August 2, 2025 • 52 mins
Venus tackles the challenging situation when partners express a firm "no" to cuckolding but you still desire it. She explores practical alternatives for couples to explore this fantasy without crossing established boundaries.
• Understanding your partner's specific reasons for saying no is crucial
• Safety concerns, relationship risks, and lifestyle timing can all be valid reasons for resistance
• Dirty talk about previous partners or imaginary scenarios can trigger cuckolding arousal
• Incorporating toys, especially larger dildos, can simulate the experience without involving others
• The "Is It True?" game creates exciting uncertainty through maybe-real flirtations
• Approaching these activities as "mental stripteases" rather than formal role play feels less awkward
• For partners uncomfortable discussing sex generally, addressing communication skills comes first
• Women's sexual safety concerns are legitimate based on real experiences
• Your desires matter even in submissive dynamics, but approach conversations respectfully
• Consider consulting kink-aware couples therapists if needed
If you have questions or confessions for the show, visit venuscuckoldress.com and click on the podcast link. Join the Queens Quarters community for more exclusive content and live events.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Venus Cuckoldress podcast, a place to
learn all things cuckolding forthe curious, for the passionate
(00:36):
and for the sexually empoweredwoman who wants it all.
Let's go, think you're going tolove it, because I have heard
about people having this issuefor a long time.
Lots of you, I'm sure listening, are going to be able to come
out.
Come away, hopefully, with somegreat advice and tips and
suggestions about what to dowhen your wife is a hard no to
(00:57):
sleeping with other guys, likeshe's just like fuck no.
Or she's like a maybe to roleplay or having some fun with the
idea around it, but notactually sleeping with other
guys.
And how?
What do you do?
Where do you?
Where do you start?
How do you do that together?
So thank you to everybody who'sbeen sending in your voice
(01:18):
notes, your confessions,comments and questions for the
show over the last severalmonths.
I've not been ignoring you.
I just haven't been able to doone of these confessions
episodes, so I will eventuallyget to them.
Maybe, maybe yours might showup on a future show.
If you are interested insubmitting a question, comment
(01:38):
or steaming confession for theshow, all you have to do is go
to venuscuckledresscom.
Click on the link that says thepodcast and on there is super
easy.
You just click a button and youhave up to five minutes to
submit your question, comment orconfession and you never know,
it might end up on the show.
(01:59):
And I am going to be talkingabout this topic.
We're going to go get into it alittle bit more.
So if you have something to say, if you have something you want
to share, a question you wantto ask about today's show, join
me in the Queens Quarterscommunity.
It's free for limited access.
All you have to do is sign upon venuscuckledresscom and voila
, you'll get access to the liveevent, which will be happening
(02:22):
on Wednesday, august 6th, at 11am Pacific time, that is, 2 pm
Eastern.
So it's a live event.
You can pop in, you can chatwith me and others and we can
have a discussion about today'stopic, and you can find the link
to register for that in theshow notes for today.
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Speaker 2 (04:34):
Hello Venus, this is Jim Hsu.
I have been a fan for such along time.
It's really great to see howfar you've come.
I was a fan before the podcasteven started and I love
listening to all the podcasts.
But anyway, the motivation formy message today is maybe an
(04:55):
open discussion or seeking someadvice or maybe a little help
from the community on some ofthe thoughts I have.
A number of years ago I got intoa relationship.
I'm in a relationship now sameone.
A number of years ago.
Early on in the relationship Iexpressed my interests in a
(05:16):
number of things, tried to, youknow, do the right thing
communicating what I like, mydislikes you know things like
that Primarily focusing on whatI like, my dislikes you know
things like that Primarilyfocusing on, you know, the
female-led relationship.
And then, of course, myexperience with cuckolding,
(05:38):
which was maybe not quite asfulfilling as it could have been
, but it was an experience thatintroduced me to cuckolding.
That introduced me tocuckolding and I, you know,
figured out, I guess, that I ama cuckold through that you know
long process of, you know year,year and a half of discovery
with in a previous relationship.
But anyway, my current partnerhas fully and totally embraced a
(06:04):
female led relationship,absolutely loves it.
It's it's totally for her.
Um, she's even to the point ofindulging my foot fetish as part
of the dynamic.
I mean, it is absolutely great,you know, however, um was a
hard no on cuckolding, was ahard no on cuckolding, just not
(06:29):
for her.
Um, it's not something foreverybody.
I can understand that, um.
I I put it out there andcommunicated it to her and um
did my part.
Uh, and then kind of put it outof my mind.
I I did not want to upset thedynamic that had been developing
on the female-led relationshipside.
I feel like as a submissive guyin relationships, I felt like I
hit gold with that and the lastthing I wanted to do was upset
(06:53):
that apple cart.
And I thought perhaps theinterest in cuckolding might
wane.
It has not.
I think about it all the time.
I don't.
I mean, it's part of me, it's,it's shaped who I am.
Uh, at discovery process, uh,years ago, shoot, it's probably
(07:14):
been.
Uh, almost 20 years ago, um,and never, uh, never had it
again, never had that type ofrelationship again and only
mustered the courage to to sayit in this new uh relationship.
That's, uh, quite a few yearson now.
Um, as a, you know, an effort tocommunicate and be open.
(07:36):
Uh, it has and, like I said, ithas not waned, um, so I'm at a
crossroads.
Should I bring it up again?
You know, is that kind ofleaning into the neighborhood,
of becoming about me when I knowshe was a hard?
No, I mean, it's been put outthere so that option is
(07:58):
available to her, but it's neverbeen brought up again.
It's never been mentioned.
It's just not who she is, butit's never been brought up again
.
It's never been mentioned, it'sjust not who she is.
So I don't want to make it aboutme, but I also want to make
sure I, you know, communicate myneeds and interests as well.
Is that, is that advisable?
I don't know.
I don't know where to go withthat and I thought, before I
(08:21):
made any moves or changes orupset the apple cart, so to
speak, I would throw it outthere to the community and to
you.
Maybe it's podcast worthy tohave a discussion, or maybe just
receive some advice, and Ivalue your thoughts on this as
an authority in this area.
So I appreciate your time andthanks for listening.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
So first off, I just want to say a big thank you to
Jim for calling in and askingthis question, because I get
asked this a lot, so I'm happyto talk about it and give some
suggestions or advice.
For anybody who is not aware ofwho Jim Hsu is, he's an author
and I actually have one of hisbooks and he writes about female
(09:12):
domination and foot fetishesand you can buy his books on
Amazon.
It's Jim and then last namespelled S-H-U-E.
I will put the link in the shownotes for today if you're
interested in buying some of hisbooks.
Okay, what to do when your wifesays hard no to cuckolding?
(09:35):
And I really appreciate how youworded this, jim, because
you're already in an FLR.
You don't want this to makethis sound like this is about
you.
You don't want to be toppingfrom the bottom or whatever
people call it, but this isimportant to you, so do you
bring it up again?
And I totally get that.
You don't want to risk what youalready have, because you did
(09:58):
kind of win the lottery when itcomes to being submissive and
having a wife who is reallyhappy to embrace that about you
and embrace your foot fetish.
Like, yeah, I get it.
That's not something you wantto throw away.
That's not something you wantto even risk throwing away.
So this is going to be tricky.
(10:20):
First of all, I need to knowwhat's the reason why she said
no.
And I find this with a lot ofguys who call in and or write in
or just like, okay, my wifesaid no, what do I do?
And they go on and on and onabout what should I do.
What should I do, but very few,if any of them, actually
(10:40):
explain her reasons as to whyshe said no.
And that's the important part,right?
Because I can't tell you whatto do if I don't know exactly
why she's feeling the way thatshe feels.
And you should know that.
You obviously should know thereasons why she said no, hard no
(11:01):
.
So I'm just going to talk alittle bit about a few of the
common reasons why women say noand what you can do if either
one of those answers were one ofthe ones that she gave you.
But first of all, I'd sayprobably the most common reason
why women say no to cuckoldingis they either have like an icky
(11:24):
feeling about it, like theyjust can't get over the fact
that you know sleeping withstrangers or they're just, they
have a real love affair withmonogamy and anything outside of
that is giving them the ick,and I totally get that.
There's a lot of women who justthe thought of this is just
like, nah, I could never gothere.
(11:45):
And if that's the case thenshe's probably not ever going to
be into it and it is going tostay a hard no, forever.
