Lessons on Loneliness (Psalm 88–89)

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Loneliness doesn’t always arrive with an empty room; it often walks beside crowded schedules and smiling faces. We open Psalms 88 and 89 to face that ache head-on and discover why Scripture refuses to sanitize the struggle. Heman the Ezrahite, a seasoned choir leader, sings a prayer that lives in a minor key—no quick fixes, no neat bow. He empties his heart before God, frustration included, and shows us that honest lament is an act of trust. From there, we uncover a simple pattern for weary souls: pour everything out to God, then embrace him as your truest friend when other friendships falter.

From personal pain we shift to public hope. Ethan the Ezrahite recounts God’s steadfast love and covenant with David, even as history appears to unravel. The monarchy collapses, the throne sits empty, and yet the song insists on mercies that endure forever. We tie that ancient story to our present tense: when God seems silent, he is still working behind the scenes, setting the table for what he will serve next. Anchoring your feelings to Scripture—Psalm 61, Psalm 62, and the refrain of God’s faithfulness—becomes more than advice; it becomes oxygen for the heart that can’t yet see the dawn.

Along the way, we reflect on modern markers of isolation—from public figures who felt unknown in pivotal moments to a government office created to confront a national loneliness crisis. The takeaway is both tender and tough: do not judge God’s faithfulness by what you feel or see. Bring the whole burden, let lament do its holy work, and cultivate a deeper friendship with the One who will never leave you nor forsake you. If your week needs a place to breathe, you’ll find it here, where pain is voiced and promises hold.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
Have you ever felt loneliness?
It's possible to feel alone evenwhen we're around other people.
Loneliness can be one of themost discouraging experiences of
life.
We're created to live inrelationships.
But Psalm 88 and 89 remind youthat loneliness provides an

(01:57):
opportunity for your faith togrow.
It can push you to turn to theLord as your truest friend.
This is the wisdom journey, andStephen Davies' lesson is called
Lessons on Loneliness.

SPEAKER_01 (02:14):
Even though surrounded by admirers and
counselors, one European leaderadmitted some time ago that in
the most important moments ofhis life, he found himself going
through them feeling all alone.
Albert Einstein once wrote thathe found it strange to be known
all around the world and yet tobe so lonely.

(02:35):
Just a few years ago, the PrimeMinister of England created a
brand new office in thegovernment and then appointed a
new minister to lead the office.
This new minister's title, getready for this, the Minister for
Loneliness.
This government official'sprimary role is to come up with
ways to tackle the pervasiveproblem felt by so many people.

(02:58):
In fact, when the office wascreated by the British
government, the Prime Ministersaid that far too many people
suffer this sad reality of life.
Now, if you think this sadreality is only for unbelievers,
well, you're probably not beingan honest Christian, and you
certainly haven't been readingthe Psalms very carefully.

(03:19):
Feelings of loneliness can justas easily invade the heart of
the Christian.
The psalmist David would writethat his heart was broken, and
there were times that hecouldn't find anybody willing to
cry with him or comfort him.
It reminds me of William Carey,known as the Father of Modern

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Missions, a faithful, godly manwho impacted the country of
India with the gospel.
Well, he once wrote that helonged for a friend to whom he
could unburden his soul.
I gotta tell you, this nextpsalm in our wisdom journey is a
psalm written by a lonely man.

(04:00):
Now the heading, thesuperscription here of Psalm 88
says it's to be sung accordingto Mechalak Anath.
That refers to being downcast ordiscouraged.
So I imagine this was a very sadmelody line.
It was probably written in theminor key.

(04:20):
Now the composer of this sadsong is Haman, the Ezrahite.
He shows up earlier in 1 Kings 431 as a wise man, and then again
over in 1 Chronicles 6, he'sleading one of the Israelite
choirs there in the temple.
Now, in spite of all of thatexperience in ministry, Haman is
struggling here with loneliness.

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Now we're not sure why.
He cries out to the Lord becauseit seems like the Lord has
forgotten all about him downhere in verse 14.
He's even crying out that hisclosest friend is now avoiding

(05:02):
him here in verse 18.
This man is experiencingloneliness.
One author wrote that lonelinesscan become a friend, so to
speak, when it forces us to seekthe friendship of God.
In fact, to seek the friendshipof God more than we need the

(05:23):
friendship of others.
That's exactly what Haman modelsfor us here.
In fact, he gives us what I wantto call today two action steps
in dealing with loneliness.
First, empty your heart beforethe Lord.
Haman writes here in verse oneof Psalm eighty-eight, O Lord,

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God of my salvation, I cry outday and night before you.
Down in verse nine, every day Icall upon you, O Lord, I spread
out my hands to you.
Then again in verse thirteen,but I, O Lord, cry to you.
In the morning my prayer comesbefore you.

