March 25, 2025 • 18 mins
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell & VA Disability: What Veterans Need to Know
Episode Overview
In this episode, we dive into the impact of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) policy on veterans and their VA disability claims. We’ll discuss how the repeal of DADT has affected veteran benefits, what LGBTQ+ veterans need to know about filing for VA disability, and how past discharges related to sexual orientation may impact claims today.
What We Cover:
✅ The history of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and its repeal
✅ How DADT-related discharges affect VA benefits
✅ VA disability benefits available to veterans impacted by DADT
✅ Legal and advocacy resources for affected veterans
Connect With Us:
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📩 Have questions? Email us at info@prestigeveteranmctx.com
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Leah Bucholz (00:07):
Hey, guys. It's Leah B from Prestige Veteran
Medical Consulting. I'm a USArmy veteran physician assistant
and former compensation andpension examiner. So today we're
going to talk to Rebecca Demingfrom ProVet Legal, and we're
going to cover an issue or atopic that a lot of veterans
have experience with due totheir time in the military and
sort of some biases that havehappened over the years, and
(00:29):
it's specifically related to thedon't ask, don't tell policy
that was in effect for manyyears that got turned around and
how that can be related to VAdisability benefits. So before
we jump in, I wanna introduceRebecca again for those of you
guys that don't know her.
Again, she's from ProVet Legal,a firm out of Florida. Great
team representing veterans.Rebecca, can you tell the
(00:51):
viewers a little bit aboutyourself if they don't know you
already?
Rebecca Deming (00:54):
Sure. Thanks, Leah. Rebecca Deming. I own
ProVet Legal. We're based inFlorida, but we can represent
veterans all over the countryand worldwide, and we focus
exclusively on VA disabilitybenefits.
I worked, I spent probably tenyears of my career working
parallel to and with military intraining and overseas in
(01:20):
Afghanistan and Africa and NATOforces in Germany. And then got
into VA disability law when myhusband retired from the Navy.
So anyway, excited to be hereand this is an interesting topic
and we may end up having morepodcasts that come out of this
one. I don't know if I'll beable to pack everything into
(01:43):
Sure. The amount of time weusually spend talking in in one
episode.
Leah Bucholz (01:48):
For sure. So let's just jump right in. So can you
talk about for those mostviewers have heard of Don't Ask,
Don't Tell or DAVT, But forthose that may be unfamiliar or
it's been a while since they'vethought about this, can you just
explain what the don't ask,don't tell policy was?
Rebecca Deming (02:05):
Sure. So prior to the don't ask, don't tell
policy so Don't Ask, Don't Tellpolicy was a policy that came
into place because there was apolicy before that outright
prohibited people from beingengaging in homosexual activity
in the military. And if if yourcommand suspected you of
(02:26):
homosexual activity, they couldinvestigate and they could
discharge you based on suspectedproclivities, whether you
engaged or not. I mean, somepeople refer to it as the witch
hunt era. So Don't Ask, Don'tTell came into effect.
I believe it was under Clinton.It was 1993. And it was supposed
(02:48):
to kind of, it did alleviatesome of that. It was supposed to
help the LGBTQ community, thehomosexual community. So
basically, if you don't tell usabout your sexual orientation,
what you do on your free time isyour free time, Keep it to
yourself.
We're not going to investigate.So that's what the policy was.
(03:09):
That was in place all the way upuntil 2011. It was September of
twenty eleven when Obamarepealed don't ask, don't tell.
But that policy was in place fora long time.
And then the progeny before itwas in place for a long time
before that. So people whoserved under those policies
definitely felt their impacts.
Leah Bucholz (03:28):
Sure, sure. There was a lot of, and we're going
get into this. There were a lotof people that were discharged
from the military, as youmentioned, and and that's gonna
kinda be the basis of some ofour case studies that we might
talk about here in the nextcouple minutes as well. So how
did the DADT policy affectveterans seeking disability
benefits, or how does it? Howhas it?
Rebecca Deming (03:52):
I think there's a few ways that it affected
people. I think in general, it'sjust important to recognize the
emotional impact of having thatpolicy on people. When you're in
the military, it is stressful,deployments are stressful,
relocations, TDYs, permanentchange of station, all of those
(04:15):
things are stressful on amilitary family. That's when I
say military family, I mean afamily that's recognized by the
military. So you get orders tobring your dependents with you.