But it could be that maybe shefeels like cuckolding is just
too risky for her and Icompletely understand that and
for those of you listening, thiscould mean a variety of things,
(12:07):
like I'm talking about risk asin risk for STIs and risk for
her safety.
I mean she's meeting up withrandom guys who she doesn't know
.
There could be all sorts ofthings that happen he drugs, her
rapes, her assaults, her Like.
For myself, I had a few reallyscary instances, but the worst
(12:32):
was when I went to go meet upwith a guy who I had not met
before and I had a bad feelingabout it, but I went anyway.
I was reassured by my cuckboyfriend at the time that you
know, it's all good, you can go,and it turned out to be
horrific.
I was told at one point duringthe night that I was not allowed
(12:56):
to leave and I was reallyfucking scared.
I was no longer free to leave.
I was told that I was going tobe staying there and it was
really scary because this guywas getting violent and I had to
.
Luckily I was able to phone thepolice, but I ran, I physically
(13:16):
ran out of there and hid and itwas on the phone with the 911
dispatcher and I was scared.
I mean, I was shook.
I have, ever since thathappened I rarely meet up with
guys randomly.
Like that ever again like thatscared me to the core, and so
that's a real concern safety.
(13:38):
But also there's a.
She might perceive it as a riskto your relationship or a risk
to you psychologically, mentally, a risk for your mental health.
Like how would he cope withthis?
He says it turns him on, butthis is jealousy we're talking
about.
This affects guys in a lot ofreally negative ways
(13:58):
historically.
And also a risk for yourrelationship, as in like, what
happens if this doesn't work out?
And he weaponizes this againstme, the fact that I slept with
somebody else and, you know,does this mean the end of our
relationship?
And so there, yes, there arebig risks that women have to
consider when it comes toembarking in this journey
(14:22):
together down the cuckoldingroad, to embarking in this
journey together down thecuckolding road, or maybe her
reason for it being a hard no.
At that time when you talked toher about it a long time ago,
maybe at that point in her life,this was just too much to ask
for, and I get that too.
Like, maybe she was just busyas fuck, working like crazy long
(14:46):
hours at work and this askingthis of her was just too much to
add to that already reallychaotic, busy plate that she had
going on.
And that is fair.
And that's why I think it'scrazy that, like, some guys
bring this up to their wife.
When you have babies newbornbabies at home, little kids at
(15:10):
home, toddlers, multiple kids athome Like, for fuck's sakes,
you're bringing this up at themost crazy, chaotic, extremely
stressful part of her life andyou want her to now dress up
sexy and take this on and go anddo this thing and like be this
sex diva and everything likethat.
(15:31):
Wow, there's a lot to ask forthat part of her life where
she's just barely holding ittogether, sleep deprived and her
body's changed and it's crazy.
Okay, that's a lot.
So I get it could be that atthat point in her life it was
just too much to ask, notsomething that she could take on
, and it was a hard no, becauseit felt like a chore.
(15:55):
But you know, I think thatthere's several things that
maybe you might be able to do.
Like I said, if this is an ickyfeeling for her and she's just
like way too in love withmonogamy to even, you know,
entertain the thought ofanything outside of monogamy,
then she's probably, this willprobably never be a thing that
(16:17):
she's willing to do.
Okay, but what if it's safety?
What if it is safety forherself or safety for you or the
relationship that she'sconcerned about?
There are things that you cando, lots of things that you can
do together to kind of likescratch that cuckolding itch, to
flip that cuckolding switch inyour brain that gives you a
(16:39):
boner and makes you all excited,makes you all excited.
There's stuff, lots of thingsthat you can do, that don't
include her actually fuckingother dudes.
Okay, tons of stuff.
And these are the honestly, forme, these are the fun parts of
cuckolding, I think, where wethe whole her sleeping with
(16:59):
other guys thing is way toofucking overrated.
And I get that's the pornscript, that's the ultimate
fantasy, that's the getting yourcuck cherry popped kind of
moment that all guys have intheir mind that they're not a
real cuck unless she slept withanother dude.
Well, I'm here to say that isbullshit.
There's lots of couples outthere who, singles even to, who
(17:21):
are living their best cuckoldinglives in different ways than
just that.
Okay, lots, and this issomething I've learned over the
years which just completely hasblown my mind and I've learned
to absolutely fucking love aboutthis lifestyle is that there's
way more creativity than justher sleeping with other guys,
(17:43):
and what I'm talking about isthings like okay, you can have a
lot of fun with dirty talk,even when you're just having sex
together or you're eating herout or whatever, and she's just,
you know, loving it andwhatever.
She can say these little thingsto you, little comments about a
(18:03):
previous guy that she was withbefore you, or guys celebrities
she thinks is hot, or like, oh,whatever, just her deepest,
darkest fantasies.
That might include, you know,some different type of guy.
I mean, there's a lot of thingsthat she could say.
There's a lot of things thatyou could say.
The stuff that you could saytogether in those sexy moments
that can really touch oncuckolding and that is so fun,
(18:27):
like, so fun.
You can really get into that.
But there's also like theteasing part.
If you are somebody who getsinto like the whole, loves the
size comparison part or the skincontrast or interracial or
whatever, like there's a lot ofstuff that she can tease you
(18:47):
about that has to do withcuckolding, that doesn't involve
her sleeping with another guybut can absolutely work you up
into your little cuck frenzy inyour mind and make it so that
you lose control.
But also, oh my gosh, okay, lotsof toys that you can play with.
(19:09):
I know lots of couples whobrought toys into the bedroom
different size dildos anddifferent color dildos and
whatever, and you know, assignthem a name and almost like
dirty talk with them.
Like she can pretend that, likeshe's with this other guy when
she's having sex with this dildoor whatever.
Like that does it for a lot ofguys.
(19:31):
Just the creativity, theimagination about her doing that
with somebody else.
That does it for them.
It's super fun and exciting.
But then of course, you canwatch cuck porn together.
I personally don't like a lotof the.
I don't.
I don't really love a lot ofthe cuck porn that's out there,
but maybe you guys can make afun little adventure of it and
(19:54):
try to find ones that youactually like together and watch
it together, like that would be, so I think that would be
really hot.
I've had tons of guys over theyears send me their favorite
cuck porn videos.
Okay, I get it.
You guys have lotsno-transcript, um, okay, also
(20:21):
okay.
Last but not least, this is likethe easiest one, I think.
But that has the most rewardwhen it comes to doing
cuckolding without actually hersleeping with other guys, is
maybe she would be okay withsimply flirting with other guys
(20:42):
and knowing that it and beingvery clear that it's not going
to go any further than justflirting.
But that's where she canincorporate kind of like the
dirty talk.
Or did you see me like how I,you know, got that guy's phone
number and you know couples whogo to the bar and like she
pretends she's single and thehusband's, like you know, over
in the corner watching the cuckchair in the restaurant or in
(21:05):
the bar and um watching herflirt with other guys.
Like, oh my god, that's prettysafe, I think.
And, um, super hot, like youcan have so much fun with that.
Like, if she's up for that, oh,the fun adventures that you can
have would be so great.
So, yes, there's a lot that youcan do that involves cuckolding
(21:31):
.
That might flip that littlecuck switch in your brain and
give you your little boner andmake fun times for both of you
that don't actually involve hersleeping with another guy.
It's just a matter of sittingdown and talking to her about.
You know what that might looklike and and could you actually
(21:52):
do that together.
Now, if she's in, if the reasonwhy she was a hard no to
cuckolding was because she thisis just too much for her to ask,
for you to ask of her, this istoo much to put on her plate,
then all I'm going to say tothat is like, maybe she's in a
different place today than shewas back then.
(22:13):
You said that you guys had thisconversation a long time ago
and that you've been together along time.
Maybe this was something thatat that time just did not work
for her.
She just felt like no, that'stoo much work, it's another job
I got to do, it's a chore, it'ssomething that I just can't take
that on.
(22:33):
I don't foresee that everhappening.
Maybe things have changed sincethen.
Everybody grows and evolves andrelationships grow and evolve,
and I think it's totally fairfor you to check in and just
figure out if that's still thecase or not.
And if she's still like, yeah,I'm just overwhelmed or whatever
(22:54):
, then maybe that this is theopportunity to really bring in a
kink aware couples therapistwho might be able to help you
guys kind of get over that orwork through it or figure out if
indeed there is no way aroundthat barrier.
And I will put in the shownotes for today's episode a link
(23:17):
to kink aware professionalsdirectory in the US and also a
link for a resource in Australia.
