February 1, 2025 • 57 mins
This episode features K.D. from Kink3D.com and explores the intricate world of chastity, debunking myths and highlighting the psychological and emotional components of this kink. Learn how chastity can significantly enhance intimacy and redefine sexual experiences for both partners.
• Examination of common myths surrounding chastity
• Discussion on the psychological aspects of wearing a chastity cage
• Importance of proper fitting for comfort and satisfaction
• Tips for maintaining hygiene while using chastity devices
• Strategies for communicating about desires with partners
• Insights into the rising popularity of chastity within relationships
Links:
https://kink3d.com/ and https://bsky.app/profile/kink3d.com
Chastity in Cosmo - https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a63265805/chastity-fetish/
Join the 2 Week Chasity Challenge - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/offers/FTNWndiv/checkout
Join the Live Chats with Key Barrett MSc, and Venus - https://www.crowdcast.io/@venus-cuckoldress
Venus's MaisonDeNeige line - https://www.maisondeneige.com/couture/p/bodysuitevenus
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Here's what's coming up on the show.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We see ourselves as being about halfway between sex
toys and fashion accessories,and something that's so cool
about chastity is that itoperates in both those worlds.
It's definitely a sex toy, butit also is something that
accentuates and accessorizes thebody.
I would say the single numberone myth that we hear is that
(00:24):
wearing a cage is going to makeyour penis smaller.
So this is called shrinkage, ifyou, if you see it online.
People constantly ask about itand sometimes people are scared
of this and they're worriedabout that, and sometimes people
are actually really aroused bythat and they say, oh, is it
going to shrink If you have asmall penis?
Humiliation kind of fetish.
They're actually kind ofexcited by that, and the answer
to both the people who want itand the people who are terrified
(00:44):
of it is no, that is not goingto happen.
A lot of people who reallyaren't very familiar with
chastity and are trying it forthe first time think if I find a
cage that fits me right, it'sgoing to be inescapable, I'm not
going to be able to sneak mypenis out of it, I'm not gonna
be able to cheat, and the kindof dirty secret, if you will, of
(01:07):
chastity products is thatthat's just not true.
Yeah, we hear that all the time, exactly what you said, that
people will unlock and they'llcome, and they'll be so excited
to come and then, as soon asthey do, they will just
immediately regret it.
So it's a very addictive kinkwhere, for sure, some people are
just never going to be into it,it's not going to be their
thing.
But people who are into it getvery, very into it.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
This is the Venus Cuckoldris podcast a place to
learn all things cuckolding forthe curious, for the passionate
and for the sexually empoweredwoman who wants it all.
Let's go, welcome to the show.
(02:07):
I'm your host, venus.
Thanks for joining me.
Today I have KD from kink3dcomwho's going to talk all about
chastity cages, and this is sofascinating.
You're going to love thisepisode.
I learned so much.
It was crazy.
And the air date for today'sepisode is February 1st, which
is day one of the Locked in LoveChastity Challenge that I'm
doing again with Key Barrett,one of my favorite authors and
(02:27):
of my favorite books, Locked inLove.
So we're going to do thistwo-week chastity challenge.
It ends on Valentine's Day, sounlocking day is Valentine's Day
.
How sweet.
What a great gift you're goingto have for each other.
I have posted all of the rulesfor everybody involved in the
Chastity Challenge, includingthose who are locked, those who
(02:51):
are key holders, and rules foreveryone, and you can find those
rules in the Queens Quarterscommunity at venuscuckledresscom
.
It's free to join.
If you want to join thischallenge, you can get limited
free access to the QueensQuarters community by just
clicking on the link atvenuscuckledresscom.
You can also find it in thelink for today's show notes.
(03:12):
It is going to be tons of fun.
So if you've been sitting onthe fence about either key
holding or chastity or doingthis together, this is your
opportunity to try it out fortwo weeks.
I I mean, you don't have tostay locked the whole time,
obviously, but it is a reallymind-blowing experience.
If you've never tried it before, it is incredible what it does
for relationships.
(03:33):
So give it a try, it's fun.
And as for announcements,before we jump in, um just a
couple.
I am going to be doing somelive chats with Key Barrett.
We're going to do that onCrowdcast together, and this is
to talk about chastity.
These are two live chats thatwe're going to do during the
two-week Locked in Love ChastityChallenge.
(03:55):
So the first one is Monday,february the 3rd.
It's going to be at 6 pmPacific time, that's 9 pm
Eastern, live on Crowdcast.
The link is in the show notesfor today for you to join if you
would like to come and join usthere and ask questions about
chastity or share yourexperience on how it's going so
far in the Chastity Challenge.
And then the second one is alsoa Monday.
(04:17):
That's going to be February the10th, same time 6pm Pacific,
9pm Eastern.
So make sure you check that out.
And it is free.
All you have to do is justregister and then you'll get an
email right before the eventstarts where you can join.
The second announcement this isso awesome.
(04:38):
I've been waiting so long to beable to announce this to you
guys, to be able to announcethis to you for you guys.
I have my own line of Venusstuff at MaisonDenagecom.
So my favorite clothing line isMaisonDenagecom.
It's been around for years andthe woman who does this is
(05:00):
amazing.
I love her clothes.
I've talked about it before.
On the show she does lifestyleclothes for anybody interested
in interracial.
So lots of Queen of Spadesstuff, lots of Snow Bunny stuff.
She's got some cuck stuff, someyou know Jack of Spades stuff,
like literally she haseverything.
She's got different lines, likecouture and you know all this
(05:20):
stuff.
It is so well designed and wellmade.
All of the fabrics are just sosoft, so high end, like it's
just it's wonderful, anyway.
So I have a Venus line thereand I've modeled a few of the
items, so one being this foilbody suit, slash swimsuit.
(05:44):
So I actually wore this at anevent last year as a body suit.
It's like a swimsuit, but Iwore it as a body suit because
it's super low cut and I've gotthe new titties and, holy shit,
like it looked so fuckinggorgeous and the design, the
colors are beautiful.
So she, I told her I wantedsomething that was kind of like
(06:05):
a charm bracelet that's how Isee this lifestyle Not really
one symbol to symbolizecuckolding.
I'm like there's then the queencrown, because, of course, and
then the owl and some of youmight find this really
(06:32):
interesting, really new, butlike, we decided that the owl
should be the symbol of cucks,like, and I, because I think
that's so great, the owl isalways watching right and I know
that some people are like well,isn't it like the horns, like
the deer horns or whatever thatmeans cuckolding Like.
Yeah, I get that.
I've heard that it goes back tothe like, you know, eons ago,
(06:55):
medieval days, where the cuckhad to wear horns while he
walked down the street,humiliated by people because his
wife cheated on him, down thestreet, humiliated by people
because his wife cheated on him.
Yeah, I get that, but the owlis just so much cuter and of
course there's the great hornedowl.
I mean hello.
(07:15):
So I was like you just picturethe owl, like literally always
watching, like at night, justlike watching.
This is so perfect.
So we've got the owl, we've gotthe heart, we've got the crown,
and then, of course, all thespade stuff and everything.
So perfect.
So we've got the owl, we've gotthe heart, we've got the crown,
and then, of course, all thespade stuff and everything like
that.
So it's beautiful.
All the colors are like.
So my colors, I love them.
So I'll put the links in theshow notes, for today it's the
(07:37):
bodysuit slash swimsuit, whichis fucking beautiful super high
cut at the bottom and super lowcut on the chest.
And then there's this awesomelittle cropped hoodie.
That is just fucking gorgeousas well.
So there you go.
Maison Deneige, my favoritelifestyle brand, is coming
through.
Make sure you check it out.
Oh and last but not least, ohmy gosh, you guys, I can't say
(08:03):
much about this, because this isan announcement that's going to
be coming up, uh, soon,possibly on the next show.
Um, but I there is a hugeproject that I've had in the
works there for a while there,and it's almost ready to go, so
I'm excited to be able to bringthis to you.
That's all I could say is justlike please tune into the next
(08:24):
episode because like it's morethan likely going to be
announced on that one.
So, anyway, that's all I'msaying.
Okay, let's jump into today'sepisode right after this quick
announcement.
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It's Joy Mode Joining me on theshow.
(09:58):
This is the first time I've hadsomeone who produces chastity
cages or a chastity companyperson come on the show and his
name is KD.
He's from Kink 3D ChastityCompany and I'm so excited to
have you here today.
Thanks for joining me.
Say hello to all of thelisteners.
Hey, venus, it's so great to behere.
(10:19):
Okay, I'm like this is greattiming, but I'm very excited to
talk about this.
This is excellent timingbecause for a couple of reasons.
So this show is going to beaired on day one of the two-week
Chastity Challenge, that's, theLocked in Love Chastity
Challenge, with myself and KeyBarrett, author of the book
(10:40):
Locked in Love, one of myall-time favorite books.
So it is going to be right atthe beginning of the challenge.
Great timing.
I'm so happy to have you on theshow to talk about Chastity.
But also, wasn't there justrecently an article that came
out?
In which magazine was it?
Cosmo?
It was Okay.
(11:01):
And what did that say?
What did that article say?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Yeah, it was so exciting to see this.
It came out a few weeks ago,but they just posted it to their
Instagram yesterday and it's anarticle about how the site
Clips for Sale has just namedChastity as their fetish of the
year for 2025.
So they did this based on allof the data and analytics that
they capture about what's reallyblowing up in the world of porn
, and it turns out that chastityis on sort of an exponential
(11:27):
curve upward.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Who would have thought it's so funny and I
can't wait to get into, likeyour business and everything
like that.
But I've been talking aboutchastity for years, for years,
and I get a lot of.
There's two camps that guys arelike oh yeah, oh yeah, chastity
is so great, yeah, love it, Ican't wait to try it.
Blah, blah, blah.
And then there's the other guyswho have a knee-jerk reaction
(11:49):
like fuck, no, I could never,like that is so scary, there's
no fucking way.
So I can't wait to jump into itwith you.
So your company is called Kink3D, and tell me a little bit
about your company, how you gotstarted in all of this Sure.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
So I'll give a little bit of personal backstory here.
I've always been a pretty kinkydude and I'm one of those
people when you hang around BDSMcircles.
There's a kind of common originstory that you hear from a lot
of people, which is oh, I wasseven or eight and I was
watching cartoons and theprincess got captured and put in
the dungeon and something aboutthat just really kind of
tingled my brain and I knewsomething exciting about that
(12:29):
and I was one of those people.
So I've always been into a lotof stuff in that area of
sexuality.
And chastity was something thatI came across at some point on
the internet and thought, oh,that looks kind of interesting,
and bought a product or two andtried them and they really did
not work for me.
Just immediately they causedproblems, they were
uncomfortable, they seemedoutright dangerous, and I looked
(12:51):
around and couldn't findanything better and thought, man
, okay, I guess this kink justisn't for me.
I don't know how other peopleare doing it, but I'm going to
put that aside, and there'splenty other kinks in the sea,
so I'll just give up on this one.
And a couple of years afterthat I saw on Reddit someone
posted a photo of themselveswearing a locking cock ring, and
(13:12):
it was kind of two parts thatconnect together with this
little lock and it was sort oflike chastity light and I had
this idea okay, that seems kindof cool, Maybe I can do that,
maybe that'll work for me.
So there was a company in Polandthat hand welds these things.
They're like super.
So, yeah, you can tell how muchof a kinkster I am.
So I ordered one and a fewmonths later it arrived and it
(13:32):
just did not work the way that Iwanted it to, and I got so
frustrated by this experiencethat my one shot at something
chastity related still didn'twork out that I decided, okay,
I'm just going to do this myself.
So I started learning about 3Dmodeling.
