April 28, 2025 • 25 mins
In this week's episode, we reveal a powerful three-step process for rebooting your marriage when it's bogged down. Our hope is to teach you how to better help your marriage thrive.
We will cover the following points:
• The importance of honesty and honestly reassessing our hearts
• Recognizing pride and its effects
• Remembering who God is and who we are in Him
• What creates and makes a divided heart
• What walking in freedom looks like and requires
If your marriage needs a reboot, we hope you will join us and find hope and encouragement today!
For episode transcripts, click HERE.
For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FB
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy
Sellers.
The mission of Vows to Keep isto help couples develop a
biblically healthy marriagethrough the application of God's
Word and a deeper relationshipwith Him.
They desire to help you andyour spouse grow closer to each
other and closer to the heart ofGod's design for your marriage.
Now here's David and Tracy withtoday's broadcast.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hey, so glad you're with us today.
On Vows to Keep Radio we areDavid and Tracy Sellers.
We have made Vows to Keep.
We are in part two of atwo-part broadcast called Reboot
.
Is that what you need right nowin your marriage A refresh, a
restart, a reboot.
God has given each of us ourown personal hard drive.
(00:56):
It's our heart and the deepestpart of who we are and who he's
made us to be.
Our system, so to speak, can getoverloaded with sin that's
undealt with, sin that maybe weeither can't identify because we
haven't taken the time orenergy to, we haven't really
gotten real before God, or sinthat we know is there but we're
letting it take us down anyway.
(01:17):
We're making excuses.
We say you know what?
I've been dealing with this sina long time.
I kind of like this sin.
I don't really want it to goaway.
I'm not ready to hit therestart button.
Last week on Vows to Keep Radio,we looked at King David.
We looked at Psalm 119.
He's the author of that Psalmand how he came before God and
he had some very real sin thathe was dealing with in his life.
(01:39):
But he also knew he served avery real God that he was
willing to get real with.
I asked you last week to getout your highlighters and I'm
going to ask you to do the samething this week.
Last week we took one color ofhighlighter and we highlighted
what David is asking of God inPsalm 119.
Now, I know it's not reasonablefor you to do that all right
(02:00):
now, but throughout the rest ofthe week I would like you to
take time to go ahead and gothrough the 176 verses of Psalm
119 and to highlight everythingthat you see David is asking of
God.
He says things like turn to me,god, have mercy on me, accept
my praise, lord, teach me, helpme, make me wise.
Lord, would you sustain me,lord, would you uphold me?
(02:22):
These are real requests thatDavid is making of God and he's
saying I'm going to step intoyour light here, god.
I don't want to be aself-deceiver.
I don't want to live inself-deception anymore in my sin
.
I'm putting my requests outthere to you, god, with a deep
expectancy that, lord, you'regoing to answer me, that you're
going to help me be a doer ofthe word and not a hearer.
(02:43):
Only, lord, that you're goingto help me be the man that you
have created me to be, david waswilling to get real with God,
to reboot his heart and his life.
Are you and I ready to do that?
Today, on Vows to Keep Radio,we're going to go through a
really simple three-step processthat you can do anytime you
(03:04):
feel like your own personalspiritual life needs to be
rebooted or when your marriageneeds a reboot.
Number one we covered last weekand that is the reassessment of
our hearts.
Lord, would you examine wherewe're at?
Would you assess our hearts?
Lord, we are willing to be openand authentic before you.
Number two that we're going tojump into in just a minute here
(03:25):
is Lord, we are going toremember who you are and who we
are in you, and that's going toreboot our hearts.
And lastly, today on Vows toKeep Radio, we're going to talk
about remaining in God's word,staying attached to the vine
reassess, remember and remain.
So if you have your Bible withyou, you have some things that
(03:47):
are underlying that David isasking of God.
Now we're going to do some moreunderlining in just a minute
here about the next thing thatDavid is praying in his prayer
in Psalm 119.
He is remembering and reviewingGod's word and character.
He knows that when we remember,we are taking that next step to
rebooting Over.
In Romans, chapter 7, verse 24and 25, paul says oh, what a
(04:11):
miserable person I am.
Have you ever felt that waywhen you've sinned the same sin
a hundred times, the one you'vebeen trying to deal with for
years?
He says who will free me fromthis life that is dominated by
sin and death?
And here's the answer, thankGod, the answer is in Jesus
Christ, our Lord.
See, you and I can't have anhonest evaluation of our sin
(04:33):
unless we have an honestevaluation of the cross.
A re-evaluation of our heartsleads us to remember, leads us
to gaze at the cross and thinkabout who God is, what he did
for us and now our new life inhim.
And remembering changes ourdesire.
We no longer want to live inself-deception.
My desire changed on how toparent my kids when I remembered
(04:57):
how my father, god, hasparented me.
My desire on how to speak toDavid changes when I remember
that when I mess up, jesusChrist treats me with grace and
mercy and patience.
We realign ourselves with thetruth when we remember, and this
remembering makes us desire tostrive and to seek after God and
(05:21):
godliness.
So if you have another colorhighlighter or pen.
Now you're going to behighlighted in Psalm 119, maybe
just a couple sections of thoseeight verses things that David
is pursuing, things that he isdesiring.
He says I have chosen the wayof faithfulness.
I will not neglect your word,lord.
I will obey your decrees.
(05:42):
I have hidden your word in myheart that I might not sin
against you.
I give you, lord, an account ofmy ways.
