December 3, 2025 • 16 mins
The goal of The UnScripted Mind Podcast is to give you fresh perspectives, practical insights and tools you can use to give you more choices, self-awareness and control of your feelings, reactions and behaviors.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Do you ever find yourself thinking, why don't my
(00:02):
kids listen anymore?
Or maybe it didn't seem thishard for my parents or my
teachers or even the police backthen.
Well, I don't think you'reimagining it.
Something has shifted.
Parenting has changed, and so isthe whole landscape of
authority.
Teachers say students argueevery point of a grade.
Police talk about teens who filmtraffic stops just to go viral.
(00:23):
Even coaches and pastors tell methey're walking on eggshells
sometimes to try not to offendanyone.
Somewhere along the way, respectstopped being assumed and
started being negotiated.
The world our kids are growingup in looks nothing like the one
we did.
They've got instant access toinformation, opinions, and
influencers, all who say thesame thing.
(00:44):
No one gets to tell you what todo.
So if you've ever felt like yourauthority at home, in the
classroom, or anywhere else isslowly slipping away, maybe this
episode's just for you.
Today we're unpacking seven waysparenting and authority have
changed in just one generationand what you can do to stay
(01:04):
connected and confident throughit all.
On this episode of theUnscripted Mind.
Welcome to the Unscripted Mind,where our goal is to give you
fresh perspectives, practicalinsights, and tools you can use
to give you more choices,increase your awareness, and
(01:27):
have better control of yourfeelings, reactions, and
behaviors.
I'm Jim Cunningham.
I'm a licensed professionalcounselor, and today we're
unpacking something everyparent, and honestly every
teacher, coach, and leader hasprobably felt the sense that the
world isn't listening the way itused to.
We're going to look at whyparenting feels harder today,
(01:47):
what's changed in how kids seeauthority, and how you can start
rebuilding influence, not withpower plays or punishment, but
with calm, consistency, andconnection.
So let's start with one of thebiggest challenges and the
biggest changes.
The shift from authority toequality in parenting.
So if you grew up in the 80s orthe 90s, you probably remember
(02:10):
hearing because I said so.
That was the end of thediscussion.
Today it starts one.
We've shifted from a world whereauthority was automatic to one
where it has to be earnedrelationally, quote unquote
earned.
A 2023 survey from Talk Researchfound that nearly 70% of parents
identify as cycle breakers.
(02:31):
That is, they're trying to healgenerational patterns with more
empathy and emotional openness.
On the positive sides, kidsprobably feel more valued and
heard.
They grow up with voices andthey feel confident.
On the negative side, the linesget a little bit blurry.
Kids start to see parents asequals, not leaders, and
authority starts to becomenegotiable.
(02:53):
Dr.
Charles Fay of Love and LogicFame put it this way Children
don't rebel against limits, theyrebel against inconsistent or
fearful leadership.
So maybe the real goal isn't tobe a friend or a dictator, it's
to be calm, confident.
A leader who can both berelational and responsible.
(03:13):
Here's one of the sneakiest andmost insidious shifts in
parenting today.
The culture, and I meanvirtually all aspects of it
around us, no longer has parentsback.
Think about it.
In past decades, your child's TVshow, your neighbor, your
teacher all reinforced the samemessage.
The parents are in charge.
(03:34):
Today, well, that story isreversed.
As Golden Newfeld pointed out,advertisers now depict parents
as neglectful, incompetent,abusive, invisible, or
embarrassing in order to givethe children more buying power
and influence.
Again, remember, they wereinterviewing uh marketing CEOs.
This isn't new though.
(03:55):
This has gotten a lot worse init and very insidious in a lot
of different areas.
A study of 34 top-rated sitcomsfrom 1980 to 2017 found that
fathers were depicted as, quote,humorously foolish in over 50%
of all the relevant scenes inthe 2000s and 2010s, compared
with just 18% in the 1980s.
(04:17):
The positive side of thiscultural shift is important.
