When Barbara Culver joined us, her words painted a vivid tapestry of a life utterly transformed by faith. Her story, which we're thrilled to share with you, begins with a lonely childhood and unfolds into a rich narrative of love, purpose, and the profound influence of Scripture. As she recounts her path to becoming a cherished teacher of the Word and a guide to many searching souls, you'll feel the warmth of her spirit that has touched the lives of countless students. She brings to light the pivotal moments where church camps played a role in nurturing young believers, revealing the potency of being truly loved and understood.
Barbara's testament doesn't end with personal growth; it's interwoven with the strength of marriage, her husband's spiritual awakening, and the serendipity of ministry that neither of them expected. Nearly six decades of unity stand as a testament to their unwavering commitment, grounded in the wisdom of scriptures and the sovereignty of God. Together, we explore the challenges and triumphs of married life, affirming the transformative sanctuary that a partner's faith can provide. Her anecdotes of prayer's power in her own marriage remind us all of the unshakable foundation it can build for any couple.
Even through health struggles that would deter many, Barbara's tenacity shines. Her passion for quilting persists, bolstered by her reliance on the Holy Spirit, and her decision to venture into podcasting at 75 years old underscores a relentless spirit. We're eager to share her engaging podcast, It's His Story, to our listeners, for it is a reservoir of wisdom and hope. Her experiences offer solace and encouragement, and we, Doug and Leslie Davis, send our prayers for your own marital bonds and spiritual journeys. Barbara's resilience and deep-seated faith serve as a beacon for all of us navigating life's ebbs and flows.
Barbara's Podcast: It's His Story It's His Story | Podcast on Spotify
Find her on Facebook: Barbara Culver-Speaker | Facebook
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Theme music: Dead Winter
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Audio source: Epidemic Sound
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome to the Vision Driven Marriage podcast.
If you're struggling in yourmarriage, or maybe you're
wondering if it's evensalvageable, before you give up
or before you let things get toohard, let us come alongside you
and help you solidify yourmarriage.
We offer biblical encouragementand insight to help you
strengthen your marriage.
We offer biblical encouragementand insight to help you
strengthen your marriage.
(00:28):
Welcome to the Vision DrivenMarriage podcast.
We're Doug and Leslie Davis,and today we have a special
guest with us.
She's going to tell us a littlebit about her story and about
her podcast that's called HisStory.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Today we have Barbara Culver joining us from North.
What where did you say, barbara?
Kentucky, midwest, midwest.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Midwest Kentucky.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
You just said that and I just lost it.
So Midwest Kentucky is whereBarbara is joining us and she is
going to tell us a little bitabout her story and how the Lord
has worked in her life, andabout her podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Welcome Barbara.
Thank you, Tell us a little bitabout your story.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
My story began when I was six years old.
I had lived with aunts anduncles for the first five years
of my life because my dad hadgotten custody of me and he was
a truck driver, so he was neveraround.
So I was raised by his siblings.
But when he remarried I came tolive with my dad and my
(01:37):
stepmother, whom had no childrenand did not want children, and
made it very plain in my lifeand did not want children and
made it very plain in my life.
I did not grow up in aChristian home, but at the age
of six my dad drove six blockswhen there was a church right
behind my house.
I could have walked to let meout at a church he had never
(01:59):
been in in his entire life and aplace where I did not know that
first person, not anyone.
But I never felt out of placein that place and it was there
that they would tell me everySunday how much Jesus loved me.
Only I would go home and saythey don't love me because it
(02:23):
seems I'm unlovable.
Nobody wants to love me becauseit seems I'm unlovable.
Nobody wants to love me.
Then, at the age of nine, mychurch gave me my very first
Bible.
Now, as a nine-year-old girl wholoved to read and wasn't
allowed to do a whole lot ofthings other than that it was a
book, I did not think about itbeing the word of God, although
(02:47):
I had heard the stories.
Now I was going to get to readthe stories and so it was just a
book for me.
So I just began in Genesis, notknowing any better, and I read
all the way to Revelation.
I didn't understand one wordthat I read, not one.
But it was a book that I couldnot seemingly lay down and never
(03:10):
pick up again.
It kept drawing me to it and so, before I ever accepted the
Lord, I had read it all the waythrough three times.
Now I didn't understand muchmore that third time than I did
the first time, but it justspoke to me.
Then, at the age of 15, I wentto a summer camp and it was
(03:32):
there.
I heard, I assume, the voice ofthe Holy Spirit saying that, or
Jesus saying come to me, justcome to me.
And I said I can't do that.
And I heard it the second timeand I said you can't love me
like you love the people I readabout in this book.
(03:54):
And I heard it a third time.
Well, I left summer camp, comehome.
And those words just kept.
I left summer camp, come home.
And those words just keptringing in my ears.
And so, on my 16th birthday, Iwalked the aisle of my church
and, for the first time in mylife, I knew I was loved.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I don't know what he did.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I don't know how he did it, I just knew that I was
loved.
So that was my journey comingto him, and I've never, ever
regretted that for 61 years.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I am so grateful for not only what God did in your
life, but for those church camps.
We had the privilege Leslie andI had the privilege for years
to work with a church camp, butwe saw God call so many kids to
himself.
I am so thankful that at thatcamp God called you to himself.
And so what else is part ofyour story?
(04:54):
I see that you teach.
How has teaching the wordreally impacted you?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Oh, I mean, that's how I've learned what the word
is.
He started me out teachingkindergartners and, uh, every
time they moved up, he moved meup.
And so the time that mykindergartners became high
school students, I was stilltheir teacher and I kept telling
(05:25):
them.
I said y'all got to be tired oflistening to me.
And they said, oh, no, no,we're not.
Well, I'm sure they were, butthat's okay.
But uh, and I tell people allthe time, you start teaching the
word and you're going to learnmore about the word, because you
have to dig a little harder anda little deeper to find out
what the word really means.