Lord, I don't turn away fromyou.
Lord, I remember you.
I give you, lord, an account ofmy ways.
Lord, I don't turn away fromyou, lord, I remember you.
Lord, I promise to obey you.
It is such an amazing exerciseto go through this entire psalm
and to highlight everything thatDavid is striving after.
Look for I statements.
(06:05):
I find delight.
I trust I long.
I have put my hope in.
Last week we looked at Romans,chapter 7, where Paul says I
know that nothing good lives inme, in my sinful nature, because
I want to do what's right but Ican't.
And I want to do what's goodbut I don't.
I don't want to do what iswrong, but I do it anyway.
(06:25):
This is our ongoing battle withsin.
What our renewed nature desires, our fleshly nature opposes.
That is the Christian heartbattle that we all deal with
every day, vacillating betweenwanting to do the right thing
and wanting our own way.
Here we see again clearly thatChristian heart battle, because
I don't think David's being ahypocrite here.
(06:46):
We know that David does notalways hold true to what he's
saying.
He says I don't depart fromyour word.
I have not strayed from yourword.
I shall always have regard foryour word, lord.
These are not things that he'sarrived in.
Rather, these are his heart'sdesire.
These aren't statements of pride.
In fact, I think they're justthe opposite, because pride is
what happens when we don'tremember, in pride, we reign
(07:09):
sovereign over our lives,thinking that we're in control,
or at least we think we reignsovereign over our lives, we
become glory grabbers.
When we don't remember that Godalone deserves the glory, we,
in pride, write our own rules.
We say, hey, we're in chargehere and my way goes.
In our pride, we become idolworshipers.
(07:31):
We start to put food as our toppriority in our day.
We start to think that Godmaybe didn't quite create
marriage the way that I think heshould have, and my husband's
not a very good leader, so Ithink I should probably be the
leader.
That's what our pride tells usto do.
Our pride causes us to be truthsuppressors rather than truth
seekers, because in our pride,we stop remembering.
(07:54):
Humility is what happens whenwe do remember.
King David had idols that heworshiped as well, things that
he put above God, but he alsoknew the process to correctly
position himself under God'sheadship.
King David remembered hishumanness.
He remembered his God, whichcaused him to remember his
(08:15):
purpose.
Just like you and I, king Davidhad a job to do.
He had a purpose on earth.
He's on the front lines of thebattlefield of his own life and
God's purposes for his life.
Yet he vacillates, just like youand I.
Vacillate between wanting to dothe right thing and not being
able to do it, vacillatingbetween sitting on the sidelines
(08:36):
and charging full speed aheadon the path that God has set for
us.
You, my friend, are a soldierin God's great army, but a
forgetful soldier, or one thathas no purpose or goal, is not
going to be on the front lines.
He's going to hide out in thefoxhole when we don't remember
who God is or who we are in him.
We're going to be the personsitting on the sidelines,
(08:59):
vacillating between wanting todo the right thing but choosing
our own way.
Instead, our forgetfulness bogsdown the hard drive of our
hearts.
Are you ready to get up off thebench of your own life?
Are you ready to get out on thefront lines of your own
marriage, knowing what it isthat God is asking you to know
and believe and then having apersistent pursuit of your
(09:22):
creator?
Seeking, pursuing, striving isthe next step in reaching up to
God to reboot.
But we have to know that whatwe're pursuing, what we're
desiring, is actually good andtrue and right, and not just
something we've come up with onour own or something the world
has told us is good to seek andpursue and to strive for.
(09:45):
That's why the third step toreboot is to remain.
John, chapter 15,.
This is the passage in God'sword where Jesus says I am the
vine, you are the branches.
If you remain in me and I inyou, you are going to bear much
fruit.
And apart from me, let me tellyou, you can do nothing.
(10:07):
The last several years at myhouse in the backyard, we've had
a raised bed garden and Imostly grow things like tomatoes
and peppers and carrots.
The tomato plants get prettyheavy as they get tall.
So we have a little supportsystem for them that we
systematically tie the tomatoplant to so that one branch just
(10:29):
doesn't go hanging off all onits own.
Because you know what happenswhen a tomato plant has a branch
that is about halfway hangingon and halfway hanging off, it
really can't be saved from there.
It's still attached but youknow, over a couple of days time
it's not going to get thenutrients that it needs, it's
going to go brown and it's goingto have to be cut off.
That's how it is with us inJesus Christ.
(10:51):
He says remain in me.
That's how you're going to bearmuch fruit in your life.
That's how you're going to beable to make good decisions.
That's how you're going todesire the right thing.
There's no halfway here.
We can't be half connected toGod and half on our own.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
If you have a marriage question, please email
questions at vowstokeepcom.
Vows to Keep will respond toyou via email and perhaps use it
on the air.
Now let's rejoin Vows to KeepRadio with David and Tracy
Sellers.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
So often we have one foot in our ways, one foot in
God's ways.
I know what God's word saysabout my marriage, but I think I
know best.
Let me tell you from experienceif you try that method, there
will be no good fruit in yourmarriage relationship.
I can wake up in the morningdetermined to let my words be
(11:46):
gracious and full of the fruitof the spirit towards my spouse,
and it's not nine o'clock inthe morning before my foot is
well inserted into my mouth.
We can be laughing together ashusband and wife one minute, and
I can be chewing him out thenext minute over something
that's so silly that doesn'teven matter in the grand scheme
of things.