So I learned the software to dowhat's called CAD modeling,
(13:53):
which is computer aided modeling, and also started learning
about 3D printing at the sametime and put those two things
together and started prototypingmy own products, originally
those kind of locking cock rings, and then, pretty quickly after
that, the community that I wastalking to really just wanted to
see cages, so started workingon those as well, and they
really took off.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
So you 3D print these cages.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
That's correct.
So they're 3D printed.
But if you look at them, if youhave any, if a lot of your
listeners may have somefamiliarity with 3D printing,
and typically if you look atthem, if you have any, if a lot
of your listeners may have somefamiliarity with 3D printing,
and typically if you look at a3D print, there'll be what's
called layer lines on them,which means that they're
basically kind of rough.
They have lots of little stepson them and that's what's
stereotypical with 3D printing.
Ours do not look like that atall.
(14:38):
So I've shown these products tofriends of mine who are
mechanical engineers and theirheads just explode when they see
them.
They do not understand thetechnology of how we make what
we do, because when you look atit and you feel it and you get
it in your hands, they don'thave any of that kind of layer
line stepping to the surface.
They just feel like anincredibly smooth product.
(14:59):
So that's the result of usingreally the cutting edge of
what's.
The jargon is additivemanufacturing, but basically it
means 3D printing.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Okay, I know nothing about that sort of thing.
Are all of the cages made fromthe same material?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
With slight variations.
Yes, they're all made fromwhat's called PA-12 nylon powder
.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
There's slightly different types of that that we
use for different colors anddifferent products, but
basically they're all the sameOkay okay and so so chastity
being so popular and I'm notreally surprised to hear that
it's so popular Cuckolding iscrazy popular too, and the two
kind of do kind of go hand inhand a little bit in some
(15:44):
circles, but I'm not surprised,like with it being so popular.
Have you noticed like more andmore demand for your cages?
Because, like I contacted youback in October, you were like
I'm so fucking busy right now,you back in October, and you
were like I'm so fucking busyright now with Locktober, so I'm
like all right, cool, so isthis big demand for it?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
We have definitely seen that.
We have seen huge growth overthe five years since I started
the business, and particularlythe past I would say one to two
years.
It feels like it's really hit akind of inflection point,
almost where it's hit a certainlevel of mainstreamness within
the kink world.
That's really taking off.
It's been very exciting to see.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Yeah, Key Barrett was talking about that before,
where he was saying how manychastity cages are sold on
Amazon?
Like it, that they have it inthere like their big warehouse,
like you can get it delivered infour hours because they have so
many of them, Cause they sellso many of them.
I'm just like damn, like holyshit.
(16:48):
So I spoke to a couple, somesome of the helpful cocktail
members that do support thepodcast.
I told my private Snapchatgroup that I was going to be
interviewing you and they wereso excited.
They're like oh my God, I havethe Cobra cage from that company
and I fucking love it, andthey've shown me pictures and
(17:09):
everything.
I'm like oh, it's a really nicecage.
So how many different types ofcages do you sell, and do you
only sell male chastity devices,or is there such thing as a
female chastity device?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
So I'll answer the second question first and then
go to the first one.
So the second question we doonly do male or technically
penis having, because weactually have quite a few trans
customers as well but primarilymale chastity devices.
That is the bread and butter ofour company.
We get a surprising number ofrequests, including from various
friends of mine, for femalechastity, what you would say
(17:45):
chastity belts as well, fullbelts that go around the waist.
We've had a number of requestsfor people who would love to see
an improvement to thoseproducts, a kind of latest and
greatest product in the marketfrom us for that, and it's just
a much more challengingengineering project.
There's a lot more material,there's a lot more complex
geometry that goes into that.
(18:05):
So so far we haven't done it,but we would love to in the
future if we can figure out agood way to do it.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Right, because it has to go around the waist.
It's got to be, I guess, muchmore substantial than just
something sticking on a wiener.
Exactly, it's got to be, Iguess, much more substantial
than just something sticking ona wiener.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Exactly.
There are a lot of morepracticality issues there.
Can you design something wherepeople can still do their thing
and go about their day and sleepcomfortably in it ideally, go
to the gym comfortably in itideally and so far we haven't
figured out any.
We haven't had the inspirationon how to do that in a way that
would satisfy our prettyrigorous standards for what we
(18:38):
want when we launch a newproduct.
But the requests have beenfrequent.
I think of this as it's almostlike Title IX for chastity.
It's women banging down ourdoors saying we want equal
opportunity to have our orgasmsdenied to you and I feel really
bad that we can't provide it.
But we just haven't figured itout yet.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
I'm just picturing that that would not be me, just
so you know.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I can imagine from having listened to your podcast.
And to answer your firstquestion about how many
different ones do we make, theanswer is when I started I
thought, oh, maybe we'll havethree sizes of cages, and then
each time that I landed on alineup that I was happy with, I
would keep getting emails orsocial media messages from
(19:22):
customers saying, hey, can youmake something halfway between
this and this, because itdoesn't fit me quite right.
So, fast forwarding to today,we actually have 40 cage sizes
and then 24 ring sizes, which isthe piece that goes behind the
whole package.
So when you multiply thattogether, there are actually 960
(19:43):
distinct size combinations thatyou can get from us to fit your
anatomy.
So that's one of the thingsthat we really pride ourselves
on is that we have all of thosein stock you can order and
generally it'll get shipped outin about two to three business
days, and that is just way morethan basically any other company
on the market.
So we try really hard to havesomething that's going to fit
almost everyone's anatomy reallycomfortably and really well.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I'm not surprised to hear that guys need to have
different size combinations orwhatever, because, like the
biggest complaint that I haveheard from guys, other than
they're scared or it isdifficult to sleep in, is that
finding the right fit is reallydifficult.
So how does it work?
Like when guys go online,they're like do you provide them
(20:27):
with instructions on how tomeasure them?
What if they buy it and itdoesn't fit?
Can they send it back?
Is that a dumb question?
I don't know.
It's not.
Like you can send backunderwear, so I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
It's not a dumb question at all.
I'll try to answer all of thosepoints that you raised.
So, first of all, sizing isindeed one of the biggest
challenges with chastity and itcan be really frustrating if you
get something and it justdoesn't work quite right for you
, particularly because, as yousaid, in most cases it's a
product that you're not going tobe able to return because of
the intimate nature of theproducts.
We do a number of things to doour best to help with that.
(21:01):
We have a lot of guidance onour website.
We have an awesome customerservice team who are very well
trained.
Where you can email us, you canactually send in photos.
So we're a very unusual officewhere a lot of people's
professional job in our officeslook very carefully, analyzing
photos of people's dicks thatthey send in and then trying to
give the best advice that we can, and sometimes we'll have 10 or
(21:22):
20 emails in an email chainwhere we really try to dial in
what we think is going to workwell for someone.
So we do our best on that.
We also partner with stores andevents where you can, in fact,
have a whole sizing experienceto try on the product in person.
So we partner with about 10stores around the world now and
we're working very hard tosignificantly increase that
number.
(21:42):
So in major cities like SanFrancisco, New York, London,
Amsterdam, we have stores thatyou can just go into and try on
our range of products, and youcan find all those on our
website.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I did not know that you could go in a store and try
on a chastity cage.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I did not know that they get carefully cleaned
afterwards.
And, yeah, I believe that weare the first brand that has
offered that experience andwe're working very hard to
expand it.
We also go to a lot ofkink-related events.
So I don't know if you've heardof the Folsom Street Fair,
which is a huge kink event thathappens each year in San
Francisco, and there's a numberof other events like that around
the country and indeed aroundthe world, and we're going to
(22:20):
more and more of those, and thenour team will give expert,
fitting advice and let peopletry them on while they're there.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Oh, that's great.
I think people would reallyenjoy and benefit from something
like that, where they canactually be there, see the
product and be able to talk topeople and get advice about
fitting, because, yeah, it seemsto be a big struggle for the
guys thinking about chastity.
I've heard all sorts of things.
I just posted something on myBlue Sky I think it was
(22:46):
yesterday or the day beforeyesterday.
What's the most difficult thingabout chastity?
It was actually a great thread,but there were a lot of
comments on there about gettingthe right fit stuff, pinching or
shaping, or difficult to sleepin or difficult to go to the gym
and stuff like that.
For me, I'm like I don't give afuck about any of that stuff,
(23:10):
obviously because, like I'm akey holder.
So for me, the most importantpart of the chastity cage is
what it looks like.
I want the Ferrari of fuckingchastity cages and I want it to
look beautiful.
And so how do you balance thatbetween the designs that you
create, being functional and notpinching and not chafing and
(23:30):
all that stuff, but also beingvery nice to look at where
people are like, oh damn, thatone looks really good.
I want to buy that one.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Yeah, I think you really hit the nail on the head
where what we are trying toaccomplish as a company is to
not compromise on either form orfunction, and in fact, we see
ourselves as being about halfwaybetween sex toys and fashion
accessories, and somethingthat's so cool about Chastity is
that it operates in both thoseworlds.
It's definitely a sex toy, butit also is something that
accentuates and accessorizes thebody, and we know how important
(24:04):
that is to people and you wantit to look good, and I think
honestly that's part of thereason that it has taken off is
that it encourages people to beexhibitionists online because
they want to show off howawesome they look and especially
, it's a form of exhibitionismwhere you can do it without
showing your face, so that alsomakes it a little bit lower
stakes for people to do online.
(24:24):
But we do work hard, and so I'mactually I'm still our cage
designer and I work really hardto do designs that are going to
make people, whether they're bigor small, whether they have a
huge dick or a really small dick, that they're still going to
feel great about their body andthey're still going to look at
themselves in the cage and likethe way they look and I'm really
proud that our cages have beendescribed as like a tuxedo for
(24:45):
the cock or like Seville Row, ifyou're familiar with that
British fashion like the SevilleRow of chastity cages.
People do say those things andI feel really happy about that.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, that's got to feel good.
That's the kind of feedbackthat you definitely would want
if you're designing chastitycages.
What about the keys?
Do you pay attention to the waythat the keys look?
Because, as a key holder, Ihave found some of the keys are
ugly as fuck.
I'm like this looks likesomething someone dropped in
(25:15):
Home Depot.
I don't know.
I want to wear this on a chainon my neck.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
So that is a great question, and what I can tell
you is that we are working onthat.
Our keys are not as bad as someof the ones out there.
There is a particularlyembarrassing trend for the
really cheap Chinese knockoffsof cages to come with keys that
say BDSM stamped on them, so weavoid that particular pitfall.
However, our current keys arenot all that nice to look at.
(25:42):
They're pretty industrial, butwe're actually working on a much
more attractive key option.
So stay tuned a few months fromnow and I may have a better
answer for you on that question.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, because I was just like Ilove key holding and everything
like that, but I kind of wantthe key to look, the mat to
match the Ferrari, you know likewe totally agree with you, and
that's something we're activelyworking on Um, what are some
common myths andmisunderstandings about chastity
other than you know?
(26:10):
just like I said earlier, thefact that I get a lot of guys
who say I could never do that,and I I'm like actually you
could and you would enjoy itshockingly.
What are some common myths andmisunderstandings about chastity
that you've learned over theyears?
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah.
So I think we totally shouldget into later why people like
chastity so much and why they'dwant to do it like you just
brought up.
But to get into the question ofmyths and common mistakes that
people make yes, there are quitea few.
So I would say the singlenumber one myth that we hear is
that wearing a cage is going tomake your penis smaller.
So this is called shrinkage.
(26:47):
If you see it online, peopleconstantly ask about it and
sometimes people are scared ofthis and they're worried about
that.
And sometimes people areactually really aroused by that
and they say, ooh, is it goingto shrink if you have a small
penis?
Humiliation kind of fetish?
They're actually kind ofexcited by that and the answer
to both the people who want itand the people who are terrified
of it is no, that is not goingto happen.