(05:46):
So I taught high schoolstudents for, I think, about 20
years and absolutely loved it.
There were Sundays I'd walk outof that room and I'd say they
didn't hear one word.
I said today.
I didn't hear one word.
I said today.
But after they were all grown, Ihave gotten letters and text
(06:09):
messages and phone calls from alot of my students who say we're
so glad that you taught us theword, because I taught the word.
I didn't just get in there andwe talk about it or nothing.
I taught the word to them and Iused to actually give my high
(06:30):
school students tests and allthey hated them.
And I told them.
I said you don't worry aboutyour grade on the test, you just
take the test and see if you'relearning something from what
God has to say to you.
So now they're thankful thatI've done that, but at the time
it wasn't very pleasant for them.
Then God called us to adifferent church and I wasn't
(06:55):
going to teach.
When I got to that church Ijust said I'm going to walk away
from it.
And I always say when you sitin a class and you're saying, oh
man, they should have broughtthis out, they should have
talked about that.
God's telling you you need tobe teaching again.
So I started teaching again andI taught young adults and now
(07:20):
I'm teaching a ladies class thatthe youngest lady in there is
75, I think.
So I'm still teaching.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
That is amazing.
That's amazing and if you knowa little bit about our listeners
on the Vision Driven Marriage,we have an audience that focuses
on God working in and throughtheir marriages and becoming,
you know, having a moresolidified marriage because of
Christ.
Tell us a little bit how Godhas worked in your life through
(07:53):
your marriage.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Okay, well, I was 18, just barely 18, 23 days old
when I got married 18.
And my husband was 20, fixingto turn 21.
We knew nothing about life.
We knew nothing about marriage.
We had no clue what we weregetting ourselves into, and back
(08:18):
then they didn't have seminarsyou could go to.
I'm not even sure they hadbooks about marriage.
If they did, I didn't knowabout it.
But I had been a Christian fortwo years and the word was
beginning to talk to me a lot.
I could understand a little bitmore of it.
(08:39):
But then I got pregnant veryearly and had our first daughter
11 months after we were married.
The one thing I did not knowwhen I got pregnant very early
and had our first daughter 11months after we were married,
the one thing I did not knowwhen I got married was I thought
I knew everything about thisman that I needed to know.
I did not know he loved huntingand fishing and as a 19 year
(09:00):
old mother, I'm going.
Why don't you want to spendtime with me?
You?
know, and I didn't know anythingabout a baby, had never been
around babies, had no idea whatI was doing with this baby.
(09:23):
It was hot, we had no airconditioning, she got colic, so
colic babies cry all day long.
And one day, sitting in myliving room rocking her with a
fan running on us, I just brokedown and it just overwhelmed me
and I said, god, I can't do this.
(09:45):
I don't know how to be a wifeto a man who seemingly loves
hunting and fishing more than heloves me.
And I heard a voice and it saidthen why are you trying to
change what you didn't create?
I said because he's not beingthe dad and the husband he's
(10:07):
supposed to be.
And he said you didn't createhim, I did.
But if you will let me changeyou, I'll let you watch as I
change him.
And I knew in that moment I hada decision I had to make was I
(10:28):
going to listen to that voice orwas I going to keep complaining
and be miserable?
And I don't know what happenedin that moment, but I, at that
time, I made the decision Iwould never complain.
And so I told my husband.
I said I will never complainabout you going hunting and
fishing.
Now I can't say I didn'tcomplain if he didn't come home
(10:48):
when he was supposed to.
But I did never complain and Istill don't to this day.
But it was just an amazingmoment in my life and to know
that the Holy Spirit cared thatmuch about me that he was going
to help me do this.
(11:10):
And so I didn't know how to be awife and he didn't know how to
be a husband.
So for me I had to go to theword.
I didn't have a book to read, Ididn't have anybody to talk to,
because my stepmother and Ididn't have a really great
relationship.
His mother still had smallchildren at home.
(11:31):
He's a family of eight andshe's tired.
She did, and she didn't knowthat much about the bible either
.
She just knew Jesus loved her.
So I said, lord, you're goingto have to teach me how to do
this.
And I think that's the moment Ilearned to always ask the Holy
Spirit how do I do that?
(11:52):
Because the Bible teaches usmany things to do.
He just don't always tell ushow to do it.
Right.
I said you're tell us how to doit Right.
Right, you're gonna have, I saidyou're gonna have to teach me.
So the first thing he led me towas the book of Proverbs,
chapter 31.
Well, I'm nowhere near thatwoman, Uh, although I have done
(12:14):
a lot of things.
That's in there.
But the one thing that stoodout to me in that passage is the
fact that, uh, he says yourhusband, her husband, will be
known at the gate.
And I went well, how do I dothat?
How do I let people know?
This is a special man?
(12:37):
And so I began to brag on him,because my husband can do just
or at that time, could do justabout anything, because he grew
up on a farm.
And that's what you have to do.
You do everything.
And we bought a house.
It was just a white house.
He bricked it the whole house.
(12:59):
He built a garage and brickedit, built a back he bricked it
the whole house.
He built a garage and brickedit, built a back room and
bricked it.
And so I just began bragging onhim on the things that he could
do.
He could work on a car and fixit.
He saved us thousands ofdollars in car repairs and any
kind of repairs.
He just knew how to do stufflike that, and so I just bragged
(13:23):
on him a lot.
Well, the first change that Ican actually say I noticed from
the Holy Spirit was the fact myhusband thought that he was
saved when we got married.
Now, if anybody should havenever even dated, much less
married, it was he and I,because we have nothing in
(13:44):
common except three things hewasn't a truck driver, he wasn't
a drinker and he was aChristian.
But at about 26, somewherealong in there, he discovered he
wasn't saved, and he was savedin my living room floor that
sunday yeah yeah.
(14:06):
So that was the first big changein him.
Because he would.