So, jim, lastly, I will just saythat, yes, I think it is
totally okay for you to bringthis up and to talk about it,
revisit this, even though shesaid it was a hard no back then,
(23:40):
because, as, even though shesaid it was a hard no back then,
because, as and I appreciatethat you said you don't want it
to be about you or all about you.
At the end of the day, this isabout both of you and your
desires and your feelings andyour fantasies do matter, and
even if you are in a submissiverole in a female-led
(24:03):
relationship, you absolutelymatter.
What you desire absolutelymatters and it should matter to
her.
Okay, I'm also going to postthis question out there in the
Queens Quarters community.
That's my free access communityfor limited free access for
everyone.
All you have to do is sign up.
That's at venuscuckoldresscomand I'm going to put this in
(24:27):
there and you can chime in aswell on what your thoughts are
on this question, this topic.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Hi Venus.
So I've had this fantasy foryears and I finally told my wife
about it a few months back andI really researched and prepared
the explanation of why I findthe idea of her being a hot wife
or cuckolding arousing at all.
(25:04):
She was like I get it.
She pretty much said it wouldnever happen, it's not her thing
at all, and she talked abouthow at this stage of her life
she needs to love someone, tohave sex with them, and there's
just too much risk involved andI totally understand all that
and I'm accepting that this willnever happen in real life.
But I asked her if she'd be opento role playing about it and
she said she would, but shedidn't know where to start.
It's just like such a foreignconcept to her and it's not
(25:26):
something that arouses her torole play.
So she gets super awkward anduncomfortable and draws a blank
and she has a hard time talkingabout sex in general and we
haven't even ever role playedanything before because she
feels awkward doing it and Idon't want her to feel
uncomfortable.
So I was wondering if you hadany tips for me on how I can
help her get better or more intothe idea of role-playing,
(25:48):
Because if we could role-play,that could scratch my itch and I
could definitely be fine withnot doing anything like this in
real life.
So what do you think?
Thanks so much.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I love this question and it does kind of piggyback on
what we were just talking aboutwith role play and teasing and
all that good stuff and all thefun that you can have around
cuckolding without her actuallysleeping with another guy.
So we're to start with this.
Okay, I hate that word roleplay because I feel like I
totally get it.
(26:18):
It's awkward as fuck and I II'm not, I'm not a big fan of
like the what you think of whenyou think of that word role play
, and to me that in my mind it'slike you're setting a scene.
It's kind of like how you watchcuck porn and there's, like I'm
(26:40):
talking about like professionalcuck porn where it's like
there's like this likescreenplay going on where you
know a ride and like, or youknow, like it's some super
(27:04):
cheesy like storyline and she'sgot to like play this the scene
out with her boyfriend or herhusband or whatever, where
they're gonna like pretend to docuckolding and I don't know.
I can't think of anything lessfun and less sexy than that
(27:25):
Because, like it just in my mindfeels very fake and very forced
and just really like a bonerkiller for me, really A lady
boner killer, and I don't knowI'm assuming that, like your
girlfriend is or your partner isfeeling the same way, and so I
(27:46):
just I hate that word role play.
To me it seems forced, it seemslike something that you're like
setting the stage for and it'slike really fake and not very
fun.
And you have to be good at likeacting and you got to
constantly think about like ismy partner buying into this?
Does this seem real?
At like acting and you got toconstantly think about like is
my partner buying into this?
Does this seem real?
Like I got to do this at acertain level where it seems
(28:07):
like the real thing and like thepressure to do that and I don't
know I get it.
So I don't think that it'sprobably ideal to think about it
as role play.
I think it's probably better tothink about it as like just
having fun and playing a gametogether and incorporating
(28:30):
little things here and there andjust playing with that instead,
and what I mean by that is okay.
First of all, I'll say if sheyou said she's not really even
comfortable talking about sexand I get that, because I know
lots of women and lots of guyswho are not comfortable having
(28:52):
those conversations, let's faceit.
I would say in a lot of vanillarelationships that's not
something that just comesnaturally.
That's not something that justcomes naturally.
That's like a skill you have tohave to be able to sit down and
be vulnerable in the sex talkdepartment.
That's not something that a lotof couples have gotten to or
(29:16):
feel comfortable with, orsomething that they do regularly
is talk about that kind ofthing.
So if that's where she's at, ifthat's really her level of
comfort is like not going therewhen it comes to that
conversation then she'sdefinitely not going to be
comfortable with any kind ofplay in this department.
(29:37):
And I could totally understandwhy she wouldn't be comfortable
with cuckolding, because I'msure that that's just really far
out there for her.
But anyway, if she's really notcomfortable talking about sex,
then you guys uh, you've gotsome work to do together and,
(29:57):
yeah, she might want to thinkabout going to a therapist, a
sex aware, kink aware, kinkfriendly therapist, to learn the
skills to be comfortabletalking about sex.
And if she's not ready to evendo that, there's the book Tell
Me what you Want by Dr JustinLay Miller, which has in the
(30:22):
back of that book OK, it'sfascinating book as it is, but
in the back of the book he givessome really great advice on how
to talk to your partner aboutyour desires and how to receive
that information well and all ofthat sort of stuff and how to
build on that together.
So that could be a start, butdefinitely she needs to feel
comfortable talking about sexand so think about therapy.
(30:47):
That might help, okay.
So once she's comfortabletalking about sex, I would
definitely, like I say, avoidthat kind of like the stigma
around or a stereotype aroundrole play that were those word
role play because, um, I thinkif you talk about think about it
(31:08):
more as like a mentalstriptease, she might be more
easy, easily able to like,picture what that is.
Because, like all women knowwhat a striptease is, we all
know that we might not becomfortable doing physically
doing a striptease is.
We all know that we might notbe comfortable doing physically
(31:31):
doing a striptease, but we knowwhat that is, we know what the
purpose of it is.
And if you get her to thinkabout it as like a psychological
striptease, like okay, I mightnot be able to picture what that
actually is, but I kind ofunderstand how that works.
Like this is just going to belike a fun little game where
you're going to like press hisbuttons to turn him on
psychologically.
(31:52):
Okay, and if you can explain it, that's it in that way to her,
she might be able to be likeOkay, yeah, maybe I can do this
kind of thing and that might besomething that you can get into
more easily as well, becauseit's less pressure of like
having to set up this like sceneand this pretend play and like
all of that shit that goes alongwith that.
I know that in the kink worldsetting, doing a quote unquote
(32:15):
like a scene is like that's likea normal thing, that's like a
very common thing, and thenpeople are really comfortable
doing that.
But I don't think that eitherof you come from the kink world
and so this is foreign and thisis new, and so it's baby steps
right now.
Okay, what she needs to do,what do you both need to do?
(32:36):
Because this is a two waystreet.
I talk a lot about like, okay,she needs to learn about you and
your cuckolding desires, but itgoes the other way too.
Like you need to really learnabout what turns her on too, and
she might not even know thatyet, but eventually you will
know this and she will know thisabout you.
But she needs to figure outwhat it is that turns you on.
(33:00):
And that's so easy to say, butit's a little bit more difficult
because that involves herreally kind of extracting that
from your cuck brain and youneed to help her to do that.
So that involves theconversations around what turns
you on, and this is why goesback to what I said about if
(33:21):
she's not ready to talk aboutsex yet, then she's got to learn
those skills first.
But you guys need to talk aboutand figure out what exactly
turns you on, and maybe youdon't even know all the things
that turn you on.
You haven't thought about it ina way where you can articulate
that to your partner yet.
So maybe you've got some workto do with this, but you need to
really sit down and figure itout.
(33:41):
So she needs to write down thesewhat I call like cuck triggers,
those little things that shecan say or do that would really
turn you on, things that maybeyou've seen in porn or you've
imagined or you fantasized about.
That like really you're like ohyeah, that does it for me.
(34:02):
She needs to come up with thislittle magic little list and
write it down and then with thatinformation she can get
creative.
So I'm going to give you someexamples on that.
So lots of guys, lots of guyswith cuck desires, cuck
fantasies, really get off on thewhole angsty bit of her
(34:29):
sleeping with another guy who isdifferent in some way than him,
and so sometimes that meansmore capable sexually than him,
sometimes it means just avariation in experience.
Maybe this guy has, like moreskills than him or something
like that.
But lots of guys have thatfantasy and so they want to know
(34:51):
all of the details around hersleeping with somebody else.
