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January 18, 2025 51 mins

Ruby joins the show to share her story of embracing the cuckolding lifestyle from the onset of her relationship with her now husband, including a fresh lens on open communication and shared desires. Unlike many who weave these dynamics in later, her story reveals the power of honesty and compatibility from the start. 

Links

Ruby's Twitter: https://x.com/LifeOfaHotwife

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Join the 2 Week Locked-In Love Challenge with Venus & Key Barrett, MSc - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/offers/FTNWndiv/checkout

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Here's what's coming up on the show.

Speaker 1 (00:03):
And he was like you know, I would really kind of
love if I had someone who justwanted to go out and just live
like the lifestyle that you live, but just like come home to me
and I'm like what do you mean?
This is impossible.
And he just like came in andwas like this is okay, like you

(00:24):
can do this and still be a greatmother and still be a great
coworker and still be a greatfriend and still be a great
partner.
And I could see her up thinkingabout it and so be a great you
know all of that and still havethis satisfaction and this
connection.
That almost makes me feelalmost sad.

(00:47):
Like when I see other couples.
I'm like you should have this.
It was exhilarating, it was verysurreal and I truly I tell him
to this day I'm like I reallydon't think that you thought I
would really do like go for this.
And so I told him like you know, we're gonna set something up.

(01:08):
We got a hotel room and wefound a couple people and I mean
I just kind of let go of myinhibitions and by the end of it
he we both were like yes, Iwant this.
The look in his face like whenhe's like holy shit.
This is happening like this,you know, like he's, you know,
just surrounded by you, gettinglike immersed in all of this

(01:33):
dick and he's just like holyshit this is the venus
cuckoldress podcast a place tolearn all things cuckolding for
the curious, for the passionateand for the sexually empowered
woman who wants it all.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Let's go hello everybody.
Welcome to the show.
I'm your host, venus, and thisis season five of the venus
cuckoldress podcast.
Yes, it's been five years sinceI launched this show and I kind
of launched it on a whim.
I didn't really think about ita lot.
I was like sure I'm going to dothis and look at it now.
It's amazing.
It's one of the most popularshows, I think, in the world and
it's just.
It just blows my mind.
It's been an amazing, amazingjourney.

(02:34):
So thank you so much forlistening in and being a fan and
joining me along this way.
So it's also marks.
This year marks 10 years since Ifirst learned about cuckolding
relationships and developed thispassion for talking about,
learning about this kind ofrelationship.
A decade has gone by and, wow,I have learned so much.

(02:58):
I continue to learn so much.
Today's episode is anotherreally interesting story.
I have a woman by the name ofRuby who's joining the show and
her story is a little bitdifferent the story of her and
her husband.
So most of the time when I talkto couples who are into

(03:20):
cuckolding.
They've been together, marriedtogether for a long time and
then, you know, one day decidedthat they were going to go down
this road together and try outcuckolding.
But that's not the case withthis couple.
This couple kind of like doveright into it from the get go
that this was something thatthey talked about and decided to

(03:41):
do right in the beginning andthen of course, decided you know
that you know things were greatand they were going to get
married and they've been marriednow for a little while and
their relationship is evolving.
But I think that is sointeresting and so unique and I
don't know a lot of coupleswho've done it that way.
So I hope it's a trend.

(04:02):
I hope that this is more of athing that people can be open
and honest about their desiresright in the beginning, when
they first meet somebody anddecide if they're compatible
that way.
Who knows?
But anyway, it's a greatepisode for singles and couples
to have a listen to Lots ofgreat perspective, lots of great
advice and for the guys payattention to the way that he

(04:25):
brought this up to her, becauseI found this really, really
interesting.
Before we get started.
I just have a couple ofannouncements, the first one
being the two-week Locked inLove Chastity Challenge.
I've done this challenge withKee Barrett each year for a few
years now and it is so much fun.
So it starts on February 1st,it ends on Valentine's Day,

(04:46):
february 14th, and this is aspecial challenge for couples
who have maybe thought aboutdoing chastity, maybe talked
about it or are curious to learnabout it, and this is your
opportunity to really give it atry and see how it goes.
So if you want to participate,you can join us in the Queens

(05:07):
Quarters community.
That's on venuscuckoldresscom.
The link if you want to join isin the show notes, for today
it's free and there's a place inthere where, in that community
where you can be chatting aboutit with others as well, and
Keith Barrett, who is the authorof one of my absolute favorite
books called Locked in Love, andhe is going to be doing some