He would go to church with meon sunday morning, but he would
never go on sunday night and hewould never go on wednesday
night.
Of course he worked secondshift on Wednesday so he didn't
always get to go, but that was abig change for him and through
(14:27):
the years I've watched as theSpirit has done it Well.
Then he led me to Ephesians,where it talks about wives
submitting to your husbands.
Now I think people get thewrong direction on submitting
because most people think that'sbeing a floor mat.
No, that's not what it'stalking about.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
He's talking about the fact that Society thinks
that a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah, it's just knowing and respecting his place
in the home, that he is thefather, he is the head, just
like god, the father is the headof us and jesus christ is over
us, but it's you know, I stillhave a voice and I still tell
him things that you know well, Ithink we need to do this and
(15:18):
and we'll discuss it, but uh,yeah, to be submissive to him is
to simply respect him for whohe is.
He is my husband, he is thefather of my children and he is
the head of this household.
So I've practiced that and andit takes practice, it's not
something that you do and yougot it and boy I'm yay.
(15:44):
No, it's a constant battle, orit has been for me, a battle
that I, you know, I would haveto say, barbara, keep your mouth
shut.
You can't do that now, today.
I think it's a constant battlefor everybody.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
It's one of those things that our listeners tell
us a lot.
You know they they feel like afailure if they don't get it
immediately.
So I'm so glad you shared whatwe, Leslie and I, know is true,
and good to hear it from you aswell, that it's something we
have to practice every day andwe're not going to be great at
some of the things God's askedus to do right away, but he'll
give us the ability to getbetter and better and better at
(16:22):
it as we surrender to him.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah and that.
But that's true with anything.
It's not just marriage, it'sanything.
When we, when I got saved, Ididn't automatically know
everything and know how to doeverything.
And when I do learn everythingand know how to do everything,
and when I do learn, dosomething, I have to learn it
(16:45):
once, but then I have to learnit maybe 10 or 15 times before I
really get what I'm supposed tobe doing and how I'm supposed
to be doing it.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Well, I'm glad to hear that you were obedient in
that calling when the Lord putit on your heart to be the wife
that God called you to be,because I bet that that was
pretty instrumental in yourhusband coming to the Lord,
because if he had had to battlehis wife about how God made him
(17:13):
or not, that that would havebeen the battle, but he would
have had that insecurity abouthow he was made because it
wasn't fitting with theexpectations that you had in
your relationship.
He may have had a lot hardertime coming to the Lord than
what he did when he did it at 26, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, I agree.
I totally agree, that is.
It's just the fact that youhave to make the effort.
God's ready to do it.
We just have to make the effortand cooperate with him.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Now, how many years have you been married, Barbara?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
We've been married 59 , 60 years if we live to August.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Wow, congratulations, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Thank you, yes, yes, it is For two people that had
nothing absolutely in common.
You know, everything in ourlives were different growing up,
so it's just amazing that Godhas kept us together.
Yes, but God.
I gave him the glory for it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yes, god knew that you needed each other, and so
that's just been amazing.
I love to hear those types ofstories where the Lord has used
a spouse to help facilitategrowth Christian growth, you
know, specifically spiritualgrowth in their relationship.
I know in Doug and I'srelationship, because he was
(18:47):
following the leading of theLord and and and seeking to be
Christ-like.
That provided a place for me toheal from, you know, the my
childhood background.
It just gave me a safe place toto begin to be myself and
understand how much the Lordloves me.
And I don't think I would haveexperienced, you know,
(19:10):
experienced that security tobegin to believe in the Lord and
what the Lord has for me asquickly as I did if it hadn't
been for the fact that he wasfollowing the Lord, you know.
And then he came home one dayand said I think I'm supposed to
preach and, you know, be apastor, and I'm like well, you
(19:31):
know, I don't know what thatentails.
We had four young children atthe time and I don't know what
that entails, but I had.
I had always made the commentfrom the time that we got
married I will follow youanywhere.
And I just remember hearingthat in.
You know, I meantgeographically right.
I meant if you want to live onthe East coast, fine.
(19:52):
If you want to live on the Westcoast, fine, I will follow you
anywhere.
But what that really meant wasfollowing him into ministry, and
so so, when the Lord had justprepared my heart to follow him
anywhere, I didn't know it wasgoing to be into the ministry.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
So yeah, that happens a lot.
Unfortunately I haven't had todo that, but my husband now is a
deacon at our church, so he hasthat ministry going on too.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Well, that is a very good ministry to have.
We have some solid deacons inour church and they are just,
sometimes they're just Doug'sright hand, I mean, they're just
invaluable in our little body,you know.
So it's just been great.
That is, that's wonderful.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Well, tell me, barbara, what is one thing that
you contribute the longevity ofyour marriage to Staying in the
word yes, that if you don't, ifyou don't stay in the word,
you're not going to learn evenhow to live, much less how to be
married or how to deal withpeople.
You have to learn that God hasa way for you to live and then
(21:08):
you have to obey that word yeah,and it's.
That doesn't mean it's alwayseasy.
Sometimes it's very, very hard,but you still have to accept
the fact that he's in control ofmy life totally.
I gave him my life when Iwalked that out and he is in
total control of everything I doand everywhere I go, and who I
(21:31):
meet and what I say andeverything.
He's just in control of it all.
But I have to stay close tothat word because Jesus is the
word.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
And.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
I just always have made that my point of anchor.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Well, and we, Leslie and I, know that so much of that
just echoes as true in ourlives.
The Holy Spirit's shown us somany of those same truths.
What could you tell some of ouryoung married couples who are
listening?
What do you think are some ofthe most important things that a
young couple should look to andshould do if they want to be
(22:10):
able to not only draw closer toeach other but to be able to
glorify God through theirmarriage?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Prayer.
I can remember, as a young wifeand a young mother, many times
at night I talked to my husband.
He didn't always understandwhat I was talking about, but I
would go to bed at night and,like Joseph I believe Joseph is
(22:39):
17.
