April 21, 2025 • 25 mins
Reboot Your Marriage: Clearing the Spiritual Clutter :: [Ep. 265]
Just like smartphones need background apps cleared to function efficiently, our spiritual lives and marriages require periodic rebooting to address undealt-with baggage. In this week's episode, we're talking about a three-step process for spiritual renewal through reassessing our hearts, remembering God's truths, and remaining in His Word.
We will discuss the following:
• Identifying what's "running in the background" of your life that needs addressing
• Understanding that most spiritual clutter comes down to sin
• Recognizing the ongoing battle between our renewed nature and sinful flesh
• Learning to come to God boldly yet humbly, asking Him to examine our hearts
• Practical questions for self-examination
• Remembering that God has given us everything we need for godly living
We hope you will join us and be helped and encouraged. Be sure to join us next week as we continue our "Reboot" series!
For episode transcripts, click HERE.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy
Sellers.
The mission of Vows to Keep isto help couples develop a
biblically healthy marriagethrough the application of God's
Word and a deeper relationshipwith Him.
They desire to help you andyour spouse grow closer to each
other and closer to the heart ofGod's design for your marriage.
Now here's David and Tracy withtoday's broadcast.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
We are David and Tracy Sellers.
We're glad you're here with ustoday.
On Vows to Keep Radio.
We have made vows to keep andwe know that sometimes we need a
personal reboot in our lives ifwe are going to keep those vows
.
We're going to be talking aboutthat today.
Reboot in our lives if we aregoing to keep those vows.
We're going to be talking aboutthat today.
So the first thing we're goingto do is grab our smartphones,
unless you're driving.
If you're driving, do not grabyour smartphone right now.
But if you aren't, if you'vegot an iPhone or a Droid or
(00:56):
whatever, I want you to thinkabout the last app or the last
thing you did on your phone Forme.
I was looking up a map thismorning.
I was checking out a certainroute that I wanted to take, so
what was yours?
Now, if you've got an iPhone,what I want you to do is double
tap your home button right now.
What that's going to do is showyou all the recent apps that
you were in all the way backfrom a long time ago.
If you have an Android phone,you can launch your recent
(01:18):
applications menu.
It'll also show you all theapps that you've been on and you
can actually scroll throughthem.
And sometimes it's prettyshocking how I'm spending my
time during any given day.
Recently, if I look at mine, Ican show you that I've been on
my map application, I've beentexting people, I've been on my
phone, I played a game ofcribbage, I read part of a
Kindle book, I was looking at anESV version of the Bible, and
(01:40):
so on and so on.
But if you're not tech savvy,you may not know that if you
actually swipe up or swipe overon those apps that are running
in your background, that you canclose them.
Now, if you're obsessed aboutyour phone's brain or battery,
you probably only have a couplescreens to get rid of.
But I remember the first time Idid this I'd had a smartphone
for like six years.
I'd never cleared out what wasrunning in the background that I
(02:01):
couldn't see, and someoneshowed me what I could do to
make my little pal here happyagain.
Now go ahead.
You know you want to.
Like I said, if you're notdriving swipe away to your
heart's content, my friend, geta clean slate for the day.
Sometimes my phone willactually freeze up and it takes
more than a few finger swipes toget it happy again, and that's
when I need to actually shut itdown and completely do a restart
(02:23):
, a reboot, a refresh here onVows to Keep Radio.
Today we are going to be walkingthrough a three-step process
that's really easy to rememberwhen it feels like the hard
drive of your own life isgetting bogged down with undealt
with baggage.
We're going to learn how toreassess, how to remember and
how, when we remain in God'sword, that's how we can start
(02:44):
that reboot process.
Your life doesn't have acribbage app hanging out taking
up precious RAM, but your lifemay have some excess
paraphernalia that you carryaround with you at any given
time.
It's the stuff that doesn't getdealt with.
It's the things that bog downyour spiritual life and your
earthly relationships.
So let me ask you this questionwhat is your heart need swiped
(03:06):
away today?
What's bogging down yourmarriage, for example?
Here's some things that arehanging out in the background of
my life right now, things thatneed to get swiped away.
Perhaps the ungodly fear thataccompanies a really big
decision that David and I aretrying to make right now as a
family.
We've got a ministry, we've gotregular jobs, we've got three
(03:26):
kids, we've got a life tobalance and sometimes getting
out of whack in those prioritiescan get me bogged down faster
than anything else.
Like I said, we have threechildren and I struggle with
parenting them without anger andwhen I do, that takes me down
immediately.
Not making an idol out of food,not making an idol out of other
(03:47):
things in our life, puttingthings above our God, our family
and our marriage.
Sometimes I think, especially aswomen, we have a really hard
time even knowing what it isthat's in our peripheral.
As we look in the side mirrorof our lives, sometimes we can
catch a glimpse of the monkeythat's on our backs.
But either we can't or we willnot identify what it is.
(04:09):
And if we don't identify what'sbugging us, then we can't get
rid of it.
Or we know it's there and wedon't want to deal with it right
now.
So we tell ourselves you knowwhat it's going to fall off.
If I give it enough time, orwhen I have enough time to
manage it, then I'll assess thedamage.
And this particular monkey I'vehad on my back for a long time.
So I don't really want to getrid of it right now.
(04:31):
It's a sin that I'm sort oftreasuring in my heart right now
.
So I'm just going to repositionit and decide to live with it,
and when I do that, I've gotthree more monkeys join the
cause to take me down.
So let me ask you again todaywhat does your heart need to be
swiped away?
What does your marriage need tobe swiped away?
What monkeys are on your backthat maybe you haven't even
identified?