My vacillating heart that wasall in with God's word just a
(12:08):
minute ago is now hey, my way,or the highway, our straddle,
the fence technique can be sotiring, can't it?
In fact, sometimes I'm gratefulthat those monkeys that are on
my back, the sin that doesn'tget dealt with, actually gets
heavy enough that I finally cryout for help.
(12:28):
Is that where you are at rightnow in your marriage?
Are things so heavy that you'reready to try something other
than your own vacillating heartto show you the way?
A couple of years ago I ranacross this verse from Psalm 86,
also written by David, verse 11.
It's meant so much to mebecause it describes my heart to
(12:52):
a T.
David says in Psalm 86, 11,teach me your way, lord, that I
may rely on your faithfulness.
And here's the part that getsme Give me an undivided heart
that I may fear your name.
Another version says Lord,unite my heart to fear your name
.
When I was a young adult I had ablack Ford Ranger and that
(13:14):
thing was my baby.
I paid for it.
I was the one that bought theinsurance and the gas.
I gave rides to all my friends.
That thing went with me foryears and I took pretty good
care of it.
I was always washing it andmaking sure that the body was in
really good shape.
One day I was working out at acampground and I worked in South
(13:35):
Dakota, and South Dakota isjust famous for hailstorms.
In fact, my dad makes hisliving repairing hail damage on
houses.
So my friends and I wereworking and we see this
hailstorm coming.
We know it's going to hit us inabout 10 minutes.
So someone runs in and says,hey, if you want to save your
car, go ahead and pull it intothe barn over here, and you can
(13:57):
better believe that I ran andgot my keys and my little black
Ford Ranger was in that barn injust a minute.
I was so pleased because thehail that day was about a
quarter size or more.
I know that my truck would havegotten damaged About an hour
later.
Everything looked clear.
So it was time to take our carsout of the barn, and as I was
pulling the truck out, my backbumper caught the side of the
(14:21):
barn door and it ripped cleanoff.
Sometimes you and I can have thebest of intentions when it
comes to our sin, but ourdivided heart one foot in God's
ways, one foot in our ways endsup taking us down in the end
anyway.
Isn't it exhausting to oneminute believe that God isn't
(14:42):
trustworthy in His ways for mymarriage and the next minute to
think that he is?
Doesn't it bog you down tobelieve that God isn't in
control in my marriage, so Ibetter be in control?
Doesn't it take you down overtime to make decisions that say
you know what I know better thanGod or I have to earn my
(15:03):
salvation or I really haven'tbeen forgiven that much, so I've
got to carry the weight ofthese sins.
Isn't it exhausting to believethe lies of the devil that say
you know what?
God really doesn't love mebecause my marriage isn't going
so well right now.
God doesn't care about mepersonally?
I know that because look what'shappening with my husband.
God doesn't care about mepersonally.
(15:24):
I know that because look what'shappening with my husband.
The lies from the enemy can bogus down quicker than anything
else.
Lies that say God is far awayfrom you.
If he was really a caring,loving God, then your husband
wouldn't treat you that way sooften.
I do straddle the fence of truthin my life.
I've got one foot in the weedsof my lies on one side and I've
(15:45):
got one foot in the garden ofGod's truth on the other side.
And that's when I start towither like that tomato plant.
That's when I start to getbogged down, not even maybe even
recognize why I'm feeling likeI do not even recognizing that
I'm on that fence.
I think that David recognizedhis weaknesses.
He wasn't perfect, but he sawhis need to continually check.
(16:08):
Am I basing what I'm doing, amI basing what I'm believing in
God's truth or am I writing myown rules?
The reason why I think Davidrecognized his own weaknesses is
because if you look at Psalm119 that we're going through and
we're highlighting here allthese different passages, you
see that God's word is actuallymentioned in nearly every verse.
(16:31):
There's 176 verses in here andnearly every one David is saying
Lord, I can't reboot unlessI've got your word as my guide.
Lord, even if I reach up to youtoday, I want to fail tomorrow
and your word is what's going toget me back on track.
He's saying Lord, I need yourword to reassess where I am,
because if I don't, I'm going togive myself license to follow
(16:54):
my own ways.
Lord, I need your word as areminder of who you are and who
I am in you because I'm soforgetful are and who I am in
you because I'm so forgetful.
Lord, I need to remain in yourword, to filter out the voices,
so all I hear is your voice.
So if you've been highlightingalong with us last week and this
week on Vows to Keep Radio, orif you plan on doing that in
(17:18):
your quiet time, in your ownpersonal devotion time coming up
this week, then grab your nextcolor of highlighter and you are
going to be underlining orhighlighting phrases where, you
see, god's word is mentioned.
Just a little hint for you hereDavid uses nine different words
for describing God's word.
He says things like preceptsand laws and commands and
(17:41):
testimonies and ordinances andways and statutes.
I'm going to underline thingsin my Bible like blessed are
those who are blameless, whowalk according to your word, who
keep your statutes.
I might underline somethinglike Lord, help me live
according to your word.
Do not let me stray from yourcommands.
(18:02):
I rejoice in your statutes.
Wonderful things are in yourlaw, according to your word.
Lord, cause me to understandthe way of your precepts.
Teach me your law.
I've set my heart on your law.
Are you getting what you'regoing to be underlining here?
As you're thinking about thethings that you're underlining
here in Psalm 119, the first oneis David's ask to God Lord,
(18:25):
this is what I need your helpwith.
Secondly, lord, this is whatI'm striving toward.
