August 5, 2025 • 26 mins
What happens when you break the unwritten rules of spiritual connection? For mediums and intuitive readers, the question of whether to "pre-link" with spirits before a formal reading session has long been controversial.
Throughout my journey as a medium, I've discovered that many so-called metaphysical rules are actually human constructs—not universal spiritual laws. Pre-linking, the practice of connecting with spirits before your sitter arrives, is traditionally discouraged. Most teachers insist on the sanctity of the "mediumship triangle" where medium, spirit, and sitter must be simultaneously present for a successful connection.
Yet my experience tells a different story. When I first began developing as a medium, pre-linking became my secret confidence-builder. By connecting with spirits beforehand, I overcame my self-consciousness about how long it took me to establish clear communication. This practice allowed me to build trust in my abilities without performance anxiety blocking the connection. While traditionalists insist this approach is flawed, it helped me transition into becoming a confident medium who could eventually connect instantaneously.
The revelation that truly transformed my understanding is recognizing that the mediumship triangle doesn't actually exist. What influences your connection isn't the sitter's presence, but your own energetic response to their feedback. A validating client doesn't magically amplify spirit energy—they increase your confidence, which raises your vibration. Similarly, a skeptical sitter doesn't block spirit—they trigger your self-doubt, which lowers your frequency.
Whether you're developing your mediumship abilities or seeking to strengthen your personal connection with guides and loved ones, remember that your confidence and vibration matter more than following rigid rules. The greatest challenge most spiritual practitioners face isn't technique—it's trusting their connection without seeking external validation. Experiment with pre-linking if it serves your development, particularly when connecting with pets or non-human spirits where traditional approaches may feel limiting.
Ready to deepen your spiritual connections? Try challenging the rules that don't serve you and discover what truly works for your unique intuitive abilities.
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Join the Unity Code collective to participate in experiments: https://mediumnicole.com/podcast
Nicole Pope is an internationally-trained Evidential Medium and Soul Integration Guide dedicated to helping others reconnect with their higher self, awaken their gifts, and remember who they truly are.
To connect with Nicole, book a reading, or access her social media accounts: http://mediumnicole.com/links
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
To pre-link or not pre-link?
That is the question we aregoing to talk about today on
Empower your Soul podcast.
So we are going to get a littlebit more into the mediumship
space today and or any sort ofreading space today ding to talk
about pre-linking and what thatmeans and how that's a benefit
and also how that can hinder youa little bit, because this
question has come up a coupletimes in the past few days.
(00:22):
So I know it is a wonderfultopic to talk about here on the
podcast.
Now, what is pre-linking?
Pre-linking is essentiallytapping into spirit for a
client-facing reading and orpractice reading that's fine too
in advance of the session.
So that is building your powerand connecting with a spirit
(00:43):
meant to be read in a readingbefore the reading starts.
And this is a reallycontroversial subject.
I know Mediumship.
There's so many opinions overhere in this space where we
can't literally see the peopleand it's just we're talking to
the dead, but you wouldn't thinkthe dead would be so
controversial.
(01:03):
But here we are.
We're talking to the dead, butyou wouldn't think the dead
would be so controversial, buthere we are.
And so I have been taught manytimes over the course of my
career, that pre-linking is ahuge metaphysical no-no.
And let's talk about that,because pre-linking means that I
am connecting to the spirit of,let's say, a grandfather before
(01:29):
my client is sitting in frontof me and I'm gathering
information and talking to thisgrandfather without any sort of
validation from my sitter, abouthim, about evidence, about
messages, and I'm really justkind of chatting with him before
the session starts.
Now there are pluses and minusesto this.
(01:51):
I'm going to start with theminuses for a minute, because
traditionally, the way thatmediumship is taught this is
probably the crux of where I'msupposed to go is that there is
a spiritual connection triangle.
So most mediums will talk aboutthe triangle connection between
(02:11):
us, our sitter and the spiritand that all three points of the
triangle need to be in placefor a successful evidential
mediumship session.
And while I do believe that,yes, the client needs to be
there to validate theinformation, a lot of mediums
will talk about how the energyof the sitter weighs into the
(02:36):
energy of the reading and thathaving the sitter's energy ding
will help the connection withspirit and the connection of the
evidence, of the messages andessentially making the session
more clear if the session isgoing well.
So you do need the energy ofthe spirit, the medium as well
as the sitter, to make asuccessful spiritual connection.
(02:57):
That is the triangle thateveryone talks about.
So there are a lot of mediumshipteacher purists that say,
without the sitter there, asyou're pre-linking, you do not
have all legs of the stool right, all ends of the triangle.
So therefore you cannot make agood mediumship connection.
(03:19):
And again, as you can deducewhat I'm about to say, those are
the traditional black and whitemediumship teachers that tend
to be in the spiritualist churchspace, as well as those who do
not have an original thought totheir name and they just repeat
(03:39):
and regurgitate the sameinformation from spirit.
But here is oh, hang on, beforeI go there, there is some
validity to that.
If you are a newer medium andor if you are somebody who
doesn't trust what you'rereceiving from spirit, it's
better to just wait, like itreally is most of the time,
because if you are stilllearning how to connect, how to
(04:01):
receive evidence, how tovalidate right, you need that
validation.
