When Your Life Is the Niche: Queer Parenting, Fertility, and Being Seen Online with Christy Leonardo
December 12, 2025 • 27 mins
What if the thing you’re afraid of—being perceived—is the exact doorway to your next level?
Jazzmyn Proctor is joined by Christy Leonardo (CGO at Alcea Surrogacy, four-time surrogate, and TikTok creator) for a conversation that’s equal parts real, funny, and freeing. Christy opens up about surrogacy, queer parenting and fertility, and what it’s like to create content while your life is actively changing.
If you’ve been telling yourself “I’ll post tomorrow,” or you’re worried your friends and family will think you’re cringe—this episode will meet you right where you are and move you forward anyway.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Are you sitting with thousands of hours of B-roll
(00:02):
content and telling yourself,I'll start posting tomorrow?
Are you in your head worriedabout your friends and family
thinking your friends refusingto be visible?
Are you chasing trends insteadof building influence?
Welcome to the VisibilityStandard, where the visionaries
of today are changing the rolesof their industries and letting
their voice be heard.
I'm your host, Jasmine, and weare setting the standard.
(00:30):
I am so excited for my guesttoday.
I have been following her onTikTok for a little bit and just
seeing so many big transitions.
And honestly, I love having apodcast because it means I get
to talk to people that I reallywant to talk to.
Christy, thank you so much forjoining me today.
Thank you for having me.
So tell us first about yourwork.
(00:52):
Your CDO of Alcea Surrogacy.
How did that journey begin?
SPEAKER_01 (00:57):
Yeah, so back in 2020, when essentially the world
was shutting down, somebody Ihad known for a very long time
within the surrogacy world waslaunching her new business, and
that was a surrogacy agency.
We were both former surrogates.
We'd met each other when I firststarted in the surrogacy world
(01:17):
on a message board.
And she asked me to come on tohelp her build the business so
that we could make sure we wereproviding access to everyone who
wanted to build their family andwe wanted to make sure we were
being very inclusive.
We want to embrace diversity andwe wanted to uphold ethics
because obviously in thefertility world, ethics is very
(01:39):
important.
So when I came on to work forher, I wasn't really working
full-time at that time.
I had some other gigs.
I was working for anotherservice agency.
I had some side gigs.
I had left like a previouscorporate role and I was doing
like that stay-at-home momhybrid slash doing gig work.
And so it was perfect timingbecause I was able to be at home
(02:03):
and help build a business forhours on end.
And so now we do about 100 to150 matches a year.
And so we get to help a lot offamilies build very beautiful
experiences.
And yeah, it's very fulfillingand rewarding.
SPEAKER_00 (02:22):
You all's team also is such a reflection of the
inclusivity that you speak to,like so many different spaces,
so many, so many differentfaces, so many different body
types, and really just speakingto that your business who you
are looking for is every womanor person who's able to carry a
child.
SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
Yes.
And that was really intentional.
It was very important to us thatwe show everybody what a
surrogate looks like, right?
And so we all come in differentshapes, sizes, colors.
And also we felt like surrogacyis at the core base of it is a
female, right?
(03:02):
Is a woman who is carrying ababy for another family.
And so it really should bereflective of that.
So the majority of our employeesare all female, right?
We're female owned and operated.
And everybody on our team hashad some type of a experience
with third-party reproduction.
So whether that's surrogacy orif they were a former intended
(03:22):
parent, or maybe they workedwith family building in some way
or donor conception, somethingalong those lines.
They have some kind of lens tobring and experience to bring to
the table.
So it was really important forus to have this inclusive ethos
and really, you know, put ourmoney where our mouths are,
(03:43):
right?
So we want to make change and wewant to amplify the right kind
of voices and provide access toeveryone.
We have to make that reflectivein who we employ as well.
SPEAKER_00 (03:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (03:54):
And you've been a surrogate too, right?
SPEAKER_00 (03:56):
I've been a surrogate four times for two
different families.
Tell us about that journey.
Why is that so special for youtoo?
I remember sitting on a live andhearing you talk about it and
your face just lit up because Icould tell the immense joy you
felt being able to supportsomeone in building their
(04:19):
family.
SPEAKER_01 (04:20):
Yeah.
So usually when I tell peoplethat I've been a surrogate, they
say something along the lineslike, wow, that's such an
incredible gift.
It's like a priceless thing youcould do for somebody.
And while I do agree with that,it's an incredible sacrifice.
I also feel very humbled by itbecause it was very rewarding
for me as well.
And so when I first got intosurrogacy almost 20 years ago
(04:43):
now, I was first actuallyinterested in egg donation.
And I had already had twochildren of my own.
So that idea led me to possiblysurrogacy because that was a
little bit bigger of somethingthat I could do to make it an
impact on somebody's life.
And surrogacy is unique becausewhat you see mostly now is
(05:09):
gestational surrogacy, in whichyou're not contributing your
DNA, right?
So this embryo is created eitherfrom the intended parent's DNA
or donor or both.
And then you are just the wombcarrying that baby, helping to
nurture it until birth.
So that's also, you know, abigger impact that you can make
that maybe doesn't affect yourlife as much as being a donor.
(05:32):
However, my first three journeysI did, I actually did use my
egg.
So those three children, they'reall for the same family, two gay
men that I love dearly.
And that completed their family.
So I had three children forthem, and I thought, okay, I'm
done.
I did something great in theworld, and now I can retire and
(05:54):
move on with life.
And so I ended up doingreciprocal IBF with my partner
at the time.
And so we took my partner'seggs, we had a sperm donor, and
then we created embryos, andthen I had a child.