I'm not there yet, but this iswhere I want to be.
And then here we are in ourlast one God's word.
As you think about those thingsand as you work on highlighting
Psalm 119 in those threedifferent colors, I want you to
think about what are one or twoways for you to remain in God's
(18:45):
word on a daily basis, what's away that you can apply it, how
you can bear fruit in your ownlife, what's the best way for
you to incorporate God's wordinto your day?
I encourage you to share thatwith your spouse and even to ask
them how they're doingremaining in God's word and even
to ask them how they're doingremaining in God's word.
(19:08):
We try so many ways to rebootour lives to function better.
Maybe we try a job change, somechange with our body, we try a
vacation, we try isolation.
Most of us try mind-numbingactivities that provide only
temporary relief.
You know what I'm talking aboutSomething on your phone,
something on the computer, ahobby that takes your mind off
of what's really going on In ourmarriages.
(19:35):
We try to reboot, sometimes bydivorce, separation, maybe just
living parallel lives so wedon't have to deal with the
stuff that's taking us down,Trying to take back control in
our marriage of what feels outof control.
These are all temporarysolutions to a God-sized issue.
If the sin that's in our dailylife isn't dealt with on a daily
basis, if we don't let Godreassess, if we don't remember,
(19:55):
if we don't remain in God's word, then you know what we remain
slaves to that sin.
I don't want to remain in mysin.
I want to remain in the Lord.
God's word is the only way towalk about in freedom.
That's what Psalm 119, verse 45, says.
In the New Living Translationit says this I will walk in
freedom, for I have devotedmyself to your commandments.
(20:18):
If you feel like your marriageneeds a reboot, you feel like
you are a slave to the sin oryour spouse is a slave to sin,
you can walk about in freedom inyour marriage as you seek after
God and his ways.
I'm at the point in my heart andI'm at the point in my marriage
that I don't want to straddlethe fence anymore.
It's exhausting and I need areboot.
(20:41):
I'm at the point in my marriageI don't just want to read God's
word or hear it preached.
I want more.
I want what David says in Psalm119, verse 11, to hide God's
word in my heart that I mightnot sin against God.
And verse 13 of Psalm 119, withmy lips I recount all the laws
that come from your mouth.
David is saying here the meaningof God's word is affecting my
(21:05):
heart.
I don't just want to say it.
I don't just want to hear itpreached in church.
I don't want to be a Pharisee.
There's action behind it.
I want to be a doer of the wordand not a hearer.
Only, lord, we desire tomeasure ourselves against your
word.
But let me tell you, this isreal life.
This isn't a cakewalk.
We're in a heart battle here,the flesh against the spirit.
We're on the front lines of ourown lives.
(21:27):
Paul talks about that battle inRomans, chapter 7, verse 22 and
23.
I love God's law with all myheart, he says, but there's
another power within me that'sat war with my mind.
This power makes me a slave tothe sin that is still within me.
And then we can pray God'sfavorite prayer Lord, help, I
need you.
(21:47):
I can't do anything without you.
Come to me, give me everythingI need for life and for
godliness.
We can either be fully preparedon those front lines or fully
exposed to the enemy's attacks.
Which are you?
Are you ready to take some timewith God, to stand before him,
slate wiped, fully clean,nothing to hide, no fear, no
(22:09):
hesitation?
Fully aware of your struggle,but also fully aware of your
imminent victory in Christ Jesus, you're willing to reach up to
God, to be rebooted, to bestrong, devoted and ready, ready
to reassess, ready to remember,ready to remain in God's word.
We're going to close today onVows to Keep Radio, looking at
(22:30):
the last verse of Psalm 119.
It's verse 176.
David says I have wandered awaylike a lost sheep.
He is saying Lord, I amassessing my heart right now and
this is the reality of where Iam, and I'm willing for you to
take a look at me, examine me,see that I have wandered away
(22:51):
from you.
And then, lord, here's what Ineed from you.
The next part of the verse saysLord, come and find me, seek
your servant.
Don't let me wander from yourpaths, lord servant, don't let
me wander from your paths, lord.
And then here's David'srecommitment to remain in God's
word.
He says I have not forgottenyour commands.
I know that they are what isgoing to give me life.
(23:13):
If I remain in you, lord, Iremain in your word, I will bear
fruit in my marriage.
Are you willing to say to Godcome and find me, seek me out,
lord, search my heart and see ifthere is any wicked way in me.
Take a look at my marriage,lord.
I want it to be fully exposedbefore you.
(23:33):
I don't want to be inself-deception.
I want to reach up to you today, god.
I want you to reassess ourrelationship, lord, I want to
remember who you are and who Iam in you.
Unite my heart to fear yourname.
God.
Teach me your way, lord,according to Psalm 86, 11, so
(23:53):
that I can rely on yourfaithfulness for my marriage.
Lord, here's my prayer todayGive me an undivided heart so
that I can be rebooted in you.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Like what you heard today on Vows to Keep Radio.
Listen to more life-changingbroadcasts at VowsToKeepcom.
Vows to Keep is supported by ateam which includes biblical
coaches, writers and pastoraladvisors.
If you have a desire to servemarriages in your community, we
would love to hear from you.
Vows to Keep is anot-for-profit marriage ministry
(24:28):
designed to bring God'sencouraging truth to the
marriages of our area.
As a not-for-profitorganization, our commitment to
Christlike marriages includesproviding much-needed services,
regardless of a couple'sfinancial ability to offset the
cost of Vows to Keep operations.