He didn't talk about what wenton in his life, but he, I
believe he prayed to God everynight about it.
And so he talked, talked to Godabout his things that were
hurting him and how he wasdisappointed in life.
So if you're a young wife andyou don't know how to do this
(23:00):
thing called marriage, just talkto God about it.
He knows it anyway.
He knows what's going on, buthe wants to hear it from you and
always ask for the HolySpirit's help.
That's what he's here for tohelp us get through marriage,
get through life and to beobedient.
(23:22):
And if we don't ask for hishelp, he just sits there and we
don't really reap the benefitsof being saved through Christ.
So my advice to young people ismake prayer a priority, make
the word a priority, but alwaysknow that he's the one that's
(23:46):
going to say yes or no to all ofit.
It's a good word.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
I think one of the things yes, that is a good word,
I know, I just want to jump upand shout amen.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Well, go ahead, yes amen Well go ahead.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
One of the things I found interesting about what you
said, barbara, is that when youdescribed being in prayer, you
positioned it as individuallyand not as a couple, and I think
that that is so very importantin that we, as an individual you
know myself as an individualand Doug as an individual, you
(24:22):
know so our listeners asindividuals need to commit to
prayer, knowing that the leadingof the Holy Spirit is going to
be what leads you into, whatsolidifies that relationship,
because he knows what needs tohappen in that relationship,
probably more than either thehusband or the wife, you know,
and I think the leading of theHoly Spirit is what helps create
(24:47):
the space in a relationship forwhat needs to happen to happen,
because we don't know a lot oftimes what needs to happen, but
the Lord knows what needs tohappen in that relationship for
it to be a good relationship.
And so if we're not, if we havenot committed ourselves to being
in prayer and being in the word, like you mentioned, then we
(25:11):
are not as positioned to createthat safe place as for our
spouse as what we could be if wewere in prayer and in the word
and following the leading of theHoly spirit to make that space
in our relationship thatglorifies the Lord, because
we're all different, right?
(25:32):
I mean, so many times you hearthe steps about how to
communicate better and we hearthe the steps on how to be more
intimate.
And in fact we've done, ifwe've done one podcast on those,
we've done four or five on thatsame subject.
Right, but without the leadingof the Holy spirit, knowing the
relationship, you know thosesteps might not be what that
(25:55):
relationship needs, you know.
So when we take care of our ownwalk with the Lord and our walk
with Jesus and our time in theword, we're going to be able to
create that space that the Lordhas to solidify that
relationship.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
That's correct, you know, I guess that encounter
with the Holy spirit at 19, withmy daughter in my lap, it just
it changed life for me.
And physically they're well.
(26:37):
I can't do anything at ourchurch locally anymore because I
have severe neuropathy, I havesome vision problems, and so
there's things you know thethings I've done all my life in
the church.
I no longer can do that, butGod can still use you and I have
to depend upon the Holy Spirit.
(26:58):
I love to quilt, I absolutelylove to quilt, and I had gotten
to where my vision was so bad Icouldn't.
And then God sent me to adoctor that helped me with that.
But it took out a lot of well,took out all of my depth
perception.
I have no depth perceptionanymore, and so the thread, a
(27:22):
needle is literally impossiblefor me.
And yet every, every time I mythread breaks, I'll say okay,
holy spirit, this is your time,you know where that eye is and I
have no clue.
And he'll get that needlethreader right through there
every time.
You have to make him a priorityin that he's.
(27:44):
That's what he's here for he isour jesus.
He is our jesus today and he.
He's one that's going to walkwith us and help us through
whatever we go through and youcan say that there's a lot of
things that you can't do.
But, Barbara, you have apodcast Like how cool is that
(28:07):
that started at the age of 75.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
I think that is just amazing.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Well, that's what everybody tells me and it's
totally amazed me.
And I tell him all the time Idon't know how you did this and
I still don't know how you'redoing it, but at 70, the Holy
Spirit led me to go out andshare his story in my life,
which I had never done before.
I don't know why, I guessembarrassment, I don't know.
(28:33):
But anyway I did that and thenCOVID hit and that stopped that.
So in 21, I said what is it youwant me to do?
And then he started thispodcasting and it just grew.
And at 75, yeah, I started hispodcast and it is his story.
(28:54):
Yeah, it's.
He amazes me at the uh.
When I first started my podcast.
I have a friend who is mybiggest supporter but claims to
be an atheist and I have tochuckle inside every time he
says that to me.
But he actually did my intro.
(29:14):
I said you know, I told him oneday.
I said I'm trying to figure outhow to get it integrated with
my podcast.
I haven't figured that out yet.
He said well, bring it over tomy house and we'll work on it.
He said I have been on theirwebsite but I can figure it out
because he's been in TV and hedoes films and stuff.
I said no.
I said you know God led me tothis.
I said you know God led me tothis and so God's going to teach
(29:39):
me how to do this.
And he said well, I hope heknows how to take.
I said he does, he created it.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
He never answered me on that.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
But, yeah, I love to do it because I want people to
know the value of readingscripture and that it scripture
is still.
Yeah, it's stories about allthese people, but it's a story
about your life, absolutely mylife, and that's what I want
(30:13):
people to learn from it.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
How valuable it is for life to live.
Oh, that is wonderful, and Iwill link the link to your
podcast in our show notes sothat our listeners can click the
link and find your podcast.
Also, you said it was onSpotify and I will make sure
that that is linked in the shownotes so our listeners our
listeners can get a hold of that.
I think that is amazing.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Well, thank you.
Every week, when I record it, Ialways tell him I said I'm just
your vessel.
You speak what you want spoken.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
So, it all comes from him and I'm so grateful not
only for what he has done butwhat he continues to do through
your life, just with what you'veshared with us today.
When you surrendered that nightwith your child on your lap, to
the leading of the Holy Spirit,he started to use you in a way
you didn't understand.