And that child's 10 years oldnow.
But when she was about fouryears old, I started kind of
(06:15):
getting the itch again.
I was asked to do to write acouple blogs for various media,
and it had me thinking aboutsurrogacy.
And so when a friend approachedme about doing it again, I
thought, okay, maybe I'll justdo one more.
And so I did a gestationalsurrogacy at that time.
So that child's not biologicallyrelated to me, heterosexual
(06:37):
couples.
So it's a much differentexperience.
And it was still just asfulfilling.
I still get updates.
I get to see how all of thesechildren grow.
Actually, the first child I hadvia surrogacy just got his
driver's license.
So it's kind of interesting.
Yeah, like these milestones thatthat I get to be a part of, but
(07:00):
I have, you know, actually nolike parental responsibility,
which is very nice.
SPEAKER_00 (07:06):
And now you share about surrogacy motherhood a
little comedy on TikTok.
I do.
That was how you got startedinto creating content.
SPEAKER_01 (07:17):
So I was one of those people that during COVID,
when everybody was downloadingTikTok, I said, What is this
app?
This is just a waste of time.
Why are people on this?
And why are people dancing?
And I thought it was so silly.
So I actually didn't create anaccount until a little bit
later.
I think maybe it was like 2021or 2022.
And I created it for the purposeof my business to try to just
(07:41):
share, you know, information.
And I did a couple very cringywhen I look back at them now
posts.
And they really didn't goanywhere.
And so then I kind of let it liefor a while.
And then I came back when Iwanted to just have a creative
outlet and connect with othermoms on the internet.
(08:02):
And so I started creating likelifestyle mom content.
And I was spending a lot of timecreating that content.
And I was getting very fewviews.
I was not gaining a lot offollowers.
I think that, you know, I'm 43now.
And I just think that the marketfor that motherhood content is
really geared towards like20-year-olds and maybe even like
(08:26):
young 30-year-olds.
So it just wasn't working.
And then I just started havingfun with TikTok.
And I was like, you know what?
Now I'm just going to use it asa creative outlet for whatever I
want.
And I kind of put like a littlehot topic lesbian video out of
talking about how I don't likeCrocs and Taylor Swift.
And oh my gosh, if you talkabout either one of those things
(08:48):
on the internet, I think they'rehot button topics.
And so I got a lot of views andthen a lot of followers off of
that.
And so then I kind of startedjust creating lesbian content
and tried to mesh it in with whoI am, which is like kind of
girly.
I love makeup clothes and thingslike that.
So I was creating those videosand they did really well.
(09:10):
And so I think TikTok told mewhat my niche was, and that's
the direction that I went into.
And then just recently I createda new account to share
information about, sorry, excuseme.
Information about surrogacy,third-party reproduction,
(09:31):
fertility, you know, because Ihave a lot of experience with
that and that world.
Queer parenting.
I don't think we have enoughcontent about queer parenting
and what that looks like.
So we'll see.
It's brand new, but I'm kind ofyou know doing both of those
things for content right now.
SPEAKER_00 (09:48):
Yeah.
What's been the most rewardingand challenging parts of
creating content?
SPEAKER_01 (09:55):
I think the most rewarding is connecting with
people online that you might nothave before.
So I've met a lot of reallyincredible people.
And also I just think TikTok,out of all the social media
platforms, it really is healing.
Like a lot of people say thatthey've discovered so many new
things by just watching otherpeople's videos.
(10:18):
And I agree with that.
I definitely feel like I found aplace where I felt community
where I never did before.
And so I keep gravitatingtowards that platform and I hope
it sticks around and I hope thatwe can keep that same kind of
culture because it's been reallyrewarding for me.
I think the downside is like anysocial media, when you start to
(10:41):
get a little too invested infollower count, view count,
engagement, because you do spenda lot of time creating.
And when you don't, it can be alittle discouraging.
(11:02):
So I think it's one of thosethings where you just need to
check in with yourself and say,hey, am I still enjoying what
I'm doing?
Am I creating content for thepurpose of myself or is it for
others?
Is it a combination of both?
Because I do think there's valuein that as well.
SPEAKER_00 (11:17):
I definitely see like the rise in conversation
around people wanting to becontent creators or wanting to
have content like as aprofession.
And it's like the key thing isyou really have to enjoy it
first because you sit at 50views for a long time.
And yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:37):
What's funny is I just talking to you now, I just
put this together, but it's kindof like surrogacy if you think
about it.
So getting into surrogacy, a lotof people think a woman is doing
this for the money, right?
So people might think likepeople are doing social media
for monetization for money.
But at the core of it, you haveto actually enjoy what you're
doing and want to do it for thatpersonal fulfillment.
(12:01):
Otherwise, it's not a quickpaycheck.
It's never going to be easymoney.
You really have to be committedand dedicated.
And then if you're enjoying itand you're also benefiting from
it monetarily, I think that'slike the magic recipe.
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
Oh my gosh.
That's like a fire analogybecause I'm, yes, content is
something you have to nurture.
It's something that builds overtime.
It's something that you learn.
You have to really kind of likepay attention to it and enjoy
it.
And it is like bringing adifferent life into the world.
It's it's a creation that you'rebringing into the world that
(12:37):
takes time, effort, energy, andpatience.
I think that's been a big musclethat I've had to exercise in
like creating content for sure.
SPEAKER_01 (12:48):
And I think both of those things also meet
adversity, right?
So people tend to look at socialmedia creators with a negative
light, just like they look atsurrogates in a negative light.
When if you think about it, whydo people care so much if
somebody is creating?