I mean, children are learning toquestion authority, to perhaps
think more critically, to valuefairness, not just obedience,
and that's necessary in acomplex world.
But the negative side?
Well, when every cultural cue,from commercials to social media
to streaming influencers, saythe parent is optional or out of
(04:39):
step, then obedience, respect,leadership, well, they get
undermined.
Of course, the irony here isthat strangers, people our kids
have never met, are often givenmore unilateral credibility,
authority, and respect thanparents.
And there's more.
Research in the Netherlandsfound that parents who feel less
(05:00):
confident or lack partnersupport are more likely to hand
over media devices to modifybehavior or just to act as a
babysitter.
That means media isn't justsending the message, it's
helping parents relinquishcontrol.
The piece we can't ignore, Idon't think authority has
vanished, but I think it hasshifted from being given to
(05:21):
being earned.
If culture is telling your kidsleadership doesn't matter, then
we have to find a way to buildit day by day, not just through
rules, but through our tone, ourpresence, our follow-through,
and our connection.
Sometimes that means not lettingour own use of technology
interfere with our time with ourkids.
So let's move on.
(05:43):
And let's be honest, right?
Technology has changed theparenting game completely.
When we were kids, boredom was apart of life.
There were virtually no screens,or at least none, or very few
that were even worth spendingtime watching.
The excitement was beingoutside, being with our friends,
doing things.
Now every spare second is filledwith a screen.
(06:03):
According to the AmericanPsychological Association,
children's ability to delaygratification has declined
significantly since the 1980s.
Why?
Well, because constantstimulation rewires the brain to
expect immediate rewards.
That's called dopamine, and it'svery different than serotonin.
Dopamine is that spike you getwhen you get that like when the
(06:26):
slot machine pays off.
Serotonin is different in thesense that it is a continual
sense that everything is goingto be okay.
So dopamine is something thatpeople chase, and dopamine
doesn't want the Dorito, itwants the whole bag.
And so we're always chasing insome ways the dragon, right?
We're always looking for thatnext hit.
And that is addictive in a lotof ways.
(06:48):
So what's the positive side ofall this?
Well, kids have unlimited accessto learning and creative tools.
They can code, they can composemusic, they can learn languages
from home.
The downside?
Well, they tend to struggle totolerate boredom or manage
delayed gratification, skillsthat are essential to building
resilience.
As Johann Hari argues in hisbook Stolen Focus, our minds are
(07:12):
being fired at point blank withinformation, and our ability to
sustain concentration iscollapsing under that weight.
He notes that the first 12 majorcauses is the increase in speed,
switching, and filtering.
In other words, constantmultitasking and
overstimulation.
Things you don't get from doingmath homework.
(07:33):
There is no instant payoff forthat.
There's no quick feedback loopfor that.
This perspective helps us seethat when our kids struggle to
wait or to tolerate boredom,we're not just dealing with poor
behavior.
We're dealing with brains shapedby a world of distraction and
instant feedback.
So when your child says fivemore minutes, you're not just
(07:55):
battling defiance.
You're up against brainchemistry, chasing the dragon.
The solution isn't no screens,it's balance.
Build intentional quiet timewhere the brain can reset.
This leads us to a couple morechallenges, right?
How do we get rid of the screensfrom parents who arguably today
are more emotionally focusedthan any generation before us?
(08:17):
And that can be a beautifulthing.
But with awareness came a newburden guilt.
We don't want our kids to hateus, so we negotiate every limit.
Okay, five more minutes.
Does that sound familiar?
Now, on the positive side,empathy teaches children
emotional intelligence.
They learn that feelings matter.
The downside, feelings oftenreplace reality.
(08:41):
There are things that we have todo, and it really doesn't matter
how we feel about it.
We gotta get up and go to work.
Developmental specialist Dr.
Laura Markham says, when weshield children from discomfort,
we rob them of the chance tobuild coping skills.
Also, if every boundary moves,kids develop low frustration
tolerance and confuse love withleniency.