(05:31):
live chats with me.
That's going to be February 3rdand February 10th they're both
Mondays and that'll be happeningat 6pm Pacific Time, that's 9pm
Eastern, and that's going tohappen in the Queens quarters.
There'll be a link where youcan join us for that, for those
live chats.
We're going to be talking abouthow it's going in the two week

(05:52):
chastity challenge and we'll bethere to help answer any
questions that you might haveand you can share how it's going
for you at that time and onFebruary 1st.
So mark your calendars for forthis one.
You're not going to want tomiss the show on that day
because on February 1st I have aspecial chastity episode that's
going to be airing and it'sgoing to be with the founder of

(06:15):
kink 3d.
Kink 3d does the most amazingchastity cages.
You probably heard of themalready.
They're wildly popular and theyhave amazing chastity cages.
So I have the founder of King3Dthat's going to join me on the
show and talk all about chastity.
So don't miss that one airingon February 1st.
If you belong to one of theHelpful Cuck or Friends with

(06:40):
Benefits tiers onvenuscuckledresscom to support
the show, then you will getaccess, early access to that
episode that normally comes outon February 1st.
You'll get a few days earlier.
And last but not least, bigshout out to Dan Savage for
giving me the opportunity tochime in on his hugely popular

(07:01):
sex advice column, savage Love.
I wrote a little piece aboutcuck angst and so I'm always so
happy to be a part of that.
So thank you, dan, for that.
I'll put a link to it in theshow notes for today.
I don't know if you guys know,but way back in 2009, that's
when I was reading Savage Loveevery Thursday in an office with

(07:22):
a bunch of girls and we wouldread this.
We'd sit around the lunch tableand we would read Savage Love
in the Georgia Straightnewspaper and that's how I
learned about kink andnon-monogamy, like I basically
hugely opened my eyes to thingsthat I had no idea even existed,
and that was really thebeginning of the journey for me

(07:45):
to learn about different kindsof relationships.
So thank you, dan, for that,because I wouldn't be here doing
this today if it wasn't for you.
Okay, that's it forannouncements.
Let's get into the show afterthis quick message.

(08:08):
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Okay, joining me on the show?
I have such a wonderful guest.
I'm really excited about this.
Her name is Ruby and she is aqueen of spades, cuckoldress,

(09:36):
and she's here to share herstory.
Say hello to all of thelisteners.
Ruby, hello, it's good to behere.
Yeah, I'm so excited to haveyou share your story because,
like, I've talked to a lot ofguys, but I don't always get the
opportunity to talk to a lot ofwomen, to get the female
perspective, and so I'm soexcited to have you share your
story on the show.

(09:56):
So let's dive into it.
You are married, right?
How long have you been marriedfor?
Yes, two years, okay.
And how long have you knowneach other for?

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, we've had mutual friends, so we really
kind of knew of each other forlonger than we've known each
other, but I would say probablycloser to three.
We really dove right into it.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Okay, and how did this all start with you, guys?

Speaker 1 (10:22):
Well, I was kind of living all start with you guys.
Well, I was kind of living moreof a promiscuous lifestyle at
the time.
I wasn't very shameful, but Iwasn't very bold and proud.
I hadn't explored any of thistype of dynamic before, but I
really was just kind of doing myown thing and he was kind of
the initiator, actually.
We kind of just talked a littlebit through social media and

(10:46):
before we knew it he was likeyou know, I would really kind of
love if I had someone who justwanted to go out and just live
like the lifestyle that you live.
But just like, come home to meand I'm like what do you mean?
This is impossible.
Like a a dream and he was likewell, you know, maybe it's not,

(11:07):
and I'm like, well you know,maybe it's not.
Here we are, um four yearslater.
So we really just uh, we kindof talked for a few months and
we ended up meeting on Halloweenum a few years ago, and I mean
it really just fell into place.
Honestly, we both, our desiresand our wants in all aspects,

(11:33):
even outside of sexuality, werevery, very aligned.
So I feel like we've both beenable to really blossom in this
type of dynamic since then asfar as discovering new things
that we, you know, like and wantto explore.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
So he brought this up right away when you guys were
just oh wow, that doesn't happenvery often.
How bold right Most guys aretoo scared.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
No, he is not scared, not scared, and I love that is
not scared, not scared, and Ilove that.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
That is amazing.
So he wanted you.
This is so similar to like howI was introduced to it too,
because like my first boyfriend.
Yeah, I was on a dating app andI was like I have no intention
of being monogamous, like I'mnot fucking one dick yes,
literally I was like I'm notsettling for shit yeah, and he
was.
He must have been like oh, thatsounds promising, like maybe