There is no reason to believe,in all the research that we've
(27:09):
done and all the medicalprofessionals that we've talked
to, that wearing a cage is goingto have any sort of permanent
change to the anatomy of thepenis.
That's just not going to happen.
So that's the first one.
The next myth I would raise is alot of people who really aren't
very familiar with chastity andare trying it for the first
time, think if I find a cagethat fits me right, it's going
to be inescapable.
(27:29):
I'm not going to be able tosneak my penis out of it, I'm
not going to cheat, and the kindof dirty secret, if you will,
of chastity products is thatthat's just not true.
Chastity cages are notinescapable.
They are not Fort Knox, unlessyou're using a piercing to
actually physically lock yourpenis onto the bars of the cage,
(27:49):
which a number of our customersdo.
In fact, some of our customersget a penis piercing
specifically to use for chastitybecause they're so turned on by
the idea that they can lockthemselves in and they won't be
able to get themselves out, evenif they want to.
But for the average personwho's not doing it, with a
piercing you're going to be ableto get out if you try hard
enough, and so I always wantpeople to know that going in,
(28:11):
because I don't want people tohave the wrong expectations and
then be disappointed.
There's always going to be amental component to chastity, as
a kink, as well as the purelyphysical component, and you have
to want to go along with it,whether it's just by yourself,
or if you're doing it with a keyholder, with a partner, you
have to be mentally committed tothe process.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, oh, I've definitely heard stories of
people who've lost the key, soit's interesting to hear you say
that you could get out if youreally wanted to.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Yes and no.
You can generally get out inthe sense that you can slip your
penis out the back of the cage.
So in that sense you can cheatbecause you can access your
penis, you can touch yourself,you can get pleasure, and that's
something that of course peoplethe dream is to not be able to
do.
That.
That's the whole turn on.
But for certain people'sanatomies and certain sizes of
cages you might genuinely not beable to slip the whole device
(29:06):
off of your package.
In other words, you might notbe able to get your balls out
through the gap between the twopieces of the device.
So in that sense, if you losethe key, it is stuck on your
body.
You're not going to be able toget it off without breaking it
or using some kind of tool tosnap it or something.
It is going to be stuck on yourbody but it might be kind of
dangling in a fairly undignifiedway because you could get your
(29:27):
penis out the back, but thenit's kind of dangling off your
balls between your legs.
So you don't want to end up inthat situation.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
That would be embarrassing um, okay, yes,
let's get into why people wantto do chastity in the first
place.
Um, I definitely feel likethere's more of a draw, like for
men this is, I don't know whatit is.
It's definitely more enticingfor a lot of guys.
Um, key for, but for keyholding.
(29:56):
For women I don't find it hasthe same kind of draw, although
for some of my friends and I Imean I know what that feels like
to hold the keys it is prettyfucking phenomenal.
But the fascinating thing overthe years is that a lot of guys
have said that they werehesitant or scared at first
(30:18):
about chastity, but then theyfound like they actually didn't
want to be unlocked and likethat they want to stay like
locked up and that like, if theyare unlocked and they're
allowed to come, that likethey're like oh that sucked,
like I just want to be locked upagain.
This is so crazy for a lot ofguys to hear because they're
like what?
This makes no sense.
(30:39):
What is the draw?
Why do guys love it so much?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, we hear that all the time.
Exactly what you said, thatpeople will unlock and they'll
come, and they'll be so excitedto come and then, as soon as
they do, they will justimmediately regret it.
So it's a very addictive kinkwhere, for sure, some people are
just never going to be into it,it's not going to be their
thing.
But people who are into it getvery, very into it.
So there's a few reasons, Ithink, why it is such an
(31:03):
appealing kink and particularlywhy it overlaps and goes so well
with cuckolding, which is, ofcourse, of interest to you.
So the way that I oftendescribe this is that you can
kind of view sex toys or dividesex toys into two different
types of categories.
There's the more traditionalsex toys go into the category of
pleasure, right?
(31:24):
So dildos or vibrators, they'rethere to give you pleasure and
ultimately, hopefully, make youcome, whereas a second category
of sex toys is not about thedestination, but it's more about
the journey.
It's about arousal, it's aboutbuilding your sexual energy to a
higher level, and that's reallywhere chastity cages fall into
(31:45):
place.
So if you wear a cage for evena day or a few days, you're
going to build that horniness toa higher and higher level.
We had a customer who referredto our products as a perpetual
horny machine and I really lovedthat and that's really fun.
Some people just really lovethat state of being in a
heightened, buzzing state ofsexual energy and that to them
(32:06):
is much more important thangetting off and coming,
particularly for a man, becauseas a man, if you come, there is
that hormonal chemical responsewhere you really crash.
You crash in terms of yoursexual energy, you can crash in
terms of your mood.
So if you retain that and youbuild it and you keep getting
hornier and hornier over aperiod of days or weeks or, in
(32:27):
some of our customers' cases,months or longer, it gets you to
this higher and higher level ofsexual energy.
So that's the first reason.
I think another reason is thehornier you get in a lot of
cases, the more it puts you in amindset where you want to and
you feel, where you feel readyto pursue fantasies that you
(32:51):
have.
So there may be fantasies thatpeople have that are a little
bit embarrassing or a little bitscary, that you have.
So there may be fantasies thatpeople have that are a little
bit embarrassing or a little bitscary.
And if you are at work andthinking about that fantasy or
just in your normal life andthinking about that fantasy, you
might not be ready to do it,but if you're super, super,
super horny and turned on,you're going to say, yeah, you
know what, I'm going to givethat a go.
So in the cuckolding world, anexample that comes to mind for
(33:11):
me might be something around acream pie cleanup, where I think
a lot of guys, a lot of cucks,have that fantasy, but then the
moment comes and they'resquicked out and they're like,
oh man, I don't know if I can dothis, even though they've been
fantasizing it for years.
So if you're wearing a chassiscage and you've built up that
horniness to this totally insanelevel, you're going to be more
ready to do that.
(33:31):
So it's something that canactually help you to explore
other fantasies that you maybehave wanted to do for a long
time.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Oh my God, I love that example.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
And I think no, I'm glad I figured that that might
resonate with you, yeah, and soanother reason, I think, is
around those.
So those first reasons I gavewere really around sex.
Right, they were around sex andarousal and horniness.
But I think there's also animportant reason around the
symbolism of wearing a cage,particularly if you're doing it
(34:03):
with a partner.
So if you're wearing this, it'salmost like I refer to it as
the sort of classic BDSM collarthat you'll see in 50 Shades of
Grey or that type of thing, butfor the male package instead.
So you're wearing somethingthat symbolizes submission, that
symbolizes service to thepartner that you're in a dynamic
with and that can really createthis feeling of intimacy and
(34:25):
closeness and connection to yourpartner.
And I think that's reallyimportant and a big part of this
too, that cages can actuallyreally create this higher
emotional level where you feeldeeply connected to your partner
and in a way that enhances thefeeling of service and
submission.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I love the symbolism of it so much.
I hate it when guys send medick pics, obviously, but send
me a chastity pic, I'm not goingto hate it as much.
And if it's a beautifulchastity pic then I'm like damn,
that is a work of art rightthere.
You know, it's funny.
The very first time I gotintroduced to chastity was by
(35:04):
accident.
It was so bad I was.
I was talking to somebody andthey mentioned something about
prostate milking and I was likeI don't know what that is, so
I'm going to look it up inPornhub.
And so I did, and I startedwatching this video and the guy
walked into the room and he wasnaked and all he had on was a
(35:26):
chastity cage.
I'd never seen one in my life.
Okay, I didn't know what it was, I had never heard of one.
I looked at it.
I was like what the fuck isthat?
And then he laid down and shewas like unlocking it and taking
it off and I was like what inthe actual fuck is that?
(35:47):
Is that like some sort offashion accessory, Like I don't
know what that is?
But it was after that that I metmy friend Jay, who he had a
long history with chastity lovedit.
His girlfriend locked him upfor like a year and like he
loved it, and so he taught meabout.
You know what it was like towear a cage and be in that kind
(36:10):
of relationship.
And then I was like, oh no, Iunderstand this, but I did not
know anything about it beforethat.
How do men especially bringthis up to their girlfriend or
wife or someone they want to betheir key holder and do it in a
way in which they will hopefullynot be weirded out and kind of
(36:33):
understand about why they wouldwant to hold the key or why they
want even to lock up in thefirst place?
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Conveniently.
One thing that you could do ispoint them to the Cosmo article
that we talked about at thebeginning and say hey, it can't
be that strange because it'stalked about in Cosmo, so that
actually might.
I mean, in all seriousness,that could be a good way to do
it, because I think that whensomething is validated by the
mainstream media, you knowrightly or wrongly, or good or
bad, I do actually think thatthat helps a lot because it
(37:01):
feels like, okay, it's not thatbizarre, it's out there.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
It's in.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Cosmo.
It's in Cosmo.
It can't be that it's the newbutt plug, it's the new vibrator
, it's the next normal kink.
So I think that that can be onething to do.
I think the classic advicethat's given around this is to
not make it all about you as theman, to rather frame it in the
context of hey, this thing turnsme on, but also here's what you
(37:27):
as the woman are going to getout of it.
So it's not just something whereI'm asking for my partner to be
a kink dispenser for me.
It's not just something whereI'm asking for my partner to be
a kink dispenser for me and tosuddenly take on this almost
burden or this responsibility ofI need to be holding the key.
I need to.
What do I do with that?
What does that mean?
How do I keep you excited whileI'm holding the key?
(37:48):
But rather focus on here's whyit turns me on.
It's going to put me into thiselevated state of sexual energy
as I'm going about my day.
If I'm at work or I'm on abusiness trip or I hell.
I'm just in the other room andI'm wearing the cage and I know
that you've got the key.
I'm going to be thinking aboutyou because I've got this device
on my body.
(38:09):
That is signifying theconnection that I've got with
you in a relationship.
So it's going to improve mood,it's going to improve sexual
energy and it doesn't mean thatwe have to do it any one
particular way.
Now I think some people think ifI get into chastity it means
(38:31):
you're never going to get tohave sex with me again, and
that's not true at all.
You can.
I think we've talked to a lotof customers who really like
this dynamic of I'm going tocage the beast, I'm going to
give you the key and you'regoing to get to control when I
take the cage off and when I putit on.
But when you want it off, whenyou get access to my penis, when
you want to get fucked, weabsolutely can do that.
(38:52):
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
It's just that you're going to be the one that gets
to choose.
Yeah, just like a vibrator isnot going to replace your
husband's dick, it's just a funlittle way to spruce up the
bedroom.
Fun, that's basically it.
I love the advice that you gave.
Also, there's the book Lockedin Love by Key Barrett, where
him and his wife they did twoweeks of chastity and she
contributed to that book as welland wrote about what it was
(39:21):
like from her perspective as akey holder.
I think that's a great resourcefor any women who would like to
learn about it or husbands whowould just be like, hey, you
might really like this.
So go read about it in Cosmoand read about it in the Locked
in Love book and I swear we'regoing to have a lot of fun baby.
And maybe if guys approach itthat way, it won't be so
(39:44):
shocking and so weird and likewhat the fuck?
Because, yeah, if you're goingfrom straight vanilla land to
chastity, that's a bit of a gap.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Absolutely, and it doesn't in any way have to be a
24-7 thing you can start with oryou don't even have to progress
beyond this just a very casualplaying with it within a scene,
within a sexual encounter.
Maybe you wear the cage for 20minutes while you're eating your
girlfriend's pussy or eatingyour wife's pussy.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
You don't have to go beyond that.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
It can just be something fun and casual that
you introduce into sexualdynamics.
You don't have to make it anall or nothing, super big
serious.
