May 28, 2025 • 40 mins
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Oh dude, we got cursed last night.
Oh dude, it sucks. Sucks so much.
(01:28):
So annoying. So annoying.
Yeah, everything came alive, like every inanimate object.
It was like them alive. It was the Beauty and the Beast
curse, You know, like our toaster was alive.
Our fucking kettle was alive. Dude, don't even get me started
on trying to make breakfast the other day, man, I I'm going to
make my eggs. All of a sudden the pan starts
coming alive. It starts doing a musical, a
single. You know how hard it is to make
(01:49):
breakfast when every appliance goes to make a little musical
number? I go salt, salt my egg.
The bloody salt and pepper comesalive.
Starts singing a song about being salt and pepper.
The pan, it was still hot. It starts dancing around.
It ends up lighting the curtain on fire because it's still hot.
Curtains alive too. Curtains starts screaming.
So I got to grab the fire extinguisher.
(02:11):
Guess what? Fire extinguishers alive as
well. They start singing about we
didn't start the fire. I'm like, I know we didn't start
it, just put it out please. And then it had a blocked nose
and, and it was just, it was a. Whole thing it's just.
Terrible. Yeah.
No, I don't even know how we're gonna lift this thing.
I'm surprised our mics aren't talking right now, honestly.
(02:34):
Welcome to the Wizards. Welcome back.
Welcome back to the Wizards Tower.
I did some voice acting recently, that's really cool.
(02:55):
Yeah, I got approached about like 6 months ago asking if I
want to do some voice acting in this game that's coming out.
Little indie game. Little indie game.
I think it's called the Bureau of the Bureau of Magical
Affairs, Mystical Affairs or something like that.
Yeah, it's really cool. It's.
It's a game where someone you play like basically this safety
(03:19):
inspector that goes around and make sure all the quests that
the hero are gonna do and this like RPG are working.
Well, that's actually really cool.
So what you're like, yeah. So like work, health and safety.
Yeah, basically. So yeah, you like go to like,
you know, the the necromancer and he's like, oh, I've got
problems. Like I can't do this thing.
And then you got to do a quest to like solve that and make sure
(03:40):
the quests all run. Properly.
That's so cool. And then apparently you then you
can play the hero and you play it through the whole game.
Going off what what you the quest you went down changed
certain things. So you get to play the quest
though. It's cool.
It's really cool. And and originally the the
creator of the game was like, oh, you know, like we could
(04:01):
write in Mason your character, like he could have a quest.
And I was like, oh, that's cool.And he's like, oh, but we also
have a lot of characters you canaudition for if you want.
And I felt like it would be really cool to have Mason.
But then I was like, oh, it'd becool if I just, like,
auditioned. And then I feel like maybe I
could get something off my own merit.
Yeah, that sort of thing. And I ended up getting a part as
(04:23):
a sentient quest board. I don't know how much I can say.
I don't know how much I can say about the game.
But you're in it that's. What you're saying, I'm in it,
I'm in it and I voice, I voice acharacter in it.
And I thought, I didn't think itwould be, I don't know, like
obviously voice acting's hard, but I didn't think it would be
this hard. In time consuming?
Oh, time consuming in what sense?
(04:43):
What made it so? Difficult.
Well, I got the script yesterdayand I got, I was, you know, able
to start recording my lines. It took me like an hour to do
like the first four lines. To be fair, I had to set up the
program properly, make sure the sound was all good.
But I was like did 4 lines and Iwas like, Oh yeah, like that's
pretty good. How many lines do I have left?
So I count all of my lines. I have 161 lines and it took me
(05:08):
an hour to do 4 lines. Is there a lot of like?
It was no, it was all the quest.Like just this is the question,
the actual question, wasn't it? Yeah, right.
Because there's so many, like different decisions.
If the player chooses this, thenyou say this and they do that.
So there's 161. Lines multiple, endings
multiple, and that's just one. Character I was like, I'm so
glad I'm not like main. Character.