(12:30):
she would like this kind ofrelationship right, and so he.
He was like he brought it up andthat's how he kind of brought
it up to me too, where he waslike I want you to still be able
to live this life that you'reliving, where you fucking all
these dudes and like but I wantto date you as well.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
And I was like what Right?
Like I'm like, hold on, because, see, the thing is is, if you
ask any of my best friends I'vebeen saying this for years I'm
like if only I could just havesomeone that could just love me
and let me just do my own thingand just know, like that they
can be secure in that and I canstill do my own thing.
Like why can't, why can't you?
And that was before I even knewthat this type of relationship

(13:13):
even existed.
And then, whenever it wasbrought to me, I was like this
is a setup, this, this issuspicious.
And so I kind of called hisbluff.
I was like, oh really, youthink you can handle this?

Speaker 2 (13:30):
I love that so much because that, like the way that
he way that that's introduced toa woman, is not like in a very
kink way.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
It's not a BDSM way, it's not it has to almost be
emotional yeah, it's not like Ireally want to watch you do this
and do this to me and I I can'tgive you what you need, it's
not objectifying and I I I feellike that could be a common
misconception that it's veryeasy for women specifically to

(14:00):
feel objectified by kinky talkor this type of dynamic, like
like kink dispensing orsomething like that.
But if it happens to excite you, then maybe you should dig a
little deeper and see if there'ssomething there for you.
That's kind of stoking the fireright, yeah, so when, okay.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
So he brought this up to you and you were like, were
like, oh my God, like what's thecatch?

Speaker 1 (14:26):
Truly, I was like what's the catch?

Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, that is such a common reaction that women have
where they're like.
This sounds too good to be true.
It can't be real.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Like when's the other shoe going to drop.
Like once I actually do this,you're going to be like hold up.
No, I changed my mind.
And then I'm going to be like,oh my God, you know, and feel
ashamed or something, when Ireally shouldn't, and I'm
thankful that it hasn't happened.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah, I mean, maybe we just naturally as women we go
, we go there in our mindsthinking like this is a trick,
like he must want to sleep withother women or something like
that, because it must havesomething to do with the fact
that we're kind of programmed tothink that everything has to be
equal and fair.
So if you're getting thisprivilege of being able to have

(15:14):
these other extra experienceswith other people, it would be
kind of mean to not allow yourpartner to do that.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
It is mean to not allow your partner to do that,
but that's kind of the fun of it, isn't it?

Speaker 2 (15:30):
I know it's so funny.
You say that because I'm likeit's the unfairness of it,
that's hot, it's a little fun.
It is like I'm getting this andyou're not kind of fun little
taunting, teasing thing.
That's a thing.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
That's a thing for us , that I'm getting this and
you're not.
That's definitely a thing.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
But at the same time it is so a two-way street, he's
getting so much out of it, eventhough he's somewhat denied.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
Well, something that I've said I've said this for a
very long time prior to thistype of lifestyle was a very
submissive type of person and mysexuality, as opposed to in
this dynamic, I'm much moredominant and I get to embody
that side of my personalitywhich is very, very there.
I'm very outspoken, I'm verybubbly, and so I kind of took on

(16:23):
more of the submissive dynamicprior to dynamic prior to.
And I've always told him thesubmissive truly has the power,
because they're the one that isgiving that to you and if they
say no, you have to stop, and sothey're the ones that kind of
hold that, that key to to thedoor you know that of that

(16:43):
expansion.
So it absolutely takes two andyou have to be willing to take
that opinion into all of it.
Mm, hmm.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
So interesting that you said this kind of
relationship has kind of broughtout the more dominant side in
you.
Or I did, and I found the samein my own experience.
It was just truly divine.
It nurtures the empowermentwithin you, yes, gives you
access to like a level ofconfidence I feel like it's it's

(17:18):
, it's brought me.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
I feel like I've kind of been stuck at the door of
this level of confidence and Icould kind of peek in through
the keyhole and like kind of seewhat was going on a little bit
there and he just like came inand was like this is okay, like
you can do this and still be agreat mother and still be a
great co-worker and still be agreat friend and still be a

(17:41):
great partner, and I could tearup thinking about it and still
be a you know all of that andstill have this satisfaction and
this connection.
That almost makes me feelalmost sad.
Like when I see other couples.
I'm like you should have this.
You just don't even know whatyou're missing out on.
Y'all Like my co-workers anytime.

