October 21, 2024 • 42 mins
Episode Summary:
In this powerful episode of Urban Grief Shamans, host John Moir sits down with Betti Rooted Lionheart, a compassionate shamanic healer and spiritual empowerment advocate, to explore the profound connection between grief, ritual, and healing. Betti shares her journey of reclaiming lost parts of herself, overcoming deep despair, and discovering the transformative power of shamanic healing and community rituals. Through personal stories, Betti reveals how grief manifests not only in the loss of loved ones but also in the loss of ecosystems, species, and cultural traditions.
Betti describes her own initiation into shamanic practices and how communal grief rituals, such as the Wailing Circle, help people release trauma and reconnect with their authentic selves. She shares the deeply moving story of her mother’s death and the spiritual realizations that emerged from walking with death. Betti also highlights the role of ritual in healing the soul and the body, illustrating how the power of voice, movement, and communal energy can lead to profound emotional and spiritual transformation. Betti's webpage can be found here.
What's a dismemberment journey? In this episode, Betti Rooted Lionheart mentioned having a dismemberment. Here is a brief description for our listeners who wish to know more. In shamanic practice, dismemberment is a form of initiation that can happen voluntarily or spontaneously. For example, a crisis or illness may initiate someone, while others might experience this through a course that reveals their shamanic potential. Dismemberment involves a symbolic tearing apart of the self, often in spirit journeys, where animals or other forces dismantle the body. This process strips away the ego, leading to a rebirth of identity. Those who undergo dismemberment often have a more profound sense of self, greater alignment of body and soul, improved health, and a more explicit connection to their soul’s purpose.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
John Moir (00:03):
We grieve our changing world because we are
witnessing the loss of more thanjust habitats.
We are losing cultures,languages and a way of life that
has sustained First Nationspeople for centuries.
As natural landscapes arealtered or destroyed, so too are
the traditions, stories andwisdom tied to them.
Indigenous cultures deeplyrooted in the land face a unique
(00:26):
kind of grief as sacred spacesvanish and languages, vessels of
identity and knowledge, areincreasingly endangered.
This loss reminds us that thehealth of the earth and the
richness of human diversity isintimately connected.
By honoring and learning fromthe First Nation peoples, we can
support efforts to revitalizelanguages and protect sacred
(00:48):
lands.
Through individual andcollective action, reducing our
environmental footprint,advocating for policies that
protect the earth and supportingthis right, we can help heal
the wounds of our planet andpreserve the cultural and
natural heritage we all share.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (01:05):
wounds of our planet and preserve the
cultural and natural heritage weall share.
What I need is for the peoplewho loved my mother to come
together outside around a fireand scream and cry and wail and
move our bodies and pound thedirt, and just this vision of
(01:26):
the way our ancestors did it,the way our ancestors would come
together, the tribe or thevillage, around the fire and
move the trauma, move the griefthrough our bodies together.
John Moir (01:44):
Our guest is a shamanic healer who shares her
journey about the power ofreclaiming lost parts of
ourselves while moving throughdeep despair and the use of
communal rituals to releasegrief and trauma.
Through her personalexperiences, she reveals how
shamanic healing offers hope,purpose and a deeper connection
to the divine.
Welcome back.
(02:06):
Thank you for listening to theUrban Grief Shamans and I'm your
host, john Moyer.
Betti Rooted Lionhear (02:11):
Receiving that soul part back was a
foundational piece in helping memove away from living in
despair.
I had something greater thanmyself to rely upon.
John Moir (02:30):
This is our guest,
Betti Rooted Lionheart (02:31):
Biddy
John Moir (02:32):
Rooted Lionheart, a compassionate shamanic healer,
spiritual empowerment advocateand a fire weaver.
Her work is all about helpingothers reconnect with their true
selves and healing, supportedthrough community and ritual.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (02:47):
Let me start with a bit of a story to
illustrate the journey, with thegrief and despair.
I trace it to about seven yearsold, when I went on a camping
trip with my cousin.
Her family had a motor home.
We were living in SouthernCalifornia at the time and
(03:07):
periodically they would takemyself and my sister on camping
trips with them and somewhere inCalifornia or the desert
southwest.
I have a cousin who's my ageand on one of these camping
trips she and I were hanging outin the back top bunk of those
old motorhomes.
(03:28):
Her dad loved to take pictures.
He had one of those old thiswas almost 40 years ago the big
cameras with the big lenses, andso we saw him doing that all
the time, and so we werepretending to take pictures.
We had little jewelry boxesjust yay, big, and we had put a
sticker on top and the stickerwas the shutter button that we
(03:49):
would hold these up and we wouldpush on the sticker and that
would take a picture.
And she had a stack of cards.
They were endangered speciescards and so those were the
pictures that we were takingright, so we could take a
picture and we had this actualphotograph, this card.
That is what we just createdand I didn't know before that
(04:11):
time what an endangered specieswas.
So that was my introduction toendangered species and I
remember one of those cards theocelot, the small wild cat of
Central and South America.
I am a cat person, I've alwaysbeen a cat person.
We always had cats growing upand the fact that beautiful wild
(04:34):
cat might cease to exist reallydeeply impacted me.
That was my first.
That was when I woke up to whathumans were doing to the planet
.
That was my introduction andfrom there I just kept seeking
it out and living with despair.
(04:56):
So I was saying that grief, ifgrief is a deep sadness, despair
is a deep sadness, but layeredonto that is the how can I live
with it?
John Moir (05:09):
You're talking about control and loss of control and
you feel like you can't doanything about it.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (05:14):
Maybe because, yes, particularly at
such a young age, feeling like Icouldn't do anything about it.
I couldn't do anything about it.
Yes, and so my who I am, thelife that I've lived, has been a
constant search for how can Ido something about it?
How can I make a difference?
(05:35):
How can I help stop speciesfrom going extinct?
How can I help stop forestsfrom getting leveled, going
extinct?
How can I help stop forestsfrom getting leveled?
So that's probably a fairlygood description of who I am and
how I got to be who I am.
John Moir (05:53):
It was really a pivotal moment, wasn't it?
To that realization that thesethings happen to wildlife and
wild spaces in our world, in ourbackyards, that we have no
control over wild spaces in ourworld, in our backyards, that we
have no control over Readingyour material.
It seemed like it was a hugeinfluence in the direction of
(06:13):
your life and that grief evolvedas you learned more about the
state of the earth.
I got from that.
So that journey of that firstrealization, of this big grief
and despair, how did thatjourney unfold for you?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (06:28):
It unfolded such that I felt as an
adolescent in high school.
I felt very much alone.
I didn't have any adult mentors.
I didn't talk to my friendsabout how I was feeling.
What I did was just readvoraciously and listened to NPR
(06:51):
all the time, right Just takingit in.
In one of my recent shamanicjourney, I was shown that from a
very young age and still tothis day, I've been like an
antenna for the pain of theworld, and I'm of course not the
only one.
There are other people like mewho are very aware, very
sensitive to what's happening tothe earth, to the cries of the
(07:25):
earthend it aside, and it's notan easy thing to live with.
John Moir (07:33):
The way you describe that is.
I came across an interestingfellow who was a big influence
for me.
