Daphne Uter, Founder and CEO of the One Life to Live Foundation, joins us to share her inspiring journey and the heartfelt mission of her nonprofit organization, rooted in a powerful family legacy. Journeying from Haiti to the United States, her life has been a tapestry of service, from her days in the United States Navy to her impactful work with the West Palm Beach VA Medical Center. Discover how her foundation, named in honor of her late aunt's wisdom, "you only have one life to live," champions the holistic wellness of women, veterans, and caregivers of wounded veterans.
We navigate the often turbulent waters nonprofits face when it comes to funding, particularly those supporting caregivers. Daphne offers insight into how her organization overcomes these challenges through creative fundraising approaches like crowdfunding and strategic partnerships. The story of a caregiver for an army veteran with dementia poignantly illustrates the profound impact and necessity of the foundation’s work. We also explore the concept of "friendraisers" versus traditional fundraising, emphasizing the importance of community and collaboration, especially during their main annual fundraiser in October, aligning with National Caregivers Month.
The conversation broadens to highlight the critical need for self-care among women veterans and caregivers, who often juggle numerous responsibilities. Daphne discusses how the foundation fosters a sense of belonging and community, underscoring the importance of self-care activities for all caregivers. The episode wraps up with an invitation to connect and collaborate on future initiatives, highlighting the transformative power of sharing stories within the veteran community. Don't miss the chance to learn from Daphne's unwavering dedication and the invaluable lessons her foundation offers to support those who serve and care for others.
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Episode Transcript
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Scott McLean (00:00):
Welcome to the podcast.
I'm Scott McLean.
My guest today is Daphne Uter.
Daphne is the CEO of the OneLife to Live Foundation, located
in West Palm Beach, florida.
The One Life to Live Foundationis a very unique nonprofit, if
you ask me, and I've beendealing with nonprofits for a
while now.
(00:20):
Their mission is to support,inspire and educate women,
veterans, spouses and caregiversof wounded veterans by offering
a day of respite and retreatdedicated to their personal
holistic wellness.
That I can relate to, but we'lleither get into that or we
won't.
But, daphne, how are you today?
Daphnee Uter (00:42):
I am doing good.
Thank you for having me heretoday.
Scott McLean (00:45):
Oh, it's my pleasure.
It's my pleasure.
So what inspired the name?
One Life to Live Foundation.
Daphnee Uter (00:54):
Well, I chose the name One Life to Live Foundation
because I had an aunt thatpassed away in 2018 that used to
say you only have one life tolive, and when she passed away,
a lot I had a lot of emotion.
I was very, you know, sad bythe death and things like that.
So, and she was also acaregiver to a World War II
(01:17):
veteran.
So when she passed away, I waslike, you know, I need to do
something in her honor toremember her, and I thought
about the one life to live,because she always used to say
you only have one life to live.
So then it reminded me yes, shewas telling us we only have one
life to live.
So One Life to Live Foundationwas the right.
(01:39):
What I was feeling at the time.
Scott McLean (01:41):
Right.
So that's a beautiful tributeto her, absolutely.
That's a beautiful tribute toher, absolutely.
That's a beautiful tribute whenwas the foundation established.
Daphnee Uter (01:53):
The foundation was established in March of 2019.
Okay, I founded the foundation.
That was me and I got on atable with two of my friends
that were both military, hadmilitary background, and I told
them that I was going to startthis foundation and I wanted
them to support me in myendeavors, and they decided to
come along with me for the ride,and that's how we took off.
Scott McLean (02:15):
Oh, starting a nonprofit is a ride.
That's one way to put it.
Daphnee Uter (02:21):
It is, it is a ride.
Scott McLean (02:23):
And it's not a straight east and west ride.
It's a rollercoaster ride.
It is a roller is a ride, andit's not a straight east and
west ride.
It's a roller coaster ride.
Daphnee Uter (02:27):
It is a roller coaster ride, but for the good.
Scott McLean (02:31):
Absolutely, absolutely.
So what types of programs andservices do you offer?
Daphnee Uter (02:39):
Some of the programming services that we
offer surround around wellness.
So it's about having a day ofrespite where we do yoga.
We talk about self-care, wetalk about being a caregiver,
support, we talk about respite,and days off and self.
You know, again, all fall underwellness and care.
Scott McLean (03:03):
All right.
Now.
I said I can relate to thatbecause unfortunately and I have
no problem talking about mylife as a my wife will tell you
my now wife, my wife, my life isan open book.
So I, my first wife passed awayin 2011 from breast cancer, so
I understand the need for whatyou do.
(03:24):
I was working.
Unfortunately, my kids weregrown, but it's definitely you
feel like you're all alone inthat and it is especially
working and then worrying whileyou're working because you have
to work.
Daphnee Uter (03:39):
Exactly.
Scott McLean (03:40):
And taking care, coming home and taking care of
the person you love, and gettingup the next day and doing it
again and again, and it's Iprobably could have used a day
in there.
So I really, really respect andlove what you're doing.
That's, it's close to the heartfor me at that, and I truly get
(04:01):
it.
So you were a vet, you're aveteran.
Daphnee Uter (04:05):
I am a veteran.
I served in the United StatesNavy.
I was stationed in WashingtonBarmerton in the USS Camden, and
I love being in the Navy.
But once I got out I was, youknow, trying to figure out my
life again and trying to seewhat type of career I wanted to
have, and I know that veteransserving veterans was number one
(04:27):
on my list.
So I worked for the West PalmBeach VA Medical Center for many
years before I transitioned out.
Scott McLean (04:33):
Beautiful.
Okay, where are you fromoriginally?
Daphnee Uter (04:36):
I was born in Haiti.
I came to the United Stateswhen I was 16 years old.
Scott McLean (04:41):
So okay, so let me , let's talk about that for a
minute.
So you come over here whenyou're 16, right, you come to
the.
United States and you start.
You know, you start living yourlife.
How did the military come intoyour life?
Like when did you say, oh shit,I want to?
Daphnee Uter (05:01):
be in the Navy.
Let's see.
So, after I graduated highschool I graduated from, not
miami b senior high school I wasmy parents had just come to the
country so they were not, youknow, very familiar about where
to send me to college or how tosend me to college.
So they were hard working andtrying to just figure out how to
(05:21):
leave day by day.
And, and I remember going whileI was in high school, I
remember going into the Navyoffice and I was asking about
information how do I get in theNavy, what do I need to do, how
do I get in school, and thingslike that.
Because, and then the recruiterthat I spoke with he was like
well, you know, your English isnot very strong.
(05:41):
And I said, well, I can, I canmake it.
I say I, I graduated highschool, I did well in high
school.
There's, you know, I candefinitely do this.
And he's like your accent mightget in the way.
And I was like I can do it,cause I was only here for like
for one year and a half.
(06:02):
I'm doing this, so he said ifI'm doing this, I'm doing it
yeah.
So he said, if you can pass thetest, then we can talk about
whether you can join or not.
And I took the test one timeand I passed it.
Scott McLean (06:14):
There you go, yeah , so why the?
Daphnee Uter (06:18):
Navy and not the Army Air Force.
I wanted the Air Force at first, and then I went to the Navy
office first, and then thesecond.
I went to the air force.
The recruiter wasn't very, verywelcoming.
I think the navy kind of soldme, you know.
Yeah, he was like, well, you'renew to this country, we don't
know.
Because he, he was a bitreluctant about me joining the
(06:41):
air force.
My english wasn't as strong asit is now, of course, so it took
.
You know, the Navy was the mostwelcoming recruiter and I think
that's why I chose the Navy.
Scott McLean (06:52):
Everything happens for a reason.
Yeah, everything happens for areason.