(09:04):
Remember, clear and consistentboundaries provide a sense of
security.
If you think about a lamb and apen, the pen and the fence keep
him contained.
But it on the flip side it alsokeeps him safe because not only
does it not let him go otherplaces, it also keeps other
things out.
So setting limits is not beingharsh.
(09:24):
It's an act of love in manyways.
Structure and warmth cancoexist, and when they do, kids
feel safe enough to grow.
And speaking of structure andconnection, remember family
dinners without phones?
If you can remember that farback, uh we used to watch
parents talk, disagree, make up.
(09:44):
That's how we learned empathy,social cues, appropriate
relational dynamics, by watchingfaces, not screens.
A University of Michigan studyfound that empathy in young
adults has declined by more than40% since the early 2000s.
Researchers link it to reducedface-to-face interaction.
Now, the upside, technology letskids connect with diverse
(10:08):
perspectives and cultures.
That's great.
But the downside is they losepractice reading body language,
facial cues, and tone, thebuilding blocks of emotional
intelligence.
Psychologist Albert Bandurafamously said, children learn
more from what you are than whatyou teach.
In other words, your presence isthe curriculum.
(10:30):
So put down the phone sometimes.
Not to be perfect, but to bepresent.
And the more models kids have,the better.
This takes us into the communitypart of this.
Because in the past, familieswere part of a village, literal
ones.
Grandparents lived down thestreet, neighbors looked out for
each other, and politics didn'tget in the way of that.
(10:51):
We cared about each otherbecause we actually knew each
other.
Today most parents are doingthis alone or with both parents
working full-time.
Now, the positive thing is kidsgrow up independent and
adaptable in many cases.
The downside is they miss thesteady reinforcement of shared
values from other adults andtheir experiences, their
(11:13):
stories.
Instead, they get their moralsfrom peers and influencers
online, and as I said before,many of which they've never even
met.
Researcher Dr.
Brene Brown once said, belongingisn't about fitting in.
It's about being seen for whoyou are and still being
accepted.
Kids learn that first in thecommunity, not online.
(11:34):
So rebuild yours.
Find families that share yourvalues, reestablish a faith
community, invite mentors intoyour child's world because it
does take a village.
And finally, there's thiselement of what's driving
parents.
And I think there's a commonthread that I see a lot these
days, and it's parenting beingruled by fear.
(11:56):
We're afraid our kids aregetting hurt, they're falling
behind, being judged on socialmedia, or just being judged by
other parents.
Now, the positive side is thatawareness can make us empathetic
and reflective.
It can also paralyze us.
When kids see us hesitate, theyinterpret it as uncertainty, and
uncertainty feels unsafe.
(12:17):
Remember, kids are greatobservers, but they make
horrible interpreters.
Studies show that children whofeel secure in their
relationship with parents aremore likely to explore their
environments confidently anddevelop healthy coping
mechanisms.
As Dr.
Charles Fay says, children needcalm, confident leaders more
than they need perfect ones.
(12:37):
So confidence isn't aboutknowing everything, it's about
being consistent in what you doknow.
Kids don't need you to be rightevery time.
They need you to be steady.
So a quick recap of thesetakeaways.
Then versus now.
Authority back in the 80s and90s, very top-down, positional,
hierarchical.
Today, very relational andearned.
(13:00):
Discipline.
The rules used to be very clearand firm follow-through was
expected.
Now the limits are negotiated.
Technology back in the day,minimal exposure.
Now constant stimulation.
Community back in the day sharedmoral messages.
Now a lot of conflicting voicesare out there.
(13:20):
Back in the day, parent mindsetwas very confident, sometimes
rigid, now very empathetic andoften anxious.
The result?
Well, back in the day, obediencecame through fear for good
reason.
Today it's all about resistancethrough freedom.
Now, I wouldn't say that eitherera was perfect.
(13:41):
The sweet spot is probablycombining the structure of then
with the empathy of now.