(05:31):
So many lines. Yeah, so, but yeah, so it took
me ages. I still haven't, I ended up
recording them all and I still haven't finished like cutting
together like the three or four takes I'm happy with for each
line. And then you've got to export
161 separate files, because thatevery line is has to be a
separate file. Wow, that's really cool though.
(05:52):
It is really cool. Did you did you run the audition
for one character? Audition for.
Like 6 really. Yeah, I got one that's good.
That's a. Pretty good.
Well, they said they had like over 400 auditions as well, so I
was like, OK, well I feel. I feel good about that.
So but they reckon there's gonnabe like 100 voice characters or
something like that. Wow.
(06:13):
So that's just one character. There's opportunities for more
characters in the future. So yeah, what the hell?
100 a hundred. Games in the video game that's
like. Dude, yeah, I'm so excited.
Yeah. And it's all like everyone's
just doing it for free. And I think that just being in
the game is. A reward on Saturday, yeah.
Excited to play it. I forget it cuz yeah.
(06:33):
But yeah, so yeah, I couldn't believe 161 lines.
Yeah, wow. It's.
It's a lot. It's a lot of lines.
There's a lot of lines. Yeah, a lot of lines is crazy.
Anything else happened? Oh yeah, Frank's bed blew away
last night. The wind was so bad at at our
like apartments. Frank Frank doesn't sleep
outside, though. I was just he's.
(06:53):
Well, actually I think about I haven't seen him.
Yeah, where's? Frank Yeah, No, look, the wind
was so bad. Like howling winds.
I opened the door. I was like, holy shit.
Like blowing my hair back. Like you had to like fight
against the wind that was so powerful I didn't even notice
last night. I come out this morning.
Bed's. Gone.
Bed's gone. Frank's gone as well.
He's lying. On it like Aladdin in the famous
(07:17):
Disney movie Aladdin, like Frank, take my hand.
Yeah, Do you trust me? Trust me?
Frank's looking back at you. Do you trust me?
I'm like, no, Frank. Come back, street rat.
Over sideways I'm like no, on mymagic dog.
Get back here, Frank. It was an absolute.
I couldn't believe it. It's gone now.
(07:38):
Yeah, that's. Well, his memory's fine.
I was going to say can be fine. I don't know, I hope it's gone
to a better. Place honestly just another dog
sleeping on it. I think it, I think it ended up
flying back into the giant sand tiger base.
That's that's just across the street.
Diamond in the raft. Diamond in the raft.
Like no. No.
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So last week we talked about themost terrible Harry Potter
spells. Yes, yes.
Now five worst top five worst Harry Potter spells.
(09:46):
Now I have a problem with another game, another franchise
magic franchise magic. I have a problem with magic in a
different. Frame.
OK, fuck it. Oblivion.
Oh, OK. Yeah.
Yeah. Elder Scrolls 4 Oblivion.
Oblivion Remastered Remastered Edition 2025.
Yep. Terrible spells.
Yep. So yeah, this is my my top five
(10:08):
worst Oblivion spells. I'm going to start out number
one. One of the worst spells in
Oblivion. Bound boots.
Bound boots? What the hell is that?
Conjure up boots in what? In what reality am I going to
be? Oh, oh hang on, I've got I've
got shoes on right now. Better, better conjure up a
second set of boots and unequip my first set of boots and have a
(10:31):
second When do I need? Another pair of boots.
When do I need to conjure boots?When am I walking barefoot
around here? That's dumb as fuck.
Who's? Using Who's using this spell?
Bound boots and so it's like conjuring a sword and sky but.
Boots, yeah, but you can conjureboots.
You can conjure a whole set of armor, but individually.
So boots. Which brings me onto my next
(10:54):
spell. Which?
I think is helmet. Bound gauntlets, when am I not
going to have gauntlets on? Be like about to get into battle
and be like, you know what, I should bound boots.
Bound gauntlets, by the way, by the way, they only last 60
seconds and then they disappear.So you could be mid fight
(11:16):
fighting someone with your bootson boots and then all of a
sudden, thank God there's no broken glass.
You hope not because 60 seconds could be out.
Oh no my Oh my, shoot my shoes gone.
