December 1, 2025 • 22 mins
Whitney Leavitt isn’t just a controversial character on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives—she’s a mirror for every woman who’s ever been punished for wanting more.
In this episode of The Visibility Standard, we unpack why Whitney provokes such strong reactions, why her ambition reads as “villainy,” and why so many of us quietly resonate with her story. From MomTok dynamics to Dancing With the Stars, Whitney’s journey reveals the emotional cost of being visible, the tension between authenticity and group acceptance, and the courage it takes to choose your purpose over your perception.
I share my own experiences of being “the Whitney” in someone else’s story—and what it really looks like to grow beyond people-pleasing, own your ambition out loud, and build the kind of legacy that makes you impossible to ignore.
If you’ve ever feared being misunderstood… if you’ve ever shrunk to keep the peace… if you’ve ever wanted to claim a bigger stage but felt the weight of other people’s opinions—this conversation is your permission slip.
Visibility is not for the faint of heart. But it is for the visionary.
Tune in, reflect deeply, and then tell me: Are you ready to be seen for who you really are?
Want to connect?
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:08):
Saints and sinners line up today.
We are going to be talking aboutthe secret lives of Mormon wives
on the pod.
Hi, I'm Jasmine, your host ofthe Visibility Standard, where
visibility is the standard, allabout being seen, being heard,
where I also discuss socialcommentary that is sweeping the
airwaves.
(00:29):
I am a Whitney Levitt fan.
Now, if you know me in reallife, then you know I stand 10
tones down on this, but I'vealso been talking more about it
on social media.
And I'm going to be talkingabout it today from the
perspective of why she is such acontroversial figure in real
(00:53):
life and on the show, and why,if a lot more of us wanted to
identify with Whitney, we wouldbe much further along in our
lives.
So reverse a little bit.
(01:16):
I saw the swinging scandal and Ididn't get it at the time, so it
has garnered like nationalattention, which I love.
So first season I watched it andI definitely was not a fan of
Whitney.
I didn't understand how peoplelike I didn't see how she was
likable.
(01:36):
Like I didn't get it.
I didn't understand how she wasin the friend group.
I didn't understand what she wascontributing.
Fast forward to season two,something shifts.
I don't know if something shiftsin me, something shifts in her.
But I'm watching the show andI'm having a bit more curiosity
(01:58):
about who she is as a person,why she moves the way she does,
why she interacts the way thatshe does.
And then I start watching hercontent.
And there is a huge disconnectin Whitney on her content when
she's with her husband, whenshe's with her kids, when she's
just dancing by herself.
(02:18):
And on the show, you can see alot of tension.
There is something that isincongruent that is happening
while she's on the show.
By the time the end of seasontwo comes up, I'm like a fan.
Like I'm like, okay, I get it.
I understand.
I look into her chart.
She's an Aquarius moon, justlike me.
(02:39):
So we wear our emotions on oursleeves.
Is it easy to read?
No.
There's also this aloof naturethat comes up with a lot of
Aquarius moon signs.
It's that we are observing ourenvironment before we really
respond to it.
So we seem disconnected, but Imean we're tuned in.
(03:02):
We are paying attention.
And so seeing that allowed mesome perspective into why
Whitney kind of interacts theway that she does.
Fast forward, we're here atseason three with Dancing with
the Stars in tandem.
If you've been paying attention,Whitney got voted off during the
(03:24):
semifinals around the same time,season three of Secret Lives of
Mormon Wives aired.
Dancing with the Stars is avoting-based show.
People felt like Whitney was notthe most likable on season
three, and the lady certainlydid not support their friend in
being perceived as a likablecharacter.
(03:46):
And unfortunately, a lot ofpeople potentially voted because
of what they saw on the show andlet that influence how they
perceive her on Dancing with theStars.
Where does my commitment want tounderstand this person come
from?
Like, I have been talking aboutthis a lot.
(04:08):
That simply comes down to thefact that I resonate a lot with
Whitney's story.
And to some degree, I am Whitneyin a lot of people's story.
Not a lot, but a few.