It was Francis Weller and hewrote this book.
It's about grief.
It's called the Wild Edge ofSorrow and he describes five
different gates that griefenters us, and one of it is the
grief of the world, and I was ina workshop with him at that
(07:54):
time.
I was grieving because myfather had abandoned me.
There were several women in mygroup.
Their grief was heavy and itwas all about the loss of
species.
Heavy and it was all about theloss of species.
I was taken aback by theirintensity.
No difference between whatgrief we're carrying.
They were just as powerful ascoming from an outside source
(08:16):
into them.
As you describe the grief thatyou carry, you're picking up the
grief of the world or thechanges in the world.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (08:24):
Yeah, I think of it as the grief of the
world, or the changes in theworld.
Yeah, I think of it as thegrief of the collective.
John Moir (08:30):
We're both shamanic practitioners.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (08:33):
You and I.
John Moir (08:35):
And I'm wondering if you could bring that part into
our conversation here.
We'll flip back and forth, butI'd just like to know a little
bit more about that, more so forour listeners, because so many
of them aren't shamanic people,but exploring the idea of
perhaps living in a shamaniclifestyle and certainly using
(08:59):
shamanic sensibilities to helpthem through their grief and so
share with us.
How did you get into it?
Give us some of your backgroundand the type of shamanism that
you practice daily.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (09:15):
Yeah, I would love to.
Oh, let's see.
I'll answer the.
How did I get into it?
First, and I guess, just to keeppulling on the thread of the
story, I went from studyingagriculture to wanting to learn
how to grow food without poison,went to an organic agriculture
training program.
That's where I met the fatherof my children and came up with
(09:38):
this dream of creating afarm-based, intentional
community that could survive thecollapse of the systems that we
rely on.
So we landed in New York Stateon 105 acres to create this
dream, and those were the worst,hardest years of my life, and
(10:01):
we weren't able to make the farmwork life and we weren't able
to make the farm work, weweren't able to create the
community.
And at the beginning of 2015, Ijust I landed in the deepest,
darkest pit in my life.
I hit barter and we hadrecognized that we had to give
up on the dream of the farm andit was time to figure out how to
(10:26):
make a living, how to supportour kids, how to be able to feed
our kids in the world that welive in, without living in that
very different way that Idesperately wanted to live and
wanted to raise my kids in avery different way and in a very
(11:06):
different way, and so whatended up happening is, I
stumbled across a flyer for ashamanic ancestral workshop in
the local food co-op here, andthe reason I picked the flyer up
wasn't anything to do withshamanism.
I didn't know what that was.
He said that the Church ofEarth Healing.
That's what I needed to knowabout, and when I finally did
call the number on the flyer andgot a woman on the phone, we
decided to meet.
It turned out she lived in thisarea and she was a shamanic
healer and she had a shamanicjourney circle, and so I
(11:27):
immediately joined the circle.
Within a month of that, she wasteaching her workshop, in which
she teaches people to shamanicjourney.
In the space of two days, Ilearned how to shamanic journey,
and that was just it for me.
That was the thing that I'dbeen searching for my whole life
, even though I didn't know thatI had been looking.
(11:49):
I'd been raised Roman Catholic.
John Moir (11:51):
That really didn't fit well with me, so what did
you do in between that middlepart, before you went through
the door?
So you knew that your religioussystem that you grew up with is
not holding you well, but youhadn't quite reached into the
shamanic area.
Was there a gray area where youjust were lost?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (12:14):
The lostness in my life had to do
with the despair for the earth,not for lack of a religion to
lean on, though from where I sitnow, certainly not having
something spiritual to hold onto was part of the despair.
I didn't know that at the time.
I do know that now I continuedto have to go to church for a
(12:38):
while, or even if my mom didn'trequire it periodically, just to
show her that I loved her right, it wasn't just a complete
break.
At a certain point I realizedthat, oh, I probably would lean
more pagan.
I probably.
(12:58):
I knew for several years beforelearning the shamanic journey,
at least a decade beforelearning the shamanic journey,
at least a decade that I wantedto honor the moon in some way,
but I didn't.
My energy never got put in thatdirection.
I never sought out much readingon it.
I never sought out people toinvestigate that with.
(13:21):
I guess probably because I wasin those years of my life of
trying to figure out how I wasgoing to make a difference,
being in university and then atthat farming program and then
falling in love and then havingkids.
There just wasn't ever a timefor me to focus on that.
(13:42):
But I do.
I guess I'll share this story.
It's coming up to share that in2006, my now ex-husband and I
were living on a goat dairy inRio Vista, california, and I
decided, okay, I'm going to.
It was a full moon.
I decided I'm going to go outand do something to on moon.
So I even tried to dress up ina way that I thought was witchy
(14:06):
or something, with flowingskirts and I don't remember what
and I went out into a field onthis goat farm and there was,
the moon was up in the sky.
There was a cat that lived onthis farm that I had been
friendly with.
I left cats.
I already said that.
But when I went out to do thismoon ritual, to just make
(14:28):
something up, I had no idea whatI was doing.
That cat came out and startedattacking the skirt that I was
wearing and my legs and I endedup having to retreat into the
house to get away from this catand I just took that as a omen
and I guess I wasn't supposed todo that and so I didn't.
(14:50):
That one little attempt wasn'tfollowed by any other attempts.
That was 2006.
I found my shamanic teacher andlearned to shamanic journey in
2016.
So there was that decade ofknowing that I wanted to honor
the moon, but not doing anythingabout it how did that path
(15:11):
intersect with your teacher?
John Moir (15:12):
How did that come about?
Why that particular person?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (15:16):
Because of the Church of Earth Healing.
I had never seen those wordsput together.
And then, when I met her, sheshared with me that she had also
lived with deep pain for theearth and had lived her life
(15:38):
trying to make a difference, aspiritual difference, and she
had lived her life off the grid,close to the land, growing her
own food, growing her ownmedicines, and so there was just
a lot of resonance there.
And she lives 20 minutes awayfrom me and this was before
(16:03):
everything was done on Zoomright.
John Moir (16:07):
Did it feel?
Was it a very comfortablefeeling being in her space when
you first met?
Were you shy or did you feellike you came home?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (16:11):
I would say I felt like I came home.
Yeah, I am a very shy person,but I felt like I had come home.
John Moir (16:20):
Now, I guess that's perhaps one of the first
shamanic teachings is you haveto dream the existence that you
want to be in place you have todream that into being, and does
that resonate with you thatthose are the first steps of
this dream, that you've createdthis reality that you're
building for yourself with yourproperty, and you're just even
(16:44):
the fact that you're becoming ashamanic, that you are a
shamanic teacher?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (16:47):
Yes, yeah, we do need to dream into
being the life that we want.
But we can't just dream, wehave to take action.
And for me, I would add to that, I have to be connected to
spirit and connected to myself.
(17:08):
Have to be connected to spiritand connected to myself and
living as aligned with my valuesas I can.
There are a lot of my valuesthat I'm not, in this moment,
able to live aligned withMaterially.
I live prettymiddle-of-the-road American
consumer life is what has comeof my life and that's not what I
(17:33):
wanted at all.
That's not what I was dreamingfor many years before we landed
here to try to do somethingdifferently.