Yes, pre-linking probably notyour best choice, but here is,
the reality of my experiencewith pre-linking is that it can
be incredibly valuable.
So again, I'm going to stick tothe mediumship space here for a
moment and then I'm going totalk about connecting with
(04:24):
guides.
So, in terms of the mediumshipspace, a lot of us are confident
in our ability to connect.
So this is after you've had theinitial class, after you've you
know that you can connect withspirit, after you know that you
can validate evidence with yoursitter and it's right you know,
(04:44):
more more often than not I'mgoing to say it that way and so
you're pretty confident in yourability to connect with departed
loved ones.
And in this case, pre-linkingcan be okay and it can be a
little bit of an advantage.
So let's talk about where it'san advantage and where it can
(05:05):
really trip you up.
Because the advantage is, whenI started my metaphysical career
at training as a medium, I didnot have a lot of sitters and,
to be honest with you, it tookme a long time for me to connect
and receive the informationfrom spirit and interpret it and
and this is probably due to mebeing a perfectionist, me
(05:28):
wanting to get all of theinformation, and so I just
didn't feel comfortable sittingwith a sitter in front of me
while I very quietly for whatfelt like way too long for me
connected and received evidenceand information.
So what I would do instead topractice is that I would call
somebody and I would be like,hey, I'm going to connect to
(05:49):
your departed loved one.
You know, is there someone youwanted to talk to?
Are you okay with whoever comesthrough?
They might give me a name, theymight say whoever, and then I
would hang up the phone and Iwould connect and I would write
down all of my evidence, all ofmy messages, and then I would
call them back and relay what Ijust received from their
(06:12):
departed loved one.
Is it the best strategy?
No, but it helped me overcomemy fear of things coming in
slowly or things coming inincomplete, and it gave me the
confidence I needed, with thisdifferent approach, to continue
(06:32):
forward on my mediumship journey.
Because I don't think I wouldhave continued forward if I were
forced to sit one-on-one withsomebody and receive information
, really slow, because I wouldhave been very self-conscious
about that and my readings wouldhave been shit and eventually I
would have quit provideadditional information or
(07:05):
evidence or validation, whichwas always lovely, but I didn't
need it because I'd alreadyreceived the brunt of the
evidence and the message torelay to my sitters.
Um, some of you might befreaking out about what I just
said, whether that's good, andyou're like, oh my God, that's
amazing, I should try that.
Or some of you are like she'sfucking crazy, that would never
work.
I can tell you that it workedvery, very well for me again to
(07:30):
build the confidence.
It didn't last very long.
It might have lasted a month ortwo, but it did again give me
that space to test it out, sothat was a very awesome approach
for me in terms of pre-linking.
In addition, during my firstmediumship course I'm not going
to digress about the teacher.
I've done that a million timesDuring my first mediumship
(07:58):
course, where I was just fuckinglearning at the very beginning
of my journey I forgot whathappened, but I was driving
somewhere before my practicesession that evening and it was
going to be one of the firsttimes I was going to actually
sit with a sitter that wasn't myteacher and I was really,
really nervous about that, andso what I ended up doing was
opening up to spirit while I'mkind of driving and chauffeuring
my kids' places and I'm likewho's going to come through
(08:20):
tonight?
Can we chat, can we practicechauffeuring my kids' places,
and I'm like who's going to comethrough tonight?
Can we chat, can we practice?
So the spirit I was going toread ended up coming through,
ding, and he came through and itwas a grandfather and I was
able to read him.
And so what was so cool is thatthis grandfather brought
through evidence for me while Iwas driving.
I could see that he was in auniform like a military or
someone uniform.
(08:40):
I could see like there was abrother like I could see that he
was in a uniform like amilitary or some odd uniform.
I could see like there was abrother like I could see a
couple of core pieces ofevidence which you know, four or
five meetings, readings in fouror five classes in a mediumship
, like that's pretty awesome.
So I proudly I was like, yeah,I got awesome information from
this grandfather.
So I get on the phone later thatevening, or it was a Zoom and
(09:03):
my teacher's there and thesitter is there, somebody I
don't know, one of her otherstudents, and he's there ready
to receive the reading.
And I very proudly state, well,you know, I was chatting with
him earlier today and myteacher's jaw dropped on the
fucking floor, like dropped onthe floor, and was just like
you're not supposed to do that.
And I was like you never toldme not to.
(09:25):
This is the MO of my originalteacher.
You never told me not to.
And she's like, well, it'sreally risky to pull in a spirit
before reading Jokes on her.
It all landed in true, trueform to spirit for me and so I
ended up starting with what Iknew and then proceeding to kind
(09:47):
of finish up the reading,because I only remember two or
three or four pieces of evidence, but those landed and then I
was able to continue the reading.
So it was, I'm going to say,overall successful.
But I think this alludes to thefact that it is a little risky
sometimes to pre-read.
And here's where to draw theline in terms of pre-linking
(10:11):
before a session.