If you have to keep half of yourprivate life private and you're
getting an order to deploy, butyour significant other is not
able to communicate with thecommand ombudsman. They're not
(04:37):
going to get notice that ifsomething happens to you, if you
get moved, there's no orders forthem to come with you. There's
the Military Spouse ResidencyRelief Act. So which is huge and
now nowadays there's even moreefforts to help with licensing
issues for military spouses. Butthere's a lot of stuff in place
(05:00):
that is supposed to alleviatesome of those stresses on
military spouses.
If you have a significant otherwho the DoD isn't able to
recognize and that you have tokeep secret from your command
because you can't share thatcause a lot of stress. So
there's what whether it's PTSDor other specified stressor and
trauma related disorder ordepression, anxiety, from having
(05:20):
to keep a whole part of yourpersonality and your family life
separate from your work life. Wesee a lot of people who have
experienced that because Don'tAsk, Don't Tell was repealed in
2011, but it was in place for along time. People who served
during that time may not havefiled a claim right away because
(05:41):
they couldn't under, you know,was don't ask, don't tell, you
don't tell us that this is thestuff that's bothering you. The
other way that it's kind of the,I think a lot of people don't
think about is the victims ofmilitary sexual trauma.
If it was a homosexual act, soyou have a man on a man, whether
(06:03):
or not the victim, whatever thesexual orientation of the victim
is, especially prior to Don'tAsk Don't Tell, where they
could, if we suspect that youasked for it or we suspect the
victim blaming, victim shamingwas a lot more real. But even
under Don't Ask Don't Tell, Ithink a lot of people felt like
(06:24):
if they came forward and said,well, I was at this party and
this thing happened and I gotattacked, know, it might be
perceived as telling that theyengaged. It's not just what is
your sexual orientation, but didyou engage in or have a
proclivity to engage inhomosexual acts? So I think a
(06:45):
lot of people kept a lot ofstuff bottled up. And as we
know, starting claims yearsafter you completed service has
a whole another level ofdifficulty improving what
happened in service, provingcontinuity of symptoms or a
relation or nexus to service.
People may not have gottentreatment right away.
Leah Bucholz (07:04):
Sure. And just, you know, in general,
culturally, things have justevolved over the years. And, you
know, just the fact that manypeople had to keep their
identity or their preferencesjust completely secret, that has
major psychiatric implications.And we have, in fact, together
(07:29):
dealt with a few cases ofveterans that have been
discharged due to DADT and howthat impacted them and how they
had to, you know, I think thatspeaks volumes just for itself.
And so, are a lot of claims thatrequire, you know, in service
evidence, but there, to me,that's a marker in and of
(07:49):
itself.
Like, it's self explanatory thatyou had to do all of these
things. So, I think that thereshould be a lot of leeway for
veterans that had to deal withsome of these things when it
comes to, you know, obviously,not everybody is gonna be, you
know, have a psychiatric impactfor this, but it should be
fairly straightforward, in myopinion, okay? There's a lot of
(08:12):
research out there that supportslongstanding mental health
conditions related to, you know,what a lot of these veterans had
to go through. So, I guess, arethere unique challenges for this
community of veterans in thedisability claims process?
Rebecca Deming (08:33):
I think, like you said, I think now that the
system is probably set up tohelp veterans with LGBTQ
veterans who served under Don'tAsk, Don't Tell or around that
time. That said, I think as asociety in general, there are
going be biases. You're going torun into C and P examiners or
(08:55):
rating officers who don'tunderstand or that you know they
look at your record and they saywell you weren't married. I
think one of the biggest ones isgoing to be if you didn't treat
for stuff in service because youcan't go to a command
psychiatrist for marital issuesif you can't tell them that
you're married or that you're ina domestic relationship. So I
(09:18):
think some of that, there isstill going to be some friction
about proving in service events.
Although I think you're rightthat the fact that someone who
either was a victim of militarysexual trauma or was in the
LGBTQ community during Don'tAsk, Don't Tell. I think there's
(09:38):
going to be ample markers. It'sjust going to be working with an
accredited claims representativeor an attorney or a VSO to help
document those markers to showthat something happened.
Leah Bucholz (09:48):
So what about veterans that were actually
discharged under DADT? Like, canthey receive benefits? Like, if
it's annotated on their and Idon't really recall. I think
I've seen a few things. Therecan be specifically codes on the
DD two fourteen that thatdemonstrates, hey.