Thing.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Yeah, and I'm glad you brought that up, because
there is this kind of thoughtprocess online, especially where
it kind of for a lot of guys itsignifies like the death of
their penis, like forever, likethey're never going to have sex
again, and that's like withcuckolding too.
A lot of guys just assume thatit's all about sexual denial and
that cucks would never have PIVsex again.
(40:45):
I'm like this is so dumb.
I don't know where we get thisfrom, but like this is not the
case.
This is very much something funto just amp up your sex life in
the bedroom.
Cuckolding or chastity or boththis is just an extra little bit
of spice in your sex life andyou're right, you can do it
however you want.
So this because this episode iscoming out day one of the
(41:08):
chastity challenge.
I'm assuming that a lot of guyswill already have a cage or
have chosen one or whatever, orthinking about it.
But for those who don't have acage or are looking to buy a new
cage, what kind of tips oradvice would you give them?
To?
(41:28):
Number one, pick out the rightcage that's for them and then
isn't measuring like a very like.
This is a process that you haveto do very carefully and, like
I'm pretty sure you have sometips about that.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
I definitely do.
We have a lot of information onour website, so that's an easy
starting point that I recommend.
If you happen to be luckyenough to be in a city that has
one of the stores that wepartner with, go into a store
and you can try them on inperson.
That is ultimately going to bethe best way to do this, rather
than guessing online.
We'll do our best to help youthrough customer service, but it
is always hard.
(42:03):
As far as common mistakes thatpeople make, though, or giving
some tips, I think there's twoimportant ones that are in sort
of equal and opposite directions.
One is some people think that Ishould get a cage that has a
lot of extra room in it, becausewhen I get hard, then they'll
have room to grow and that'llmake me more comfortable.
We find, generally, that is nota good idea.
(42:23):
If you have extra room in thecage, it's going to be a lot
harder to just wear itthroughout the day hiding it
under your pants.
It's going to be bulky.
It's going to be messy when youuse the bathroom.
Most people are not happy whenthey've got extra room.
They want to fill the cage allthe way when flaccid.
The opposite is.
A lot of people have a fantasyparticularly if they're into
more small penis humiliation oremasculation that they want a
(42:46):
cage that's going to be reallysmall.
They want to cram themselvesinto a tiny cage.
We also do not think that's agood idea.
It's just going to look sillyand hang off your body and most
of your penis won't end up beingin the cage.
So we really do recommend getone that is a reasonable and
good fit for your flaccid size.
That's the first piece ofadvice that I would give.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up.
I can't stand seeing chastitypictures.
The guy's like he's locked upin a cage.
I can't stand it when there'sall this extra room in there.
I'm like what are you doing?
And like that is not to me notattractive to see all that extra
space in there.
Always tell them that like youknow you need to go down a size
or two.
Like there shouldn't be all ofthat airiness in there.
(43:37):
Like well, ok, we'll talk aboutair airy, but like cleaning and
stuff like that, but thereshouldn't be that much room in
there, it just should be snug.
But then I've seen the otherone they're talking about, where
they try to get the smallestcage possible and it ends up
just flattening this mushy flat.
It looks like you're getting amammogram for your wiener.
Like it's just like so flat.
You're like that doesn't lookright at all.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
So we have a very Goldilocks philosophy on this
Not too big, not too small, getone.
That's really the right sizefor your penis.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Yeah, it needs to look snug and like comfortable
and just the right size, likethe right fit, okay.
And so cleaning how do you carefor a chastity cage?
It's like if somebody is like,okay, I need to do this, I feel
like hygiene and cleaning needsto be really important, but how
do you do that if you're lockedfor any period of time?
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Super important.
So this is one of the thingsthat was top of mind for me when
I first started designing theproducts about five years ago.
A lot of the plastic cages atthat time were basically plastic
tubes that didn't have any kindof ventilation whatsoever.
They were impossible to keepclean and very quickly they
would start to smell bad.
It was just gross.
It was not a good situation.
(44:50):
So when I started designingcages, I intentionally had that
idea of having a lot of openareas between the bars so that
it would be ventilated and sothat it would be easy to keep
clean.
So with the cages that we offer, basically you can wear it
without really taking it off andyou can just shower.
And as long as you're somewhatconscientious about lathering up
(45:10):
a lot of soap and getting it inthere between the bars and
washing it, you can keep itpretty clean and we have really
not heard almost any complaintsabout people staying locked that
way.
I do think if you are runninginto issues or just as best
practice, taking it off everyonce in a while, let's say once
a week at least, to just give abit of a deeper cleaning to both
the cage and to yourself, is agood idea.
(45:32):
I certainly think that makessense and is a smart thing to do
but I don't know that youtechnically have to do it.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Yeah, I've seen cages that are kind of just like all
closed off except for a fewholes at the end, and I'm like,
oh God, that's a skin infectionwaiting to happen.
I just feel like there's justyou can't keep that clean and
dry in there for sure.
So that's good to know.
The more open areas in betweenthe bars and stuff like that,
the easier it is to keep clean,just by showering and you and
washing properly and stuff likethat.
(46:02):
That's really really good.
One of the big complaints thatI hear from guys constantly
actually, especially whenthey're first trying chastity
and they have their first nightwhere they sleep with this thing
on, they're like, oh my God,that was the worst sleep I've
ever had.
I was constantly getting wokenup with a boner and it was
(46:23):
uncomfortable because I was inthis cage or it was just
terrible.
First of all, my reaction isusually just like, oh, suck it
up, honey, but you can figure itout.
But but anyway, what are somesome tips for these guys who
really struggle with sleepingwith this cage?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
That's a great question.
Sleeping is probably thehardest time to to be wearing a
cage and this is this is reallynotorious within the world of
chastity because of nighttimeerections, because nighttime
erections are involuntary andyou can't because you're asleep,
you don't have the ability tosort of adjust yourself a little
bit when it's happening.
And so in the old days when Iwas first getting started with
(47:02):
this a lot of the cages on themarket you'd wear it and then at
four in the morning or five inthe morning you'd wake up with
this just horrible sense kind ofburning sensation under the
scrotum and you're you, oh God,I have to get it off right away.
I can't handle this anymore,and that was a significant
influence to me, and how Iwanted to design cages was to
(47:23):
prevent that from happening, toreally remove any kind of sharp
edges and anything that wouldcreate that kind of sensation.
As far as advice to give people, first it's choose a cage that
is as comfortable as possible,that is very rounded, is very
smooth, doesn't have any pinchpoints or anything that's going
to hurt at night.
The second piece of advice isuse some kind of lubricant or
(47:44):
lotion, particularly under theballs.
Basically that is the areawhere you get this burning most
intensely, and using somethinglike that is going to help to
reduce friction and it's goingto make it more comfortable.
And using something like thatis going to help to reduce
friction and is going to make itmore comfortable.
The other thing, though, that Ithink is very important to say
is some people are just alwaysgoing to have trouble sleeping
at night in a chastity cage.
They could have the mostcomfortable, most perfectly
(48:06):
fitting, excellent cage, andthey just still are going to
struggle with it, and in thosesituations, we think it's
totally fine to take the cageoff before you go to bed and put
it back again.
Fine to take the cage offbefore you go to bed and put it
back again first thing in themorning.
Think of it like we always liketo say that.
We think of it like glasses orlike contacts.
You go to bed.
It's the last thing you takeoff before you go to sleep.
It's the first thing you put onin the morning when you wake up
, and it can almost beritualized in that sort of way,
(48:29):
and it's fine.
It doesn't make you lessdevoted to chastity or a less
hardcore participant in thiskink.
It's just allowing you to liveyour life and do your thing and
not be grouchy and miserable allday because you haven't slept
well, it's totally fine.
So I really encourage people todo that if they're struggling
to sleep at night.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
That's true.
That's true.
I guess it's not the end of theworld if he's got to take it
off Now, before we wrap this up,because we're almost out of
time, are?
Speaker 2 (49:00):
there any last things that you would like to say
about chastity?
Well, in preparation fortalking to you, I was actually
looking on.
There's a whole subredditcalled Cuckold Psychology You're
probably familiar and so I wenton there and I did some
searching for the keyword ofchastity to see what people
talked about within the world ofcuckold psychology, and I found
a quote on there that I thoughtreally captured it, honestly,
better and more eloquently thanI could.
(49:20):
So, if it's okay with you, Ithought maybe I would just read
it and your audience might likeit.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
So this was just.
It was from a few weeks ago,from a user on Reddit called
Chetum K, and here's what hesays.
He says people that have neverbeen in chastity have no idea
how it feels.
You assume it's restrictive anduncomfortable.
The reality is, as long as it'ssized properly, chastity is very
comfortable and it will causeyou to experience arousal like
you have never experienced itbefore.
You will leak pre-cum profuselyall day long.
(49:49):
It feels so good to experiencethat much arousal that you don't
want to orgasm because the 30second orgasm and that's all
gone, and it's not aspleasurable as not coming and
staying on the ride.
This is the obvious reason thatmen, whether cucks or not, want
to stay locked rather than havesex or masturbate.
Add to that the fact thatyou're a cuck and your wife or
(50:10):
girlfriend is doing the thingthat turns you on the most.
That's why Cuck's Cage becauseit's the best sex toy ever
invented for men, because itfeels better than coming.
If you haven't tried chastityand denial, you should,
especially if you're a cuck orif you're a reluctant cuck that
can't get out of his own headlong enough to try it.
The cage will drown out all theinsecurities and will replace
(50:32):
them with arousal.
I thought that was the mostawesome quote that really
encapsulated this.
And the kicker of this that Ithought was really fun was after
I found that I was like, oh,who is this person?
So I looked at his Redditprofile history, his post
history, and I saw that heactually is a customer of ours.
So he actually posted earlierwith some photos of one of our
(50:52):
cages, which I had no idea whenI originally found the quote, so
I hope that that helps toencapsulate it and maybe give
some encouragement and someinspiration to some of your
audience.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
That is beautiful and I love that that's so inspiring
for men, because it talks aboutthis being kind of an evolution
of male sexuality to somethingthat maybe a lot of guys don't
even know is possible, which isfascinating to me.
This is so much more than justlike a piece of equipment or a
(51:21):
symbolism of something.
This is truly about somethingso much more than that.
So this conversation has beenabsolutely fascinating.
Katie, I'm so happy that youhave come on the show today to
talk about this.
I'm so happy to have somebodyactually explaining all of this
stuff about chastity.
So thank you so much.
Where can everybody learn moreabout your products, buy your
(51:43):
products and that sort of thing?
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Venus, this has been such a blast, so thank you for
having me on.
People can find us first atkink3dcom, so just kink, then
the number three, then theletter dcom.
Make sure you go to the websiteand don't just Google, because
we actually have found there areknockoff companies that try to
steal our traffic.
So Chassis has become sopopular that there's a whole
world of knockoff cages outthere.
So go to the website.
(52:06):
You can also find us on socialmedia kink3ddesigns.
On Twitter X, we have an entiresubreddit that's for our brand.
So just our kink3d, the kink3dsubreddit.
And then we're on Blue Sky nowas well.
Kink3dcom, yeah, yeah, I thinkwe follow you on there already.
Yay, any of those places andyou can find us.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
Okay, that is amazing .
Okay, thank you so much for allof this today.
This has just been mind-blowing.
I love learning about this.
The more I learn about chastity, the more I learn about
cuckolding, the more I learnabout all of this.
It's just like blows my mind.
So I think people are going toget a lot out of this show today
.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
You're very welcome.
Thanks so much for having me on.
It's been a real pleasure.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
That's going to be it for today's episode.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Make sure you go tovenuscuckoldresscom.
That's where you can book aprivate chat with me, and you
can also join the queen'squarters community and get all
the amazing benefits, like theprivate podcast and the helpful
cuck tier, where you can get keyholding for the private
Snapchat group, monthly privatechats with me and weekly live
hangouts and invites to speciallive events.