Because if you are trying topre-link before a session and
you're writing it down, like Iwas right, and you're taking it
verbatim and you're gettingreally stuck on the evidence
they give you, it can kind ofnarrow your mindset, it can
narrow your connection withspirit so that you're not open
(10:32):
to receiving more or differentinformation when you sit with
the sitter.
So essentially what you'redoing when you pre-link is
you're getting the informationand then when you relay it back,
you're not relaying it througha connection with spirit, you're
relaying it from your mind inyour memories, which is the
exact opposite of connectingwith spirit.
So when you're relaying theinformation back to the sitter
(10:54):
after pre linking, you're notactually, like, really connected
to spirit, you're connected toyour mind, which is going to
make it more difficult for youto get into that connection and
that vibration with spirit.
So I can understand why mostpeople would have huge
difficulty pre-linking if youaren't aware that being in your
(11:21):
mind space can hinder you fromconnecting with spirit.
So you might read all the, allthe information you've collected
and then you go to see ifspirits there and you're in the
wrong vibration.
You're in, you're in your likehuman vibration and you haven't
amplified your power, set theintention to move into the
mediumship vibration, and sothey're not there, and so that
can really mess with a lot ofpeople if you don't understand
(11:43):
the mechanics of what's going onthere which, by the way, none
of my teachers have everexplained to me.
But doesn't it make perfectsense, right?
And so this can be verybeneficial if you're very quick
to jump between me and thespirit world, your human mind
vibration in the spirit world,which obviously I've trained
(12:07):
myself to do.
So that spirit is always in myear, even when I'm in my mind
space and analytical space,right, even when I'm in my what
is it?
Alpha, no, sorry, the betabrainwaves.
Spirit's always right there, sothey can, I can still pick up
on everything.
And so and I think this was Ican still pick up on everything.
And so and I think this was Ishould have known this at the
very beginning.
(12:31):
I should have known this wouldbe my path with Spirit, because
they had me pre-linking before.
My teacher said you're notsupposed to do that, right?
Whenever any teacher says it'snot possible, you're not
supposed to do it, spiritliterally is just like watch,
watch her, do it.
I'm here to break all of therules, everybody.
That's my job in terms of themediumship and spiritual
connection space.
I'm here to break all the rulesand show you that anything's
(12:52):
possible.
There are no rules.
That's a human concept.
So that is where pre-linkingcan be really good if it helps
you build up your confidence, ifyou're using it as a practice
tool and if you are um?
Um able to move into themediumship vibration relatively
(13:14):
quickly and not get stuck thereif you're relaying the
information to your sitter, solike there's there's.
Those are kind of the plusesand minuses there.
Where I find pre-linking to bethe most beneficial is working
with guides, and I don't know ifthis is a me thing, but I find
(13:37):
that when I pre-connect withguides and I especially if I'm
mentoring et cetera I will checkin with our guides and I will
ask you know, hey, how's itgoing today?
What do we need to know?
What are we going to focus on?
What are some of the topicsright?
That's really really beneficialfor me to know what are we
talking about today, notnecessarily because I need it,
(13:57):
but like we could talk aboutanything under the sun.
And it's really good for me toat least know where have some
bullet points of what are wetalking about, so that I can
naturally move through thosebullet points without getting
lost maybe in the weeds of orgoing down rabbit holes of
things that we don't necessarilyneed to talk about.
So the guides use pre-linkingto keep me on track with
(14:20):
readings, which I love.
Where I am less leery or sorry.
Where I'm more leery, lesslikely to pre-connect, is with
mediumship readings.
I know, I know I don't.
I used to do it, now I don't doit anymore and what I've found
(14:40):
is that I'll often check.
So I do take a few minutes toget into the zone before my
readings and I'll connect withtheir guides or their departed
loved one and I'm like do youwant me to connect?
And more often than not rightnow, the answer is no, just go
into it.
When I do connect, sometimesI'll get again that list of
(15:02):
bullet points of like what's thetone of this reading?
Is it positive or negative?
Right, are we talking about?
Is this?
You know, I might get the youknow grandma, brother, friend
coming through, so I kind ofknow who to expect.
But for the most part, at thisstage in the game, spirit's just
like they don't want me towaste my time pre-linking and
(15:22):
because that doesn't that justwreak ego, doesn't it just wreak
?
I want control.
Yeah, that's me, I'm sorry, Istill try to, though I still
like who doesn't like to knowwhat they're walking into?
Because it feels so good and itworks so well with guides that
I figure we can do the same withdeparted loved ones.
And they're like no, we don'twant to do that, we just want it
to be authentic and in themoment, and so what will
(15:44):
typically happen, at least atthis stage in the game, is that
I will connect and they willgive me false information to
purposely trip me up, to be likecut the shit, nicole, we told
you we didn't want to connect,so that will happen too.
Isn't that fun?
Yeah, so that will happen, so Iso.
I guess that's that leads me to.
(16:05):
When I do not pre link, which isnow in the space of evidential
mediumship, and I do not connectin advance to Akashic Records.
Nope, I might tap into theguides before an Akashic Records
reading to be like what are wetalking about?
But for the most part, theAkashic Records are like we got
it, we don't need you topre-link.
And the dead people are like wedon't need you to pre-link, but
(16:26):
, true, in guide form.