You were meant to go in theNavy Daphne.
Daphnee Uter (06:58):
Yes, and then I saw the video online and I was
like, oh my God, this is exactlywhat I want to do.
The video was so inspiring.
Scott McLean (07:07):
They had a good director on that video.
Daphnee Uter (07:09):
Oh, they were very good, I was like travel the
world and you know, I said, ohmy God, this is my life, that's
where I need to be.
But yes, so the Navy definitelysaved my life and I'm really
glad that I joined.
Scott McLean (07:22):
It wasn't so.
Was it like the video when yougot in?
Daphnee Uter (07:25):
Absolutely not.
Scott McLean (07:28):
Oh, it wasn't.
Daphnee Uter (07:28):
I was going to say Now, looking back, I'm glad
that I did what I did, because,you know just, the friendship
that I've gotten is for alifetime.
The people that I've joinedwith we still, you know, see
each other at least every fiveyears with we still, you know,
um see each other at least everyfive years.
But those are the good.
I have some really goodmemories and some really good
(07:48):
friends that I gained along theway good, good.
Scott McLean (07:52):
So so the services we just talked about that and
we know who your target audienceis.
Right, it's part of yourmission statement yes are the
services available locally ornationally?
Daphnee Uter (08:07):
We put out two or three events a year where we do
a huge wellness day and then weprovide a respite day to the
people that fill out theapplication.
So we put a notice out and thenthe veterans and the spouses
and the caregivers, they fillout the application and we
select based on the stories,Because you know, the fund right
(08:30):
now is very limited and we canonly take so much.
So once we have, when we havefunding, then we put out a
notice and then the veterans,the caregivers, they fill out an
application where they answersome questions about why they
should be picked to be part ofour program.
And that's how we move forwardwith the selection.
(08:51):
Some of the stories are veryinspiring I bet yes and some,
I'm sure, heartbreaking.
Scott McLean (08:58):
Some are they are.
Daphnee Uter (09:00):
they are, you know , at the beginning, when we did
this for the first time, it wasso I think we all come out in
tears just listening to thestories of the caregivers and
how much this day meant to them,and I think that's the reason
why we were like, okay, we haveto keep doing this.
Scott McLean (09:18):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And you're in West Palm Beach.
What's a typical day in thelife of one life?
To live foundation.
What is so I?
I'm a caregiver and I need abreak.
Right so right, take us throughthat process for a caregiver
(09:40):
that needs a break.
Daphnee Uter (09:42):
A lot of times we have some that reach out to us
where we say, okay, we canprovide you a day at the spa
where you could have either amassage or a facial.
And then they get to pickbetween a massage and a facial.
We send them to the location,they go and they have a day of
relaxation.
A lot of time we partnersometimes with the VA when we do
(10:05):
our event and the caregiverprogram coordinator come and
talk to them about caregiving ingeneral, how to manage
caregiving and their life at thesame time, and then we do a
little bit of yoga and thenthat's how the typical day goes.
Scott McLean (10:22):
Okay, what about your typical day?
What is a typical day as a CEOof my Life to Live Foundation?
Daphnee Uter (10:30):
My typical day I do have another.
You know my full-time job thatI do on a daily basis, and then
in the weekends and afternoon Ido a lot of volunteering,
networking.
I send out a lot of emails, alot of.
I write a lot of grants becauseI do mostly everything for the
nonprofit.
So my day is full Monday toSunday.
(10:52):
So I and then I also volunteerat least once a month in one
other organization locally inWest Palm Beach or Palm Beach
County.
Scott McLean (11:03):
God bless you.
Yeah, that was a long days.
So you were saying, likemassages and facials, do you
have partnerships with local,like you know, spa we?
Daphnee Uter (11:15):
did?
We use the C-Spa a lot.
For most of our C-Spa on SingerIsland At the Marriott Hotel we
had partnered with them for, Ithink, three years and then now
we are using some of the local,the smaller hotels, the smaller
places where they do spa andfacials okay, now you seek them
(11:38):
out.
Scott McLean (11:38):
Do they see, do they seek you out?
Or do they hear about you andsay, hey, we want to help, or
how does?
Daphnee Uter (11:44):
that work.
One of them had sicked us out,but mostly we don't want to seek
them out.
Scott McLean (11:49):
Right, yeah, right and I I suppose that's probably
.
It's either an easy sell orit's like a hard.
No, like we don't, we don't dothat.
Daphnee Uter (11:59):
A lot of times.
It's a discounted service.
Because of what we do, it'seasy to get the discounted price
right, but as far as like asellout to say, well, they want
to do it for free.
No, it hasn't happened yet, butwe are hopeful that we'll be
able to find a location thatwill be willing to do that, even
(12:22):
twice a year or three times ayear.
It will be wonderful.
We thought about, you know,raising enough money to be able
to have our own location wherewe provide those retreat days.
But we haven't gotten there yet.
Our organization is still newand still trying to make our
mark in the world and get peopleto really know us and support
us.
So that's, it's a lot of work,but we are willing to put in the
(12:46):
efforts.
Scott McLean (12:47):
Beautiful.
So while the caregiver isgetting you know, taken care of,
they're getting their day.
Who fills that void for them?
How does that work?
Daphnee Uter (13:00):
Well, we had the last time we did the event we
had another organization thatare they are home health.
They provided two or threevolunteers to help out with, you
know, supporting the loved onesand a lot of times family
members do step in.
(13:21):
So we have been very, verylucky to have people that have
family member that can step infor a day just for that event.
It has been very successful,but it's something that we are
hopeful that in the future thatwe'll be able to partner with
other organizations that areable to help the people that
needs the rest, the rest of theday to take care of their loved
(13:43):
one for a couple hours, just forthem to get away.
Because we know this is achallenge for caregivers that
not having the support and nothaving the family member that
can stand behind them and say,hey, yes, go, take a break, I'll
sit for you for a couple hours.
Scott McLean (13:59):
So if there's any organizations out there that are
listening to this episode andthey're interested, how would
they get in touch with you?
Daphnee Uter (14:08):
My phone number is 561-809-9065.
And you can also reach me onLinkedIn, or my name is Daphne
Uter.
You can also reach out to us onour website,
onelifetolivefoundation1.org, oryou can reach out to us by
emails OneLifeToLiveFoundation1at gmailcom.
Scott McLean (14:30):
And it's U-T-E-R.
Daphnee Uter (14:32):
U-T-E-R.
Yes.
Scott McLean (14:33):
D-A-P-H-n-e-e.
Yeah.
So if you're an organizationthat would like to help them out
, I think that would be amazing.
Get in touch with daphne, soyou've touched on it a couple of
times and it's the engine thatruns every non-profit machine
and think you know where I'mgoing with this funding, right?
(14:57):
How do you, how do you get yourfunny?
What methods do you use or whatto get.
Daphnee Uter (15:04):
We have done.
We have done some crowdfunding.
We have done some Facebookfundraising.
We have done fun, fun, funcalls.
We do a lot of fun calls tofriends, family, resources.
We have gotten a grant fromVeteran United, I think for one
year or two years.
Veteran United Home Loan havebeen very supportive.
(15:25):
So those are the ways that wedo.
I do write a few grants.
A lot of them haven't been verysuccessful.
Obviously, grant writing is notmy suit, but I do it just for
the nonprofit until we can findsomebody that can actually write
some of our grants.
But so far it's mostlynetworking.
Talking about organization,I've been very present in the
(15:47):
community, especially in WestPalm Beach, talking with
different organizations thatwill be willing and able to
support us, that will be willingand able to support us.
Scott McLean (15:54):
Do you do any like .
So there's friendraisers, whichI recently did one and it's
very successful.