And so, without her sleepingwith another guy, what she can
do is actually talk aboutexperience, sex experiences that
she's had previously withprevious boyfriends, or one
night stands or whatever guysthat she's been with before.
(35:13):
And I know that, like my firstcock boyfriend loved to hear
about my body count.
He loved it, and the more Italked about it the hotter it
was for him, and so like Iunderstood that shit, this, this
really turns this guy on, likethe more slutty I have been in
my before him, like the more helikes to hear about it.
(35:35):
So I knew that that wassomething I could play with.
So she could, if you're intothat, she can talk about maybe
the biggest guy that she's everbeen with, or the guy that was
like so fun to ride his dickdick.
Or the guy that fucked her inthis way that you, she had never
(35:55):
been fucked before, like it wasso unique, or whatever, like
there's lots of things that shecould talk about that would
really get you turned on and sothat would be really fun.
And the more details that shegives, the better and and just
really get into it.
She could even exaggerate somedetails.
(36:16):
Who the fuck cares?
This is about pressing yourcuck buttons.
This is all about cuck triggers.
So she could really get into it.
I mean, go for it, girl.
Another example is okay, a lotof guys are into small penis
humiliation and I remember myfirst cuck boyfriend.
(36:38):
He was like his dick size waslike actually a way above
average, and yet he really likedsmall penis humiliation and
loved, loved it when I talkedabout having sex with guys who
were bigger than him.
So there you go.
Not all cucks have small dicks,but that's just a stereotype.
(37:00):
But anyway, if you're into that, if you're like, yeah, I find
that really hot, that thought ofher sleeping with another guy
who was like way bigger than me,then things that she can do to
play with that, that wholescenario without actually
sleeping with another guy.
This is one of my favorites,because it's like so easy when
(37:24):
you guys are having sex.
All she needs to do is justwhisper into your ear are you in
?
Yet Like I can't even feel you,and sometimes that's the truth.
Um, I guarantee, if that issomething that gets you off her
(37:49):
doing that, oh my god, you'rejust gonna like instantly come
and lose control.
Um, it is such an easy thing todo and sometimes it can be so
unexpected for the guy that he'sjust like oh, oh god.
Oh, it couldn't be easier.
(38:09):
So, yeah, are you in?
Yet I can barely feel you.
And then she could easily saysomething like I wish that you
could go as deep as so and sofill in the blank like some guy
that she's had before, who she'stalked about, to you Anyway,
(38:31):
these are like easy littlethings that she could do that
will just like if you get intosmall penis humiliation, you
will fucking die, like you'regoing to die.
You'll be like oh my God, thatis the hottest thing, hottest
fucking thing Because it's rightas you're having sex with her,
(38:51):
right as you're like reallygoing for it, it's just so fun.
The other thing that you can dois buy like a sheath, I think
it's called.
It's like this, like dick thatgoes over top of your dick and
it's bigger and like girthierthan yours and you fuck her with
(39:17):
that.
So obviously you can't feelanything because this thing's
over your dick, but you're in,you're like controlling it, just
like it was your dick.
And, um, she gets to enjoyhaving getting fucked with a
bigger dick and you get tolisten to the difference in how
(39:37):
she moans, how her body reactsSuper fucking, hot and very I
don't want to say humiliating,but it is at the same time for
you but super fun for her.
So that's another thing thatyou can do.
And if you guys are in or if youare into interracial cuckolding
(39:57):
, you get really you get off onthe whole black bull thing.
Like everybody knows, I'm intothat.
Okay, there's lots that you cando with that, to play around
with that without her actuallysleeping with another guy.
So you can get these temporaryQueen of Spades tattoos I know
tons of people who have them andyou can play with that.
She can put those on and it'llbe really sexy, really fun.
(40:20):
There's Queen of Spades undies,there's t-shirts, there's all
this different stuff that youcan wear, and then, of course,
you can get some nice big blackdildos and play with that in the
bedroom and that can be a lotof fun, one of the most fun
things that you can do.
(40:41):
That's not like I don'tconsider it as like role play,
but it is just like the fuckingmental striptease, the cuck
striptease.
It is like, so fun, okay.
Okay, I've heard of couplesdoing this.
You guys, this is so fuckingawesome.
I don't know what the game iscalled.
Somebody's got to come up withan actual name for this game
(41:02):
because it's like.
I call it like is it true?
Is it true, who knows?
You'll never fucking know,cucky, you will never fucking
know.
Um, it's where the girlfriend orwife she will make up shit, um,
all the time about stuff thatshe so-called did, um, so maybe
(41:25):
she did it, maybe she didn't,who knows, you'll fucking never
know.
And some examples of this arelike um, if she's out with her
girlfriends and her husbandknows, okay, she's out with her
girlfriends and, um, she'shaving a great time and maybe
she.
She'll like text her husband orboyfriend, whatever, and just
(41:48):
be like honey, I just gave likea super fucking hot guy my
number and leave it at that andthen not say anything else about
it.
And maybe it's true, maybe it'snot, but she'll never admit
what.
If it actually was true, he'llnever know and it'll probably
(42:12):
drive Kucky absolutely fuckingcrazy because, like he'll just
you know in his mind is going tobe racing like it was.
Did she actually do that?
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
And some other things are likeif she comes home late one day
she can just say something likehmm yeah, I totally made out
with a super fucking hotbartender.
(42:32):
He was flirting with me allnight.
Oh my God, he'll never know,he'll never know and it'll drive
him wild just wondering.
Maybe she can send herboyfriend or husband some sexy
nudes or something like thatwhile he's at work and attach
(42:54):
something and say something likeI just sent this to the hot
bartender from the other night,or like something like that.
Basically, like she's justmaking up these little things
and this and obviously this is afun game that they both agreed
to and like it could be true.
It might not be.
You'll never fucking know and Idon't know what AI could do
(43:20):
these days.
I really don't fucking know.
But wouldn't it be hot if shecould actually like create these
hot photos, some sexy, steamypics of her with some like
random guy, and it be it, looklike the real fucking thing, and
she send it to her husband andjust be like, yeah, this is the
guy that I, this is the reasonwhy I'm coming home late, or
(43:42):
something like who knows?
I just think there's so manyawesome, really fun
possibilities that you can fuckwith your cuckie's mind and he
will love it.
And you don't necessarily haveto sleep with these other guys
to be able to drive him fuckingwild like that, because all it
(44:03):
is is just like a mental game.
Really, honestly, that's all itis.
And if you guys are both havingfun, then fucking do it.
And if you guys are both havingfun, then fucking do it.
Last but not least, you canhave her connect with some other
women who are in cuckoldingrelationships and she can find,
you know, some friendships, someconnections like that with some
women who you know are doingthis with their actual husband
(44:26):
and get some ideas andinspiration, and I find that
those connections that womenmake in this lifestyle are
absolutely so valuable for that.
So keep that in mind.
Maybe, if she feels comfortablewith that, she can reach out to
some of these women throughsocial media, or maybe they've
(44:46):
been guests on podcasts before,or whatever.
Some of the things that you cando together are to listen to
some podcasts together.
You can get some inspirationand ideas from that, as well as
read.
You can also read some bookstogether or listen to some audio
books.
So Insatiable Wives by Dr DavidLay is a great book that you
(45:08):
can also listen to together onaudiobook, and I also, like I
mentioned before, tell Me whatyou Want by Dr Justin Lay.
Miller Links will be in theshow notes for today.
That's an excellent book whereyou can get some ideas as well
as learn about some otherfantasies too.
Okay, that's all I have to sayfor you as far as like my advice
(45:31):
for how to role play quote,unquote role play when it comes
to doing sexy stuff in thislifestyle without her actually
sleeping with other guys.
I hope it's been helpful.
I appreciate you calling inwith your question and I'm sure
I'm absolutely positive.
There's going to be people guyswho listening to this episode
(45:53):
right now who are going to findthis helpful because they're in
the same situation as you.
So thank you for that.
All right, if you want to sendin your sexy confession, your
question or your comment for theshow, all you have to do is go
to venuscuckledresscom.
For the show, all you have todo is go to venuscuckledresscom,
(46:14):
click on the link that says thepodcast, and it's really easy.
You just press a button, sendit in and, who knows, maybe
it'll be on the show.
That's going to be it fortoday's episode.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Make sure you go tovenuscuckledresscom.