(18:05):
I mean I have friends that youknow they say certain things
about, like you know theirrelationships and oh, he thinks
I'm talking to this person.
I'm like could never be me.
Y'all just don't know whaty'all could have and I don't.
I understand it's not foreveryone and I won't even say
that it takes a special personto do it, because it's not that

(18:28):
one is better than the other,but it takes a certain type of
mindset to be able to have thatlevel of trust and understanding
and loyalty, to be able toexplore the other side and know,
okay, this person is not goingto love anyone else or betray me

(18:51):
.
It's very multifaceted and it'sa learning process.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, so you guys jumped in right away.
This is fascinating to me.
He brought this up right away,but you started out as like the
stag vixen dynamic, I'm assumingbecause you said you were more
on like the submissive naturedside in the beginning and that's
where your comfort zone wasright which he does have a
dominant side to him as well.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
So in that way we can both kind of be a little
switchy, which I'm thankful for,because there's times that we
both cater to that certain side.
But overall I think he verymuch had an idea of how it was
going to go, just based off of,maybe, my answers and maybe him
having a better understanding ofthe lifestyle due to that being

(19:40):
things that he wanted toexplore.
You know, maybe he had I thinkhe had done a little bit more
research than I had at that time, but he was never pushy.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
So you guys jumped in very quickly and obviously this
seemed to fit like who you areand what you enjoy and stuff
like that.
But was there any downside tojumping in so quick together in
the beginning of yourrelationship?

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Honestly, I really can't think of anything, and
that's not to be too kind oranything, I'm really racking my
brain.
But I think that because thefact that him and I were so
upfront and direct about what wewere looking for, what excited
us, what we were seeking tobring out of ourselves and bring

(20:32):
out within a partnership, Ithink we kind of evaded a lot of
those negative aspects of it,which I know we're very lucky
for.
Something I will say which Ifeel like is probably a
commonality is that I feel likewe both have had like are you
sure that I'm not persuading youthat this is what you want,

(20:55):
that we're not, you know,pressuring each other and we
both are very much like no,that's not the case.
I would tell you, if I didn'twant to do it, we very much have
a.
We can call this off at anytime.

(21:15):
Either one of us, if one of us,said like no, we're done, we're
done, and that there's noquestion about it.
Like what caused this?
Who did it?
What?
Whose fault?
That's not the.
The issue and I think thattakes a lot of precedence and
they're not being negativitiesis we don't have a lot of who's
to blame or who's the root ofwhat we want to do this and we

(21:35):
are excited about it and eventhough I'm the one that kind of
narrates how it goes,necessarily it's definitely a
unified dynamic and I think thatalleviates a lot of the
negativities that you may findin this type of situation.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
What was it like when you first actually cucked him
or like slept with another guyor whatever like in your
relationship together?
What was that like for you?

Speaker 1 (22:06):
It was exhilarating, it was very surreal.
So our very first encounter wasprobably about a month after we
actually met in person.
We've been talking for a littlewhile.
We kind of had these ideas andI truly I tell him to this day
I'm like I really don't thinkthat you thought I would really

(22:27):
do like go for this.
And so I told him I was likeyou know, we're going to set
something up.
We got a hotel room.
It was around, it was aroundChristmas time, it was in
December, about two or threeyears, three years ago.
And you know, we got, we founda couple of people and there was
like two or three people thereand I mean I just, I mean I just

(22:48):
kind of let go of myinhibitions and by the end of it
we both were like yes, I wantthis.
It was just I can't evenexplain it.
It's hard to put words to it.
I mean truly I fell in lovewith this man.
He was like you can havewhatever you want and I'll love
you for it.
And I mean just I don't.
I'm sure that there's otherlike hot wives and cook holders