(04:51):
What are the background appsthat are running on your device
that have been there for a whileundealt with?
If you're not sure what it is,if you're not sure how to list
what you've got going on, let memake easy for you today the
things that need to go in yourlife, in your marriage, or
anything that doesn't belong inthe life of a believer in Jesus
(05:12):
Christ.
And basically, we could almostboil it down to one single
category, and it's a big one.
It's sin, our personal sin, theselfishness that we all battle
on a daily basis, taking care ofus first, the worry, the
anxiety, the striving forcontrol, the fear and the lack
of trust, and even the regretand condemnation that comes from
(05:36):
the sins of our past, notremembering that God has truly
forgiven us and that we are freefrom those sins in Jesus Christ
.
As you can see, a good majorityof what needs to be rebooted in
our lives comes down to thatsingle word sin, falling short
of the glory of God.
If you've got your Bibles andyou're able to, I want you to
(05:57):
turn to Psalm 51, 5.
This is a Psalm of David, andhe prayed this prayer to God
right after he recognized hissin with Bathsheba and how short
he had fallen of the glory ofGod.
Psalm 51 5 says surely I wassinful at birth, sinful from the
time my mother conceived me.
You and I were born sinners.
(06:18):
It's our human condition rightfrom the get-go, so it's
something that we all know.
If we take a close look in ourside mirrors, we see, yeah, this
is what's taking me down rightnow.
Not only were we born sinners,but we live with sinners, and
their sin is going to give us anoption pretty much every single
day.
Are we going to choose toforgive them?
(06:39):
We're going to choose to holdtheir sin against them when we
become the judge of our spouse,when we feel entitled to
something, maybe even themcoming to us and asking for
forgiveness, and we hold thatover their head.
That is not a weight thatthey're going to bear.
That's actually a weight thatwe are going to bear Before we
(06:59):
get into God's solution for ustoday.
To reboot, let's just mention acouple other things that many of
us get bogged down with.
There's the sin of unbelief,not believing God's truth, but
there's also the very realreality of things that we've
learned or been taughtincorrectly about ourselves or
about God.
We're believing things thataren't true because we're not
(07:21):
quite sure what God's word saysabout them.
The untruths that we carryaround can become really heavy
burdens to bear.
Now, god's word is really clearwhen it tells us that what's in
our heart is what actuallycomes out and manifests itself
in our lives.
You and I, no matter what webelieve, we all live out of a
belief system, whether it'sbased upon the truth of God's
word or not, and the final one.
(07:43):
We can even be bogged down bythings done in sin to us that we
haven't reconciled with abiblical perspective.
What baggage are you cartingaround today?
My heart and who I am and whatI believe in the inmost part of
my being, is my own personalhard drive.
When I first got a cell phone,it was one of those prepaid flip
(08:04):
phones and I was pretty excitedto have it, but then I upgraded
to a smartphone eventually andthat was kind of like you and I
our life before Christ.
We had this little device thatdidn't quite work like we needed
it to, and then we receivedthis shiny new system.
On the day of our salvation, weget a sin-purged life made new
by Christ.
(08:24):
Jesus loads us up with all theprograms and all the apps we
would ever need to functionsuccessfully.
In my new life as a believer, 2Peter 1.3 talks about that.
It says by his divine power,god has given us everything we
need for living a godly life.
That is good news.
That is the best news.
We have access to the appdeveloper.
(08:45):
We have access to the creatorof our internal wiring.
He does constant free updatesand bug fixes in our lives and
he does it all by his glory andpower and excellence.
That's what 2 Peter 1, 3 tellsus.
You and I are not lacking athing, even when we feel like we
are.
Jesus is what I've been lookingfor for all my anxious thoughts
(09:09):
about this big decision that meand my husband have about our
family.
Jesus is the provider of thebalance that I need in my life
and my ministry and my work as Ikeep my eyes on him.
Jesus is my example to followin parenting without anger.
Jesus is the power I need overthe sin of gluttony in my life
(09:29):
and he's the one that can helpme to see where I'm blind, to
the monkeys that are on my back.
He's asking us today do youwant to reboot?
Does your personal life, yourpersonal spiritual life, need a
reboot?
Does your marriage need areboot?
Are you tripping over eachother's sins in your household?
Are you tripping over your ownsins, bruised by the
(09:50):
consequences and ready to seekhealing in your marriage?
If so, he is handing that to ustoday, saying this is possible
for you.
God says it's possible byreassessing, remembering and
remaining in his word.
Today, on Vows to Keep Radio,we're going to be studying a man
(10:10):
named King David.
This is a man who messed uproyally, but he's going to show
us a pattern on how to reach upto God in order to reboot.
He is God's chosen king overIsrael.
He's the first king over Israel, but really he's a lot like us
in so many ways.
He is called, just like you andI are called, to live a life on
(10:31):
mission.
He was chosen specifically byGod, handpicked, and that's
exactly what you and I are today, children of God.
David was in pursuit of God andI hope that's where you find
yourself today.
David was extremely, extremelysinful, just like you and I are.
But here's something that hewas that I hope you and I can
say that this is us too.
(10:52):
He was unwilling to overlookhis sin.
David was given everything heneeded for life and godliness,
just like you and I are handedeverything we need for our life
as a Christian.
But David gets on this seesaw,getting off track in his sin and
getting back on track bywholeheartedly pursuing God and
then falling right back off withsin again.
(11:13):
We're going to get veryfamiliar today with his
vacillating heart, and as welook at his, we're hopefully
going to see our own as well.
Where we're going to bespending the most of our time
today is in Psalm 119.
We're also going to, in just afew minutes, turn over to Romans
, chapter 7.