I liken social media to artsometimes.
(13:08):
So like you're creating an artor you're putting your voice out
there, it's a platform.
And people can subscribe to thator not, right?
Like, so we all have differenttastes in music and art.
It doesn't mean we have tolisten to everything or watch
everything.
And it's the same with socialmedia.
Seriously is the same, it's notfor everybody, and that's okay.
A lot of women will say, I couldnever do that.
(13:31):
And I say, That's right, noteverybody can do this, and it's
good if you know you can't do itthat you don't try and do it.
SPEAKER_00 (13:38):
It's not meant for everybody.
Exactly.
It doesn't have to be.
I saw something recently, andI'd love to get your take on it.
Uh, someone was speaking to howwhen creators get to a certain
point, they're making that moneyand their lifestyle changes.
You rec you recognize okay, theyare making more money.
(13:58):
Uh, and then the same audiencethat uplifted them and got to
got them to that point is nowlike, why are you flaunting your
money?
It's not a real job.
Like the if they'll do a what doyou think of that?
SPEAKER_01 (14:13):
I mean, I think that anybody who starts to gain more
financial capital is going toprobably change their lifestyle,
and that's normal.
I think what's a little bizarreis changing your core values and
(14:34):
principles.
And so I think no matter howmuch money you have and gain,
you know, wealth is somethingthat can go up or down.
I don't think that it shouldchange your personality.
It shouldn't, it might changeyour lifestyle, right?
Perhaps you do have differentfriends, you're living in
(14:54):
different neighborhoods, but Istill think you should have that
humble, you know, beginningstype of origin story.
Um, I actually grew up verypoor.
And so I always reflect on howgrateful I am to be where I'm at
now.
I've never had anybody, youknow, give me a leg up.
(15:16):
I actually have definitely hadto build my own, you know, life
myself.
And who knows, if I ever becamewealthy, I would hope I wouldn't
change my attitude and myprinciples and values.
But I definitely, it is sad tosee that with larger creators
because I think they gainedtheir following by people who
(15:38):
felt they could relate to them.
And so then if they're notrelatable anymore, why are they
following them?
SPEAKER_00 (15:46):
Did people assume your surrogacy journey was for
money based on your upbringing?
SPEAKER_01 (15:55):
I think a lot of people do assume that most
surrogates are getting intosurrogacy for money.
And I do think that surrogacycompensation is well deserved.
It's very important.
Everybody should be compensatedfor what they put themselves
through.
A surrogate is the at most risk,right?
She could lose her life andshe's a mother.
(16:16):
She's could be a wife orpartner.
That impact is great.
And so surrogacy compensation issomething I deeply believe in.
I do think that the amount youask is a personal thing.
My first three journeys werevery, very low compensation.
Even all three added up todaywouldn't even meet what the
minimum compensation women aremaking.
(16:38):
And so I can definitely say Iwasn't in it for the money.
Did it improve my life?
Of course.
It improves everybody's lives.
We went on trips.
I even paid off like some smalldebts.
There's various different thingsthat women can do with their
compensation that I think can bevery helpful.
But a surrogate has to befinancially stable in order to
do surrogacy.
(16:59):
So that's another misconceptionwhere people think women are
doing this in order to surviveor for monetary purposes because
they feel like they have to.
And that's just simply not thecase.
Because if you really break downthe total length of time you're
doing this, you're makingpennies per hour.
Like it's not really fast money.
(17:22):
There's other ways to come up ifyou need to.
But yeah, that assumption'salways there when you tell
people.
SPEAKER_00 (17:29):
Yeah.
Where do you think themisconceptions about surrogacy
come from?
Because I mean, you're carryinga life for nine months, you're
planning with a family to bringthis life into the world.
I don't know if there's anyamount of money really that
could fully compensate for whata woman offers and puts their
(17:52):
body through to do that.
So, where do you think thenegative conceptions really come
from?
SPEAKER_01 (17:59):
So I think that one, there's always gonna be people
who feel uncomfortable, right,with this idea of somebody
carrying somebody else's babybecause having a baby, being
pregnant, going through thatprocess is really the social
standardized thought is this isa man and a woman who get
married, then they have a childtogether, right?
(18:21):
So I think the thought is thatthis is a very intimate
experience, and it is.
I think the parties involved init just depend on how you know
somebody builds their family,and not everybody can get
pregnant.
Or let's talk about queerparents, right?
You need a third party in orderto conceive because you can't do
that with two same-sex partners.
(18:43):
But I think the misconceptions,besides people feeling like it's
odd and strange and weird, wouldbe like media, stories.
I don't know how many movies andbooks I've seen that it's like
the surrogate mother ispositioned as this like either
poor or destitute woman, orshe's like having an affair with
(19:07):
usually it's like the man in therelationship, and then they're
having a child together.
And and those situations are notreal, right?
So those are not real lifesurrogacy situations, those are
really made-up like telenovelastyle stories that people find
interesting because I thinkwe're all addicted to the T.
We're all addicted to thosesalacious stories that we see
(19:32):
online.
And if surrogacy can bepositioned in that same way,
then people gravitate towardsthose stories and those get
amplified versus, you know, oh,these two people had a surrogate
and everything was great.
Nobody's promoting that storybecause they just they're not
gaining any kind ofentertainment from it,
(19:53):
unfortunately.
SPEAKER_00 (19:56):
100%.
I think a lot of what we seesometimes.
In media and news is likeentertainment purpose, what's
going to get the most clicks.
I think that's right now whereI'm really struggling with
social media is everything needsto be clickworthy.