(23:11):
that can understand.
I'm sure you can like the lookin his face Like when he's like
holy shit, this is happeningLike this, you know, like you
know, just surrounded by you,getting like immersed in all of
this dick, and he's just likegetting like immersed in all of
this dick and he's just likeholy shit and it's great.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Was that his first time getting cucked ever?
Or yes, he had a girlfriendbefore.
Oh yes, wow, yes.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
So we both really he had these desires, but he these
desires were never acted upon orbrought to life before we
brought them to life.
So he likes to say there wasvery specific boxes that needed
to be checked and I happened tocheck them.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Oh, so you guys popped each other's cherry,
that's awesome.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Absolutely yes, we did.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
And afterwards I'm assuming, like you felt that
kind of cloud, nine hightogether, of like, oh my gosh
absolutely, and I feel like it'ssomething that we maintain,
which is amazing.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
I feel like it has such a, it brings such a
closeness and such a connectionthat's very, it's very deep it's
.
It's a vulnerability that isnot easy to do.
Even though I may make it soundeasy and you know it's Latin,
you know I'm laughing and andyou know, kind of chatting with
you it's definitely vulnerableand it's not easy to say, okay,

(24:45):
I'm gonna do this and just hopethat they'll be okay with it,
say, okay, I'm going to do thisand just hope that they'll be
okay with it, you know, and viceversa.
So I think that it's definitelyan exploration.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Yeah, I felt I feel like the kind of vulnerability
that you're talking about inwithin a cuckolding relationship
is it feels as uncomfortable,as like if you could imagine
like being emotionally naked infront of somebody, like quite,
yeah, difficult, but like worthit but absolutely worth it and I

(25:17):
would.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
I would say that any day, all day, to anyone that
would listen.
Yeah, truly, um, it's, it'ssomething you know, like you
said, it's not easy, it takessome work and it takes some
emotional vulnerability and kindof bearing it all, but the it's
very fruitful.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
Yeah, okay, so now you guys, you, so you jumped in
stag vixen, you've popped eachother's cuck cherry, you're just
all in.
This is amazing, this is great.
How has it evolved since then?

Speaker 1 (25:54):
since then it's evolved to more of a one-sided
open relationship where we, wepray, we play, um, you know,
pretty, I would say, at leastonce a month, as of right now.
Sometimes there areintermittent breaks, you know,
due to life in general, but weboth have very much decided that

(26:19):
we want to see where it goesand keep on exploring Um.
So we've talked about going, um, you know, to different um, um,
like keto and like splash mocha.
You know different things likethat and exploring, you know,
deeper into the lifestyle, whichI would love to do.

(26:40):
Both of those things, um, verymuch so, um, but it really we're
focused right now on justmaintaining balance of of this
aspect of our lives and oureveryday lives.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
That's that's probably what I would say is the
most important to me currentlyis is the balance, you know,
making sure that all of thoseother sides are heard, but we
still get to explore, you know,the fun side those other sides
are heard, but we still get toexplore, you know, the fun side
yeah, I've heard that from a lotof couples fairly new couples

(27:15):
in the lifestyle, ones whoreally jump in, you know,
headfirst, with gusto and butthat you need that maintaining
balance is a big challenge, orit can be a big challenge and
taking breaks is sometimesnecessary.
And I get that.
I mean it is very fun, it isvery thrilling, but it's only
part of real life.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Right Right, which we have explored multiple
different dynamics.
As far as you know, there was atime that we, you know, didn't,
we weren't really active and we, you know, we're a little more
celibate on both sides andreally focused on what we wanted
to grow within ourselves andeach other, outside of sexuality
.
And then, once we felt a littlemore secure in that, you know,

(27:57):
we felt comfortable to dive backin and that's really broadened
um our horizons.
As far as um what I've done andencounter experiences that I've
had, which is great.
Sorry, I was thinking I wasreminiscing on New Year's, which
was quite fun.

(28:17):
Did you have a really great timewith somebody on New Year's?
I did.
I did Multiple someones.
Actually we ended up lastminute getting a hotel room and
it was in the downtown area of alocal city.
They kind of have a fireworkshow and you know kind of stuff
going on and you know we hadn'tgone out in a while.

(28:37):
So I was really excited.
I got all dressed up and I havea regular friend who was
actually there at the cherrypopping.
He was actually one of thefirst people that I was with and
, and he's great, we've reallyboth become friends with him and
we got him to come out and gotsomeone else to come out.

(29:00):
I mean it was great.
We definitely marked some someDefinitely mark some checks off
the bucket list.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
Oh my God, that's awesome.
Sometimes, the most impromptuplay sessions are the best.
All right.
Now you've decided to have onlyBlack men as your lovers.
Is that correct?
You're now a queen of spades.
That is correct.
So was it like that from thebeginning, or no?

