December 15, 2025 • 33 mins
This week on The Walk, worship leader and Christian artist Magen Thurman shares a powerful and deeply personal testimony of surrender, identity, and rediscovering the voice of God in the wilderness.
After years of leading worship and raising a family, Magen stepped away from recording—only to be called back in 2025 with a renewed fire and a deeper understanding of what it truly means to walk with Jesus. Through heartbreak, spiritual warfare, and wilderness seasons, she learned to worship not from the stage, but from the floor of her living room.
🎙️ In This Episode:
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Why surrendering her dream opened the door to her true calling
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How God spoke through literal dreams after her ministry collapsed
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What the wilderness teaches us about identity, trust, and timing
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The story behind her song Walk With Jesus
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Seeing the Father's love more clearly through raising children
“God didn’t bring me into the wilderness to punish me. He brought me there to get Egypt out of me.” – Magen Thurman
🔗 Helpful Links:
This episode is sponsored by Planning Center — the all-in-one platform to help you schedule teams, plan services, and keep your worship ministry organized.
Start your free trial at planningcenter.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the walk where we bring you Jesus, one story,
one song, one step out of time. Today you are
taking the walk with Meghan Durman. She is a worship leader,
a songwriter, and a voice guiding people back to the
presence of God through honest worship and spirit led creativity.
Her songs Walk with Jesus, Wilderness and Depths have become
(00:22):
anchors for people in both mountaintop joy and wilderness struggle.
After years of leading worship and raising her family, she's
returned to recording in twenty twenty five with a renewed
sense of calling and a deeper surrender. Her heart is
simple and bold point people to Jesus. So let's take
the walk with Meghan there. But right before we do,
let's have a quick word from our friends over at
Planning Center.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hey, everybody, Aaron Stewart here, co founder of Planning Center.
I'm excited to share a couple of updates we've just
released to make serving your teams even easier. First, in services,
we've rolled out updated permissions that let you set specific
permissions just for songs media, so now you can give
other leaders access to all the great scheduling and planning
(01:04):
tools without giving them access to all your songs. And second,
we're introducing shared dashboards, a brand new way for your
planning team to collaborate. Now everyone can stay and sync
from the first plan all the way to Sunday morning.
We built these tools to serve you so you can
focus more on ministry and less on managing.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Oh we love those guys over at Planning Center. You guys,
go check them out. They are changing churches and organizations
all across the globe. Let's get back into the walk
and welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Hello. How are you by?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I'm so good. I'm so glad to see a friendly face.
Megan has, oh my gosh, incredible voice. It's really special
to get to connect with you here.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
It's so special to get to connect with you. I
was actually thinking about you yesterday because I know it
is going to be on the podcast. Yeah, and I
don't know tested anyway. I've been tested for add I'm
in the ninety fifth percentile. So this will is my
preface of why I was thinking about this. But I
was thinking, if Bey had another podcast, what would I
name Bay's Podcast? I have a few ideas. It would
(02:09):
be like okay Bee, or it'd be okay, babe, or
I have other a few others.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
But anyway, people always let's go need like merch or
something that says bay Watch. Well, I kind of want
to just jump right in and talk about your story
sort of behind the call of worship. So, Megan, when
you look back over your story, what is a moment
that made you realize God was not just giving you songs,
(02:38):
but he was actually calling you to this thing of worship.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I mean, it starts in the very beginning, and I
started singing with my mom in church. My dad's a
pastor and so back in the day in the Baptist church,
and there's always an offer tory. You know what I'm
talking about. Most of the listeners know what I'm talking about.
There was an offer toory, and so my mom would
if my mom sing, she has a beautiful voice, and
(03:02):
so she would get asked to do the offer tory.
And so anyway, she would ask me to start singing
with her. And I was about five when I started,
and that's when I just I don't know, I didn't
even think about it really, but that's when I just
started singing. But grew up in the Baptist church, so
you know, Jesus loves the Baptist. I'm a recovering Baptist,
did not necessarily learn how to be a worship leader
(03:26):
in the Baptist church. I was the harmony girl my
entire life. I actually wanted to get in country music
and all in high school and college because I just
had never even thought about being a worship leader, you know,
because in Texas at the time, I mean in a
Baptist church, very conservative, all that stuff, women just didn't
do that. And so it wasn't until I got married
to my husband and or my fiance at the time,
(03:49):
and we moved up to the DC area I started,
I mean, everything that I was doing as far as
singing goes like I'd always loved Jesus. I asked Jesus
into my heart to be my savior when I was five.
I always cared about theology. Some of the best conversations
with my dad are were and currently are you know
about the Lord and theology, And so I always loved
(04:12):
the Lord. Never thought about serving the Lord in that
capacity of worship until we moved up to d C,
where I literally God closed every single door that I
ever had opened, every door anyway, you know, it takes
very The Lord has to be very obvious and blunt
with me, or I just I truly won't get it.
I will just be like, what are you talking about.
(04:33):
Let's keep moving, let's keep going. And so the Lord
closed like every door, and I didn't sing for a year,
and I truly became so angry at the Lord. I mean,
it was just one of those lessons you know, when
God takes you through a season and you learn the
lesson of the season. That season was no longer getting
angry at God. So I had to get the angriest
(04:55):
I'd ever been at the Lord then. And then once
everything fell apart and I had not sung for an
entire year, and I was just like Lord. I remember
being on the floor of our town home in northern
Virginia crying, just finally saying to the Lord, Lord, I
will be I don't even care anymore what I'm supposed
(05:17):
to do. I just want the joy and fulfillment of
doing something for you, being used by you. There is
a joy, there is a fulfillment that cannot be matched
in any other way than when you know that the
Lord is not only using you, He's working through you
to impact the life of another. There is nothing better
than that. And I think that that is the Kingdom
(05:38):
of God, that's the Holy Spirit, that is what God
made us to do. And so I remember laying on
the floor just being locking the door. My poor new,
brand new husband of one year was on the other.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Side of the door and he's like, Megan, are you okay,
And I'm like, I'm not okay.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I'm on the floor, and I'm just like, Lord, I
will scrub toilets. I will work in the children's ministry.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
And I said to Ole's first, the children's ministry was
the second option because that was as that's what that is,
how hard children's ministry is for me. And I do
actually go as a camp counselor for my daughter now,
and so that is a new, humbling experience anyway.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
But I was like, Lord, I will do whatever you
want me to do. I just I want to walk
in whatever you're wanting me to do. You're calling like,
clearly it's not singing. We're done with singing. That's fine.
Just what is it? Oh my gosh. I was working
at a retail store. My major with graphic design. I
wanted to get into like retail merchandising, blah blah blah.
So anyway, one of the pastors of the church that
(06:37):
we were at, it's called McClain Bible Church, he walked
into that store and he looked at me and he's like, Megan,
I didn't know you worked here. And I was like, yeah,
I work here, John, And he's like, I've been meaning
to talk to you. I would like for you to
come start singing and leading worship at our college, one
of our college ministries at American University in DC. And
(06:58):
he's like, I'll call you. And truly, that is what
started me being a worship leader. Is that where I
was just like, okay, Lord, I don't know what you
want me to do. It's not singing. That's cool, let's
move on with our life. But it took that year
of heart redirection to finally be able to say, okay, Lord,
this is what you want me to walk in and
(07:19):
I will not go back. I will not become angry
at you again. I've learned that lesson in that season.