(31:11):
That eventually was a testimonythat was used in your husband's
life Praise the Lord, he savedyour husband was a testimony
that was used in your husband'slife Praise the Lord, he saved
your husband.
And now you're getting to sharenot only his word, but you're
getting to share those practicalapplications in your life with
others.
And we know that in Revelationthe Christians are victorious by
the blood of the lamb and theword of their testimony, and so
(31:34):
I'm so grateful that you'resharing the word of God and that
you're sharing your testimony,and you have been a real
blessing to us and to ourlisteners today.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Well, thank you.
I hope so, and I hope somebodycan use it in their life.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Amen.
We want to thank all of you forlistening.
Today Our guest has beenBarbara Culver.
We want you to check out herpodcast called His Story, and
we're Doug and Leslie Davis.
We're continuing to pray foryou that God would solidify your
marriage.
Welcome to the Vision Driven Marriage podcast.
If you're struggling in yourmarriage, or maybe you're
wondering if it's evensalvageable, before you give up
or before you let things get toohard, let us come alongside you
and help you solidify yourmarriage.
We offer biblical encouragementand insight to help you
strengthen your marriage.
We offer biblical encouragementand insight to help you
strengthen your marriage.
(00:28):
Welcome to the Vision DrivenMarriage podcast.
We're Doug and Leslie Davis,and today we have a special
guest with us.
She's going to tell us a littlebit about her story and about
her podcast that's called HisStory.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Today we have Barbara Culver joining us from North.
What where did you say, barbara?
Kentucky, midwest, midwest.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Midwest Kentucky.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
You just said that and I just lost it.
So Midwest Kentucky is whereBarbara is joining us and she is
going to tell us a little bitabout her story and how the Lord
has worked in her life, andabout her podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Welcome Barbara.
Thank you, Tell us a little bitabout your story.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
My story began when I was six years old.
I had lived with aunts anduncles for the first five years
of my life because my dad hadgotten custody of me and he was
a truck driver, so he was neveraround.
So I was raised by his siblings.
But when he remarried I came tolive with my dad and my
(01:37):
stepmother, whom had no childrenand did not want children, and
made it very plain in my lifeand did not want children and
made it very plain in my life.
I did not grow up in aChristian home, but at the age
of six my dad drove six blockswhen there was a church right
behind my house.
I could have walked to let meout at a church he had never
(01:59):
been in in his entire life and aplace where I did not know that
first person, not anyone.
But I never felt out of placein that place and it was there
that they would tell me everySunday how much Jesus loved me.
Only I would go home and saythey don't love me because it
(02:23):
seems I'm unlovable.
Nobody wants to love me becauseit seems I'm unlovable.
Nobody wants to love me.
Then, at the age of nine, mychurch gave me my very first
Bible.
Now, as a nine-year-old girl wholoved to read and wasn't
allowed to do a whole lot ofthings other than that it was a
book, I did not think about itbeing the word of God, although
(02:47):
I had heard the stories.
Now I was going to get to readthe stories and so it was just a
book for me.
So I just began in Genesis, notknowing any better, and I read
all the way to Revelation.
I didn't understand one wordthat I read, not one.
But it was a book that I couldnot seemingly lay down and never
(03:10):
pick up again.
It kept drawing me to it and so, before I ever accepted the
Lord, I had read it all the waythrough three times.
Now I didn't understand muchmore that third time than I did
the first time, but it justspoke to me.
Then, at the age of 15, I wentto a summer camp and it was
(03:32):
there.
I heard, I assume, the voice ofthe Holy Spirit saying that, or
Jesus saying come to me, justcome to me.
And I said I can't do that.
And I heard it the second timeand I said you can't love me
like you love the people I readabout in this book.
(03:54):
And I heard it a third time.
Well, I left summer camp, comehome.
And those words just kept.
I left summer camp, come home.
And those words just keptringing in my ears.
And so, on my 16th birthday, Iwalked the aisle of my church
and, for the first time in mylife, I knew I was loved.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I don't know what he did.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I don't know how he did it, I just knew that I was
loved.
So that was my journey comingto him, and I've never, ever
regretted that for 61 years.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I am so grateful for not only what God did in your
life, but for those church camps.
We had the privilege Leslie andI had the privilege for years
to work with a church camp, butwe saw God call so many kids to
himself.
I am so thankful that at thatcamp God called you to himself.
And so what else is part ofyour story?
(04:54):
I see that you teach.
How has teaching the wordreally impacted you?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Oh, I mean, that's how I've learned what the word
is.
He started me out teachingkindergartners and, uh, every
time they moved up, he moved meup.
And so the time that mykindergartners became high
school students, I was stilltheir teacher and I kept telling
(05:25):
them.
I said y'all got to be tired oflistening to me.
And they said, oh, no, no,we're not.
Well, I'm sure they were, butthat's okay.
But uh, and I tell people allthe time, you start teaching the
word and you're going to learnmore about the word, because you
have to dig a little harder anda little deeper to find out
what the word really means.
(05:46):
So I taught high schoolstudents for, I think, about 20
years and absolutely loved it.
There were Sundays I'd walk outof that room and I'd say they
didn't hear one word.
I said today.
I didn't hear one word.
I said today.
But after they were all grown, Ihave gotten letters and text
(06:09):
messages and phone calls from alot of my students who say we're
so glad that you taught us theword, because I taught the word.
I didn't just get in there andwe talk about it or nothing.
I taught the word to them and Iused to actually give my high
(06:30):
school students tests and allthey hated them.
And I told them.
I said you don't worry aboutyour grade on the test, you just
take the test and see if you'relearning something from what
God has to say to you.
So now they're thankful thatI've done that, but at the time
it wasn't very pleasant for them.
Then God called us to adifferent church and I wasn't
(06:55):
going to teach.
When I got to that church Ijust said I'm going to walk away
from it.