And me maybe a year ago, maybesix months ago, would not have
(04:28):
felt too good about that.
Would not have even wanted toown that.
And when I say I am the Whitneyin some people's story, like I
am possibly the villain.
Like I am possibly the worstperson they would have worked
with.
I am possibly not the greatestfriend.
I am possibly not the greatestperson to be around.
(04:49):
And how you would see me in thatsituation would vary greatly
from how you would probablyinteract with me.
Let's say if we're really close,or I would say like present day.
I'm fortunate to be in ahealthier, more healed space.
I'm also around a lot morepeople that I trust, that I
respect, who respect me inreturn.
(05:12):
And so a lot of those behaviorsaren't triggered as much.
But there is a level of nicetiesthat a lot of the ladies are
playing on Secret Lives thatWhitney is not playing.
She's willing to call out in theroom that something is not
(05:34):
right.
She's willing to call out thatthis is simply a business
transaction.
Like they are co-workers, theyare not friends.
She has tried to bridge thefriendship gap.
Anything that she says doesn'tland for them.
So she's not interested incontinuing to explain herself or
(05:56):
trying to explain herself, andpeople not receive it.
That is a very real feeling thata lot of us have experienced in
our relationships.
When we get to a point in ourrelationships where we are
saying, Hey, I want to buildthis bridge.
Hey, I want to reconcile, I wantto be able to take
(06:17):
accountability and move forward.
And the other people, forwhatever reason, aren't willing
to receive it, aren't yet in thespace to receive it.
You simply have to make thechoice that preserves you.
I think a lot of people readthat as heartless, as oh, she
was never friends with them tobegin with.
(06:38):
But when you watch the show,she's sitting there trying to
take accountability and they arelike, Well, you did this, well,
you did this, and none of themare taking accountability.
I'm a firm believer thatrelationships take two parties.
I'm a firm believer that if oneside needs to take
accountability for something,the other side definitely can
take accountability forsomething.
(06:59):
In relationships, it's not aboutbeing right, it's about
understanding one another.
But if you are fighting to lookfor a winner in every single
scenario, there's going to be nowinner and you lose the
relationship.
So a lot of people are seeingWhitney, especially in this
third season.
She's like, I am using this showto be on Dancing with the Stars.
(07:25):
Valid.
I appreciate her clarity becausea lot of people are not as clear
about their intentions to beginwith, and that is actually more
hurtful.
Being clear is far more kindthan ambiguity or making someone
(07:51):
believe that something ispossible when it actually isn't.
I have had friends in the pastwho I would try to make plans
with and they would be like, oh,maybe, or like, mmm, we'll see.
And it's like trying to pullteeth to hang out with someone
(08:14):
doesn't feel good for me.
That might work for otherpeople.
That level of ambiguity mightwork for other people.
It doesn't work for me.
You either know that you want tohang out with me or not.
And this is where we reallystruggle with connection in this
world is that we prioritizelaying at home, snuggling up
(08:37):
over like connecting.
I understand things come up,responsibilities come up,
obligations come up.
But when we have thisuncertainty about a person or
wanting to spend time with aperson, it doesn't make the
other person feel good whenyou're like, maybe.
(08:59):
When you want to say yes or youdon't, you want to say no, and
that's when you just tell theperson, no.
That level of directcommunication does not exist
within that friend group.
You have Taylor who will whoreally tries to play nice with
every single person in thegroup.
You have Demi and Jesse, whohave had a complete falling out
(09:22):
at this point, especially ifyou're following on social media
where they are airing eachother's tea out.
A lot of gossip, a lot ofbackstabbing, a lot of, I
thought you were my friend andyou're not.
Whitney's the one person kind ofin the room who is honest about
the shifts that she'sexperiencing and the transitions
(09:44):
that she's experiencing and iswilling to name them.
This feels off to me.
This doesn't feel good.
I don't know how to moveforward.
I wish a lot more people didthat.
Like I wish a lot more peoplewere as clear, but a lot of
people aren't willing to havethe hard conversations.