Fast forward seventeen years, I mean I started leading at
American University, became an intern at mclaan Bible Church as
a future leader, started working at mclan Bible Church as
a worship leader, became the worship leader eventually of their
main campus. You know, you just kind of learn what
(07:41):
you can do, and then God opens the next door
and you but learned how to be a worship leader,
but more than that, learned how to love love the
people you're leading, like look out and want something better
for them. Then just standing there drinking their coffee, like
looking out and be like, okay, Lord, would you connect
what is what they're singing to their heart? Would you
(08:02):
connect their mind to their heart? Like seeing those people,
seeing the person wiping tears away and being like, okay, Lord,
whatever is happening in that person, God, would you do
something in them, like learning how to see them and
love them. I don't know that that started that. Then
seventeen years later, you know, we've had two babies, We've
moved in DC, we moved back to Dallas. We are
(08:23):
going through one of the most difficult, difficult ministry experiences
we ever had or probably ever will ever go through again,
Lord willing, And I mean just where I had been
told you should, you've got a beautiful voice, you should
never lead worship again. Never where to the point where
(08:44):
I was back there saying back where I started saying, Okay, Lord,
clearly music is over, Clearly leading worship is over. You
don't want me to lead worship those that has completely
just crumbled. So what is the next dream? And I
really thought, like, what is the next ambition? And listen,
not Woo woo grew up Baptists only recently, no longer
(09:07):
a cessationist, you know, like only recently. And I said like, Lord,
would you please give me a new dream? Babe? The
Lord started giving me dreams, like dreams in the night,
dreams like I remember having a dream where my husband
and I were in a car and Corey is driving,
and we are in the car and this is after
(09:27):
all of the ministry things just fell apart. Is awful.
We're in the car, it's nighttime, we're going down this
road and we get in the biggest car crash ever
and the car is spinning and there's lights everywhere, there's
water everywhere, and I knew in my heart in that
dream we were gonna die. And when the car stopped,
it was was as real as if if it happened.
(09:49):
The car stops and you know, you know, it's just chaos,
but I look at Corey. Everything stills, and I look
at Corey and I say, Corey, we almost died. We
almost died, and the Lord saved us. The Lord saved us,
He took care of us, He protected us. This is
the Lord. And Man. I woke up from that dream
and I didn't immediately take it seriously. It was like
(10:11):
the next day, I was driving and I was still
thinking about that dream, and I was like, Lord, what
was that? And that is the beginning of when the
Lord really in that season, started speaking to me through
my dreams of just the Lord was protecting us. The
Lord is protecting us, The Lord is leading us in
a different and new path. And so you know, I
think that like what I learned seventeen years ago was
(10:37):
never be angry at the Lord. So when we entered
this new wilderness, it was so difficult. But I would
say that the past seventeen years I learned how to
love the Lord's church and worship. I learned what that was.
Not just getting up on a stage and singing songs
and making sure they're good. That's part of it, but
(10:59):
I learned how to look out and see the people
and pray the best for them. And hope the best
for them and say, like, Lord, would you do something
in them right there? And I think the new I
think that the new season that the Lord is teaching
me and worship. I don't really know yet, but I
know that it has something to do with walking and
(11:21):
faith and walking and learning and being taught what faith
actually is in what active, active applied faith in every
single moment, what that is, what that looks like, and
how we do that, not just in worship. What happens
on the stage is like not even secondary. It's like
(11:42):
fourth to how we do that with the Lord? And
so probably did not fully answer your question, but hopefully
we get something from that.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yeah, I know that was so good. I love what
you were talking about with the pastor whenever you were
working in retail and then all of a sudden, this
guy kind of shows up out of nowhere and it's
for you. This was a year of like real struggle
and sort of really having to duke it out with
the Lord, and then all of a sudden things shift
and change and then you're going on this whole new path.
(12:13):
And I think as an encouragement to the people that
are listening, God is the God of will suddenly and
like literally overnight, your whole life can be redirected. And
I think it's really cool to see now, seventeen years later,
the fruit of that one shift. I just think it honestly,
on both ends, one thing can change your path for
(12:33):
the good or the bad. I mean, like you have
to just be so intentional to hear from the Lord
about every decision that you make. Honestly, Oh my gosh, yes, yes,
I've been really honestly, really really really intentional about that.
I used to think, Okay, Lord, you're in total control.
I know I have free will, but I just submitted
all to you. And the real reality is he gives
(12:54):
you a choice, and sometimes I choose the wrong thing.
So I don't know, I could go on about that.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Now I totally agree. I think that. Like so in
seventeen years ago, it was the first hugely difficult thing
I went through with the Lord. Now, you know, starting
in twenty twenty two, I went through a New Wilderness season. Literally,
our mutual friend Crystal she called me and she's like, hey,
I have a word for you, and I'm like, it's
going to be success because it was just a very
(13:22):
hard season. I was like success, you know whatever, and
she's like, it is September of twenty twenty two, and
she was like, hey, oh my gosh, the Lord has
a word for me for you. And whenever this person
is our mutual friend, but whenever this person calls, she's like,
I have a word. She doesn't just do that. If
she does that, it's like, oh okay, because you know
that it truly is. And so she's like, hey, I
(13:42):
have a word from Lore for you. And I'm like, okay, girl, okay,
make it good. And she's like, hey, it's threshing floor
and I'm telling you, I am telling you. Beae. That
began the beginning of twenty twenty two began the threshing floor.
A ren dude wilderness. But here's what I learned about
(14:03):
the wilderness that I did not know when I was younger,
is that the Lord himself draws us into the wilderness.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
And whenever I had that dream about me and Corey
having the crash, basically a few months later, I was
leading worship and just this thought came into my mind
as I was leading, and it was just it was
the same road, but its daytime and there were no
cars on it and I was holding the hand of
a man. It makes me emotional even now. Sorry, get
(14:31):
it together, Megan. I was holding the hand of a man,
and I knew that this man was Jesus, and I
knew that he was telling me in this new season,
you have to walk with me in a way you
never have before. You have to talk with me. You
have to consider what I want and what I think
in a way that you never have before. And that
(14:51):
has been true. That was the beginning of twenty twenty two.
That February, I wrote the song called Walk with Jesus.
It's coming out in January, and it is. It was
real from that place of I am going to do
this differently. I'm going to walk with Jesus. And you're
so right that, like it's not just this, like God,
I'm yours God. Look, I want I give you everything.
(15:12):
It is that at the beginning, and then it's the
applied faith of So now you know, Lexi and Bay
texted me, Hey, do you want to be on a podcast?
It's like okay, Lord, yes or no. It's like, okay, Lord,
I have all these things to do today. How do
I do them? What do you think it is?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
I feel like he pays attention like he's the god
of details. And I've had so many times where I'm like, Lord,
are you sure this is you. I'm going to pick
something out in my closet and He's like, no, you
need to wear the blue shirt today. And then the
thing I'll have on sparks this connection with the person,
you know, I lead him to Christ or whatever the
case may be. He really really cares about the details.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I think totally agree. And it's and I just think, like,
over this wilderness season, over the past three years, the
Lord has taught me. He brings us into the wilderness,
it is not his punishment. It is what he is
doing to get Egypt out of us because there is
a promised land he's wanting us to go and walk into.