If you are unable to donateyour time or abilities, but
would like to help support Vowsto Keep financially, visit
(24:50):
VowsToKeepcom and click on theDonate link.
This program is sponsored byVows to Keep of Zanesfield, ohio
.
Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy
Sellers.
The mission of Vows to Keep isto help couples develop a
biblically healthy marriagethrough the application of God's
Word and a deeper relationshipwith Him.
They desire to help you andyour spouse grow closer to each
other and closer to the heart ofGod's design for your marriage.
Now here's David and Tracy withtoday's broadcast.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hey, so glad you're with us today.
On Vows to Keep Radio we areDavid and Tracy Sellers.
We have made Vows to Keep.
We are in part two of atwo-part broadcast called Reboot
.
Is that what you need right nowin your marriage A refresh, a
restart, a reboot.
God has given each of us ourown personal hard drive.
(00:56):
It's our heart and the deepestpart of who we are and who he's
made us to be.
Our system, so to speak, can getoverloaded with sin that's
undealt with, sin that maybe weeither can't identify because we
haven't taken the time orenergy to, we haven't really
gotten real before God, or sinthat we know is there but we're
letting it take us down anyway.
(01:17):
We're making excuses.
We say you know what?
I've been dealing with this sina long time.
I kind of like this sin.
I don't really want it to goaway.
I'm not ready to hit therestart button.
Last week on Vows to Keep Radio,we looked at King David.
We looked at Psalm 119.
He's the author of that Psalmand how he came before God and
he had some very real sin thathe was dealing with in his life.
(01:39):
But he also knew he served avery real God that he was
willing to get real with.
I asked you last week to getout your highlighters and I'm
going to ask you to do the samething this week.
Last week we took one color ofhighlighter and we highlighted
what David is asking of God inPsalm 119.
Now, I know it's not reasonablefor you to do that all right
(02:00):
now, but throughout the rest ofthe week I would like you to
take time to go ahead and gothrough the 176 verses of Psalm
119 and to highlight everythingthat you see David is asking of
God.
He says things like turn to me,god, have mercy on me, accept
my praise, lord, teach me, helpme, make me wise.
Lord, would you sustain me,lord, would you uphold me?
(02:22):
These are real requests thatDavid is making of God and he's
saying I'm going to step intoyour light here, god.
I don't want to be aself-deceiver.
I don't want to live inself-deception anymore in my sin
.
I'm putting my requests outthere to you, god, with a deep
expectancy that, lord, you'regoing to answer me, that you're
going to help me be a doer ofthe word and not a hearer.
(02:43):
Only, lord, that you're goingto help me be the man that you
have created me to be, david waswilling to get real with God,
to reboot his heart and his life.
Are you and I ready to do that?
Today, on Vows to Keep Radio,we're going to go through a
really simple three-step processthat you can do anytime you
(03:04):
feel like your own personalspiritual life needs to be
rebooted or when your marriageneeds a reboot.
Number one we covered last weekand that is the reassessment of
our hearts.
Lord, would you examine wherewe're at?
Would you assess our hearts?
Lord, we are willing to be openand authentic before you.
Number two that we're going tojump into in just a minute here
(03:25):
is Lord, we are going toremember who you are and who we
are in you, and that's going toreboot our hearts.
And lastly, today on Vows toKeep Radio, we're going to talk
about remaining in God's word,staying attached to the vine
reassess, remember and remain.
So if you have your Bible withyou, you have some things that
(03:47):
are underlying that David isasking of God.
Now we're going to do some moreunderlining in just a minute
here about the next thing thatDavid is praying in his prayer
in Psalm 119.
He is remembering and reviewingGod's word and character.
He knows that when we remember,we are taking that next step to
rebooting Over.
In Romans, chapter 7, verse 24and 25, paul says oh, what a
(04:11):
miserable person I am.
Have you ever felt that waywhen you've sinned the same sin
a hundred times, the one you'vebeen trying to deal with for
years?
He says who will free me fromthis life that is dominated by
sin and death?
And here's the answer, thankGod, the answer is in Jesus
Christ, our Lord.
See, you and I can't have anhonest evaluation of our sin
(04:33):
unless we have an honestevaluation of the cross.
A re-evaluation of our heartsleads us to remember, leads us
to gaze at the cross and thinkabout who God is, what he did
for us and now our new life inhim.
And remembering changes ourdesire.
We no longer want to live inself-deception.
My desire changed on how toparent my kids when I remembered
(04:57):
how my father, god, hasparented me.
My desire on how to speak toDavid changes when I remember
that when I mess up, jesusChrist treats me with grace and
mercy and patience.
We realign ourselves with thetruth when we remember, and this
remembering makes us desire tostrive and to seek after God and
(05:21):
godliness.
So if you have another colorhighlighter or pen.
Now you're going to behighlighted in Psalm 119, maybe
just a couple sections of thoseeight verses things that David
is pursuing, things that he isdesiring.
He says I have chosen the wayof faithfulness.
I will not neglect your word,lord.
I will obey your decrees.
(05:42):
I have hidden your word in myheart that I might not sin
against you.
I give you, lord, an account ofmy ways.
Lord, I don't turn away fromyou.
Lord, I remember you.
I give you, lord, an account ofmy ways.
Lord, I don't turn away fromyou, lord, I remember you.
Lord, I promise to obey you.
It is such an amazing exerciseto go through this entire psalm
and to highlight everything thatDavid is striving after.