(10:05):
A lot of people have learned,you have probably learned people
pleasing in your relationship,staying quiet, staying hidden is
what will serve yourrelationship going forward.
You have probably learned thatit is better to keep the peace
in a relationship than it is tosay something.
(10:25):
You have probably learned inyour workplace, especially for
my healers, my helpers, you haveprobably learned it is better to
stick with the status quo thanto disrupt any part of the
system.
So when you see Whitney makingit very clear what her business
goals are, what her aspirationis, that possibly ruffles your
(10:48):
feathers because you wish shewould have spoken up sooner.
You wish she would have saidsomething sooner.
I do believe to some degree,like a lot of what we see on TV
can mirror and be either likeprojection, something that we
admire, or something we feelenvious of, something that we
really disdain about thatperson.
And is that thing that wedisdain in that person something
(11:10):
that we disdain in us orsomething that we wish we had?
Relationships are mirrors.
Like people we watch on TV aremirrors to some degree.
They're mirrors to the humanexperience, right?
What has been so impressiveabout Whitney's journey is that
through all of this, she hasmanaged to find her own way, and
(11:32):
that's a lot of the premise ofthe final dance on Call Her
Daddy with Alex Cooper, as she'sdancing with Mark Ballis, and it
is this journey of being on areality TV show where filming is
happening, people are lettingher fall, the people that she
thought would be the ones topick her up.
(11:53):
We are in this together.
She essentially had to forge herown path and is standing bright
and tall right now.
She's got movie deals.
I mean, she was on Dancing withthe Stars, and the level of star
power that she has, the charismathat she has that's so valuable,
(12:16):
that is a lost art, truly, isreally admirable.
A lot of us, especially women,are afraid to be that ambitious,
to name the thing that we wantso clearly to be so ferocious in
our pursuit of it, because weare taught to prioritize
(12:38):
relationships.
We're taught to prioritize beinga parent.
We are taught to prioritize whatsomebody else's wants and needs
are that we completely abandonour own at any given moment, to
watch her be a mother, a wife, aperson, a woman who has managed
(13:08):
to allow herself to be seen, bevisible, to mess up, to not be
perfect, to own her story, andto watch her carve out this path
for herself that essentiallywill allow her to leave the show
is admirable.
And to do that, there are peoplethat aren't going to like her.
(13:32):
I mean, whether you want toadmit it or not, she is I would
say the mastermind behind momtalk.
Like, I think Taylor is reallygood PR, she's a really good
face for mom talk when it comesto the logistics, that's
Whitney.
(13:53):
And I only say that because whenyou watch the first couple of
episodes of season three ofSecret Lives, you're like, how
did they collect themselvestogether enough to film?
Like, how did they collectthemselves together enough to
create a cohesive voice tocreate a cohesive image and show
(14:17):
up online?
I do believe that was Whitney.
It shows in her strategy now asshe posts, as she shares her
story.
I believe that dancing with thestars was so impactful for her
because she experiencedacceptance that she lost in her
mom talk group.
(14:38):
Like the friendship, theacceptance to level ambition,
the drive, the commitment tohard work.
When that is a value ofsomeone's and they find people
that match that, it is reallylife-giving.
Because a lot of times,especially when we think about
more traditional roles, and theChurch of the Latter-day Saints
(15:00):
does prioritize more traditionalroles, women are supposed to be
in the home, being the mom,being the wife, staying really
quiet, staying really hidden.
And what you see in a lot ofthese other women, especially
Macy, Michaela, even Layla, likeyou're watching them grapple
(15:20):
with huge identity questions.
You're watching them grapplewith what does it mean to be
autonomous, who makes their ownmoney, who has a life outside of
the home, outside of herhusband, while also maintaining
that more traditional role.
And you watch them reallyconflicted.
(15:42):
And as I say that out loud, thatprobably bugs the shit out of
them that Whitney has managed tostep away from that, especially
as someone who was the OG saintin season one, and is now
allowing the world to see her ina completely different light,
and is allowing herself to beseen in a completely different
(16:02):
light.