And we can talk about some waysto do that.
So how do we reclaim influencein a world that feels a little
out of control, or maybe a lotout of control?
Well, I think it starts byremembering a few timeless
things, the things that used towork, and getting back to what
we all need the most.
(14:01):
First, let's start withconnection.
Arthur Josh McDowell said itbest.
Rules without relationship leadto rebellion.
Kids listen to people they feelsafe with.
When kids feel seen and valued,they don't just obey, they
respond because they want to.
Second, be consistent, notperfect.
Consistency builds trust.
(14:23):
Perfection builds pressure.
Third, model self-control.
Your tone and reactions teachmore than your words ever will.
As I often remind parents, ourchildren are shaped more by our
weaknesses than our lectures.
Fourth, let your kids struggle alittle bit.
That's where resilience is born,not from guilt or rescue, but
(14:46):
from failing and figuring thingsout.
As somebody once said, never dofor your child anything they can
do for themselves.
There's too many bad messagesimplicit in that.
You're not good enough, you'renot strong enough, you're not
capable.
And that's how confidence growsis by letting them fail.
And finally, rebuild community.
We're not meant to do thisalone.
(15:08):
Surround your family with otherhealthy voices, friends,
mentors, pastors, neighbors,whoever.
People that you trust who canspeak truth, wisdom, and
encouragement into your kids'lives, not just strangers on
social media.
Because the goal isn't to raisecompliant kids, it's to raise
self-governing adults, the kindwho choose what's right even
(15:29):
when nobody's looking.
And maybe that's where it allstarts for us too: choosing
connection over control, courageover fear, and community over
isolation.
Basic human needs that we allhave.
Thanks for checking us out onthe Unscripted Mind today.
If you found this episodehelpful, share it with somebody
who might need it.
Also, please subscribe, followus, leave a review, and if you
(15:52):
have any questions or topicsyou'd like us to cover, please
include that also.
Until next time, remember, lifedoesn't come with a script.
So embrace the unexpected,cherish the unplanned, always
stay curious, and have anamazing day.
We'll see you next time on theUnscripted Mind.
Do you ever find yourself thinking, why don't my
(00:02):
kids listen anymore?
Or maybe it didn't seem thishard for my parents or my
teachers or even the police backthen.
Well, I don't think you'reimagining it.
Something has shifted.
Parenting has changed, and so isthe whole landscape of
authority.
Teachers say students argueevery point of a grade.
Police talk about teens who filmtraffic stops just to go viral.
(00:23):
Even coaches and pastors tell methey're walking on eggshells
sometimes to try not to offendanyone.
Somewhere along the way, respectstopped being assumed and
started being negotiated.
The world our kids are growingup in looks nothing like the one
we did.
They've got instant access toinformation, opinions, and
influencers, all who say thesame thing.
(00:44):
No one gets to tell you what todo.
So if you've ever felt like yourauthority at home, in the
classroom, or anywhere else isslowly slipping away, maybe this
episode's just for you.
Today we're unpacking seven waysparenting and authority have
changed in just one generationand what you can do to stay
(01:04):
connected and confident throughit all.
On this episode of theUnscripted Mind.
Welcome to the Unscripted Mind,where our goal is to give you
fresh perspectives, practicalinsights, and tools you can use
to give you more choices,increase your awareness, and
(01:27):
have better control of yourfeelings, reactions, and
behaviors.
I'm Jim Cunningham.
I'm a licensed professionalcounselor, and today we're
unpacking something everyparent, and honestly every
teacher, coach, and leader hasprobably felt the sense that the
world isn't listening the way itused to.
We're going to look at whyparenting feels harder today,
(01:47):
what's changed in how kids seeauthority, and how you can start
rebuilding influence, not withpower plays or punishment, but
with calm, consistency, andconnection.
So let's start with one of thebiggest challenges and the
biggest changes.
The shift from authority toequality in parenting.
So if you grew up in the 80s orthe 90s, you probably remember
(02:10):
hearing because I said so.