Speaker 1 (29:32):
No, it wasn't.
I didn't really have a lot ofpreferences because I hadn't
explored this dynamic.
I was pretty open and once westarted exploring, it turns out
I'm definitely a size queen, soblack guys tend to fit the bill
a little bit better.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
How did that happen?
How did you move into becominga queen of spades?
Was that something that youinitiated?
That was your idea, or was thissomething that your husband
wanted?

Speaker 1 (30:05):
I would say it was very mutual.
I don't.
I don't know that I can reallyremember who initiated it, but
I'm sure at one point or anotherone of us had mentioned it, and
I'm I'm definitely a bigger isbetter type of lady.
So I let him know that from thebeginning, which I mean he is

(30:30):
not small by any means, butstill it's not the same.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
I get it.
And so what?
How has that been for you?
I mean, other than just likesize being you know your size
queen, but like how's that beenfor you just having black bulls,
it's been very good.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Um, I'm, I'm very sexual, so I love giving head, I
love giving oral, I lovereceiving oral, like I could be
eaten out for hours, like Iabsolutely love that.
So I love, um, I like a littlebit of like the nasty freakiness
and I can get that a little bitmore in that dynamic which I

(31:13):
appreciate.
I just feel like my inhibitionsare a little a little more.
They're not so tight on me,they're a little more in the
background whenever I feel likeI can just kind of be myself and
not be so scrutinized.
I don't know, maybe that's themaybe that's part of the allure

(31:37):
is that I find a lot of blackbullies are really open to that
dynamic of cucking another guy.
They kind of get like amasculinity power trip out of it
sometimes which kind of turnsme off.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah, I know what you mean and with a lot of the
black guys that who I've met,I've asked them like how come
you really enjoy fucking whitewomen?
And so many have said that it'sbecause they, it's the white
women are just like so freakyand like so fun Like they're
like I can't get that with.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
I've been told that that I'm like very fun and very
freaky and I don't.
I don't necessarily feel likeI'm out of the box per se, but I
guess I don't have muchcomparison.
I just do what seems fun, and Imean maybe giving guys the head
in a parking lot across thestreet from the hotel is fun.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
Yep, I've been there too.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
I can't believe this is my life Living the dream
Really.
I can't believe this is my lifeLiving the dream Really.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
You've obviously had the opportunity to really first
to learn about this kind ofrelationship and it exists and
then to experience it yourselfand understand what the benefits
have been for you and for yourrelationship.
But it's what I have found tobe a little bit disappointing in
this lifestyle is how much ofit is so male driven and like so
the female not just the femaleperspective, but the female

(33:21):
fantasy aspect of the femaledesire.
Part of it is so muted, muffledor just not not existing in
some parts, not spoken on, yeah,and so like what do you think
needs to change?
Or or like how how do we fixthat Cause?
It's frustrating to me and itmust be for you too.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
It is.
It is frustrating to me and Ithink a lot of it has to do with
that feeling of security fromyour partner.
I think that's essential, whichyou've talked about before,
that women won't know about thisif you're not willing to kind
of put it out there that thistype of relationship is a
possibility for them.

(34:01):
A possibility for them.
I would say that's definitelyan integral aspect of me being
willing to be in this type ofdynamic or explore this type of
relationship, because I don'tknow that I would have ever felt
so confident in the moment tosay to a guy like hey, how would
you feel about this?
So it definitely eases it somewhen the man kind of approaches

(34:27):
it, but I understand how nervewracking that can be.
I think us, as you know,cuckoldresses, hot wives, you
know, in this lifestyle almosthave a duty to be a little more
outspoken about it, to kind ofhelp bridge the gap and and let
people say okay, if I say this,it's not so bad, I can still be

(34:53):
a good person, a good friend, agood parent, a good coworker,
you know, et cetera, et cetera,and but also I can still embrace
this side of my sexuality thatit excites me and brings me to a
deeper understanding of myselfthat I didn't think was possible
.
Everyone deserves that and itit's much deeper than just, oh,

(35:16):
hot, kinky, dirty sex Like it's.
That's not all of it, and Ithink that gets you know, such a
big screen over everything elseand everything else just kind
of falls to the preview statuswhen really it's not the case.
All of that, that background,is essential to being able to

(35:39):
explore that.
So I think us just being youknow, able and willing to talk
about it and share it and say,hey, you can explore this and
there are people out there thatlike this and you know you don't
have to settle is really theway.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
Yeah, you can have your cake and eat it too, if
that's what you want and whatyou would enjoy.
I know what you mean and I lovethe fact that you said that we
kind of have a duty to be ableto have to be more loud about
this than the guys, becausewe're just muffled or like it's
just quiet out there when itcomes to the women.
But I would say women arekilling it on OnlyFans.