And that's taken a lot ofcourage, that's taken a lot of
her betting on herself, that'staken a lot of her seeing all
the criticism and all the waysthat people disagree with her
and using that to fuel her muchlarger mission and purpose.
(16:23):
I say time and time again, whenyou are so dedicated to your
mission, to your purpose, thereis nothing that is going to stop
you.
There is absolutely nothing moreimportant than being committed
to your purpose, to yourmission, to what you value, to
what your legacy is going to be.
(16:45):
Whitney is working on building alegacy.
Mom talk was the first part ofthat journey, and I don't
believe a lot of you if you sayyou've never used a job to
leverage your opportunities.
I arguably think you're doingyour job wrong if you've never
(17:06):
used it, unless you work foryourself.
But even working for yourself isall about building and creating
opportunities to leverage yourskill set to attract more larger
opportunities.
But if you're telling me thatyou have like you are working
(17:27):
like for an agency, you work fora company, you're so committed
to that company's vision, youcannot imagine it
single-handedly benefiting you.
You are probably still stuck inthat people-pleasing phase.
And it not and you are notexactly ready to dream a vision
much larger than contributing tosomeone else's vision.
(17:52):
And that's okay because I'vebeen there.
I when I worked as a socialmedia manager for
quasi-government agency, mymission was their mission.
You couldn't tell me that Iwasn't gonna rise the corporate
ladder and be the executivedirector of this place.
(18:14):
You cannot tell me that all ofmy creative ideas that I would
have would not be for thiscompany.
Like my director and I worked101.
She was ready to promote me.
We were gonna work in tandem.
Like, I get what it is like tobe so committed to building
(18:36):
someone else's vision.
That's simply because I wasn'tready to step out on my own.
I wasn't ready to be perceivedas the person that was disliked.
I wasn't ready to be the personthat someone would say, Who the
fuck do you think you are?
Like I wasn't ready toexperience that level of
(18:58):
pushback from somebody.
I wasn't ready to potentiallynot certain friends, or I wasn't
ready to be perceived as someonethat's ambitious because of my
age.
And I've had a lot of peoplesay, Well, you're young, you've
got plenty of time.
You're right.
I've got plenty of time to livemy life exactly the way I want
(19:22):
to.
I've got plenty of time to buildmy legacy.
Start early.
Late is better than never, butif you can start early, I'm sure
as hell gonna start early.
And I'm gonna learn along theway.
There's no perfect journey toit, and Whitney continues to
embody that.
(19:42):
There's no perfect way to showup, and you're not going to show
up perfectly 100%.
But if you're gonna show up100%, you bet your ass there's
gonna be a couple of really goodmoments there.
There's gonna be a lot of reallygood highlights, you're gonna
meet a lot of amazing.
People when you allow yourselfto step away from what you know
(20:03):
or what feels comfortable.
Authenticity requires you to bereal.
Your mission requires you to bediscerning, to be able to
identify people that aren't foryou, to be able to identify
(20:23):
opportunities that aren't reallyfor you, they're actually to
benefit somebody else.
Sitting in my chair now, I am100% comfortable with
identifying as a Whitney fan.
I have been Whitney, Iunderstand Whitney.
I'm probably Whitney in a lot ofpeople's stories, and that's
okay.
Another female villain that ison Dancing with the Stars, I
(20:48):
mean, Elaine is not necessarilya villain, but Meredith Blake
from The Parent Trap.
Very ambitious, spoke veryclearly and directly to what she
wanted.
And a lot of us when we wereyounger were like, villain, yes,
that those kids should ruin herlife.
When it's like, no, she was justvery clear in what she wanted.
(21:10):
And that is really uncomfortablewhen we as a society have taught
women to play small, to not askfor what you want, to not be
able to build a legacy and havethe family and have the
relationship.
Like when you are living trulyin alignment and you are finding
(21:32):
people that can match that,there's really no questions on
it.
That's all I've got today.
I'm very curious if people havewatched The Secret Lives of
Mormon Wives, what do you thinkabout Whitney?