This is why they weredischarged. Right? Right.
Rebecca Deming (10:09):
Yes. So I have seen DD two fourteens that say
reason for discharge, homosexualactivity or homosexual
orientation. And so in the past,what they would have to do is go
through a process to do adischarge upgrade and that would
(10:29):
be relatively simple. Mean, thesystem is is pretty clear now
that that's not a reason fordischarge anymore. And so if
you're discharged under Don'tAsk Don't Tell or prior to Don't
Ask Don't Tell because of yoursexual orientation, you can get
your discharge upgraded.
I believe recently there was athey overturned that you don't
even they're going toautomatically go through and
(10:51):
they're going to I don't know ifthey're going to automatically
do it or it's just anyone whoapplies is automatically going
to get granted the approveddischarge upgrade. So I don't
anticipate reason for discharge.If the reason for discharge had
anything to do with sexualorientation, I don't anticipate
that being a barrier goingforward.
Leah Bucholz (11:10):
So how has the repeal of DADT impacted veterans
today?
Rebecca Deming (11:19):
I mean, I know you
Leah Bucholz (11:19):
couldn't answer this, but Yeah.
Rebecca Deming (11:23):
I I mean, if you never served under don't ask,
don't tell, I mean, I think it'sthe same, You know, being a
minority in any section, know,there's going to be segments of
society that there's frictionthat you're not going fit in and
that kind of stuff and that cancause issues. In terms of the
(11:44):
repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell,I think Don't Ask, Don't Tell
was an incremental change fromthe prior regulations that flat
out allowed people to search outpeople with homosexual
orientation and discharge themfor that. So I think because it
was kind of incremental, there'sa little bit of a disbelief
(12:06):
that, you know, okay, now thatit's repealed, can I really file
a claim? Am I allowed to file aclaim? A lot of people will not
file a claim because they'llsay, I never treated for it in
service, so how can I ever proveit?
And they don't realize thatthere's other ways to show, like
you said, you mentioned markers.Markers is a term that VA uses
(12:26):
in the military sexual traumafield in general, not
necessarily whether it's LGBTQ,homosexual, straight, whatever
military sexual trauma. Theyrealize that with a lot of
sexual abuse, sexual traumaticevents, people don't report for
a number of reasons.Statistically, it's very
(12:48):
underreported. And so they lookfor what they call markers.
So evidence other evidence thatsomething happened around the
time that you say the incidenthappened. So were you on the
Sailor of the Year track andthen all of a sudden you didn't
get promoted and you got put onextra duties and like something
(13:12):
changed. So you right around thetime that you say that this
incident happened. So that'swhat they're talking about in
markers is, is there otherevidence in your record or other
ways that we can prove thatsomething happened around the
time that you say youexperienced this trauma?
Leah Bucholz (13:29):
Sure, yeah. And also, you know, buddy statements
can sometimes be helpful frompeople that knew you at that
time and, you know, maybe aformer relationship that you
had, a family member that knewwhat you were going through and
things like that, I'm sure canbe helpful in some
circumstances. So what resourcesare available for the LGBTQ
(13:50):
community for veteransnavigating the VA system?
Rebecca Deming (14:00):
So, veterans, LGBTQ veterans can reach out to
their VSOs, they can reach outto accredited claims agents and
attorneys, and they should beable to get the same support as
any other veteran. Like any, youknow, choosing a representative,
like any relationship, if youfeel like you don't mesh with
someone or that they don'tunderstand or not asking the
(14:22):
right questions, You caninterview several
representatives before youchoose one. You can potentially
switch representatives if youdon't feel like the person is
really understanding orsupportive of showing what you
went through.
Leah Bucholz (14:44):
Yeah so what advice would you give to the
LGBTQ community veterans whofeel hesitant about seeking to
come on benefits?
Rebecca Deming (14:58):
I would, you know, anyone who's hesitant
about seeking benefits, thebenefit process can be
stressful. And sometimes youhave to dig up painful memories,
painful experiences to get yourbenefits. I would say it is
(15:20):
usually for most of the people Iwork with, it's worth going
through it because when you comeout on the other end and you get
those benefits, you're going tobe better off. Your life is
going be easier. It kind ofgives a cushion so it doesn't
necessarily make everythingbetter, make everything go away.