(36:17):
When it comes to cuckoldingstuff, Like in that aspect,
women are loud and it is outthere and that is great and
everything like that.
But when it comes to havingthese real kind of honest
discussions about what it's beenlike for you know, the less
shiny, less sexy, less thrillingkind of aspect, of it, which is
the nurturing, which is therewarding, that kind of like

(36:41):
next level love, trust andconnection.
part of it.
That that's the part that Ithink women are speaking to.
That, like you said, likeeverything else, all the hot,
sexy, thrilling part just getslike it's so loud and it's so
out there and it's so maledriven but like and it's
attention.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
I mean you hear that and that's what you gravitate to
.
And it's so easy to gravitateto that just because it's not as
talked about relationship thatit exists, but also for the men.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
It's beneficial for more women.
It benefits them if more womenare out there learning about it,
being curious about it, notbeing judgmental about it,
understanding it from adifferent point of view, other
than the porn memes and the pornscripts yes, that's exactly it.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
It definitely takes a deeper understanding and
getting away from like thisstereotypical of what a cook
should be or what a cook is, asopposed to what it actually is.
I mean, my husband is a veryattractive man.
He very easily could get a datewhenever he wanted if he wanted
to.
He definitely has charisma todate, and whenever he wanted if

(38:07):
he wanted to, um, he definitelyhas charisma.
Um, you know.
So it's not.
It's not that type of dynamic,but it's also the dynamic that
his wife can get whoever shewants whenever she wants, and it
definitely falls into that hotwifing.
You know pride aspects of itthat that it doesn't have to be
dampening to your self-esteem tolike being a cuck.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
Yes, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you
about, because, when it comes tomisconceptions about this kind
of relationship, the fantasyaround or the desire, or that
kind of cuck angsty feelingaround, feeling like you're not
a good enough as a lover,therefore your wife needs to go

(38:50):
and have better dick that's likesuch a common theme and, and,
uh, like a lot of guys out there, just assume that that's the
motivation behind it for us,that you know, I don't.
You know I don't want to justfuck that one dick forever, but
I don't want to just fuck thatone dick forever.
It's not very good.
I need more, I need better.
That's not the case for a lotof women who I've spoken to.

(39:13):
This is more about, like yousaid, your husband.
He's attractive, he's sexy,he's fun, he's got charisma,
he's got game.
He's got game.
He's not small in size.
This isn't about him not beingenough.
This is about you having more,more.
Yes, yeah, not because it'sfrom a place of deficiency like

(39:35):
he's just he can't give you whatyou need.
It's from a place of abundance,yes, yes.
And so I want those people whoare listening right now to
understand that the motivationbehind why women want or love.
This kind of relationship iswide and varied and that this
cuckolding from an abundancekind of mindset is more common

(39:58):
and should be given more creditthan it's been given been given
Definitely.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
And to speak a little bit further into that is even
like the humiliation aspects arealso very similar, like there
are ways to go about thatwithout being dampening to your
self-esteem.
You know they're like in ourdynamic.
There's definitely like aspectsof humiliation beside, you know
, within the cuckolding, andeven still he's a confident man.

(40:32):
It's just, you know, he's weakwhen I'm embodying that, that
femininity, that power, thatthat just it just kind of takes
hold and goes on its own thingand it's just very powerful and
beautiful and he loves that andhe wants to embrace that and

(40:53):
help me embrace that.
And it's empowering and itmakes me see him as more of a
man and as a higher intellectuallevel.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
Yes, yeah.
Crystal Welch says cucks are ahigher life form.
That's what she said.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
Truly truly.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
Absolutely, she's right, and Dr Justin Lee Miller,
who wrote the book Tell Me whatyou Want, interviewed thousands
, or a lot of people in theUnited States regarding their
sexual fantasies, and what hefound was that for people who
desire or fantasize aboutcuckolding, they actually have
higher levels of self-esteemthan average people.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
I have read that yeah .