And I always say when you sitin a class and you're saying, oh
man, they should have broughtthis out, they should have
talked about that.
God's telling you you need tobe teaching again.
So I started teaching again andI taught young adults and now
(07:20):
I'm teaching a ladies class thatthe youngest lady in there is
75, I think.
So I'm still teaching.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
That is amazing.
That's amazing and if you knowa little bit about our listeners
on the Vision Driven Marriage,we have an audience that focuses
on God working in and throughtheir marriages and becoming,
you know, having a moresolidified marriage because of
Christ.
Tell us a little bit how Godhas worked in your life through
(07:53):
your marriage.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Okay, well, I was 18, just barely 18, 23 days old
when I got married 18.
And my husband was 20, fixingto turn 21.
We knew nothing about life.
We knew nothing about marriage.
We had no clue what we weregetting ourselves into, and back
(08:18):
then they didn't have seminarsyou could go to.
I'm not even sure they hadbooks about marriage.
If they did, I didn't knowabout it.
But I had been a Christian fortwo years and the word was
beginning to talk to me a lot.
I could understand a little bitmore of it.
(08:39):
But then I got pregnant veryearly and had our first daughter
11 months after we were married.
The one thing I did not knowwhen I got pregnant very early
and had our first daughter 11months after we were married,
the one thing I did not knowwhen I got married was I thought
I knew everything about thisman that I needed to know.
I did not know he loved huntingand fishing and as a 19 year
(09:00):
old mother, I'm going.
Why don't you want to spendtime with me?
You?
know, and I didn't know anythingabout a baby, had never been
around babies, had no idea whatI was doing with this baby.
(09:23):
It was hot, we had no airconditioning, she got colic, so
colic babies cry all day long.
And one day, sitting in myliving room rocking her with a
fan running on us, I just brokedown and it just overwhelmed me
and I said, god, I can't do this.
(09:45):
I don't know how to be a wifeto a man who seemingly loves
hunting and fishing more than heloves me.
And I heard a voice and it saidthen why are you trying to
change what you didn't create?
I said because he's not beingthe dad and the husband he's
(10:07):
supposed to be.
And he said you didn't createhim, I did.
But if you will let me changeyou, I'll let you watch as I
change him.
And I knew in that moment I hada decision I had to make was I
(10:28):
going to listen to that voice orwas I going to keep complaining
and be miserable?
And I don't know what happenedin that moment, but I, at that
time, I made the decision Iwould never complain.
And so I told my husband.
I said I will never complainabout you going hunting and
fishing.
Now I can't say I didn'tcomplain if he didn't come home
(10:48):
when he was supposed to.
But I did never complain and Istill don't to this day.
But it was just an amazingmoment in my life and to know
that the Holy Spirit cared thatmuch about me that he was going
to help me do this.
(11:10):
And so I didn't know how to be awife and he didn't know how to
be a husband.
So for me I had to go to theword.
I didn't have a book to read, Ididn't have anybody to talk to,
because my stepmother and Ididn't have a really great
relationship.
His mother still had smallchildren at home.
(11:31):
He's a family of eight andshe's tired.
She did, and she didn't knowthat much about the bible either
.
She just knew Jesus loved her.
So I said, lord, you're goingto have to teach me how to do
this.
And I think that's the moment Ilearned to always ask the Holy
Spirit how do I do that?
(11:52):
Because the Bible teaches usmany things to do.
He just don't always tell ushow to do it.
Right.
I said you're tell us how to doit Right.
Right, you're gonna have, I saidyou're gonna have to teach me.
So the first thing he led me towas the book of Proverbs,
chapter 31.
Well, I'm nowhere near thatwoman, Uh, although I have done
(12:14):
a lot of things.
That's in there.
But the one thing that stoodout to me in that passage is the
fact that, uh, he says yourhusband, her husband, will be
known at the gate.
And I went well, how do I dothat?
How do I let people know?
This is a special man?
(12:37):
And so I began to brag on him,because my husband can do just
or at that time, could do justabout anything, because he grew
up on a farm.
And that's what you have to do.
You do everything.
And we bought a house.
It was just a white house.
He bricked it the whole house.
(12:59):
He built a garage and brickedit, built a back he bricked it
the whole house.
He built a garage and brickedit, built a back room and
bricked it.
And so I just began bragging onhim on the things that he could
do.
He could work on a car and fixit.
He saved us thousands ofdollars in car repairs and any
kind of repairs.
He just knew how to do stufflike that, and so I just bragged
(13:23):
on him a lot.
Well, the first change that Ican actually say I noticed from
the Holy Spirit was the fact myhusband thought that he was
saved when we got married.
Now, if anybody should havenever even dated, much less
married, it was he and I,because we have nothing in
(13:44):
common except three things hewasn't a truck driver, he wasn't
a drinker and he was aChristian.
But at about 26, somewherealong in there, he discovered he
wasn't saved, and he was savedin my living room floor that
sunday yeah yeah.
(14:06):
So that was the first big changein him.
Because he would.
He would go to church with meon sunday morning, but he would
never go on sunday night and hewould never go on wednesday
night.
Of course he worked secondshift on Wednesday so he didn't
always get to go, but that was abig change for him and through
(14:27):
the years I've watched as theSpirit has done it Well.
Then he led me to Ephesians,where it talks about wives
submitting to your husbands.
Now I think people get thewrong direction on submitting
because most people think that'sbeing a floor mat.
No, that's not what it'stalking about.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
He's talking about the fact that Society thinks
that a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah, it's just knowing and respecting his place
in the home, that he is thefather, he is the head, just
like god, the father is the headof us and jesus christ is over
us, but it's you know, I stillhave a voice and I still tell
him things that you know well, Ithink we need to do this and
(15:18):
and we'll discuss it, but uh,yeah, to be submissive to him is
to simply respect him for whohe is.
He is my husband, he is thefather of my children and he is
the head of this household.