So I've had to make peace withthat reality.
But my life is very spirituallyfocused.
My life revolves around myspiritual connection and I'm
(17:55):
able to live with that right now.
I still want to and I'm stilltaking the actions to create
something different, but thatdoes sustain me for now.
John Moir (18:05):
As you were moving along your shamanic path.
Were there any difficultiesthat you came across, in a way,
of the teachings that you weregiven, the practices that you
were given, perhaps some of therituals?
Was there any big jolts to yoursoul, to your system, that you
weren't expecting?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (18:23):
That were difficult specifically.
John Moir (18:25):
Yeah, that it took a big effort to reach up into it,
so to speak.
I'm thinking of when a dooropens for us, we always have
that opportunity to go throughit.
So it means that there has tobe a death before there's a new
beginning, metaphorically, and Iwas just wondering if you
yourself had what kind of deathsor mini-deaths that you might
have gone through to become whoyou are now.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (18:49):
That's an interesting question.
Oh, so many deaths, so many, somany dismemberment experiences.
But let me see if I can dropinto something more specific or
see what story wants to come up.
I guess what's coming up isthat I did not have trouble or
(19:17):
struggle with the ritual aspectof it little rituals.
My earliest ritual was to justdaily in the morning light, a
(19:38):
candle burn a little sage tohonor Grandmother Moan.
What became a bit of a strugglea bit further down the line was
just how many rituals I wastrying to keep up with.
It took me a little while tounderstand that each time a new
(19:59):
ritual was given to me, itwasn't necessarily being layered
on top of 10 or 100 otherrituals.
I could begin to let some ofthe other ones fade out to more
completely step into the new one.
I didn't realize that rightaway.
So there was a period of timewhere I was like how am I
(20:21):
supposed to keep up with all ofthese many rituals and still
keep up with the day-to-day?
John Moir (20:27):
Were they like stepping stones or steps as you
became more spiritually healed,more integrated with spirit?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (20:37):
Yes, yeah, a lot of the rituals that
I work with are part of theintegration process for healings
that I've experienced, processfor healings that I've
experienced.
So, for example, in receiving asoul part back I should explain
that probably just a little bitthat in the shamanic worldview,
(20:58):
in moments of trauma and it canbe big trauma or small trauma we
lose pieces of our soul, a partof ourselves that can't cope
with what's happening, leaves,and so we become less and less
whole.
I believe probably every humanon this planet has had some soul
loss, probably significant soulloss.
(21:19):
We live in a very traumatizingtime.
We can, our spirit guides canfind those pieces that have been
lost.
They can heal them and they cangive them back to us and then
the energy of that healed soulpart we need to actively
incorporate into ourselves.
(21:41):
And so a lot of the rituals areto help do that incorporation
work, to help keep that piece ofhealing in mind.
So, for example, often for meit would be wearing a particular
necklace to remind me of a soulpart, and then I'm wearing
three necklaces all the time, orfive necklaces all the time or
(22:03):
that kind of thing.
At a certain point you don'tnecessarily want to be wearing
10 or 20 necklaces all the time.
That's just one little example.
John Moir (22:13):
Yes.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (22:14):
Yeah, and I guess I'd like to share
that.
One of the earliest soulretrievals that I received from
my teacher was a seven-year-oldsoul part, old soul part.
It was that seven-year-old selfthat learned about the
(22:35):
endangered species and felt sodeeply for that ocelot.
And receiving that soul partback as would have been in 2016,
was a foundational piece inhelping me move away from living
in despair.
I no longer live in despaironce I found this shamanic
(22:56):
spiritual path, once I hadsomething greater than myself to
rely upon, to go to understandhow to live my life, to begin to
understand why am I on thisplanet?
How am I supposed to make adifference?
That's what I had been lookingfor my whole life.
So this spiritual path led meto that.
(23:20):
Getting that soul part back andstarting to have my own
spiritual connection andstarting to understand why I'm
here and why I'm here is to be ashamanic healer and is to
connect people with their owndirect connection to the divine.
That all of that has helped meno longer live in that despair,
(23:43):
no longer live in that place ofdeep grief layered with the how
can I live with this, and partof the definition of despair is
having a lack of hope, and somoving away from that lack of
hope, moving into a space ofhopefulness, has made such a
(24:08):
huge difference in my life andit has brought me to this place
where, actually, in 2016, Ibegan I also, in 2016, found the
work that reconnects, which wasdeveloped by Joanna Macy and
her colleague, starting in 1978,which was the year that I was
born, but I was 37 before Idiscovered it.
(24:31):
And once I discovered it, I waslike how could I possibly have
not known about this, the workthat reconnects, in this amazing
group process bringing peopletogether to share our grief and
despair for the earth to bewitnessed.
It's amazing to be witnessed.
It's amazing to witness others.
It's very transformational,going from feeling like I'm
(24:56):
alone in this to, and steppedinto, had a very spiritual
experience in one of theserituals, in one of these
(25:17):
workshops, one of these deepgrief rituals that was like a
baptism, into now holding,offering this, holding these
workshops myself.
So, in 2016, holding, offeringthis, holding these workshops
myself.
So in 2016, I began doing thatand I should say I also received
a sole part back to do with myvoice, which allowed me to step
(25:38):
into leading workshops, because,when I was in high school.
I have very specific memory ofstanding in front of the class.
I don't know what I wassupposed to be delivering,
shaking and practicallystuttering.
Being in front of a group ofpeople not my comfort zone.
Receiving that soul part backto do with my voice totally
(26:01):
changed that for me.
I very quickly, like withinmonths of that, was standing in
front of small groups of peoplefacilitating this very deep
process.
John Moir (26:14):
It's a nice segue into the question about your
wailing circles, so share yourexperience and perhaps how the
wailingcles have helped others.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (26:30):
If you have a few stories that you
could share, I do, and I want tostart that by sharing the story
of my mother's death, becausethe Wailing Circle came for me
from my mother's death.
So in 2022, on May 13th of 2022, I got the phone call and my
(26:52):
mom had a stroke.
She was still alive.
He was at the hospital.
The prognosis at that point wasthat she might survive but be
half paralyzed, and so as soonas I got off the phone, of
course I'm a shamanic healer.
I am going to try to dosomething to help.
(27:15):
I'm going to try to heal my mom.
So I went into a shamanicjourney and I went with my
spirit guides to her hospitalroom.
I sometimes, if the issue I'mdealing with is physical, I turn
into a black bear, and so I did.
(27:35):
I turned into a black bear.
I stood behind her head not thehead of her bed at her head and
I put my bear paws on her headand she immediately said take
your hands off my head and standback.
(27:55):
And I'm getting a little bitteary about it right now,
because it was just so clearTake your hands off of my head
and stand back.
He did not want to fix this andof course I did.
I stood back.
She made it clear that I couldbe there, I can be supporting
(28:18):
her, I can be giving her love.
But we were not going to fixthis.
And that was a Friday and shehad another stroke.
I think it was into the nighton Friday.
(28:45):
And Saturday morning is when mydad and my sister decided to
take her off of all life supportexcept for just not forced air
but just passive air at her nose.