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In fact, while he's down herepraying, he actually reveals his
frustration with God as well.
He says here in verse 8 that Godis the one who caused his
friends to leave him.
In other words, uh, Lord, you'rebehind all of this.
You know, when you empty yourheart before the Lord, that
means you empty out everything.
You pour out every last tear,even tears of frustration with

(06:49):
God.
And let me tell you, God's bigenough to handle your
frustrations and mine.
In fact, he knows all of themalready.
So empty it out before the Lord.
Cast all your anxieties, allyour cares, all your
frustrations, all your pain uponhim, because he cares for you.

(07:14):
First Peter five seven.
So empty your heart before theLord.
Now here's the second actionstep.
Embrace with your heart theLord.
In other words, when you findyourself without friends,
consider that an open invitationfrom God to become his friend
like never before.
What Haman doesn't understand isthat every time he goes to the

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Lord to complain about his lackof friends, he's actually going
to the right place.
He's going to the Lord.
Now we don't know it from thispsalm, but we know it from other
passages that Haman doesn'tquit.
He keeps on leading Israel'schoir.
I enjoy reading AlexanderMcLaren, who wrote on this

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particular psalm more than ahundred years ago.
God never creates solitudearound a soul without desiring
to fill it with himself.
Well the psalmist David put itthat way in Psalm 62.
For God alone, O my soul, waitin silence.
My hope is from Him.

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He only is my rock.
My refuge is God.
Now Psalm 89 is placed next inline, and it's the last Psalm
now in Book 3.
It more than likely was placedhere to provide some
encouragement to the readerfollowing that sad minor key

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song written by Haman.
Now several words are repeatedthroughout this psalm.
You're going to read words likefaithfulness and forever and
steadfast love and covenant.
And you can underline them, bythe way, a total of 27 times in
this psalm.
Now the author of thisparticular psalm is a man named

(09:04):
Ethan, one of the wise menassociated with the reign of
King Solomon.
He was also one of the choirdirectors in the land of Israel.
Ethan gives us here a ratherpoetic history of the nation,
and it seems like he's agonizingover the ultimate breakup of the
monarchy.
However, from the opening lineof this psalm, Ethan

(09:26):
acknowledges the steadfast loveof God.
Verse one opens with this I willsing of the mercies of the Lord
forever.
With my mouth will I make knownthy faithfulness to all
generations.
I don't know if you're oldenough to recognize that, but
that became a tune when I was achild, and we used to sing that.

(09:50):
Well, here in verses ten througheighteen, Ethan recalls the
Lord's faithfulness and showinghis power against the enemies of
Israel.
He then moves on here in verses19 through 37 to review the
faithfulness of the Lord to hiscovenant with King David.
Now David's going to have a sonto sit upon the throne forever,

(10:12):
it says.
His son Solomon, however,rebelled, and that throne
eventually disappeared from theland.
It hasn't come back to this day,if you've been reading the news.

(10:37):
By the way, what's the Lorddoing during all these
intervening centuries?
You know, when he when hedoesn't seem to be doing
anything to reveal that he'ssitting on the throne, or
perhaps his presence.
Well, let me tell you, he's atwork, he's behind the scenes, in
fact, he's setting the stage forwhat he's going to accomplish
next.

(10:57):
Where's the Lord during our owntimes of loneliness and longing?
What's he doing?
Well, he's at work, he's behindthe scenes.
In fact, he's inviting us tolook to him as our only rock and
refuge.
So let me encourage you today.
Don't judge God's faithfulnesson the basis of what you feel or

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or what you see.
Trust the Word of God.
He's at work, He's workingbehind the scenes, He's working
behind the scenes on yourbehalf, He's setting the table,
so to speak, for what He's goingto serve you next in your life.
So anchor your feelings, anchoryour heart and your mind to His

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steadfast faithfulness, thecertainty of His Word.
God has never made you apromise, beloved, that He's
going to fail to keep.
So during those lonely times,during those times when the
movement of God can't bedetected, well, those are the
times in life that serve as anopen invitation to turn to the

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only one who will never leaveyou nor forsake you.
Missionary widow and authorElizabeth Elliot once wrote,
When you are lonely, use thatstillness to quiet your heart
before God and get to know Him.
Well, that sounds a lot likeDavid.
In fact, he wrote back in Psalm61, O God, I call to you and my

(12:30):
heart is faint.
That is when my heart is lonely.
Lead me to the rock that ishigher than I.
Do that today.
Accept the open invitation fromGod to make him your best
friend.
Well, until next time, beloved,may the grace of the Lord Jesus

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Christ and the love of God andthe fellowship of the Holy
Spirit be with you all.
Amen.

SPEAKER_00 (13:09):
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Stephen Davey.
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(13:31):
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