They will talk your ear off andthen talk your ear off again
right, because you have two earsand then they will probably
talk some more, even though youcan't hear anything, because
that's what guides do.
They're just, they're funny,they are, they are love and
light and they just they want togive so much help, and so
they're always there trying tohelp you with everything and
(16:49):
anything under the sun.
Oh, okay, I'm seeing if there'sanything else and and pets are
coming up right now, so let meask.
I'm seeing pets in my head so,um, if anyone is out there
trying to learn how to pre-linkpets can be a really cool space,
so I'm.
I guess where they want me toadd is in terms of pre-linking
(17:14):
anything that feels atypical.
So, like, pets generally feelatypical for a lot of people,
because a lot of people are notexpecting pets or don't know how
pets communicate.
Because I think we're used toconnecting in terms of
mediumship with departed lovedones, people that have voice
boxes right, people that cantalk and walk and all these
things, and so connecting withthem feels really natural and
(17:36):
normal because they are us right, they used to have a physical
body.
It feels very easy tocommunicate with that.
Where it feels less easy tocommunicate and where you can
get in your head a little bit,is a great place to do a little
pre-linking.
So, like animals, connectingwith departed pets, that
pre-linking is probably a reallygood idea because it allows you
(17:57):
to kind of move through yourown bias, your own energy, and
help move you past your ownmisconceptions about connecting
to the spirit world in terms ofpets and allows you to enter the
reading in a good space,already processing through your
(18:18):
expectations, so that you canjust show up and do the reading.
So that would be a really,really good place to practice is
kind of what they're sayingthere.
And then bringing it back tothat mediumship triangle that we
were talking about because Ididn't cover that and this will
probably be another podcastepisode eventually is that, when
it comes down to all of thisstuff that I just talked about,
(18:40):
I think it's all possible,because I don't think the
triangle of connection exists.
Yep, I said it, the mediumshiptriangle does not exist.
I feel like I'm on Mean Girls.
The limit does not exist.
That limit does not existeverybody.
And the reason I say that isbecause, just like I'm talking,
you're listening to me and youcan chat with your own team and
(19:03):
you can chat with your owndeparted loved ones.
You don't need a third party tocome in on the conversation.
You don't, because we are souls, we are spirit and we can
connect to any level of spiritif we are trained and open
enough for it.
And so this idea of the sitterbeing part of the mediumship
triangle makes me scratch myhead, because we don't need a
(19:25):
sitter to connect with spirit.
They can help or hurt yourreading, though, which I think
is a valid point within themediumship triangle, because if
your sitter is there, andthey're validating the evidence
and they're validating theinformation, what is happening
is that their energy isamplified with your energy to
(19:46):
improve the connection to spirit.
So can they help?
Absolutely yes, likewise, yes,likewise.
What will happen if your sitteris a skeptic and says no and
doesn't take your information oryour evidence?
That will lower the vibrationof the general reading and make
(20:07):
it more difficult to connectright.
So a good sitter amplifies.
A critical sitter I'm going tosay it that way might decrease
your vibration and make it moredifficult to connect.
Why do you think that isBecause I'll tell you what
you're connected to spirit.
But why do you think yourvibration increases with a good
(20:30):
sitter and decreases with a badsitter?
And I'll give you the hint it'snot their energy, it's your
reaction to their energy, it'sthe fact that they're puffing
you up and making you feel goodabout the validation, and so you
trust spirit more, and so thatamplifies your spirit more, your
energy more.
It makes your vibration higherand improves your connection
(20:52):
with spirit and improves yourconnection with spirit.
Likewise, if you have a sitterthat keeps saying no or
discounts you or doesn't believeyou, or is sitting in there
with their arms crossed notsaying anything, you're going to
feel less secure, lessconfident in your reading and
(21:14):
you, in turn, are going todecrease your vibration and the
reading is going to get worse.
And so I'm going to challengeand I'll fight.
I'll fight you.
I'll fight you If you disagree.
Not really, I won't fight you,but I'm open to conversation.
But my biggest argument rightnow is there is no triangle.
It's your ego should be thethird level, the third thing in
the triangle, not the sitter,because it's your ego's response
(21:37):
to the sitter, whether you didgood or did bad, which impacts
your vibration, which brings itback to you.
So there's no triangle, it'sjust you and spirit.
And so this is why we can havefucking slam dunk readings with
shitty sitters.
Can have fucking slam dunkreadings with shitty sitters,
(22:00):
right?
Because if you ignore yoursitter and you just connect with
spirit and you go, you're goingto have a great connection.
Likewise, if you have a reallyamazing sitter and you do shit,
maybe it's just your energythat's low that day.
Maybe you're beating yourselfup, you're being too critical of
what they're bringing through,even though your sitter is so
fucking enthralled with the waythat you read and we've all had
(22:21):
them right.
If you feel like you've had areally shit reading, but it
changes somebody's life, it'syou.
It's your energy that changedit, not the sitter's.
You're the one who brought thevibration down Because you
didn't like what was broughtthrough.
Your ego said this isn't goodenough and so, yeah, I'm going
(22:42):
to challenge everybody.