But having that cushion allowsyou the time, the space to get
the treatment or the space tokind of heal what you need to
(15:41):
heal. That said, for somepeople, the money of getting the
benefits is not worth having torelive and reopen some of those
wounds. And so that's a verypersonal decision. And it's
something you might want to talkto a representative about, talk
to your family about, meditateon. But I would say for most
(16:03):
people it is worth going throughthat pain.
I'm not going to discount thepain of having to talk to
multiple C and P examiners aboutwhat you went through and
reestablishing that somethingactually happened and you're not
just making it up.
Leah Bucholz (16:21):
Yeah. Be brave, friends. That's what I always
say when we have to deal withsome of these really difficult
things, whether it's thisparticular situation or any
other one that that brings backsome of these, you know, really
heavy feelings and emotions, bebrave. You know, do do what is
best for you and your yourpersonal situation, but my Leah
(16:43):
B's personal perspective is totry to be brave and push through
it so that you can get the helpand support that you need. So I
hope that today's video washelpful.
Like I said, this is this ismore common than you would
think. Rebecca and I have workedwith a couple of veterans who
were able to get serviceconnection for mental health
conditions related to some ofthese things that they
experienced. So I hope this hastouched the lives of some
(17:05):
veterans out there who may bestruggling with this and the
decision to pursue somethinglike this. And if you have any
questions, Rebecca is anaccredited VA attorney. Like we
said, I'm gonna drop her websitein the comments for you guys to
reach out to her anytime.
We always appreciate youwatching, and please let us know
if you have any questionsregarding this or anything else.
(17:27):
And Rebecca, do you haveanything else to say to our
viewers? Oh, I think I think welost you for a second, Rebecca.
Rebecca Deming (17:40):
How about now?
Leah Bucholz (17:41):
I gotcha. Okay, you're back. Okay,
Rebecca Deming (17:43):
perfect. I was just going say, you know, VA
does have some personnel, havesome additional training and
some additional resources.They're training specific
personnel to handle LGBTQ issuesand MST issues. So, your claim
should be routed to somebodywho's at least gone through some
basic additional training tohave some additional
sensitivities. But that said, itcan be challenging and talk to
(18:09):
your therapist, talk to yoursupport network about whether
it's the right decision to goforward.
But I do think that most of thepeople who decide to go forward
with it end up better on theother side.
Leah Bucholz (18:18):
Agree, agree. All right, well thank you again for
being here and thanks forwatching everybody and we'll
talk to you guys soon. ThanksLeah. Thanks.
Hey, guys. It's Leah B from Prestige Veteran
Medical Consulting. I'm a USArmy veteran physician assistant
and former compensation andpension examiner. So today we're
going to talk to Rebecca Demingfrom ProVet Legal, and we're
going to cover an issue or atopic that a lot of veterans
have experience with due totheir time in the military and
sort of some biases that havehappened over the years, and
(00:29):
it's specifically related to thedon't ask, don't tell policy
that was in effect for manyyears that got turned around and
how that can be related to VAdisability benefits. So before
we jump in, I wanna introduceRebecca again for those of you
guys that don't know her.
Again, she's from ProVet Legal,a firm out of Florida. Great
team representing veterans.Rebecca, can you tell the
(00:51):
viewers a little bit aboutyourself if they don't know you
already?
Rebecca Deming (00:54):
Sure. Thanks, Leah. Rebecca Deming. I own
ProVet Legal. We're based inFlorida, but we can represent
veterans all over the countryand worldwide, and we focus
exclusively on VA disabilitybenefits.
I worked, I spent probably tenyears of my career working
parallel to and with military intraining and overseas in
(01:20):
Afghanistan and Africa and NATOforces in Germany. And then got
into VA disability law when myhusband retired from the Navy.
So anyway, excited to be hereand this is an interesting topic
and we may end up having morepodcasts that come out of this
one. I don't know if I'll beable to pack everything into
(01:43):
Sure. The amount of time weusually spend talking in in one
episode.
Leah Bucholz (01:48):
For sure. So let's just jump right in. So can you
talk about for those mostviewers have heard of Don't Ask,
Don't Tell or DAVT, But forthose that may be unfamiliar or
it's been a while since they'vethought about this, can you just
explain what the don't ask,don't tell policy was?