Speaker 2 (41:34):
This idea that cucks are weak and that they're trying
to make up for some lack ofconfidence is just absurd.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
I absolutely agree and I understand how that could
be stereotypical.
But I definitely want to helpjust kind of shatter that whole
stigma because, like I said, Imean in my experience which my
husband is the only man I'veever cucked and will be the only
man I've probably ever cucked Idon't plan on that, but I'm

(42:05):
sure that a lot of other womencan speak to this that their
pleasure is in you getting yourdeepest desires and feeling that
power and feeling thatconfidence and feeling like your
head is high and you're walkingin and that is just your room

(42:28):
and they're all there for youand you're the star.
You know that's what they want,they, they want they.
It's like a gift giving.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
acts of service, love , language such a pure four, I
know, and we're so lucky to havethem like so lucky.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Best I tell them all the time that I'm really the
lucky one.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Yeah, and that's see, that's what people don't
understand about this kind ofrelationship, because they can't
get past the unfairness part ofit.
They're like, but he doesn't,you know, that's so mean, he
doesn't get, and I'm verythankful for it.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
I said this to him today.
I was like you know, I'd befoolish to think that there
weren't women that flirted withyou or found you attractive, but
it's just not something thatcomes across my mind like people
finding me attractive.
I just know he wouldn'treciprocate, it wouldn't be

(43:22):
anything like that.
He truly has eyes for me and Iknow that, and that definitely
makes a difference.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Yeah, all right, we don't have a lot of time left
before we wrap up.
Is there any kind of like finalthoughts or things that you
want to talk about?

Speaker 1 (43:43):
I really I just I can't say enough how much I want
to get out there, how amazingthe dynamic is, not just on the
sexuality aspect but just on apersonal and emotional and
mental aspect of exploringyourself and finding those those
deeper things that maybe youdidn't think you would ever be

(44:04):
able to explore.
And being able to explore themwith someone else is just such a
fruitful gift that everyoneshould be so lucky to have, and
I'm just overwhelmed with theopportunities that it's brought
to me.
I really can do nothing butadvocate for it and I just want

(44:27):
to bring educational awarenessand unbiased awareness to how
great it can be on both sides,you know, for men and for women,
and how you can.
You can truly have it all.
It doesn't mean that your lifehas to be filled with sex crazed
fantasies.
You can still do your everydaylife, but you can explore this

(44:52):
side of yourself without feelingashamed.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
Are you going to be writing a blog?

Speaker 1 (44:59):
I am, I am working on a blog.
It will be probably coming out,hopefully by the end of the
month is what I'm aiming for andit's really going to be based
on a lot of what I was saying,just a lot of female perspective
, a lot of educational awarenessand, you know, sharing my
experiences and putting it outthere for what you know what

(45:22):
type of fun can be had.
I want to explore some of therisque sides of, you know,
storytelling and maybe not saferwork sides of storytelling, but
I want to help women and menfeel comfortable and as embodied
as I feel comfortable and asembodied as I feel, all right.

(45:51):
Before we go.
Where can people learn moreabout you?
Currently I have a Twitteraccount, which is Life of a Hot
Wife, and definitely no whiteguys, only black guys are
allowed to DM me.
It's in my bio, so just read it.
I have plenty that are like oh,can I be your cook?

(46:12):
Oh, will you make an exceptionfor me?
I'm so sorry.
No, if that makes me mean thatjust fits the repertoire right.

Speaker 2 (46:19):
Oh my God, I know, I know, but at some point we have
to get you on on blue sky,because I'm not even on Twitter
anymore and it's okay, I'll haveto make the move.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
I'll make it for you.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, thank you so much forcoming on the show and sharing
your story.
It's been so great to get toknow you, ruby, thank you.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
Thank you so much, Venus.
I appreciate the opportunity.
It was such a pleasure.
I enjoyed it so much.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
That's going to be it for today's episode.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Make sure you go tovenuscuckoldresscom.
That's where you can book aprivate chat with me, and you
can also join the QueensQuarters community and get all
the amazing benefits, like theprivate podcast and the helpful
Cuck tier, where you can get keyholding for the private

(47:12):
Snapchat group, monthly privatechats with me and weekly live
hangouts and invites to speciallive events.
Oh, and you can also submit aquestion or a confession for the
show.
Just go to venuscuckledresscomand click on the link that says
the podcast.
Make sure you follow me on BlueSky Social.

(47:33):
Yes, I said Blue Sky Social.
Fuck Twitter.
My handle there is atCuckoldress V.
All right, that's it fortoday's show.
You guys, we'll see you nexttime.
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