This is why direct versus notdirect is part of the equation,
but it's also the triangle ofspirit and how it doesn't exist
and how it's just you and spiritand your ego's reaction to the
sitter, and that is probably thenumber one thing that most
mediums need to work on.
That is, building confidence isdoing what you do and not
(23:08):
worrying about how the sitter isreacting to any of it.
That's the biggest hurdle mostmediums face.
So there you go.
There is my direct versus notdirect in my mediumship triangle
fallacy podcast episode for you.
I hope this was value add forall of you.
I hope you all ponder this fornights and weeks, because this
(23:30):
is what I do all the time is, Ithink about all these things.
It's literally you can't see.
It's on my whiteboard to myright is is this whole thing
about?
How quote giant letters alluppercase that says not a
triangle.
It's been up here for monthsand now I'm finally talking
about it.
So there you go, enjoy your nottriangle.
Look for the lines no trianglesand go direct if you, or go pre
(23:54):
link if you feel like it.
Give it a try and see how itfeels for you.
All right, sending you all love.
I hope you all have a wonderfulday.
Take care.
To pre-link or not pre-link?
That is the question we aregoing to talk about today on
Empower your Soul podcast.
So we are going to get a littlebit more into the mediumship
space today and or any sort ofreading space today ding to talk
about pre-linking and what thatmeans and how that's a benefit
and also how that can hinder youa little bit, because this
question has come up a coupletimes in the past few days.
(00:22):
So I know it is a wonderfultopic to talk about here on the
podcast.
Now, what is pre-linking?
Pre-linking is essentiallytapping into spirit for a
client-facing reading and orpractice reading that's fine too
in advance of the session.
So that is building your powerand connecting with a spirit
(00:43):
meant to be read in a readingbefore the reading starts.
And this is a reallycontroversial subject.
I know Mediumship.
There's so many opinions overhere in this space where we
can't literally see the peopleand it's just we're talking to
the dead, but you wouldn't thinkthe dead would be so
controversial.
(01:03):
But here we are.
We're talking to the dead, butyou wouldn't think the dead
would be so controversial, buthere we are.
And so I have been taught manytimes over the course of my
career, that pre-linking is ahuge metaphysical no-no.
And let's talk about that,because pre-linking means that I
am connecting to the spirit of,let's say, a grandfather before
(01:29):
my client is sitting in frontof me and I'm gathering
information and talking to thisgrandfather without any sort of
validation from my sitter, abouthim, about evidence, about
messages, and I'm really justkind of chatting with him before
the session starts.
Now there are pluses and minusesto this.
(01:51):
I'm going to start with theminuses for a minute, because
traditionally, the way thatmediumship is taught this is
probably the crux of where I'msupposed to go is that there is
a spiritual connection triangle.
So most mediums will talk aboutthe triangle connection between
(02:11):
us, our sitter and the spiritand that all three points of the
triangle need to be in placefor a successful evidential
mediumship session.
And while I do believe that,yes, the client needs to be
there to validate theinformation, a lot of mediums
will talk about how the energyof the sitter weighs into the
(02:36):
energy of the reading and thathaving the sitter's energy ding
will help the connection withspirit and the connection of the
evidence, of the messages andessentially making the session
more clear if the session isgoing well.
So you do need the energy ofthe spirit, the medium as well
as the sitter, to make asuccessful spiritual connection.
(02:57):
That is the triangle thateveryone talks about.
So there are a lot of mediumshipteacher purists that say,
without the sitter there, asyou're pre-linking, you do not
have all legs of the stool right, all ends of the triangle.
So therefore you cannot make agood mediumship connection.
(03:19):
And again, as you can deducewhat I'm about to say, those are
the traditional black and whitemediumship teachers that tend
to be in the spiritualist churchspace, as well as those who do
not have an original thought totheir name and they just repeat
(03:39):
and regurgitate the sameinformation from spirit.
But here is oh, hang on, beforeI go there, there is some
validity to that.
If you are a newer medium andor if you are somebody who
doesn't trust what you'rereceiving from spirit, it's
better to just wait, like itreally is most of the time,
because if you are stilllearning how to connect, how to
(04:01):
receive evidence, how tovalidate right, you need that
validation.
Yes, pre-linking probably notyour best choice, but here is,
the reality of my experiencewith pre-linking is that it can
be incredibly valuable.
So again, I'm going to stick tothe mediumship space here for a
moment and then I'm going totalk about connecting with
(04:24):
guides.
So, in terms of the mediumshipspace, a lot of us are confident
in our ability to connect.
So this is after you've had theinitial class, after you've you
know that you can connect withspirit, after you know that you
can validate evidence with yoursitter and it's right you know,
(04:44):
more more often than not I'mgoing to say it that way and so
you're pretty confident in yourability to connect with departed
loved ones.
And in this case, pre-linkingcan be okay and it can be a
little bit of an advantage.
So let's talk about where it'san advantage and where it can
(05:05):
really trip you up.
