December 6, 2025 • 57 mins
Ever wondered what happens when a fantasy finally turns real—and hits like a freight train? Venus sits down with Sin, a husband who spent years nudging his wife toward cuckolding, only to realize that the script he imagined fell apart the moment biology, nerves, and messy human needs showed up. The night looked perfect on paper: a confident bull, a camera-ready plan, and all the trappings of the “ultimate cuck” scenario. What actually unfolded was performative sex that ignored her pleasure, a husband’s post-orgasm crash into panic, and a hard lesson about consent pressure, comparisons, and the gap between porn and partnership.
Links
Christmas Wishlist for Venus: Amazon, YouPay List
Sin's Twitter: https://x.com/luna_and_sin
Pillow Talk with Venus: https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/events
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❤️❤️❤️ Venus Connections Matchmaking for Cuckolding and/or FLR. Learn more at https://www.venusconnections.com/
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Destination Links for Venus - https://linktr.ee/venuscuckoldress
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Here's what's coming up on the show.
SPEAKER_05 (00:05):
So the angst was gone, and now I was dealing with
everything that I had just seen,everything that I had heard.
I just watched some guy pound mywife for you know 40 minutes, a
feat I can't achieve.
He was bigger than me, lastedlonger than me, and in my head,
it was it was like the end.
Like everything that I hadfeared and we had talked about
(00:26):
at the beginning, like, oh, thatwill never happen.
I came crashing down.
In my head, it was all going tohappen.
You know, she was never gonnawant to have sex with me again.
She was totally disappointed inme, and she was only ever gonna
want to have guys like that.
And so, what's the point ofhaving me around?
Yeah, and those were all thethoughts like I could not stop.
It was just a non-stop flood ofwhat have I done to my life?
(00:48):
What have I done to my marriage?
Uh I was at some point in time,I was like sitting in the on the
floor of the shower while shewas like rubbing my shoulders
and balling, like, I ruined it,I ruined it, we're done.
SPEAKER_01 (01:08):
This is the Venus Cuckled just Podcast, a place to
learn all things cuckolding forthe curious, for the passionate,
and for the sexually empoweredwoman who wants it all.
(01:36):
Welcome to the show.
I'm your host, Venus.
Thanks for joining me today.
And uh, you know what?
Over the years I've had a lot ofguys share with me that they
have never been cocked before,that they have a real fear
around what it would be like,because it's one thing to
fantasize about it, and it canbe entirely different in
(01:59):
reality.
And so today's show is a littlebit of a cautionary tale when it
comes to getting cocked for thefirst time.
Um, but it's also a kind of aroadmap to turning things around
and actually making it work foryou, for the both of you, for
you and for her.
So it's a really good episodefor couples and singles, anybody
(02:20):
who is curious to learn aboutwhat it might actually really be
like and what you can do to kindof prepare for something that
might be a might be a little bitdifferent, might feel a little
bit different in reality.
And I am hoping uh to have thisguest on for a Pillow Talk live
event in the uh Queen's Quarterscommunity.
(02:40):
So if you want, you can join in,listen in, you can ask
questions, it's quiteinteractive, it's a lot of fun,
and it's free to be able to joinlive.
So keep an eye out in theQueen's Quarters community.
Uh the link is in the show notesfor today's episode.
The next live pillow talk eventthat is booked is for Tuesday,
(03:02):
December the 9th.
So mark your calendar.
This is December 9th, it's gonnabe at 12 p.m.
Pacific time, that's 3 p.m.
Eastern.
And that is going to be with myguest Carl, who was on the show
recently.
He was on the show that wascalled Stealthy Cuckolding.
Uh Tasting Another Man in YourWife.
(03:23):
And what a cool story that was.
So he's gonna join me.
We're gonna be talking a littlebit more about that show.
And so I'm sure you guys aregonna be interested in joining
in for that one.
It's gonna be great.
So have a look for the link tobe able to RSVP uh for that
event.
It is free to join live.
So I'll put the link in the shownotes for today.
(03:45):
And lastly, well, a second tolast actually.
Um just a quick reminder.
If you listen to this podcast onYouTube, please don't do that
anymore.
Please find a different place tolisten to this podcast because
YouTube has been removing myepisodes.
(04:06):
I've had people emailing melike, oh, it's been a month
since you put in any episodesout.
I'm like, actually, no, it'sonly because on YouTube they
keep taking down my episodes andgiving me a strike, and they're
going to cancel my whole fuckingYouTube account at any point in
time now.
So please, if you listen onYouTube, know that my days are
(04:28):
numbered on there.
I can also not um post anylinks, and um I'm definitely
missing lots of episodes.
So if you listen to it onYouTube, please stop.
Please listen on somewhere else.
You can listen to it anytime onVenusCucklegis.com or on Apple
Podcasts, Spotify, basically allof the podcast apps are just
(04:51):
even like online, just Googlesearch, you can listen to it
that way.
Um so there's lots of other waysto listen to it.
But yeah, YouTube is being apain in the fucking ass for me
and it's not fun.
Anyway, last but not least, itis Christmas time.
I can't believe it.
It's almost Christmas.
It's every time this around thistime of year, it just sneaked up
(05:11):
on me.
But I've had uh several peopleasking me about a wish list,
which is really nice because I Idon't like I don't normally
share that very much.
Um I certainly don't ask peopleto buy me things or anything
like that.
But um I have had a lot ofpeople asking me, do you want
something as a Christmas gift?
(05:31):
And I was like, oh, that's sonice.
So I did put together a wishlist.
Um and I will put the link inthe show notes for today.
If you are one of those peoplethat is just feeling like you
want to give back to Venus, hey,why not?
I've made a list, so it's therefor you.
All right, that's it forannouncements.
Let's jump into this show.
(05:52):
You're gonna love it.
Here we go.
All right, joining me on theshow.
I have uh my guest his name, hegoes by the name of Sin, and
he's gonna share a little storyabout his cuckolding journey.
And I'm really excited for thisone.
Thanks for joining me on theshow.
(06:13):
Say hello to all of thelisteners.
SPEAKER_05 (06:16):
Hi, listeners, how are you?
I'm glad to be here.
SPEAKER_01 (06:19):
Well, thanks for coming on the show.
You sent me an email because Iput a post out regarding uh I
wanted to talk about post-netregret, which I got a lot of
people sending in, like theywere like, Oh yeah, I definitely
I want to talk about that andstuff.
And I had a lot of people who Italked to, but very few actu who
actually went through likepost-nut clarity, post-nut
(06:39):
regret with cuckolding.
So I'm excited to have you onthe show because I think that
this will be a reallyinteresting story to tell.
So uh, so I Sin, you aremarried, correct?
SPEAKER_05 (06:51):
I am married.
SPEAKER_01 (06:52):
How long have you been married for?
SPEAKER_05 (06:55):
Oh a dozen years.
SPEAKER_01 (06:58):
Okay.
And you are the one that firstbrought up cuckolding to your
wife, right?
SPEAKER_05 (07:04):
Yes, yep.
SPEAKER_01 (07:06):
Okay, and how did you bring that up to her?
SPEAKER_05 (07:10):
Um, I you know, I didn't really know what it was
called.
Um she had never had sex withanybody but me.
And um just kind of got the ideathat we could explore outside of
our marriage, not quite swing,um, but that she could, you
know, try to the guys thatwouldn't care, I swear.
(07:31):
Um and that that was years agowhen I brought it up and we
played with the idea, she wasvery hesitant.
Um But we you know, started withlike looking at apps, having her
chat with guys just to see thatyes, she's still attractive,
yes, people still like her.
Um until it, you know, finallywent to acting on it.
SPEAKER_01 (07:53):
And how long did that take where you had brought
it up between where you hadbrought it up and when you are
when she was like, Okay,alright, fine, we can do this.
SPEAKER_05 (08:03):
You know, realistically, like between
talking about it, likerole-playing it in the bedroom,
probably a year and a half totwo years of of just you know, I
I was pushy, I'll admit that.
Um, but I was I can't force herto do anything, so it was it was
just constantly, you know, atheme if we were doing something
more than just like vanilla sex.
(08:23):
It was always in the background.
SPEAKER_04 (08:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (08:26):
Uh and then her her talking to people, that was
probably six months before weever uh did anything.
You know, we got on dating appsand what's that?
SPEAKER_01 (08:37):
Did she did she so you said you were pushy?
Did was she getting like annoyedwith you or or she ever like
just like fucking drop it or Ohoh yeah, oh yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (08:48):
Yeah, yeah.
I mean she would you know, shewould tolerate like the the
fantasy for a while, like, ohokay, that's cute, ha ha ha
until I until I would be like,Well, why don't we do it?
You know, the fantasy is reallyfun to talk about, I'm sure
it'll be fun in real life.
Um and she would have to shewould have to, you know, set me
down like, hey look, this is me,you're not the one doing
(09:09):
anything, so yeah, let me go myown pace.
Um that's probab that wasprobably like a it was cyclic,
right?
Like she would set me down, soI'd take a step back and pretend
like I didn't really want itanymore.
Uh but uh the the idea ispervasive.
unknown (09:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (09:28):
Once it's in your head, it's really hard to get
out.
So I kept bringing it up andprobably pissing her off plenty.
SPEAKER_00 (09:35):
This is a common theme.
Oh, I'm sure of it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:40):
Um, so that's interesting.
Uh was it but eventually she waslike, all right, fine, I'll do
it.
What do you was she like, I'lldo it for you, or I'll do it
like one time, or I'll do it toshut you up, or was she like,
oh, I'm gonna do it because itsounds fun.
SPEAKER_05 (09:58):
It's it's probably a hybrid of all of those.
Um I i if she chimed in, shewould probably agree with me,
I'm guessing.
SPEAKER_03 (10:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (10:07):
Uh we had met somebody just to discuss it with
them on there was no intentionof play.
We just wanted to see what itwas like to talk to somebody who
had been in the lifestyle as abull.
And he was so cool.
He was just mellow and really umreally genuine and kind, and so
we met him, talked to him, andthat kind of put her fears um at
(10:28):
rest.
But uh we didn't actually playwith him, so we met him, and
then a couple months later Ifinally convinced her, like,
hey, let's do it, you know,fine, let's do it.
We're adults, we can do this.
Um, but at that time, she didn'twant to do the app finding.
So she had me going through theapps, talking to the people,
(10:50):
doing all the screening.
And I don't I'm not blaming her,it's not her fault that it went
bad.
Um but we just didn't know whatwe were doing.
So we found a guy who uh youknow claimed to be like an
experienced bull and brought himto our house, which again
another mistake we made.
Um and then and then she justwent through with it.
(11:13):
I don't know.
We we didn't know like you couldjust tell somebody no.
Like if you were to meetsomebody today of it's totally
fine for her to be like, I'm notcomfortable, I'm not doing this.
SPEAKER_04 (11:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (11:23):
Um so we went through with it with the guy
that we met ten minutes before.
SPEAKER_01 (11:28):
Um, okay, we're gonna get into that in detail,
but uh first I want to back up alittle bit.
When you were trying to convinceyour wife to do this, I know
that you were kind offlip-flocking flip-flopping back
and forth where you would, youknow, pretend that you didn't
want her to do it anymore, andthen you would bring it up again
and doing all that stuff.
SPEAKER_04 (11:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:47):
Um, I just I'm curious to know in your mind, I
know that it's like a hotfantasy.
You've probably been thinkingabout it for a really long time,
something that you thought youreally wanted.
But during that time where youwere trying to convince her, was
there any at any point where youfelt like maybe this could harm
(12:11):
our relationship, or maybe itcould go bad, or where you were
like, you know, a bit scared togo through with it?