Oh, and you can also submit aquestion or confession for the
(53:25):
show.
Just go to venuscuckledresscomand click on the link that says
the podcast.
Make sure you follow me on bluesky social.
Yes, I said blue sky social.
Fuck Twitter.
My handle there is atCuckoldressV.
All right, that's it fortoday's show, you guys.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
Here's what's coming up on the show.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We see ourselves as being about halfway between sex
toys and fashion accessories,and something that's so cool
about chastity is that itoperates in both those worlds.
It's definitely a sex toy, butit also is something that
accentuates and accessorizes thebody.
I would say the single numberone myth that we hear is that
(00:24):
wearing a cage is going to makeyour penis smaller.
So this is called shrinkage, ifyou, if you see it online.
People constantly ask about itand sometimes people are scared
of this and they're worriedabout that, and sometimes people
are actually really aroused bythat and they say, oh, is it
going to shrink If you have asmall penis?
Humiliation kind of fetish.
They're actually kind ofexcited by that, and the answer
to both the people who want itand the people who are terrified
(00:44):
of it is no, that is not goingto happen.
A lot of people who reallyaren't very familiar with
chastity and are trying it forthe first time think if I find a
cage that fits me right, it'sgoing to be inescapable, I'm not
going to be able to sneak mypenis out of it, I'm not gonna
be able to cheat, and the kindof dirty secret, if you will, of
(01:07):
chastity products is thatthat's just not true.
Yeah, we hear that all the time, exactly what you said, that
people will unlock and they'llcome, and they'll be so excited
to come and then, as soon asthey do, they will just
immediately regret it.
So it's a very addictive kinkwhere, for sure, some people are
just never going to be into it,it's not going to be their
thing.
But people who are into it getvery, very into it.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
This is the Venus Cuckoldris podcast a place to
learn all things cuckolding forthe curious, for the passionate
and for the sexually empoweredwoman who wants it all.
Let's go, welcome to the show.
(02:07):
I'm your host, venus.
Thanks for joining me.
Today I have KD from kink3dcomwho's going to talk all about
chastity cages, and this is sofascinating.
You're going to love thisepisode.
I learned so much.
It was crazy.
And the air date for today'sepisode is February 1st, which
is day one of the Locked in LoveChastity Challenge that I'm
doing again with Key Barrett,one of my favorite authors and
(02:27):
of my favorite books, Locked inLove.
So we're going to do thistwo-week chastity challenge.
It ends on Valentine's Day, sounlocking day is Valentine's Day
.
How sweet.
What a great gift you're goingto have for each other.
I have posted all of the rulesfor everybody involved in the
Chastity Challenge, includingthose who are locked, those who
(02:51):
are key holders, and rules foreveryone, and you can find those
rules in the Queens Quarterscommunity at venuscuckledresscom
.
It's free to join.
If you want to join thischallenge, you can get limited
free access to the QueensQuarters community by just
clicking on the link atvenuscuckledresscom.
You can also find it in thelink for today's show notes.
(03:12):
It is going to be tons of fun.
So if you've been sitting onthe fence about either key
holding or chastity or doingthis together, this is your
opportunity to try it out fortwo weeks.
I I mean, you don't have tostay locked the whole time,
obviously, but it is a reallymind-blowing experience.
If you've never tried it before, it is incredible what it does
for relationships.
(03:33):
So give it a try, it's fun.
And as for announcements,before we jump in, um just a
couple.
I am going to be doing somelive chats with Key Barrett.
We're going to do that onCrowdcast together, and this is
to talk about chastity.
These are two live chats thatwe're going to do during the
two-week Locked in Love ChastityChallenge.
(03:55):
So the first one is Monday,february the 3rd.
It's going to be at 6 pmPacific time, that's 9 pm
Eastern, live on Crowdcast.
The link is in the show notesfor today for you to join if you
would like to come and join usthere and ask questions about
chastity or share yourexperience on how it's going so
far in the Chastity Challenge.
And then the second one is alsoa Monday.
(04:17):
That's going to be February the10th, same time 6pm Pacific,
9pm Eastern.
So make sure you check that out.
And it is free.
All you have to do is justregister and then you'll get an
email right before the eventstarts where you can join.
The second announcement this isso awesome.
(04:38):
I've been waiting so long to beable to announce this to you
guys, to be able to announcethis to you for you guys.
I have my own line of Venusstuff at MaisonDenagecom.
So my favorite clothing line isMaisonDenagecom.
It's been around for years andthe woman who does this is
(05:00):
amazing.
I love her clothes.
I've talked about it before.
On the show she does lifestyleclothes for anybody interested
in interracial.
So lots of Queen of Spadesstuff, lots of Snow Bunny stuff.
She's got some cuck stuff, someyou know Jack of Spades stuff,
like literally she haseverything.
She's got different lines, likecouture and you know all this
(05:20):
stuff.
It is so well designed and wellmade.
All of the fabrics are just sosoft, so high end, like it's
just it's wonderful, anyway.
So I have a Venus line thereand I've modeled a few of the
items, so one being this foilbody suit, slash swimsuit.
(05:44):
So I actually wore this at anevent last year as a body suit.
It's like a swimsuit, but Iwore it as a body suit because
it's super low cut and I've gotthe new titties and, holy shit,
like it looked so fuckinggorgeous and the design, the
colors are beautiful.
So she, I told her I wantedsomething that was kind of like
(06:05):
a charm bracelet that's how Isee this lifestyle Not really
one symbol to symbolizecuckolding.
I'm like there's then the queencrown, because, of course, and
then the owl and some of youmight find this really
(06:32):
interesting, really new, butlike, we decided that the owl
should be the symbol of cucks,like, and I, because I think
that's so great, the owl isalways watching right and I know
that some people are like well,isn't it like the horns, like
the deer horns or whatever thatmeans cuckolding Like.
Yeah, I get that.
I've heard that it goes back tothe like, you know, eons ago,
(06:55):
medieval days, where the cuckhad to wear horns while he
walked down the street,humiliated by people because his
wife cheated on him, down thestreet, humiliated by people
because his wife cheated on him.
Yeah, I get that, but the owlis just so much cuter and of
course there's the great hornedowl.
I mean hello.
(07:15):
So I was like you just picturethe owl, like literally always
watching, like at night, justlike watching.
This is so perfect.
So we've got the owl, we've gotthe heart, we've got the crown,
and then, of course, all thespade stuff and everything.
So perfect.
So we've got the owl, we've gotthe heart, we've got the crown,
and then, of course, all thespade stuff and everything like
that.
So it's beautiful.
All the colors are like.
So my colors, I love them.
So I'll put the links in theshow notes, for today it's the
(07:37):
bodysuit slash swimsuit, whichis fucking beautiful super high
cut at the bottom and super lowcut on the chest.
And then there's this awesomelittle cropped hoodie.
That is just fucking gorgeousas well.
So there you go.
Maison Deneige, my favoritelifestyle brand, is coming
through.
Make sure you check it out.
Oh and last but not least, ohmy gosh, you guys, I can't say
(08:03):
much about this, because this isan announcement that's going to
be coming up, uh, soon,possibly on the next show.
Um, but I there is a hugeproject that I've had in the
works there for a while there,and it's almost ready to go, so
I'm excited to be able to bringthis to you.
That's all I could say is justlike please tune into the next
(08:24):
episode because like it's morethan likely going to be
announced on that one.
So, anyway, that's all I'msaying.
Okay, let's jump into today'sepisode right after this quick
announcement.
It's that time of year wherepeople are making all kinds of
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(08:47):
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That's ingredients withintegrity.
It's Joy Mode Joining me on theshow.
(09:58):
This is the first time I've hadsomeone who produces chastity
cages or a chastity companyperson come on the show and his
name is KD.
He's from Kink 3D ChastityCompany and I'm so excited to
have you here today.
Thanks for joining me.
Say hello to all of thelisteners.
Hey, venus, it's so great to behere.
(10:19):
Okay, I'm like this is greattiming, but I'm very excited to
talk about this.
This is excellent timingbecause for a couple of reasons.
So this show is going to beaired on day one of the two-week
Chastity Challenge, that's, theLocked in Love Chastity
Challenge, with myself and KeyBarrett, author of the book
(10:40):
Locked in Love, one of myall-time favorite books.
So it is going to be right atthe beginning of the challenge.
Great timing.
I'm so happy to have you on theshow to talk about Chastity.
But also, wasn't there justrecently an article that came
out?
In which magazine was it?
Cosmo?
It was Okay.
(11:01):
And what did that say?
What did that article say?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Yeah, it was so exciting to see this.
It came out a few weeks ago,but they just posted it to their
Instagram yesterday and it's anarticle about how the site
Clips for Sale has just namedChastity as their fetish of the
year for 2025.
So they did this based on allof the data and analytics that
they capture about what's reallyblowing up in the world of porn
, and it turns out that chastityis on sort of an exponential
(11:27):
curve upward.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Who would have thought it's so funny and I
can't wait to get into, likeyour business and everything
like that.
But I've been talking aboutchastity for years, for years,
and I get a lot of.
There's two camps that guys arelike oh yeah, oh yeah, chastity
is so great, yeah, love it, Ican't wait to try it.
Blah, blah, blah.
And then there's the other guyswho have a knee-jerk reaction
(11:49):
like fuck, no, I could never,like that is so scary, there's
no fucking way.
So I can't wait to jump into itwith you.
So your company is called Kink3D, and tell me a little bit
about your company, how you gotstarted in all of this Sure.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
So I'll give a little bit of personal backstory here.
I've always been a pretty kinkydude and I'm one of those
people when you hang around BDSMcircles.
There's a kind of common originstory that you hear from a lot
of people, which is oh, I wasseven or eight and I was
watching cartoons and theprincess got captured and put in
the dungeon and something aboutthat just really kind of
tingled my brain and I knewsomething exciting about that
(12:29):
and I was one of those people.
So I've always been into a lotof stuff in that area of
sexuality.
And chastity was something thatI came across at some point on
the internet and thought, oh,that looks kind of interesting,
and bought a product or two andtried them and they really did
not work for me.
Just immediately they causedproblems, they were
uncomfortable, they seemedoutright dangerous, and I looked
(12:51):
around and couldn't findanything better and thought, man
, okay, I guess this kink justisn't for me.
I don't know how other peopleare doing it, but I'm going to
put that aside, and there'splenty other kinks in the sea,
so I'll just give up on this one.
And a couple of years afterthat I saw on Reddit someone
posted a photo of themselveswearing a locking cock ring, and
(13:12):
it was kind of two parts thatconnect together with this
little lock and it was sort oflike chastity light and I had
this idea okay, that seems kindof cool, Maybe I can do that,
maybe that'll work for me.
So there was a company in Polandthat hand welds these things.
They're like super.
So, yeah, you can tell how muchof a kinkster I am.
So I ordered one and a fewmonths later it arrived and it
(13:32):
just did not work the way that Iwanted it to, and I got so
frustrated by this experiencethat my one shot at something
chastity related still didn'twork out that I decided, okay,
I'm just going to do this myself.
So I started learning about 3Dmodeling.
So I learned the software to dowhat's called CAD modeling,
(13:53):
which is computer aided modeling, and also started learning
about 3D printing at the sametime and put those two things
together and started prototypingmy own products, originally
those kind of locking cock rings, and then, pretty quickly after
that, the community that I wastalking to really just wanted to
see cages, so started workingon those as well, and they
really took off.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
So you 3D print these cages.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
That's correct.
So they're 3D printed.