Let me tell you a little bitabout Psalm 119.
It is the longest chapter inGod's word 176 verses long, and
(11:36):
King David wrote this.
It's a poem, it's a prayer fromhis heart.
The whole thing is written toGod and it's written in a really
interesting way.
It's organized in sections ofeight verses each, and there's
22 sections, each one startingwith a new letter of the Hebrew
alphabet.
As I read through this Psalm,here's what I got from it.
(11:56):
I don't think David had anydelusions that he was perfect.
This is the same man who wrotein Psalm 139, search me, o God,
know my heart, test me and knowmy anxious thoughts.
He was willing to look at hissin, recognize his current
weakness and persevere ingodliness.
What sin is the monkey on yourback, and are you willing to
(12:19):
identify it?
The temptation to lust on theinternet or at work, maybe even
seeking significance throughwhat other people are thinking
about you at your job?
Not taking the time with ourspouse that we need to?
Not making them the priority inour lives that God has called
us to?
Maybe the sin that you'redealing with right now is not
(12:40):
raising your kids according toGod's word, according to
Deuteronomy 6, where it says totalk about God's word as we get
up in the morning, as we gothroughout our day, and in our
apathy as parents, we leave thenext generation of God's army
uneducated about God's word andhow it applies in our modern
world today.
The ungodly fear that weighs medown every day, the wrong belief
(13:03):
that we have to prove ourselvesto God, everything that bogs us
down, our sin, that trips us upthe lies that we believe can't
be swiped away, they can't bedealt with if we aren't willing
to do two critical things, thethings that David prayed in
Psalm 139, lord search me, knowme.
David prayed in Psalm 139, lordsearch me, know me, test me.
The first thing we need to dois to come to God.
(13:26):
Come to God boldly and humblyand shutting out the rest of the
world, even if just for alittle bit.
And the second thing ask God tocome to us.
Now, I'm not saying that he'snot with us, always he is.
If you are a Christian, youhave the Holy Spirit on the
inside of you.
He is constantly with you, andGod is also omnipresent.
But it's a different kind ofasking him to come to us.
(13:48):
This is what David is sayingLord, I'm inviting you to come
and examine my whole heart, mywhole life.
I don't want to hide anythingfrom you.
So before we get into Psalm 119here, I want you to turn over
to Romans, chapter 7.
This is verse 18 and 19.
Paul is the writer of this, andI think Paul and David could
have been pretty good friendswith each other and pretty good
(14:10):
friends with us, because we'reall going through the same thing
.
We realize that our sin is notjust one and done.
It's an ongoing struggle.
Paul says in verse 18 of Romans7, I know that nothing good
lives in me, that is in mysinful nature.
I want to do what's right, butI can't.
I want to do what's good, but Idon't.
(14:30):
I don't want to do what iswrong, but you know what?
That is exactly what I end updoing anyway.
Boy, can I relate with him.
And here is the first step torebooting, because our battle
with sin is ongoing.
Our assessment needs to beongoing.
Are you willing to ask God toreassess your heart, to even get
(14:51):
a self-awareness of your heart?
Ask God to reassess your heart,to even get a self-awareness of
your heart, what our renewednature in Christ Jesus desires
and what our fleshly nature ofsin, our sin nature still inside
of us, opposes.
That equals the Christian heartbattle.
We oscillate between wanting todo the right thing, wanting our
own way, and really justwanting to do nothing at all,
(15:12):
just sitting on the sidelines.
I call it perennial pride,prevailing passiveness and
persistent pursuit.
I am a great self-deceiver.
How about you?
I can go into numb mode prettyfast.
I can go into ignoring modeeven quicker, and maintenance
mode is what typically follows.
Both of those things I tellmyself.
(15:32):
You know what the sin I've beendealing with?
It's fine, it'll go away on itsown, or no one knows about it,
so no one needs to know about it.
I've been doing this a longtime and I can handle it.
I'll deal with this monkey onmy back when I have the energy.
But the antidote, the swipe, soto speak, is asking God to
reassess our hearts, coming toGod ready to get an honest
(15:54):
evaluation of our hard drive.
If you have Psalm 119 open infront of you, or if you have a
chance to do this later today, Iwould really encourage you to
do this.
We're going to break this Psalmapart, basically piece by piece
, and we're going to behighlighting in three different
colors today.
So if you have a highlighter ora pen that's a certain color, I
want you to get that out.
If you could see my Bible rightnow, you're going to see that I
(16:18):
have a lot of phrasesunderlined or highlighted in
yellow in Psalm 119.
What I did was I went throughthis whole Psalm and I
highlighted David's ask to God,what he is asking God to do for
him.
Things like turn to me, havemercy on me, remove me from
(16:45):
scorn and contempt.
I started to realize that Davidwas coming before God, stepping
into the light.
Here.
His requests are put out thereto God with a deep expectancy
that God will answer, that Godwill, yes, recognize David's
weaknesses but at the same timecome to his rescue.
You can hear David's request toGod to turn to me.
(17:06):
Be my refuge, lord, don'tutterly forsake me, keep me from
deceitful ways.
I can just almost hear thisbegging in his tone.
He's saying Lord, enable me tobe the godly man that you have
called me to be.
I know I'm not there yet.
I know I have the sin natureinside of me.
I need you, god.
I was reading through Ephesians,chapter four, recently and I
(17:28):
ran across verse 17 through 19.
And I realized that this canpossibly be our reality.
It is more than possible.
Ephesians 4 says to walk in thefutility of our minds, darken
in our understanding of Godbecause we don't take time to
know God, we don't take time toknow his word and our hearts are
(17:49):
capable of becoming hardenedand calloused when we practice
sin.