Did that like was that part ofyour thinking back then?
SPEAKER_05 (12:22):
Yeah, yeah, it is.
Um and it was.
Uh and you know, it felt like wetalked that through so well.
You know, she reassured me thatuh, you know, she'll I'll always
love you, even if somebody has abigger dick or you know, has sex
better than you, and and viceversa.
I was like, I won't judge youfor doing this.
But with guys, we tend to thinkwith our dicks.
(12:45):
So even though like logic toldme like there were chances that
this could go wrong.
Um that never won.
That that was never theprevailing thought at the end of
the day.
It was like, oh yeah, that couldbe risky, but we've managed ten
years of marriage, we can pullthis off.
SPEAKER_01 (12:59):
Okay, so you thought the thought was always there.
Okay, so you thought your thefoundation of your marriage was
so strong that whatever bumpsyou came across that you'd be
you'd be okay, you'd be able tofigure it out.
Yeah, yeah, beautifully put.
Did she have any did she talk toyou about any kind of fears that
(13:20):
she had about how it wouldaffect your relationship?
SPEAKER_05 (13:24):
Oh, certainly.
Yeah, I mean, in the the twoyears really leading up to us
acting on it, uh, we hadcountless like late night
conversations, just laying inbed, like well, what if, you
know, the what if game.
And trying to talk through everyscenario that could possibly
happen.
SPEAKER_01 (13:42):
Did you?
That's good that you had thoseconversations.
That's I'm glad to hear that.
SPEAKER_05 (13:48):
Well, they they they worked to a degree.
They got us to doing it, but thethe the reality's different than
the fantasy.
SPEAKER_04 (13:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (13:56):
Um but you know, we thought we were ready.
We we definitely did, and we wehad talked it through, and she
is um far more emotionallymature than I am.
I'll say that.
So when she says, I'm not gonnaleave you because the guy has a
bigger dick.
Now, in hindsight, I I knowthat.
Um But that was always a fear ofmine.
(14:18):
Her fears were largely like, youknow, the the slut shaming, or
what does that make me if I havesex with someone other than my
husband?
SPEAKER_04 (14:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:26):
Um and there's really no way you can convince
somebody that that's not gonnabe your case.
Uh we trust each other, but someof these fears are so
deep-rooted societally andculturally that you just you
can't do anything about it untilyou kind of test the water and
see what it's like.
At least that's that's badadvice.
I hope nobody does that.
SPEAKER_01 (14:47):
So that's kind of what we did.
So let's so let's talk about itbecause I think there's a lot of
things to be learned by fromyour first cuckolding
experience, your story of thatand how that went.
Um, so first of all, where didyou meet or how where did you
find this guy?
You were the one doing thesearching for the guy, right?
(15:07):
Your wife was not involved withthat, right?
But did she have like a criteriathat she wanted for the guy?
Wow.
SPEAKER_05 (15:16):
Yeah, I don't want to.
She did and didn't.
Like largely it was how big ishis seen it.
Um, does he have experience?
Because you know, we hadlistened to podcasts, and people
are like, find somebody who'sexperienced.
SPEAKER_04 (15:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (15:28):
Um he claimed to have experience, whether he did
or didn't, I don't know.
Um and she kind of has a look,but I I know now uh that I could
pick the most gorgeous guy onearth, and it's it's she's just
not gonna like him.
And I've given up trying tofigure out why.
(15:49):
Uh but at the time I would belike, What about this guy?
What about this guy?
Until she got bored enough,she's like, Yeah, that guy's
fine.
So that's how we found the firstguy.
He was kind of uh that guy'sfine.
SPEAKER_01 (16:00):
Okay.
So he was kind of mediocre.
She was just like, whatever,just let's just do this.
She was probably getting tiredof the f searching forever.
SPEAKER_05 (16:09):
And the constant nagging from her husband on the
front.
SPEAKER_01 (16:12):
Oh shit.
SPEAKER_05 (16:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (16:15):
Oh dear.
Okay, so you reached you reachedout to him, you connected.
Was he local to you?
SPEAKER_05 (16:21):
Uh he about 30 minutes away, so Okay.
Pretty pretty local uh comparedto what uh you know many of the
bulls around here are.
So not close enough that you cannext door neighbor.
SPEAKER_01 (16:34):
Okay.
And so you set aside a day andtime, you were like, okay, so
he's gonna come over to ourhouse, and was it a like just a
hang in?
Was it was gonna be like ahangout, or was this gonna be
the f the f she was he wasdefinitely gonna fuck her?
SPEAKER_05 (16:51):
So we we had this grand scheme, this this amazing
plan where we would we would wewould set up almost a timer and
it was gonna be 30 minutes.
He'd come over, we'd have acocktail or something, chat for
30 minutes, and after 30minutes, uh she would, you know,
like step out of the room andsend me a text like, Yeah, let's
do this, let's not do this.
SPEAKER_00 (17:10):
Oh okay.
SPEAKER_05 (17:13):
It was it was feeble.
Because once you're in in themoment and somebody's there, uh
she would call herself a peoplepleaser.
SPEAKER_04 (17:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (17:22):
So she was far more likely to say yes than she was
to say no or to stay true to howshe felt.
SPEAKER_01 (17:28):
Oh, I so understand that.
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (17:32):
Yeah, and so so you know, he came over, we did that,
um, but the pressure was there.
SPEAKER_01 (17:38):
Um so how did you feel about him?
How what was your vibe?
Like, what did you get from him?
SPEAKER_05 (17:45):
Uh he was a nice guy.
Like for me, I was you know,really worried about her, and at
the same time, I'm like, no way,this is finally gonna happen.
Uh when it came down to likethat 30-minute timeline, which
terrible idea.
Uh and she said yes, it was kindof like, sweet, all right, let's
do this.
Uh but otherwise he was nice.
(18:06):
There were no he he wasn't likea there were no red flags.
SPEAKER_03 (18:11):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (18:11):
Just meeting somebody like that.
Nothing like that.
It just she has a particulartype, uh, and me being her
husband, I cannot I can't pickup on what that is.
SPEAKER_01 (18:22):
So did when you were planning this night, obviously
this is potentially you're inyour mind gonna be the first
time you've been cucked and andthat she's done this.
And did you guys do any of thelike the typical cuckolding
rituals of you help her getready and or buy her lingerie or
do that kind of stuff inadvance?
SPEAKER_05 (18:44):
None of that.
Uh she was she picked what shewanted to wear.
I uh I you know I had like theroom ready and like candles and
condoms and lubes and toys andall that type of stuff.
I I was like the support crew,but I didn't do any of the the
picking out what she wanted towear.
I might have weighed in onsomething, but yeah.
(19:07):
I really wanted her to becomfortable.
SPEAKER_01 (19:09):
How did that feel to be getting the room ready like
that?
SPEAKER_05 (21:46):
Oh, it's hot.
I mean, even even knowing howthe night went, it was it was
amazing.
Like this is like uh the angst,which up until then, you know,
you only feel it when you'retalking to people, there's a the
low level angst.
Once somebody's over your houseand you know it's you know
there's a really goodpossibility it's gonna happen,
(22:06):
it ramps up to you know, like 15out of 10.
It's wild.
SPEAKER_01 (22:10):
And so during that time when you were, you know,
peak angst, I guess before theystarted fucking, um was there
any part of your mind that waslike, you know, like I hope this
goes well, and like I don'tknow, maybe it won't?
Or were you apprehensive at all,or was it just pure like you
(22:32):
were turned on, you wereexcited, you were like 10 out of
10, let's do this.
SPEAKER_05 (22:38):
Uh if I could have both 10 out of 10, let's do this
and apprehension at the sametime, I would say yeah.
Because I really wanted it towork for her because at that
point, you know, you're in thatlike cocktail of this is amazing
going on in your body, like thisis so fun.
And she's still my wife, I stilllove her.
Um I'm not trying to likeprostitute her out for my own
(22:59):
enjoyment.
Right.
Um so yes, I was nervous and Icould tell she was nervous, but
at the same time, it was it wasso fun, it's such a rush.
Um that one beat out the other.
SPEAKER_01 (23:12):
Okay.
So the reason why I'm asking islike there's so many guys out
there that really, really wanttheir wife to cuck them, or you
know, their future wife, orwhatever.
They want this fantasy to cometrue so badly, but they're
scared because they don't knowwhat it's actually gonna be
like.
So it's fascinating to hear whatthat was actually like for you
(23:34):
for for that first time.
Now, did this bull did he askyou what you wanted as far as
like any boundaries or wish listor any like any kind of vibe
that you wanted from him?
SPEAKER_05 (23:48):
Oh yeah, yeah, we did.
We had a long conversation.
Um we did have rules early on,um, you know, like obviously
protection was a must.
We might have had the no, wedidn't.
Early on, we had talked about nokissing, um, but then that just
didn't make sense becausekissing's kind of intimate.
So we had thrown that one out.
(24:09):
And we had like, because youknow, I thought I was living out
my fantasy, and like this guywas these two were gonna perform
for me.
I I know that's not really whatI was thinking, but in hindsight
that's kind of how it came out.
I wanted him to play like thepartially demeaning bull, you
know, like the guy who haslittle comments for me
throughout the session.
SPEAKER_03 (24:30):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (24:31):
Um so yeah, we did discuss some of that and he was
he was on board with all of it.
He's like, Yeah, yeah, I can dothat.
I'm totally good.
Uh don't have a four, I'm thebest type thing.
SPEAKER_02 (24:40):
Oh no.
I'm the best.
SPEAKER_01 (24:43):
Oh no.
Okay.
Um, so how how did it startthen?
I g I'm guessing that you know,you said after 30 minutes she
came out of the room and shesent you a message and said,
Yes, let's do this.
So what happened after that?
SPEAKER_05 (24:57):
Uh uh then it was um we went to uh we have a unused
bedroom.
So that was the room I had setup.
We uh we finished and uh theywent together and I followed
them and closed the door andthen it started with like very
short amount of kissing, andthen uh I don't know how much
(25:17):
detail you want, but give me allthe details.
Most vivid thing I rememberinitially was I sat oh yeah, we
put our own couch here in thebedroom, it's perfect.
SPEAKER_01 (25:27):
Of course.
SPEAKER_05 (25:29):
And so I sat in the chair and they were in front of
me.
Uh and they turned sideways so Icould see when she took his
pants off.
And he was part of rock already.
She got on her knees, startedsucking him off, and he was
looking at me and makingcomments like, oh, to her, like
you've never had one back.
(25:50):
So it was playing out like aporn movie.
Um you know, he definitely hasbeen couple porn.
Um but yeah, it was pretty fun.
They did that, and then uh theyeventually she got naked, they
both got naked and startedtrying as many positions as they
could.
(26:10):
Um and from my point of view,because I'm not her, it looked
like she was enjoying herself,like he was going hard, she was
moaning, uh, he discovered thatshe squirked.
SPEAKER_02 (26:24):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (26:24):
Which she has a little bit of a thing about.
She's not the biggest fan of it.
SPEAKER_02 (26:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (26:29):
And once he figured that out, that's all he would go
for.
SPEAKER_02 (26:31):
Oh no.
SPEAKER_05 (26:36):
But it was yeah, I mean, from where I was at, like
they probably up to like 30 to40 minutes.
They had to take breaks.
I think he was about to die.
He was uh he would go as hard ashe could and have to like just
sit on the ground and catch hisbreath.
Um I didn't expect that.
(26:57):
Um they obviously don't do thatin the movies.