But if you look at them, if youhave any, if a lot of your
listeners may have somefamiliarity with 3D printing,
and typically if you look atthem, if you have any, if a lot
of your listeners may have somefamiliarity with 3D printing,
and typically if you look at a3D print, there'll be what's
called layer lines on them,which means that they're
basically kind of rough.
They have lots of little stepson them and that's what's
stereotypical with 3D printing.
Ours do not look like that atall.
(14:38):
So I've shown these products tofriends of mine who are
mechanical engineers and theirheads just explode when they see
them.
They do not understand thetechnology of how we make what
we do, because when you look atit and you feel it and you get
it in your hands, they don'thave any of that kind of layer
line stepping to the surface.
They just feel like anincredibly smooth product.
(14:59):
So that's the result of usingreally the cutting edge of
what's.
The jargon is additivemanufacturing, but basically it
means 3D printing.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Okay, I know nothing about that sort of thing.
Are all of the cages made fromthe same material?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
With slight variations.
Yes, they're all made fromwhat's called PA-12 nylon powder
.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
There's slightly different types of that that we
use for different colors anddifferent products, but
basically they're all the sameOkay okay and so so chastity
being so popular and I'm notreally surprised to hear that
it's so popular Cuckolding iscrazy popular too, and the two
kind of do kind of go hand inhand a little bit in some
(15:44):
circles, but I'm not surprised,like with it being so popular.
Have you noticed like more andmore demand for your cages?
Because, like I contacted youback in October, you were like
I'm so fucking busy right now,you back in October, and you
were like I'm so fucking busyright now with Locktober, so I'm
like all right, cool, so isthis big demand for it?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
We have definitely seen that.
We have seen huge growth overthe five years since I started
the business, and particularlythe past I would say one to two
years.
It feels like it's really hit akind of inflection point,
almost where it's hit a certainlevel of mainstreamness within
the kink world.
That's really taking off.
It's been very exciting to see.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Yeah, Key Barrett was talking about that before,
where he was saying how manychastity cages are sold on
Amazon?
Like it, that they have it inthere like their big warehouse,
like you can get it delivered infour hours because they have so
many of them, Cause they sellso many of them.
I'm just like damn, like holyshit.
(16:48):
So I spoke to a couple, somesome of the helpful cocktail
members that do support thepodcast.
I told my private Snapchatgroup that I was going to be
interviewing you and they wereso excited.
They're like oh my God, I havethe Cobra cage from that company
and I fucking love it, andthey've shown me pictures and
(17:09):
everything.
I'm like oh, it's a really nicecage.
So how many different types ofcages do you sell, and do you
only sell male chastity devices,or is there such thing as a
female chastity device?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
So I'll answer the second question first and then
go to the first one.
So the second question we doonly do male or technically
penis having, because weactually have quite a few trans
customers as well but primarilymale chastity devices.
That is the bread and butter ofour company.
We get a surprising number ofrequests, including from various
friends of mine, for femalechastity, what you would say
(17:45):
chastity belts as well, fullbelts that go around the waist.
We've had a number of requestsfor people who would love to see
an improvement to thoseproducts, a kind of latest and
greatest product in the marketfrom us for that, and it's just
a much more challengingengineering project.
There's a lot more material,there's a lot more complex
geometry that goes into that.
(18:05):
So so far we haven't done it,but we would love to in the
future if we can figure out agood way to do it.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Right, because it has to go around the waist.
It's got to be, I guess, muchmore substantial than just
something sticking on a wiener.
Exactly, it's got to be, Iguess, much more substantial
than just something sticking ona wiener.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Exactly.
There are a lot of morepracticality issues there.
Can you design something wherepeople can still do their thing
and go about their day and sleepcomfortably in it ideally, go
to the gym comfortably in itideally and so far we haven't
figured out any.
We haven't had the inspirationon how to do that in a way that
would satisfy our prettyrigorous standards for what we
(18:38):
want when we launch a newproduct.
But the requests have beenfrequent.
I think of this as it's almostlike Title IX for chastity.
It's women banging down ourdoors saying we want equal
opportunity to have our orgasmsdenied to you and I feel really
bad that we can't provide it.
But we just haven't figured itout yet.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
I'm just picturing that that would not be me, just
so you know.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I can imagine from having listened to your podcast.
And to answer your firstquestion about how many
different ones do we make, theanswer is when I started I
thought, oh, maybe we'll havethree sizes of cages, and then
each time that I landed on alineup that I was happy with, I
would keep getting emails orsocial media messages from
(19:22):
customers saying, hey, can youmake something halfway between
this and this, because itdoesn't fit me quite right.
So, fast forwarding to today,we actually have 40 cage sizes
and then 24 ring sizes, which isthe piece that goes behind the
whole package.
So when you multiply thattogether, there are actually 960
(19:43):
distinct size combinations thatyou can get from us to fit your
anatomy.
So that's one of the thingsthat we really pride ourselves
on is that we have all of thosein stock you can order and
generally it'll get shipped outin about two to three business
days, and that is just way morethan basically any other company
on the market.
So we try really hard to havesomething that's going to fit
almost everyone's anatomy reallycomfortably and really well.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I'm not surprised to hear that guys need to have
different size combinations orwhatever, because, like the
biggest complaint that I haveheard from guys, other than
they're scared or it isdifficult to sleep in, is that
finding the right fit is reallydifficult.
So how does it work?
Like when guys go online,they're like do you provide them
(20:27):
with instructions on how tomeasure them?
What if they buy it and itdoesn't fit?
Can they send it back?
Is that a dumb question?
I don't know.
It's not.
Like you can send backunderwear, so I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
It's not a dumb question at all.
I'll try to answer all of thosepoints that you raised.
So, first of all, sizing isindeed one of the biggest
challenges with chastity and itcan be really frustrating if you
get something and it justdoesn't work quite right for you
, particularly because, as yousaid, in most cases it's a
product that you're not going tobe able to return because of
the intimate nature of theproducts.
We do a number of things to doour best to help with that.
(21:01):
We have a lot of guidance onour website.
We have an awesome customerservice team who are very well
trained.
Where you can email us, you canactually send in photos.
So we're a very unusual officewhere a lot of people's
professional job in our officeslook very carefully, analyzing
photos of people's dicks thatthey send in and then trying to
give the best advice that we can, and sometimes we'll have 10 or
(21:22):
20 emails in an email chainwhere we really try to dial in
what we think is going to workwell for someone.
So we do our best on that.
We also partner with stores andevents where you can, in fact,
have a whole sizing experienceto try on the product in person.
So we partner with about 10stores around the world now and
we're working very hard tosignificantly increase that
number.
(21:42):
So in major cities like SanFrancisco, New York, London,
Amsterdam, we have stores thatyou can just go into and try on
our range of products, and youcan find all those on our
website.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I did not know that you could go in a store and try
on a chastity cage.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I did not know that they get carefully cleaned
afterwards.
And, yeah, I believe that weare the first brand that has
offered that experience andwe're working very hard to
expand it.
We also go to a lot ofkink-related events.
So I don't know if you've heardof the Folsom Street Fair,
which is a huge kink event thathappens each year in San
Francisco, and there's a numberof other events like that around
the country and indeed aroundthe world, and we're going to
(22:20):
more and more of those, and thenour team will give expert,
fitting advice and let peopletry them on while they're there.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Oh, that's great.
I think people would reallyenjoy and benefit from something
like that, where they canactually be there, see the
product and be able to talk topeople and get advice about
fitting, because, yeah, it seemsto be a big struggle for the
guys thinking about chastity.
I've heard all sorts of things.
I just posted something on myBlue Sky I think it was
(22:46):
yesterday or the day beforeyesterday.
What's the most difficult thingabout chastity?
It was actually a great thread,but there were a lot of
comments on there about gettingthe right fit stuff, pinching or
shaping, or difficult to sleepin or difficult to go to the gym
and stuff like that.
For me, I'm like I don't give afuck about any of that stuff,
(23:10):
obviously because, like I'm akey holder.
So for me, the most importantpart of the chastity cage is
what it looks like.
I want the Ferrari of fuckingchastity cages and I want it to
look beautiful.
And so how do you balance thatbetween the designs that you
create, being functional and notpinching and not chafing and
(23:30):
all that stuff, but also beingvery nice to look at where
people are like, oh damn, thatone looks really good.
I want to buy that one.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Yeah, I think you really hit the nail on the head
where what we are trying toaccomplish as a company is to
not compromise on either form orfunction, and in fact, we see
ourselves as being about halfwaybetween sex toys and fashion
accessories, and somethingthat's so cool about Chastity is
that it operates in both thoseworlds.
It's definitely a sex toy, butit also is something that
accentuates and accessorizes thebody, and we know how important
(24:04):
that is to people and you wantit to look good, and I think
honestly that's part of thereason that it has taken off is
that it encourages people to beexhibitionists online because
they want to show off howawesome they look and especially
, it's a form of exhibitionismwhere you can do it without
showing your face, so that alsomakes it a little bit lower
stakes for people to do online.
(24:24):
But we do work hard, and so I'mactually I'm still our cage
designer and I work really hardto do designs that are going to
make people, whether they're bigor small, whether they have a
huge dick or a really small dick, that they're still going to
feel great about their body andthey're still going to look at
themselves in the cage and likethe way they look and I'm really
proud that our cages have beendescribed as like a tuxedo for
(24:45):
the cock or like Seville Row, ifyou're familiar with that
British fashion like the SevilleRow of chastity cages.
People do say those things andI feel really happy about that.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, that's got to feel good.
That's the kind of feedbackthat you definitely would want
if you're designing chastitycages.
What about the keys?
Do you pay attention to the waythat the keys look?
Because, as a key holder, Ihave found some of the keys are
ugly as fuck.
I'm like this looks likesomething someone dropped in
(25:15):
Home Depot.
I don't know.
I want to wear this on a chainon my neck.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
So that is a great question, and what I can tell
you is that we are working onthat.
Our keys are not as bad as someof the ones out there.
There is a particularlyembarrassing trend for the
really cheap Chinese knockoffsof cages to come with keys that
say BDSM stamped on them, so weavoid that particular pitfall.
However, our current keys arenot all that nice to look at.
(25:42):
They're pretty industrial, butwe're actually working on a much
more attractive key option.
So stay tuned a few months fromnow and I may have a better
answer for you on that question.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, because I was just like Ilove key holding and everything
like that, but I kind of wantthe key to look, the mat to
match the Ferrari, you know likewe totally agree with you, and
that's something we're activelyworking on Um, what are some
common myths andmisunderstandings about chastity
other than you know?
(26:10):
just like I said earlier, thefact that I get a lot of guys
who say I could never do that,and I I'm like actually you
could and you would enjoy itshockingly.
What are some common myths andmisunderstandings about chastity
that you've learned over theyears?
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah.
So I think we totally shouldget into later why people like
chastity so much and why they'dwant to do it like you just
brought up.
But to get into the question ofmyths and common mistakes that
people make yes, there are quitea few.
So I would say the singlenumber one myth that we hear is
that wearing a cage is going tomake your penis smaller.
So this is called shrinkage.
(26:47):
If you see it online, peopleconstantly ask about it and
sometimes people are scared ofthis and they're worried about
that.
And sometimes people areactually really aroused by that
and they say, ooh, is it goingto shrink if you have a small
penis?
Humiliation kind of fetish?
They're actually kind ofexcited by that and the answer
to both the people who want itand the people who are terrified
of it is no, that is not goingto happen.
There is no reason to believe,in all the research that we've
(27:09):
done and all the medicalprofessionals that we've talked
to, that wearing a cage is goingto have any sort of permanent
change to the anatomy of thepenis.
That's just not going to happen.
So that's the first one.
The next myth I would raise is alot of people who really aren't
very familiar with chastity andare trying it for the first
time, think if I find a cagethat fits me right, it's going
to be inescapable.