That was the end of thediscussion.
Today it starts one.
We've shifted from a world whereauthority was automatic to one
where it has to be earnedrelationally, quote unquote
earned.
A 2023 survey from Talk Researchfound that nearly 70% of parents
identify as cycle breakers.
(02:31):
That is, they're trying to healgenerational patterns with more
empathy and emotional openness.
On the positive sides, kidsprobably feel more valued and
heard.
They grow up with voices andthey feel confident.
On the negative side, the linesget a little bit blurry.
Kids start to see parents asequals, not leaders, and
authority starts to becomenegotiable.
(02:53):
Dr.
Charles Fay of Love and LogicFame put it this way Children
don't rebel against limits, theyrebel against inconsistent or
fearful leadership.
So maybe the real goal isn't tobe a friend or a dictator, it's
to be calm, confident.
A leader who can both berelational and responsible.
(03:13):
Here's one of the sneakiest andmost insidious shifts in
parenting today.
The culture, and I meanvirtually all aspects of it
around us, no longer has parentsback.
Think about it.
In past decades, your child's TVshow, your neighbor, your
teacher all reinforced the samemessage.
The parents are in charge.
(03:34):
Today, well, that story isreversed.
As Golden Newfeld pointed out,advertisers now depict parents
as neglectful, incompetent,abusive, invisible, or
embarrassing in order to givethe children more buying power
and influence.
Again, remember, they wereinterviewing uh marketing CEOs.
This isn't new though.
(03:55):
This has gotten a lot worse init and very insidious in a lot
of different areas.
A study of 34 top-rated sitcomsfrom 1980 to 2017 found that
fathers were depicted as, quote,humorously foolish in over 50%
of all the relevant scenes inthe 2000s and 2010s, compared
with just 18% in the 1980s.
(04:17):
The positive side of thiscultural shift is important.
I mean, children are learning toquestion authority, to perhaps
think more critically, to valuefairness, not just obedience,
and that's necessary in acomplex world.
But the negative side?
Well, when every cultural cue,from commercials to social media
to streaming influencers, saythe parent is optional or out of
(04:39):
step, then obedience, respect,leadership, well, they get
undermined.
Of course, the irony here isthat strangers, people our kids
have never met, are often givenmore unilateral credibility,
authority, and respect thanparents.
And there's more.
Research in the Netherlandsfound that parents who feel less
(05:00):
confident or lack partnersupport are more likely to hand
over media devices to modifybehavior or just to act as a
babysitter.
That means media isn't justsending the message, it's
helping parents relinquishcontrol.
The piece we can't ignore, Idon't think authority has
vanished, but I think it hasshifted from being given to
(05:21):
being earned.
If culture is telling your kidsleadership doesn't matter, then
we have to find a way to buildit day by day, not just through
rules, but through our tone, ourpresence, our follow-through,
and our connection.
Sometimes that means not lettingour own use of technology
interfere with our time with ourkids.
So let's move on.
(05:43):
And let's be honest, right?
Technology has changed theparenting game completely.
When we were kids, boredom was apart of life.
There were virtually no screens,or at least none, or very few
that were even worth spendingtime watching.
The excitement was beingoutside, being with our friends,
doing things.
Now every spare second is filledwith a screen.
(06:03):
According to the AmericanPsychological Association,
children's ability to delaygratification has declined
significantly since the 1980s.
Why?
Well, because constantstimulation rewires the brain to
expect immediate rewards.
That's called dopamine, and it'svery different than serotonin.
Dopamine is that spike you getwhen you get that like when the
(06:26):
slot machine pays off.
Serotonin is different in thesense that it is a continual
sense that everything is goingto be okay.
So dopamine is something thatpeople chase, and dopamine
doesn't want the Dorito, itwants the whole bag.
And so we're always chasing insome ways the dragon, right?
We're always looking for thatnext hit.
And that is addictive in a lotof ways.
(06:48):
So what's the positive side ofall this?