It's nice to know that there'speople out there that support
you right.
Daphnee Uter (16:04):
Yes.
Scott McLean (16:05):
And friendraisers, and I learned this in the
nonprofit world right.
There's a difference between afriendraiser and a fundraiser
right.
Daphnee Uter (16:13):
Absolutely.
Scott McLean (16:14):
And so do you have any like one particular event a
year?
That is your fundraiser?
Right, absolutely.
And so do you have any like oneparticular event a year?
That that's, that is yourfundraiser.
It's like okay, this is the onethat you know.
Five months out, you startplanning and you start getting
ready.
Daphnee Uter (16:26):
Yeah, that usually is around October because it's
around caregivers month, whichis in November where we do the
most.
The highest of the fundraisingevent I've also partnered with
for a few years with Prosperity.
They also do a caregiver eventaround in November where they do
(16:49):
for the caregivers in BoyntonBeach P2P.
That's what I call it,prosperity I'm sorry, I just
can't the name fly.
So the Healthier Boynton Beachhas been also supportive with
helping us getting some of ourevents together.
They have partnered with us forthree or four years already and
(17:13):
a lot of their events wepartner with them as well
because they also do support forcaregivers okay.
Scott McLean (17:21):
So is there any one particular story that stands
out like?
We always call them successstories, but every day you run a
non-profit, it's a successevery day that non-profit is
running, whether you're takingone step forward or sometimes
that one step back, but youstill the doors are open, it's a
(17:42):
success story.
But in what you do, is thereanything that stands out that
really like it was an amazingstory, like you help somebody,
or how to say it.
Daphnee Uter (17:52):
Yes, so we had a caregiver that was taking care
of her army husband who haddementia, and she had been
overwhelmed by, you know, justbeing at home with him, couldn't
leave the house for for manyyears home.
So she had been taking care ofhim for a very long time until
(18:12):
she called we were having ourevent and the day before the
event she called us and she waslike I know I'm, I didn't get to
fill the application, I hadbeen so busy.
I really need this this day.
Is there anything?
(18:32):
Is there anything you can dofor us?
And I, you know, I talked to mycolleagues and at the time and I
was like we have to dosomething for this lady.
I said I know we were maxed at15, but can we at least take?
We could probably take one more, and they were like Daphne is
over the budget, but I was likewe really need to get her in.
(18:54):
And they all agreed and wedecided we call CISPA at the
Marriott and we asked them ifthey will be able to accommodate
one more person for us tomorrowand they were very happy to fix
their schedule to try toaccommodate that lady.
And when she came, I mean it wasso powerful.
I mean she needed that day.
(19:14):
I mean she said we literallylike we have no idea what we did
for her.
She said she just she needed toget away.
She needed just that couple ofminutes, just a couple of hours
just to get away from from fromher husband for a little bit.
You know, it doesn't mean thatyou don't love the person, it's
just that you need to put on abreeder for a little bit so
(19:38):
you'll be able to put yourselffirst.
Scott McLean (19:41):
You got to get your act together Absolutely,
because if you don't, thenyou're not doing your full job
as a caretaker and it's veryhard, it's very hard, it is very
hard, it is very hard.
And it's silent.
It's a silent suffering, it isvery hard and it's silent.
Daphnee Uter (19:58):
It's a silent suffering.
Really it is.
It is, I mean, the amount ofenergy that it takes out of you.
At the end of the day, I tellpeople caregiving is a 24-hour
job.
Never stop.
You can be up early, fixingmedication, giving breakfast,
(20:21):
and from that time it's just.
You just go on and on and onfrom doctor's appointment to
making sure they had lunch,making sure they had dinner,
making sure they had a shower,making sure that they
comfortable.
You just don't have the timefor anything else.
Scott McLean (20:33):
Now this is the side of care gearing and again,
I know this firsthand and it'snever really talked about and no
one really.
It's when the caregiver, whenyou think, as the caregiver,
that you made a mistakesomewhere, like you made the
wrong decision or you didn't do,there is a.
There's really, and I livedwith this until.
Daphnee Uter (20:55):
I dealt with it.
Scott McLean (20:57):
And until now, you know, someone tells you no, you
did everything you weresupposed to do.
You know, if you think you madea wrong decision, well, at that
time you made that decision andit was.
You thought it was the rightdecision.
There's a lot of secondguessing yourself as a caregiver
and this is just my experience,but I know it to be true with
(21:20):
other people and so thatcompounds everything.
When you're doing that, whenyou're taking care of that
person and to keep that stiffupper lip and stand tall and do
the job, but you're inside justbeing wrecked.
Daphnee Uter (21:36):
Yes.
You know, I've been there myselfbeing a caregiver, so I know
very well what it's like and Ihad to do it during COVID.
And sometimes I say God, youknow, has a way, and I truly
believe in my beliefs.
But God has a way to workthings out.
And sometimes caregiving nobodytalks about and nobody knows
(21:59):
about it, unless you tellsomeone, they still wouldn't
understand unless they have doneit.
So it's it's.
It's a hard work, it's, it'soverwhelming, but we do it
because that's just who we are.
A lot of people do it justbecause that's who they are.
They are the only person, theonly person that can do it, and
(22:20):
sometimes you might be the onlyfamily member that able and
capable of doing it.
Scott McLean (22:27):
Yes, yeah, and available too, and it's yeah.
So people look at the caregiveron the surface, the caregiver
isn't going to complain.
That's one of the things.
We don't complain because it'snot going to do any good, Right,
you're going to going to do anygood, right, you're going to
hear lip service from people,right, and and that's.
(22:48):
I mean there's a lot afterwards.
There's a lot after the facttoo, that has to be unpacked for
the caregiver.
So do you guys have any type oflike follow-up programs or
plans, or is there anything inthe works for that, or is that?
Daphnee Uter (23:06):
It is something that we would like to be able to
do in the future.
We talked about having a buddyprogram for women, veterans and
caregivers where they canconnect and be a friend to
someone, and that's one of thethings that we do encourage when
we do our retreat day.
We encourage others to takephone numbers of other people
that are going through similarexperiences and be able to talk
(23:29):
about it and be able to discussit, and so they can have the
support that they need.
We find that being a caregiveris also a lonely world.
We have people that were.
I said they lost a lot offriends when they became a
caregiver because their friendscouldn't understand why they
couldn't leave their loved onejust to come out to dinner.
So that's you know.
(23:50):
So this is something you know.
It's good to have thepartnership of someone that's
going through the sameexperience as you that you could
, that can understand you whereyou're at in this, in this
journey understand you where youare in this, in this journey.
Scott McLean (24:06):
It's like a uh in.
My listeners know that I'm arecovering alcoholic.
It's like having a sponsor inaa, somebody that what you're
walking in their shoes, theyknow exactly how you feel yes
and, like you said earlier inthis interview, you know, unless
you've walked in those shoes,you really don't know.
Know, you really don't know.
And I think people appreciatecaregivers and they see them and
(24:27):
they're like, oh, that's abeautiful thing, but they really
don't get it.
I can say that jokingly, but Ican be serious about that too,
and what you guys do is amazingand it's so needed.
It's so so needed.
What are the?
Daphnee Uter (24:54):
what's the biggest challenge that One Life to Live
Foundation has.
I am looking for board membersthat are willing to participate
and join us in this ride,because we are small and I'm
trying to network out to be ableto find the people that will be
able to support us in whatwe're doing.
Scott McLean (25:14):
Yeah, and the goals for 2025, is there any
plans for like setting?
Is there any plans for likesetting and I know you touched
on it a little bit like a newprogram or something that you
can implement into what you'realready doing, because we know
you have to keep evolving, right?