I actually have found that a lotmore people resonate with
Whitney than the gen pop ofconversations would typically
(21:55):
articulate because I think a lotmore people are waking up to
their own power, to their ownvoice, and with that comes
gravitating towards people whoare powerful and who are using
their voice.
Let me know in the comments.
You can let me know at Healingwith Jasmine.
I always love talking abouteverything.
I'll see you on Friday for myguest episode.
(22:17):
And I hope you had a greatholiday.
Gosh, silly me.
I didn't even check in.
I hope you had a great holidayas we gear into another holiday.
But I'll catch you around later.
Saints and sinners line up today.
We are going to be talking aboutthe secret lives of Mormon wives
on the pod.
Hi, I'm Jasmine, your host ofthe Visibility Standard, where
visibility is the standard, allabout being seen, being heard,
where I also discuss socialcommentary that is sweeping the
airwaves.
(00:29):
I am a Whitney Levitt fan.
Now, if you know me in reallife, then you know I stand 10
tones down on this, but I'vealso been talking more about it
on social media.
And I'm going to be talkingabout it today from the
perspective of why she is such acontroversial figure in real
(00:53):
life and on the show, and why,if a lot more of us wanted to
identify with Whitney, we wouldbe much further along in our
lives.
So reverse a little bit.
(01:16):
I saw the swinging scandal and Ididn't get it at the time, so it
has garnered like nationalattention, which I love.
So first season I watched it andI definitely was not a fan of
Whitney.
I didn't understand how peoplelike I didn't see how she was
likable.
(01:36):
Like I didn't get it.
I didn't understand how she wasin the friend group.
I didn't understand what she wascontributing.
Fast forward to season two,something shifts.
I don't know if something shiftsin me, something shifts in her.
But I'm watching the show andI'm having a bit more curiosity
(01:58):
about who she is as a person,why she moves the way she does,
why she interacts the way thatshe does.
And then I start watching hercontent.
And there is a huge disconnectin Whitney on her content when
she's with her husband, whenshe's with her kids, when she's
just dancing by herself.
(02:18):
And on the show, you can see alot of tension.
There is something that isincongruent that is happening
while she's on the show.
By the time the end of seasontwo comes up, I'm like a fan.
Like I'm like, okay, I get it.
I understand.
I look into her chart.
She's an Aquarius moon, justlike me.
(02:39):
So we wear our emotions on oursleeves.
Is it easy to read?
No.
There's also this aloof naturethat comes up with a lot of
Aquarius moon signs.
It's that we are observing ourenvironment before we really
respond to it.
So we seem disconnected, but Imean we're tuned in.
(03:02):
We are paying attention.
And so seeing that allowed mesome perspective into why
Whitney kind of interacts theway that she does.
Fast forward, we're here atseason three with Dancing with
the Stars in tandem.
If you've been paying attention,Whitney got voted off during the
(03:24):
semifinals around the same time,season three of Secret Lives of
Mormon Wives aired.
Dancing with the Stars is avoting-based show.
People felt like Whitney was notthe most likable on season
three, and the lady certainlydid not support their friend in
being perceived as a likablecharacter.
(03:46):
And unfortunately, a lot ofpeople potentially voted because
of what they saw on the show andlet that influence how they
perceive her on Dancing with theStars.
Where does my commitment want tounderstand this person come
from?
Like, I have been talking aboutthis a lot.
(04:08):
That simply comes down to thefact that I resonate a lot with
Whitney's story.
And to some degree, I am Whitneyin a lot of people's story.
Not a lot, but a few.
And me maybe a year ago, maybesix months ago, would not have
(04:28):
felt too good about that.
Would not have even wanted toown that.
And when I say I am the Whitneyin some people's story, like I
am possibly the villain.
Like I am possibly the worstperson they would have worked
with.
I am possibly not the greatestfriend.
I am possibly not the greatestperson to be around.
(04:49):
And how you would see me in thatsituation would vary greatly
from how you would probablyinteract with me.
Let's say if we're really close,or I would say like present day.
I'm fortunate to be in ahealthier, more healed space.