But we cannot be the same people when we go
(16:12):
into that promised land that we were when we entered
into the wilderness, because the promised land is not just
milk and honey. There are battles in the promised land.
They are giants in the promised land. There are things
that we need to be able to handle with a newness.
We need to be new. We cannot be the people
(16:32):
we were in Egypt. We have to be new people,
handling things in a new way, walking with Jesus in
a new way, considering him and listening to him. And
so in the wilderness, he taught the Israelites when to move,
when to go. As long as that's you and not me,
that's all that matters.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yea.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
He taught the Israelites when to go, when to move,
when to stay. Could be a day, could be a month.
He taught them what his voice sounded like. He taught
them how to obey. He showed them that he was
not this far away God God, but he was father
to them. And I just think like, if God is
father to them, right, he is father to us through
Christ Jesus. He is our father and he loves us
(17:11):
like a father. So he wants us to walk with
him in a way that is so close because he's
our dad. He's our dad.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Yeah, and that's so good. I love hearing. Honestly, there's
so much to be learned in the wilderness season that
I just I just love picking anybody's brain that's either
walked through it or as in the middle of it,
just because I feel like that's when the Lord is
the nearest in the wilderness. We can't be led unless
you are, like really closely listening to the Father. So
when you took yours these years to focus on family
(17:42):
and private worship, how did those hidden years shape you
as a worship leader? And then when you step back
into recording in twenty twenty five, what do you think
change in your heart and in your voice and your
sort of understanding of the love of the Father.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Well, I think I was recording and putting out Christian
music in twenty fifteen. Then I stopped, and then I
wrote with artists and I wrote with friends, and that
was a wonderful season. Not one song did I ever write,
or was ever or was I ever a part of that.
I was like I want that, I want to carry
that song. It was always just like I love that
for you. I love that song for you. And it
(18:15):
wasn't until twenty twenty two, where I entered the hardest
season where my husband and I we both our own
separate hardest seasons, that the Lord started giving me these
songs that like all of the sudden, I wanted to carry.
And it wasn't just like I want to carry songs now.
It's God gave me a melody that I knew I
(18:37):
had to be responsible to. Oh does that make sense? Yes,
that's so, and he gave me man like I remember,
and you're going through the hardest times processing it with
the Lord. And then as you're processing it with the Lord,
you're just like, I don't know. The Holy Spirit does
his supernatural work in our hearts and minds, and then
(18:57):
we start learning from these difficult, difficult things and and
me that produces these lines, these songs this like but
it's all what's happening in here and so like, remember
even a couple of years ago, or this probably two
years ago, I was putting on my makeup, and I
was really struggling at the time with like believing that
God is good, truly believing that the Lord is good,
(19:19):
Like he's good to them, and he's good to them,
and he's good to her, and he's good to him,
But is he good to me? And does he want
to be good to me? And I just and even that,
like even past that, because then it's like, no, I
know he's good, right, I know that he's good. You
and I both know he is good. And we can
sit here whether we're feeling it or not, and say, no,
(19:40):
we know that God is good, but it's the belief.
It's the connecting the mind to the soul and the
heart of like, no, but I believe it. I feel it.
I know it. I feel it. I know it. It's here,
and it's here. It's the whole being, as Paul talks about.
So anyway, so I remember us putting on my mascara
(20:01):
and I was just like, Gosh, Lord, I hate that.
I get up on stage sometimes and I sing these words,
but I struggle to believe them, but I sing them
as a sacrifice of praise. But God, I just want
to know it no matter what season I'm going through,
like will you change me? And then I just I
just like you see people getting up on stages and
(20:22):
leading people in worship and saying one thing, and then
you find out they're just living totally different, and it's
just like, ma, my God, we're here are the Pharisees,
like whitewashed tombes, Like we're speaking righteousness, we're not living
in righteousness. And so I So anyway, I just remember
putting on my mascara and this melody had been rolling
around in my head that morning, and I just was
(20:44):
like I don't want to just sing in worship without
meaning the songs. I see God change me. And then
I was just like and that's all I had. But
I just kept marinating on idea, and then I went
down to write with some friends and they're incredible writers,
and more than that, they're friends. That's the most important thing,
(21:08):
because we can just be friends and then they're great.
So that's a wonderful. It's like the winmen here, you know.
And so anyway, I kind of pulled that out and
they're all like yes, and we wrote depths, which it starts,
and that's how the song starts is I don't want
to just sing out and worship without meaning the songs.
I sang, God change me. And it's just this idea
(21:30):
of like, Lord, you are God, you say to Moses,
I am, and you have remained. I am, and Jesus
you walk this earth and you answer, who are you? You?
He says, I am. Jesus is why we are here.
Jesus is why we are worshiping. Jesus is why we
are doing all of this. And so I just think, like, Okay,
(21:51):
then who needs to change me or the Lord like me?
Who needs to change like us? Are the Lord us
Like I'm I don't want to pray anymore, like God,
bless these Like here's the plan, God bless it. Gosh
if we could just like be praying, Lord, here is
what I want. But like I'm putting all of this
(22:11):
on the altar and you can kill it, you can
change it. I'm not married to it. It's not my kingdom.
This dream isn't mine. I don't care my soul. Care
is what are you doing on this earth? Where is
the Kingdom of God at work? And where do I
play a part in it? Because I know I have
a part. I know you have a part, right, But
(22:34):
is this what you want? And so so hold on,
I'm trying to circle this back full circle, but the
add is strong. What was the question? So I can
I know that there's a connection.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So the question was just about, like in your Wilderness season,
what you learned about.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Well, that's what I learned.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
That's awesome. I love it. Well, I kind of want
to change gears a little bit. That's really powerful stuff.
But I want to hear I'm somebody that I'm getting
married next year and I'm thinking about future and family
and legacy and all the things and you're somebody that's
married and has children, and I'm curious to know how
has raising a family changed your understanding of God as
(23:11):
a father.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I love talking with you because it's like just chilling
with a friend. So this is fun because it's like,
babebe then let me tell you. Okay, I am telling
you bebe okay. So preface, people who don't have children,
this is that you're not excluded. Anybody listening right now,
You're not excluded. The Lord is God of all. The
(23:35):
Lord is not confined by our marital choices and our
family choices and how he wants to impact our life
and teach us. The Lord is God and works wildly
and wonderfully and beautifully. So so the Lord teaching you
how to love Him as father and parent is going
(23:57):
to happen no matter what, whether you have kids or not,
because he his father. So that's my preface.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
For me.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
It was me and Jesus were always cool. I was
always cool with Jesus as a Baptist. It was like
father son, Holy Bible. So like me and the Holy
Spirit have recently become super cool. We good me and
yahweh God. It was harder because I grew up under,
and it's really not it was. I didn't grow up
(24:24):
in like a strict household or anything like that. It's
just like I think the whole culture of what I
grew up in was there, and so I just grew
up under. Just like God can only tolerate you because
of Jesus. The Lord only only sees you with kindness
because of Jesus and man. As I have had kids,
(24:45):
I just like realize, like, Okay, I can only tell
you in stories, so I'm sorry, but my daughter, you
have babies, and you love your babies. But they take
and take and take and take and take, and they
do not give back, and they don't really even teach
you anything because you're just like you're just feeling ragged,
you're feeling used up. You're just like what it's like.