Well, kids have unlimited accessto learning and creative tools.
They can code, they can composemusic, they can learn languages
from home.
The downside?
Well, they tend to struggle totolerate boredom or manage
delayed gratification, skillsthat are essential to building
resilience.
As Johann Hari argues in hisbook Stolen Focus, our minds are
(07:12):
being fired at point blank withinformation, and our ability to
sustain concentration iscollapsing under that weight.
He notes that the first 12 majorcauses is the increase in speed,
switching, and filtering.
In other words, constantmultitasking and
overstimulation.
Things you don't get from doingmath homework.
(07:33):
There is no instant payoff forthat.
There's no quick feedback loopfor that.
This perspective helps us seethat when our kids struggle to
wait or to tolerate boredom,we're not just dealing with poor
behavior.
We're dealing with brains shapedby a world of distraction and
instant feedback.
So when your child says fivemore minutes, you're not just
(07:55):
battling defiance.
You're up against brainchemistry, chasing the dragon.
The solution isn't no screens,it's balance.
Build intentional quiet timewhere the brain can reset.
This leads us to a couple morechallenges, right?
How do we get rid of the screensfrom parents who arguably today
are more emotionally focusedthan any generation before us?
(08:17):
And that can be a beautifulthing.
But with awareness came a newburden guilt.
We don't want our kids to hateus, so we negotiate every limit.
Okay, five more minutes.
Does that sound familiar?
Now, on the positive side,empathy teaches children
emotional intelligence.
They learn that feelings matter.
The downside, feelings oftenreplace reality.
(08:41):
There are things that we have todo, and it really doesn't matter
how we feel about it.
We gotta get up and go to work.
Developmental specialist Dr.
Laura Markham says, when weshield children from discomfort,
we rob them of the chance tobuild coping skills.
Also, if every boundary moves,kids develop low frustration
tolerance and confuse love withleniency.
(09:04):
Remember, clear and consistentboundaries provide a sense of
security.
If you think about a lamb and apen, the pen and the fence keep
him contained.
But it on the flip side it alsokeeps him safe because not only
does it not let him go otherplaces, it also keeps other
things out.
So setting limits is not beingharsh.
(09:24):
It's an act of love in manyways.
Structure and warmth cancoexist, and when they do, kids
feel safe enough to grow.
And speaking of structure andconnection, remember family
dinners without phones?
If you can remember that farback, uh we used to watch
parents talk, disagree, make up.
(09:44):
That's how we learned empathy,social cues, appropriate
relational dynamics, by watchingfaces, not screens.
A University of Michigan studyfound that empathy in young
adults has declined by more than40% since the early 2000s.
Researchers link it to reducedface-to-face interaction.
Now, the upside, technology letskids connect with diverse
(10:08):
perspectives and cultures.
That's great.
But the downside is they losepractice reading body language,
facial cues, and tone, thebuilding blocks of emotional
intelligence.
Psychologist Albert Bandurafamously said, children learn
more from what you are than whatyou teach.
In other words, your presence isthe curriculum.
(10:30):
So put down the phone sometimes.
Not to be perfect, but to bepresent.
And the more models kids have,the better.
This takes us into the communitypart of this.
Because in the past, familieswere part of a village, literal
ones.
Grandparents lived down thestreet, neighbors looked out for
each other, and politics didn'tget in the way of that.
(10:51):
We cared about each otherbecause we actually knew each
other.
Today most parents are doingthis alone or with both parents
working full-time.
Now, the positive thing is kidsgrow up independent and
adaptable in many cases.
The downside is they miss thesteady reinforcement of shared
values from other adults andtheir experiences, their
(11:13):
stories.
Instead, they get their moralsfrom peers and influencers
online, and as I said before,many of which they've never even
met.
Researcher Dr.
Brene Brown once said, belongingisn't about fitting in.
It's about being seen for whoyou are and still being
accepted.
Kids learn that first in thecommunity, not online.