Look for I statements.
(06:05):
I find delight.
I trust I long.
I have put my hope in.
Last week we looked at Romans,chapter 7, where Paul says I
know that nothing good lives inme, in my sinful nature, because
I want to do what's right but Ican't.
And I want to do what's goodbut I don't.
I don't want to do what iswrong, but I do it anyway.
(06:25):
This is our ongoing battle withsin.
What our renewed nature desires, our fleshly nature opposes.
That is the Christian heartbattle that we all deal with
every day, vacillating betweenwanting to do the right thing
and wanting our own way.
Here we see again clearly thatChristian heart battle, because
I don't think David's being ahypocrite here.
(06:46):
We know that David does notalways hold true to what he's
saying.
He says I don't depart fromyour word.
I have not strayed from yourword.
I shall always have regard foryour word, lord.
These are not things that he'sarrived in.
Rather, these are his heart'sdesire.
These aren't statements of pride.
In fact, I think they're justthe opposite, because pride is
what happens when we don'tremember, in pride, we reign
(07:09):
sovereign over our lives,thinking that we're in control,
or at least we think we reignsovereign over our lives, we
become glory grabbers.
When we don't remember that Godalone deserves the glory, we,
in pride, write our own rules.
We say, hey, we're in chargehere and my way goes.
In our pride, we become idolworshipers.
(07:31):
We start to put food as our toppriority in our day.
We start to think that Godmaybe didn't quite create
marriage the way that I think heshould have, and my husband's
not a very good leader, so Ithink I should probably be the
leader.
That's what our pride tells usto do.
Our pride causes us to be truthsuppressors rather than truth
seekers, because in our pride,we stop remembering.
(07:54):
Humility is what happens whenwe do remember.
King David had idols that heworshiped as well, things that
he put above God, but he alsoknew the process to correctly
position himself under God'sheadship.
King David remembered hishumanness.
He remembered his God, whichcaused him to remember his
(08:15):
purpose.
Just like you and I, king Davidhad a job to do.
He had a purpose on earth.
He's on the front lines of thebattlefield of his own life and
God's purposes for his life.
Yet he vacillates, just like youand I.
Vacillate between wanting to dothe right thing and not being
able to do it, vacillatingbetween sitting on the sidelines
(08:36):
and charging full speed aheadon the path that God has set for
us.
You, my friend, are a soldierin God's great army, but a
forgetful soldier, or one thathas no purpose or goal, is not
going to be on the front lines.
He's going to hide out in thefoxhole when we don't remember
who God is or who we are in him.
We're going to be the personsitting on the sidelines,
(08:59):
vacillating between wanting todo the right thing but choosing
our own way.
Instead, our forgetfulness bogsdown the hard drive of our
hearts.
Are you ready to get up off thebench of your own life?
Are you ready to get out on thefront lines of your own
marriage, knowing what it isthat God is asking you to know
and believe and then having apersistent pursuit of your
(09:22):
creator?
Seeking, pursuing, striving isthe next step in reaching up to
God to reboot.
But we have to know that whatwe're pursuing, what we're
desiring, is actually good andtrue and right, and not just
something we've come up with onour own or something the world
has told us is good to seek andpursue and to strive for.
(09:45):
That's why the third step toreboot is to remain.
John, chapter 15,.
This is the passage in God'sword where Jesus says I am the
vine, you are the branches.
If you remain in me and I inyou, you are going to bear much
fruit.
And apart from me, let me tellyou, you can do nothing.
(10:07):
The last several years at myhouse in the backyard, we've had
a raised bed garden and Imostly grow things like tomatoes
and peppers and carrots.
The tomato plants get prettyheavy as they get tall.
So we have a little supportsystem for them that we
systematically tie the tomatoplant to so that one branch just
(10:29):
doesn't go hanging off all onits own.
Because you know what happenswhen a tomato plant has a branch
that is about halfway hangingon and halfway hanging off, it
really can't be saved from there.
It's still attached but youknow, over a couple of days time
it's not going to get thenutrients that it needs, it's
going to go brown and it's goingto have to be cut off.
That's how it is with us inJesus Christ.
(10:51):
He says remain in me.
That's how you're going to bearmuch fruit in your life.
That's how you're going to beable to make good decisions.
That's how you're going todesire the right thing.
There's no halfway here.
We can't be half connected toGod and half on our own.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
If you have a marriage question, please email
questions at vowstokeepcom.
Vows to Keep will respond toyou via email and perhaps use it
on the air.
Now let's rejoin Vows to KeepRadio with David and Tracy
Sellers.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
So often we have one foot in our ways, one foot in
God's ways.
I know what God's word saysabout my marriage, but I think I
know best.
Let me tell you from experienceif you try that method, there
will be no good fruit in yourmarriage relationship.
I can wake up in the morningdetermined to let my words be
(11:46):
gracious and full of the fruitof the spirit towards my spouse,
and it's not nine o'clock inthe morning before my foot is
well inserted into my mouth.
We can be laughing together ashusband and wife one minute, and
I can be chewing him out thenext minute over something
that's so silly that doesn'teven matter in the grand scheme
of things.
My vacillating heart that wasall in with God's word just a
(12:08):
minute ago is now hey, my way,or the highway, our straddle,
the fence technique can be sotiring, can't it?
In fact, sometimes I'm gratefulthat those monkeys that are on
my back, the sin that doesn'tget dealt with, actually gets
heavy enough that I finally cryout for help.