That's where you can book aprivate chat with me and you can
also join the Queens Quarterscommunity and get all the
(46:37):
amazing benefits, like theprivate podcast and the helpful
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Oh, and you can also submit aquestion or confession for the
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(46:57):
Just go to venuscuckledresscomand click on the link that says
the podcast.
Make sure you follow me on BlueSky Social.
Yes, I said Blue Sky Social.
Fuck Twitter.
My handle there is atCuckoldress V.
All right, that's it fortoday's show.
You guys, we'll see you nexttime.
Bye.
This is the Venus Cuckoldress podcast, a place to
learn all things cuckolding forthe curious, for the passionate
(00:36):
and for the sexually empoweredwoman who wants it all.
Let's go, think you're going tolove it, because I have heard
about people having this issuefor a long time.
Lots of you, I'm sure listening, are going to be able to come
out.
Come away, hopefully, with somegreat advice and tips and
suggestions about what to dowhen your wife is a hard no to
(00:57):
sleeping with other guys, likeshe's just like fuck no.
Or she's like a maybe to roleplay or having some fun with the
idea around it, but notactually sleeping with other
guys.
And how?
What do you do?
Where do you?
Where do you start?
How do you do that together?
So thank you to everybody who'sbeen sending in your voice
(01:18):
notes, your confessions,comments and questions for the
show over the last severalmonths.
I've not been ignoring you.
I just haven't been able to doone of these confessions
episodes, so I will eventuallyget to them.
Maybe, maybe yours might showup on a future show.
If you are interested insubmitting a question, comment
(01:38):
or steaming confession for theshow, all you have to do is go
to venuscuckledresscom.
Click on the link that says thepodcast and on there is super
easy.
You just click a button and youhave up to five minutes to
submit your question, comment orconfession and you never know,
it might end up on the show.
(01:59):
And I am going to be talkingabout this topic.
We're going to go get into it alittle bit more.
So if you have something to say, if you have something you want
to share, a question you wantto ask about today's show, join
me in the Queens Quarterscommunity.
It's free for limited access.
All you have to do is sign upon venuscuckledresscom and voila
, you'll get access to the liveevent, which will be happening
(02:22):
on Wednesday, august 6th, at 11am Pacific time, that is, 2 pm
Eastern.
So it's a live event.
You can pop in, you can chatwith me and others and we can
have a discussion about today'stopic, and you can find the link
to register for that in theshow notes for today.
All right, before we jump intotoday's episode, here is a quick
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Speaker 2 (04:34):
Hello Venus, this is Jim Hsu.
I have been a fan for such along time.
It's really great to see howfar you've come.
I was a fan before the podcasteven started and I love
listening to all the podcasts.
But anyway, the motivation formy message today is maybe an
(04:55):
open discussion or seeking someadvice or maybe a little help
from the community on some ofthe thoughts I have.
A number of years ago I got intoa relationship.
I'm in a relationship now sameone.
A number of years ago.
Early on in the relationship Iexpressed my interests in a
(05:16):
number of things, tried to, youknow, do the right thing
communicating what I like, mydislikes you know things like
that Primarily focusing on whatI like, my dislikes you know
things like that Primarilyfocusing on, you know, the
female-led relationship.
And then, of course, myexperience with cuckolding,
(05:38):
which was maybe not quite asfulfilling as it could have been
, but it was an experience thatintroduced me to cuckolding.
That introduced me tocuckolding and I, you know,
figured out, I guess, that I ama cuckold through that you know
long process of, you know year,year and a half of discovery
with in a previous relationship.
But anyway, my current partnerhas fully and totally embraced a
(06:04):
female led relationship,absolutely loves it.
It's it's totally for her.
Um, she's even to the point ofindulging my foot fetish as part
of the dynamic.
I mean, it is absolutely great,you know, however, um was a
hard no on cuckolding, was ahard no on cuckolding, just not
(06:29):
for her.
Um, it's not something foreverybody.
I can understand that, um.
I I put it out there andcommunicated it to her and um
did my part.
Uh, and then kind of put it outof my mind.
I I did not want to upset thedynamic that had been developing
on the female-led relationshipside.
I feel like as a submissive guyin relationships, I felt like I
hit gold with that and the lastthing I wanted to do was upset
(06:53):
that apple cart.
And I thought perhaps theinterest in cuckolding might
wane.
It has not.
I think about it all the time.
I don't.
I mean, it's part of me, it's,it's shaped who I am.
Uh, at discovery process, uh,years ago, shoot, it's probably
(07:14):
been.
Uh, almost 20 years ago, um,and never, uh, never had it
again, never had that type ofrelationship again and only
mustered the courage to to sayit in this new uh relationship.
That's, uh, quite a few yearson now.
Um, as a, you know, an effort tocommunicate and be open.
(07:36):
Uh, it has and, like I said, ithas not waned, um, so I'm at a
crossroads.
Should I bring it up again?
You know, is that kind ofleaning into the neighborhood,
of becoming about me when I knowshe was a hard?
No, I mean, it's been put outthere so that option is
(07:58):
available to her, but it's neverbeen brought up again.
It's never been mentioned.
It's just not who she is, butit's never been brought up again
.
It's never been mentioned, it'sjust not who she is.
So I don't want to make it aboutme, but I also want to make
sure I, you know, communicate myneeds and interests as well.
Is that, is that advisable?
I don't know.
I don't know where to go withthat and I thought, before I
(08:21):
made any moves or changes orupset the apple cart, so to
speak, I would throw it outthere to the community and to
you.
Maybe it's podcast worthy tohave a discussion, or maybe just
receive some advice, and Ivalue your thoughts on this as
an authority in this area.
So I appreciate your time andthanks for listening.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
So first off, I just want to say a big thank you to
Jim for calling in and askingthis question, because I get
asked this a lot, so I'm happyto talk about it and give some
suggestions or advice.
For anybody who is not aware ofwho Jim Hsu is, he's an author
and I actually have one of hisbooks and he writes about female
(09:12):
domination and foot fetishesand you can buy his books on
Amazon.
It's Jim and then last namespelled S-H-U-E.
I will put the link in the shownotes for today if you're
interested in buying some of hisbooks.
Okay, what to do when your wifesays hard no to cuckolding?
(09:35):
And I really appreciate how youworded this, jim, because
you're already in an FLR.
You don't want this to makethis sound like this is about
you.
You don't want to be toppingfrom the bottom or whatever
people call it, but this isimportant to you, so do you
bring it up again?
And I totally get that.
You don't want to risk what youalready have, because you did
(09:58):
kind of win the lottery when itcomes to being submissive and
having a wife who is reallyhappy to embrace that about you
and embrace your foot fetish.
Like, yeah, I get it.
That's not something you wantto throw away.
That's not something you wantto even risk throwing away.
So this is going to be tricky.
(10:20):
First of all, I need to knowwhat's the reason why she said
no.
And I find this with a lot ofguys who call in and or write in
or just like, okay, my wifesaid no, what do I do?
And they go on and on and onabout what should I do.
What should I do, but very few,if any of them, actually
(10:40):
explain her reasons as to whyshe said no.
And that's the important part,right?
Because I can't tell you whatto do if I don't know exactly
why she's feeling the way thatshe feels.
And you should know that.
You obviously should know thereasons why she said no, hard no
(11:01):
.
So I'm just going to talk alittle bit about a few of the
common reasons why women say noand what you can do if either
one of those answers were one ofthe ones that she gave you.
But first of all, I'd sayprobably the most common reason
why women say no to cuckoldingis they either have like an icky
(11:24):
feeling about it, like theyjust can't get over the fact
that you know sleeping withstrangers or they're just, they
have a real love affair withmonogamy and anything outside of
that is giving them the ick,and I totally get that.
There's a lot of women who justthe thought of this is just
like, nah, I could never gothere.
(11:45):
And if that's the case thenshe's probably not ever going to
be into it and it is going tostay a hard no, forever.
But it could be that maybe shefeels like cuckolding is just
too risky for her and Icompletely understand that and
for those of you listening, thiscould mean a variety of things,
(12:07):
like I'm talking about risk asin risk for STIs and risk for
her safety.
I mean she's meeting up withrandom guys who she doesn't know
.
There could be all sorts ofthings that happen he drugs, her
rapes, her assaults, her Like.
For myself, I had a few reallyscary instances, but the worst
(12:32):
was when I went to go meet upwith a guy who I had not met
before and I had a bad feelingabout it, but I went anyway.
I was reassured by my cuckboyfriend at the time that you
know, it's all good, you can go,and it turned out to be
horrific.