Let me give you a personalexample.
I was a very frustrated mom fora very long time.
I still have that tendency,laying down my law for my kids
rather than pointing them toGod's perfect law that leads to
liberty.
It was a hard monster to looksquare in the eyes.
(18:13):
I knew it was there, but Ireally didn't know how to deal
with it, and sometimes I justdidn't want to deal with it.
It was easy to believe it wouldjust go away on its own as I
got older.
But just because people getolder doesn't mean they
necessarily are maturing.
Psalm 119, the chapter thatwe're really peering deeply into
today, verse 60, david saysI've considered my ways and I've
(18:36):
turned my steps to yourstatutes.
God David is saying here I wantto be above board with you,
with my needs.
God, here is where I am.
No self-deception in sight.
Maybe you're familiar with theverse from James, chapter 1,
where it says don't merelylisten to the word and so
deceive yourself.
My husband saw my anger.
(19:00):
My kids saw my anger.
God did too.
I knew what God's word said,but I wasn't living it out.
God knows your weakness in yourlife?
Do you God knows your weaknessin your life?
Do you God knows your heart?
Are you willing to peer intohis word and walk in his
statutes today?
(19:20):
Turning back over to Romans,chapter 7, paul continues this
heart struggle, this Christianheart battle that you and I have
.
He says I love God's law withall my heart, but there's
another power within me that'sat war with my mind.
This power makes me a slave tothe sin that is still within me.
(19:41):
Paul is praying here, god'sfavorite prayer.
He's saying help.
I need you.
I can't do anything without you.
I can't have a good marriagewithout you.
I can't be a good parentwithout you.
Come to me, give me everythingI need for life and godliness.
I think that's God's favoriteprayer, because he has the best
(20:01):
answer for that prayer His sonJesus Christ.
Do you know Jesus as yourSavior today?
Or maybe you just know of him?
Have you sat in church foryears and you've heard his
stories?
Maybe you've even looked at him.
Maybe you've even believed inhim, but you haven't been
willing to let him look at you.
(20:22):
Before we go on here today atVows to Keep Radio, I want to
give you the opportunity to takea moment before God, just you
and him, asking him to take alook at your heart.
God, just you and him, askinghim to take a look at your heart
, saying God, I'd like you toassess me right now.
Where am I really at?
David says in Psalm 26 to putme on trial, lord, cross-examine
me, test my motives and myheart.
(20:44):
That takes a lot of guts topray a prayer like that.
It takes letting God hit yourhome button twice and swipe away
the sins that you've beenhanging on to for too long.
Come to him today and ask himto come to you.
Maybe your prayer today is Lord,help me.
This is my ask to you.
I'm asking you to help mebelieve what you say about your
(21:06):
son.
Lord, I'm asking you to raiseme up above the sin that's
tempting me today.
Lord, show me where you'reworking in my life and show me
how I can be a tool in myspouse's life.
Lord, give me hope for mymarriage, because that's where
I'm lacking.
Lord, sustain me.
Lord, teach me.
Lord, I'm asking you tostrengthen me.
(21:27):
If you're taking notes today, Iwant you to write down three
questions to review later ontoday or tomorrow in your quiet
time with God?
Here's the first one.
What truths am I having a hardtime believing right now?
Truths from God's word.
What's difficult for me?
What can I ask God for helpwith?
Here's the second one.
What biblical application ishard for me?
(21:48):
What does God's wordspecifically tell me to do, like
use a gentle tone and build oneanother up, or to not gossip,
to not lie, to not be deceitfultoward my spouse.
What biblical application ishard for me?
And then take a minute to askGod to help you with that?
What sins is God revealing tome as I read his word?
(22:09):
That's the third one.
This is the first step to rebootyour relationship with your
spouse, your relationship withGod, your personal ask coming to
God saying Lord, I'm reachingup to you because I can't do
this without you.
I am a great self deceiver, andso are you.
We think that we know best andwe try to write our own rules
(22:31):
for our lives and our marriages.
We think that we know best andwe try to write our own rules
for our lives and our marriages.
We think that we reignsovereign and that we don't need
to ask God for help.
We forget that God has given useverything we need for life and
for godliness according to thepower that's at work within us.
Jeremiah 17 is how we're goingto end our talk here today on
(22:51):
Vows to Keep Radio, and then Ihope you can tune in for part
two of Reboot next week.
Jeremiah 17, 9 and 10.
God says the human heart is themost deceitful of all things
and it's desperately wicked.
Who really knows how bad it is?
You and I cannot see to thebottom of the depths of our
hearts, but you know what Godcan.
(23:13):
In verse 10, he says but I, theLord, I search all hearts and I
examine secret motives.
I test the heart.
I am searching your mind today.
God says Will you come before me, open and honest, about what's
really in your heart, about thethoughts you're really having
that are causing you to take theactions that you are doing in
(23:33):
your life and in your marriage?
Will you let me cross-examineyou today?
Will you come humbly before measking me to come to you and
search your heart?
If you are looking for a rebootin your marriage, start with
the ask what do you need God'shelp with today?
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Lord, teach me, show me, helpme, don't let me be blindsided
by my own sin.
And then next week on Vows toKeep Radio.
We're going to go into the nexttwo things that David did to
reboot.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Like what you heard today on Vows to Keep Radio.
Listen to more life-changingbroadcasts at VowsToKeepcom.
Vows to Keep is supported by ateam which includes biblical
coaches, writers and pastoraladvisors.
If you have a desire to servemarriages in your community, we
would love to hear from you.
Vows to Keep is anot-for-profit marriage ministry
(24:28):
designed to bring God'sencouraging truth to the
marriages of our area.
