The Virtual Couch
The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.
Episodes
What do a therapist dad, his adult daughter, and a live stream full of honest questions have in common? A raw, insightful, and often hilarious live Q&A.
In this special live episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a candid conversation that covers everything from emotional immaturity and ADHD to family dynamics, addiction, and navigating a faith crisis.
With their signature mix of w...
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What if an entire generation is emotionally stuck in childhood—and doesn't even know it?
In this compelling guest appearance on The Steph and Craig Show, Tony dives deep into what he calls "the emotional immaturity epidemic" that's quietly sabotaging relationships everywhere.
Discover the hidden patterns that keep adults reacting like children: black-and-white thinking that destroys nuance, magical thinking that avoid...
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Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships.
00:00 Introduction and Host Background
01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity
02:04 A Personal Story About ...
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Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, and Tony Overbay, LMFT, delve into Ethan Kross's "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You" for another installment of the "Virtual Couch Book Club." They explore emotional awareness, sensory shifts, and cultural influences on emotional well-being. Practical techniques, such as distant self-talk and the Whoop framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), are covered, offering listeners acti...
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What if the very strategies that saved you as a child are now sabotaging your adult relationships?
In Part 2 of Tony's series on emotional immaturity, discover why your most persistent relationship struggles aren't character flaws—they're outdated survival software still running in the background of your life.
Through the powerful ACT metaphor of "The Man in the Hole," you'll understand why working harder with familia...
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May 15, 2025 • 22 mins
Have you ever watched someone you care about repeatedly return to a relationship that's clearly hurting them, despite all logic and reason? Or found yourself unable to break free from a partner who alternates between cruel indifference and intoxicating affection?
Tony Overbay, LMFT, comprehensively examines all of the factors at play in hopes of shining a light on understanding and ultimately healing from one of psychology'...
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Do you avoid difficult conversations, hoping problems will magically disappear? Do you convince yourself you don’t need to write things down, because of course you’ll remember later? Or maybe you catch yourself trying to be everything to everyone… and slowly losing yourself in the process?
Join Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Tony Overbay and his daughter Mackie, a licensed esthetician, and cosmetologist, and host of the po...
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April 25, 2025 • 69 mins
Ever wondered why your brilliant mind can solve complex problems at work but completely breaks down during relationship conflicts? That's because those emotional reactions that feel so instinctive aren't flaws—they're actually genius survival strategies that once kept you safe. In this transformative episode, we explore how black-and-white thinking, mind-reading expectations, and external validation seeking were perfect childhood a...
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April 3, 2025 • 67 mins
Have you ever found yourself wondering, How can someone possibly believe that? Or maybe you've questioned your own beliefs after bumping up against someone else's certainty? You're not alone.
In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the complexities of perception, truth, and emotional maturity. He explores how individuals often encounter differing viewpoints—especially in today’s social media-driven world—and how those ex...
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Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, speaker, and podcast host, welcomes viewers to an engaging TikTok Live session. Joined by his daughter Mackie, Tony answers questions on various topics including relationships, mental health, and narcissism. They discuss the concept of the shadow self, the 'Let Them' theory, handling emotional triggers, and the importance of differentiation in relationships. Tony offers advice...
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When Ashlee Boyson answered her door at age 28 to find detectives bearing unimaginable news—her husband murdered, an affair revealed—she became a widow with five children including a six-week-old baby. In this powerful episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony Overbay, LMFT, explores how this defining moment led Ashlee to become not just a survivor, but a guide for others navigating grief's complex terrain. Her groundbreaking book "One D...
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What happens when two first responders fall in love, face career, life, and faith crises, and embark on a radical journey of healing? How do couples navigate from survival mode to genuine connection after years of chaos and trauma?
Tony welcomes Steph and Craig Salazar, the authentic couple behind the popular podcast "The Steph and Craig Show." What begins as a reunion of newfound friends quickly transforms into a profound explo...
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February 20, 2025 • 48 mins
Every couple starts their marriage journey with hearts full of hope and eyes bright with optimism. But what happens when the fairy tale meets reality? In this compelling episode of the Virtual Couch, marriage therapist Tony Overbay takes listeners on an intimate journey through the evolution of marriage, sparked by his observation of a young newlywed couple, Hannah and Cody, during a recent podcast interview.
Drawing from ov...
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What happens when you walk face-first into a wall at the movies? For therapist Tony Overbay, it led to a deep discussion about relationships, self-worth, and the challenges of being true to yourself in a world that often demands conformity.
In this engaging episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony is joined by his daughter Mackie for their regular Sunday night Q&A session. After sharing a humorous story about his movie theater mishap ...
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February 15, 2025 • 45 mins
Tony welcomes sisters Sarah Bailey and Karla Cragg, who share a passion for enhancing the social lives of individuals with autism. They introduce their Breaking Social Barriers PEERS program, an evidence-based social skills training course designed specifically for young adults on the autism spectrum. Their program is based on UCLA’s acclaimed PEERS treatment model, the only research-backed method proven to help young adults with a...
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February 11, 2025 • 70 mins
Have you ever been told you're 'too sensitive' or that you need to ‘get over it,’ or ‘don’t worry about it,’ but that only causes you to worry more, or feel less connected to others, or even yourself? Or have you been told that your sensitivity must mean you're on the autism spectrum? Or are you on the autisim spectrum and can you also identify with many of the characteristics of Highly Sensitive People? With over 2.2 million views...
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Have you ever tried selling a grand piano on Facebook Marketplace? Our latest episode of the Q&A Files kicks off with some personal tales of downsizing and the hilarious adventures that come with it. Join us as Trisha Jamison, a board-certified functional nutritionist, and Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist and seasoned podcaster from The Virtual Couch, and Waking Up To Narcissism, discuss these issues for Tony...
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January 30, 2025 • 46 mins
Are you tired of repeating the same relationship patterns? Whether it's constant worry about abandonment or a tendency to keep people at arm's length, these behaviors - known as attachment styles - aren't set in stone.
In part one of this two-part series, therapist Tony Overbay examines the science of attachment theory, tracing its development from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's pioneering "Strange Situation" experiment t...
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In this special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, host Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a live Q&A session originally aired on TikTok. The duo addresses a variety of mental health topics, including ADHD management, the importance of setting realistic New Year's resolutions, and how to navigate emotional boundaries in relationships. Listeners can learn about the differenc...
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December 12, 2024 • 42 mins
Tony exposes something that will forever change how you hear conversations - including your own. That moment when someone says, 'I feel like you don't care' might not actually be about feelings at all..."
Have you ever said "I feel like this isn't working," when what you really meant was, "I think this isn't working - and I'm scared"? In this eye-opening episode, Tony delves into the subtle but powerful difference between th...
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