SPEAKER_02 (26:59):
Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_05 (27:00):
But the whole time, like he was you know doing
different poses and I swear, II'm misremembering this, but I
swear he did like the gas dawn,like leg up on the bed to pose,
like oh my gosh, it was so bad.
And like he kept looking over,he's like, Yeah, yeah, she liked
that.
SPEAKER_01 (27:18):
And uh oh, so this sounds like it was absolutely
performative, like for you.
This was a show for you, andprobably your wife was doing the
performative sex for you.
But at the time, I'm I imagineyou picked up on that,
obviously, if you're like, oh,it was kind of corny, like all
(27:39):
these, you know, yeah, it itfelt it felt forced.
SPEAKER_05 (27:42):
It felt so forced.
Like I realize that you know,hard sex can be hard sex, but
like the looks over theshoulder, and like he was he was
foc focused more on himself, um,almost very little on her.
Uh you know, he would talk toher and say things to her, and
you know, they'd switchpositions and they had a a
(28:02):
little bit of back and forth,but it was it was largely he was
putting on a show for theaudience, I think.
I mean I can't get in his head,but that's that's what it
appeared to be a thing you knowin hindsight.
SPEAKER_01 (28:16):
And you were jerking off.
Oh, I was.
Was it the hottest thing you'veever seen up up to that point,
was it?
SPEAKER_05 (28:23):
Oh my gosh, yeah.
And I I was like if I hadactually been jerking off, it
would have been like six secondsbecause it I mean I had to like
take long breaks.
Yeah.
I was like, okay, okay, I'mgonna I'm gonna slow this down.
I don't want my fun to end.
Oh, that didn't last.
I I went I I I edged as long asI could and then uh totally
(28:46):
wrecked one of my shirts, whichI well I didn't ex I wasn't
planning on jerking off, but Icouldn't I couldn't help myself.
It was gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01 (28:56):
Well yeah, because they were going at it for a long
time.
I mean, that's a decent amountlike length of time for fucking
that's really hard.
SPEAKER_05 (29:06):
Yeah, and it it was really hard.
We've actually nicknamed him.
We have a a little, it's not alittle black book, it's a very
large black book.
Not saying there's a lot ofpeople in there.
But what we write down ourperspectives of every person
we've met, yeah.
We omit names, but we give thema nickname and we've nicknamed
him the jackhammer.
SPEAKER_01 (29:24):
I was gonna say, was it the jackhammer?
unknown (29:27):
No way.
SPEAKER_05 (29:28):
That's exactly what it is.
SPEAKER_01 (29:30):
That's so funny.
Yeah, that style of sex.
Um, I mean, I'm all for a goodhard fucking once in a while,
but I really not into thefucking straight jackhammer for
30, 40 minutes.
Um, that's what you see in porn,and that's where you see the
(29:50):
fake orgasms from women in porn.
It's like, oh my god, gettingfucked so hard.
Um but I don't think that um inreality, it's not all that
enjoyable, I don't think.
From for me, and I think mostwomen would probably say that
it's you know, they can handlelike it's fun for a bit, but you
(30:13):
need to have some sort of likesexual variety when sensual
variety when it comes tofucking.
And uh it sounds like there wasnone of that with that
experience.
SPEAKER_05 (30:24):
No, it went it went from zero to ten.
Like as soon as she had, youknow, sucked him off for a few
minutes, it was at 10.
And it w it stayed at 10, exceptfor the times when he was
catching his breath.
SPEAKER_01 (30:35):
Yeah, he probably thought he gave her the best
fucking that she'd ever had.
And meanwhile, she's like, Ohgod, no.
SPEAKER_05 (30:42):
Yeah, he had he had serious chance syndrome.
He's like, I am the best.
SPEAKER_01 (30:46):
Oh, that's a red flag.
SPEAKER_05 (32:53):
Yeah, I know now.
SPEAKER_01 (32:56):
So you were jerking off.
You ruined your shirt.
What went through your mindafter you came?
Because they were not finished,right?
SPEAKER_05 (33:06):
Yeah, they weren't finished.
They probably went like another10 minutes after that.
So I I I came and then there wasthere was a letdown, a little
bit of a letdown that happened,you know, that wasn't quite the
post-match clarity that reallyhit later once everything had
stopped.
Yeah.
But it was kind of like, oh,okay, well, it's still a good
show.
Like you know, I still likedwhat I was seeing, but uh the
(33:31):
high had kind of passed.
And now it's kind of like, okay,okay, well maybe I'll focus on
what she's seeing or you know,focus on her as opposed to
focusing on myself.
SPEAKER_01 (33:39):
Were you taking any pictures or videos or anything
like that?
SPEAKER_05 (33:43):
Yes, yes, yeah.
So in between jacking off, uh Iwould tuck my dick away and then
go take videos and photos.
SPEAKER_01 (33:51):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (33:52):
Try different angles.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:55):
This is like the full cuck session.
I'm just picturing it in mymind.
SPEAKER_05 (34:00):
We had it planned, right?
Like these are all the thingsyou have to check to have a a
cuck session.
And and you know, w almost.
(36:13):
We almost hit them all.
SPEAKER_01 (36:15):
Right.
I and I get, I understand whycouples want to do that.
They want to basically likecheck the box for the ultimate
cuckolding fantasy for theirvery first time ever, ever,
ever.
And I just feel like that's sounrealistic.
And not just unrealistic, but umnot going to feel as fulfilling
(36:38):
as you expect.
SPEAKER_05 (36:42):
No, yeah.
Um, but yeah the first time,like there's a lot of things
going to head, like this mightonly happen once.
Right.
Like maybe you do this once andit never happens again.
SPEAKER_00 (36:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (36:53):
Um, and so you kind of want to hit everything all at
once.
Like, okay, we have to do thisright.
SPEAKER_00 (36:59):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (37:00):
Um hindsight, right is a word you get to define as
opposed to what society defined.
But we didn't know that at thetime.
SPEAKER_01 (37:10):
Yeah, because your checklist, your was based on b
the typical cuckolding pornscript, right?
SPEAKER_05 (37:17):
Oh, pretty much, yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (37:20):
Okay, so what happened after that?
What happened after?
SPEAKER_05 (37:28):
So so like I was saying, this guy was having a
hard time.
Um like I I feel like he wasabout to have a heart attack
perhaps.
Because he was going hard.
Eventually, uh, I forget if hehad to call it quit or she had
to call it clips, or we justcommunally called it clips.
We're like, hey, okay.
What do we call it for thenight, right?
SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
Yeah, it's half an hour.
SPEAKER_05 (37:48):
So he actually did not come.
Uh but he, you know, we kind ofjust decided, okay, that's
enough.
SPEAKER_04 (37:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (37:56):
He got dressed.
You know, I walked him up to thefront door, said, Hey, thanks,
that was really fun.
He drove off.
SPEAKER_01 (38:03):
Um I bet he took Viagra.
I bet that's what he did.
He probably took Viagra.
SPEAKER_05 (38:08):
Yeah, I'm guessing I'm guessing he rubbed one out
and took Viagra before he cameover.
So he was just not going tocome.
SPEAKER_04 (38:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (38:16):
We we we analyzed that in depth afterwards.
Like, how on earth?
But yeah, no, so he didn't come,he left.
Uh then I went back to the thethe bedroom and she was still
just laying on the bed, and wewe cuddled for a while and
talked about it, and that's likewhen it really hit home for me.
SPEAKER_01 (38:35):
Did you lick her pussy at all?
SPEAKER_05 (38:38):
No, no.
I think by that point in timelike had started to cool down.
SPEAKER_02 (38:42):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (38:43):
Um and it was also getting back to her and like
cuddling her.
Uh like I was dressed, she wasnaked.
Um I started to like payattention to what was going on
with her as opposed to myself.
And uh, you know, the firstsimple question, like, oh, how
was that?
And her response was somethingto the effect of like like meh.
(39:06):
Like it was it was just that,you know, it wasn't anything
special at all.
SPEAKER_02 (39:09):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (39:11):
So no, there was no I I don't even think we had sex
afterwards because I had alreadycome.
Um we just laid and talked for awhile and then uh went up and
took a shower together and justcontinued talking about you know
our thoughts about what hadhappened.
SPEAKER_01 (39:28):
Okay, so you guys got into the shower and you're
still kind of talking about it.
And I understand that it's rightaround this time that you
started to kind of crash andburn emotionally, is that right?
SPEAKER_05 (39:42):
Oh, it was yes, yes.
That's uh that's anunderstatement right there.
Yeah, I I crashed and burnedhard.
SPEAKER_01 (39:49):
So what happened?
How come this hit you?
Because you seemed like up untilthat point, you know, you were
good.
Like, you know, everything wascool, everything's good, and
what happened?
Was it was there something thattriggered it, or is just a flood
of emotions?
SPEAKER_05 (40:05):
I think it was so it's it's the flood of emotion,
you know, all the angst had kindof like kind of just crashed in
on itself.
So the angst was gone, and nowit's dealing with everything
that I had just seen, everythingthat I heard.
Um, I just watched some guypound my wife for you know 40
minutes.
Uh a feat I can't achieve.
(40:26):
He was, you know, bigger thanme, um lasted longer than me.
Uh and and in my head, it was itwas like the end.
Like everything that I hadfeared and we had talked about
at the beginning, like, oh thatwill never happen.
I came crashing down.
In my head it was all going tohappen.
Like we were gonna, you know,she was never gonna want to have
(40:47):
sex with me again.
She was totally disappointed inme, and she was only ever gonna
want to have guys like that, andso what's the point of having me
around?
Um Yeah, those were all thethoughts like I could not stop.
It was just a non-stop flood ofwhat have I done to my life,
what have I done to my marriage?
(41:08):
Um and so yeah, we're in theshower and I start going through
all this in my head, I'mlocalizing a lot of it.
Uh it's funny because sheprobably should have been the
one, like, what did I just do?
But she was really trying totalk me off the edge of a cliff.
Telling me that you know, it'sokay, I don't feel that way, it
wasn't that good, you don'tunderstand, I I wasn't really
(41:30):
enjoying myself.
But in my head, it was over.
Like everything I had built fora decade was over.
Uh I was at one point in time Iwas like sitting in the on the
floor of the shower while shewas like rubbing my shoulders
and bawling, like, I ruined it,I ruined it, we're done.
SPEAKER_04 (41:47):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05 (41:48):
You know, I ruined our marriage, this it's never
gonna last.
I can't believe I did this.
I'll it'll never be the same.
And in my head, you know, shehad just had the best sex with
her life.
And being a guy, sex iseverything.
So I thought to her, uh, youknow, how could she ever come
back from this?
How could she ever enjoy sexwith me?
(42:11):
So it was just a a completecrash out.
SPEAKER_01 (42:15):
Oh my goodness.
So how long did that last for?
And you said you were like insinconsolable, like nothing she
you didn't believe anything shesaid when she was trying to
console you.
How long did that last for?
SPEAKER_05 (42:29):
It it was probably oh, well, I mean, the she was
able to calm me down that night,but I want to say in my head,
um, you know, I had I swore offcuckle being, I swore off
everything.
I'll never do that again.
Worst mistake of my life.
It probably lasted a coupleweeks, perhaps not as bad,
(42:52):
because she's very level headed.
She was able to f you know itbasically required me listening
to her as opposed to living inmy own head.
SPEAKER_04 (43:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:02):
And when I f when she finally, you know, got
through to me, like, look, I didnot enjoy it.
This guy was a jackhammer.
He didn't focus on me at all.
He only wanted to doperformative sex and and make it
look good.
And yeah.
He loved the fact that Isquirted, which I don't like.