Because the advantage is, whenI started my metaphysical career
at training as a medium, I didnot have a lot of sitters and,
to be honest with you, it tookme a long time for me to connect
and receive the informationfrom spirit and interpret it and
and this is probably due to mebeing a perfectionist, me
(05:28):
wanting to get all of theinformation, and so I just
didn't feel comfortable sittingwith a sitter in front of me
while I very quietly for whatfelt like way too long for me
connected and received evidenceand information.
So what I would do instead topractice is that I would call
somebody and I would be like,hey, I'm going to connect to
(05:49):
your departed loved one.
You know, is there someone youwanted to talk to?
Are you okay with whoever comesthrough?
They might give me a name, theymight say whoever, and then I
would hang up the phone and Iwould connect and I would write
down all of my evidence, all ofmy messages, and then I would
call them back and relay what Ijust received from their
(06:12):
departed loved one.
Is it the best strategy?
No, but it helped me overcomemy fear of things coming in
slowly or things coming inincomplete, and it gave me the
confidence I needed, with thisdifferent approach, to continue
(06:32):
forward on my mediumship journey.
Because I don't think I wouldhave continued forward if I were
forced to sit one-on-one withsomebody and receive information
, really slow, because I wouldhave been very self-conscious
about that and my readings wouldhave been shit and eventually I
would have quit provideadditional information or
(07:05):
evidence or validation, whichwas always lovely, but I didn't
need it because I'd alreadyreceived the brunt of the
evidence and the message torelay to my sitters.
Um, some of you might befreaking out about what I just
said, whether that's good, andyou're like, oh my God, that's
amazing, I should try that.
Or some of you are like she'sfucking crazy, that would never
work.
I can tell you that it workedvery, very well for me again to
(07:30):
build the confidence.
It didn't last very long.
It might have lasted a month ortwo, but it did again give me
that space to test it out, sothat was a very awesome approach
for me in terms of pre-linking.
In addition, during my firstmediumship course I'm not going
to digress about the teacher.
I've done that a million timesDuring my first mediumship
(07:58):
course, where I was just fuckinglearning at the very beginning
of my journey I forgot whathappened, but I was driving
somewhere before my practicesession that evening and it was
going to be one of the firsttimes I was going to actually
sit with a sitter that wasn't myteacher and I was really,
really nervous about that, andso what I ended up doing was
opening up to spirit while I'mkind of driving and chauffeuring
my kids' places and I'm likewho's going to come through
(08:20):
tonight?
Can we chat, can we practicechauffeuring my kids' places,
and I'm like who's going to comethrough tonight?
Can we chat, can we practice?
So the spirit I was going toread ended up coming through,
ding, and he came through and itwas a grandfather and I was
able to read him.
And so what was so cool is thatthis grandfather brought
through evidence for me while Iwas driving.
I could see that he was in auniform like a military or
someone uniform.
(08:40):
I could see like there was abrother like I could see that he
was in a uniform like amilitary or some odd uniform.
I could see like there was abrother like I could see a
couple of core pieces ofevidence which you know, four or
five meetings, readings in fouror five classes in a mediumship
, like that's pretty awesome.
So I proudly I was like, yeah,I got awesome information from
this grandfather.
So I get on the phone later thatevening, or it was a Zoom and
(09:03):
my teacher's there and thesitter is there, somebody I
don't know, one of her otherstudents, and he's there ready
to receive the reading.
And I very proudly state, well,you know, I was chatting with
him earlier today and myteacher's jaw dropped on the
fucking floor, like dropped onthe floor, and was just like
you're not supposed to do that.
And I was like you never toldme not to.
(09:25):
This is the MO of my originalteacher.
You never told me not to.
And she's like, well, it'sreally risky to pull in a spirit
before reading Jokes on her.
It all landed in true, trueform to spirit for me and so I
ended up starting with what Iknew and then proceeding to kind
(09:47):
of finish up the reading,because I only remember two or
three or four pieces of evidence, but those landed and then I
was able to continue the reading.
So it was, I'm going to say,overall successful.
But I think this alludes to thefact that it is a little risky
sometimes to pre-read.
And here's where to draw theline in terms of pre-linking
(10:11):
before a session.
Because if you are trying topre-link before a session and
you're writing it down, like Iwas right, and you're taking it
verbatim and you're gettingreally stuck on the evidence
they give you, it can kind ofnarrow your mindset, it can
narrow your connection withspirit so that you're not open
(10:32):
to receiving more or differentinformation when you sit with
the sitter.
So essentially what you'redoing when you pre-link is
you're getting the informationand then when you relay it back,
you're not relaying it througha connection with spirit, you're
relaying it from your mind inyour memories, which is the
exact opposite of connectingwith spirit.
So when you're relaying theinformation back to the sitter
(10:54):
after pre linking, you're notactually, like, really connected
to spirit, you're connected toyour mind, which is going to
make it more difficult for youto get into that connection and
that vibration with spirit.
So I can understand why mostpeople would have huge
difficulty pre-linking if youaren't aware that being in your
(11:21):
mind space can hinder you fromconnecting with spirit.
So you might read all the, allthe information you've collected
and then you go to see ifspirits there and you're in the
wrong vibration.
You're in, you're in your likehuman vibration and you haven't
amplified your power, set theintention to move into the
mediumship vibration, and sothey're not there, and so that
can really mess with a lot ofpeople if you don't understand
(11:43):
the mechanics of what's going onthere which, by the way, none
of my teachers have everexplained to me.