(11:34):
So rebuild yours.
Find families that share yourvalues, reestablish a faith
community, invite mentors intoyour child's world because it
does take a village.
And finally, there's thiselement of what's driving
parents.
And I think there's a commonthread that I see a lot these
days, and it's parenting beingruled by fear.
(11:56):
We're afraid our kids aregetting hurt, they're falling
behind, being judged on socialmedia, or just being judged by
other parents.
Now, the positive side is thatawareness can make us empathetic
and reflective.
It can also paralyze us.
When kids see us hesitate, theyinterpret it as uncertainty, and
uncertainty feels unsafe.
(12:17):
Remember, kids are greatobservers, but they make
horrible interpreters.
Studies show that children whofeel secure in their
relationship with parents aremore likely to explore their
environments confidently anddevelop healthy coping
mechanisms.
As Dr.
Charles Fay says, children needcalm, confident leaders more
than they need perfect ones.
(12:37):
So confidence isn't aboutknowing everything, it's about
being consistent in what you doknow.
Kids don't need you to be rightevery time.
They need you to be steady.
So a quick recap of thesetakeaways.
Then versus now.
Authority back in the 80s and90s, very top-down, positional,
hierarchical.
Today, very relational andearned.
(13:00):
Discipline.
The rules used to be very clearand firm follow-through was
expected.
Now the limits are negotiated.
Technology back in the day,minimal exposure.
Now constant stimulation.
Community back in the day sharedmoral messages.
Now a lot of conflicting voicesare out there.
(13:20):
Back in the day, parent mindsetwas very confident, sometimes
rigid, now very empathetic andoften anxious.
The result?
Well, back in the day, obediencecame through fear for good
reason.
Today it's all about resistancethrough freedom.
Now, I wouldn't say that eitherera was perfect.
(13:41):
The sweet spot is probablycombining the structure of then
with the empathy of now.
And we can talk about some waysto do that.
So how do we reclaim influencein a world that feels a little
out of control, or maybe a lotout of control?
Well, I think it starts byremembering a few timeless
things, the things that used towork, and getting back to what
we all need the most.
(14:01):
First, let's start withconnection.
Arthur Josh McDowell said itbest.
Rules without relationship leadto rebellion.
Kids listen to people they feelsafe with.
When kids feel seen and valued,they don't just obey, they
respond because they want to.
Second, be consistent, notperfect.
Consistency builds trust.
(14:23):
Perfection builds pressure.
Third, model self-control.
Your tone and reactions teachmore than your words ever will.
As I often remind parents, ourchildren are shaped more by our
weaknesses than our lectures.
Fourth, let your kids struggle alittle bit.
That's where resilience is born,not from guilt or rescue, but
(14:46):
from failing and figuring thingsout.
As somebody once said, never dofor your child anything they can
do for themselves.
There's too many bad messagesimplicit in that.
You're not good enough, you'renot strong enough, you're not
capable.
And that's how confidence growsis by letting them fail.
And finally, rebuild community.
We're not meant to do thisalone.
(15:08):
Surround your family with otherhealthy voices, friends,
mentors, pastors, neighbors,whoever.
People that you trust who canspeak truth, wisdom, and
encouragement into your kids'lives, not just strangers on
social media.
Because the goal isn't to raisecompliant kids, it's to raise
self-governing adults, the kindwho choose what's right even
(15:29):
when nobody's looking.
And maybe that's where it allstarts for us too: choosing
connection over control, courageover fear, and community over
isolation.
Basic human needs that we allhave.
Thanks for checking us out onthe Unscripted Mind today.
If you found this episodehelpful, share it with somebody
who might need it.
Also, please subscribe, followus, leave a review, and if you
(15:52):
have any questions or topicsyou'd like us to cover, please
include that also.
Until next time, remember, lifedoesn't come with a script.
So embrace the unexpected,cherish the unplanned, always
stay curious, and have anamazing day.
We'll see you next time on theUnscripted Mind.
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