So I've practiced that and andit takes practice, it's not
something that you do and yougot it and boy I'm yay.
(15:44):
No, it's a constant battle, orit has been for me, a battle
that I, you know, I would haveto say, barbara, keep your mouth
shut.
You can't do that now, today.
I think it's a constant battlefor everybody.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
It's one of those things that our listeners tell
us a lot.
You know they they feel like afailure if they don't get it
immediately.
So I'm so glad you shared whatwe, Leslie and I, know is true,
and good to hear it from you aswell, that it's something we
have to practice every day andwe're not going to be great at
some of the things God's askedus to do right away, but he'll
give us the ability to getbetter and better and better at
(16:22):
it as we surrender to him.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah and that.
But that's true with anything.
It's not just marriage, it'sanything.
When we, when I got saved, Ididn't automatically know
everything and know how to doeverything.
And when I do learn everythingand know how to do everything,
and when I do learn, dosomething, I have to learn it
(16:45):
once, but then I have to learnit maybe 10 or 15 times before I
really get what I'm supposed tobe doing and how I'm supposed
to be doing it.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Well, I'm glad to hear that you were obedient in
that calling when the Lord putit on your heart to be the wife
that God called you to be,because I bet that that was
pretty instrumental in yourhusband coming to the Lord,
because if he had had to battlehis wife about how God made him
(17:13):
or not, that that would havebeen the battle, but he would
have had that insecurity abouthow he was made because it
wasn't fitting with theexpectations that you had in
your relationship.
He may have had a lot hardertime coming to the Lord than
what he did when he did it at 26, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, I agree.
I totally agree, that is.
It's just the fact that youhave to make the effort.
God's ready to do it.
We just have to make the effortand cooperate with him.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Now, how many years have you been married, Barbara?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
We've been married 59 , 60 years if we live to August.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Wow, congratulations, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Thank you, yes, yes, it is For two people that had
nothing absolutely in common.
You know, everything in ourlives were different growing up,
so it's just amazing that Godhas kept us together.
Yes, but God.
I gave him the glory for it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yes, god knew that you needed each other, and so
that's just been amazing.
I love to hear those types ofstories where the Lord has used
a spouse to help facilitategrowth Christian growth, you
know, specifically spiritualgrowth in their relationship.
I know in Doug and I'srelationship, because he was
(18:47):
following the leading of theLord and and and seeking to be
Christ-like.
That provided a place for me toheal from, you know, the my
childhood background.
It just gave me a safe place toto begin to be myself and
understand how much the Lordloves me.
And I don't think I would haveexperienced, you know,
(19:10):
experienced that security tobegin to believe in the Lord and
what the Lord has for me asquickly as I did if it hadn't
been for the fact that he wasfollowing the Lord, you know.
And then he came home one dayand said I think I'm supposed to
preach and, you know, be apastor, and I'm like well, you
(19:31):
know, I don't know what thatentails.
We had four young children atthe time and I don't know what
that entails, but I had.
I had always made the commentfrom the time that we got
married I will follow youanywhere.
And I just remember hearingthat in.
You know, I meantgeographically right.
I meant if you want to live onthe East coast, fine.
(19:52):
If you want to live on the Westcoast, fine, I will follow you
anywhere.
But what that really meant wasfollowing him into ministry, and
so so, when the Lord had justprepared my heart to follow him
anywhere, I didn't know it wasgoing to be into the ministry.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
So yeah, that happens a lot.
Unfortunately I haven't had todo that, but my husband now is a
deacon at our church, so he hasthat ministry going on too.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Well, that is a very good ministry to have.
We have some solid deacons inour church and they are just,
sometimes they're just Doug'sright hand, I mean, they're just
invaluable in our little body,you know.
So it's just been great.
That is, that's wonderful.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Well, tell me, barbara, what is one thing that
you contribute the longevity ofyour marriage to Staying in the
word yes, that if you don't, ifyou don't stay in the word,
you're not going to learn evenhow to live, much less how to be
married or how to deal withpeople.
You have to learn that God hasa way for you to live and then
(21:08):
you have to obey that word yeah,and it's.
That doesn't mean it's alwayseasy.
Sometimes it's very, very hard,but you still have to accept
the fact that he's in control ofmy life totally.
I gave him my life when Iwalked that out and he is in
total control of everything I doand everywhere I go, and who I
(21:31):
meet and what I say andeverything.
He's just in control of it all.
But I have to stay close tothat word because Jesus is the
word.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
And.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
I just always have made that my point of anchor.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Well, and we, Leslie and I, know that so much of that
just echoes as true in ourlives.
The Holy Spirit's shown us somany of those same truths.
What could you tell some of ouryoung married couples who are
listening?
What do you think are some ofthe most important things that a
young couple should look to andshould do if they want to be
(22:10):
able to not only draw closer toeach other but to be able to
glorify God through theirmarriage?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Prayer.
I can remember, as a young wifeand a young mother, many times
at night I talked to my husband.
He didn't always understandwhat I was talking about, but I
would go to bed at night and,like Joseph I believe Joseph is
(22:39):
17.
He didn't talk about what wenton in his life, but he, I
believe he prayed to God everynight about it.
And so he talked, talked to Godabout his things that were
hurting him and how he wasdisappointed in life.
So if you're a young wife andyou don't know how to do this
(23:00):
thing called marriage, just talkto God about it.
He knows it anyway.
He knows what's going on, buthe wants to hear it from you and
always ask for the HolySpirit's help.
That's what he's here for tohelp us get through marriage,
get through life and to beobedient.
(23:22):
And if we don't ask for hishelp, he just sits there and we
don't really reap the benefitsof being saved through Christ.
So my advice to young people ismake prayer a priority, make
the word a priority, but alwaysknow that he's the one that's
(23:46):
going to say yes or no to all ofit.
