Fighting Ghosts: How to Break the Patterns That Destroy Marriage

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Are you reacting to your spouse or to the ghosts of your past?

In this episode of The Voyage Cast, Ed unpacks the negative patterns that quietly erode love: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, untested emotions, and old wounds that still control the present. Drawing from John Gottman’s groundbreaking “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” psychology, neuroscience, and biblical wisdom, this conversation challenges you to face the ghosts that sabotage intimacy and gives you practical tools to build a marriage that lasts.

Through the lens of the iconic Good Will Hunting story, Ed shows how trauma, neurological wiring, and emotional reasoning shape our relationships—and how they can be rewired for trust, connection, and grace.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• Why unchecked patterns silently destroy marriages
• How attachment wounds and trauma shape emotional reactions
• Why emotions are real but not always reliable
• Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—and their antidotes
• Practical tools to pause, name, reframe, and respond instead of react
• Why ownership, not excuses, is the key to transformation

Your past doesn’t get the final word. You can stop fighting ghosts—and start loving your spouse.

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