(12:28):
Is that where you are at rightnow in your marriage?
Are things so heavy that you'reready to try something other
than your own vacillating heartto show you the way?
A couple of years ago I ranacross this verse from Psalm 86,
also written by David, verse 11.
It's meant so much to mebecause it describes my heart to
(12:52):
a T.
David says in Psalm 86, 11,teach me your way, lord, that I
may rely on your faithfulness.
And here's the part that getsme Give me an undivided heart
that I may fear your name.
Another version says Lord,unite my heart to fear your name
.
When I was a young adult I had ablack Ford Ranger and that
(13:14):
thing was my baby.
I paid for it.
I was the one that bought theinsurance and the gas.
I gave rides to all my friends.
That thing went with me foryears and I took pretty good
care of it.
I was always washing it andmaking sure that the body was in
really good shape.
One day I was working out at acampground and I worked in South
(13:35):
Dakota, and South Dakota isjust famous for hailstorms.
In fact, my dad makes hisliving repairing hail damage on
houses.
So my friends and I wereworking and we see this
hailstorm coming.
We know it's going to hit us inabout 10 minutes.
So someone runs in and says,hey, if you want to save your
car, go ahead and pull it intothe barn over here, and you can
(13:57):
better believe that I ran andgot my keys and my little black
Ford Ranger was in that barn injust a minute.
I was so pleased because thehail that day was about a
quarter size or more.
I know that my truck would havegotten damaged About an hour
later.
Everything looked clear.
So it was time to take our carsout of the barn, and as I was
pulling the truck out, my backbumper caught the side of the
(14:21):
barn door and it ripped cleanoff.
Sometimes you and I can have thebest of intentions when it
comes to our sin, but ourdivided heart one foot in God's
ways, one foot in our ways endsup taking us down in the end
anyway.
Isn't it exhausting to oneminute believe that God isn't
(14:42):
trustworthy in His ways for mymarriage and the next minute to
think that he is?
Doesn't it bog you down tobelieve that God isn't in
control in my marriage, so Ibetter be in control?
Doesn't it take you down overtime to make decisions that say
you know what I know better thanGod or I have to earn my
(15:03):
salvation or I really haven'tbeen forgiven that much, so I've
got to carry the weight ofthese sins.
Isn't it exhausting to believethe lies of the devil that say
you know what?
God really doesn't love mebecause my marriage isn't going
so well right now.
God doesn't care about mepersonally?
I know that because look what'shappening with my husband.
God doesn't care about mepersonally.
(15:24):
I know that because look what'shappening with my husband.
The lies from the enemy can bogus down quicker than anything
else.
Lies that say God is far awayfrom you.
If he was really a caring,loving God, then your husband
wouldn't treat you that way sooften.
I do straddle the fence of truthin my life.
I've got one foot in the weedsof my lies on one side and I've
(15:45):
got one foot in the garden ofGod's truth on the other side.
And that's when I start towither like that tomato plant.
That's when I start to getbogged down, not even maybe even
recognize why I'm feeling likeI do not even recognizing that
I'm on that fence.
I think that David recognizedhis weaknesses.
He wasn't perfect, but he sawhis need to continually check.
(16:08):
Am I basing what I'm doing, amI basing what I'm believing in
God's truth or am I writing myown rules?
The reason why I think Davidrecognized his own weaknesses is
because if you look at Psalm119 that we're going through and
we're highlighting here allthese different passages, you
see that God's word is actuallymentioned in nearly every verse.
(16:31):
There's 176 verses in here andnearly every one David is saying
Lord, I can't reboot unlessI've got your word as my guide.
Lord, even if I reach up to youtoday, I want to fail tomorrow
and your word is what's going toget me back on track.
He's saying Lord, I need yourword to reassess where I am,
because if I don't, I'm going togive myself license to follow
(16:54):
my own ways.
Lord, I need your word as areminder of who you are and who
I am in you because I'm soforgetful are and who I am in
you because I'm so forgetful.
Lord, I need to remain in yourword, to filter out the voices,
so all I hear is your voice.
So if you've been highlightingalong with us last week and this
week on Vows to Keep Radio, orif you plan on doing that in
(17:18):
your quiet time, in your ownpersonal devotion time coming up
this week, then grab your nextcolor of highlighter and you are
going to be underlining orhighlighting phrases where, you
see, god's word is mentioned.
Just a little hint for you hereDavid uses nine different words
for describing God's word.
He says things like preceptsand laws and commands and
(17:41):
testimonies and ordinances andways and statutes.
I'm going to underline thingsin my Bible like blessed are
those who are blameless, whowalk according to your word, who
keep your statutes.
I might underline somethinglike Lord, help me live
according to your word.
Do not let me stray from yourcommands.
(18:02):
I rejoice in your statutes.
Wonderful things are in yourlaw, according to your word.
Lord, cause me to understandthe way of your precepts.
Teach me your law.
I've set my heart on your law.
Are you getting what you'regoing to be underlining here?
As you're thinking about thethings that you're underlining
here in Psalm 119, the first oneis David's ask to God Lord,
(18:25):
this is what I need your helpwith.
Secondly, lord, this is whatI'm striving toward.
I'm not there yet, but this iswhere I want to be.
And then here we are in ourlast one God's word.
As you think about those thingsand as you work on highlighting
Psalm 119 in those threedifferent colors, I want you to
think about what are one or twoways for you to remain in God's
(18:45):
word on a daily basis, what's away that you can apply it, how
you can bear fruit in your ownlife, what's the best way for
you to incorporate God's wordinto your day?