Rebecca Deming (02:05):
Sure. So prior to the don't ask, don't tell
policy so Don't Ask, Don't Tellpolicy was a policy that came
into place because there was apolicy before that outright
prohibited people from beingengaging in homosexual activity
in the military. And if if yourcommand suspected you of
(02:26):
homosexual activity, they couldinvestigate and they could
discharge you based on suspectedproclivities, whether you
engaged or not. I mean, somepeople refer to it as the witch
hunt era. So Don't Ask, Don'tTell came into effect.
I believe it was under Clinton.It was 1993. And it was supposed
(02:48):
to kind of, it did alleviatesome of that. It was supposed to
help the LGBTQ community, thehomosexual community. So
basically, if you don't tell usabout your sexual orientation,
what you do on your free time isyour free time, Keep it to
yourself.
We're not going to investigate.So that's what the policy was.
(03:09):
That was in place all the way upuntil 2011. It was September of
twenty eleven when Obamarepealed don't ask, don't tell.
But that policy was in place fora long time.
And then the progeny before itwas in place for a long time
before that. So people whoserved under those policies
definitely felt their impacts.
Leah Bucholz (03:28):
Sure, sure. There was a lot of, and we're going
get into this. There were a lotof people that were discharged
from the military, as youmentioned, and and that's gonna
kinda be the basis of some ofour case studies that we might
talk about here in the nextcouple minutes as well. So how
did the DADT policy affectveterans seeking disability
benefits, or how does it? Howhas it?
Rebecca Deming (03:52):
I think there's a few ways that it affected
people. I think in general, it'sjust important to recognize the
emotional impact of having thatpolicy on people. When you're in
the military, it is stressful,deployments are stressful,
relocations, TDYs, permanentchange of station, all of those
(04:15):
things are stressful on amilitary family. That's when I
say military family, I mean afamily that's recognized by the
military. So you get orders tobring your dependents with you.
If you have to keep half of yourprivate life private and you're
getting an order to deploy, butyour significant other is not
able to communicate with thecommand ombudsman. They're not
(04:37):
going to get notice that ifsomething happens to you, if you
get moved, there's no orders forthem to come with you. There's
the Military Spouse ResidencyRelief Act. So which is huge and
now nowadays there's even moreefforts to help with licensing
issues for military spouses. Butthere's a lot of stuff in place
(05:00):
that is supposed to alleviatesome of those stresses on
military spouses.
If you have a significant otherwho the DoD isn't able to
recognize and that you have tokeep secret from your command
because you can't share thatcause a lot of stress. So
there's what whether it's PTSDor other specified stressor and
trauma related disorder ordepression, anxiety, from having
(05:20):
to keep a whole part of yourpersonality and your family life
separate from your work life. Wesee a lot of people who have
experienced that because Don'tAsk, Don't Tell was repealed in
2011, but it was in place for along time. People who served
during that time may not havefiled a claim right away because
(05:41):
they couldn't under, you know,was don't ask, don't tell, you
don't tell us that this is thestuff that's bothering you. The
other way that it's kind of the,I think a lot of people don't
think about is the victims ofmilitary sexual trauma.
If it was a homosexual act, soyou have a man on a man, whether
(06:03):
or not the victim, whatever thesexual orientation of the victim
is, especially prior to Don'tAsk Don't Tell, where they
could, if we suspect that youasked for it or we suspect the
victim blaming, victim shamingwas a lot more real. But even
under Don't Ask Don't Tell, Ithink a lot of people felt like
(06:24):
if they came forward and said,well, I was at this party and
this thing happened and I gotattacked, know, it might be
perceived as telling that theyengaged. It's not just what is
your sexual orientation, but didyou engage in or have a
proclivity to engage inhomosexual acts? So I think a
(06:45):
lot of people kept a lot ofstuff bottled up. And as we
know, starting claims yearsafter you completed service has
a whole another level ofdifficulty improving what
happened in service, provingcontinuity of symptoms or a
relation or nexus to service.
People may not have gottentreatment right away.
Leah Bucholz (07:04):
Sure. And just, you know, in general,
culturally, things have justevolved over the years. And, you
know, just the fact that manypeople had to keep their
identity or their preferencesjust completely secret, that has
major psychiatric implications.And we have, in fact, together
(07:29):
dealt with a few cases ofveterans that have been
discharged due to DADT and howthat impacted them and how they
had to, you know, I think thatspeaks volumes just for itself.