(25:08):
But once they become older and they start understanding right
and wrong and understanding they've disappointed you or they've done something,
and they they're feeling sad about it. Like I remember
my daughter running up to me once and she's like, Mommy,
I'm so sorry. I messed up so much. I'm the
worst daughter in the world. And I know you can't
forgive me, but I'm just sorry. And I was just like, whoa, whoa.
(25:33):
And I'm not gonna say her name, but Babe, honey,
I forgave you before you were born. You don't have
to Are you kidding me? I know you can't forgive me.
You were forgiven before you were born. Why because you're
my kid? And I stopped and I was like whoa.
And I looked at my daughter and that mom was like, right, sorry, whatever,
my oldest child. I was like, babe, Oh my gosh.
(25:55):
That's how God feels for us, That's how the Lord
feels for us. I knew you, I formed you, I
made you, I love you. I am yahweh. And whenever
you start thinking of God as yahweh, then we start
looking at Jesus as Jesus is the reconciler. But what
does it say? What to say in John three sixteen,
(26:15):
for God so loved the world that that he said
his son Jesus. So this whole idea of like God
only loves you because of Jesus. No no, no, no, sir.
God loves you since the before the foundations of the
world were formed. And because he loved you so much,
he sent his son Jesus to reconcile us back to him.
(26:37):
Praise God, Thank you, thank you God for sending Jesus.
And so I think that as a parent, you start,
when you're starting to teach your kids these things, You're
just like, oh my gosh, that is how the Lord
loves us. Accept so much more. Because if we give
good kids to our children, how much more does our
father in heaven. Listen, our Father are yahweh in heaven
(26:57):
give good gifts up to us? Why because parents love
their children and if we love our kids, well, God,
the creator of love, capable of loving infinitely more than us,
loves us more than we could even ever love our kids.
Is that not wild?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
It is so insane to put it from in that perspective.
And I'm just I get so excited for that season
just because I know everybody that I talked to has
had an experience like this, and I just think, what
an amazing thing that the Lord gave us this ability
to be image bearers and create life and then learn
about His love for us through that experience. It just
(27:37):
absolutely blows my mind.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Is that not just like the Yes, it's the incredibleness
of how God works. It's the cyclical nature of God,
of like he gives and in his blessings, he's also teaching. Okay,
I have one more story. Okay. My daughter had knee
surgery last year. She had discoint meniscus. She had to
do a major surgery. She had a full cast up
to her upper thigh walk. We were carrying her up
(28:01):
and down the stairs. At a certain point, I was like,
this killing my back. I can't. And also she needs
to learn how to get up and down. So we
finally the day comes and I'm like, babe, you got
to learn how to go down the stairs. And she
starts crying and she's like no, Mommy, please, no, I can't.
I can't, I can't. And so I'm like, baby, okay,
let's sit down. And so I scoot forward and she
(28:23):
scooches forward and I'm like, honey, you can do it.
And she's like, mommy, please, can you just carry me?
Will you just please carry me down the stairs. And
I'm like no, I'm not going to carry you down
the stairs. Let's keep going. And so she's we're going
down and I go with her every step and we
make three steps down and she's like, mommy, please, and
she's crying, will you just carry me? I'm like, baby,
(28:43):
I'm not going to carry you, but I am going
to be with you down every single step. I Am
going every single step you go down, I'm going down.
And whenever you get to the bottom, Babe, you're going
to know that you can do it. You're gonna be different,
and you're gonna be stronger. You will make it down
(29:04):
the step because I'm with you the entire time, and
i will make sure you make it down there. And
I stopped in that one. I was like, oh my gosh,
this is what God is telling us. I mean, I'm
telling this, so I guess. I'm like, this is what
the Lord tells us. When he tells us he will
never leave us or forsake us. He is with us.
It means that he is going to allow us to
(29:24):
embark on difficult things because at the bottom of those stairs,
it's gonna be a different Bay. It's gonna be a
different Megan. It's gonna be the Bay and the Megan
that God planned for us to be since the beginning
of time. And we're getting closer to that. And He's
not gonna carry us. He's gonna be with us down
every single step, and he's gonna make sure we make
(29:45):
it down to those steps, to the bottom step because
he's with us. That is a soul and a good dad,
a good parent stays with you the entire way, and
he is that. And so anyway, that's my last story.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I'm going to send this podcast to my fiance and
be like, Babe, as soon as we're married, we're having kids,
so I could start learning about the Lord.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Oh my, well, you know, me and Court waited seven years,
and I also think that was a great idea.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah right, but you know, we're all little. We didn't.
Some people get married, you know, at you know, twenty one,
and then they can wait for ten years. But we're older.
So I'm like, time's a ticking biological clock is on
its way.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
But then then in the name of Jesus may he
bless y'all.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
That's right, that's right, And he chooses when to open
or close the womb. So it's up there. But as
we wrap up, we like to do a sort of
like rapid fire section, are you in?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
I feel like rapid fire have too many words, but yes,
I'm in, Okay, and Bay and just say if I'm
talking too much, be like your time's up.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Now, well, rapid fire. It's just one word answer, so
we're in. Okay, okay. Worship song you wish you had written.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Praise the Name the Lord God?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
What is that? Dangd I don't know, Oh the praise
the name, Praise the Name.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Okay. What is the passage of scripture that you go
back to the.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Most Oh, my gosh, Hebrews three and four. No, no,
not Hebrews Exodus three and four.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Okay, right now, okay, what are you coffee or tea coffee? Okay,
coffee order.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
But don't care, curic, I don't care, red bull, red bull?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Right, okay, come on. And then last thing, if you
could just pray one thing over everyone listening right now, oh.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
No pressure, oh my goodness, that every single person would
be able to have a new deeper understanding of God
as yahweh as their dad, as their daddy as some
hate that, but as I hate the daddy God thing.
But like what I'm saying is, whenever you can understand
(31:48):
that the Lord loves you like the very best parent
in the entire dad gum universe, then everything about you
changes your identity. How you see yourself changes your security
and the goodness of God in your life, and your
belief of romans at that God is working together good
for those who love him or called according to His
(32:09):
good purposes. It changes whenever you start believing how that
the Lord loves you, that God Yahweh loves you like
a dad, like your dad. So my prayer would be
that everybody receives the wilderness gets comfortable if they're in
that wilderness. Man, just like sit there for a second
(32:31):
and just say, Lord, Holy Spirit, I consent to you
speaking to me. I open the door, I beg, I ask,
I consent, speak to me. Do your good work in me.
