How can we truly believe we're "always enough" while acknowledging we're "never done" growing - especially as mothers who constantly feel inadequate?In this transformative episode of Whinypaluza, host Rebecca Greene sits down with licensed professional counselor and bestselling author Erica Bonham to explore the powerful concept behind her book title "Always Enough, Never Done." Erica, a certified EMDR clinician, trainer, and ketamine-assisted psychotherapist, specializes in serving the LGBTQ community, abuse recovery, and trauma related to social and racial injustice.
The conversation delves into nervous system regulation, the challenges of perfectionism in parenting, and how we can break cycles of shame-bound beliefs while supporting our children's sense of self-worth. Erica shares her expertise on EMDR therapy and ketamine-assisted psychotherapy and offers invaluable guidance for parents supporting LGBTQ children.
This episode is packed with wisdom about healing trauma, understanding our inherent worthiness, and creating a more inclusive world for our families.5 Key Takeaways
➤ The Paradox of Worthiness: You are "always and already enough, lovable, worthy and inextricably connected to every other living thing on this planet" AND you're in a constant state of growth and evolution - both truths can coexist without contradiction.
➤ Trauma Lives in the Body: Knowledge alone isn't enough to heal trauma because it's stored in the nervous system, not the frontal lobes. This is why body-based approaches like EMDR and somatic practices are essential for lasting change.
➤ Model Self-Compassion for Your Children: The best gift we can give our children is to deconstruct our own shame-bound beliefs first. Children see through our words to our actions and energy - we must genuinely believe in our own worthiness.➤ Create Space for Difficult Conversations: Whether discussing LGBTQ issues, race, or other sensitive topics, approach them with curiosity, acknowledge your learning process, and focus on creating a world where everyone feels safe and valued.➤ Healing is Both Individual and Collective: Personal nervous system regulation and trauma healing directly impact how we show up in relationships and communities, creating a ripple effect that contributes to collective healing.Memorable Quotes from Erica"Trauma doesn't give a shit what we know. Your vagus nerve connects the brain stem to the gut - it doesn't connect to the frontal lobes. So we can know all kinds of things, but when we're activated, all of that goes right out the window.""If you wouldn't say what you're saying to yourself to your daughter, if you wouldn't want that for your child - and if somebody showed up for your kid the way you show up for yourself, you'd be like 'get away from my kid, you're dangerous' - then maybe we need to shift that."How to Reach Erica BonhamWebsite: https://www.avoscounseling.com/ (for signed book copies and coaching packages)Book: "Always Enough, Never Done" (available on Amazon or signed copies via website) Instagram: @avoscounselingFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/avoscounseling/TikTok: @ericabonhamsomaticcoach
YouTube: @ejbonham1207
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