And so, are a lot of claims thatrequire, you know, in service
evidence, but there, to me,that's a marker in and of
(07:49):
itself.
Like, it's self explanatory thatyou had to do all of these
things. So, I think that thereshould be a lot of leeway for
veterans that had to deal withsome of these things when it
comes to, you know, obviously,not everybody is gonna be, you
know, have a psychiatric impactfor this, but it should be
fairly straightforward, in myopinion, okay? There's a lot of
(08:12):
research out there that supportslongstanding mental health
conditions related to, you know,what a lot of these veterans had
to go through. So, I guess, arethere unique challenges for this
community of veterans in thedisability claims process?
Rebecca Deming (08:33):
I think, like you said, I think now that the
system is probably set up tohelp veterans with LGBTQ
veterans who served under Don'tAsk, Don't Tell or around that
time. That said, I think as asociety in general, there are
going be biases. You're going torun into C and P examiners or
(08:55):
rating officers who don'tunderstand or that you know they
look at your record and they saywell you weren't married. I
think one of the biggest ones isgoing to be if you didn't treat
for stuff in service because youcan't go to a command
psychiatrist for marital issuesif you can't tell them that
you're married or that you're ina domestic relationship. So I
(09:18):
think some of that, there isstill going to be some friction
about proving in service events.
Although I think you're rightthat the fact that someone who
either was a victim of militarysexual trauma or was in the
LGBTQ community during Don'tAsk, Don't Tell. I think there's
(09:38):
going to be ample markers. It'sjust going to be working with an
accredited claims representativeor an attorney or a VSO to help
document those markers to showthat something happened.
Leah Bucholz (09:48):
So what about veterans that were actually
discharged under DADT? Like, canthey receive benefits? Like, if
it's annotated on their and Idon't really recall. I think
I've seen a few things. Therecan be specifically codes on the
DD two fourteen that thatdemonstrates, hey.
This is why they weredischarged. Right? Right.
Rebecca Deming (10:09):
Yes. So I have seen DD two fourteens that say
reason for discharge, homosexualactivity or homosexual
orientation. And so in the past,what they would have to do is go
through a process to do adischarge upgrade and that would
(10:29):
be relatively simple. Mean, thesystem is is pretty clear now
that that's not a reason fordischarge anymore. And so if
you're discharged under Don'tAsk Don't Tell or prior to Don't
Ask Don't Tell because of yoursexual orientation, you can get
your discharge upgraded.
I believe recently there was athey overturned that you don't
even they're going toautomatically go through and
(10:51):
they're going to I don't know ifthey're going to automatically
do it or it's just anyone whoapplies is automatically going
to get granted the approveddischarge upgrade. So I don't
anticipate reason for discharge.If the reason for discharge had
anything to do with sexualorientation, I don't anticipate
that being a barrier goingforward.
Leah Bucholz (11:10):
So how has the repeal of DADT impacted veterans
today?
Rebecca Deming (11:19):
I mean, I know you
Leah Bucholz (11:19):
couldn't answer this, but Yeah.
Rebecca Deming (11:23):
I I mean, if you never served under don't ask,
don't tell, I mean, I think it'sthe same, You know, being a
minority in any section, know,there's going to be segments of
society that there's frictionthat you're not going fit in and
that kind of stuff and that cancause issues. In terms of the
(11:44):
repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell,I think Don't Ask, Don't Tell
was an incremental change fromthe prior regulations that flat
out allowed people to search outpeople with homosexual
orientation and discharge themfor that. So I think because it
was kind of incremental, there'sa little bit of a disbelief
(12:06):
that, you know, okay, now thatit's repealed, can I really file
a claim? Am I allowed to file aclaim? A lot of people will not
file a claim because they'llsay, I never treated for it in
service, so how can I ever proveit?
And they don't realize thatthere's other ways to show, like
you said, you mentioned markers.Markers is a term that VA uses
(12:26):
in the military sexual traumafield in general, not
necessarily whether it's LGBTQ,homosexual, straight, whatever
military sexual trauma. Theyrealize that with a lot of
sexual abuse, sexual traumaticevents, people don't report for
a number of reasons.Statistically, it's very
(12:48):
underreported. And so they lookfor what they call markers.