But doesn't it make perfectsense, right?
And so this can be verybeneficial if you're very quick
to jump between me and thespirit world, your human mind
vibration in the spirit world,which obviously I've trained
(12:07):
myself to do.
So that spirit is always in myear, even when I'm in my mind
space and analytical space,right, even when I'm in my what
is it?
Alpha, no, sorry, the betabrainwaves.
Spirit's always right there, sothey can, I can still pick up
on everything.
And so and I think this was Ican still pick up on everything.
And so and I think this was Ishould have known this at the
very beginning.
(12:31):
I should have known this wouldbe my path with Spirit, because
they had me pre-linking before.
My teacher said you're notsupposed to do that, right?
Whenever any teacher says it'snot possible, you're not
supposed to do it, spiritliterally is just like watch,
watch her, do it.
I'm here to break all of therules, everybody.
That's my job in terms of themediumship and spiritual
connection space.
I'm here to break all the rulesand show you that anything's
(12:52):
possible.
There are no rules.
That's a human concept.
So that is where pre-linkingcan be really good if it helps
you build up your confidence, ifyou're using it as a practice
tool and if you are um?
Um able to move into themediumship vibration relatively
(13:14):
quickly and not get stuck thereif you're relaying the
information to your sitter, solike there's there's.
Those are kind of the plusesand minuses there.
Where I find pre-linking to bethe most beneficial is working
with guides, and I don't know ifthis is a me thing, but I find
(13:37):
that when I pre-connect withguides and I especially if I'm
mentoring et cetera I will checkin with our guides and I will
ask you know, hey, how's itgoing today?
What do we need to know?
What are we going to focus on?
What are some of the topicsright?
That's really really beneficialfor me to know what are we
talking about today, notnecessarily because I need it,
(13:57):
but like we could talk aboutanything under the sun.
And it's really good for me toat least know where have some
bullet points of what are wetalking about, so that I can
naturally move through thosebullet points without getting
lost maybe in the weeds of orgoing down rabbit holes of
things that we don't necessarilyneed to talk about.
So the guides use pre-linkingto keep me on track with
(14:20):
readings, which I love.
Where I am less leery or sorry.
Where I'm more leery, lesslikely to pre-connect, is with
mediumship readings.
I know, I know I don't.
I used to do it, now I don't doit anymore and what I've found
(14:40):
is that I'll often check.
So I do take a few minutes toget into the zone before my
readings and I'll connect withtheir guides or their departed
loved one and I'm like do youwant me to connect?
And more often than not rightnow, the answer is no, just go
into it.
When I do connect, sometimesI'll get again that list of
(15:02):
bullet points of like what's thetone of this reading?
Is it positive or negative?
Right, are we talking about?
Is this?
You know, I might get the youknow grandma, brother, friend
coming through, so I kind ofknow who to expect.
But for the most part, at thisstage in the game, spirit's just
like they don't want me towaste my time pre-linking and
(15:22):
because that doesn't that justwreak ego, doesn't it just wreak
?
I want control.
Yeah, that's me, I'm sorry, Istill try to, though I still
like who doesn't like to knowwhat they're walking into?
Because it feels so good and itworks so well with guides that
I figure we can do the same withdeparted loved ones.
And they're like no, we don'twant to do that, we just want it
to be authentic and in themoment, and so what will
(15:44):
typically happen, at least atthis stage in the game, is that
I will connect and they willgive me false information to
purposely trip me up, to be likecut the shit, nicole, we told
you we didn't want to connect,so that will happen too.
Isn't that fun?
Yeah, so that will happen, so Iso.
I guess that's that leads me to.
(16:05):
When I do not pre link, which isnow in the space of evidential
mediumship, and I do not connectin advance to Akashic Records.
Nope, I might tap into theguides before an Akashic Records
reading to be like what are wetalking about?
But for the most part, theAkashic Records are like we got
it, we don't need you topre-link.
And the dead people are like wedon't need you to pre-link, but
(16:26):
, true, in guide form.
They will talk your ear off andthen talk your ear off again
right, because you have two earsand then they will probably
talk some more, even though youcan't hear anything, because
that's what guides do.
They're just, they're funny,they are, they are love and
light and they just they want togive so much help, and so
they're always there trying tohelp you with everything and
(16:49):
anything under the sun.
Oh, okay, I'm seeing if there'sanything else and and pets are
coming up right now, so let meask.
I'm seeing pets in my head so,um, if anyone is out there
trying to learn how to pre-linkpets can be a really cool space,
so I'm.
I guess where they want me toadd is in terms of pre-linking
(17:14):
anything that feels atypical.
So, like, pets generally feelatypical for a lot of people,
because a lot of people are notexpecting pets or don't know how
pets communicate.
Because I think we're used toconnecting in terms of
mediumship with departed lovedones, people that have voice
boxes right, people that cantalk and walk and all these
things, and so connecting withthem feels really natural and
(17:36):
normal because they are us right, they used to have a physical
body.
It feels very easy tocommunicate with that.