You want to have the first hottake or you want to have the
first idea out there so you canget the most views.
(20:18):
And I really struggle with itsometimes.
SPEAKER_01 (20:22):
I think that is probably another downside to
social media, especially withTikTok or any video content
platform, because people'sattention spans have really
reduced.
So it can't just be where youget on and start speaking within
that first one or two seconds.
You have to do something to keepyour viewer engaged or they drop
(20:43):
off.
And it's really interesting thatnow we're even in this time
where you need to have two,three, four, five hooks to keep
somebody engaged in a 27-secondvideo.
SPEAKER_00 (20:56):
Yeah.
What's the future of content foryou?
SPEAKER_01 (21:01):
I think that's a good question that I'm still
exploring as well.
So I'm still just having fun,but I think because I'm so close
to, you know, everybody has thatmilestone of 10,000 because
after you reach 10,000followers, you can monetize.
So obviously that's a goal ofmine because I think that would
be fun, right?
(21:22):
That would be really cool to dosomething like that.
Because when you spend a lot oftime on creating a video and it
gets so many views, you want toreturn on that investment.
But I don't know, I've latelyhave been thinking a lot about
it, and I think I just want tocreate content that I feel like
maybe makes people laugh, makespeople feel seen and heard.
(21:44):
You know, I've been goingthrough my own healing journey
and I love sharing contentthat's related to that, but I
also like to share likelighthearted and funny things
too, because I want to berelatable to people.
I want to bring value topeople's lives.
And I think that's just kind ofwhere my content is headed.
I want to definitely use thenewer account that I created for
(22:10):
educational purposes, but keepmy own kind of font on it,
right?
My own style.
And I've been dabbling a lotwith like doing content with my
girlfriend too, and doing likefunny lesbian content together.
And we have a lot of fun doingthat.
So I think we're gonna keepdoing that too.
Even if we just if we don't geta lot of views, it's it's fun
(22:32):
for us and it's time well spenttogether.
SPEAKER_00 (22:36):
What has it been like to create at such a
transitional time for you?
SPEAKER_01 (22:42):
It's been up and down, right?
Because one, you're being verypublic with people, so it's very
vulnerable to share personalinformation.
But I also find it to be veryhealing because so much of my
trauma I've kind of hacked awayand suppressed and hid for so
many years.
I mean, I think prior to TikTokwhen I was on Instagram, that's
(23:05):
a very curated space.
So I look back at my posts andhow I was only sharing the good
things and only sharing likethis kind of high-level view of
a curated life, and that's justnot real.
And so I kind of like this alittle bit messy area where
(23:27):
people can feel like, hey,that's me too.
I'm going through that samething, or you never know what
somebody's going through, right?
And there are times when I thinksome people are in very dark
spaces.
If they see somebody else that'srelatable on the internet, it
can help them.
And I think that that's reallyimportant.
(23:47):
And I think we need to stopbeing so worried about putting
forth this image that's perfectand wonderful.
And so even though there'sthings that are uncomfortable, I
think it's like it's good forme, right?
It's pushing me, it's helping megrow, and that's really what I
need right now.
SPEAKER_00 (24:06):
I think that's one of the biggest reasons why
people gravitate towards TikTokover Instagram, is that tick
tick, TikTok really introducedthis storytelling aspect where
people were coming on asthemselves, just woke up eating
lunch, and they're sharingaspects of their story versus
(24:27):
Instagram.
You've got to put it on a cutecarousel or you've gotta light
up your grid.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
And I still think there's value in that.
I mean, I still like to havesome like photos that are, you
know, like really nicelylooking, like a food or of, you
know, whatever you're doing.
That's very lifestyle on brand.
But I think for TikTok, it'sgood to do, you know, various
different mediums of content.
(24:57):
So you can do something funny,you can do something serious,
you can share something in themoment.
Trends, trends are fun too.
I mean, it's just like a goodway for us all to have a little
kiki together without having tobe in person, right?
It connects you virtually, andthat's really, really nice.
SPEAKER_00 (25:18):
Yeah, it's a lighter medium.
I'll go and one thing I learnedwas like cross-posting.
And so I would make something onTikTok and try and put it on
Instagram, and I learned thatokay, not everything lands on
Instagram, and then I'll go makesomething on Instagram and be
like, damn it, on TikTok.
SPEAKER_01 (25:37):
I had a viral video on Instagram and not in a good
way.
That literally everybody onTikTok thought it was cute and
funny, but on Instagram, I wasroasted, and it was just
interesting, like the variousdifferent types of people that
are on each platform.
And it's yeah, I'm back atTikTok.
(25:59):
It's more fun over there.
I still have an Instagram, butit's just a little bit different
of an audience.
SPEAKER_00 (26:07):
Definitely, yeah, it'd come a little differently
for exactly.
Exactly.
Well, Christy, I loved talkingwith you.
Thank you so much for your timetoday.
Where can people find you ifthey're interested in checking
your content out and learningmore about surrogacy?
SPEAKER_01 (26:24):
Yeah, so my main account on TikTok is Christy
with a C, and that's S-E-A.
It's a funny little pun.
And that's where I kind ofcreate like more lighthearted
and lesbian content for myprofession, more professional,
although it's still very sillyand fun.
That's Alt Conceptions, so ALTconceptions, and that's where
(26:46):
I'm gonna be sharing a lot aboutqueer parenting, fertility,
surrogacy.
I'm gonna probably start puttingsome like stories and some
surrogacy tea too, because eventhough there's a lot of ethics
and things that we uphold withinour own agency, there's a lot of
bad, you know, actors in thisworld too.