So evidence other evidence thatsomething happened around the
time that you say the incidenthappened. So were you on the
Sailor of the Year track andthen all of a sudden you didn't
get promoted and you got put onextra duties and like something
(13:12):
changed. So you right around thetime that you say that this
incident happened. So that'swhat they're talking about in
markers is, is there otherevidence in your record or other
ways that we can prove thatsomething happened around the
time that you say youexperienced this trauma?
Leah Bucholz (13:29):
Sure, yeah. And also, you know, buddy statements
can sometimes be helpful frompeople that knew you at that
time and, you know, maybe aformer relationship that you
had, a family member that knewwhat you were going through and
things like that, I'm sure canbe helpful in some
circumstances. So what resourcesare available for the LGBTQ
(13:50):
community for veteransnavigating the VA system?
Rebecca Deming (14:00):
So, veterans, LGBTQ veterans can reach out to
their VSOs, they can reach outto accredited claims agents and
attorneys, and they should beable to get the same support as
any other veteran. Like any, youknow, choosing a representative,
like any relationship, if youfeel like you don't mesh with
someone or that they don'tunderstand or not asking the
(14:22):
right questions, You caninterview several
representatives before youchoose one. You can potentially
switch representatives if youdon't feel like the person is
really understanding orsupportive of showing what you
went through.
Leah Bucholz (14:44):
Yeah so what advice would you give to the
LGBTQ community veterans whofeel hesitant about seeking to
come on benefits?
Rebecca Deming (14:58):
I would, you know, anyone who's hesitant
about seeking benefits, thebenefit process can be
stressful. And sometimes youhave to dig up painful memories,
painful experiences to get yourbenefits. I would say it is
(15:20):
usually for most of the people Iwork with, it's worth going
through it because when you comeout on the other end and you get
those benefits, you're going tobe better off. Your life is
going be easier. It kind ofgives a cushion so it doesn't
necessarily make everythingbetter, make everything go away.
But having that cushion allowsyou the time, the space to get
the treatment or the space tokind of heal what you need to
(15:41):
heal. That said, for somepeople, the money of getting the
benefits is not worth having torelive and reopen some of those
wounds. And so that's a verypersonal decision. And it's
something you might want to talkto a representative about, talk
to your family about, meditateon. But I would say for most
(16:03):
people it is worth going throughthat pain.
I'm not going to discount thepain of having to talk to
multiple C and P examiners aboutwhat you went through and
reestablishing that somethingactually happened and you're not
just making it up.
Leah Bucholz (16:21):
Yeah. Be brave, friends. That's what I always
say when we have to deal withsome of these really difficult
things, whether it's thisparticular situation or any
other one that that brings backsome of these, you know, really
heavy feelings and emotions, bebrave. You know, do do what is
best for you and your yourpersonal situation, but my Leah
(16:43):
B's personal perspective is totry to be brave and push through
it so that you can get the helpand support that you need. So I
hope that today's video washelpful.
Like I said, this is this ismore common than you would
think. Rebecca and I have workedwith a couple of veterans who
were able to get serviceconnection for mental health
conditions related to some ofthese things that they
experienced. So I hope this hastouched the lives of some
(17:05):
veterans out there who may bestruggling with this and the
decision to pursue somethinglike this. And if you have any
questions, Rebecca is anaccredited VA attorney. Like we
said, I'm gonna drop her websitein the comments for you guys to
reach out to her anytime.
We always appreciate youwatching, and please let us know
if you have any questionsregarding this or anything else.
(17:27):
And Rebecca, do you haveanything else to say to our
viewers? Oh, I think I think welost you for a second, Rebecca.
Rebecca Deming (17:40):
How about now?
Leah Bucholz (17:41):
I gotcha. Okay, you're back. Okay,
Rebecca Deming (17:43):
perfect. I was just going say, you know, VA
does have some personnel, havesome additional training and
some additional resources.They're training specific
personnel to handle LGBTQ issuesand MST issues. So, your claim
should be routed to somebodywho's at least gone through some
basic additional training tohave some additional
sensitivities. But that said, itcan be challenging and talk to
(18:09):
your therapist, talk to yoursupport network about whether
it's the right decision to goforward.
But I do think that most of thepeople who decide to go forward
with it end up better on theother side.
Leah Bucholz (18:18):
Agree, agree. All right, well thank you again for
being here and thanks forwatching everybody and we'll
talk to you guys soon. ThanksLeah. Thanks.
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