And I am so glad that I didthat journey because it gave me
so much peace.
It let me know that this waswhat she wanted.
Mom's greatest fears was beinghalf paralyzed or losing her
(29:13):
cognition and living for decadeswithout knowing her loved ones.
She had those two very specificfears about aging and her own
death process.
She was a go-go-do.
She did not want to have tostick around in the body with
(29:33):
only use of half one arm and oneleg.
So I know that she was live inNew York State.
My parents live in Florida.
I flew to Florida.
I was able to spend the last twodays of her life with her at
(29:58):
her bedside, listening to thelabored breathing.
I knew the moment the breathingchanged and she was moving into
the last few minutes, the lastfew breaths.
But I do want to say thatbefore that she was in hospice
and this hospice had a beautifullittle courtyard garden.
It was really an amazinghealing for her to help her be
(30:22):
that much further along when shegets to the other side to cross
over.
And I've been given a death songby my spirit guides, so I would
(30:46):
sit at her bedside and singthat song, spirit guides, so I
would sit at her bedside andsing that song.
And at a certain point and Iwant to say too that this was my
first experience of what myspirit guides call walking with
death I had known before thisthat walking with death is part
of what I'm being called to do,but I'd never done it before and
(31:06):
it's fairly profound to havedone it with my own mother.
At a certain point in thisprocess of me trying to pull out
all of my shamanic skills andmake a difference, I realized
this isn't about me, this is herprocess and it's not for me.
(31:27):
It doesn't harm anything for meto be doing these things, but
it's not about that.
It's about me being presentwith her and holding space and
just walking with her death, andthat was a big learning that
I'm really grateful to have.
John Moir (31:45):
It's a powerful teaching to have that
realization that it's not aboutjust step out of way step away?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (31:53):
yes, and because I'm a shamanic healer,
because I have a relationshipwith the spirit world, with my
spirit guides, because I'vethought for many years very
differently about death, thisculture and when I say this
(32:13):
culture, I a white American andwe have a very unhealthy concept
relationship with death we wantto pretend that it doesn't
exist.
We don't have to me, we don'thave adequate rituals to deal
with death, not for those thatremain living, not for those
who've died.
(32:33):
My mom had a Catholic memorialmass, which is what she needed,
but it's not what I needed.
My dad and my sister and mybrother were all really shocked
and really, really despairing.
I would say like really in thatplace of no hope.
And how do I live with this?
(32:53):
And I wasn't.
I'd been expecting something tohappen to one of my parents for
quite a while and I'm just sosteeped in spirituality and what
I would like death and a ritualaround death to look like.
(33:14):
So I was able to be a solidpillar for my family in their
grief and in their despair whenwe were in this Catholic
memorial mass, which is what mymom needed and not what I needed
I was sitting there just reallythinking like this is so not
what I need.
What I need is for the peoplewho loved my mother to come
(33:37):
together outside around a fireand scream and cry and wail and
move our bodies and pound thedirt and just this vision of the
way our ancestors did it, theway our ancestors would come
(33:59):
together, the tribe or thevillage, around the fire and
move the trauma, move the griefthrough our bodies together.
That's where the whaling circlecomes from for me, and so I
(34:26):
knew that that vision had beengiven to me so that I would
create it, and I had been.
I mentioned starting in 2016with the work that reconnects,
facilitating those workshops.
Through that process, I met awoman who attended two of my
workshops, who then partneredwith me to create what we've
(34:47):
been calling the Despair andDiscovery Circle, and that had a
core group of people.
When I came home from Florida in2022, after my mom's death, I
spoke to my friend who held theDespair and Discovery Circle
(35:08):
with me and shared this vision Ihad for something that was
slightly similar but way moredeep and profound, and so she
and one other woman from thedespair circle and I came
together around a fire and thatwas the first try.
(35:28):
Right.
We had a very small circle andexperience of it.
Of course we weren't able tocap into creating that vision,
but it was a start.
And then there was a seconditeration with a friend of mine
who's a shamanic healer who alsoworks with trauma, and he and I
(35:49):
were.
We were going to hold ittogether, he and I were, we were
going to hold it together.
Vulture came in very strongly asa spirit guide for me,
specifically for the WailingCircle.
And so very shortly afterVulture came in as a guide, I
found driving down the road afreshly killed but unmarred
(36:13):
Vulture and I picked it up.
That was a gift from thespirits.
I brought it home, I saved thewings and the tail and some
feathers and at that secondwhaling circle the vulture wings
, the vulture tail I had alsosaved a little bit of the scalp
and neck feathers.
They were holding the fourdirections the head and the neck
(36:35):
in the north, the tail in thesouth and the wings in the east
and the west.
And when we went around thecircle of sharing a second time,
one of the women wanted to tryholding the vulture wing and she
did.
She stood up and she danced andit just unlocked something
(36:57):
really amazing for me and forher and, I think, for others in
the circle, and so that woman, Ireached out to her she's a
healer of a different kind andwe together held the third
iteration of the Wailing Circle,of the Wailing Circle, and the
(37:21):
third time was at the there's amedicine wheel on the land here
at Braided Root Waters HealingSanctuary and we held it at the
fire in the center of themedicine wheel.
And when she and I think two ofthe five participants were
gathered there just waiting,sitting with some silence,
waiting for the rest of thepeople to arrive, a swarm of
(37:43):
hummingbirds, no, a swarm ofdeeves.
We started hearing this humming.
It was behind me.
This swarm of deeves came andjust girded us, and from the
north and then left to the east,and that was such a powerful
(38:04):
experience.
The co-facilitator was in tears.
For me, honeybee was the firstspirit guide that I met myself
in a shamanic journey and themedicine of Honeybee for me is,
I manifest, nourishment formyself and others in community.
That was just such a messagefrom spirit that this wailing
(38:31):
circle is nourishment for myselfand my community.
And I want to share also thevulture medicine.
See if I can recall that thevulture medicine specific to the
Wailing Circle is comingtogether in a circle to uncover
(38:58):
the truth and renew life bypicking the flesh from the bones
.
That's what we're doing in awailing circle and the wailing
circle is the Wailing Circle isvery different than the Despair
Circle.
In the Despair Circle we pass atalking stick, each person
(39:26):
takes a turn, sharing and beingwitnessed and there's deep
healing and transformation inthat.
In the Wailing Circle we're alldeeply into our process at the
same time.
It's that vision that I sharedof coming together around the
fire and all of us all at thesame time, screaming, crying,
(39:58):
wailing, moving our bodies,pounding the earth.
We're all.
We're holding each other inthis greater container, but
we're all experiencing theemotion and allowing it to move
through us.
There was a group of four women, so it was small, but we all
went really deeply into thatplace of really letting the
emotion, letting the trauma outof our bodies through our voices
(40:21):
.
And at a certain point, after Ihad moved the trauma that I was
going to be moving, that wantedto move through and out of me,
that time I was just using myvoice, raising it and lowering
it, using my voice to helpothers access their voices and
(40:43):
really have this profoundrealization that, oh, my goddess
, this is what my voice is for,for, this is what my voice is
for doing this, for using myvoice to open the voices of
others, to unlock the grief andthe despair and the trauma and
(41:04):
help them let it out of theirbodies.