I was told at one point duringthe night that I was not allowed
(12:56):
to leave and I was reallyfucking scared.
I was no longer free to leave.
I was told that I was going tobe staying there and it was
really scary because this guywas getting violent and I had to
.
Luckily I was able to phone thepolice, but I ran, I physically
(13:16):
ran out of there and hid and itwas on the phone with the 911
dispatcher and I was scared.
I mean, I was shook.
I have, ever since thathappened I rarely meet up with
guys randomly.
Like that ever again like thatscared me to the core, and so
that's a real concern safety.
(13:38):
But also there's a.
She might perceive it as a riskto your relationship or a risk
to you psychologically, mentally, a risk for your mental health.
Like how would he cope withthis?
He says it turns him on, butthis is jealousy we're talking
about.
This affects guys in a lot ofreally negative ways
(13:58):
historically.
And also a risk for yourrelationship, as in like, what
happens if this doesn't work out?
And he weaponizes this againstme, the fact that I slept with
somebody else and, you know,does this mean the end of our
relationship?
And so there, yes, there arebig risks that women have to
consider when it comes toembarking in this journey
(14:22):
together down the cuckoldingroad, to embarking in this
journey together down thecuckolding road, or maybe her
reason for it being a hard no.
At that time when you talked toher about it a long time ago,
maybe at that point in her life,this was just too much to ask
for, and I get that too.
Like, maybe she was just busyas fuck, working like crazy long
(14:46):
hours at work and this askingthis of her was just too much to
add to that already reallychaotic, busy plate that she had
going on.
And that is fair.
And that's why I think it'scrazy that, like, some guys
bring this up to their wife.
When you have babies newbornbabies at home, little kids at
(15:10):
home, toddlers, multiple kids athome Like, for fuck's sakes,
you're bringing this up at themost crazy, chaotic, extremely
stressful part of her life andyou want her to now dress up
sexy and take this on and go anddo this thing and like be this
sex diva and everything likethat.
(15:31):
Wow, there's a lot to ask forthat part of her life where
she's just barely holding ittogether, sleep deprived and her
body's changed and it's crazy.
Okay, that's a lot.
So I get it could be that atthat point in her life it was
just too much to ask, notsomething that she could take on
, and it was a hard no, becauseit felt like a chore.
(15:55):
But you know, I think thatthere's several things that
maybe you might be able to do.
Like I said, if this is an ickyfeeling for her and she's just
like way too in love withmonogamy to even, you know,
entertain the thought ofanything outside of monogamy,
then she's probably, this willprobably never be a thing that
(16:17):
she's willing to do.
Okay, but what if it's safety?
What if it is safety forherself or safety for you or the
relationship that she'sconcerned about?
There are things that you cando, lots of things that you can
do together to kind of likescratch that cuckolding itch, to
flip that cuckolding switch inyour brain that gives you a
(16:39):
boner and makes you all excited,makes you all excited.
There's stuff, lots of thingsthat you can do, that don't
include her actually fuckingother dudes.
Okay, tons of stuff.
And these are the honestly, forme, these are the fun parts of
cuckolding, I think, where wethe whole her sleeping with
(16:59):
other guys thing is way toofucking overrated.
And I get that's the pornscript, that's the ultimate
fantasy, that's the getting yourcuck cherry popped kind of
moment that all guys have intheir mind that they're not a
real cuck unless she slept withanother dude.
Well, I'm here to say that isbullshit.
There's lots of couples outthere who, singles even to, who
(17:21):
are living their best cuckoldinglives in different ways than
just that.
Okay, lots, and this issomething I've learned over the
years which just completely hasblown my mind and I've learned
to absolutely fucking love aboutthis lifestyle is that there's
way more creativity than justher sleeping with other guys,
(17:43):
and what I'm talking about isthings like okay, you can have a
lot of fun with dirty talk,even when you're just having sex
together or you're eating herout or whatever, and she's just,
you know, loving it andwhatever.
She can say these little thingsto you, little comments about a
(18:03):
previous guy that she was withbefore you, or guys celebrities
she thinks is hot, or like, oh,whatever, just her deepest,
darkest fantasies.
That might include, you know,some different type of guy.
I mean, there's a lot of thingsthat she could say.
There's a lot of things thatyou could say.
The stuff that you could saytogether in those sexy moments
that can really touch oncuckolding and that is so fun,
(18:27):
like, so fun.
You can really get into that.
But there's also like theteasing part.
If you are somebody who getsinto like the whole, loves the
size comparison part or the skincontrast or interracial or
whatever, like there's a lot ofstuff that she can tease you
(18:47):
about that has to do withcuckolding, that doesn't involve
her sleeping with another guybut can absolutely work you up
into your little cuck frenzy inyour mind and make it so that
you lose control.
But also, oh my gosh, okay, lotsof toys that you can play with.
(19:09):
I know lots of couples whobrought toys into the bedroom
different size dildos anddifferent color dildos and
whatever, and you know, assignthem a name and almost like
dirty talk with them.
Like she can pretend that, likeshe's with this other guy when
she's having sex with this dildoor whatever.
Like that does it for a lot ofguys.
(19:31):
Just the creativity, theimagination about her doing that
with somebody else.
That does it for them.
It's super fun and exciting.
But then of course, you canwatch cuck porn together.
I personally don't like a lotof the.
I don't.
I don't really love a lot ofthe cuck porn that's out there,
but maybe you guys can make afun little adventure of it and
(19:54):
try to find ones that youactually like together and watch
it together, like that would be, so I think that would be
really hot.
I've had tons of guys over theyears send me their favorite
cuck porn videos.
Okay, I get it.
You guys have lotsno-transcript, um, okay, also
(20:21):
okay.
Last but not least, this is likethe easiest one, I think.
But that has the most rewardwhen it comes to doing
cuckolding without actually hersleeping with other guys, is
maybe she would be okay withsimply flirting with other guys
(20:42):
and knowing that it and beingvery clear that it's not going
to go any further than justflirting.
But that's where she canincorporate kind of like the
dirty talk.
Or did you see me like how I,you know, got that guy's phone
number and you know couples whogo to the bar and like she
pretends she's single and thehusband's, like you know, over
in the corner watching the cuckchair in the restaurant or in
(21:05):
the bar and um watching herflirt with other guys.
Like, oh my god, that's prettysafe, I think.
And, um, super hot, like youcan have so much fun with that.
Like, if she's up for that, oh,the fun adventures that you can
have would be so great.
So, yes, there's a lot that youcan do that involves cuckolding
(21:31):
.
That might flip that littlecuck switch in your brain and
give you your little boner andmake fun times for both of you
that don't actually involve hersleeping with another guy.
It's just a matter of sittingdown and talking to her about.
You know what that might looklike and and could you actually
(21:52):
do that together.
Now, if she's in, if the reasonwhy she was a hard no to
cuckolding was because she thisis just too much for her to ask,
for you to ask of her, this istoo much to put on her plate,
then all I'm going to say tothat is like, maybe she's in a
different place today than shewas back then.
(22:13):
You said that you guys had thisconversation a long time ago
and that you've been together along time.
Maybe this was something thatat that time just did not work
for her.
She just felt like no, that'stoo much work, it's another job
I got to do, it's a chore, it'ssomething that I just can't take
that on.
(22:33):
I don't foresee that everhappening.
Maybe things have changed sincethen.
Everybody grows and evolves andrelationships grow and evolve,
and I think it's totally fairfor you to check in and just
figure out if that's still thecase or not.
And if she's still like, yeah,I'm just overwhelmed or whatever
(22:54):
, then maybe that this is theopportunity to really bring in a
kink aware couples therapistwho might be able to help you
guys kind of get over that orwork through it or figure out if
indeed there is no way aroundthat barrier.
And I will put in the shownotes for today's episode a link
(23:17):
to kink aware professionalsdirectory in the US and also a
link for a resource in Australia.
So, jim, lastly, I will just saythat, yes, I think it is
totally okay for you to bringthis up and to talk about it,
revisit this, even though shesaid it was a hard no back then,
(23:40):
because, as, even though shesaid it was a hard no back then,
because, as and I appreciatethat you said you don't want it
to be about you or all about you.
At the end of the day, this isabout both of you and your
desires and your feelings andyour fantasies do matter, and
even if you are in a submissiverole in a female-led
(24:03):
relationship, you absolutelymatter.
What you desire absolutelymatters and it should matter to
her.