(27:07):
And so we want to call out whenpeople are doing things like
that too.
So I think there'll be some funstories to be shared.
SPEAKER_00 (27:14):
Oh, I'm excited to see this journey unfold.
Yeah.
Well, everything will be linkedin the show notes.
Thank you again for joining me.
SPEAKER_01 (27:22):
Thank you.
It was great.
Are you sitting with thousands of hours of B-roll
(00:02):
content and telling yourself,I'll start posting tomorrow?
Are you in your head worriedabout your friends and family
thinking your friends refusingto be visible?
Are you chasing trends insteadof building influence?
Welcome to the VisibilityStandard, where the visionaries
of today are changing the rolesof their industries and letting
their voice be heard.
I'm your host, Jasmine, and weare setting the standard.
(00:30):
I am so excited for my guesttoday.
I have been following her onTikTok for a little bit and just
seeing so many big transitions.
And honestly, I love having apodcast because it means I get
to talk to people that I reallywant to talk to.
Christy, thank you so much forjoining me today.
Thank you for having me.
So tell us first about yourwork.
(00:52):
Your CDO of Alcea Surrogacy.
How did that journey begin?
SPEAKER_01 (00:57):
Yeah, so back in 2020, when essentially the world
was shutting down, somebody Ihad known for a very long time
within the surrogacy world waslaunching her new business, and
that was a surrogacy agency.
We were both former surrogates.
We'd met each other when I firststarted in the surrogacy world
(01:17):
on a message board.
And she asked me to come on tohelp her build the business so
that we could make sure we wereproviding access to everyone who
wanted to build their family andwe wanted to make sure we were
being very inclusive.
We want to embrace diversity andwe wanted to uphold ethics
because obviously in thefertility world, ethics is very
(01:39):
important.
So when I came on to work forher, I wasn't really working
full-time at that time.
I had some other gigs.
I was working for anotherservice agency.
I had some side gigs.
I had left like a previouscorporate role and I was doing
like that stay-at-home momhybrid slash doing gig work.
And so it was perfect timingbecause I was able to be at home
(02:03):
and help build a business forhours on end.
And so now we do about 100 to150 matches a year.
And so we get to help a lot offamilies build very beautiful
experiences.
And yeah, it's very fulfillingand rewarding.
SPEAKER_00 (02:22):
You all's team also is such a reflection of the
inclusivity that you speak to,like so many different spaces,
so many, so many differentfaces, so many different body
types, and really just speakingto that your business who you
are looking for is every womanor person who's able to carry a
child.
SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
Yes.
And that was really intentional.
It was very important to us thatwe show everybody what a
surrogate looks like, right?
And so we all come in differentshapes, sizes, colors.
And also we felt like surrogacyis at the core base of it is a
female, right?
(03:02):
Is a woman who is carrying ababy for another family.
And so it really should bereflective of that.
So the majority of our employeesare all female, right?
We're female owned and operated.
And everybody on our team hashad some type of a experience
with third-party reproduction.
So whether that's surrogacy orif they were a former intended
(03:22):
parent, or maybe they workedwith family building in some way
or donor conception, somethingalong those lines.
They have some kind of lens tobring and experience to bring to
the table.
So it was really important forus to have this inclusive ethos
and really, you know, put ourmoney where our mouths are,
(03:43):
right?
So we want to make change and wewant to amplify the right kind
of voices and provide access toeveryone.
We have to make that reflectivein who we employ as well.
SPEAKER_00 (03:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (03:54):
And you've been a surrogate too, right?
SPEAKER_00 (03:56):
I've been a surrogate four times for two
different families.
Tell us about that journey.
Why is that so special for youtoo?
I remember sitting on a live andhearing you talk about it and
your face just lit up because Icould tell the immense joy you
felt being able to supportsomeone in building their
(04:19):
family.
SPEAKER_01 (04:20):
Yeah.
So usually when I tell peoplethat I've been a surrogate, they
say something along the lineslike, wow, that's such an
incredible gift.
It's like a priceless thing youcould do for somebody.
And while I do agree with that,it's an incredible sacrifice.
I also feel very humbled by itbecause it was very rewarding
for me as well.
And so when I first got intosurrogacy almost 20 years ago
(04:43):
now, I was first actuallyinterested in egg donation.
And I had already had twochildren of my own.
So that idea led me to possiblysurrogacy because that was a
little bit bigger of somethingthat I could do to make it an
impact on somebody's life.
And surrogacy is unique becausewhat you see mostly now is
(05:09):
gestational surrogacy, in whichyou're not contributing your
DNA, right?
So this embryo is created eitherfrom the intended parent's DNA
or donor or both.
And then you are just the wombcarrying that baby, helping to
nurture it until birth.
So that's also, you know, abigger impact that you can make
that maybe doesn't affect yourlife as much as being a donor.
(05:32):
However, my first three journeysI did, I actually did use my
egg.
So those three children, they'reall for the same family, two gay
men that I love dearly.
And that completed their family.
So I had three children forthem, and I thought, okay, I'm
done.
I did something great in theworld, and now I can retire and
(05:54):
move on with life.
And so I ended up doingreciprocal IBF with my partner
at the time.
And so we took my partner'seggs, we had a sperm donor, and
then we created embryos, andthen I had a child.
And that child's 10 years oldnow.
But when she was about fouryears old, I started kind of
(06:15):
getting the itch again.
I was asked to do to write acouple blogs for various media,
and it had me thinking aboutsurrogacy.
And so when a friend approachedme about doing it again, I
thought, okay, maybe I'll justdo one more.