John Moir (41:09):
Thank you for joining us in this deeply moving
conversation with Betty RootedLionheart.
Through her powerful storiesand experiences, we've touched
on the importance of honoringgrief, embracing communal
healing and the profound impactof reconnecting with our
spiritual selves.
As Betty shared, our voices,and rituals can be tools to
(41:29):
release deep pain and trauma,whether personal or collective,
and we invite you to reflect onhow grief may live within you
and how sacred spaces, whetheraround the fire, in ritual or
within community, can help movethat energy through and out of
your body.
Thank you for being part ofthis important dialogue today.
(41:50):
Stay tuned for more episodeswhere we continue to explore
healing, transformation and thepower of shared human
experiences.
So take care and, until nexttime, keep finding waves to
honor your path and your grief.
We grieve our changing world because we are
witnessing the loss of more thanjust habitats.
We are losing cultures,languages and a way of life that
has sustained First Nationspeople for centuries.
As natural landscapes arealtered or destroyed, so too are
the traditions, stories andwisdom tied to them.
Indigenous cultures deeplyrooted in the land face a unique
(00:26):
kind of grief as sacred spacesvanish and languages, vessels of
identity and knowledge, areincreasingly endangered.
This loss reminds us that thehealth of the earth and the
richness of human diversity isintimately connected.
By honoring and learning fromthe First Nation peoples, we can
support efforts to revitalizelanguages and protect sacred
(00:48):
lands.
Through individual andcollective action, reducing our
environmental footprint,advocating for policies that
protect the earth and supportingthis right, we can help heal
the wounds of our planet andpreserve the cultural and
natural heritage we all share.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (01:05):
wounds of our planet and preserve the
cultural and natural heritage weall share.
What I need is for the peoplewho loved my mother to come
together outside around a fireand scream and cry and wail and
move our bodies and pound thedirt, and just this vision of
(01:26):
the way our ancestors did it,the way our ancestors would come
together, the tribe or thevillage, around the fire and
move the trauma, move the griefthrough our bodies together.
John Moir (01:44):
Our guest is a shamanic healer who shares her
journey about the power ofreclaiming lost parts of
ourselves while moving throughdeep despair and the use of
communal rituals to releasegrief and trauma.
Through her personalexperiences, she reveals how
shamanic healing offers hope,purpose and a deeper connection
to the divine.
Welcome back.
(02:06):
Thank you for listening to theUrban Grief Shamans and I'm your
host, john Moyer.
Betti Rooted Lionhear (02:11):
Receiving that soul part back was a
foundational piece in helping memove away from living in
despair.
I had something greater thanmyself to rely upon.
John Moir (02:30):
This is our guest,
Betti Rooted Lionheart (02:31):
Biddy
John Moir (02:32):
Rooted Lionheart, a compassionate shamanic healer,
spiritual empowerment advocateand a fire weaver.
Her work is all about helpingothers reconnect with their true
selves and healing, supportedthrough community and ritual.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (02:47):
Let me start with a bit of a story to
illustrate the journey, with thegrief and despair.
I trace it to about seven yearsold, when I went on a camping
trip with my cousin.
Her family had a motor home.
We were living in SouthernCalifornia at the time and
(03:07):
periodically they would takemyself and my sister on camping
trips with them and somewhere inCalifornia or the desert
southwest.
I have a cousin who's my ageand on one of these camping
trips she and I were hanging outin the back top bunk of those
old motorhomes.
(03:28):
Her dad loved to take pictures.
He had one of those old thiswas almost 40 years ago the big
cameras with the big lenses, andso we saw him doing that all
the time, and so we werepretending to take pictures.
We had little jewelry boxesjust yay, big, and we had put a
sticker on top and the stickerwas the shutter button that we
(03:49):
would hold these up and we wouldpush on the sticker and that
would take a picture.
And she had a stack of cards.
They were endangered speciescards and so those were the
pictures that we were takingright, so we could take a
picture and we had this actualphotograph, this card.
That is what we just createdand I didn't know before that
(04:11):
time what an endangered specieswas.
So that was my introduction toendangered species and I
remember one of those cards theocelot, the small wild cat of
Central and South America.
I am a cat person, I've alwaysbeen a cat person.
We always had cats growing upand the fact that beautiful wild
(04:34):
cat might cease to exist reallydeeply impacted me.
That was my first.
That was when I woke up to whathumans were doing to the planet
.
That was my introduction andfrom there I just kept seeking
it out and living with despair.
(04:56):
So I was saying that grief, ifgrief is a deep sadness, despair
is a deep sadness, but layeredonto that is the how can I live
with it?
John Moir (05:09):
You're talking about control and loss of control and
you feel like you can't doanything about it.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (05:14):
Maybe because, yes, particularly at
such a young age, feeling like Icouldn't do anything about it.
I couldn't do anything about it.
Yes, and so my who I am, thelife that I've lived, has been a
constant search for how can Ido something about it?
How can I make a difference?
(05:35):
How can I help stop speciesfrom going extinct?
How can I help stop forestsfrom getting leveled, going
extinct?
How can I help stop forestsfrom getting leveled?
So that's probably a fairlygood description of who I am and
how I got to be who I am.
John Moir (05:53):
It was really a pivotal moment, wasn't it?
To that realization that thesethings happen to wildlife and
wild spaces in our world, in ourbackyards, that we have no
control over wild spaces in ourworld, in our backyards, that we
have no control over Readingyour material.
It seemed like it was a hugeinfluence in the direction of
(06:13):
your life and that grief evolvedas you learned more about the
state of the earth.
I got from that.
So that journey of that firstrealization, of this big grief
and despair, how did thatjourney unfold for you?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (06:28):
It unfolded such that I felt as an
adolescent in high school.
I felt very much alone.
I didn't have any adult mentors.
I didn't talk to my friendsabout how I was feeling.
What I did was just readvoraciously and listened to NPR
(06:51):
all the time, right Just takingit in.
In one of my recent shamanicjourney, I was shown that from a
very young age and still tothis day, I've been like an
antenna for the pain of theworld, and I'm of course not the
only one.
There are other people like mewho are very aware, very
sensitive to what's happening tothe earth, to the cries of the
(07:25):
earthend it aside, and it's notan easy thing to live with.
John Moir (07:33):
The way you describe that is.
I came across an interestingfellow who was a big influence
for me.
It was Francis Weller and hewrote this book.
It's about grief.
It's called the Wild Edge ofSorrow and he describes five
different gates that griefenters us, and one of it is the
grief of the world, and I was ina workshop with him at that
(07:54):
time.
I was grieving because myfather had abandoned me.
There were several women in mygroup.
Their grief was heavy and itwas all about the loss of
species.
Heavy and it was all about theloss of species.
I was taken aback by theirintensity.
No difference between whatgrief we're carrying.
They were just as powerful ascoming from an outside source
(08:16):
into them.
As you describe the grief thatyou carry, you're picking up the
grief of the world or thechanges in the world.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (08:24):
Yeah, I think of it as the grief of the
world, or the changes in theworld.
Yeah, I think of it as thegrief of the collective.
John Moir (08:30):
We're both shamanic practitioners.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (08:33):
You and I.