Daphnee Uter (25:32):
We have to keep evolving yeah.
We are planning on doing a hugeevent in October.
This is in the plan right now,so we are asking for donations
or support for that event.
We are hoping to be able tohave 50 caregivers there.
So it is going to be ourbiggest event of the year and we
would like as much support aspossible and where?
Scott McLean (25:54):
where is this usually held?
Is it anyone?
Daphnee Uter (25:57):
we held it either in a park or we do it at in a,
in in a, in a like the C-Spa, aspa location.
Scott McLean (26:09):
So I'm going to offer this to you.
When you're ready to do that,you let me know and I will
advertise it on my podcast asmuch as possible.
I would love to help you, youknow, promote those things.
Daphnee Uter (26:21):
Absolutely.
I would appreciate it.
Yeah, and I love that that,that buddy program thing.
Scott McLean (26:23):
I Absolutely, I would appreciate it.
Yeah, and I love that.
That.
That buddy program thing.
I think that's something that'sreally needed too.
I think that's really a great.
That would be a great programin itself If someone wanted to
volunteer, that's been throughit, that can talk to somebody
and say hey that needs.
Daphnee Uter (26:38):
Yes, absolutely, Absolutely yes.
Scott McLean (26:41):
So what's the website again?
Daphnee Uter (26:44):
The website is onelivetolivefoundation1.org.
Scott McLean (26:47):
The number one right.
Daphnee Uter (26:48):
Number one yes.
Scott McLean (26:50):
So I want everybody to go to
onelivetolivefoundation1, numberone dot org.
And I say this every episodeDaphne, give them money, give
them your money.
They want, they need your money, so go to that website.
Is there a place to donate onthe website?
Daphnee Uter (27:10):
Yes, there is.
Scott McLean (27:10):
Yes, go to that website and give them your money
.
They need it, they want it.
It's gasoline for the engine.
We all love it, but you guys,this is your day, this is your
episode.
You get the money today.
Daphne.
Daphnee Uter (27:26):
Absolutely.
Scott McLean (27:27):
Is there anything I missed?
Is there anything you want totalk about?
Daphnee Uter (27:31):
Anything about the foundation.
I just want to talk about ingeneral, the self-care education
.
A lot of times as a caregiver,even a woman veteran, self-care
should be at your top priority.
We know that when we get on aplane they say put on your mask
first before you put on somebodyelse's.
So always think about, even ifit's 15 minutes of the day that
(27:54):
you need to step away from thatcomputer, from your workstation,
from your home, from yourchildren.
Take that 15 minutes and justtake a moment of peace, a moment
of quiet, a moment of reader,so you could feel better,
because it's good for your mind,it's good for your body and
it's also good for your soul.
Scott McLean (28:15):
Yes, now you specified in your mission
statement women veterans.
Daphnee Uter (28:20):
Yes.
Scott McLean (28:20):
So how does that fit into this?
Daphnee Uter (28:26):
veterans, yes.
So how does that fit into this?
Well, as a woman veteran myself, I wanted to put a place for
women veterans to feel like theybelong, that they are as
important as any veteran, and Ifeel like women veterans, we are
in the shadow of the maleveterans.
So I wanted to put the womenveterans also in the highlight
of my foundation and I wanted tobring all the women veterans
(28:50):
together and be part of thisevent, because a lot of us we
are also caretakers, we are alsoparent, we are also
grandparents.
I want all the women veteransto come together, especially in
Palm Beach County, where we arescattered.
I've been to several eventswhere there are like a lot of
veteran programs, but I barelysee one woman there.
So I would like to be able tobring the women veterans
(29:13):
together and do something thatcan be really uplifting for
caregivers and also womenveterans that are also
caregivers or veteran spouses,and also women veterans that are
also caregivers or veteranspouses.
Scott McLean (29:23):
Well, I know some women veterans that I love and I
will be sending them your way.
Daphnee Uter (29:30):
Thank you, thank you.
Scott McLean (29:32):
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
I think that's very important.
I think it's very important.
So, all right, well, I think wecovered everything, yeah.
Daphnee Uter (29:43):
We did.
Scott McLean (29:43):
I don't want to leave anything on the table.
Daphne, If you have it, let'sair it.
I think we covered everything.
I love what you're doing.
Daphnee Uter (29:53):
Thank you.
Scott McLean (29:54):
And I will help promote anything that you might
need in the future.
Just, you have my.
We're connected on LinkedIn.
Daphnee Uter (30:02):
Yes.
Scott McLean (30:05):
And you can also.
So I have one man, one mikefoundation dot o-r-g-o-n-e not
the number one and if you everwant to reach out through there
and maybe there's a way that ourfoundations can kind of
collaborate, because I thinkthere's something in there, you
know absolutely the stories it'sall about the stories, and the
stories are powerful.
Daphnee Uter (30:23):
Yes, they are, they really are, yeah, yeah.
Scott McLean (30:27):
And there's a lot of veterans, so it's caregivers
for veterans, but how aboutveterans that are caregivers, is
that?
Daphnee Uter (30:35):
Yes, it's veterans caregivers, caregivers for
veterans and also caregivers forveteran spouses.
It's any of those categories?
Scott McLean (30:46):
Any combination.
Daphnee Uter (30:48):
Any combination of those.
It was so surprising that a lotof the women that joined our
program, not only they wereveterans, but they were also
caregivers to their husband thatwere also in the military.
It all overlaps.
Scott McLean (31:06):
Yeah yeah, absolutely, absolutely, versus
their husband.
That when, also in the military, it all overlaps.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely,absolutely.
Well, daphne, this has been anabsolute pleasure talking to you
.
I've said it a number of timesI love what you're doing, it's
extremely important, and I knowthis firsthand and I wish I knew
you can.
Men can get get facials too,right.
They can get a massage.
They can.
Daphnee Uter (31:24):
Yes, they can.
Scott McLean (31:28):
Yes, we can, yes.
So if you're a man and you're acaregiver, don't be shy.
Don't even go get that facial,get that, get that, that massage
that you need.
Don't do it, just do it.
Daphnee Uter (31:43):
I could have used one you know, a lot of times,
you know caregivers doesn't havea specific gender.
No, it doesn't.
Scott McLean (31:51):
No, absolutely not so well.
Uh, I will definitely betalking to you throughout 2025.
I'm sure that I have a couplethings I want to talk to you
about off the air, so stickaround and I'll do my outro, and
which I you know.
This outro thing is funny.
Like I always try to stayconsistent with it, but every
time I go to do it I don't haveit written down, right, so every
(32:14):
episode it's like different.
Like sometimes I get off theair.
I'm like I didn't even give mywebsite, like what am I doing
here?
Right, I'm supposed to be aprofessional podcaster.
Daphnee Uter (32:25):
Well, you're doing great.
I think you're doing great, butthank you so much for having me
Again.
My name is Daphne Uder, founderand CEO of One Life to Live
Foundation 1 at that org, or OneLife to Live Foundation 1 at
(32:46):
gmailcom or my phone number561-809-9065.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate the opportunityand to all caregivers and
veterans listening in, we willbe in touch.
Scott McLean (32:58):
Yes, thank you.
So stick around, hold on onesecond and give them money.
Give them your money.
That's in order, okay?
Well, we built another bridgetoday.
They're always beautifulbridges.
This is a beautiful bridge.
I hope you enjoyed the episode.
If you like it, share it.
If you're listening on any ofthe platforms, subscribe to it.
Tell your friends about it,tell a veteran about it.
(33:20):
If you want to get in touchwith the podcast, it's vets
connection podcast at gmailcom.
If you want to go to thewebsite, it's vets connect
podcastcom and I also have theone man one, mike foundationorg.