It's a good word.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
I think one of the things yes, that is a good word,
I know, I just want to jump upand shout amen.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Well, go ahead, yes amen Well go ahead.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
One of the things I found interesting about what you
said, barbara, is that when youdescribed being in prayer, you
positioned it as individuallyand not as a couple, and I think
that that is so very importantin that we, as an individual you
know myself as an individualand Doug as an individual, you
(24:22):
know so our listeners asindividuals need to commit to
prayer, knowing that the leadingof the Holy Spirit is going to
be what leads you into, whatsolidifies that relationship,
because he knows what needs tohappen in that relationship,
probably more than either thehusband or the wife, you know,
and I think the leading of theHoly Spirit is what helps create
(24:47):
the space in a relationship forwhat needs to happen to happen,
because we don't know a lot oftimes what needs to happen, but
the Lord knows what needs tohappen in that relationship for
it to be a good relationship.
And so if we're not, if we havenot committed ourselves to being
in prayer and being in the word, like you mentioned, then we
(25:11):
are not as positioned to createthat safe place as for our
spouse as what we could be if wewere in prayer and in the word
and following the leading of theHoly spirit to make that space
in our relationship thatglorifies the Lord, because
we're all different, right?
(25:32):
I mean, so many times you hearthe steps about how to
communicate better and we hearthe the steps on how to be more
intimate.
And in fact we've done, ifwe've done one podcast on those,
we've done four or five on thatsame subject.
Right, but without the leadingof the Holy spirit, knowing the
relationship, you know thosesteps might not be what that
(25:55):
relationship needs, you know.
So when we take care of our ownwalk with the Lord and our walk
with Jesus and our time in theword, we're going to be able to
create that space that the Lordhas to solidify that
relationship.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
That's correct, you know, I guess that encounter
with the Holy spirit at 19, withmy daughter in my lap, it just
it changed life for me.
And physically they're well.
(26:37):
I can't do anything at ourchurch locally anymore because I
have severe neuropathy, I havesome vision problems, and so
there's things you know thethings I've done all my life in
the church.
I no longer can do that, butGod can still use you and I have
to depend upon the Holy Spirit.
(26:58):
I love to quilt, I absolutelylove to quilt, and I had gotten
to where my vision was so bad Icouldn't.
And then God sent me to adoctor that helped me with that.
But it took out a lot of well,took out all of my depth
perception.
I have no depth perceptionanymore, and so the thread, a
(27:22):
needle is literally impossiblefor me.
And yet every, every time I mythread breaks, I'll say okay,
holy spirit, this is your time,you know where that eye is and I
have no clue.
And he'll get that needlethreader right through there
every time.
You have to make him a priorityin that he's.
(27:44):
That's what he's here for he isour jesus.
He is our jesus today and he.
He's one that's going to walkwith us and help us through
whatever we go through and youcan say that there's a lot of
things that you can't do.
But, Barbara, you have apodcast Like how cool is that
(28:07):
that started at the age of 75.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
I think that is just amazing.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Well, that's what everybody tells me and it's
totally amazed me.
And I tell him all the time Idon't know how you did this and
I still don't know how you'redoing it, but at 70, the Holy
Spirit led me to go out andshare his story in my life,
which I had never done before.
I don't know why, I guessembarrassment, I don't know.
(28:33):
But anyway I did that and thenCOVID hit and that stopped that.
So in 21, I said what is it youwant me to do?
And then he started thispodcasting and it just grew.
And at 75, yeah, I started hispodcast and it is his story.
(28:54):
Yeah, it's.
He amazes me at the uh.
When I first started my podcast.
I have a friend who is mybiggest supporter but claims to
be an atheist and I have tochuckle inside every time he
says that to me.
But he actually did my intro.
(29:14):
I said you know, I told him oneday.
I said I'm trying to figure outhow to get it integrated with
my podcast.
I haven't figured that out yet.
He said well, bring it over tomy house and we'll work on it.
He said I have been on theirwebsite but I can figure it out
because he's been in TV and hedoes films and stuff.
I said no.
I said you know God led me tothis.
I said you know God led me tothis and so God's going to teach
(29:39):
me how to do this.
And he said well, I hope heknows how to take.
I said he does, he created it.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
He never answered me on that.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
But, yeah, I love to do it because I want people to
know the value of readingscripture and that it scripture
is still.
Yeah, it's stories about allthese people, but it's a story
about your life, absolutely mylife, and that's what I want
(30:13):
people to learn from it.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
How valuable it is for life to live.
Oh, that is wonderful, and Iwill link the link to your
podcast in our show notes sothat our listeners can click the
link and find your podcast.
Also, you said it was onSpotify and I will make sure
that that is linked in the shownotes so our listeners our
listeners can get a hold of that.
I think that is amazing.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Well, thank you.
Every week, when I record it, Ialways tell him I said I'm just
your vessel.
You speak what you want spoken.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
So, it all comes from him and I'm so grateful not
only for what he has done butwhat he continues to do through
your life, just with what you'veshared with us today.
When you surrendered that nightwith your child on your lap, to
the leading of the Holy Spirit,he started to use you in a way
you didn't understand.
(31:11):
That eventually was a testimonythat was used in your husband's
life Praise the Lord, he savedyour husband was a testimony
that was used in your husband'slife Praise the Lord, he saved
your husband.
And now you're getting to sharenot only his word, but you're
getting to share those practicalapplications in your life with
others.
And we know that in Revelationthe Christians are victorious by
the blood of the lamb and theword of their testimony, and so
(31:34):
I'm so grateful that you'resharing the word of God and that
you're sharing your testimony,and you have been a real
blessing to us and to ourlisteners today.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Well, thank you.
I hope so, and I hope somebodycan use it in their life.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Amen.
We want to thank all of you forlistening.
Today Our guest has beenBarbara Culver.
We want you to check out herpodcast called His Story, and
we're Doug and Leslie Davis.
We're continuing to pray foryou that God would solidify your
marriage.
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