John Moir (08:35):
And I'm wondering if you could bring that part into
our conversation here.
We'll flip back and forth, butI'd just like to know a little
bit more about that, more so forour listeners, because so many
of them aren't shamanic people,but exploring the idea of
perhaps living in a shamaniclifestyle and certainly using
(08:59):
shamanic sensibilities to helpthem through their grief and so
share with us.
How did you get into it?
Give us some of your backgroundand the type of shamanism that
you practice daily.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (09:15):
Yeah, I would love to.
Oh, let's see.
I'll answer the.
How did I get into it?
First, and I guess, just to keeppulling on the thread of the
story, I went from studyingagriculture to wanting to learn
how to grow food without poison,went to an organic agriculture
training program.
That's where I met the fatherof my children and came up with
(09:38):
this dream of creating afarm-based, intentional
community that could survive thecollapse of the systems that we
rely on.
So we landed in New York Stateon 105 acres to create this
dream, and those were the worst,hardest years of my life, and
(10:01):
we weren't able to make the farmwork life and we weren't able
to make the farm work, weweren't able to create the
community.
And at the beginning of 2015, Ijust I landed in the deepest,
darkest pit in my life.
I hit barter and we hadrecognized that we had to give
up on the dream of the farm andit was time to figure out how to
(10:26):
make a living, how to supportour kids, how to be able to feed
our kids in the world that welive in, without living in that
very different way that Idesperately wanted to live and
wanted to raise my kids in avery different way and in a very
(11:06):
different way, and so whatended up happening is, I
stumbled across a flyer for ashamanic ancestral workshop in
the local food co-op here, andthe reason I picked the flyer up
wasn't anything to do withshamanism.
I didn't know what that was.
He said that the Church ofEarth Healing.
That's what I needed to knowabout, and when I finally did
call the number on the flyer andgot a woman on the phone, we
decided to meet.
It turned out she lived in thisarea and she was a shamanic
healer and she had a shamanicjourney circle, and so I
(11:27):
immediately joined the circle.
Within a month of that, she wasteaching her workshop, in which
she teaches people to shamanicjourney.
In the space of two days, Ilearned how to shamanic journey,
and that was just it for me.
That was the thing that I'dbeen searching for my whole life
, even though I didn't know thatI had been looking.
(11:49):
I'd been raised Roman Catholic.
John Moir (11:51):
That really didn't fit well with me, so what did
you do in between that middlepart, before you went through
the door?
So you knew that your religioussystem that you grew up with is
not holding you well, but youhadn't quite reached into the
shamanic area.
Was there a gray area where youjust were lost?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (12:14):
The lostness in my life had to do
with the despair for the earth,not for lack of a religion to
lean on, though from where I sitnow, certainly not having
something spiritual to hold onto was part of the despair.
I didn't know that at the time.
I do know that now I continuedto have to go to church for a
(12:38):
while, or even if my mom didn'trequire it periodically, just to
show her that I loved her right, it wasn't just a complete
break.
At a certain point I realizedthat, oh, I probably would lean
more pagan.
I probably.
(12:58):
I knew for several years beforelearning the shamanic journey,
at least a decade beforelearning the shamanic journey,
at least a decade that I wantedto honor the moon in some way,
but I didn't.
My energy never got put in thatdirection.
I never sought out much readingon it.
I never sought out people toinvestigate that with.
(13:21):
I guess probably because I wasin those years of my life of
trying to figure out how I wasgoing to make a difference,
being in university and then atthat farming program and then
falling in love and then havingkids.
There just wasn't ever a timefor me to focus on that.
(13:42):
But I do.
I guess I'll share this story.
It's coming up to share that in2006, my now ex-husband and I
were living on a goat dairy inRio Vista, california, and I
decided, okay, I'm going to.
It was a full moon.
I decided I'm going to go outand do something to on moon.
So I even tried to dress up ina way that I thought was witchy
(14:06):
or something, with flowingskirts and I don't remember what
and I went out into a field onthis goat farm and there was,
the moon was up in the sky.
There was a cat that lived onthis farm that I had been
friendly with.
I left cats.
I already said that.
But when I went out to do thismoon ritual, to just make
(14:28):
something up, I had no idea whatI was doing.
That cat came out and startedattacking the skirt that I was
wearing and my legs and I endedup having to retreat into the
house to get away from this catand I just took that as a omen
and I guess I wasn't supposed todo that and so I didn't.
(14:50):
That one little attempt wasn'tfollowed by any other attempts.
That was 2006.
I found my shamanic teacher andlearned to shamanic journey in
2016.
So there was that decade ofknowing that I wanted to honor
the moon, but not doing anythingabout it how did that path
(15:11):
intersect with your teacher?
John Moir (15:12):
How did that come about?
Why that particular person?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (15:16):
Because of the Church of Earth Healing.
I had never seen those wordsput together.
And then, when I met her, sheshared with me that she had also
lived with deep pain for theearth and had lived her life
(15:38):
trying to make a difference, aspiritual difference, and she
had lived her life off the grid,close to the land, growing her
own food, growing her ownmedicines, and so there was just
a lot of resonance there.
And she lives 20 minutes awayfrom me and this was before
(16:03):
everything was done on Zoomright.
John Moir (16:07):
Did it feel?
Was it a very comfortablefeeling being in her space when
you first met?
Were you shy or did you feellike you came home?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (16:11):
I would say I felt like I came home.
Yeah, I am a very shy person,but I felt like I had come home.
John Moir (16:20):
Now, I guess that's perhaps one of the first
shamanic teachings is you haveto dream the existence that you
want to be in place you have todream that into being, and does
that resonate with you thatthose are the first steps of
this dream, that you've createdthis reality that you're
building for yourself with yourproperty, and you're just even
(16:44):
the fact that you're becoming ashamanic, that you are a
shamanic teacher?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (16:47):
Yes, yeah, we do need to dream into
being the life that we want.
But we can't just dream, wehave to take action.
And for me, I would add to that, I have to be connected to
spirit and connected to myself.
(17:08):
Have to be connected to spiritand connected to myself and
living as aligned with my valuesas I can.
There are a lot of my valuesthat I'm not, in this moment,
able to live aligned withMaterially.
I live prettymiddle-of-the-road American
consumer life is what has comeof my life and that's not what I
(17:33):
wanted at all.
That's not what I was dreamingfor many years before we landed
here to try to do somethingdifferently.
So I've had to make peace withthat reality.
But my life is very spirituallyfocused.
My life revolves around myspiritual connection and I'm
(17:55):
able to live with that right now.
I still want to and I'm stilltaking the actions to create
something different, but thatdoes sustain me for now.
John Moir (18:05):
As you were moving along your shamanic path.
Were there any difficultiesthat you came across, in a way,
of the teachings that you weregiven, the practices that you
were given, perhaps some of therituals?
Was there any big jolts to yoursoul, to your system, that you
weren't expecting?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (18:23):
That were difficult specifically.
John Moir (18:25):
Yeah, that it took a big effort to reach up into it,
so to speak.
I'm thinking of when a dooropens for us, we always have
that opportunity to go throughit.