Where it feels less easy tocommunicate and where you can
get in your head a little bit,is a great place to do a little
pre-linking.
So, like animals, connectingwith departed pets, that
pre-linking is probably a reallygood idea because it allows you
(17:57):
to kind of move through yourown bias, your own energy, and
help move you past your ownmisconceptions about connecting
to the spirit world in terms ofpets and allows you to enter the
reading in a good space,already processing through your
(18:18):
expectations, so that you canjust show up and do the reading.
So that would be a really,really good place to practice is
kind of what they're sayingthere.
And then bringing it back tothat mediumship triangle that we
were talking about because Ididn't cover that and this will
probably be another podcastepisode eventually is that, when
it comes down to all of thisstuff that I just talked about,
(18:40):
I think it's all possible,because I don't think the
triangle of connection exists.
Yep, I said it, the mediumshiptriangle does not exist.
I feel like I'm on Mean Girls.
The limit does not exist.
That limit does not existeverybody.
And the reason I say that isbecause, just like I'm talking,
you're listening to me and youcan chat with your own team and
(19:03):
you can chat with your owndeparted loved ones.
You don't need a third party tocome in on the conversation.
You don't, because we are souls, we are spirit and we can
connect to any level of spiritif we are trained and open
enough for it.
And so this idea of the sitterbeing part of the mediumship
triangle makes me scratch myhead, because we don't need a
(19:25):
sitter to connect with spirit.
They can help or hurt yourreading, though, which I think
is a valid point within themediumship triangle, because if
your sitter is there, andthey're validating the evidence
and they're validating theinformation, what is happening
is that their energy isamplified with your energy to
(19:46):
improve the connection to spirit.
So can they help?
Absolutely yes, likewise, yes,likewise.
What will happen if your sitteris a skeptic and says no and
doesn't take your information oryour evidence?
That will lower the vibrationof the general reading and make
(20:07):
it more difficult to connectright.
So a good sitter amplifies.
A critical sitter I'm going tosay it that way might decrease
your vibration and make it moredifficult to connect.
Why do you think that isBecause I'll tell you what
you're connected to spirit.
But why do you think yourvibration increases with a good
(20:30):
sitter and decreases with a badsitter?
And I'll give you the hint it'snot their energy, it's your
reaction to their energy, it'sthe fact that they're puffing
you up and making you feel goodabout the validation, and so you
trust spirit more, and so thatamplifies your spirit more, your
energy more.
It makes your vibration higherand improves your connection
(20:52):
with spirit and improves yourconnection with spirit.
Likewise, if you have a sitterthat keeps saying no or
discounts you or doesn't believeyou, or is sitting in there
with their arms crossed notsaying anything, you're going to
feel less secure, lessconfident in your reading and
(21:14):
you, in turn, are going todecrease your vibration and the
reading is going to get worse.
And so I'm going to challengeand I'll fight.
I'll fight you.
I'll fight you If you disagree.
Not really, I won't fight you,but I'm open to conversation.
But my biggest argument rightnow is there is no triangle.
It's your ego should be thethird level, the third thing in
the triangle, not the sitter,because it's your ego's response
(21:37):
to the sitter, whether you didgood or did bad, which impacts
your vibration, which brings itback to you.
So there's no triangle, it'sjust you and spirit.
And so this is why we can havefucking slam dunk readings with
shitty sitters.
Can have fucking slam dunkreadings with shitty sitters,
(22:00):
right?
Because if you ignore yoursitter and you just connect with
spirit and you go, you're goingto have a great connection.
Likewise, if you have a reallyamazing sitter and you do shit,
maybe it's just your energythat's low that day.
Maybe you're beating yourselfup, you're being too critical of
what they're bringing through,even though your sitter is so
fucking enthralled with the waythat you read and we've all had
(22:21):
them right.
If you feel like you've had areally shit reading, but it
changes somebody's life, it'syou.
It's your energy that changedit, not the sitter's.
You're the one who brought thevibration down Because you
didn't like what was broughtthrough.
Your ego said this isn't goodenough and so, yeah, I'm going
(22:42):
to challenge everybody.
This is why direct versus notdirect is part of the equation,
but it's also the triangle ofspirit and how it doesn't exist
and how it's just you and spiritand your ego's reaction to the
sitter, and that is probably thenumber one thing that most
mediums need to work on.
That is, building confidence isdoing what you do and not
(23:08):
worrying about how the sitter isreacting to any of it.
That's the biggest hurdle mostmediums face.
So there you go.
There is my direct versus notdirect in my mediumship triangle
fallacy podcast episode for you.
I hope this was value add forall of you.
I hope you all ponder this fornights and weeks, because this
(23:30):
is what I do all the time is, Ithink about all these things.
It's literally you can't see.
It's on my whiteboard to myright is is this whole thing
about?
How quote giant letters alluppercase that says not a
triangle.
It's been up here for monthsand now I'm finally talking
about it.
So there you go, enjoy your nottriangle.
Look for the lines no trianglesand go direct if you, or go pre
(23:54):
link if you feel like it.
Give it a try and see how itfeels for you.
All right, sending you all love.
I hope you all have a wonderfulday.
Take care.
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