And so I did a gestationalsurrogacy at that time.
So that child's not biologicallyrelated to me, heterosexual
(06:37):
couples.
So it's a much differentexperience.
And it was still just asfulfilling.
I still get updates.
I get to see how all of thesechildren grow.
Actually, the first child I hadvia surrogacy just got his
driver's license.
So it's kind of interesting.
Yeah, like these milestones thatthat I get to be a part of, but
(07:00):
I have, you know, actually nolike parental responsibility,
which is very nice.
SPEAKER_00 (07:06):
And now you share about surrogacy motherhood a
little comedy on TikTok.
I do.
That was how you got startedinto creating content.
SPEAKER_01 (07:17):
So I was one of those people that during COVID,
when everybody was downloadingTikTok, I said, What is this
app?
This is just a waste of time.
Why are people on this?
And why are people dancing?
And I thought it was so silly.
So I actually didn't create anaccount until a little bit
later.
I think maybe it was like 2021or 2022.
And I created it for the purposeof my business to try to just
(07:41):
share, you know, information.
And I did a couple very cringywhen I look back at them now
posts.
And they really didn't goanywhere.
And so then I kind of let it liefor a while.
And then I came back when Iwanted to just have a creative
outlet and connect with othermoms on the internet.
(08:02):
And so I started creating likelifestyle mom content.
And I was spending a lot of timecreating that content.
And I was getting very fewviews.
I was not gaining a lot offollowers.
I think that, you know, I'm 43now.
And I just think that the marketfor that motherhood content is
really geared towards like20-year-olds and maybe even like
(08:26):
young 30-year-olds.
So it just wasn't working.
And then I just started havingfun with TikTok.
And I was like, you know what?
Now I'm just going to use it asa creative outlet for whatever I
want.
And I kind of put like a littlehot topic lesbian video out of
talking about how I don't likeCrocs and Taylor Swift.
And oh my gosh, if you talkabout either one of those things
(08:48):
on the internet, I think they'rehot button topics.
And so I got a lot of views andthen a lot of followers off of
that.
And so then I kind of startedjust creating lesbian content
and tried to mesh it in with whoI am, which is like kind of
girly.
I love makeup clothes and thingslike that.
So I was creating those videosand they did really well.
(09:10):
And so I think TikTok told mewhat my niche was, and that's
the direction that I went into.
And then just recently I createda new account to share
information about, sorry, excuseme.
Information about surrogacy,third-party reproduction,
(09:31):
fertility, you know, because Ihave a lot of experience with
that and that world.
Queer parenting.
I don't think we have enoughcontent about queer parenting
and what that looks like.
So we'll see.
It's brand new, but I'm kind ofyou know doing both of those
things for content right now.
SPEAKER_00 (09:48):
Yeah.
What's been the most rewardingand challenging parts of
creating content?
SPEAKER_01 (09:55):
I think the most rewarding is connecting with
people online that you might nothave before.
So I've met a lot of reallyincredible people.
And also I just think TikTok,out of all the social media
platforms, it really is healing.
Like a lot of people say thatthey've discovered so many new
things by just watching otherpeople's videos.
(10:18):
And I agree with that.
I definitely feel like I found aplace where I felt community
where I never did before.
And so I keep gravitatingtowards that platform and I hope
it sticks around and I hope thatwe can keep that same kind of
culture because it's been reallyrewarding for me.
I think the downside is like anysocial media, when you start to
(10:41):
get a little too invested infollower count, view count,
engagement, because you do spenda lot of time creating.
And when you don't, it can be alittle discouraging.
(11:02):
So I think it's one of thosethings where you just need to
check in with yourself and say,hey, am I still enjoying what
I'm doing?
Am I creating content for thepurpose of myself or is it for
others?
Is it a combination of both?
Because I do think there's valuein that as well.
SPEAKER_00 (11:17):
I definitely see like the rise in conversation
around people wanting to becontent creators or wanting to
have content like as aprofession.
And it's like the key thing isyou really have to enjoy it
first because you sit at 50views for a long time.
And yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:37):
What's funny is I just talking to you now, I just
put this together, but it's kindof like surrogacy if you think
about it.
So getting into surrogacy, a lotof people think a woman is doing
this for the money, right?
So people might think likepeople are doing social media
for monetization for money.
But at the core of it, you haveto actually enjoy what you're
doing and want to do it for thatpersonal fulfillment.
(12:01):
Otherwise, it's not a quickpaycheck.
It's never going to be easymoney.
You really have to be committedand dedicated.
And then if you're enjoying itand you're also benefiting from
it monetarily, I think that'slike the magic recipe.
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
Oh my gosh.
That's like a fire analogybecause I'm, yes, content is
something you have to nurture.
It's something that builds overtime.
It's something that you learn.
You have to really kind of likepay attention to it and enjoy
it.
And it is like bringing adifferent life into the world.
It's it's a creation that you'rebringing into the world that
(12:37):
takes time, effort, energy, andpatience.
I think that's been a big musclethat I've had to exercise in
like creating content for sure.
SPEAKER_01 (12:48):
And I think both of those things also meet
adversity, right?
So people tend to look at socialmedia creators with a negative
light, just like they look atsurrogates in a negative light.
When if you think about it, whydo people care so much if
somebody is creating?
I liken social media to artsometimes.
(13:08):
So like you're creating an artor you're putting your voice out
there, it's a platform.
And people can subscribe to thator not, right?
Like, so we all have differenttastes in music and art.
It doesn't mean we have tolisten to everything or watch
everything.
And it's the same with socialmedia.
Seriously is the same, it's notfor everybody, and that's okay.