If you want to go to thatwebsite for my foundation.
(33:40):
It's about we teach veteranshow to podcast and the art of
storytelling and stick aroundfor the public service, the PSA.
At the end it's a.
It's a very informative 30second PSA about 988-211, all
the services that are availableto veterans, family members of
veterans, friends of veteransand civilians alike.
It's very informative.
It's only 30 seconds, so giveit a listen and I think I got
(34:04):
everything this time.
Daphne, I think I got it all in.
Daphnee Uter (34:07):
Very good.
Scott McLean (34:08):
I should have you on at the end of every episode
for me.
Keep me focused, because I didit, I got through the final, but
it won't be the same next week,next episode.
It won't be the same.
All right, everybody.
As I always say,
Welcome to the podcast.
I'm Scott McLean.
My guest today is Daphne Uter.
Daphne is the CEO of the OneLife to Live Foundation, located
in West Palm Beach, florida.
The One Life to Live Foundationis a very unique nonprofit, if
you ask me, and I've beendealing with nonprofits for a
while now.
(00:20):
Their mission is to support,inspire and educate women,
veterans, spouses and caregiversof wounded veterans by offering
a day of respite and retreatdedicated to their personal
holistic wellness.
That I can relate to, but we'lleither get into that or we
won't.
But, daphne, how are you today?
Daphnee Uter (00:42):
I am doing good.
Thank you for having me heretoday.
Scott McLean (00:45):
Oh, it's my pleasure.
It's my pleasure.
So what inspired the name?
One Life to Live Foundation.
Daphnee Uter (00:54):
Well, I chose the name One Life to Live Foundation
because I had an aunt thatpassed away in 2018 that used to
say you only have one life tolive, and when she passed away,
a lot I had a lot of emotion.
I was very, you know, sad bythe death and things like that.
So, and she was also acaregiver to a World War II
(01:17):
veteran.
So when she passed away, I waslike, you know, I need to do
something in her honor toremember her, and I thought
about the one life to live,because she always used to say
you only have one life to live.
So then it reminded me yes, shewas telling us we only have one
life to live.
So One Life to Live Foundationwas the right.
(01:39):
What I was feeling at the time.
Scott McLean (01:41):
Right.
So that's a beautiful tributeto her, absolutely.
That's a beautiful tribute toher, absolutely.
That's a beautiful tribute whenwas the foundation established.
Daphnee Uter (01:53):
The foundation was established in March of 2019.
Okay, I founded the foundation.
That was me and I got on atable with two of my friends
that were both military, hadmilitary background, and I told
them that I was going to startthis foundation and I wanted
them to support me in myendeavors, and they decided to
come along with me for the ride,and that's how we took off.
Scott McLean (02:15):
Oh, starting a nonprofit is a ride.
That's one way to put it.
Daphnee Uter (02:21):
It is, it is a ride.
Scott McLean (02:23):
And it's not a straight east and west ride.
It's a rollercoaster ride.
It is a roller is a ride, andit's not a straight east and
west ride.
It's a roller coaster ride.
Daphnee Uter (02:27):
It is a roller coaster ride, but for the good.
Scott McLean (02:31):
Absolutely, absolutely.
So what types of programs andservices do you offer?
Daphnee Uter (02:39):
Some of the programming services that we
offer surround around wellness.
So it's about having a day ofrespite where we do yoga.
We talk about self-care, wetalk about being a caregiver,
support, we talk about respite,and days off and self.
You know, again, all fall underwellness and care.
Scott McLean (03:03):
All right.
Now.
I said I can relate to thatbecause unfortunately and I have
no problem talking about mylife as a my wife will tell you
my now wife, my wife, my life isan open book.
So I, my first wife passed awayin 2011 from breast cancer, so
I understand the need for whatyou do.
(03:24):
I was working.
Unfortunately, my kids weregrown, but it's definitely you
feel like you're all alone inthat and it is especially
working and then worrying whileyou're working because you have
to work.
Daphnee Uter (03:39):
Exactly.
Scott McLean (03:40):
And taking care, coming home and taking care of
the person you love, and gettingup the next day and doing it
again and again, and it's Iprobably could have used a day
in there.
So I really, really respect andlove what you're doing.
That's, it's close to the heartfor me at that, and I truly get
(04:01):
it.
So you were a vet, you're aveteran.
Daphnee Uter (04:05):
I am a veteran.
I served in the United StatesNavy.
I was stationed in WashingtonBarmerton in the USS Camden, and
I love being in the Navy.
But once I got out I was, youknow, trying to figure out my
life again and trying to seewhat type of career I wanted to
have, and I know that veteransserving veterans was number one
(04:27):
on my list.
So I worked for the West PalmBeach VA Medical Center for many
years before I transitioned out.
Scott McLean (04:33):
Beautiful.
Okay, where are you fromoriginally?
Daphnee Uter (04:36):
I was born in Haiti.
I came to the United Stateswhen I was 16 years old.
Scott McLean (04:41):
So okay, so let me , let's talk about that for a
minute.
So you come over here whenyou're 16, right, you come to
the.
United States and you start.
You know, you start living yourlife.
How did the military come intoyour life?
Like when did you say, oh shit,I want to?
Daphnee Uter (05:01):
be in the Navy.
Let's see.
So, after I graduated highschool I graduated from, not
miami b senior high school I wasmy parents had just come to the
country so they were not, youknow, very familiar about where
to send me to college or how tosend me to college.
So they were hard working andtrying to just figure out how to
(05:21):
leave day by day.
And, and I remember going whileI was in high school, I
remember going into the Navyoffice and I was asking about
information how do I get in theNavy, what do I need to do, how
do I get in school, and thingslike that.
Because, and then the recruiterthat I spoke with he was like
well, you know, your English isnot very strong.
(05:41):
And I said, well, I can, I canmake it.
I say I, I graduated highschool, I did well in high
school.
There's, you know, I candefinitely do this.
And he's like your accent mightget in the way.
And I was like I can do it,cause I was only here for like
for one year and a half.
(06:02):
I'm doing this, so he said ifI'm doing this, I'm doing it
yeah.
So he said, if you can pass thetest, then we can talk about
whether you can join or not.
And I took the test one timeand I passed it.
Scott McLean (06:14):
There you go, yeah , so why the?
Daphnee Uter (06:18):
Navy and not the Army Air Force.
I wanted the Air Force at first, and then I went to the Navy
office first, and then thesecond.
I went to the air force.
The recruiter wasn't very, verywelcoming.
I think the navy kind of soldme, you know.
Yeah, he was like, well, you'renew to this country, we don't
know.
Because he, he was a bitreluctant about me joining the
(06:41):
air force.
My english wasn't as strong asit is now, of course, so it took
.
You know, the Navy was the mostwelcoming recruiter and I think
that's why I chose the Navy.
Scott McLean (06:52):
Everything happens for a reason.
Yeah, everything happens for areason.
You were meant to go in theNavy Daphne.
Daphnee Uter (06:58):
Yes, and then I saw the video online and I was
like, oh my God, this is exactlywhat I want to do.
The video was so inspiring.
Scott McLean (07:07):
They had a good director on that video.
Daphnee Uter (07:09):
Oh, they were very good, I was like travel the
world and you know, I said, ohmy God, this is my life, that's
where I need to be.
But yes, so the Navy definitelysaved my life and I'm really
glad that I joined.
Scott McLean (07:22):
It wasn't so.
Was it like the video when yougot in?
Daphnee Uter (07:25):
Absolutely not.
Scott McLean (07:28):
Oh, it wasn't.
Daphnee Uter (07:28):
I was going to say Now, looking back, I'm glad
that I did what I did, because,you know just, the friendship
that I've gotten is for alifetime.