The Holy Spirit, who searches the heart and mind of God,
lives and dwells within me. Okay, So Lord, would you
speak to me in this wilderness time? How do I
(32:51):
love you? How do I hear you? How do I
obey you? What is it that you want to say
to me? And how can I learn from you? Grow
from you? Be hidden under the shelter and shadow of
your wings. That's where I want to be.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Lord.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
That's my prayer over every single person listening.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
I'm getting that tattooed on my back all the way down.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
That's so good.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Well, Megan, thank you so much for sharing a little
bit about your heart where or at. I feel like
so many people are gonna be able to connect with
your story. Buddy. Story is like just streamline up wonder
now all the time, especially when you're walking with the Lord.
So thank you Megan for taking the walk with us
today and we'll see you soon.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Thank you.
Welcome to the walk where we bring you Jesus, one story,
one song, one step out of time. Today you are
taking the walk with Meghan Durman. She is a worship leader,
a songwriter, and a voice guiding people back to the
presence of God through honest worship and spirit led creativity.
Her songs Walk with Jesus, Wilderness and Depths have become
(00:22):
anchors for people in both mountaintop joy and wilderness struggle.
After years of leading worship and raising her family, she's
returned to recording in twenty twenty five with a renewed
sense of calling and a deeper surrender. Her heart is
simple and bold point people to Jesus. So let's take
the walk with Meghan there. But right before we do,
let's have a quick word from our friends over at
Planning Center.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hey, everybody, Aaron Stewart here, co founder of Planning Center.
I'm excited to share a couple of updates we've just
released to make serving your teams even easier. First, in services,
we've rolled out updated permissions that let you set specific
permissions just for songs media, so now you can give
other leaders access to all the great scheduling and planning
(01:04):
tools without giving them access to all your songs. And second,
we're introducing shared dashboards, a brand new way for your
planning team to collaborate. Now everyone can stay and sync
from the first plan all the way to Sunday morning.
We built these tools to serve you so you can
focus more on ministry and less on managing.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Oh we love those guys over at Planning Center. You guys,
go check them out. They are changing churches and organizations
all across the globe. Let's get back into the walk
and welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Hello. How are you by?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I'm so good. I'm so glad to see a friendly face.
Megan has, oh my gosh, incredible voice. It's really special
to get to connect with you here.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
It's so special to get to connect with you. I
was actually thinking about you yesterday because I know it
is going to be on the podcast. Yeah, and I
don't know tested anyway. I've been tested for add I'm
in the ninety fifth percentile. So this will is my
preface of why I was thinking about this. But I
was thinking, if Bey had another podcast, what would I
name Bay's Podcast? I have a few ideas. It would
(02:09):
be like okay Bee, or it'd be okay, babe, or
I have other a few others.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
But anyway, people always let's go need like merch or
something that says bay Watch. Well, I kind of want
to just jump right in and talk about your story
sort of behind the call of worship. So, Megan, when
you look back over your story, what is a moment
that made you realize God was not just giving you songs,
(02:38):
but he was actually calling you to this thing of worship.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I mean, it starts in the very beginning, and I
started singing with my mom in church. My dad's a
pastor and so back in the day in the Baptist church,
and there's always an offer tory. You know what I'm
talking about. Most of the listeners know what I'm talking about.
There was an offer toory, and so my mom would
if my mom sing, she has a beautiful voice, and
(03:02):
so she would get asked to do the offer tory.
And so anyway, she would ask me to start singing
with her. And I was about five when I started,
and that's when I just I don't know, I didn't
even think about it really, but that's when I just
started singing. But grew up in the Baptist church, so
you know, Jesus loves the Baptist. I'm a recovering Baptist,
did not necessarily learn how to be a worship leader
(03:26):
in the Baptist church. I was the harmony girl my
entire life. I actually wanted to get in country music
and all in high school and college because I just
had never even thought about being a worship leader, you know,
because in Texas at the time, I mean in a
Baptist church, very conservative, all that stuff, women just didn't
do that. And so it wasn't until I got married
to my husband and or my fiance at the time,
(03:49):
and we moved up to the DC area I started,
I mean, everything that I was doing as far as
singing goes like I'd always loved Jesus. I asked Jesus
into my heart to be my savior when I was five.
I always cared about theology. Some of the best conversations
with my dad are were and currently are you know
about the Lord and theology, And so I always loved
(04:12):
the Lord. Never thought about serving the Lord in that
capacity of worship until we moved up to d C,
where I literally God closed every single door that I
ever had opened, every door anyway, you know, it takes
very The Lord has to be very obvious and blunt
with me, or I just I truly won't get it.
I will just be like, what are you talking about.
(04:33):
Let's keep moving, let's keep going. And so the Lord
closed like every door, and I didn't sing for a year,
and I truly became so angry at the Lord. I mean,
it was just one of those lessons you know, when
God takes you through a season and you learn the
lesson of the season. That season was no longer getting
angry at God. So I had to get the angriest
(04:55):
I'd ever been at the Lord then. And then once
everything fell apart and I had not sung for an
entire year, and I was just like Lord. I remember
being on the floor of our town home in northern
Virginia crying, just finally saying to the Lord, Lord, I
will be I don't even care anymore what I'm supposed
(05:17):
to do. I just want the joy and fulfillment of
doing something for you, being used by you. There is
a joy, there is a fulfillment that cannot be matched
in any other way than when you know that the
Lord is not only using you, He's working through you
to impact the life of another. There is nothing better
than that. And I think that that is the Kingdom
(05:38):
of God, that's the Holy Spirit, that is what God
made us to do. And so I remember laying on
the floor just being locking the door. My poor new,
brand new husband of one year was on the other.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Side of the door and he's like, Megan, are you okay,
And I'm like, I'm not okay.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I'm on the floor, and I'm just like, Lord, I
will scrub toilets. I will work in the children's ministry.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
And I said to Ole's first, the children's ministry was
the second option because that was as that's what that is,
how hard children's ministry is for me. And I do
actually go as a camp counselor for my daughter now,
and so that is a new, humbling experience anyway.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
But I was like, Lord, I will do whatever you
want me to do. I just I want to walk
in whatever you're wanting me to do. You're calling like,
clearly it's not singing. We're done with singing. That's fine.
Just what is it? Oh my gosh. I was working
at a retail store. My major with graphic design. I
wanted to get into like retail merchandising, blah blah blah.
So anyway, one of the pastors of the church that
(06:37):
we were at, it's called McClain Bible Church, he walked
into that store and he looked at me and he's like, Megan,
I didn't know you worked here. And I was like, yeah,
I work here, John, And he's like, I've been meaning
to talk to you. I would like for you to
come start singing and leading worship at our college, one
of our college ministries at American University in DC. And
(06:58):
he's like, I'll call you. And truly, that is what
started me being a worship leader. Is that where I
was just like, okay, Lord, I don't know what you
want me to do. It's not singing. That's cool, let's
move on with our life. But it took that year
of heart redirection to finally be able to say, okay, Lord,
this is what you want me to walk in and
(07:19):
I will not go back. I will not become angry
at you again. I've learned that lesson in that season.