I encourage you to share thatwith your spouse and even to ask
them how they're doingremaining in God's word and even
to ask them how they're doingremaining in God's word.
(19:08):
We try so many ways to rebootour lives to function better.
Maybe we try a job change, somechange with our body, we try a
vacation, we try isolation.
Most of us try mind-numbingactivities that provide only
temporary relief.
You know what I'm talking aboutSomething on your phone,
something on the computer, ahobby that takes your mind off
of what's really going on In ourmarriages.
(19:35):
We try to reboot, sometimes bydivorce, separation, maybe just
living parallel lives so wedon't have to deal with the
stuff that's taking us down,Trying to take back control in
our marriage of what feels outof control.
These are all temporarysolutions to a God-sized issue.
If the sin that's in our dailylife isn't dealt with on a daily
basis, if we don't let Godreassess, if we don't remember,
(19:55):
if we don't remain in God's word, then you know what we remain
slaves to that sin.
I don't want to remain in mysin.
I want to remain in the Lord.
God's word is the only way towalk about in freedom.
That's what Psalm 119, verse 45, says.
In the New Living Translationit says this I will walk in
freedom, for I have devotedmyself to your commandments.
(20:18):
If you feel like your marriageneeds a reboot, you feel like
you are a slave to the sin oryour spouse is a slave to sin,
you can walk about in freedom inyour marriage as you seek after
God and his ways.
I'm at the point in my heart andI'm at the point in my marriage
that I don't want to straddlethe fence anymore.
It's exhausting and I need areboot.
(20:41):
I'm at the point in my marriageI don't just want to read God's
word or hear it preached.
I want more.
I want what David says in Psalm119, verse 11, to hide God's
word in my heart that I mightnot sin against God.
And verse 13 of Psalm 119, withmy lips I recount all the laws
that come from your mouth.
David is saying here the meaningof God's word is affecting my
(21:05):
heart.
I don't just want to say it.
I don't just want to hear itpreached in church.
I don't want to be a Pharisee.
There's action behind it.
I want to be a doer of the wordand not a hearer.
Only, lord, we desire tomeasure ourselves against your
word.
But let me tell you, this isreal life.
This isn't a cakewalk.
We're in a heart battle here,the flesh against the spirit.
We're on the front lines of ourown lives.
(21:27):
Paul talks about that battle inRomans, chapter 7, verse 22 and
23.
I love God's law with all myheart, he says, but there's
another power within me that'sat war with my mind.
This power makes me a slave tothe sin that is still within me.
And then we can pray God'sfavorite prayer Lord, help, I
need you.
(21:47):
I can't do anything without you.
Come to me, give me everythingI need for life and for
godliness.
We can either be fully preparedon those front lines or fully
exposed to the enemy's attacks.
Which are you?
Are you ready to take some timewith God, to stand before him,
slate wiped, fully clean,nothing to hide, no fear, no
(22:09):
hesitation?
Fully aware of your struggle,but also fully aware of your
imminent victory in Christ Jesus, you're willing to reach up to
God, to be rebooted, to bestrong, devoted and ready, ready
to reassess, ready to remember,ready to remain in God's word.
We're going to close today onVows to Keep Radio, looking at
(22:30):
the last verse of Psalm 119.
It's verse 176.
David says I have wandered awaylike a lost sheep.
He is saying Lord, I amassessing my heart right now and
this is the reality of where Iam, and I'm willing for you to
take a look at me, examine me,see that I have wandered away
(22:51):
from you.
And then, lord, here's what Ineed from you.
The next part of the verse saysLord, come and find me, seek
your servant.
Don't let me wander from yourpaths, lord servant, don't let
me wander from your paths, lord.
And then here's David'srecommitment to remain in God's
word.
He says I have not forgottenyour commands.
I know that they are what isgoing to give me life.
(23:13):
If I remain in you, lord, Iremain in your word, I will bear
fruit in my marriage.
Are you willing to say to Godcome and find me, seek me out,
lord, search my heart and see ifthere is any wicked way in me.
Take a look at my marriage,lord.
I want it to be fully exposedbefore you.
(23:33):
I don't want to be inself-deception.
I want to reach up to you today, god.
I want you to reassess ourrelationship, lord, I want to
remember who you are and who Iam in you.
Unite my heart to fear yourname.
God.
Teach me your way, lord,according to Psalm 86, 11, so
(23:53):
that I can rely on yourfaithfulness for my marriage.
Lord, here's my prayer todayGive me an undivided heart so
that I can be rebooted in you.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Like what you heard today on Vows to Keep Radio.
Listen to more life-changingbroadcasts at VowsToKeepcom.
Vows to Keep is supported by ateam which includes biblical
coaches, writers and pastoraladvisors.
If you have a desire to servemarriages in your community, we
would love to hear from you.
Vows to Keep is anot-for-profit marriage ministry
(24:28):
designed to bring God'sencouraging truth to the
marriages of our area.
As a not-for-profitorganization, our commitment to
Christlike marriages includesproviding much-needed services,
regardless of a couple'sfinancial ability to offset the
cost of Vows to Keep operations.
If you are unable to donateyour time or abilities, but
would like to help support Vowsto Keep financially, visit
(24:50):
VowsToKeepcom and click on theDonate link.
This program is sponsored byVows to Keep of Zanesfield, ohio
.
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