The people that I've joinedwith we still, you know, see
each other at least every fiveyears with we still, you know,
um see each other at least everyfive years.
But those are the good.
I have some really goodmemories and some really good
(07:48):
friends that I gained along theway good, good.
Scott McLean (07:52):
So so the services we just talked about that and
we know who your target audienceis.
Right, it's part of yourmission statement yes are the
services available locally ornationally?
Daphnee Uter (08:07):
We put out two or three events a year where we do
a huge wellness day and then weprovide a respite day to the
people that fill out theapplication.
So we put a notice out and thenthe veterans and the spouses
and the caregivers, they fillout the application and we
select based on the stories,Because you know, the fund right
(08:30):
now is very limited and we canonly take so much.
So once we have, when we havefunding, then we put out a
notice and then the veterans,the caregivers, they fill out an
application where they answersome questions about why they
should be picked to be part ofour program.
And that's how we move forwardwith the selection.
(08:51):
Some of the stories are veryinspiring I bet yes and some,
I'm sure, heartbreaking.
Scott McLean (08:58):
Some are they are.
Daphnee Uter (09:00):
they are, you know , at the beginning, when we did
this for the first time, it wasso I think we all come out in
tears just listening to thestories of the caregivers and
how much this day meant to them,and I think that's the reason
why we were like, okay, we haveto keep doing this.
Scott McLean (09:18):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And you're in West Palm Beach.
What's a typical day in thelife of one life?
To live foundation.
What is so I?
I'm a caregiver and I need abreak.
Right so right, take us throughthat process for a caregiver
(09:40):
that needs a break.
Daphnee Uter (09:42):
A lot of times we have some that reach out to us
where we say, okay, we canprovide you a day at the spa
where you could have either amassage or a facial.
And then they get to pickbetween a massage and a facial.
We send them to the location,they go and they have a day of
relaxation.
A lot of time we partnersometimes with the VA when we do
(10:05):
our event and the caregiverprogram coordinator come and
talk to them about caregiving ingeneral, how to manage
caregiving and their life at thesame time, and then we do a
little bit of yoga and thenthat's how the typical day goes.
Scott McLean (10:22):
Okay, what about your typical day?
What is a typical day as a CEOof my Life to Live Foundation?
Daphnee Uter (10:30):
My typical day I do have another.
You know my full-time job thatI do on a daily basis, and then
in the weekends and afternoon Ido a lot of volunteering,
networking.
I send out a lot of emails, alot of.
I write a lot of grants becauseI do mostly everything for the
nonprofit.
So my day is full Monday toSunday.
(10:52):
So I and then I also volunteerat least once a month in one
other organization locally inWest Palm Beach or Palm Beach
County.
Scott McLean (11:03):
God bless you.
Yeah, that was a long days.
So you were saying, likemassages and facials, do you
have partnerships with local,like you know, spa we?
Daphnee Uter (11:15):
did?
We use the C-Spa a lot.
For most of our C-Spa on SingerIsland At the Marriott Hotel we
had partnered with them for, Ithink, three years and then now
we are using some of the local,the smaller hotels, the smaller
places where they do spa andfacials okay, now you seek them
(11:38):
out.
Scott McLean (11:38):
Do they see, do they seek you out?
Or do they hear about you andsay, hey, we want to help, or
how does?
Daphnee Uter (11:44):
that work.
One of them had sicked us out,but mostly we don't want to seek
them out.
Scott McLean (11:49):
Right, yeah, right and I I suppose that's probably
.
It's either an easy sell orit's like a hard.
No, like we don't, we don't dothat.
Daphnee Uter (11:59):
A lot of times.
It's a discounted service.
Because of what we do, it'seasy to get the discounted price
right, but as far as like asellout to say, well, they want
to do it for free.
No, it hasn't happened yet, butwe are hopeful that we'll be
able to find a location thatwill be willing to do that, even
(12:22):
twice a year or three times ayear.
It will be wonderful.
We thought about, you know,raising enough money to be able
to have our own location wherewe provide those retreat days.
But we haven't gotten there yet.
Our organization is still newand still trying to make our
mark in the world and get peopleto really know us and support
us.
So that's, it's a lot of work,but we are willing to put in the
(12:46):
efforts.
Scott McLean (12:47):
Beautiful.
So while the caregiver isgetting you know, taken care of,
they're getting their day.
Who fills that void for them?
How does that work?
Daphnee Uter (13:00):
Well, we had the last time we did the event we
had another organization thatare they are home health.
They provided two or threevolunteers to help out with, you
know, supporting the loved onesand a lot of times family
members do step in.
(13:21):
So we have been very, verylucky to have people that have
family member that can step infor a day just for that event.
It has been very successful,but it's something that we are
hopeful that in the future thatwe'll be able to partner with
other organizations that areable to help the people that
needs the rest, the rest of theday to take care of their loved
(13:43):
one for a couple hours, just forthem to get away.
Because we know this is achallenge for caregivers that
not having the support and nothaving the family member that
can stand behind them and say,hey, yes, go, take a break, I'll
sit for you for a couple hours.
Scott McLean (13:59):
So if there's any organizations out there that are
listening to this episode andthey're interested, how would
they get in touch with you?
Daphnee Uter (14:08):
My phone number is 561-809-9065.
And you can also reach me onLinkedIn, or my name is Daphne
Uter.
You can also reach out to us onour website,
onelifetolivefoundation1.org, oryou can reach out to us by
emails OneLifeToLiveFoundation1at gmailcom.
Scott McLean (14:30):
And it's U-T-E-R.
Daphnee Uter (14:32):
U-T-E-R.
Yes.
Scott McLean (14:33):
D-A-P-H-n-e-e.
Yeah.
So if you're an organizationthat would like to help them out
, I think that would be amazing.
Get in touch with daphne, soyou've touched on it a couple of
times and it's the engine thatruns every non-profit machine
and think you know where I'mgoing with this funding, right?
(14:57):
How do you, how do you get yourfunny?
What methods do you use or whatto get.
Daphnee Uter (15:04):
We have done.
We have done some crowdfunding.
We have done some Facebookfundraising.
We have done fun, fun, funcalls.
We do a lot of fun calls tofriends, family, resources.
We have gotten a grant fromVeteran United, I think for one
year or two years.
Veteran United Home Loan havebeen very supportive.
(15:25):
So those are the ways that wedo.
I do write a few grants.
A lot of them haven't been verysuccessful.
Obviously, grant writing is notmy suit, but I do it just for
the nonprofit until we can findsomebody that can actually write
some of our grants.
But so far it's mostlynetworking.
Talking about organization,I've been very present in the
(15:47):
community, especially in WestPalm Beach, talking with
different organizations thatwill be willing and able to
support us, that will be willingand able to support us.
Scott McLean (15:54):
Do you do any like .
So there's friendraisers, whichI recently did one and it's
very successful.
It's nice to know that there'speople out there that support
you right.
Daphnee Uter (16:04):
Yes.
Scott McLean (16:05):
And friendraisers, and I learned this in the
nonprofit world right.
There's a difference between afriendraiser and a fundraiser
right.
Daphnee Uter (16:13):
Absolutely.
Scott McLean (16:14):
And so do you have any like one particular event a
year?
That is your fundraiser?
Right, absolutely.
And so do you have any like oneparticular event a year?
That that's, that is yourfundraiser.
It's like okay, this is the onethat you know.
Five months out, you startplanning and you start getting
ready.
Daphnee Uter (16:26):
Yeah, that usually is around October because it's
around caregivers month, whichis in November where we do the
most.