And and so she had to reallytalk it through with me, like
what was going on in her headand why it was not spectacular.
unknown (43:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (43:25):
But that didn't really sink in for a couple
weeks.
SPEAKER_01 (43:28):
Because this had nothing really to do with your
wife.
This had to everything to dowith your own insecurities,
right?
SPEAKER_05 (43:37):
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, I mean this that's kind ofthe fun thing of cuckle being is
you You're actually playing withyour insecurities.
SPEAKER_00 (43:46):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (43:47):
You're using them as a fuel for, you know, sexual
gratification, more or less.
Um, and yeah, and so I was notready for seeing it in person or
what that would actually meanfor me.
Um Yeah, it was it was adefinitely a bigger hit than I
was expecting.
SPEAKER_01 (44:07):
So was there ever a time before that first
experience where you had heardof that kind of reaction where
cucks have, you know, this crashand burn emotionally, or like w
or did this completely catch youoff guard?
SPEAKER_05 (44:22):
Well, so you know, you hear about it because I'd
listened to podcasts, I'd listento yours, um and I'd I'd hadn't
read any books or done anythinglike that, but I'd I'd I really
thought I'd done that research.
And I knew that there was theinevitable crash, but you know,
I was like, well, why why wouldI be worried about that?
We have a perfect marriage.
We talk everything through.
(44:45):
Uh I really thought that there'sno way it would happen to me
because we planned foreverything, right?
We had a plan for everything.
Uh but when you're dealing withemotion, not logic, uh those
plans just get thrown out thewindow.
SPEAKER_01 (45:02):
Yes.
So and I I love the fact thatyou're sharing this story.
I love the fact that we'retalking about this because
there's so much emphasis put oncuckolding as a fantasy where
he's watching his wife have sex,and that's literally the only
the definition that you you eversee out there or hear about out
(45:22):
there.
But it is so much more complexthan just that.
And um, this aspect ofcuckolding that requires um a
deep level of care and almostlike emotional um cuck sitting,
emotional cuck caretaking, Ishould say, that a wife needs to
(45:44):
do or some most of the timeneeds to do could because I hear
this often with first timegetting cucked, where um it is
really it takes an emotionaltoll on the cuck.
And um, as you can imagine, ifyou don't have a really solid
rock solid uh relationship withyour wife or your partner, um
then that could be potentiallycatastrophic.
(46:05):
So there's a there's a lot of uhresponsibility that she has to
with emotional caretaking forher husband during this thing,
where she's probably not youknow anticipating that as being
a need.
But uh going back to when howthat all played out, I'm sure
(46:27):
like that you guys went andanalyzed the fuck out of that
whole experience and were like,okay, this is kind of where we
went off track.
This is where we could havedone, made different decisions
that would have turned outbetter.
This is some of the mistakesthat we made.
What were some of the thingsthat you guys immediately came
up with where we're you werelike, yeah, we fucked that up.
(46:50):
We should not have done that.
SPEAKER_05 (46:53):
Oh, yeah.
So there's really um probablytwo or three main takeaways.
The first was uh we stoppedmeeting people and planning on
playing that night.
Uh that was just such a badidea.
Because I know how pressureworks on her, um, I know how the
(47:14):
interest works on me, like youknow, a guy's there, they're
gonna have sex, of course I wantit to have it.
Uh so we we stopped that, now wedo uh like a platonic meet and
greet, like not not even with apotential play.
Like, hey, we'll meet you at abar or a restaurant, and we'll
chat.
We'll go home, we'll think aboutit, then if we want to meet up,
we'll schedule something.
(47:35):
So that that's one degree ofseparation that kind of allows
her to cool down, say, like, youknow what, I really like that
guy, I want to play with him.
Um the other one that wasprobably the hardest for me was
uh she took over finding people.
Um, because I I really lovedbeing involved.
(47:56):
It was fun.
I'd be like, oh, this guy's forme, you should try this.
And I felt really involved inthe whole process.
SPEAKER_04 (48:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (48:01):
Uh but for her, she's not I see a hot guy, I
want to sleep with him.
And she may she may think that,but for her to enjoy it, she
kind of wants to connect withthem before.
SPEAKER_04 (48:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (48:11):
She plays not like a boyfriend, but just hey, I
actually know this guy's nameand he's a nice person, so I
feel comfortable with it.
SPEAKER_01 (48:20):
Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (48:21):
Um so with her taking over, uh, she's able to
do that, right?
If she wants to chat with theguy for four months, uh she can
do that.
Um it's still I mean I've I'vecalmed down since but I'm always
interested.
Like, hey, do you have anyprospects right now?
How's it going?
So I'm still a little uhimpatient, but that was that was
(48:46):
a big one.
And then uh another one thatwasn't so important, but we
decided to stop bringing peopleto our house.
Like it was just that wasanother weird thing, like you
just brought a stranger to yourhouse to have sex with your wife
in front of you, like maybe waita time or two before you invite
them over.
Like that's that's your that'syour safe place.
SPEAKER_04 (49:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (49:08):
And so those three things are probably the three
main things we we institutedafter that.
SPEAKER_01 (49:13):
Right.
And what about the the sexualscript?
Because you guys went allfull-on cuck porn script.
What what about that?
Was that something that youtossed out the window and you're
like she's just gonna do whatshe wants?
SPEAKER_05 (49:28):
Yeah, good point.
I I forgot about that.
Um it's gone.
Completely gone.
Now it's uh um now it's justwhatever she wants, whatever the
other guy wants.
Um I don't even have to bethere.
Uh because I'd rather her justhave it feel natural.
Like performative sex is fun.
(49:50):
But it's also fun for her,especially on like meeting a guy
the first time, just to youknow, feel like there's no
pressure.
She can do whatever she wants,they can do whatever they want.
There's there's no reason toperform, there's nobody to
perform for.
SPEAKER_01 (50:05):
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's those is a lotof really good things that you
guys have changed since then.
But what about aftercare?
Um, was that something that youguys were like, all right, this
is what we need to make surethat we do after each time to
make sure you don't have thatcrash?
SPEAKER_05 (50:28):
Yes, yeah.
So I I think I can't tell ifthat crash would have happened
if we had had proper aftercareor not.
However, now I don't sit thereand jack off while they're
having sex.
I wait.
Um and then once the personleaves, um, you know, I'll come
in and we'll cuddle and we'lltalk about it and laugh about
(50:51):
the things that went wrong.
Um it's laughter's good healingmedicine and talk about what she
liked, what she didn't like.
And then we'll have, you know,like reconnected reconnection
sex and um is that super fun?
SPEAKER_01 (51:08):
Do you like come right away?
SPEAKER_05 (51:10):
It is it is super fun, and yes, yes.
I mean we've got other things uhuh in addition to that, like me
going down on her as soon as theperson's gone, or you know, like
so some of that has played inthere, but we always have you
know a heart-to-heart chat, andthen since I'm just horny beyond
belief, then we have sex.
SPEAKER_04 (51:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (51:32):
Okay, so that's good.
So the reconnection sexafterwards is a thing for you
guys now.
SPEAKER_05 (51:39):
It is, it's fun.
I I mean it's not like it's notlike we couldn't reconnect just
by cuddling.
SPEAKER_04 (51:44):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (51:45):
Like we absolutely could, but it's also fun for us
because we enjoy having sex witheach other.
Yeah.
Uh that is just kind of a funway for us to just kind of, you
know, enjoy what we just did.
She's still horny um sometimes.
I'm definitely still horny, andso it just allows us to kind of
bond and uh go about our day.
SPEAKER_01 (52:05):
One of the very few cuck porn videos that I actually
ever enjoyed watching um was Imean, it was like a decade ago
now that I saw it, and it reallywas nothing special.
It was just a um amateur couple.
The husband filmed thisencounter like she was fucking
her bull.
(52:25):
And um and afterwards the bullleft.
The guy, the husband went andput like the camera on the table
or whatever to film, still film.
He went over to his wife.
The bull, I guess, had just comeinside of his wife, and uh he
went over to his wife and he puta stick in her about to have
(52:48):
sex, and he literally got he gotlike four pumps in and just like
completely lost it.
So I remember watching thatgoing, that is the hottest
fucking thing I think I've everseen up into that point because
I was like, wow, he's so turnedon by his wife right now that he
(53:12):
can't control himself, even inthe slightest.
And I don't know why that Ithink I think that started my
weird fetish with like prematureejaculation for Cox.
SPEAKER_00 (53:23):
I just was like, it's so embarrassing for the
husband, but so hot and like Idon't know, it's so fun.
Oh, I know that is great.
SPEAKER_05 (53:34):
Like you would love to go in there and like perform
for another 30 minutes.
Like, check it out, babe.
I'm just as good as he is, butyeah, you just you just went
through this crazy horny rollercoaster, and you feel that warm
pussy, and you're like, and I'mdone.
SPEAKER_00 (53:48):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (53:49):
I'm going to take a nap now.
SPEAKER_00 (53:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (53:53):
So I could totally see how that would be fucking
amazing.
Like such a climactic end to thewhole thing.
SPEAKER_05 (54:01):
Yeah, it is so fun.
SPEAKER_01 (54:03):
And fun for her too to watch you just completely
lose your mind.
SPEAKER_05 (54:08):
Yeah, and it's probably a relief too, because
she probably just went threerounds with somebody.
The last thing she wants to dois go another 30 minutes.
SPEAKER_01 (54:17):
Well, I absolutely love your story so much.
There's a lot to be learned.
And speaking of that, do youhave like we're we're gonna wrap
this up because we're almost outof time, but do you have some
tips and advice that you wouldlove to give any other couples
who are out there thinking aboutdoing cackling for the first
time and maybe back in the sameshoes that you were in when you
(54:41):
were trying to convince yourwife to do this?
SPEAKER_05 (54:44):
Uh yeah, I mean, it's probably advice they've all
heard before.
Um, I obviously everybody sayscommunication and that's key.
I don't think you'll understandthe level of communication you
need until you get into it.
Uh you have to be willing totalk about everything.
Uh and then the other thing Ithink that's helped us is like
(55:05):
learn to laugh.
Like, you know what, not everyencounter goes right, not
everything works.
If at the end of the day the twoof you can laugh it off and move
forward together, um that'sthat's the what I would consider
success.
SPEAKER_01 (55:21):
I love that so much.
And you're right, there is a awhole different level of
communication that you need topractice in order to be able to
really thrive with this kind ofdynamic in your relationship.
It is not just a oh, let's talkabout it.
It's like, oh, let me be themost vulnerable, emotionally
(55:41):
naked person I have ever been inmy life with you right now, kind
of communication, which isreally hard for a lot of people.
SPEAKER_05 (55:51):
I mean, we're we we're at least men, everybody's
trying to be all stoic and Idon't have feelings, and uh it
doesn't work.
It doesn't work until you canreally open up and and you know
discuss how you feel and andlisten to how she feels.
SPEAKER_01 (56:07):
Yes, yeah.
I love how you said that youwere that what you had to do to
get over the emotional breakdownwas to actually listen to your
wife and what she was saying.
I love that.
SPEAKER_05 (56:20):
Yeah, no, I mean she she's the anchor, she's the one
that has been steady the wholetime.
Um, it was my idea.
She's taken, you know, taken itand run with it.
But if I had tr kept trying torun the show and and kept trying
to do things my way, um itwouldn't have worked.
SPEAKER_01 (56:38):
Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm really happy that youguys have made the changes that
you need to make in order toreally uh figure out a way of
doing cuckolding that works forboth of you, but especially what
works for her.
And at the end of the day,that's the most important thing.
So that's great.
SPEAKER_05 (56:53):
I agree.