As a not-for-profitorganization, our commitment to
Christlike marriages includesproviding much-needed services,
regardless of a couple'sfinancial ability to offset the
cost of Vows to Keep operations.
If you are unable to donateyour time or abilities, but
would like to help support Vowsto Keep financially, visit
(24:50):
VowsToKeepcom and click on thedonate link.
This program is sponsored byVows to Keep of Zanesfield, ohio
.
Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy
Sellers.
The mission of Vows to Keep isto help couples develop a
biblically healthy marriagethrough the application of God's
Word and a deeper relationshipwith Him.
They desire to help you andyour spouse grow closer to each
other and closer to the heart ofGod's design for your marriage.
Now here's David and Tracy withtoday's broadcast.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
We are David and Tracy Sellers.
We're glad you're here with ustoday.
On Vows to Keep Radio.
We have made vows to keep andwe know that sometimes we need a
personal reboot in our lives ifwe are going to keep those vows
.
We're going to be talking aboutthat today.
Reboot in our lives if we aregoing to keep those vows.
We're going to be talking aboutthat today.
So the first thing we're goingto do is grab our smartphones,
unless you're driving.
If you're driving, do not grabyour smartphone right now.
But if you aren't, if you'vegot an iPhone or a Droid or
(00:56):
whatever, I want you to thinkabout the last app or the last
thing you did on your phone Forme.
I was looking up a map thismorning.
I was checking out a certainroute that I wanted to take, so
what was yours?
Now, if you've got an iPhone,what I want you to do is double
tap your home button right now.
What that's going to do is showyou all the recent apps that
you were in all the way backfrom a long time ago.
If you have an Android phone,you can launch your recent
(01:18):
applications menu.
It'll also show you all theapps that you've been on and you
can actually scroll throughthem.
And sometimes it's prettyshocking how I'm spending my
time during any given day.
Recently, if I look at mine, Ican show you that I've been on
my map application, I've beentexting people, I've been on my
phone, I played a game ofcribbage, I read part of a
Kindle book, I was looking at anESV version of the Bible, and
(01:40):
so on and so on.
But if you're not tech savvy,you may not know that if you
actually swipe up or swipe overon those apps that are running
in your background, that you canclose them.
Now, if you're obsessed aboutyour phone's brain or battery,
you probably only have a couplescreens to get rid of.
But I remember the first time Idid this I'd had a smartphone
for like six years.
I'd never cleared out what wasrunning in the background that I
(02:01):
couldn't see, and someoneshowed me what I could do to
make my little pal here happyagain.
Now go ahead.
You know you want to.
Like I said, if you're notdriving swipe away to your
heart's content, my friend, geta clean slate for the day.
Sometimes my phone willactually freeze up and it takes
more than a few finger swipes toget it happy again, and that's
when I need to actually shut itdown and completely do a restart
(02:23):
, a reboot, a refresh here onVows to Keep Radio.
Today we are going to be walkingthrough a three-step process
that's really easy to rememberwhen it feels like the hard
drive of your own life isgetting bogged down with undealt
with baggage.
We're going to learn how toreassess, how to remember and
how, when we remain in God'sword, that's how we can start
(02:44):
that reboot process.
Your life doesn't have acribbage app hanging out taking
up precious RAM, but your lifemay have some excess
paraphernalia that you carryaround with you at any given
time.
It's the stuff that doesn't getdealt with.
It's the things that bog downyour spiritual life and your
earthly relationships.
So let me ask you this questionwhat is your heart need swiped
(03:06):
away today?
What's bogging down yourmarriage, for example?
Here's some things that arehanging out in the background of
my life right now, things thatneed to get swiped away.
Perhaps the ungodly fear thataccompanies a really big
decision that David and I aretrying to make right now as a
family.
We've got a ministry, we've gotregular jobs, we've got three
(03:26):
kids, we've got a life tobalance and sometimes getting
out of whack in those prioritiescan get me bogged down faster
than anything else.
Like I said, we have threechildren and I struggle with
parenting them without anger andwhen I do, that takes me down
immediately.
Not making an idol out of food,not making an idol out of other
(03:47):
things in our life, puttingthings above our God, our family
and our marriage.
Sometimes I think, especially aswomen, we have a really hard
time even knowing what it isthat's in our peripheral.
As we look in the side mirrorof our lives, sometimes we can
catch a glimpse of the monkeythat's on our backs.
But either we can't or we willnot identify what it is.
(04:09):
And if we don't identify what'sbugging us, then we can't get
rid of it.
Or we know it's there and wedon't want to deal with it right
now.
So we tell ourselves you knowwhat it's going to fall off.
If I give it enough time, orwhen I have enough time to
manage it, then I'll assess thedamage.
And this particular monkey I'vehad on my back for a long time.
So I don't really want to getrid of it right now.
(04:31):
It's a sin that I'm sort oftreasuring in my heart right now
.
So I'm just going to repositionit and decide to live with it,
and when I do that, I've gotthree more monkeys join the
cause to take me down.
So let me ask you again todaywhat does your heart need to be
swiped away?
What does your marriage need tobe swiped away?
What monkeys are on your backthat maybe you haven't even
identified?
(04:51):
What are the background appsthat are running on your device
that have been there for a whileundealt with?
If you're not sure what it is,if you're not sure how to list
what you've got going on, let memake easy for you today the
things that need to go in yourlife, in your marriage, or
anything that doesn't belong inthe life of a believer in Jesus
(05:12):
Christ.
And basically, we could almostboil it down to one single
category, and it's a big one.