Okay, I'm also going to postthis question out there in the
Queens Quarters community.
That's my free access communityfor limited free access for
everyone.
All you have to do is sign up.
That's at venuscuckoldresscomand I'm going to put this in
(24:27):
there and you can chime in aswell on what your thoughts are
on this question, this topic.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Hi Venus.
So I've had this fantasy foryears and I finally told my wife
about it a few months back andI really researched and prepared
the explanation of why I findthe idea of her being a hot wife
or cuckolding arousing at all.
(25:04):
She was like I get it.
She pretty much said it wouldnever happen, it's not her thing
at all, and she talked abouthow at this stage of her life
she needs to love someone, tohave sex with them, and there's
just too much risk involved andI totally understand all that
and I'm accepting that this willnever happen in real life.
But I asked her if she'd be opento role playing about it and
she said she would, but shedidn't know where to start.
It's just like such a foreignconcept to her and it's not
(25:26):
something that arouses her torole play.
So she gets super awkward anduncomfortable and draws a blank
and she has a hard time talkingabout sex in general and we
haven't even ever role playedanything before because she
feels awkward doing it and Idon't want her to feel
uncomfortable.
So I was wondering if you hadany tips for me on how I can
help her get better or more intothe idea of role-playing,
(25:48):
Because if we could role-play,that could scratch my itch and I
could definitely be fine withnot doing anything like this in
real life.
So what do you think?
Thanks so much.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I love this question and it does kind of piggyback on
what we were just talking aboutwith role play and teasing and
all that good stuff and all thefun that you can have around
cuckolding without her actuallysleeping with another guy.
So we're to start with this.
Okay, I hate that word roleplay because I feel like I
totally get it.
(26:18):
It's awkward as fuck and I II'm not, I'm not a big fan of
like the what you think of whenyou think of that word role play
, and to me that in my mind it'slike you're setting a scene.
It's kind of like how you watchcuck porn and there's, like I'm
(26:40):
talking about like professionalcuck porn where it's like
there's like this likescreenplay going on where you
know a ride and like, or youknow, like it's some super
(27:04):
cheesy like storyline and she'sgot to like play this the scene
out with her boyfriend or herhusband or whatever, where
they're gonna like pretend to docuckolding and I don't know.
I can't think of anything lessfun and less sexy than that
(27:25):
Because, like it just in my mindfeels very fake and very forced
and just really like a bonerkiller for me, really A lady
boner killer, and I don't knowI'm assuming that, like your
girlfriend is or your partner isfeeling the same way, and so I
(27:46):
just I hate that word role play.
To me it seems forced, it seemslike something that you're like
setting the stage for and it'slike really fake and not very
fun.
And you have to be good at likeacting and you got to
constantly think about like ismy partner buying into this?
Does this seem real?
At like acting and you got toconstantly think about like is
my partner buying into this?
Does this seem real?
Like I got to do this at acertain level where it seems
(28:07):
like the real thing and like thepressure to do that and I don't
know I get it.
So I don't think that it'sprobably ideal to think about it
as role play.
I think it's probably better tothink about it as like just
having fun and playing a gametogether and incorporating
(28:30):
little things here and there andjust playing with that instead,
and what I mean by that is okay.
First of all, I'll say if sheyou said she's not really even
comfortable talking about sexand I get that, because I know
lots of women and lots of guyswho are not comfortable having
(28:52):
those conversations, let's faceit.
I would say in a lot of vanillarelationships that's not
something that just comesnaturally.
That's not something that justcomes naturally.
That's like a skill you have tohave to be able to sit down and
be vulnerable in the sex talkdepartment.
That's not something that a lotof couples have gotten to or
(29:16):
feel comfortable with, orsomething that they do regularly
is talk about that kind ofthing.
So if that's where she's at, ifthat's really her level of
comfort is like not going therewhen it comes to that
conversation then she'sdefinitely not going to be
comfortable with any kind ofplay in this department.
(29:37):
And I could totally understandwhy she wouldn't be comfortable
with cuckolding, because I'msure that that's just really far
out there for her.
But anyway, if she's really notcomfortable talking about sex,
then you guys uh, you've gotsome work to do together and,
(29:57):
yeah, she might want to thinkabout going to a therapist, a
sex aware, kink aware, kinkfriendly therapist, to learn the
skills to be comfortabletalking about sex.
And if she's not ready to evendo that, there's the book Tell
Me what you Want by Dr JustinLay Miller, which has in the
(30:22):
back of that book OK, it'sfascinating book as it is, but
in the back of the book he givessome really great advice on how
to talk to your partner aboutyour desires and how to receive
that information well and all ofthat sort of stuff and how to
build on that together.
So that could be a start, butdefinitely she needs to feel
comfortable talking about sexand so think about therapy.
(30:47):
That might help, okay.
So once she's comfortabletalking about sex, I would
definitely, like I say, avoidthat kind of like the stigma
around or a stereotype aroundrole play that were those word
role play because, um, I thinkif you talk about think about it
(31:08):
more as like a mentalstriptease, she might be more
easy, easily able to like,picture what that is.
Because, like all women knowwhat a striptease is, we all
know that we might not becomfortable doing physically
doing a striptease is.
We all know that we might notbe comfortable doing physically
(31:31):
doing a striptease, but we knowwhat that is, we know what the
purpose of it is.
And if you get her to thinkabout it as like a psychological
striptease, like okay, I mightnot be able to picture what that
actually is, but I kind ofunderstand how that works.
Like this is just going to belike a fun little game where
you're going to like press hisbuttons to turn him on
psychologically.
(31:52):
Okay, and if you can explain it, that's it in that way to her,
she might be able to be likeOkay, yeah, maybe I can do this
kind of thing and that might besomething that you can get into
more easily as well, becauseit's less pressure of like
having to set up this like sceneand this pretend play and like
all of that shit that goes alongwith that.
I know that in the kink worldsetting, doing a quote unquote
(32:15):
like a scene is like that's likea normal thing, that's like a
very common thing, and thenpeople are really comfortable
doing that.
But I don't think that eitherof you come from the kink world
and so this is foreign and thisis new, and so it's baby steps
right now.
Okay, what she needs to do,what do you both need to do?
(32:36):
Because this is a two waystreet.
I talk a lot about like, okay,she needs to learn about you and
your cuckolding desires, but itgoes the other way too.
Like you need to really learnabout what turns her on too, and
she might not even know thatyet, but eventually you will
know this and she will know thisabout you.
But she needs to figure outwhat it is that turns you on.
(33:00):
And that's so easy to say, butit's a little bit more difficult
because that involves herreally kind of extracting that
from your cuck brain and youneed to help her to do that.
So that involves theconversations around what turns
you on, and this is why goesback to what I said about if
(33:21):
she's not ready to talk aboutsex yet, then she's got to learn
those skills first.
But you guys need to talk aboutand figure out what exactly
turns you on, and maybe youdon't even know all the things
that turn you on.
You haven't thought about it ina way where you can articulate
that to your partner yet.
So maybe you've got some workto do with this, but you need to
really sit down and figure itout.
(33:41):
So she needs to write down thesewhat I call like cuck triggers,
those little things that shecan say or do that would really
turn you on, things that maybeyou've seen in porn or you've
imagined or you fantasized about.
That like really you're like ohyeah, that does it for me.
(34:02):
She needs to come up with thislittle magic little list and
write it down and then with thatinformation she can get
creative.
So I'm going to give you someexamples on that.
So lots of guys, lots of guyswith cuck desires, cuck
fantasies, really get off on thewhole angsty bit of her
(34:29):
sleeping with another guy who isdifferent in some way than him,
and so sometimes that meansmore capable sexually than him,
sometimes it means just avariation in experience.
Maybe this guy has, like moreskills than him or something
like that.
But lots of guys have thatfantasy and so they want to know
(34:51):
all of the details around hersleeping with somebody else.
And so, without her sleepingwith another guy, what she can
do is actually talk aboutexperience, sex experiences that
she's had previously withprevious boyfriends, or one
night stands or whatever guysthat she's been with before.
(35:13):
And I know that, like my firstcock boyfriend loved to hear
about my body count.
He loved it, and the more Italked about it the hotter it
was for him, and so like Iunderstood that shit, this, this
really turns this guy on, likethe more slutty I have been in
my before him, like the more helikes to hear about it.
(35:35):
So I knew that that wassomething I could play with.