The highest of the fundraisingevent I've also partnered with
for a few years with Prosperity.
They also do a caregiver eventaround in November where they do
(16:49):
for the caregivers in BoyntonBeach P2P.
That's what I call it,prosperity I'm sorry, I just
can't the name fly.
So the Healthier Boynton Beachhas been also supportive with
helping us getting some of ourevents together.
They have partnered with us forthree or four years already and
(17:13):
a lot of their events wepartner with them as well
because they also do support forcaregivers okay.
Scott McLean (17:21):
So is there any one particular story that stands
out like?
We always call them successstories, but every day you run a
non-profit, it's a successevery day that non-profit is
running, whether you're takingone step forward or sometimes
that one step back, but youstill the doors are open, it's a
(17:42):
success story.
But in what you do, is thereanything that stands out that
really like it was an amazingstory, like you help somebody,
or how to say it.
Daphnee Uter (17:52):
Yes, so we had a caregiver that was taking care
of her army husband who haddementia, and she had been
overwhelmed by, you know, justbeing at home with him, couldn't
leave the house for for manyyears home.
So she had been taking care ofhim for a very long time until
(18:12):
she called we were having ourevent and the day before the
event she called us and she waslike I know I'm, I didn't get to
fill the application, I hadbeen so busy.
I really need this this day.
Is there anything?
(18:32):
Is there anything you can dofor us?
And I, you know, I talked to mycolleagues and at the time and I
was like we have to dosomething for this lady.
I said I know we were maxed at15, but can we at least take?
We could probably take one more, and they were like Daphne is
over the budget, but I was likewe really need to get her in.
(18:54):
And they all agreed and wedecided we call CISPA at the
Marriott and we asked them ifthey will be able to accommodate
one more person for us tomorrowand they were very happy to fix
their schedule to try toaccommodate that lady.
And when she came, I mean it wasso powerful.
I mean she needed that day.
(19:14):
I mean she said we literallylike we have no idea what we did
for her.
She said she just she needed toget away.
She needed just that couple ofminutes, just a couple of hours
just to get away from from fromher husband for a little bit.
You know, it doesn't mean thatyou don't love the person, it's
just that you need to put on abreeder for a little bit so
(19:38):
you'll be able to put yourselffirst.
Scott McLean (19:41):
You got to get your act together Absolutely,
because if you don't, thenyou're not doing your full job
as a caretaker and it's veryhard, it's very hard, it is very
hard, it is very hard.
And it's silent.
It's a silent suffering, it isvery hard and it's silent.
Daphnee Uter (19:58):
It's a silent suffering.
Really it is.
It is, I mean, the amount ofenergy that it takes out of you.
At the end of the day, I tellpeople caregiving is a 24-hour
job.
Never stop.
You can be up early, fixingmedication, giving breakfast,
(20:21):
and from that time it's just.
You just go on and on and onfrom doctor's appointment to
making sure they had lunch,making sure they had dinner,
making sure they had a shower,making sure that they
comfortable.
You just don't have the timefor anything else.
Scott McLean (20:33):
Now this is the side of care gearing and again,
I know this firsthand and it'snever really talked about and no
one really.
It's when the caregiver, whenyou think, as the caregiver,
that you made a mistakesomewhere, like you made the
wrong decision or you didn't do,there is a.
There's really, and I livedwith this until.
Daphnee Uter (20:55):
I dealt with it.
Scott McLean (20:57):
And until now, you know, someone tells you no, you
did everything you weresupposed to do.
You know, if you think you madea wrong decision, well, at that
time you made that decision andit was.
You thought it was the rightdecision.
There's a lot of secondguessing yourself as a caregiver
and this is just my experience,but I know it to be true with
(21:20):
other people and so thatcompounds everything.
When you're doing that, whenyou're taking care of that
person and to keep that stiffupper lip and stand tall and do
the job, but you're inside justbeing wrecked.
Daphnee Uter (21:36):
Yes.
You know, I've been there myselfbeing a caregiver, so I know
very well what it's like and Ihad to do it during COVID.
And sometimes I say God, youknow, has a way, and I truly
believe in my beliefs.
But God has a way to workthings out.
And sometimes caregiving nobodytalks about and nobody knows
(21:59):
about it, unless you tellsomeone, they still wouldn't
understand unless they have doneit.
So it's it's.
It's a hard work, it's, it'soverwhelming, but we do it
because that's just who we are.
A lot of people do it justbecause that's who they are.
They are the only person, theonly person that can do it, and
(22:20):
sometimes you might be the onlyfamily member that able and
capable of doing it.
Scott McLean (22:27):
Yes, yeah, and available too, and it's yeah.
So people look at the caregiveron the surface, the caregiver
isn't going to complain.
That's one of the things.
We don't complain because it'snot going to do any good, Right,
you're going to going to do anygood, right, you're going to
hear lip service from people,right, and and that's.
(22:48):
I mean there's a lot afterwards.
There's a lot after the facttoo, that has to be unpacked for
the caregiver.
So do you guys have any type oflike follow-up programs or
plans, or is there anything inthe works for that, or is that?
Daphnee Uter (23:06):
It is something that we would like to be able to
do in the future.
We talked about having a buddyprogram for women, veterans and
caregivers where they canconnect and be a friend to
someone, and that's one of thethings that we do encourage when
we do our retreat day.
We encourage others to takephone numbers of other people
that are going through similarexperiences and be able to talk
(23:29):
about it and be able to discussit, and so they can have the
support that they need.
We find that being a caregiveris also a lonely world.
We have people that were.
I said they lost a lot offriends when they became a
caregiver because their friendscouldn't understand why they
couldn't leave their loved onejust to come out to dinner.
So that's you know.
(23:50):
So this is something you know.
It's good to have thepartnership of someone that's
going through the sameexperience as you that you could
, that can understand you whereyou're at in this, in this
journey understand you where youare in this, in this journey.
Scott McLean (24:06):
It's like a uh in.
My listeners know that I'm arecovering alcoholic.
It's like having a sponsor inaa, somebody that what you're
walking in their shoes, theyknow exactly how you feel yes
and, like you said earlier inthis interview, you know, unless
you've walked in those shoes,you really don't know.
Know, you really don't know.
And I think people appreciatecaregivers and they see them and
(24:27):
they're like, oh, that's abeautiful thing, but they really
don't get it.
I can say that jokingly, but Ican be serious about that too,
and what you guys do is amazingand it's so needed.
It's so so needed.
What are the?
Daphnee Uter (24:54):
what's the biggest challenge that One Life to Live
Foundation has.
I am looking for board membersthat are willing to participate
and join us in this ride,because we are small and I'm
trying to network out to be ableto find the people that will be
able to support us in whatwe're doing.
Scott McLean (25:14):
Yeah, and the goals for 2025, is there any
plans for like setting?
Is there any plans for likesetting and I know you touched
on it a little bit like a newprogram or something that you
can implement into what you'realready doing, because we know
you have to keep evolving, right?
Daphnee Uter (25:32):
We have to keep evolving yeah.
We are planning on doing a hugeevent in October.
This is in the plan right now,so we are asking for donations
or support for that event.
We are hoping to be able tohave 50 caregivers there.
So it is going to be ourbiggest event of the year and we
would like as much support aspossible and where?
Scott McLean (25:54):
where is this usually held?
Is it anyone?
Daphnee Uter (25:57):
we held it either in a park or we do it at in a,
in in a, in a like the C-Spa, aspa location.
Scott McLean (26:09):
So I'm going to offer this to you.
When you're ready to do that,you let me know and I will
advertise it on my podcast asmuch as possible.
I would love to help you, youknow, promote those things.
Daphnee Uter (26:21):
Absolutely.