Fast forward seventeen years, I mean I started leading at
American University, became an intern at mclaan Bible Church as
a future leader, started working at mclan Bible Church as
a worship leader, became the worship leader eventually of their
main campus. You know, you just kind of learn what
(07:41):
you can do, and then God opens the next door
and you but learned how to be a worship leader,
but more than that, learned how to love love the
people you're leading, like look out and want something better
for them. Then just standing there drinking their coffee, like
looking out and be like, okay, Lord, would you connect
what is what they're singing to their heart? Would you
(08:02):
connect their mind to their heart? Like seeing those people,
seeing the person wiping tears away and being like, okay, Lord,
whatever is happening in that person, God, would you do
something in them, like learning how to see them and
love them. I don't know that that started that. Then
seventeen years later, you know, we've had two babies, We've
moved in DC, we moved back to Dallas. We are
(08:23):
going through one of the most difficult, difficult ministry experiences
we ever had or probably ever will ever go through again,
Lord willing, And I mean just where I had been
told you should, you've got a beautiful voice, you should
never lead worship again. Never where to the point where
(08:44):
I was back there saying back where I started saying, Okay, Lord,
clearly music is over, Clearly leading worship is over. You
don't want me to lead worship those that has completely
just crumbled. So what is the next dream? And I
really thought, like, what is the next ambition? And listen,
not Woo woo grew up Baptists only recently, no longer
(09:07):
a cessationist, you know, like only recently. And I said like, Lord,
would you please give me a new dream? Babe? The
Lord started giving me dreams, like dreams in the night,
dreams like I remember having a dream where my husband
and I were in a car and Corey is driving,
and we are in the car and this is after
(09:27):
all of the ministry things just fell apart. Is awful.
We're in the car, it's nighttime, we're going down this
road and we get in the biggest car crash ever
and the car is spinning and there's lights everywhere, there's
water everywhere, and I knew in my heart in that
dream we were gonna die. And when the car stopped,
it was was as real as if if it happened.
(09:49):
The car stops and you know, you know, it's just chaos,
but I look at Corey. Everything stills, and I look
at Corey and I say, Corey, we almost died. We
almost died, and the Lord saved us. The Lord saved us,
He took care of us, He protected us. This is
the Lord. And Man. I woke up from that dream
and I didn't immediately take it seriously. It was like
(10:11):
the next day, I was driving and I was still
thinking about that dream, and I was like, Lord, what
was that? And that is the beginning of when the
Lord really in that season, started speaking to me through
my dreams of just the Lord was protecting us. The
Lord is protecting us, The Lord is leading us in
a different and new path. And so you know, I
think that like what I learned seventeen years ago was
(10:37):
never be angry at the Lord. So when we entered
this new wilderness, it was so difficult. But I would
say that the past seventeen years I learned how to
love the Lord's church and worship. I learned what that was.
Not just getting up on a stage and singing songs
and making sure they're good. That's part of it, but
(10:59):
I learned how to look out and see the people
and pray the best for them. And hope the best
for them and say, like, Lord, would you do something
in them right there? And I think the new I
think that the new season that the Lord is teaching
me and worship. I don't really know yet, but I
know that it has something to do with walking and
(11:21):
faith and walking and learning and being taught what faith
actually is in what active, active applied faith in every
single moment, what that is, what that looks like, and
how we do that, not just in worship. What happens
on the stage is like not even secondary. It's like
(11:42):
fourth to how we do that with the Lord? And
so probably did not fully answer your question, but hopefully
we get something from that.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yeah, I know that was so good. I love what
you were talking about with the pastor whenever you were
working in retail and then all of a sudden, this
guy kind of shows up out of nowhere and it's
for you. This was a year of like real struggle
and sort of really having to duke it out with
the Lord, and then all of a sudden things shift
and change and then you're going on this whole new path.
(12:13):
And I think as an encouragement to the people that
are listening, God is the God of will suddenly and
like literally overnight, your whole life can be redirected. And
I think it's really cool to see now, seventeen years later,
the fruit of that one shift. I just think it honestly,
on both ends, one thing can change your path for
(12:33):
the good or the bad. I mean, like you have
to just be so intentional to hear from the Lord
about every decision that you make. Honestly, Oh my gosh, yes, yes,
I've been really honestly, really really really intentional about that.
I used to think, Okay, Lord, you're in total control.
I know I have free will, but I just submitted
all to you. And the real reality is he gives
(12:54):
you a choice, and sometimes I choose the wrong thing.
So I don't know, I could go on about that.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Now I totally agree. I think that. Like so in
seventeen years ago, it was the first hugely difficult thing
I went through with the Lord. Now, you know, starting
in twenty twenty two, I went through a New Wilderness season. Literally,
our mutual friend Crystal she called me and she's like, hey,
I have a word for you, and I'm like, it's
going to be success because it was just a very
(13:22):
hard season. I was like success, you know whatever, and
she's like, it is September of twenty twenty two, and
she was like, hey, oh my gosh, the Lord has
a word for me for you. And whenever this person
is our mutual friend, but whenever this person calls, she's like,
I have a word. She doesn't just do that. If
she does that, it's like, oh okay, because you know
that it truly is. And so she's like, hey, I
(13:42):
have a word from Lore for you. And I'm like, okay, girl, okay,
make it good. And she's like, hey, it's threshing floor
and I'm telling you, I am telling you. Beae. That
began the beginning of twenty twenty two began the threshing floor.
A ren dude wilderness. But here's what I learned about
(14:03):
the wilderness that I did not know when I was younger,
is that the Lord himself draws us into the wilderness.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
And whenever I had that dream about me and Corey
having the crash, basically a few months later, I was
leading worship and just this thought came into my mind
as I was leading, and it was just it was
the same road, but its daytime and there were no
cars on it and I was holding the hand of
a man. It makes me emotional even now. Sorry, get
(14:31):
it together, Megan. I was holding the hand of a man,
and I knew that this man was Jesus, and I
knew that he was telling me in this new season,
you have to walk with me in a way you
never have before. You have to talk with me. You
have to consider what I want and what I think
in a way that you never have before. And that
(14:51):
has been true. That was the beginning of twenty twenty two.
That February, I wrote the song called Walk with Jesus.
It's coming out in January, and it is. It was
real from that place of I am going to do
this differently. I'm going to walk with Jesus. And you're
so right that, like it's not just this, like God,
I'm yours God. Look, I want I give you everything.
(15:12):
It is that at the beginning, and then it's the
applied faith of So now you know, Lexi and Bay
texted me, Hey, do you want to be on a podcast?
It's like okay, Lord, yes or no. It's like, okay, Lord,
I have all these things to do today. How do
I do them? What do you think it is?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
I feel like he pays attention like he's the god
of details. And I've had so many times where I'm like, Lord,
are you sure this is you. I'm going to pick
something out in my closet and He's like, no, you
need to wear the blue shirt today. And then the
thing I'll have on sparks this connection with the person,
you know, I lead him to Christ or whatever the
case may be. He really really cares about the details.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I think totally agree. And it's and I just think, like,
over this wilderness season, over the past three years, the
Lord has taught me. He brings us into the wilderness,
it is not his punishment. It is what he is
doing to get Egypt out of us because there is
a promised land he's wanting us to go and walk into.
But we cannot be the same people when we go
(16:12):
into that promised land that we were when we entered
into the wilderness, because the promised land is not just
milk and honey. There are battles in the promised land.
They are giants in the promised land. There are things
that we need to be able to handle with a newness.