SPEAKER_01 (56:54):
Um, all right, that's it for uh the show today.
We've run out of time.
I will include your Twitterhandle in the show notes for
today.
Um, and then maybe, maybe Icould have you on for a Pillow
Talk live event sometime in theQueen's Quarters community, not
to put you on the spot rightnow, but we can chat about that.
(57:15):
But Sin, thank you so much forbeing on the show today.
This was a lot of fun and I loveyour story.
Thank you for having me uhthat's gonna be it for today's
episode.
Thank you so much.
Here's what's coming up on the show.
SPEAKER_05 (00:05):
So the angst was gone, and now I was dealing with
everything that I had just seen,everything that I had heard.
I just watched some guy pound mywife for you know 40 minutes, a
feat I can't achieve.
He was bigger than me, lastedlonger than me, and in my head,
it was it was like the end.
Like everything that I hadfeared and we had talked about
(00:26):
at the beginning, like, oh, thatwill never happen.
I came crashing down.
In my head, it was all going tohappen.
You know, she was never gonnawant to have sex with me again.
She was totally disappointed inme, and she was only ever gonna
want to have guys like that.
And so, what's the point ofhaving me around?
Yeah, and those were all thethoughts like I could not stop.
It was just a non-stop flood ofwhat have I done to my life?
(00:48):
What have I done to my marriage?
Uh I was at some point in time,I was like sitting in the on the
floor of the shower while shewas like rubbing my shoulders
and balling, like, I ruined it,I ruined it, we're done.
SPEAKER_01 (01:08):
This is the Venus Cuckled just Podcast, a place to
learn all things cuckolding forthe curious, for the passionate,
and for the sexually empoweredwoman who wants it all.
(01:36):
Welcome to the show.
I'm your host, Venus.
Thanks for joining me today.
And uh, you know what?
Over the years I've had a lot ofguys share with me that they
have never been cocked before,that they have a real fear
around what it would be like,because it's one thing to
fantasize about it, and it canbe entirely different in
(01:59):
reality.
And so today's show is a littlebit of a cautionary tale when it
comes to getting cocked for thefirst time.
Um, but it's also a kind of aroadmap to turning things around
and actually making it work foryou, for the both of you, for
you and for her.
So it's a really good episodefor couples and singles, anybody
(02:20):
who is curious to learn aboutwhat it might actually really be
like and what you can do to kindof prepare for something that
might be a might be a little bitdifferent, might feel a little
bit different in reality.
And I am hoping uh to have thisguest on for a Pillow Talk live
event in the uh Queen's Quarterscommunity.
(02:40):
So if you want, you can join in,listen in, you can ask
questions, it's quiteinteractive, it's a lot of fun,
and it's free to be able to joinlive.
So keep an eye out in theQueen's Quarters community.
Uh the link is in the show notesfor today's episode.
The next live pillow talk eventthat is booked is for Tuesday,
(03:02):
December the 9th.
So mark your calendar.
This is December 9th, it's gonnabe at 12 p.m.
Pacific time, that's 3 p.m.
Eastern.
And that is going to be with myguest Carl, who was on the show
recently.
He was on the show that wascalled Stealthy Cuckolding.
Uh Tasting Another Man in YourWife.
(03:23):
And what a cool story that was.
So he's gonna join me.
We're gonna be talking a littlebit more about that show.
And so I'm sure you guys aregonna be interested in joining
in for that one.
It's gonna be great.
So have a look for the link tobe able to RSVP uh for that
event.
It is free to join live.
So I'll put the link in the shownotes for today.
(03:45):
And lastly, well, a second tolast actually.
Um just a quick reminder.
If you listen to this podcast onYouTube, please don't do that
anymore.
Please find a different place tolisten to this podcast because
YouTube has been removing myepisodes.
(04:06):
I've had people emailing melike, oh, it's been a month
since you put in any episodesout.
I'm like, actually, no, it'sonly because on YouTube they
keep taking down my episodes andgiving me a strike, and they're
going to cancel my whole fuckingYouTube account at any point in
time now.
So please, if you listen onYouTube, know that my days are
(04:28):
numbered on there.
I can also not um post anylinks, and um I'm definitely
missing lots of episodes.
So if you listen to it onYouTube, please stop.
Please listen on somewhere else.
You can listen to it anytime onVenusCucklegis.com or on Apple
Podcasts, Spotify, basically allof the podcast apps are just
(04:51):
even like online, just Googlesearch, you can listen to it
that way.
Um so there's lots of other waysto listen to it.
But yeah, YouTube is being apain in the fucking ass for me
and it's not fun.
Anyway, last but not least, itis Christmas time.
I can't believe it.
It's almost Christmas.
It's every time this around thistime of year, it just sneaked up
(05:11):
on me.
But I've had uh several peopleasking me about a wish list,
which is really nice because I Idon't like I don't normally
share that very much.
Um I certainly don't ask peopleto buy me things or anything
like that.
But um I have had a lot ofpeople asking me, do you want
something as a Christmas gift?
(05:31):
And I was like, oh, that's sonice.
So I did put together a wishlist.
Um and I will put the link inthe show notes for today.
If you are one of those peoplethat is just feeling like you
want to give back to Venus, hey,why not?
I've made a list, so it's therefor you.
All right, that's it forannouncements.
Let's jump into this show.
(05:52):
You're gonna love it.
Here we go.
All right, joining me on theshow.
I have uh my guest his name, hegoes by the name of Sin, and
he's gonna share a little storyabout his cuckolding journey.
And I'm really excited for thisone.
Thanks for joining me on theshow.
(06:13):
Say hello to all of thelisteners.
SPEAKER_05 (06:16):
Hi, listeners, how are you?
I'm glad to be here.
SPEAKER_01 (06:19):
Well, thanks for coming on the show.
You sent me an email because Iput a post out regarding uh I
wanted to talk about post-netregret, which I got a lot of
people sending in, like theywere like, Oh yeah, I definitely
I want to talk about that andstuff.
And I had a lot of people who Italked to, but very few actu who
actually went through likepost-nut clarity, post-nut
(06:39):
regret with cuckolding.
So I'm excited to have you onthe show because I think that
this will be a reallyinteresting story to tell.
So uh, so I Sin, you aremarried, correct?
SPEAKER_05 (06:51):
I am married.
SPEAKER_01 (06:52):
How long have you been married for?
SPEAKER_05 (06:55):
Oh a dozen years.
SPEAKER_01 (06:58):
Okay.
And you are the one that firstbrought up cuckolding to your
wife, right?
SPEAKER_05 (07:04):
Yes, yep.
SPEAKER_01 (07:06):
Okay, and how did you bring that up to her?
SPEAKER_05 (07:10):
Um, I you know, I didn't really know what it was
called.
Um she had never had sex withanybody but me.
And um just kind of got the ideathat we could explore outside of
our marriage, not quite swing,um, but that she could, you
know, try to the guys thatwouldn't care, I swear.
(07:31):
Um and that that was years agowhen I brought it up and we
played with the idea, she wasvery hesitant.
Um But we you know, started withlike looking at apps, having her
chat with guys just to see thatyes, she's still attractive,
yes, people still like her.
Um until it, you know, finallywent to acting on it.
SPEAKER_01 (07:53):
And how long did that take where you had brought
it up between where you hadbrought it up and when you are
when she was like, Okay,alright, fine, we can do this.
SPEAKER_05 (08:03):
You know, realistically, like between
talking about it, likerole-playing it in the bedroom,
probably a year and a half totwo years of of just you know, I
I was pushy, I'll admit that.
Um, but I was I can't force herto do anything, so it was it was
just constantly, you know, atheme if we were doing something
more than just like vanilla sex.
(08:23):
It was always in the background.
SPEAKER_04 (08:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (08:26):
Uh and then her her talking to people, that was
probably six months before weever uh did anything.
You know, we got on dating appsand what's that?
SPEAKER_01 (08:37):
Did she did she so you said you were pushy?
Did was she getting like annoyedwith you or or she ever like
just like fucking drop it or Ohoh yeah, oh yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (08:48):
Yeah, yeah.
I mean she would you know, shewould tolerate like the the
fantasy for a while, like, ohokay, that's cute, ha ha ha
until I until I would be like,Well, why don't we do it?
You know, the fantasy is reallyfun to talk about, I'm sure
it'll be fun in real life.
Um and she would have to shewould have to, you know, set me
down like, hey look, this is me,you're not the one doing
(09:09):
anything, so yeah, let me go myown pace.
Um that's probab that wasprobably like a it was cyclic,
right?
Like she would set me down, soI'd take a step back and pretend
like I didn't really want itanymore.
Uh but uh the the idea ispervasive.
unknown (09:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (09:28):
Once it's in your head, it's really hard to get
out.
So I kept bringing it up andprobably pissing her off plenty.
SPEAKER_00 (09:35):
This is a common theme.
Oh, I'm sure of it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:40):
Um, so that's interesting.
Uh was it but eventually she waslike, all right, fine, I'll do
it.
What do you was she like, I'lldo it for you, or I'll do it
like one time, or I'll do it toshut you up, or was she like,
oh, I'm gonna do it because itsounds fun.
SPEAKER_05 (09:58):
It's it's probably a hybrid of all of those.
Um I i if she chimed in, shewould probably agree with me,
I'm guessing.
SPEAKER_03 (10:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (10:07):
Uh we had met somebody just to discuss it with
them on there was no intentionof play.
We just wanted to see what itwas like to talk to somebody who
had been in the lifestyle as abull.
And he was so cool.
He was just mellow and really umreally genuine and kind, and so
we met him, talked to him, andthat kind of put her fears um at
(10:28):
rest.
But uh we didn't actually playwith him, so we met him, and
then a couple months later Ifinally convinced her, like,
hey, let's do it, you know,fine, let's do it.
We're adults, we can do this.
Um, but at that time, she didn'twant to do the app finding.
So she had me going through theapps, talking to the people,
(10:50):
doing all the screening.
And I don't I'm not blaming her,it's not her fault that it went
bad.
Um but we just didn't know whatwe were doing.
So we found a guy who uh youknow claimed to be like an
experienced bull and brought himto our house, which again
another mistake we made.
Um and then and then she justwent through with it.
(11:13):
I don't know.
We we didn't know like you couldjust tell somebody no.
Like if you were to meetsomebody today of it's totally
fine for her to be like, I'm notcomfortable, I'm not doing this.
SPEAKER_04 (11:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (11:23):
Um so we went through with it with the guy
that we met ten minutes before.
SPEAKER_01 (11:28):
Um, okay, we're gonna get into that in detail,
but uh first I want to back up alittle bit.
When you were trying to convinceyour wife to do this, I know
that you were kind offlip-flocking flip-flopping back
and forth where you would, youknow, pretend that you didn't
want her to do it anymore, andthen you would bring it up again
and doing all that stuff.
SPEAKER_04 (11:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:47):
Um, I just I'm curious to know in your mind, I
know that it's like a hotfantasy.
You've probably been thinkingabout it for a really long time,
something that you thought youreally wanted.
But during that time where youwere trying to convince her, was
there any at any point where youfelt like maybe this could harm
(12:11):
our relationship, or maybe itcould go bad, or where you were
like, you know, a bit scared togo through with it?
Did that like was that part ofyour thinking back then?
SPEAKER_05 (12:22):
Yeah, yeah, it is.
Um and it was.
Uh and you know, it felt like wetalked that through so well.
You know, she reassured me thatuh, you know, she'll I'll always
love you, even if somebody has abigger dick or you know, has sex
better than you, and and viceversa.
I was like, I won't judge youfor doing this.
But with guys, we tend to thinkwith our dicks.