(27:29):
I'm not going to be able tosneak my penis out of it, I'm
not going to cheat, and the kindof dirty secret, if you will,
of chastity products is thatthat's just not true.
Chastity cages are notinescapable.
They are not Fort Knox, unlessyou're using a piercing to
actually physically lock yourpenis onto the bars of the cage,
(27:49):
which a number of our customersdo.
In fact, some of our customersget a penis piercing
specifically to use for chastitybecause they're so turned on by
the idea that they can lockthemselves in and they won't be
able to get themselves out, evenif they want to.
But for the average personwho's not doing it, with a
piercing you're going to be ableto get out if you try hard
enough, and so I always wantpeople to know that going in,
(28:11):
because I don't want people tohave the wrong expectations and
then be disappointed.
There's always going to be amental component to chastity, as
a kink, as well as the purelyphysical component, and you have
to want to go along with it,whether it's just by yourself,
or if you're doing it with a keyholder, with a partner, you
have to be mentally committed tothe process.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, oh, I've definitely heard stories of
people who've lost the key, soit's interesting to hear you say
that you could get out if youreally wanted to.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Yes and no.
You can generally get out inthe sense that you can slip your
penis out the back of the cage.
So in that sense you can cheatbecause you can access your
penis, you can touch yourself,you can get pleasure, and that's
something that of course peoplethe dream is to not be able to
do.
That.
That's the whole turn on.
But for certain people'sanatomies and certain sizes of
cages you might genuinely not beable to slip the whole device
(29:06):
off of your package.
In other words, you might notbe able to get your balls out
through the gap between the twopieces of the device.
So in that sense, if you losethe key, it is stuck on your
body.
You're not going to be able toget it off without breaking it
or using some kind of tool tosnap it or something.
It is going to be stuck on yourbody but it might be kind of
dangling in a fairly undignifiedway because you could get your
(29:27):
penis out the back, but thenit's kind of dangling off your
balls between your legs.
So you don't want to end up inthat situation.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
That would be embarrassing um, okay, yes,
let's get into why people wantto do chastity in the first
place.
Um, I definitely feel likethere's more of a draw, like for
men this is, I don't know whatit is.
It's definitely more enticingfor a lot of guys.
Um, key for, but for keyholding.
(29:56):
For women I don't find it hasthe same kind of draw, although
for some of my friends and I Imean I know what that feels like
to hold the keys it is prettyfucking phenomenal.
But the fascinating thing overthe years is that a lot of guys
have said that they werehesitant or scared at first
(30:18):
about chastity, but then theyfound like they actually didn't
want to be unlocked and likethat they want to stay like
locked up and that like, if theyare unlocked and they're
allowed to come, that likethey're like oh that sucked,
like I just want to be locked upagain.
This is so crazy for a lot ofguys to hear because they're
like what?
This makes no sense.
(30:39):
What is the draw?
Why do guys love it so much?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, we hear that all the time.
Exactly what you said, thatpeople will unlock and they'll
come, and they'll be so excitedto come and then, as soon as
they do, they will justimmediately regret it.
So it's a very addictive kinkwhere, for sure, some people are
just never going to be into it,it's not going to be their
thing.
But people who are into it getvery, very into it.
So there's a few reasons, Ithink, why it is such an
(31:03):
appealing kink and particularlywhy it overlaps and goes so well
with cuckolding, which is, ofcourse, of interest to you.
So the way that I oftendescribe this is that you can
kind of view sex toys or dividesex toys into two different
types of categories.
There's the more traditionalsex toys go into the category of
pleasure, right?
(31:24):
So dildos or vibrators, they'rethere to give you pleasure and
ultimately, hopefully, make youcome, whereas a second category
of sex toys is not about thedestination, but it's more about
the journey.
It's about arousal, it's aboutbuilding your sexual energy to a
higher level, and that's reallywhere chastity cages fall into
(31:45):
place.
So if you wear a cage for evena day or a few days, you're
going to build that horniness toa higher and higher level.
We had a customer who referredto our products as a perpetual
horny machine and I really lovedthat and that's really fun.
Some people just really lovethat state of being in a
heightened, buzzing state ofsexual energy and that to them
(32:06):
is much more important thangetting off and coming,
particularly for a man, becauseas a man, if you come, there is
that hormonal chemical responsewhere you really crash.
You crash in terms of yoursexual energy, you can crash in
terms of your mood.
So if you retain that and youbuild it and you keep getting
hornier and hornier over aperiod of days or weeks or, in
(32:27):
some of our customers' cases,months or longer, it gets you to
this higher and higher level ofsexual energy.
So that's the first reason.
I think another reason is thehornier you get in a lot of
cases, the more it puts you in amindset where you want to and
you feel, where you feel readyto pursue fantasies that you
(32:51):
have.
So there may be fantasies thatpeople have that are a little
bit embarrassing or a little bitscary, that you have.
So there may be fantasies thatpeople have that are a little
bit embarrassing or a little bitscary.
And if you are at work andthinking about that fantasy or
just in your normal life andthinking about that fantasy, you
might not be ready to do it,but if you're super, super,
super horny and turned on,you're going to say, yeah, you
know what, I'm going to givethat a go.
So in the cuckolding world, anexample that comes to mind for
(33:11):
me might be something around acream pie cleanup, where I think
a lot of guys, a lot of cucks,have that fantasy, but then the
moment comes and they'resquicked out and they're like,
oh man, I don't know if I can dothis, even though they've been
fantasizing it for years.
So if you're wearing a chassiscage and you've built up that
horniness to this totally insanelevel, you're going to be more
ready to do that.
(33:31):
So it's something that canactually help you to explore
other fantasies that you maybehave wanted to do for a long
time.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Oh my God, I love that example.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
And I think no, I'm glad I figured that that might
resonate with you, yeah, and soanother reason, I think, is
around those.
So those first reasons I gavewere really around sex.
Right, they were around sex andarousal and horniness.
But I think there's also animportant reason around the
symbolism of wearing a cage,particularly if you're doing it
(34:03):
with a partner.
So if you're wearing this, it'salmost like I refer to it as
the sort of classic BDSM collarthat you'll see in 50 Shades of
Grey or that type of thing, butfor the male package instead.
So you're wearing somethingthat symbolizes submission, that
symbolizes service to thepartner that you're in a dynamic
with and that can really createthis feeling of intimacy and
(34:25):
closeness and connection to yourpartner.
And I think that's reallyimportant and a big part of this
too, that cages can actuallyreally create this higher
emotional level where you feeldeeply connected to your partner
and in a way that enhances thefeeling of service and
submission.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I love the symbolism of it so much.
I hate it when guys send medick pics, obviously, but send
me a chastity pic, I'm not goingto hate it as much.
And if it's a beautifulchastity pic then I'm like damn,
that is a work of art rightthere.
You know, it's funny.
The very first time I gotintroduced to chastity was by
(35:04):
accident.
It was so bad I was.
I was talking to somebody andthey mentioned something about
prostate milking and I was likeI don't know what that is, so
I'm going to look it up inPornhub.
And so I did, and I startedwatching this video and the guy
walked into the room and he wasnaked and all he had on was a
(35:26):
chastity cage.
I'd never seen one in my life.
Okay, I didn't know what it was, I had never heard of one.
I looked at it.
I was like what the fuck isthat?
And then he laid down and shewas like unlocking it and taking
it off and I was like what inthe actual fuck is that?
(35:47):
Is that like some sort offashion accessory, Like I don't
know what that is?
But it was after that that I metmy friend Jay, who he had a
long history with chastity lovedit.
His girlfriend locked him upfor like a year and like he
loved it, and so he taught meabout.
You know what it was like towear a cage and be in that kind
(36:10):
of relationship.
And then I was like, oh no, Iunderstand this, but I did not
know anything about it beforethat.
How do men especially bringthis up to their girlfriend or
wife or someone they want to betheir key holder and do it in a
way in which they will hopefullynot be weirded out and kind of
(36:33):
understand about why they wouldwant to hold the key or why they
want even to lock up in thefirst place?
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Conveniently.
One thing that you could do ispoint them to the Cosmo article
that we talked about at thebeginning and say hey, it can't
be that strange because it'stalked about in Cosmo, so that
actually might.
I mean, in all seriousness,that could be a good way to do
it, because I think that whensomething is validated by the
mainstream media, you knowrightly or wrongly, or good or
bad, I do actually think thatthat helps a lot because it
(37:01):
feels like, okay, it's not thatbizarre, it's out there.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
It's in.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Cosmo.
It's in Cosmo.
It can't be that it's the newbutt plug, it's the new vibrator
, it's the next normal kink.
So I think that that can be onething to do.
I think the classic advicethat's given around this is to
not make it all about you as theman, to rather frame it in the
context of hey, this thing turnsme on, but also here's what you
(37:27):
as the woman are going to getout of it.
So it's not just something whereI'm asking for my partner to be
a kink dispenser for me.
It's not just something whereI'm asking for my partner to be
a kink dispenser for me and tosuddenly take on this almost
burden or this responsibility ofI need to be holding the key.
I need to.
What do I do with that?
What does that mean?
How do I keep you excited whileI'm holding the key?
(37:48):
But rather focus on here's whyit turns me on.
It's going to put me into thiselevated state of sexual energy
as I'm going about my day.
If I'm at work or I'm on abusiness trip or I hell.
I'm just in the other room andI'm wearing the cage and I know
that you've got the key.
I'm going to be thinking aboutyou because I've got this device
on my body.
(38:09):
That is signifying theconnection that I've got with
you in a relationship.
So it's going to improve mood,it's going to improve sexual
energy and it doesn't mean thatwe have to do it any one
particular way.
Now I think some people think ifI get into chastity it means
(38:31):
you're never going to get tohave sex with me again, and
that's not true at all.
You can.
I think we've talked to a lotof customers who really like
this dynamic of I'm going tocage the beast, I'm going to
give you the key and you'regoing to get to control when I
take the cage off and when I putit on.
But when you want it off, whenyou get access to my penis, when
you want to get fucked, weabsolutely can do that.
(38:52):
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
It's just that you're going to be the one that gets
to choose.
Yeah, just like a vibrator isnot going to replace your
husband's dick, it's just a funlittle way to spruce up the
bedroom.
Fun, that's basically it.
I love the advice that you gave.
Also, there's the book Lockedin Love by Key Barrett, where
him and his wife they did twoweeks of chastity and she
contributed to that book as welland wrote about what it was
(39:21):
like from her perspective as akey holder.
I think that's a great resourcefor any women who would like to
learn about it or husbands whowould just be like, hey, you
might really like this.
So go read about it in Cosmoand read about it in the Locked
in Love book and I swear we'regoing to have a lot of fun baby.
And maybe if guys approach itthat way, it won't be so
(39:44):
shocking and so weird and likewhat the fuck?
Because, yeah, if you're goingfrom straight vanilla land to
chastity, that's a bit of a gap.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Absolutely, and it doesn't in any way have to be a
24-7 thing you can start with oryou don't even have to progress
beyond this just a very casualplaying with it within a scene,
within a sexual encounter.
Maybe you wear the cage for 20minutes while you're eating your
girlfriend's pussy or eatingyour wife's pussy.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
You don't have to go beyond that.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
It can just be something fun and casual that
you introduce into sexualdynamics.
You don't have to make it anall or nothing, super big
serious.
Thing.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Yeah, and I'm glad you brought that up, because
there is this kind of thoughtprocess online, especially where
it kind of for a lot of guys itsignifies like the death of
their penis, like forever, likethey're never going to have sex
again, and that's like withcuckolding too.
A lot of guys just assume thatit's all about sexual denial and
that cucks would never have PIVsex again.
(40:45):
I'm like this is so dumb.
I don't know where we get thisfrom, but like this is not the
case.
This is very much something funto just amp up your sex life in
the bedroom.