A lot of women will say, I couldnever do that.
(13:31):
And I say, That's right, noteverybody can do this, and it's
good if you know you can't do itthat you don't try and do it.
SPEAKER_00 (13:38):
It's not meant for everybody.
Exactly.
It doesn't have to be.
I saw something recently, andI'd love to get your take on it.
Uh, someone was speaking to howwhen creators get to a certain
point, they're making that moneyand their lifestyle changes.
You rec you recognize okay, theyare making more money.
(13:58):
Uh, and then the same audiencethat uplifted them and got to
got them to that point is nowlike, why are you flaunting your
money?
It's not a real job.
Like the if they'll do a what doyou think of that?
SPEAKER_01 (14:13):
I mean, I think that anybody who starts to gain more
financial capital is going toprobably change their lifestyle,
and that's normal.
I think what's a little bizarreis changing your core values and
(14:34):
principles.
And so I think no matter howmuch money you have and gain,
you know, wealth is somethingthat can go up or down.
I don't think that it shouldchange your personality.
It shouldn't, it might changeyour lifestyle, right?
Perhaps you do have differentfriends, you're living in
(14:54):
different neighborhoods, but Istill think you should have that
humble, you know, beginningstype of origin story.
Um, I actually grew up verypoor.
And so I always reflect on howgrateful I am to be where I'm at
now.
I've never had anybody, youknow, give me a leg up.
(15:16):
I actually have definitely hadto build my own, you know, life
myself.
And who knows, if I ever becamewealthy, I would hope I wouldn't
change my attitude and myprinciples and values.
But I definitely, it is sad tosee that with larger creators
because I think they gainedtheir following by people who
(15:38):
felt they could relate to them.
And so then if they're notrelatable anymore, why are they
following them?
SPEAKER_00 (15:46):
Did people assume your surrogacy journey was for
money based on your upbringing?
SPEAKER_01 (15:55):
I think a lot of people do assume that most
surrogates are getting intosurrogacy for money.
And I do think that surrogacycompensation is well deserved.
It's very important.
Everybody should be compensatedfor what they put themselves
through.
A surrogate is the at most risk,right?
She could lose her life andshe's a mother.
(16:16):
She's could be a wife orpartner.
That impact is great.
And so surrogacy compensation issomething I deeply believe in.
I do think that the amount youask is a personal thing.
My first three journeys werevery, very low compensation.
Even all three added up todaywouldn't even meet what the
minimum compensation women aremaking.
(16:38):
And so I can definitely say Iwasn't in it for the money.
Did it improve my life?
Of course.
It improves everybody's lives.
We went on trips.
I even paid off like some smalldebts.
There's various different thingsthat women can do with their
compensation that I think can bevery helpful.
But a surrogate has to befinancially stable in order to
do surrogacy.
(16:59):
So that's another misconceptionwhere people think women are
doing this in order to surviveor for monetary purposes because
they feel like they have to.
And that's just simply not thecase.
Because if you really break downthe total length of time you're
doing this, you're makingpennies per hour.
Like it's not really fast money.
(17:22):
There's other ways to come up ifyou need to.
But yeah, that assumption'salways there when you tell
people.
SPEAKER_00 (17:29):
Yeah.
Where do you think themisconceptions about surrogacy
come from?
Because I mean, you're carryinga life for nine months, you're
planning with a family to bringthis life into the world.
I don't know if there's anyamount of money really that
could fully compensate for whata woman offers and puts their
(17:52):
body through to do that.
So, where do you think thenegative conceptions really come
from?
SPEAKER_01 (17:59):
So I think that one, there's always gonna be people
who feel uncomfortable, right,with this idea of somebody
carrying somebody else's babybecause having a baby, being
pregnant, going through thatprocess is really the social
standardized thought is this isa man and a woman who get
married, then they have a childtogether, right?
(18:21):
So I think the thought is thatthis is a very intimate
experience, and it is.
I think the parties involved init just depend on how you know
somebody builds their family,and not everybody can get
pregnant.
Or let's talk about queerparents, right?
You need a third party in orderto conceive because you can't do
that with two same-sex partners.
(18:43):
But I think the misconceptions,besides people feeling like it's
odd and strange and weird, wouldbe like media, stories.
I don't know how many movies andbooks I've seen that it's like
the surrogate mother ispositioned as this like either
poor or destitute woman, orshe's like having an affair with
(19:07):
usually it's like the man in therelationship, and then they're
having a child together.
And and those situations are notreal, right?
So those are not real lifesurrogacy situations, those are
really made-up like telenovelastyle stories that people find
interesting because I thinkwe're all addicted to the T.
We're all addicted to thosesalacious stories that we see
(19:32):
online.
And if surrogacy can bepositioned in that same way,
then people gravitate towardsthose stories and those get
amplified versus, you know, oh,these two people had a surrogate
and everything was great.
Nobody's promoting that storybecause they just they're not
gaining any kind ofentertainment from it,
(19:53):
unfortunately.
SPEAKER_00 (19:56):
100%.
I think a lot of what we seesometimes.
In media and news is likeentertainment purpose, what's
going to get the most clicks.
I think that's right now whereI'm really struggling with
social media is everything needsto be clickworthy.
You want to have the first hottake or you want to have the
first idea out there so you canget the most views.
(20:18):
And I really struggle with itsometimes.
SPEAKER_01 (20:22):
I think that is probably another downside to
social media, especially withTikTok or any video content
platform, because people'sattention spans have really
reduced.
So it can't just be where youget on and start speaking within
that first one or two seconds.