So it means that there has tobe a death before there's a new
beginning, metaphorically, and Iwas just wondering if you
yourself had what kind of deathsor mini-deaths that you might
have gone through to become whoyou are now.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (18:49):
That's an interesting question.
Oh, so many deaths, so many, somany dismemberment experiences.
But let me see if I can dropinto something more specific or
see what story wants to come up.
I guess what's coming up isthat I did not have trouble or
(19:17):
struggle with the ritual aspectof it little rituals.
My earliest ritual was to justdaily in the morning light, a
(19:38):
candle burn a little sage tohonor Grandmother Moan.
What became a bit of a strugglea bit further down the line was
just how many rituals I wastrying to keep up with.
It took me a little while tounderstand that each time a new
(19:59):
ritual was given to me, itwasn't necessarily being layered
on top of 10 or 100 otherrituals.
I could begin to let some ofthe other ones fade out to more
completely step into the new one.
I didn't realize that rightaway.
So there was a period of timewhere I was like how am I
(20:21):
supposed to keep up with all ofthese many rituals and still
keep up with the day-to-day?
John Moir (20:27):
Were they like stepping stones or steps as you
became more spiritually healed,more integrated with spirit?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (20:37):
Yes, yeah, a lot of the rituals that
I work with are part of theintegration process for healings
that I've experienced, processfor healings that I've
experienced.
So, for example, in receiving asoul part back I should explain
that probably just a little bitthat in the shamanic worldview,
(20:58):
in moments of trauma and it canbe big trauma or small trauma we
lose pieces of our soul, a partof ourselves that can't cope
with what's happening, leaves,and so we become less and less
whole.
I believe probably every humanon this planet has had some soul
loss, probably significant soulloss.
(21:19):
We live in a very traumatizingtime.
We can, our spirit guides canfind those pieces that have been
lost.
They can heal them and they cangive them back to us and then
the energy of that healed soulpart we need to actively
incorporate into ourselves.
(21:41):
And so a lot of the rituals areto help do that incorporation
work, to help keep that piece ofhealing in mind.
So, for example, often for meit would be wearing a particular
necklace to remind me of a soulpart, and then I'm wearing
three necklaces all the time, orfive necklaces all the time or
(22:03):
that kind of thing.
At a certain point you don'tnecessarily want to be wearing
10 or 20 necklaces all the time.
That's just one little example.
John Moir (22:13):
Yes.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (22:14):
Yeah, and I guess I'd like to share
that.
One of the earliest soulretrievals that I received from
my teacher was a seven-year-oldsoul part, old soul part.
It was that seven-year-old selfthat learned about the
(22:35):
endangered species and felt sodeeply for that ocelot.
And receiving that soul partback as would have been in 2016,
was a foundational piece inhelping me move away from living
in despair.
I no longer live in despaironce I found this shamanic
(22:56):
spiritual path, once I hadsomething greater than myself to
rely upon, to go to understandhow to live my life, to begin to
understand why am I on thisplanet?
How am I supposed to make adifference?
That's what I had been lookingfor my whole life.
So this spiritual path led meto that.
(23:20):
Getting that soul part back andstarting to have my own
spiritual connection andstarting to understand why I'm
here and why I'm here is to be ashamanic healer and is to
connect people with their owndirect connection to the divine.
That all of that has helped meno longer live in that despair,
(23:43):
no longer live in that place ofdeep grief layered with the how
can I live with this, and partof the definition of despair is
having a lack of hope, and somoving away from that lack of
hope, moving into a space ofhopefulness, has made such a
(24:08):
huge difference in my life andit has brought me to this place
where, actually, in 2016, Ibegan I also, in 2016, found the
work that reconnects, which wasdeveloped by Joanna Macy and
her colleague, starting in 1978,which was the year that I was
born, but I was 37 before Idiscovered it.
(24:31):
And once I discovered it, I waslike how could I possibly have
not known about this, the workthat reconnects, in this amazing
group process bringing peopletogether to share our grief and
despair for the earth to bewitnessed.
It's amazing to be witnessed.
It's amazing to witness others.
It's very transformational,going from feeling like I'm
(24:56):
alone in this to, and steppedinto, had a very spiritual
experience in one of theserituals, in one of these
(25:17):
workshops, one of these deepgrief rituals that was like a
baptism, into now holding,offering this, holding these
workshops myself.
So, in 2016, holding, offeringthis, holding these workshops
myself.
So in 2016, I began doing thatand I should say I also received
a sole part back to do with myvoice, which allowed me to step
(25:38):
into leading workshops, because,when I was in high school.
I have very specific memory ofstanding in front of the class.
I don't know what I wassupposed to be delivering,
shaking and practicallystuttering.
Being in front of a group ofpeople not my comfort zone.
Receiving that soul part backto do with my voice totally
(26:01):
changed that for me.
I very quickly, like withinmonths of that, was standing in
front of small groups of peoplefacilitating this very deep
process.
John Moir (26:14):
It's a nice segue into the question about your
wailing circles, so share yourexperience and perhaps how the
wailingcles have helped others.
Betti Rooted Lionheart (26:30):
If you have a few stories that you
could share, I do, and I want tostart that by sharing the story
of my mother's death, becausethe Wailing Circle came for me
from my mother's death.
So in 2022, on May 13th of 2022, I got the phone call and my
(26:52):
mom had a stroke.
She was still alive.
He was at the hospital.
The prognosis at that point wasthat she might survive but be
half paralyzed, and so as soonas I got off the phone, of
course I'm a shamanic healer.
I am going to try to dosomething to help.
(27:15):
I'm going to try to heal my mom.
So I went into a shamanicjourney and I went with my
spirit guides to her hospitalroom.
I sometimes, if the issue I'mdealing with is physical, I turn
into a black bear, and so I did.
(27:35):
I turned into a black bear.
I stood behind her head not thehead of her bed at her head and
I put my bear paws on her headand she immediately said take
your hands off my head and standback.
(27:55):
And I'm getting a little bitteary about it right now,
because it was just so clearTake your hands off of my head
and stand back.
He did not want to fix this andof course I did.
I stood back.
She made it clear that I couldbe there, I can be supporting
(28:18):
her, I can be giving her love.
But we were not going to fixthis.
And that was a Friday and shehad another stroke.
I think it was into the nighton Friday.
(28:45):
And Saturday morning is when mydad and my sister decided to
take her off of all life supportexcept for just not forced air
but just passive air at her nose.
And I am so glad that I didthat journey because it gave me
so much peace.
It let me know that this waswhat she wanted.
Mom's greatest fears was beinghalf paralyzed or losing her
(29:13):
cognition and living for decadeswithout knowing her loved ones.
She had those two very specificfears about aging and her own
death process.
She was a go-go-do.
She did not want to have tostick around in the body with
(29:33):
only use of half one arm and oneleg.
So I know that she was live inNew York State.
My parents live in Florida.
I flew to Florida.
I was able to spend the last twodays of her life with her at
(29:58):
her bedside, listening to thelabored breathing.
I knew the moment the breathingchanged and she was moving into
the last few minutes, the lastfew breaths.
But I do want to say thatbefore that she was in hospice
and this hospice had a beautifullittle courtyard garden.
It was really an amazinghealing for her to help her be
(30:22):
that much further along when shegets to the other side to cross
over.