I'm also around a lot morepeople that I trust, that I
respect, who respect me inreturn.
(05:12):
And so a lot of those behaviorsaren't triggered as much.
But there is a level of nicetiesthat a lot of the ladies are
playing on Secret Lives thatWhitney is not playing.
She's willing to call out in theroom that something is not
(05:34):
right.
She's willing to call out thatthis is simply a business
transaction.
Like they are co-workers, theyare not friends.
She has tried to bridge thefriendship gap.
Anything that she says doesn'tland for them.
So she's not interested incontinuing to explain herself or
(05:56):
trying to explain herself, andpeople not receive it.
That is a very real feeling thata lot of us have experienced in
our relationships.
When we get to a point in ourrelationships where we are
saying, Hey, I want to buildthis bridge.
Hey, I want to reconcile, I wantto be able to take
(06:17):
accountability and move forward.
And the other people, forwhatever reason, aren't willing
to receive it, aren't yet in thespace to receive it.
You simply have to make thechoice that preserves you.
I think a lot of people readthat as heartless, as oh, she
was never friends with them tobegin with.
(06:38):
But when you watch the show,she's sitting there trying to
take accountability and they arelike, Well, you did this, well,
you did this, and none of themare taking accountability.
I'm a firm believer thatrelationships take two parties.
I'm a firm believer that if oneside needs to take
accountability for something,the other side definitely can
take accountability forsomething.
(06:59):
In relationships, it's not aboutbeing right, it's about
understanding one another.
But if you are fighting to lookfor a winner in every single
scenario, there's going to be nowinner and you lose the
relationship.
So a lot of people are seeingWhitney, especially in this
third season.
She's like, I am using this showto be on Dancing with the Stars.
(07:25):
Valid.
I appreciate her clarity becausea lot of people are not as clear
about their intentions to beginwith, and that is actually more
hurtful.
Being clear is far more kindthan ambiguity or making someone
(07:51):
believe that something ispossible when it actually isn't.
I have had friends in the pastwho I would try to make plans
with and they would be like, oh,maybe, or like, mmm, we'll see.
And it's like trying to pullteeth to hang out with someone
(08:14):
doesn't feel good for me.
That might work for otherpeople.
That level of ambiguity mightwork for other people.
It doesn't work for me.
You either know that you want tohang out with me or not.
And this is where we reallystruggle with connection in this
world is that we prioritizelaying at home, snuggling up
(08:37):
over like connecting.
I understand things come up,responsibilities come up,
obligations come up.
But when we have thisuncertainty about a person or
wanting to spend time with aperson, it doesn't make the
other person feel good whenyou're like, maybe.
(08:59):
When you want to say yes or youdon't, you want to say no, and
that's when you just tell theperson, no.
That level of directcommunication does not exist
within that friend group.
You have Taylor who will whoreally tries to play nice with
every single person in thegroup.
You have Demi and Jesse, whohave had a complete falling out
(09:22):
at this point, especially ifyou're following on social media
where they are airing eachother's tea out.
A lot of gossip, a lot ofbackstabbing, a lot of, I
thought you were my friend andyou're not.
Whitney's the one person kind ofin the room who is honest about
the shifts that she'sexperiencing and the transitions
(09:44):
that she's experiencing and iswilling to name them.
This feels off to me.
This doesn't feel good.
I don't know how to moveforward.
I wish a lot more people didthat.
Like I wish a lot more peoplewere as clear, but a lot of
people aren't willing to havethe hard conversations.
(10:05):
A lot of people have learned,you have probably learned people
pleasing in your relationship,staying quiet, staying hidden is
what will serve yourrelationship going forward.
You have probably learned thatit is better to keep the peace
in a relationship than it is tosay something.
(10:25):
You have probably learned inyour workplace, especially for
my healers, my helpers, you haveprobably learned it is better to
stick with the status quo thanto disrupt any part of the
system.
So when you see Whitney makingit very clear what her business
goals are, what her aspirationis, that possibly ruffles your
(10:48):
feathers because you wish shewould have spoken up sooner.