We need to be new. We cannot be the people
(16:32):
we were in Egypt. We have to be new people,
handling things in a new way, walking with Jesus in
a new way, considering him and listening to him. And
so in the wilderness, he taught the Israelites when to move,
when to go. As long as that's you and not me,
that's all that matters.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yea.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
He taught the Israelites when to go, when to move,
when to stay. Could be a day, could be a month.
He taught them what his voice sounded like. He taught
them how to obey. He showed them that he was
not this far away God God, but he was father
to them. And I just think like, if God is
father to them, right, he is father to us through
Christ Jesus. He is our father and he loves us
(17:11):
like a father. So he wants us to walk with
him in a way that is so close because he's
our dad. He's our dad.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Yeah, and that's so good. I love hearing. Honestly, there's
so much to be learned in the wilderness season that
I just I just love picking anybody's brain that's either
walked through it or as in the middle of it,
just because I feel like that's when the Lord is
the nearest in the wilderness. We can't be led unless
you are, like really closely listening to the Father. So
when you took yours these years to focus on family
(17:42):
and private worship, how did those hidden years shape you
as a worship leader? And then when you step back
into recording in twenty twenty five, what do you think
change in your heart and in your voice and your
sort of understanding of the love of the Father.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Well, I think I was recording and putting out Christian
music in twenty fifteen. Then I stopped, and then I
wrote with artists and I wrote with friends, and that
was a wonderful season. Not one song did I ever write,
or was ever or was I ever a part of that.
I was like I want that, I want to carry
that song. It was always just like I love that
for you. I love that song for you. And it
(18:15):
wasn't until twenty twenty two, where I entered the hardest
season where my husband and I we both our own
separate hardest seasons, that the Lord started giving me these
songs that like all of the sudden, I wanted to carry.
And it wasn't just like I want to carry songs now.
It's God gave me a melody that I knew I
(18:37):
had to be responsible to. Oh does that make sense? Yes,
that's so, and he gave me man like I remember,
and you're going through the hardest times processing it with
the Lord. And then as you're processing it with the Lord,
you're just like, I don't know. The Holy Spirit does
his supernatural work in our hearts and minds, and then
(18:57):
we start learning from these difficult, difficult things and and
me that produces these lines, these songs this like but
it's all what's happening in here and so like, remember
even a couple of years ago, or this probably two
years ago, I was putting on my makeup, and I
was really struggling at the time with like believing that
God is good, truly believing that the Lord is good,
(19:19):
Like he's good to them, and he's good to them,
and he's good to her, and he's good to him,
But is he good to me? And does he want
to be good to me? And I just and even that,
like even past that, because then it's like, no, I
know he's good, right, I know that he's good. You
and I both know he is good. And we can
sit here whether we're feeling it or not, and say, no,
(19:40):
we know that God is good, but it's the belief.
It's the connecting the mind to the soul and the
heart of like, no, but I believe it. I feel it.
I know it. I feel it. I know it. It's here,
and it's here. It's the whole being, as Paul talks about.
So anyway, so I remember us putting on my mascara
(20:01):
and I was just like, Gosh, Lord, I hate that.
I get up on stage sometimes and I sing these words,
but I struggle to believe them, but I sing them
as a sacrifice of praise. But God, I just want
to know it no matter what season I'm going through,
like will you change me? And then I just I
just like you see people getting up on stages and
(20:22):
leading people in worship and saying one thing, and then
you find out they're just living totally different, and it's
just like, ma, my God, we're here are the Pharisees,
like whitewashed tombes, Like we're speaking righteousness, we're not living
in righteousness. And so I So anyway, I just remember
putting on my mascara and this melody had been rolling
around in my head that morning, and I just was
(20:44):
like I don't want to just sing in worship without
meaning the songs. I see God change me. And then
I was just like and that's all I had. But
I just kept marinating on idea, and then I went
down to write with some friends and they're incredible writers,
and more than that, they're friends. That's the most important thing,
(21:08):
because we can just be friends and then they're great.
So that's a wonderful. It's like the winmen here, you know.
And so anyway, I kind of pulled that out and
they're all like yes, and we wrote depths, which it starts,
and that's how the song starts is I don't want
to just sing out and worship without meaning the songs.
I sang, God change me. And it's just this idea
(21:30):
of like, Lord, you are God, you say to Moses,
I am, and you have remained. I am, and Jesus
you walk this earth and you answer, who are you? You?
He says, I am. Jesus is why we are here.
Jesus is why we are worshiping. Jesus is why we
are doing all of this. And so I just think, like, Okay,
(21:51):
then who needs to change me or the Lord like me?
Who needs to change like us? Are the Lord us
Like I'm I don't want to pray anymore, like God,
bless these Like here's the plan, God bless it. Gosh
if we could just like be praying, Lord, here is
what I want. But like I'm putting all of this
(22:11):
on the altar and you can kill it, you can
change it. I'm not married to it. It's not my kingdom.
This dream isn't mine. I don't care my soul. Care
is what are you doing on this earth? Where is
the Kingdom of God at work? And where do I
play a part in it? Because I know I have
a part. I know you have a part, right, But
(22:34):
is this what you want? And so so hold on,
I'm trying to circle this back full circle, but the
add is strong. What was the question? So I can
I know that there's a connection.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So the question was just about, like in your Wilderness season,
what you learned about.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Well, that's what I learned.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
That's awesome. I love it. Well, I kind of want
to change gears a little bit. That's really powerful stuff.
But I want to hear I'm somebody that I'm getting
married next year and I'm thinking about future and family
and legacy and all the things and you're somebody that's
married and has children, and I'm curious to know how
has raising a family changed your understanding of God as
(23:11):
a father.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I love talking with you because it's like just chilling
with a friend. So this is fun because it's like,
babebe then let me tell you. Okay, I am telling
you bebe okay. So preface, people who don't have children,
this is that you're not excluded. Anybody listening right now,
You're not excluded. The Lord is God of all. The
(23:35):
Lord is not confined by our marital choices and our
family choices and how he wants to impact our life
and teach us. The Lord is God and works wildly
and wonderfully and beautifully. So so the Lord teaching you
how to love Him as father and parent is going
(23:57):
to happen no matter what, whether you have kids or not,
because he his father. So that's my preface.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
For me.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
It was me and Jesus were always cool. I was
always cool with Jesus as a Baptist. It was like
father son, Holy Bible. So like me and the Holy
Spirit have recently become super cool. We good me and
yahweh God. It was harder because I grew up under,
and it's really not it was. I didn't grow up
(24:24):
in like a strict household or anything like that. It's
just like I think the whole culture of what I
grew up in was there, and so I just grew
up under. Just like God can only tolerate you because
of Jesus. The Lord only only sees you with kindness
because of Jesus and man. As I have had kids,
(24:45):
I just like realize, like, Okay, I can only tell
you in stories, so I'm sorry, but my daughter, you
have babies, and you love your babies. But they take
and take and take and take and take, and they
do not give back, and they don't really even teach
you anything because you're just like you're just feeling ragged,
you're feeling used up. You're just like what it's like.