It's sin, our personal sin, theselfishness that we all battle
on a daily basis, taking care ofus first, the worry, the
anxiety, the striving forcontrol, the fear and the lack
of trust, and even the regretand condemnation that comes from
(05:36):
the sins of our past, notremembering that God has truly
forgiven us and that we are freefrom those sins in Jesus Christ
.
As you can see, a good majorityof what needs to be rebooted in
our lives comes down to thatsingle word sin, falling short
of the glory of God.
If you've got your Bibles andyou're able to, I want you to
(05:57):
turn to Psalm 51, 5.
This is a Psalm of David, andhe prayed this prayer to God
right after he recognized hissin with Bathsheba and how short
he had fallen of the glory ofGod.
Psalm 51 5 says surely I wassinful at birth, sinful from the
time my mother conceived me.
You and I were born sinners.
(06:18):
It's our human condition rightfrom the get-go, so it's
something that we all know.
If we take a close look in ourside mirrors, we see, yeah, this
is what's taking me down rightnow.
Not only were we born sinners,but we live with sinners, and
their sin is going to give us anoption pretty much every single
day.
Are we going to choose toforgive them?
(06:39):
We're going to choose to holdtheir sin against them when we
become the judge of our spouse,when we feel entitled to
something, maybe even themcoming to us and asking for
forgiveness, and we hold thatover their head.
That is not a weight thatthey're going to bear.
That's actually a weight thatwe are going to bear Before we
(06:59):
get into God's solution for ustoday.
To reboot, let's just mention acouple other things that many of
us get bogged down with.
There's the sin of unbelief,not believing God's truth, but
there's also the very realreality of things that we've
learned or been taughtincorrectly about ourselves or
about God.
We're believing things thataren't true because we're not
(07:21):
quite sure what God's word saysabout them.
The untruths that we carryaround can become really heavy
burdens to bear.
Now, god's word is really clearwhen it tells us that what's in
our heart is what actuallycomes out and manifests itself
in our lives.
You and I, no matter what webelieve, we all live out of a
belief system, whether it'sbased upon the truth of God's
word or not, and the final one.
(07:43):
We can even be bogged down bythings done in sin to us that we
haven't reconciled with abiblical perspective.
What baggage are you cartingaround today?
My heart and who I am and whatI believe in the inmost part of
my being, is my own personalhard drive.
When I first got a cell phone,it was one of those prepaid flip
(08:04):
phones and I was pretty excitedto have it, but then I upgraded
to a smartphone eventually andthat was kind of like you and I
our life before Christ.
We had this little device thatdidn't quite work like we needed
it to, and then we receivedthis shiny new system.
On the day of our salvation, weget a sin-purged life made new
by Christ.
(08:24):
Jesus loads us up with all theprograms and all the apps we
would ever need to functionsuccessfully.
In my new life as a believer, 2Peter 1.3 talks about that.
It says by his divine power,god has given us everything we
need for living a godly life.
That is good news.
That is the best news.
We have access to the appdeveloper.
(08:45):
We have access to the creatorof our internal wiring.
He does constant free updatesand bug fixes in our lives and
he does it all by his glory andpower and excellence.
That's what 2 Peter 1, 3 tellsus.
You and I are not lacking athing, even when we feel like we
are.
Jesus is what I've been lookingfor for all my anxious thoughts
(09:09):
about this big decision that meand my husband have about our
family.
Jesus is the provider of thebalance that I need in my life
and my ministry and my work as Ikeep my eyes on him.
Jesus is my example to followin parenting without anger.
Jesus is the power I need overthe sin of gluttony in my life
(09:29):
and he's the one that can helpme to see where I'm blind, to
the monkeys that are on my back.
He's asking us today do youwant to reboot?
Does your personal life, yourpersonal spiritual life, need a
reboot?
Does your marriage need areboot?
Are you tripping over eachother's sins in your household?
Are you tripping over your ownsins, bruised by the
(09:50):
consequences and ready to seekhealing in your marriage?
If so, he is handing that to ustoday, saying this is possible
for you.
God says it's possible byreassessing, remembering and
remaining in his word.
Today, on Vows to Keep Radio,we're going to be studying a man
(10:10):
named King David.
This is a man who messed uproyally, but he's going to show
us a pattern on how to reach upto God in order to reboot.
He is God's chosen king overIsrael.
He's the first king over Israel, but really he's a lot like us
in so many ways.
He is called, just like you andI are called, to live a life on
(10:31):
mission.
He was chosen specifically byGod, handpicked, and that's
exactly what you and I are today, children of God.
David was in pursuit of God andI hope that's where you find
yourself today.
David was extremely, extremelysinful, just like you and I are.
But here's something that hewas that I hope you and I can
say that this is us too.
(10:52):
He was unwilling to overlookhis sin.
David was given everything heneeded for life and godliness,
just like you and I are handedeverything we need for our life
as a Christian.
But David gets on this seesaw,getting off track in his sin and
getting back on track bywholeheartedly pursuing God and
then falling right back off withsin again.
(11:13):
We're going to get veryfamiliar today with his
vacillating heart, and as welook at his, we're hopefully
going to see our own as well.
Where we're going to bespending the most of our time
today is in Psalm 119.
We're also going to, in just afew minutes, turn over to Romans
, chapter 7.
Let me tell you a little bitabout Psalm 119.
It is the longest chapter inGod's word 176 verses long, and
(11:36):
King David wrote this.
It's a poem, it's a prayer fromhis heart.
The whole thing is written toGod and it's written in a really
interesting way.
It's organized in sections ofeight verses each, and there's
22 sections, each one startingwith a new letter of the Hebrew
alphabet.
As I read through this Psalm,here's what I got from it.