You wish she would have saidsomething sooner.
I do believe to some degree,like a lot of what we see on TV
can mirror and be either likeprojection, something that we
admire, or something we feelenvious of, something that we
really disdain about thatperson.
And is that thing that wedisdain in that person something
(11:10):
that we disdain in us orsomething that we wish we had?
Relationships are mirrors.
Like people we watch on TV aremirrors to some degree.
They're mirrors to the humanexperience, right?
What has been so impressiveabout Whitney's journey is that
through all of this, she hasmanaged to find her own way, and
(11:32):
that's a lot of the premise ofthe final dance on Call Her
Daddy with Alex Cooper, as she'sdancing with Mark Ballis, and it
is this journey of being on areality TV show where filming is
happening, people are lettingher fall, the people that she
thought would be the ones topick her up.
(11:53):
We are in this together.
She essentially had to forge herown path and is standing bright
and tall right now.
She's got movie deals.
I mean, she was on Dancing withthe Stars, and the level of star
power that she has, the charismathat she has that's so valuable,
(12:16):
that is a lost art, truly, isreally admirable.
A lot of us, especially women,are afraid to be that ambitious,
to name the thing that we wantso clearly to be so ferocious in
our pursuit of it, because weare taught to prioritize
(12:38):
relationships.
We're taught to prioritize beinga parent.
We are taught to prioritize whatsomebody else's wants and needs
are that we completely abandonour own at any given moment, to
watch her be a mother, a wife, aperson, a woman who has managed
(13:08):
to allow herself to be seen, bevisible, to mess up, to not be
perfect, to own her story, andto watch her carve out this path
for herself that essentiallywill allow her to leave the show
is admirable.
And to do that, there are peoplethat aren't going to like her.
(13:32):
I mean, whether you want toadmit it or not, she is I would
say the mastermind behind momtalk.
Like, I think Taylor is reallygood PR, she's a really good
face for mom talk when it comesto the logistics, that's
Whitney.
(13:53):
And I only say that because whenyou watch the first couple of
episodes of season three ofSecret Lives, you're like, how
did they collect themselvestogether enough to film?
Like, how did they collectthemselves together enough to
create a cohesive voice tocreate a cohesive image and show
(14:17):
up online?
I do believe that was Whitney.
It shows in her strategy now asshe posts, as she shares her
story.
I believe that dancing with thestars was so impactful for her
because she experiencedacceptance that she lost in her
mom talk group.
(14:38):
Like the friendship, theacceptance to level ambition,
the drive, the commitment tohard work.
When that is a value ofsomeone's and they find people
that match that, it is reallylife-giving.
Because a lot of times,especially when we think about
more traditional roles, and theChurch of the Latter-day Saints
(15:00):
does prioritize more traditionalroles, women are supposed to be
in the home, being the mom,being the wife, staying really
quiet, staying really hidden.
And what you see in a lot ofthese other women, especially
Macy, Michaela, even Layla, likeyou're watching them grapple
(15:20):
with huge identity questions.
You're watching them grapplewith what does it mean to be
autonomous, who makes their ownmoney, who has a life outside of
the home, outside of herhusband, while also maintaining
that more traditional role.
And you watch them reallyconflicted.
(15:42):
And as I say that out loud, thatprobably bugs the shit out of
them that Whitney has managed tostep away from that, especially
as someone who was the OG saintin season one, and is now
allowing the world to see her ina completely different light,
and is allowing herself to beseen in a completely different
(16:02):
light.
And that's taken a lot ofcourage, that's taken a lot of
her betting on herself, that'staken a lot of her seeing all
the criticism and all the waysthat people disagree with her
and using that to fuel her muchlarger mission and purpose.
(16:23):
I say time and time again, whenyou are so dedicated to your
mission, to your purpose, thereis nothing that is going to stop
you.
There is absolutely nothing moreimportant than being committed
to your purpose, to yourmission, to what you value, to
what your legacy is going to be.
(16:45):
Whitney is working on building alegacy.