(12:45):
So even though like logic toldme like there were chances that
this could go wrong.
Um that never won.
That that was never theprevailing thought at the end of
the day.
It was like, oh yeah, that couldbe risky, but we've managed ten
years of marriage, we can pullthis off.
SPEAKER_01 (12:59):
Okay, so you thought the thought was always there.
Okay, so you thought your thefoundation of your marriage was
so strong that whatever bumpsyou came across that you'd be
you'd be okay, you'd be able tofigure it out.
Yeah, yeah, beautifully put.
Did she have any did she talk toyou about any kind of fears that
(13:20):
she had about how it wouldaffect your relationship?
SPEAKER_05 (13:24):
Oh, certainly.
Yeah, I mean, in the the twoyears really leading up to us
acting on it, uh, we hadcountless like late night
conversations, just laying inbed, like well, what if, you
know, the what if game.
And trying to talk through everyscenario that could possibly
happen.
SPEAKER_01 (13:42):
Did you?
That's good that you had thoseconversations.
That's I'm glad to hear that.
SPEAKER_05 (13:48):
Well, they they they worked to a degree.
They got us to doing it, but thethe the reality's different than
the fantasy.
SPEAKER_04 (13:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (13:56):
Um but you know, we thought we were ready.
We we definitely did, and we wehad talked it through, and she
is um far more emotionallymature than I am.
I'll say that.
So when she says, I'm not gonnaleave you because the guy has a
bigger dick.
Now, in hindsight, I I knowthat.
Um But that was always a fear ofmine.
(14:18):
Her fears were largely like, youknow, the the slut shaming, or
what does that make me if I havesex with someone other than my
husband?
SPEAKER_04 (14:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:26):
Um and there's really no way you can convince
somebody that that's not gonnabe your case.
Uh we trust each other, but someof these fears are so
deep-rooted societally andculturally that you just you
can't do anything about it untilyou kind of test the water and
see what it's like.
At least that's that's badadvice.
I hope nobody does that.
SPEAKER_01 (14:47):
So that's kind of what we did.
So let's so let's talk about itbecause I think there's a lot of
things to be learned by fromyour first cuckolding
experience, your story of thatand how that went.
Um, so first of all, where didyou meet or how where did you
find this guy?
You were the one doing thesearching for the guy, right?
(15:07):
Your wife was not involved withthat, right?
But did she have like a criteriathat she wanted for the guy?
Wow.
SPEAKER_05 (15:16):
Yeah, I don't want to.
She did and didn't.
Like largely it was how big ishis seen it.
Um, does he have experience?
Because you know, we hadlistened to podcasts, and people
are like, find somebody who'sexperienced.
SPEAKER_04 (15:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (15:28):
Um he claimed to have experience, whether he did
or didn't, I don't know.
Um and she kind of has a look,but I I know now uh that I could
pick the most gorgeous guy onearth, and it's it's she's just
not gonna like him.
And I've given up trying tofigure out why.
(15:49):
Uh but at the time I would belike, What about this guy?
What about this guy?
Until she got bored enough,she's like, Yeah, that guy's
fine.
So that's how we found the firstguy.
He was kind of uh that guy'sfine.
SPEAKER_01 (16:00):
Okay.
So he was kind of mediocre.
She was just like, whatever,just let's just do this.
She was probably getting tiredof the f searching forever.
SPEAKER_05 (16:09):
And the constant nagging from her husband on the
front.
SPEAKER_01 (16:12):
Oh shit.
SPEAKER_05 (16:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (16:15):
Oh dear.
Okay, so you reached you reachedout to him, you connected.
Was he local to you?
SPEAKER_05 (16:21):
Uh he about 30 minutes away, so Okay.
Pretty pretty local uh comparedto what uh you know many of the
bulls around here are.
So not close enough that you cannext door neighbor.
SPEAKER_01 (16:34):
Okay.
And so you set aside a day andtime, you were like, okay, so
he's gonna come over to ourhouse, and was it a like just a
hang in?
Was it was gonna be like ahangout, or was this gonna be
the f the f she was he wasdefinitely gonna fuck her?
SPEAKER_05 (16:51):
So we we had this grand scheme, this this amazing
plan where we would we would wewould set up almost a timer and
it was gonna be 30 minutes.
He'd come over, we'd have acocktail or something, chat for
30 minutes, and after 30minutes, uh she would, you know,
like step out of the room andsend me a text like, Yeah, let's
do this, let's not do this.
SPEAKER_00 (17:10):
Oh okay.
SPEAKER_05 (17:13):
It was it was feeble.
Because once you're in in themoment and somebody's there, uh
she would call herself a peoplepleaser.
SPEAKER_04 (17:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (17:22):
So she was far more likely to say yes than she was
to say no or to stay true to howshe felt.
SPEAKER_01 (17:28):
Oh, I so understand that.
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (17:32):
Yeah, and so so you know, he came over, we did that,
um, but the pressure was there.
SPEAKER_01 (17:38):
Um so how did you feel about him?
How what was your vibe?
Like, what did you get from him?
SPEAKER_05 (17:45):
Uh he was a nice guy.
Like for me, I was you know,really worried about her, and at
the same time, I'm like, no way,this is finally gonna happen.
Uh when it came down to likethat 30-minute timeline, which
terrible idea.
Uh and she said yes, it was kindof like, sweet, all right, let's
do this.
Uh but otherwise he was nice.
(18:06):
There were no he he wasn't likea there were no red flags.
SPEAKER_03 (18:11):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (18:11):
Just meeting somebody like that.
Nothing like that.
It just she has a particulartype, uh, and me being her
husband, I cannot I can't pickup on what that is.
SPEAKER_01 (18:22):
So did when you were planning this night, obviously
this is potentially you're inyour mind gonna be the first
time you've been cucked and andthat she's done this.
And did you guys do any of thelike the typical cuckolding
rituals of you help her getready and or buy her lingerie or
do that kind of stuff inadvance?
SPEAKER_05 (18:44):
None of that.
Uh she was she picked what shewanted to wear.
I uh I you know I had like theroom ready and like candles and
condoms and lubes and toys andall that type of stuff.
I I was like the support crew,but I didn't do any of the the
picking out what she wanted towear.
I might have weighed in onsomething, but yeah.
(19:07):
I really wanted her to becomfortable.
SPEAKER_01 (19:09):
How did that feel to be getting the room ready like
that?
SPEAKER_05 (21:46):
Oh, it's hot.
I mean, even even knowing howthe night went, it was it was
amazing.
Like this is like uh the angst,which up until then, you know,
you only feel it when you'retalking to people, there's a the
low level angst.
Once somebody's over your houseand you know it's you know
there's a really goodpossibility it's gonna happen,
(22:06):
it ramps up to you know, like 15out of 10.
It's wild.
SPEAKER_01 (22:10):
And so during that time when you were, you know,
peak angst, I guess before theystarted fucking, um was there
any part of your mind that waslike, you know, like I hope this
goes well, and like I don'tknow, maybe it won't?
Or were you apprehensive at all,or was it just pure like you
(22:32):
were turned on, you wereexcited, you were like 10 out of
10, let's do this.
SPEAKER_05 (22:38):
Uh if I could have both 10 out of 10, let's do this
and apprehension at the sametime, I would say yeah.
Because I really wanted it towork for her because at that
point, you know, you're in thatlike cocktail of this is amazing
going on in your body, like thisis so fun.
And she's still my wife, I stilllove her.
Um I'm not trying to likeprostitute her out for my own
(22:59):
enjoyment.
Right.
Um so yes, I was nervous and Icould tell she was nervous, but
at the same time, it was it wasso fun, it's such a rush.
Um that one beat out the other.
SPEAKER_01 (23:12):
Okay.
So the reason why I'm asking islike there's so many guys out
there that really, really wanttheir wife to cuck them, or you
know, their future wife, orwhatever.
They want this fantasy to cometrue so badly, but they're
scared because they don't knowwhat it's actually gonna be
like.
So it's fascinating to hear whatthat was actually like for you
(23:34):
for for that first time.
Now, did this bull did he askyou what you wanted as far as
like any boundaries or wish listor any like any kind of vibe
that you wanted from him?
SPEAKER_05 (23:48):
Oh yeah, yeah, we did.
We had a long conversation.
Um we did have rules early on,um, you know, like obviously
protection was a must.
We might have had the no, wedidn't.
Early on, we had talked about nokissing, um, but then that just
didn't make sense becausekissing's kind of intimate.
So we had thrown that one out.
(24:09):
And we had like, because youknow, I thought I was living out
my fantasy, and like this guywas these two were gonna perform
for me.
I I know that's not really whatI was thinking, but in hindsight
that's kind of how it came out.
I wanted him to play like thepartially demeaning bull, you
know, like the guy who haslittle comments for me
throughout the session.
SPEAKER_03 (24:30):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (24:31):
Um so yeah, we did discuss some of that and he was
he was on board with all of it.
He's like, Yeah, yeah, I can dothat.
I'm totally good.
Uh don't have a four, I'm thebest type thing.
SPEAKER_02 (24:40):
Oh no.
I'm the best.
SPEAKER_01 (24:43):
Oh no.
Okay.
Um, so how how did it startthen?
I g I'm guessing that you know,you said after 30 minutes she
came out of the room and shesent you a message and said,
Yes, let's do this.
So what happened after that?
SPEAKER_05 (24:57):
Uh uh then it was um we went to uh we have a unused
bedroom.
So that was the room I had setup.
We uh we finished and uh theywent together and I followed
them and closed the door andthen it started with like very
short amount of kissing, andthen uh I don't know how much
(25:17):
detail you want, but give me allthe details.
Most vivid thing I rememberinitially was I sat oh yeah, we
put our own couch here in thebedroom, it's perfect.
SPEAKER_01 (25:27):
Of course.
SPEAKER_05 (25:29):
And so I sat in the chair and they were in front of
me.
Uh and they turned sideways so Icould see when she took his
pants off.
And he was part of rock already.
She got on her knees, startedsucking him off, and he was
looking at me and makingcomments like, oh, to her, like
you've never had one back.
(25:50):
So it was playing out like aporn movie.
Um you know, he definitely hasbeen couple porn.
Um but yeah, it was pretty fun.
They did that, and then uh theyeventually she got naked, they
both got naked and startedtrying as many positions as they
could.
(26:10):
Um and from my point of view,because I'm not her, it looked
like she was enjoying herself,like he was going hard, she was
moaning, uh, he discovered thatshe squirked.
SPEAKER_02 (26:24):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (26:24):
Which she has a little bit of a thing about.
She's not the biggest fan of it.
SPEAKER_02 (26:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (26:29):
And once he figured that out, that's all he would go
for.
SPEAKER_02 (26:31):
Oh no.
SPEAKER_05 (26:36):
But it was yeah, I mean, from where I was at, like
they probably up to like 30 to40 minutes.
They had to take breaks.
I think he was about to die.
He was uh he would go as hard ashe could and have to like just
sit on the ground and catch hisbreath.
Um I didn't expect that.
(26:57):
Um they obviously don't do thatin the movies.
SPEAKER_02 (26:59):
Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_05 (27:00):
But the whole time, like he was you know doing
different poses and I swear, II'm misremembering this, but I
swear he did like the gas dawn,like leg up on the bed to pose,
like oh my gosh, it was so bad.
And like he kept looking over,he's like, Yeah, yeah, she liked
that.
SPEAKER_01 (27:18):
And uh oh, so this sounds like it was absolutely
performative, like for you.
This was a show for you, andprobably your wife was doing the
performative sex for you.