I would appreciate it.
Yeah, and I love that that,that buddy program thing.
Scott McLean (26:23):
I Absolutely, I would appreciate it.
Yeah, and I love that.
That.
That buddy program thing.
I think that's something that'sreally needed too.
I think that's really a great.
That would be a great programin itself If someone wanted to
volunteer, that's been throughit, that can talk to somebody
and say hey that needs.
Daphnee Uter (26:38):
Yes, absolutely, Absolutely yes.
Scott McLean (26:41):
So what's the website again?
Daphnee Uter (26:44):
The website is onelivetolivefoundation1.org.
Scott McLean (26:47):
The number one right.
Daphnee Uter (26:48):
Number one yes.
Scott McLean (26:50):
So I want everybody to go to
onelivetolivefoundation1, numberone dot org.
And I say this every episodeDaphne, give them money, give
them your money.
They want, they need your money, so go to that website.
Is there a place to donate onthe website?
Daphnee Uter (27:10):
Yes, there is.
Scott McLean (27:10):
Yes, go to that website and give them your money
.
They need it, they want it.
It's gasoline for the engine.
We all love it, but you guys,this is your day, this is your
episode.
You get the money today.
Daphne.
Daphnee Uter (27:26):
Absolutely.
Scott McLean (27:27):
Is there anything I missed?
Is there anything you want totalk about?
Daphnee Uter (27:31):
Anything about the foundation.
I just want to talk about ingeneral, the self-care education
.
A lot of times as a caregiver,even a woman veteran, self-care
should be at your top priority.
We know that when we get on aplane they say put on your mask
first before you put on somebodyelse's.
So always think about, even ifit's 15 minutes of the day that
(27:54):
you need to step away from thatcomputer, from your workstation,
from your home, from yourchildren.
Take that 15 minutes and justtake a moment of peace, a moment
of quiet, a moment of reader,so you could feel better,
because it's good for your mind,it's good for your body and
it's also good for your soul.
Scott McLean (28:15):
Yes, now you specified in your mission
statement women veterans.
Daphnee Uter (28:20):
Yes.
Scott McLean (28:20):
So how does that fit into this?
Daphnee Uter (28:26):
veterans, yes.
So how does that fit into this?
Well, as a woman veteran myself, I wanted to put a place for
women veterans to feel like theybelong, that they are as
important as any veteran, and Ifeel like women veterans, we are
in the shadow of the maleveterans.
So I wanted to put the womenveterans also in the highlight
of my foundation and I wanted tobring all the women veterans
(28:50):
together and be part of thisevent, because a lot of us we
are also caretakers, we are alsoparent, we are also
grandparents.
I want all the women veteransto come together, especially in
Palm Beach County, where we arescattered.
I've been to several eventswhere there are like a lot of
veteran programs, but I barelysee one woman there.
So I would like to be able tobring the women veterans
(29:13):
together and do something thatcan be really uplifting for
caregivers and also womenveterans that are also
caregivers or veteran spouses,and also women veterans that are
also caregivers or veteranspouses.
Scott McLean (29:23):
Well, I know some women veterans that I love and I
will be sending them your way.
Daphnee Uter (29:30):
Thank you, thank you.
Scott McLean (29:32):
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
I think that's very important.
I think it's very important.
So, all right, well, I think wecovered everything, yeah.
Daphnee Uter (29:43):
We did.
Scott McLean (29:43):
I don't want to leave anything on the table.
Daphne, If you have it, let'sair it.
I think we covered everything.
I love what you're doing.
Daphnee Uter (29:53):
Thank you.
Scott McLean (29:54):
And I will help promote anything that you might
need in the future.
Just, you have my.
We're connected on LinkedIn.
Daphnee Uter (30:02):
Yes.
Scott McLean (30:05):
And you can also.
So I have one man, one mikefoundation dot o-r-g-o-n-e not
the number one and if you everwant to reach out through there
and maybe there's a way that ourfoundations can kind of
collaborate, because I thinkthere's something in there, you
know absolutely the stories it'sall about the stories, and the
stories are powerful.
Daphnee Uter (30:23):
Yes, they are, they really are, yeah, yeah.
Scott McLean (30:27):
And there's a lot of veterans, so it's caregivers
for veterans, but how aboutveterans that are caregivers, is
that?
Daphnee Uter (30:35):
Yes, it's veterans caregivers, caregivers for
veterans and also caregivers forveteran spouses.
It's any of those categories?
Scott McLean (30:46):
Any combination.
Daphnee Uter (30:48):
Any combination of those.
It was so surprising that a lotof the women that joined our
program, not only they wereveterans, but they were also
caregivers to their husband thatwere also in the military.
It all overlaps.
Scott McLean (31:06):
Yeah yeah, absolutely, absolutely, versus
their husband.
That when, also in the military, it all overlaps.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely,absolutely.
Well, daphne, this has been anabsolute pleasure talking to you
.
I've said it a number of timesI love what you're doing, it's
extremely important, and I knowthis firsthand and I wish I knew
you can.
Men can get get facials too,right.
They can get a massage.
They can.
Daphnee Uter (31:24):
Yes, they can.
Scott McLean (31:28):
Yes, we can, yes.
So if you're a man and you're acaregiver, don't be shy.
Don't even go get that facial,get that, get that, that massage
that you need.
Don't do it, just do it.
Daphnee Uter (31:43):
I could have used one you know, a lot of times,
you know caregivers doesn't havea specific gender.
No, it doesn't.
Scott McLean (31:51):
No, absolutely not so well.
Uh, I will definitely betalking to you throughout 2025.
I'm sure that I have a couplethings I want to talk to you
about off the air, so stickaround and I'll do my outro, and
which I you know.
This outro thing is funny.
Like I always try to stayconsistent with it, but every
time I go to do it I don't haveit written down, right, so every
(32:14):
episode it's like different.
Like sometimes I get off theair.
I'm like I didn't even give mywebsite, like what am I doing
here?
Right, I'm supposed to be aprofessional podcaster.
Daphnee Uter (32:25):
Well, you're doing great.
I think you're doing great, butthank you so much for having me
Again.
My name is Daphne Uder, founderand CEO of One Life to Live
Foundation 1 at that org, or OneLife to Live Foundation 1 at
(32:46):
gmailcom or my phone number561-809-9065.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate the opportunityand to all caregivers and
veterans listening in, we willbe in touch.
Scott McLean (32:58):
Yes, thank you.
So stick around, hold on onesecond and give them money.
Give them your money.
That's in order, okay?
Well, we built another bridgetoday.
They're always beautifulbridges.
This is a beautiful bridge.
I hope you enjoyed the episode.
If you like it, share it.
If you're listening on any ofthe platforms, subscribe to it.
Tell your friends about it,tell a veteran about it.
(33:20):
If you want to get in touchwith the podcast, it's vets
connection podcast at gmailcom.
If you want to go to thewebsite, it's vets connect
podcastcom and I also have theone man one, mike foundationorg.
If you want to go to thatwebsite for my foundation.
(33:40):
It's about we teach veteranshow to podcast and the art of
storytelling and stick aroundfor the public service, the PSA.
At the end it's a.
It's a very informative 30second PSA about 988-211, all
the services that are availableto veterans, family members of
veterans, friends of veteransand civilians alike.
It's very informative.
It's only 30 seconds, so giveit a listen and I think I got
(34:04):
everything this time.
Daphne, I think I got it all in.
Daphnee Uter (34:07):
Very good.
Scott McLean (34:08):
I should have you on at the end of every episode
for me.
Keep me focused, because I didit, I got through the final, but
it won't be the same next week,next episode.
It won't be the same.
All right, everybody.
As I always say,
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