Mom talk was the first part ofthat journey, and I don't
believe a lot of you if you sayyou've never used a job to
leverage your opportunities.
I arguably think you're doingyour job wrong if you've never
(17:06):
used it, unless you work foryourself.
But even working for yourself isall about building and creating
opportunities to leverage yourskill set to attract more larger
opportunities.
But if you're telling me thatyou have like you are working
(17:27):
like for an agency, you work fora company, you're so committed
to that company's vision, youcannot imagine it
single-handedly benefiting you.
You are probably still stuck inthat people-pleasing phase.
And it not and you are notexactly ready to dream a vision
much larger than contributing tosomeone else's vision.
(17:52):
And that's okay because I'vebeen there.
I when I worked as a socialmedia manager for
quasi-government agency, mymission was their mission.
You couldn't tell me that Iwasn't gonna rise the corporate
ladder and be the executivedirector of this place.
(18:14):
You cannot tell me that all ofmy creative ideas that I would
have would not be for thiscompany.
Like my director and I worked101.
She was ready to promote me.
We were gonna work in tandem.
Like, I get what it is like tobe so committed to building
(18:36):
someone else's vision.
That's simply because I wasn'tready to step out on my own.
I wasn't ready to be perceivedas the person that was disliked.
I wasn't ready to be the personthat someone would say, Who the
fuck do you think you are?
Like I wasn't ready toexperience that level of
(18:58):
pushback from somebody.
I wasn't ready to potentiallynot certain friends, or I wasn't
ready to be perceived as someonethat's ambitious because of my
age.
And I've had a lot of peoplesay, Well, you're young, you've
got plenty of time.
You're right.
I've got plenty of time to livemy life exactly the way I want
(19:22):
to.
I've got plenty of time to buildmy legacy.
Start early.
Late is better than never, butif you can start early, I'm sure
as hell gonna start early.
And I'm gonna learn along theway.
There's no perfect journey toit, and Whitney continues to
embody that.
(19:42):
There's no perfect way to showup, and you're not going to show
up perfectly 100%.
But if you're gonna show up100%, you bet your ass there's
gonna be a couple of really goodmoments there.
There's gonna be a lot of reallygood highlights, you're gonna
meet a lot of amazing.
People when you allow yourselfto step away from what you know
(20:03):
or what feels comfortable.
Authenticity requires you to bereal.
Your mission requires you to bediscerning, to be able to
identify people that aren't foryou, to be able to identify
(20:23):
opportunities that aren't reallyfor you, they're actually to
benefit somebody else.
Sitting in my chair now, I am100% comfortable with
identifying as a Whitney fan.
I have been Whitney, Iunderstand Whitney.
I'm probably Whitney in a lot ofpeople's stories, and that's
okay.
Another female villain that ison Dancing with the Stars, I
(20:48):
mean, Elaine is not necessarilya villain, but Meredith Blake
from The Parent Trap.
Very ambitious, spoke veryclearly and directly to what she
wanted.
And a lot of us when we wereyounger were like, villain, yes,
that those kids should ruin herlife.
When it's like, no, she was justvery clear in what she wanted.
(21:10):
And that is really uncomfortablewhen we as a society have taught
women to play small, to not askfor what you want, to not be
able to build a legacy and havethe family and have the
relationship.
Like when you are living trulyin alignment and you are finding
(21:32):
people that can match that,there's really no questions on
it.
That's all I've got today.
I'm very curious if people havewatched The Secret Lives of
Mormon Wives, what do you thinkabout Whitney?
I actually have found that a lotmore people resonate with
Whitney than the gen pop ofconversations would typically
(21:55):
articulate because I think a lotmore people are waking up to
their own power, to their ownvoice, and with that comes
gravitating towards people whoare powerful and who are using
their voice.
Let me know in the comments.
You can let me know at Healingwith Jasmine.
I always love talking abouteverything.
I'll see you on Friday for myguest episode.
(22:17):
And I hope you had a greatholiday.
Gosh, silly me.
I didn't even check in.
I hope you had a great holidayas we gear into another holiday.
But I'll catch you around later.
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