But at the time, I'm I imagineyou picked up on that,
obviously, if you're like, oh,it was kind of corny, like all
(27:39):
these, you know, yeah, it itfelt it felt forced.
SPEAKER_05 (27:42):
It felt so forced.
Like I realize that you know,hard sex can be hard sex, but
like the looks over theshoulder, and like he was he was
foc focused more on himself, um,almost very little on her.
Uh you know, he would talk toher and say things to her, and
you know, they'd switchpositions and they had a a
(28:02):
little bit of back and forth,but it was it was largely he was
putting on a show for theaudience, I think.
I mean I can't get in his head,but that's that's what it
appeared to be a thing you knowin hindsight.
SPEAKER_01 (28:16):
And you were jerking off.
Oh, I was.
Was it the hottest thing you'veever seen up up to that point,
was it?
SPEAKER_05 (28:23):
Oh my gosh, yeah.
And I I was like if I hadactually been jerking off, it
would have been like six secondsbecause it I mean I had to like
take long breaks.
Yeah.
I was like, okay, okay, I'mgonna I'm gonna slow this down.
I don't want my fun to end.
Oh, that didn't last.
I I went I I I edged as long asI could and then uh totally
(28:46):
wrecked one of my shirts, whichI well I didn't ex I wasn't
planning on jerking off, but Icouldn't I couldn't help myself.
It was gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01 (28:56):
Well yeah, because they were going at it for a long
time.
I mean, that's a decent amountlike length of time for fucking
that's really hard.
SPEAKER_05 (29:06):
Yeah, and it it was really hard.
We've actually nicknamed him.
We have a a little, it's not alittle black book, it's a very
large black book.
Not saying there's a lot ofpeople in there.
But what we write down ourperspectives of every person
we've met, yeah.
We omit names, but we give thema nickname and we've nicknamed
him the jackhammer.
SPEAKER_01 (29:24):
I was gonna say, was it the jackhammer?
unknown (29:27):
No way.
SPEAKER_05 (29:28):
That's exactly what it is.
SPEAKER_01 (29:30):
That's so funny.
Yeah, that style of sex.
Um, I mean, I'm all for a goodhard fucking once in a while,
but I really not into thefucking straight jackhammer for
30, 40 minutes.
Um, that's what you see in porn,and that's where you see the
(29:50):
fake orgasms from women in porn.
It's like, oh my god, gettingfucked so hard.
Um but I don't think that um inreality, it's not all that
enjoyable, I don't think.
From for me, and I think mostwomen would probably say that
it's you know, they can handlelike it's fun for a bit, but you
(30:13):
need to have some sort of likesexual variety when sensual
variety when it comes tofucking.
And uh it sounds like there wasnone of that with that
experience.
SPEAKER_05 (30:24):
No, it went it went from zero to ten.
Like as soon as she had, youknow, sucked him off for a few
minutes, it was at 10.
And it w it stayed at 10, exceptfor the times when he was
catching his breath.
SPEAKER_01 (30:35):
Yeah, he probably thought he gave her the best
fucking that she'd ever had.
And meanwhile, she's like, Ohgod, no.
SPEAKER_05 (30:42):
Yeah, he had he had serious chance syndrome.
He's like, I am the best.
SPEAKER_01 (30:46):
Oh, that's a red flag.
SPEAKER_05 (32:53):
Yeah, I know now.
SPEAKER_01 (32:56):
So you were jerking off.
You ruined your shirt.
What went through your mindafter you came?
Because they were not finished,right?
SPEAKER_05 (33:06):
Yeah, they weren't finished.
They probably went like another10 minutes after that.
So I I I came and then there wasthere was a letdown, a little
bit of a letdown that happened,you know, that wasn't quite the
post-match clarity that reallyhit later once everything had
stopped.
Yeah.
But it was kind of like, oh,okay, well, it's still a good
show.
Like you know, I still likedwhat I was seeing, but uh the
(33:31):
high had kind of passed.
And now it's kind of like, okay,okay, well maybe I'll focus on
what she's seeing or you know,focus on her as opposed to
focusing on myself.
SPEAKER_01 (33:39):
Were you taking any pictures or videos or anything
like that?
SPEAKER_05 (33:43):
Yes, yes, yeah.
So in between jacking off, uh Iwould tuck my dick away and then
go take videos and photos.
SPEAKER_01 (33:51):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (33:52):
Try different angles.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:55):
This is like the full cuck session.
I'm just picturing it in mymind.
SPEAKER_05 (34:00):
We had it planned, right?
Like these are all the thingsyou have to check to have a a
cuck session.
And and you know, w almost.
(36:13):
We almost hit them all.
SPEAKER_01 (36:15):
Right.
I and I get, I understand whycouples want to do that.
They want to basically likecheck the box for the ultimate
cuckolding fantasy for theirvery first time ever, ever,
ever.
And I just feel like that's sounrealistic.
And not just unrealistic, but umnot going to feel as fulfilling
(36:38):
as you expect.
SPEAKER_05 (36:42):
No, yeah.
Um, but yeah the first time,like there's a lot of things
going to head, like this mightonly happen once.
Right.
Like maybe you do this once andit never happens again.
SPEAKER_00 (36:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (36:53):
Um, and so you kind of want to hit everything all at
once.
Like, okay, we have to do thisright.
SPEAKER_00 (36:59):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (37:00):
Um hindsight, right is a word you get to define as
opposed to what society defined.
But we didn't know that at thetime.
SPEAKER_01 (37:10):
Yeah, because your checklist, your was based on b
the typical cuckolding pornscript, right?
SPEAKER_05 (37:17):
Oh, pretty much, yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (37:20):
Okay, so what happened after that?
What happened after?
SPEAKER_05 (37:28):
So so like I was saying, this guy was having a
hard time.
Um like I I feel like he wasabout to have a heart attack
perhaps.
Because he was going hard.
Eventually, uh, I forget if hehad to call it quit or she had
to call it clips, or we justcommunally called it clips.
We're like, hey, okay.
What do we call it for thenight, right?
SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
Yeah, it's half an hour.
SPEAKER_05 (37:48):
So he actually did not come.
Uh but he, you know, we kind ofjust decided, okay, that's
enough.
SPEAKER_04 (37:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (37:56):
He got dressed.
You know, I walked him up to thefront door, said, Hey, thanks,
that was really fun.
He drove off.
SPEAKER_01 (38:03):
Um I bet he took Viagra.
I bet that's what he did.
He probably took Viagra.
SPEAKER_05 (38:08):
Yeah, I'm guessing I'm guessing he rubbed one out
and took Viagra before he cameover.
So he was just not going tocome.
SPEAKER_04 (38:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (38:16):
We we we analyzed that in depth afterwards.
Like, how on earth?
But yeah, no, so he didn't come,he left.
Uh then I went back to the thethe bedroom and she was still
just laying on the bed, and wewe cuddled for a while and
talked about it, and that's likewhen it really hit home for me.
SPEAKER_01 (38:35):
Did you lick her pussy at all?
SPEAKER_05 (38:38):
No, no.
I think by that point in timelike had started to cool down.
SPEAKER_02 (38:42):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (38:43):
Um and it was also getting back to her and like
cuddling her.
Uh like I was dressed, she wasnaked.
Um I started to like payattention to what was going on
with her as opposed to myself.
And uh, you know, the firstsimple question, like, oh, how
was that?
And her response was somethingto the effect of like like meh.
(39:06):
Like it was it was just that,you know, it wasn't anything
special at all.
SPEAKER_02 (39:09):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (39:11):
So no, there was no I I don't even think we had sex
afterwards because I had alreadycome.
Um we just laid and talked for awhile and then uh went up and
took a shower together and justcontinued talking about you know
our thoughts about what hadhappened.
SPEAKER_01 (39:28):
Okay, so you guys got into the shower and you're
still kind of talking about it.
And I understand that it's rightaround this time that you
started to kind of crash andburn emotionally, is that right?
SPEAKER_05 (39:42):
Oh, it was yes, yes.
That's uh that's anunderstatement right there.
Yeah, I I crashed and burnedhard.
SPEAKER_01 (39:49):
So what happened?
How come this hit you?
Because you seemed like up untilthat point, you know, you were
good.
Like, you know, everything wascool, everything's good, and
what happened?
Was it was there something thattriggered it, or is just a flood
of emotions?
SPEAKER_05 (40:05):
I think it was so it's it's the flood of emotion,
you know, all the angst had kindof like kind of just crashed in
on itself.
So the angst was gone, and nowit's dealing with everything
that I had just seen, everythingthat I heard.
Um, I just watched some guypound my wife for you know 40
minutes.
Uh a feat I can't achieve.
(40:26):
He was, you know, bigger thanme, um lasted longer than me.
Uh and and in my head, it was itwas like the end.
Like everything that I hadfeared and we had talked about
at the beginning, like, oh thatwill never happen.
I came crashing down.
In my head it was all going tohappen.
Like we were gonna, you know,she was never gonna want to have
(40:47):
sex with me again.
She was totally disappointed inme, and she was only ever gonna
want to have guys like that, andso what's the point of having me
around?
Um Yeah, those were all thethoughts like I could not stop.
It was just a non-stop flood ofwhat have I done to my life,
what have I done to my marriage?
(41:08):
Um and so yeah, we're in theshower and I start going through
all this in my head, I'mlocalizing a lot of it.
Uh it's funny because sheprobably should have been the
one, like, what did I just do?
But she was really trying totalk me off the edge of a cliff.
Telling me that you know, it'sokay, I don't feel that way, it
wasn't that good, you don'tunderstand, I I wasn't really
(41:30):
enjoying myself.
But in my head, it was over.
Like everything I had built fora decade was over.
Uh I was at one point in time Iwas like sitting in the on the
floor of the shower while shewas like rubbing my shoulders
and bawling, like, I ruined it,I ruined it, we're done.
SPEAKER_04 (41:47):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05 (41:48):
You know, I ruined our marriage, this it's never
gonna last.
I can't believe I did this.
I'll it'll never be the same.
And in my head, you know, shehad just had the best sex with
her life.
And being a guy, sex iseverything.
So I thought to her, uh, youknow, how could she ever come
back from this?
How could she ever enjoy sexwith me?
(42:11):
So it was just a a completecrash out.
SPEAKER_01 (42:15):
Oh my goodness.
So how long did that last for?
And you said you were like insinconsolable, like nothing she
you didn't believe anything shesaid when she was trying to
console you.
How long did that last for?
SPEAKER_05 (42:29):
It it was probably oh, well, I mean, the she was
able to calm me down that night,but I want to say in my head,
um, you know, I had I swore offcuckle being, I swore off
everything.
I'll never do that again.
Worst mistake of my life.
It probably lasted a coupleweeks, perhaps not as bad,
(42:52):
because she's very level headed.
She was able to f you know itbasically required me listening
to her as opposed to living inmy own head.
SPEAKER_04 (43:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:02):
And when I f when she finally, you know, got
through to me, like, look, I didnot enjoy it.
This guy was a jackhammer.
He didn't focus on me at all.
He only wanted to doperformative sex and and make it
look good.
And yeah.
He loved the fact that Isquirted, which I don't like.
And and so she had to reallytalk it through with me, like
what was going on in her headand why it was not spectacular.
unknown (43:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (43:25):
But that didn't really sink in for a couple
weeks.
SPEAKER_01 (43:28):
Because this had nothing really to do with your
wife.
This had to everything to dowith your own insecurities,
right?
SPEAKER_05 (43:37):
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, I mean this that's kind ofthe fun thing of cuckle being is
you You're actually playing withyour insecurities.
SPEAKER_00 (43:46):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (43:47):
You're using them as a fuel for, you know, sexual
gratification, more or less.