So she could, if you're intothat, she can talk about maybe
the biggest guy that she's everbeen with, or the guy that was
like so fun to ride his dickdick.
Or the guy that fucked her inthis way that you, she had never
(35:55):
been fucked before, like it wasso unique, or whatever, like
there's lots of things that shecould talk about that would
really get you turned on and sothat would be really fun.
And the more details that shegives, the better and and just
really get into it.
She could even exaggerate somedetails.
(36:16):
Who the fuck cares?
This is about pressing yourcuck buttons.
This is all about cuck triggers.
So she could really get into it.
I mean, go for it, girl.
Another example is okay, a lotof guys are into small penis
humiliation and I remember myfirst cuck boyfriend.
(36:38):
He was like his dick size waslike actually a way above
average, and yet he really likedsmall penis humiliation and
loved, loved it when I talkedabout having sex with guys who
were bigger than him.
So there you go.
Not all cucks have small dicks,but that's just a stereotype.
(37:00):
But anyway, if you're into that, if you're like, yeah, I find
that really hot, that thought ofher sleeping with another guy
who was like way bigger than me,then things that she can do to
play with that, that wholescenario without actually
sleeping with another guy.
This is one of my favorites,because it's like so easy when
(37:24):
you guys are having sex.
All she needs to do is justwhisper into your ear are you in
?
Yet Like I can't even feel you,and sometimes that's the truth.
Um, I guarantee, if that issomething that gets you off her
(37:49):
doing that, oh my god, you'rejust gonna like instantly come
and lose control.
Um, it is such an easy thing todo and sometimes it can be so
unexpected for the guy that he'sjust like oh, oh god.
Oh, it couldn't be easier.
(38:09):
So, yeah, are you in?
Yet I can barely feel you.
And then she could easily saysomething like I wish that you
could go as deep as so and sofill in the blank like some guy
that she's had before, who she'stalked about, to you Anyway,
(38:31):
these are like easy littlethings that she could do that
will just like if you get intosmall penis humiliation, you
will fucking die, like you'regoing to die.
You'll be like oh my God, thatis the hottest thing, hottest
fucking thing Because it's rightas you're having sex with her,
(38:51):
right as you're like reallygoing for it, it's just so fun.
The other thing that you can dois buy like a sheath, I think
it's called.
It's like this, like dick thatgoes over top of your dick and
it's bigger and like girthierthan yours and you fuck her with
(39:17):
that.
So obviously you can't feelanything because this thing's
over your dick, but you're in,you're like controlling it, just
like it was your dick.
And, um, she gets to enjoyhaving getting fucked with a
bigger dick and you get tolisten to the difference in how
(39:37):
she moans, how her body reactsSuper fucking, hot and very I
don't want to say humiliating,but it is at the same time for
you but super fun for her.
So that's another thing thatyou can do.
And if you guys are in or if youare into interracial cuckolding
(39:57):
, you get really you get off onthe whole black bull thing.
Like everybody knows, I'm intothat.
Okay, there's lots that you cando with that, to play around
with that without her actuallysleeping with another guy.
So you can get these temporaryQueen of Spades tattoos I know
tons of people who have them andyou can play with that.
She can put those on and it'llbe really sexy, really fun.
(40:20):
There's Queen of Spades undies,there's t-shirts, there's all
this different stuff that youcan wear, and then, of course,
you can get some nice big blackdildos and play with that in the
bedroom and that can be a lotof fun, one of the most fun
things that you can do.
(40:41):
That's not like I don'tconsider it as like role play,
but it is just like the fuckingmental striptease, the cuck
striptease.
It is like, so fun, okay.
Okay, I've heard of couplesdoing this.
You guys, this is so fuckingawesome.
I don't know what the game iscalled.
Somebody's got to come up withan actual name for this game
(41:02):
because it's like.
I call it like is it true?
Is it true, who knows?
You'll never fucking know,cucky, you will never fucking
know.
Um, it's where the girlfriend orwife she will make up shit, um,
all the time about stuff thatshe so-called did, um, so maybe
(41:25):
she did it, maybe she didn't,who knows, you'll fucking never
know.
And some examples of this arelike um, if she's out with her
girlfriends and her husbandknows, okay, she's out with her
girlfriends and, um, she'shaving a great time and maybe
she.
She'll like text her husband orboyfriend, whatever, and just
(41:48):
be like honey, I just gave likea super fucking hot guy my
number and leave it at that andthen not say anything else about
it.
And maybe it's true, maybe it'snot, but she'll never admit
what.
If it actually was true, he'llnever know and it'll probably
(42:12):
drive Kucky absolutely fuckingcrazy because, like he'll just
you know in his mind is going tobe racing like it was.
Did she actually do that?
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
And some other things are likeif she comes home late one day
she can just say something likehmm yeah, I totally made out
with a super fucking hotbartender.
(42:32):
He was flirting with me allnight.
Oh my God, he'll never know,he'll never know and it'll drive
him wild just wondering.
Maybe she can send herboyfriend or husband some sexy
nudes or something like thatwhile he's at work and attach
(42:54):
something and say something likeI just sent this to the hot
bartender from the other night,or like something like that.
Basically, like she's justmaking up these little things
and this and obviously this is afun game that they both agreed
to and like it could be true.
It might not be.
You'll never fucking know and Idon't know what AI could do
(43:20):
these days.
I really don't fucking know.
But wouldn't it be hot if shecould actually like create these
hot photos, some sexy, steamypics of her with some like
random guy, and it be it, looklike the real fucking thing, and
she send it to her husband andjust be like, yeah, this is the
guy that I, this is the reasonwhy I'm coming home late, or
(43:42):
something like who knows?
I just think there's so manyawesome, really fun
possibilities that you can fuckwith your cuckie's mind and he
will love it.
And you don't necessarily haveto sleep with these other guys
to be able to drive him fuckingwild like that, because all it
(44:03):
is is just like a mental game.
Really, honestly, that's all itis.
And if you guys are both havingfun, then fucking do it.
And if you guys are both havingfun, then fucking do it.
Last but not least, you canhave her connect with some other
women who are in cuckoldingrelationships and she can find,
you know, some friendships, someconnections like that with some
women who you know are doingthis with their actual husband
(44:26):
and get some ideas andinspiration, and I find that
those connections that womenmake in this lifestyle are
absolutely so valuable for that.
So keep that in mind.
Maybe, if she feels comfortablewith that, she can reach out to
some of these women throughsocial media, or maybe they've
(44:46):
been guests on podcasts before,or whatever.
Some of the things that you cando together are to listen to
some podcasts together.
You can get some inspirationand ideas from that, as well as
read.
You can also read some bookstogether or listen to some audio
books.
So Insatiable Wives by Dr DavidLay is a great book that you
(45:08):
can also listen to together onaudiobook, and I also, like I
mentioned before, tell Me whatyou Want by Dr Justin Lay.
Miller Links will be in theshow notes for today.
That's an excellent book whereyou can get some ideas as well
as learn about some otherfantasies too.
Okay, that's all I have to sayfor you as far as like my advice
(45:31):
for how to role play quote,unquote role play when it comes
to doing sexy stuff in thislifestyle without her actually
sleeping with other guys.
I hope it's been helpful.
I appreciate you calling inwith your question and I'm sure
I'm absolutely positive.
There's going to be people guyswho listening to this episode
(45:53):
right now who are going to findthis helpful because they're in
the same situation as you.
So thank you for that.
All right, if you want to sendin your sexy confession, your
question or your comment for theshow, all you have to do is go
to venuscuckledresscom.
For the show, all you have todo is go to venuscuckledresscom,
(46:14):
click on the link that says thepodcast, and it's really easy.
You just press a button, sendit in and, who knows, maybe
it'll be on the show.
That's going to be it fortoday's episode.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Make sure you go tovenuscuckledresscom.
That's where you can book aprivate chat with me and you can
also join the Queens Quarterscommunity and get all the
(46:37):
amazing benefits, like theprivate podcast and the helpful
cuck tier where you can get keyholding for the private Snapchat
group, monthly private chatswith me and weekly live hangouts
and invites to special liveevents.
Oh, and you can also submit aquestion or confession for the
show.
(46:57):
Just go to venuscuckledresscomand click on the link that says
the podcast.
Make sure you follow me on BlueSky Social.
Yes, I said Blue Sky Social.
Fuck Twitter.
My handle there is atCuckoldress V.
All right, that's it fortoday's show.
You guys, we'll see you nexttime.
Bye.
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