Cuckolding or chastity or boththis is just an extra little bit
of spice in your sex life andyou're right, you can do it
however you want.
So this because this episode iscoming out day one of the
(41:08):
chastity challenge.
I'm assuming that a lot of guyswill already have a cage or
have chosen one or whatever, orthinking about it.
But for those who don't have acage or are looking to buy a new
cage, what kind of tips oradvice would you give them?
To?
(41:28):
Number one, pick out the rightcage that's for them and then
isn't measuring like a very like.
This is a process that you haveto do very carefully and, like
I'm pretty sure you have sometips about that.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
I definitely do.
We have a lot of information onour website, so that's an easy
starting point that I recommend.
If you happen to be luckyenough to be in a city that has
one of the stores that wepartner with, go into a store
and you can try them on inperson.
That is ultimately going to bethe best way to do this, rather
than guessing online.
We'll do our best to help youthrough customer service, but it
is always hard.
(42:03):
As far as common mistakes thatpeople make, though, or giving
some tips, I think there's twoimportant ones that are in sort
of equal and opposite directions.
One is some people think that Ishould get a cage that has a
lot of extra room in it, becausewhen I get hard, then they'll
have room to grow and that'llmake me more comfortable.
We find, generally, that is nota good idea.
(42:23):
If you have extra room in thecage, it's going to be a lot
harder to just wear itthroughout the day hiding it
under your pants.
It's going to be bulky.
It's going to be messy when youuse the bathroom.
Most people are not happy whenthey've got extra room.
They want to fill the cage allthe way when flaccid.
The opposite is.
A lot of people have a fantasyparticularly if they're into
more small penis humiliation oremasculation that they want a
(42:46):
cage that's going to be reallysmall.
They want to cram themselvesinto a tiny cage.
We also do not think that's agood idea.
It's just going to look sillyand hang off your body and most
of your penis won't end up beingin the cage.
So we really do recommend getone that is a reasonable and
good fit for your flaccid size.
That's the first piece ofadvice that I would give.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up.
I can't stand seeing chastitypictures.
The guy's like he's locked upin a cage.
I can't stand it when there'sall this extra room in there.
I'm like what are you doing?
And like that is not to me notattractive to see all that extra
space in there.
Always tell them that like youknow you need to go down a size
or two.
Like there shouldn't be all ofthat airiness in there.
(43:37):
Like well, ok, we'll talk aboutair airy, but like cleaning and
stuff like that, but thereshouldn't be that much room in
there, it just should be snug.
But then I've seen the otherone they're talking about, where
they try to get the smallestcage possible and it ends up
just flattening this mushy flat.
It looks like you're getting amammogram for your wiener.
Like it's just like so flat.
You're like that doesn't lookright at all.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
So we have a very Goldilocks philosophy on this
Not too big, not too small, getone.
That's really the right sizefor your penis.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Yeah, it needs to look snug and like comfortable
and just the right size, likethe right fit, okay.
And so cleaning how do you carefor a chastity cage?
It's like if somebody is like,okay, I need to do this, I feel
like hygiene and cleaning needsto be really important, but how
do you do that if you're lockedfor any period of time?
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Super important.
So this is one of the thingsthat was top of mind for me when
I first started designing theproducts about five years ago.
A lot of the plastic cages atthat time were basically plastic
tubes that didn't have any kindof ventilation whatsoever.
They were impossible to keepclean and very quickly they
would start to smell bad.
It was just gross.
It was not a good situation.
(44:50):
So when I started designingcages, I intentionally had that
idea of having a lot of openareas between the bars so that
it would be ventilated and sothat it would be easy to keep
clean.
So with the cages that we offer, basically you can wear it
without really taking it off andyou can just shower.
And as long as you're somewhatconscientious about lathering up
(45:10):
a lot of soap and getting it inthere between the bars and
washing it, you can keep itpretty clean and we have really
not heard almost any complaintsabout people staying locked that
way.
I do think if you are runninginto issues or just as best
practice, taking it off everyonce in a while, let's say once
a week at least, to just give abit of a deeper cleaning to both
the cage and to yourself, is agood idea.
(45:32):
I certainly think that makessense and is a smart thing to do
but I don't know that youtechnically have to do it.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Yeah, I've seen cages that are kind of just like all
closed off except for a fewholes at the end, and I'm like,
oh God, that's a skin infectionwaiting to happen.
I just feel like there's justyou can't keep that clean and
dry in there for sure.
So that's good to know.
The more open areas in betweenthe bars and stuff like that,
the easier it is to keep clean,just by showering and you and
washing properly and stuff likethat.
(46:02):
That's really really good.
One of the big complaints thatI hear from guys constantly
actually, especially whenthey're first trying chastity
and they have their first nightwhere they sleep with this thing
on, they're like, oh my God,that was the worst sleep I've
ever had.
I was constantly getting wokenup with a boner and it was
(46:23):
uncomfortable because I was inthis cage or it was just
terrible.
First of all, my reaction isusually just like, oh, suck it
up, honey, but you can figure itout.
But but anyway, what are somesome tips for these guys who
really struggle with sleepingwith this cage?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
That's a great question.
Sleeping is probably thehardest time to to be wearing a
cage and this is this is reallynotorious within the world of
chastity because of nighttimeerections, because nighttime
erections are involuntary andyou can't because you're asleep,
you don't have the ability tosort of adjust yourself a little
bit when it's happening.
And so in the old days when Iwas first getting started with
(47:02):
this a lot of the cages on themarket you'd wear it and then at
four in the morning or five inthe morning you'd wake up with
this just horrible sense kind ofburning sensation under the
scrotum and you're you, oh God,I have to get it off right away.
I can't handle this anymore,and that was a significant
influence to me, and how Iwanted to design cages was to
(47:23):
prevent that from happening, toreally remove any kind of sharp
edges and anything that wouldcreate that kind of sensation.
As far as advice to give people, first it's choose a cage that
is as comfortable as possible,that is very rounded, is very
smooth, doesn't have any pinchpoints or anything that's going
to hurt at night.
The second piece of advice isuse some kind of lubricant or
(47:44):
lotion, particularly under theballs.
Basically that is the areawhere you get this burning most
intensely, and using somethinglike that is going to help to
reduce friction and it's goingto make it more comfortable.
And using something like thatis going to help to reduce
friction and is going to make itmore comfortable.
The other thing, though, that Ithink is very important to say
is some people are just alwaysgoing to have trouble sleeping
at night in a chastity cage.
They could have the mostcomfortable, most perfectly
(48:06):
fitting, excellent cage, andthey just still are going to
struggle with it, and in thosesituations, we think it's
totally fine to take the cageoff before you go to bed and put
it back again.
Fine to take the cage offbefore you go to bed and put it
back again first thing in themorning.
Think of it like we always liketo say that.
We think of it like glasses orlike contacts.
You go to bed.
It's the last thing you takeoff before you go to sleep.
It's the first thing you put onin the morning when you wake up
, and it can almost beritualized in that sort of way,
(48:29):
and it's fine.
It doesn't make you lessdevoted to chastity or a less
hardcore participant in thiskink.
It's just allowing you to liveyour life and do your thing and
not be grouchy and miserable allday because you haven't slept
well, it's totally fine.
So I really encourage people todo that if they're struggling
to sleep at night.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
That's true.
That's true.
I guess it's not the end of theworld if he's got to take it
off Now, before we wrap this up,because we're almost out of
time, are?
Speaker 2 (49:00):
there any last things that you would like to say
about chastity?
Well, in preparation fortalking to you, I was actually
looking on.
There's a whole subredditcalled Cuckold Psychology You're
probably familiar and so I wenton there and I did some
searching for the keyword ofchastity to see what people
talked about within the world ofcuckold psychology, and I found
a quote on there that I thoughtreally captured it, honestly,
better and more eloquently thanI could.
(49:20):
So, if it's okay with you, Ithought maybe I would just read
it and your audience might likeit.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
So this was just.
It was from a few weeks ago,from a user on Reddit called
Chetum K, and here's what hesays.
He says people that have neverbeen in chastity have no idea
how it feels.
You assume it's restrictive anduncomfortable.
The reality is, as long as it'ssized properly, chastity is very
comfortable and it will causeyou to experience arousal like
you have never experienced itbefore.
You will leak pre-cum profuselyall day long.
(49:49):
It feels so good to experiencethat much arousal that you don't
want to orgasm because the 30second orgasm and that's all
gone, and it's not aspleasurable as not coming and
staying on the ride.
This is the obvious reason thatmen, whether cucks or not, want
to stay locked rather than havesex or masturbate.
Add to that the fact thatyou're a cuck and your wife or
(50:10):
girlfriend is doing the thingthat turns you on the most.
That's why Cuck's Cage becauseit's the best sex toy ever
invented for men, because itfeels better than coming.
If you haven't tried chastityand denial, you should,
especially if you're a cuck orif you're a reluctant cuck that
can't get out of his own headlong enough to try it.
The cage will drown out all theinsecurities and will replace
(50:32):
them with arousal.
I thought that was the mostawesome quote that really
encapsulated this.
And the kicker of this that Ithought was really fun was after
I found that I was like, oh,who is this person?
So I looked at his Redditprofile history, his post
history, and I saw that heactually is a customer of ours.
So he actually posted earlierwith some photos of one of our
(50:52):
cages, which I had no idea whenI originally found the quote, so
I hope that that helps toencapsulate it and maybe give
some encouragement and someinspiration to some of your
audience.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
That is beautiful and I love that that's so inspiring
for men, because it talks aboutthis being kind of an evolution
of male sexuality to somethingthat maybe a lot of guys don't
even know is possible, which isfascinating to me.
This is so much more than justlike a piece of equipment or a
(51:21):
symbolism of something.
This is truly about somethingso much more than that.
So this conversation has beenabsolutely fascinating.
Katie, I'm so happy that youhave come on the show today to
talk about this.
I'm so happy to have somebodyactually explaining all of this
stuff about chastity.
So thank you so much.
Where can everybody learn moreabout your products, buy your
(51:43):
products and that sort of thing?
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Venus, this has been such a blast, so thank you for
having me on.
People can find us first atkink3dcom, so just kink, then
the number three, then theletter dcom.
Make sure you go to the websiteand don't just Google, because
we actually have found there areknockoff companies that try to
steal our traffic.
So Chassis has become sopopular that there's a whole
world of knockoff cages outthere.
So go to the website.
(52:06):
You can also find us on socialmedia kink3ddesigns.
On Twitter X, we have an entiresubreddit that's for our brand.
So just our kink3d, the kink3dsubreddit.
And then we're on Blue Sky nowas well.
Kink3dcom, yeah, yeah, I thinkwe follow you on there already.
Yay, any of those places andyou can find us.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
Okay, that is amazing .
Okay, thank you so much for allof this today.
This has just been mind-blowing.
I love learning about this.
The more I learn about chastity, the more I learn about
cuckolding, the more I learnabout all of this.
It's just like blows my mind.
So I think people are going toget a lot out of this show today
.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
You're very welcome.
Thanks so much for having me on.
It's been a real pleasure.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
That's going to be it for today's episode.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Make sure you go tovenuscuckoldresscom.
That's where you can book aprivate chat with me, and you
can also join the queen'squarters community and get all
the amazing benefits, like theprivate podcast and the helpful
cuck tier, where you can get keyholding for the private
Snapchat group, monthly privatechats with me and weekly live
hangouts and invites to speciallive events.
Oh, and you can also submit aquestion or confession for the
(53:25):
show.
Just go to venuscuckledresscomand click on the link that says
the podcast.
Make sure you follow me on bluesky social.
Yes, I said blue sky social.
Fuck Twitter.
My handle there is atCuckoldressV.
All right, that's it fortoday's show, you guys.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
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