Um, and yeah, and so I was notready for seeing it in person or
what that would actually meanfor me.
Um Yeah, it was it was adefinitely a bigger hit than I
was expecting.
SPEAKER_01 (44:07):
So was there ever a time before that first
experience where you had heardof that kind of reaction where
cucks have, you know, this crashand burn emotionally, or like w
or did this completely catch youoff guard?
SPEAKER_05 (44:22):
Well, so you know, you hear about it because I'd
listened to podcasts, I'd listento yours, um and I'd I'd hadn't
read any books or done anythinglike that, but I'd I'd I really
thought I'd done that research.
And I knew that there was theinevitable crash, but you know,
I was like, well, why why wouldI be worried about that?
We have a perfect marriage.
We talk everything through.
(44:45):
Uh I really thought that there'sno way it would happen to me
because we planned foreverything, right?
We had a plan for everything.
Uh but when you're dealing withemotion, not logic, uh those
plans just get thrown out thewindow.
SPEAKER_01 (45:02):
Yes.
So and I I love the fact thatyou're sharing this story.
I love the fact that we'retalking about this because
there's so much emphasis put oncuckolding as a fantasy where
he's watching his wife have sex,and that's literally the only
the definition that you you eversee out there or hear about out
(45:22):
there.
But it is so much more complexthan just that.
And um, this aspect ofcuckolding that requires um a
deep level of care and almostlike emotional um cuck sitting,
emotional cuck caretaking, Ishould say, that a wife needs to
(45:44):
do or some most of the timeneeds to do could because I hear
this often with first timegetting cucked, where um it is
really it takes an emotionaltoll on the cuck.
And um, as you can imagine, ifyou don't have a really solid
rock solid uh relationship withyour wife or your partner, um
then that could be potentiallycatastrophic.
(46:05):
So there's a there's a lot of uhresponsibility that she has to
with emotional caretaking forher husband during this thing,
where she's probably not youknow anticipating that as being
a need.
But uh going back to when howthat all played out, I'm sure
(46:27):
like that you guys went andanalyzed the fuck out of that
whole experience and were like,okay, this is kind of where we
went off track.
This is where we could havedone, made different decisions
that would have turned outbetter.
This is some of the mistakesthat we made.
What were some of the thingsthat you guys immediately came
up with where we're you werelike, yeah, we fucked that up.
(46:50):
We should not have done that.
SPEAKER_05 (46:53):
Oh, yeah.
So there's really um probablytwo or three main takeaways.
The first was uh we stoppedmeeting people and planning on
playing that night.
Uh that was just such a badidea.
Because I know how pressureworks on her, um, I know how the
(47:14):
interest works on me, like youknow, a guy's there, they're
gonna have sex, of course I wantit to have it.
Uh so we we stopped that, now wedo uh like a platonic meet and
greet, like not not even with apotential play.
Like, hey, we'll meet you at abar or a restaurant, and we'll
chat.
We'll go home, we'll think aboutit, then if we want to meet up,
we'll schedule something.
(47:35):
So that that's one degree ofseparation that kind of allows
her to cool down, say, like, youknow what, I really like that
guy, I want to play with him.
Um the other one that wasprobably the hardest for me was
uh she took over finding people.
Um, because I I really lovedbeing involved.
(47:56):
It was fun.
I'd be like, oh, this guy's forme, you should try this.
And I felt really involved inthe whole process.
SPEAKER_04 (48:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (48:01):
Uh but for her, she's not I see a hot guy, I
want to sleep with him.
And she may she may think that,but for her to enjoy it, she
kind of wants to connect withthem before.
SPEAKER_04 (48:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (48:11):
She plays not like a boyfriend, but just hey, I
actually know this guy's nameand he's a nice person, so I
feel comfortable with it.
SPEAKER_01 (48:20):
Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (48:21):
Um so with her taking over, uh, she's able to
do that, right?
If she wants to chat with theguy for four months, uh she can
do that.
Um it's still I mean I've I'vecalmed down since but I'm always
interested.
Like, hey, do you have anyprospects right now?
How's it going?
So I'm still a little uhimpatient, but that was that was
(48:46):
a big one.
And then uh another one thatwasn't so important, but we
decided to stop bringing peopleto our house.
Like it was just that wasanother weird thing, like you
just brought a stranger to yourhouse to have sex with your wife
in front of you, like maybe waita time or two before you invite
them over.
Like that's that's your that'syour safe place.
SPEAKER_04 (49:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (49:08):
And so those three things are probably the three
main things we we institutedafter that.
SPEAKER_01 (49:13):
Right.
And what about the the sexualscript?
Because you guys went allfull-on cuck porn script.
What what about that?
Was that something that youtossed out the window and you're
like she's just gonna do whatshe wants?
SPEAKER_05 (49:28):
Yeah, good point.
I I forgot about that.
Um it's gone.
Completely gone.
Now it's uh um now it's justwhatever she wants, whatever the
other guy wants.
Um I don't even have to bethere.
Uh because I'd rather her justhave it feel natural.
Like performative sex is fun.
(49:50):
But it's also fun for her,especially on like meeting a guy
the first time, just to youknow, feel like there's no
pressure.
She can do whatever she wants,they can do whatever they want.
There's there's no reason toperform, there's nobody to
perform for.
SPEAKER_01 (50:05):
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's those is a lotof really good things that you
guys have changed since then.
But what about aftercare?
Um, was that something that youguys were like, all right, this
is what we need to make surethat we do after each time to
make sure you don't have thatcrash?
SPEAKER_05 (50:28):
Yes, yeah.
So I I think I can't tell ifthat crash would have happened
if we had had proper aftercareor not.
However, now I don't sit thereand jack off while they're
having sex.
I wait.
Um and then once the personleaves, um, you know, I'll come
in and we'll cuddle and we'lltalk about it and laugh about
(50:51):
the things that went wrong.
Um it's laughter's good healingmedicine and talk about what she
liked, what she didn't like.
And then we'll have, you know,like reconnected reconnection
sex and um is that super fun?
SPEAKER_01 (51:08):
Do you like come right away?
SPEAKER_05 (51:10):
It is it is super fun, and yes, yes.
I mean we've got other things uhuh in addition to that, like me
going down on her as soon as theperson's gone, or you know, like
so some of that has played inthere, but we always have you
know a heart-to-heart chat, andthen since I'm just horny beyond
belief, then we have sex.
SPEAKER_04 (51:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (51:32):
Okay, so that's good.
So the reconnection sexafterwards is a thing for you
guys now.
SPEAKER_05 (51:39):
It is, it's fun.
I I mean it's not like it's notlike we couldn't reconnect just
by cuddling.
SPEAKER_04 (51:44):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (51:45):
Like we absolutely could, but it's also fun for us
because we enjoy having sex witheach other.
Yeah.
Uh that is just kind of a funway for us to just kind of, you
know, enjoy what we just did.
She's still horny um sometimes.
I'm definitely still horny, andso it just allows us to kind of
bond and uh go about our day.
SPEAKER_01 (52:05):
One of the very few cuck porn videos that I actually
ever enjoyed watching um was Imean, it was like a decade ago
now that I saw it, and it reallywas nothing special.
It was just a um amateur couple.
The husband filmed thisencounter like she was fucking
her bull.
(52:25):
And um and afterwards the bullleft.
The guy, the husband went andput like the camera on the table
or whatever to film, still film.
He went over to his wife.
The bull, I guess, had just comeinside of his wife, and uh he
went over to his wife and he puta stick in her about to have
(52:48):
sex, and he literally got he gotlike four pumps in and just like
completely lost it.
So I remember watching thatgoing, that is the hottest
fucking thing I think I've everseen up into that point because
I was like, wow, he's so turnedon by his wife right now that he
(53:12):
can't control himself, even inthe slightest.
And I don't know why that Ithink I think that started my
weird fetish with like prematureejaculation for Cox.
SPEAKER_00 (53:23):
I just was like, it's so embarrassing for the
husband, but so hot and like Idon't know, it's so fun.
Oh, I know that is great.
SPEAKER_05 (53:34):
Like you would love to go in there and like perform
for another 30 minutes.
Like, check it out, babe.
I'm just as good as he is, butyeah, you just you just went
through this crazy horny rollercoaster, and you feel that warm
pussy, and you're like, and I'mdone.
SPEAKER_00 (53:48):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (53:49):
I'm going to take a nap now.
SPEAKER_00 (53:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (53:53):
So I could totally see how that would be fucking
amazing.
Like such a climactic end to thewhole thing.
SPEAKER_05 (54:01):
Yeah, it is so fun.
SPEAKER_01 (54:03):
And fun for her too to watch you just completely
lose your mind.
SPEAKER_05 (54:08):
Yeah, and it's probably a relief too, because
she probably just went threerounds with somebody.
The last thing she wants to dois go another 30 minutes.
SPEAKER_01 (54:17):
Well, I absolutely love your story so much.
There's a lot to be learned.
And speaking of that, do youhave like we're we're gonna wrap
this up because we're almost outof time, but do you have some
tips and advice that you wouldlove to give any other couples
who are out there thinking aboutdoing cackling for the first
time and maybe back in the sameshoes that you were in when you
(54:41):
were trying to convince yourwife to do this?
SPEAKER_05 (54:44):
Uh yeah, I mean, it's probably advice they've all
heard before.
Um, I obviously everybody sayscommunication and that's key.
I don't think you'll understandthe level of communication you
need until you get into it.
Uh you have to be willing totalk about everything.
Uh and then the other thing Ithink that's helped us is like
(55:05):
learn to laugh.
Like, you know what, not everyencounter goes right, not
everything works.
If at the end of the day the twoof you can laugh it off and move
forward together, um that'sthat's the what I would consider
success.
SPEAKER_01 (55:21):
I love that so much.
And you're right, there is a awhole different level of
communication that you need topractice in order to be able to
really thrive with this kind ofdynamic in your relationship.
It is not just a oh, let's talkabout it.
It's like, oh, let me be themost vulnerable, emotionally
(55:41):
naked person I have ever been inmy life with you right now, kind
of communication, which isreally hard for a lot of people.
SPEAKER_05 (55:51):
I mean, we're we we're at least men, everybody's
trying to be all stoic and Idon't have feelings, and uh it
doesn't work.
It doesn't work until you canreally open up and and you know
discuss how you feel and andlisten to how she feels.
SPEAKER_01 (56:07):
Yes, yeah.
I love how you said that youwere that what you had to do to
get over the emotional breakdownwas to actually listen to your
wife and what she was saying.
I love that.
SPEAKER_05 (56:20):
Yeah, no, I mean she she's the anchor, she's the one
that has been steady the wholetime.
Um, it was my idea.
She's taken, you know, taken itand run with it.
But if I had tr kept trying torun the show and and kept trying
to do things my way, um itwouldn't have worked.
SPEAKER_01 (56:38):
Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm really happy that youguys have made the changes that
you need to make in order toreally uh figure out a way of
doing cuckolding that works forboth of you, but especially what
works for her.
And at the end of the day,that's the most important thing.
So that's great.
SPEAKER_05 (56:53):
I agree.
SPEAKER_01 (56:54):
Um, all right, that's it for uh the show today.
We've run out of time.
I will include your Twitterhandle in the show notes for
today.
Um, and then maybe, maybe Icould have you on for a Pillow
Talk live event sometime in theQueen's Quarters community, not
to put you on the spot rightnow, but we can chat about that.
(57:15):
But Sin, thank you so much forbeing on the show today.
This was a lot of fun and I loveyour story.
Thank you for having me uhthat's gonna be it for today's
episode.
Thank you so much.
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