(25:08):
But once they become older and they start understanding right
and wrong and understanding they've disappointed you or they've done something,
and they they're feeling sad about it. Like I remember
my daughter running up to me once and she's like, Mommy,
I'm so sorry. I messed up so much. I'm the
worst daughter in the world. And I know you can't
forgive me, but I'm just sorry. And I was just like, whoa, whoa.
(25:33):
And I'm not gonna say her name, but Babe, honey,
I forgave you before you were born. You don't have
to Are you kidding me? I know you can't forgive me.
You were forgiven before you were born. Why because you're
my kid? And I stopped and I was like whoa.
And I looked at my daughter and that mom was like, right, sorry, whatever,
my oldest child. I was like, babe, Oh my gosh.
(25:55):
That's how God feels for us, That's how the Lord
feels for us. I knew you, I formed you, I
made you, I love you. I am yahweh. And whenever
you start thinking of God as yahweh, then we start
looking at Jesus as Jesus is the reconciler. But what
does it say? What to say in John three sixteen,
(26:15):
for God so loved the world that that he said
his son Jesus. So this whole idea of like God
only loves you because of Jesus. No no, no, no, sir.
God loves you since the before the foundations of the
world were formed. And because he loved you so much,
he sent his son Jesus to reconcile us back to him.
(26:37):
Praise God, Thank you, thank you God for sending Jesus.
And so I think that as a parent, you start,
when you're starting to teach your kids these things, You're
just like, oh my gosh, that is how the Lord
loves us. Accept so much more. Because if we give
good kids to our children, how much more does our
father in heaven. Listen, our Father are yahweh in heaven
(26:57):
give good gifts up to us? Why because parents love
their children and if we love our kids, well, God,
the creator of love, capable of loving infinitely more than us,
loves us more than we could even ever love our kids.
Is that not wild?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
It is so insane to put it from in that perspective.
And I'm just I get so excited for that season
just because I know everybody that I talked to has
had an experience like this, and I just think, what
an amazing thing that the Lord gave us this ability
to be image bearers and create life and then learn
about His love for us through that experience. It just
(27:37):
absolutely blows my mind.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Is that not just like the Yes, it's the incredibleness
of how God works. It's the cyclical nature of God,
of like he gives and in his blessings, he's also teaching. Okay,
I have one more story. Okay. My daughter had knee
surgery last year. She had discoint meniscus. She had to
do a major surgery. She had a full cast up
to her upper thigh walk. We were carrying her up
(28:01):
and down the stairs. At a certain point, I was like,
this killing my back. I can't. And also she needs
to learn how to get up and down. So we
finally the day comes and I'm like, babe, you got
to learn how to go down the stairs. And she
starts crying and she's like no, Mommy, please, no, I can't.
I can't, I can't. And so I'm like, baby, okay,
let's sit down. And so I scoot forward and she
(28:23):
scooches forward and I'm like, honey, you can do it.
And she's like, mommy, please, can you just carry me?
Will you just please carry me down the stairs. And
I'm like no, I'm not going to carry you down
the stairs. Let's keep going. And so she's we're going
down and I go with her every step and we
make three steps down and she's like, mommy, please, and
she's crying, will you just carry me? I'm like, baby,
(28:43):
I'm not going to carry you, but I am going
to be with you down every single step. I Am
going every single step you go down, I'm going down.
And whenever you get to the bottom, Babe, you're going
to know that you can do it. You're gonna be different,
and you're gonna be stronger. You will make it down
(29:04):
the step because I'm with you the entire time, and
i will make sure you make it down there. And
I stopped in that one. I was like, oh my gosh,
this is what God is telling us. I mean, I'm
telling this, so I guess. I'm like, this is what
the Lord tells us. When he tells us he will
never leave us or forsake us. He is with us.
It means that he is going to allow us to
(29:24):
embark on difficult things because at the bottom of those stairs,
it's gonna be a different Bay. It's gonna be a
different Megan. It's gonna be the Bay and the Megan
that God planned for us to be since the beginning
of time. And we're getting closer to that. And He's
not gonna carry us. He's gonna be with us down
every single step, and he's gonna make sure we make
(29:45):
it down to those steps, to the bottom step because
he's with us. That is a soul and a good dad,
a good parent stays with you the entire way, and
he is that. And so anyway, that's my last story.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I'm going to send this podcast to my fiance and
be like, Babe, as soon as we're married, we're having kids,
so I could start learning about the Lord.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Oh my, well, you know, me and Court waited seven years,
and I also think that was a great idea.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah right, but you know, we're all little. We didn't.
Some people get married, you know, at you know, twenty one,
and then they can wait for ten years. But we're older.
So I'm like, time's a ticking biological clock is on
its way.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
But then then in the name of Jesus may he
bless y'all.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
That's right, that's right, And he chooses when to open
or close the womb. So it's up there. But as
we wrap up, we like to do a sort of
like rapid fire section, are you in?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
I feel like rapid fire have too many words, but yes,
I'm in, Okay, and Bay and just say if I'm
talking too much, be like your time's up.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Now, well, rapid fire. It's just one word answer, so
we're in. Okay, okay. Worship song you wish you had written.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Praise the Name the Lord God?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
What is that? Dangd I don't know, Oh the praise
the name, Praise the Name.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Okay. What is the passage of scripture that you go
back to the.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Most Oh, my gosh, Hebrews three and four. No, no,
not Hebrews Exodus three and four.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Okay, right now, okay, what are you coffee or tea coffee? Okay,
coffee order.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
But don't care, curic, I don't care, red bull, red bull?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Right, okay, come on. And then last thing, if you
could just pray one thing over everyone listening right now, oh.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
No pressure, oh my goodness, that every single person would
be able to have a new deeper understanding of God
as yahweh as their dad, as their daddy as some
hate that, but as I hate the daddy God thing.
But like what I'm saying is, whenever you can understand
(31:48):
that the Lord loves you like the very best parent
in the entire dad gum universe, then everything about you
changes your identity. How you see yourself changes your security
and the goodness of God in your life, and your
belief of romans at that God is working together good
for those who love him or called according to His
(32:09):
good purposes. It changes whenever you start believing how that
the Lord loves you, that God Yahweh loves you like
a dad, like your dad. So my prayer would be
that everybody receives the wilderness gets comfortable if they're in
that wilderness. Man, just like sit there for a second
(32:31):
and just say, Lord, Holy Spirit, I consent to you
speaking to me. I open the door, I beg, I ask,
I consent, speak to me. Do your good work in me.
The Holy Spirit, who searches the heart and mind of God,
lives and dwells within me. Okay, So Lord, would you
speak to me in this wilderness time? How do I
(32:51):
love you? How do I hear you? How do I
obey you? What is it that you want to say
to me? And how can I learn from you? Grow
from you? Be hidden under the shelter and shadow of
your wings. That's where I want to be.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Lord.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
That's my prayer over every single person listening.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
I'm getting that tattooed on my back all the way down.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
That's so good.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Well, Megan, thank you so much for sharing a little
bit about your heart where or at. I feel like
so many people are gonna be able to connect with
your story. Buddy. Story is like just streamline up wonder
now all the time, especially when you're walking with the Lord.
So thank you Megan for taking the walk with us
today and we'll see you soon.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Thank you.
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