(11:56):
I don't think David had anydelusions that he was perfect.
This is the same man who wrotein Psalm 139, search me, o God,
know my heart, test me and knowmy anxious thoughts.
He was willing to look at hissin, recognize his current
weakness and persevere ingodliness.
What sin is the monkey on yourback, and are you willing to
(12:19):
identify it?
The temptation to lust on theinternet or at work, maybe even
seeking significance throughwhat other people are thinking
about you at your job?
Not taking the time with ourspouse that we need to?
Not making them the priority inour lives that God has called
us to?
Maybe the sin that you'redealing with right now is not
(12:40):
raising your kids according toGod's word, according to
Deuteronomy 6, where it says totalk about God's word as we get
up in the morning, as we gothroughout our day, and in our
apathy as parents, we leave thenext generation of God's army
uneducated about God's word andhow it applies in our modern
world today.
The ungodly fear that weighs medown every day, the wrong belief
(13:03):
that we have to prove ourselvesto God, everything that bogs us
down, our sin, that trips us upthe lies that we believe can't
be swiped away, they can't bedealt with if we aren't willing
to do two critical things, thethings that David prayed in
Psalm 139, lord search me, knowme.
David prayed in Psalm 139, lordsearch me, know me, test me.
The first thing we need to dois to come to God.
(13:26):
Come to God boldly and humblyand shutting out the rest of the
world, even if just for alittle bit.
And the second thing ask God tocome to us.
Now, I'm not saying that he'snot with us, always he is.
If you are a Christian, youhave the Holy Spirit on the
inside of you.
He is constantly with you, andGod is also omnipresent.
But it's a different kind ofasking him to come to us.
(13:48):
This is what David is sayingLord, I'm inviting you to come
and examine my whole heart, mywhole life.
I don't want to hide anythingfrom you.
So before we get into Psalm 119here, I want you to turn over
to Romans, chapter 7.
This is verse 18 and 19.
Paul is the writer of this, andI think Paul and David could
have been pretty good friendswith each other and pretty good
(14:10):
friends with us, because we'reall going through the same thing
.
We realize that our sin is notjust one and done.
It's an ongoing struggle.
Paul says in verse 18 of Romans7, I know that nothing good
lives in me, that is in mysinful nature.
I want to do what's right, butI can't.
I want to do what's good, but Idon't.
(14:30):
I don't want to do what iswrong, but you know what?
That is exactly what I end updoing anyway.
Boy, can I relate with him.
And here is the first step torebooting, because our battle
with sin is ongoing.
Our assessment needs to beongoing.
Are you willing to ask God toreassess your heart, to even get
(14:51):
a self-awareness of your heart?
Ask God to reassess your heart,to even get a self-awareness of
your heart, what our renewednature in Christ Jesus desires
and what our fleshly nature ofsin, our sin nature still inside
of us, opposes.
That equals the Christian heartbattle.
We oscillate between wanting todo the right thing, wanting our
own way, and really justwanting to do nothing at all,
(15:12):
just sitting on the sidelines.
I call it perennial pride,prevailing passiveness and
persistent pursuit.
I am a great self-deceiver.
How about you?
I can go into numb mode prettyfast.
I can go into ignoring modeeven quicker, and maintenance
mode is what typically follows.
Both of those things I tellmyself.
(15:32):
You know what the sin I've beendealing with?
It's fine, it'll go away on itsown, or no one knows about it,
so no one needs to know about it.
I've been doing this a longtime and I can handle it.
I'll deal with this monkey onmy back when I have the energy.
But the antidote, the swipe, soto speak, is asking God to
reassess our hearts, coming toGod ready to get an honest
(15:54):
evaluation of our hard drive.
If you have Psalm 119 open infront of you, or if you have a
chance to do this later today, Iwould really encourage you to
do this.
We're going to break this Psalmapart, basically piece by piece
, and we're going to behighlighting in three different
colors today.
So if you have a highlighter ora pen that's a certain color, I
want you to get that out.
If you could see my Bible rightnow, you're going to see that I
(16:18):
have a lot of phrasesunderlined or highlighted in
yellow in Psalm 119.
What I did was I went throughthis whole Psalm and I
highlighted David's ask to God,what he is asking God to do for
him.
Things like turn to me, havemercy on me, remove me from
(16:45):
scorn and contempt.
I started to realize that Davidwas coming before God, stepping
into the light.
Here.
His requests are put out thereto God with a deep expectancy
that God will answer, that Godwill, yes, recognize David's
weaknesses but at the same timecome to his rescue.
You can hear David's request toGod to turn to me.
(17:06):
Be my refuge, lord, don'tutterly forsake me, keep me from
deceitful ways.
I can just almost hear thisbegging in his tone.
He's saying Lord, enable me tobe the godly man that you have
called me to be.
I know I'm not there yet.
I know I have the sin natureinside of me.
I need you, god.
I was reading through Ephesians,chapter four, recently and I
(17:28):
ran across verse 17 through 19.
And I realized that this canpossibly be our reality.
It is more than possible.
Ephesians 4 says to walk in thefutility of our minds, darken
in our understanding of Godbecause we don't take time to
know God, we don't take time toknow his word and our hearts are
(17:49):
capable of becoming hardenedand calloused when we practice
sin.
Let me give you a personalexample.
I was a very frustrated mom fora very long time.
I still have that tendency,laying down my law for my kids
rather than pointing them toGod's perfect law that leads to
liberty.
It was a hard monster to looksquare in the eyes.
(18:13):
I knew it was there, but Ireally didn't know how to deal
with it, and sometimes I justdidn't want to deal with it.
It was easy to believe it wouldjust go away on its own as I
got older.