And I've been given a death songby my spirit guides, so I would
(30:46):
sit at her bedside and singthat song, spirit guides, so I
would sit at her bedside andsing that song.
And at a certain point and Iwant to say too that this was my
first experience of what myspirit guides call walking with
death I had known before thisthat walking with death is part
of what I'm being called to do,but I'd never done it before and
(31:06):
it's fairly profound to havedone it with my own mother.
At a certain point in thisprocess of me trying to pull out
all of my shamanic skills andmake a difference, I realized
this isn't about me, this is herprocess and it's not for me.
(31:27):
It doesn't harm anything for meto be doing these things, but
it's not about that.
It's about me being presentwith her and holding space and
just walking with her death, andthat was a big learning that
I'm really grateful to have.
John Moir (31:45):
It's a powerful teaching to have that
realization that it's not aboutjust step out of way step away?
Betti Rooted Lionheart (31:53):
yes, and because I'm a shamanic healer,
because I have a relationshipwith the spirit world, with my
spirit guides, because I'vethought for many years very
differently about death, thisculture and when I say this
(32:13):
culture, I a white American andwe have a very unhealthy concept
relationship with death we wantto pretend that it doesn't
exist.
We don't have to me, we don'thave adequate rituals to deal
with death, not for those thatremain living, not for those
who've died.
(32:33):
My mom had a Catholic memorialmass, which is what she needed,
but it's not what I needed.
My dad and my sister and mybrother were all really shocked
and really, really despairing.
I would say like really in thatplace of no hope.
And how do I live with this?
(32:53):
And I wasn't.
I'd been expecting something tohappen to one of my parents for
quite a while and I'm just sosteeped in spirituality and what
I would like death and a ritualaround death to look like.
(33:14):
So I was able to be a solidpillar for my family in their
grief and in their despair whenwe were in this Catholic
memorial mass, which is what mymom needed and not what I needed
I was sitting there just reallythinking like this is so not
what I need.
What I need is for the peoplewho loved my mother to come
(33:37):
together outside around a fireand scream and cry and wail and
move our bodies and pound thedirt and just this vision of the
way our ancestors did it, theway our ancestors would come
(33:59):
together, the tribe or thevillage, around the fire and
move the trauma, move the griefthrough our bodies together.
That's where the whaling circlecomes from for me, and so I
(34:26):
knew that that vision had beengiven to me so that I would
create it, and I had been.
I mentioned starting in 2016with the work that reconnects,
facilitating those workshops.
Through that process, I met awoman who attended two of my
workshops, who then partneredwith me to create what we've
(34:47):
been calling the Despair andDiscovery Circle, and that had a
core group of people.
When I came home from Florida in2022, after my mom's death, I
spoke to my friend who held theDespair and Discovery Circle
(35:08):
with me and shared this vision Ihad for something that was
slightly similar but way moredeep and profound, and so she
and one other woman from thedespair circle and I came
together around a fire and thatwas the first try.
(35:28):
Right.
We had a very small circle andexperience of it.
Of course we weren't able tocap into creating that vision,
but it was a start.
And then there was a seconditeration with a friend of mine
who's a shamanic healer who alsoworks with trauma, and he and I
(35:49):
were.
We were going to hold ittogether, he and I were, we were
going to hold it together.
Vulture came in very strongly asa spirit guide for me,
specifically for the WailingCircle.
And so very shortly afterVulture came in as a guide, I
found driving down the road afreshly killed but unmarred
(36:13):
Vulture and I picked it up.
That was a gift from thespirits.
I brought it home, I saved thewings and the tail and some
feathers and at that secondwhaling circle the vulture wings
, the vulture tail I had alsosaved a little bit of the scalp
and neck feathers.
They were holding the fourdirections the head and the neck
(36:35):
in the north, the tail in thesouth and the wings in the east
and the west.
And when we went around thecircle of sharing a second time,
one of the women wanted to tryholding the vulture wing and she
did.
She stood up and she danced andit just unlocked something
(36:57):
really amazing for me and forher and, I think, for others in
the circle, and so that woman, Ireached out to her she's a
healer of a different kind andwe together held the third
iteration of the Wailing Circle,of the Wailing Circle, and the
(37:21):
third time was at the there's amedicine wheel on the land here
at Braided Root Waters HealingSanctuary and we held it at the
fire in the center of themedicine wheel.
And when she and I think two ofthe five participants were
gathered there just waiting,sitting with some silence,
waiting for the rest of thepeople to arrive, a swarm of
(37:43):
hummingbirds, no, a swarm ofdeeves.
We started hearing this humming.
It was behind me.
This swarm of deeves came andjust girded us, and from the
north and then left to the east,and that was such a powerful
(38:04):
experience.
The co-facilitator was in tears.
For me, honeybee was the firstspirit guide that I met myself
in a shamanic journey and themedicine of Honeybee for me is,
I manifest, nourishment formyself and others in community.
That was just such a messagefrom spirit that this wailing
(38:31):
circle is nourishment for myselfand my community.
And I want to share also thevulture medicine.
See if I can recall that thevulture medicine specific to the
Wailing Circle is comingtogether in a circle to uncover
(38:58):
the truth and renew life bypicking the flesh from the bones
.
That's what we're doing in awailing circle and the wailing
circle is the Wailing Circle isvery different than the Despair
Circle.
In the Despair Circle we pass atalking stick, each person
(39:26):
takes a turn, sharing and beingwitnessed and there's deep
healing and transformation inthat.
In the Wailing Circle we're alldeeply into our process at the
same time.
It's that vision that I sharedof coming together around the
fire and all of us all at thesame time, screaming, crying,
(39:58):
wailing, moving our bodies,pounding the earth.
We're all.
We're holding each other inthis greater container, but
we're all experiencing theemotion and allowing it to move
through us.
There was a group of four women, so it was small, but we all
went really deeply into thatplace of really letting the
emotion, letting the trauma outof our bodies through our voices
(40:21):
.
And at a certain point, after Ihad moved the trauma that I was
going to be moving, that wantedto move through and out of me,
that time I was just using myvoice, raising it and lowering
it, using my voice to helpothers access their voices and
(40:43):
really have this profoundrealization that, oh, my goddess
, this is what my voice is for,for, this is what my voice is
for doing this, for using myvoice to open the voices of
others, to unlock the grief andthe despair and the trauma and
(41:04):
help them let it out of theirbodies.
John Moir (41:09):
Thank you for joining us in this deeply moving
conversation with Betty RootedLionheart.
Through her powerful storiesand experiences, we've touched
on the importance of honoringgrief, embracing communal
healing and the profound impactof reconnecting with our
spiritual selves.
As Betty shared, our voices,and rituals can be tools to
(41:29):
release deep pain and trauma,whether personal or collective,
and we invite you to reflect onhow grief may live within you
and how sacred spaces, whetheraround the fire, in ritual or
within community, can help movethat energy through and out of
your body.
Thank you for being part ofthis important dialogue today.
(41:50):
Stay tuned for more episodeswhere we continue to explore
healing, transformation and thepower of shared human
experiences.
So take care and, until nexttime, keep finding waves to
honor your path and your grief.
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