You have to do something to keepyour viewer engaged or they drop
(20:43):
off.
And it's really interesting thatnow we're even in this time
where you need to have two,three, four, five hooks to keep
somebody engaged in a 27-secondvideo.
SPEAKER_00 (20:56):
Yeah.
What's the future of content foryou?
SPEAKER_01 (21:01):
I think that's a good question that I'm still
exploring as well.
So I'm still just having fun,but I think because I'm so close
to, you know, everybody has thatmilestone of 10,000 because
after you reach 10,000followers, you can monetize.
So obviously that's a goal ofmine because I think that would
be fun, right?
(21:22):
That would be really cool to dosomething like that.
Because when you spend a lot oftime on creating a video and it
gets so many views, you want toreturn on that investment.
But I don't know, I've latelyhave been thinking a lot about
it, and I think I just want tocreate content that I feel like
maybe makes people laugh, makespeople feel seen and heard.
(21:44):
You know, I've been goingthrough my own healing journey
and I love sharing contentthat's related to that, but I
also like to share likelighthearted and funny things
too, because I want to berelatable to people.
I want to bring value topeople's lives.
And I think that's just kind ofwhere my content is headed.
I want to definitely use thenewer account that I created for
(22:10):
educational purposes, but keepmy own kind of font on it,
right?
My own style.
And I've been dabbling a lotwith like doing content with my
girlfriend too, and doing likefunny lesbian content together.
And we have a lot of fun doingthat.
So I think we're gonna keepdoing that too.
Even if we just if we don't geta lot of views, it's it's fun
(22:32):
for us and it's time well spenttogether.
SPEAKER_00 (22:36):
What has it been like to create at such a
transitional time for you?
SPEAKER_01 (22:42):
It's been up and down, right?
Because one, you're being verypublic with people, so it's very
vulnerable to share personalinformation.
But I also find it to be veryhealing because so much of my
trauma I've kind of hacked awayand suppressed and hid for so
many years.
I mean, I think prior to TikTokwhen I was on Instagram, that's
(23:05):
a very curated space.
So I look back at my posts andhow I was only sharing the good
things and only sharing likethis kind of high-level view of
a curated life, and that's justnot real.
And so I kind of like this alittle bit messy area where
(23:27):
people can feel like, hey,that's me too.
I'm going through that samething, or you never know what
somebody's going through, right?
And there are times when I thinksome people are in very dark
spaces.
If they see somebody else that'srelatable on the internet, it
can help them.
And I think that that's reallyimportant.
(23:47):
And I think we need to stopbeing so worried about putting
forth this image that's perfectand wonderful.
And so even though there'sthings that are uncomfortable, I
think it's like it's good forme, right?
It's pushing me, it's helping megrow, and that's really what I
need right now.
SPEAKER_00 (24:06):
I think that's one of the biggest reasons why
people gravitate towards TikTokover Instagram, is that tick
tick, TikTok really introducedthis storytelling aspect where
people were coming on asthemselves, just woke up eating
lunch, and they're sharingaspects of their story versus
(24:27):
Instagram.
You've got to put it on a cutecarousel or you've gotta light
up your grid.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
And I still think there's value in that.
I mean, I still like to havesome like photos that are, you
know, like really nicelylooking, like a food or of, you
know, whatever you're doing.
That's very lifestyle on brand.
But I think for TikTok, it'sgood to do, you know, various
different mediums of content.
(24:57):
So you can do something funny,you can do something serious,
you can share something in themoment.
Trends, trends are fun too.
I mean, it's just like a goodway for us all to have a little
kiki together without having tobe in person, right?
It connects you virtually, andthat's really, really nice.
SPEAKER_00 (25:18):
Yeah, it's a lighter medium.
I'll go and one thing I learnedwas like cross-posting.
And so I would make something onTikTok and try and put it on
Instagram, and I learned thatokay, not everything lands on
Instagram, and then I'll go makesomething on Instagram and be
like, damn it, on TikTok.
SPEAKER_01 (25:37):
I had a viral video on Instagram and not in a good
way.
That literally everybody onTikTok thought it was cute and
funny, but on Instagram, I wasroasted, and it was just
interesting, like the variousdifferent types of people that
are on each platform.
And it's yeah, I'm back atTikTok.
(25:59):
It's more fun over there.
I still have an Instagram, butit's just a little bit different
of an audience.
SPEAKER_00 (26:07):
Definitely, yeah, it'd come a little differently
for exactly.
Exactly.
Well, Christy, I loved talkingwith you.
Thank you so much for your timetoday.
Where can people find you ifthey're interested in checking
your content out and learningmore about surrogacy?
SPEAKER_01 (26:24):
Yeah, so my main account on TikTok is Christy
with a C, and that's S-E-A.
It's a funny little pun.
And that's where I kind ofcreate like more lighthearted
and lesbian content for myprofession, more professional,
although it's still very sillyand fun.
That's Alt Conceptions, so ALTconceptions, and that's where
(26:46):
I'm gonna be sharing a lot aboutqueer parenting, fertility,
surrogacy.
I'm gonna probably start puttingsome like stories and some
surrogacy tea too, because eventhough there's a lot of ethics
and things that we uphold withinour own agency, there's a lot of
bad, you know, actors in thisworld too.
(27:07):
And so we want to call out whenpeople are doing things like
that too.
So I think there'll be some funstories to be shared.
SPEAKER_00 (27:14):
Oh, I'm excited to see this journey unfold.
Yeah.
Well, everything will be linkedin the show notes.
Thank you again for joining me.
SPEAKER_01 (27:22):
Thank you.
It was great.
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