But just because people getolder doesn't mean they
necessarily are maturing.
Psalm 119, the chapter thatwe're really peering deeply into
today, verse 60, david saysI've considered my ways and I've
(18:36):
turned my steps to yourstatutes.
God David is saying here I wantto be above board with you,
with my needs.
God, here is where I am.
No self-deception in sight.
Maybe you're familiar with theverse from James, chapter 1,
where it says don't merelylisten to the word and so
deceive yourself.
My husband saw my anger.
(19:00):
My kids saw my anger.
God did too.
I knew what God's word said,but I wasn't living it out.
God knows your weakness in yourlife?
Do you God knows your weaknessin your life?
Do you God knows your heart?
Are you willing to peer intohis word and walk in his
statutes today?
(19:20):
Turning back over to Romans,chapter 7, paul continues this
heart struggle, this Christianheart battle that you and I have
.
He says I love God's law withall my heart, but there's
another power within me that'sat war with my mind.
This power makes me a slave tothe sin that is still within me.
(19:41):
Paul is praying here, god'sfavorite prayer.
He's saying help.
I need you.
I can't do anything without you.
I can't have a good marriagewithout you.
I can't be a good parentwithout you.
Come to me, give me everythingI need for life and godliness.
I think that's God's favoriteprayer, because he has the best
(20:01):
answer for that prayer His sonJesus Christ.
Do you know Jesus as yourSavior today?
Or maybe you just know of him?
Have you sat in church foryears and you've heard his
stories?
Maybe you've even looked at him.
Maybe you've even believed inhim, but you haven't been
willing to let him look at you.
(20:22):
Before we go on here today atVows to Keep Radio, I want to
give you the opportunity to takea moment before God, just you
and him, asking him to take alook at your heart.
God, just you and him, askinghim to take a look at your heart
, saying God, I'd like you toassess me right now.
Where am I really at?
David says in Psalm 26 to putme on trial, lord, cross-examine
me, test my motives and myheart.
(20:44):
That takes a lot of guts topray a prayer like that.
It takes letting God hit yourhome button twice and swipe away
the sins that you've beenhanging on to for too long.
Come to him today and ask himto come to you.
Maybe your prayer today is Lord,help me.
This is my ask to you.
I'm asking you to help mebelieve what you say about your
(21:06):
son.
Lord, I'm asking you to raiseme up above the sin that's
tempting me today.
Lord, show me where you'reworking in my life and show me
how I can be a tool in myspouse's life.
Lord, give me hope for mymarriage, because that's where
I'm lacking.
Lord, sustain me.
Lord, teach me.
Lord, I'm asking you tostrengthen me.
(21:27):
If you're taking notes today, Iwant you to write down three
questions to review later ontoday or tomorrow in your quiet
time with God?
Here's the first one.
What truths am I having a hardtime believing right now?
Truths from God's word.
What's difficult for me?
What can I ask God for helpwith?
Here's the second one.
What biblical application ishard for me?
(21:48):
What does God's wordspecifically tell me to do, like
use a gentle tone and build oneanother up, or to not gossip,
to not lie, to not be deceitfultoward my spouse.
What biblical application ishard for me?
And then take a minute to askGod to help you with that?
What sins is God revealing tome as I read his word?
(22:09):
That's the third one.
This is the first step to rebootyour relationship with your
spouse, your relationship withGod, your personal ask coming to
God saying Lord, I'm reachingup to you because I can't do
this without you.
I am a great self deceiver, andso are you.
We think that we know best andwe try to write our own rules
(22:31):
for our lives and our marriages.
We think that we know best andwe try to write our own rules
for our lives and our marriages.
We think that we reignsovereign and that we don't need
to ask God for help.
We forget that God has given useverything we need for life and
for godliness according to thepower that's at work within us.
Jeremiah 17 is how we're goingto end our talk here today on
(22:51):
Vows to Keep Radio, and then Ihope you can tune in for part
two of Reboot next week.
Jeremiah 17, 9 and 10.
God says the human heart is themost deceitful of all things
and it's desperately wicked.
Who really knows how bad it is?
You and I cannot see to thebottom of the depths of our
hearts, but you know what Godcan.
(23:13):
In verse 10, he says but I, theLord, I search all hearts and I
examine secret motives.
I test the heart.
I am searching your mind today.
God says Will you come before me, open and honest, about what's
really in your heart, about thethoughts you're really having
that are causing you to take theactions that you are doing in
(23:33):
your life and in your marriage?
Will you let me cross-examineyou today?
Will you come humbly before measking me to come to you and
search your heart?
If you are looking for a rebootin your marriage, start with
the ask what do you need God'shelp with today?
(23:54):
Lord, teach me, show me, helpme, don't let me be blindsided
by my own sin.
And then next week on Vows toKeep Radio.
We're going to go into the nexttwo things that David did to
reboot.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Like what you heard today on Vows to Keep Radio.
Listen to more life-changingbroadcasts at VowsToKeepcom.
Vows to Keep is supported by ateam which includes biblical
coaches, writers and pastoraladvisors.
If you have a desire to servemarriages in your community, we
would love to hear from you.
Vows to Keep is anot-for-profit marriage ministry
(24:28):
designed to bring God'sencouraging truth to the
marriages of our area.
As a not-for-profitorganization, our commitment to
Christlike marriages includesproviding much-needed services,
regardless of a couple'sfinancial ability to offset the
cost of Vows to Keep operations.
If you are unable to donateyour time or abilities, but
would like to help support Vowsto Keep financially, visit
(24:50):
VowsToKeepcom and click on thedonate link.
This program is sponsored byVows to Keep of Zanesfield, ohio
.
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