Oh, why is it only for 60? Seconds.
What if you, like, save someone off a Cliff and then you and
your gauntlets disappear and they just fall?
Oh shit. Oh, bound me up a parachute,
(11:38):
Bound parachute ladder. I don't, I don't know that
spell. That must be apprentice level.
I'm still novice. I bound a hat and then take it
off and like, shake your head like, oh man.
Bound hat. Bound hat.
Yeah, just to take it off and shake it, man, that's a tribute
to him. Oh my God, that's so bad.
Why would you ever need a bound armour?
(11:59):
I don't know, that sucks. I mean I think you can unlock
bounding for a full set of armour later on, but.
For 60 seconds, For a minute. That sucks.
Yeah, I don't like that. That's.
But when are you gonna be combating for just a minute?
Yeah, just a minute at a time. My next worst oblivion spell.
Yeah, in the top five worst oblivion spells.
Snowball, snowball, snowball is a spell.
(12:21):
There's a spell. Snowball does like 10 frost
damage. You're hurling a snowball at
somebody. There's no Nobody has ever died
from a snowball in the. History.
Have you seen Elf? Have you seen Elf?
He throws those snowballs prettyhigh.
Those kids didn't get back up maybe like.
Ice ball I would make. Sense Snowball, Snowball.
(12:41):
That's dumb. Oh, it's a Minotaur.
Quick cast snowball. Why?
Why'd you do that, dude? He just starts laughing.
You just have a snowball fight ball.
Five of the minutes or. Like it's bad.
What kind of a spell is that? That is not even worth reading.
The time to learn in the. Yeah, yeah.
Why? What's there has to be a no, no,
there's just a snowball. It's just a snowball, yeah.
(13:03):
Almost cast snowball. It gets pretty cold Melbourne.
Almost as bad as frost touch where you've just, you've got to
get up to him. He's touched me and got cold
hands. He freezes.
You. Never should have come here and
then you just. Touch it and he's like, oh.
Fuck, that's. Uncomfortable.
You got cold hands. Dude, warm those things up.
Jeez. Have you heard of hot Touch?
Like come on man, that that's a terrible spell in itself, but
(13:26):
that's not on the list. That's bad.
My next worst spell from Oblivion, Summon Ghost.
Summon Ghost, Yeah. Why?
Why would you want to bring someone back from the dead?
Does. It fight for you.
No, it's just I. It could depends what ghost you
summon I guess. Yes, you're basically haunting
(13:46):
your own place. What if he never leaves summon
ghosts and he's like, you know, I actually do have some.
Unfinished business. Now that I think about it, I
might just stick around for a little.
Bit no, I just. Can you not fight for me?
And he's like, I, I don't know you.
What? What?
So what it what does it do? You talk to him.
Like what's the purpose in the game?
I think it's just fine. Just a ghost that hangs around.
(14:07):
Yeah, right. It's just Moaning Myrtle.
Just. Goes Chinese fire dragon it's.
Always back to that guy. Yeah, I don't know.
It's. Moaning Myrtle.
That's suck 'cause. What?
What if it never leaves? Yeah.
Summon ghosts and then just sticks around it goes.
He's. So annoying, can't even carry
anything, can't even carry your you know your weapons and stuff.
It's a ghost. It sucks it.
(14:29):
Gets summoned and, you know, like, how usually like a
poltergeist is like a ghost withunfinished business.
Yeah, It, it's business is done.You summon it and it's like, all
right, well, I, I guess I'll, I guess I'll head back to the
other plane now. And you're like, yeah, no
worries, man. He's like, oh, by the way,
how's, how's my wife? How's my wife doing?
(14:51):
Oh, she remarried. Really.
Wow, you don't. You're my.
Wife, so I got to. Yeah, I've been dead like 3
months. So I got to stand around now.
She's remarried. Where did she live?
And then just. And then now, OK, well now I got
to dude. No, I just, I just wanted you
here for 60 seconds. Just help me with.
That like, but you remember like, do I leave the stove on?
Just has to hang around. Oh shit.
(15:12):
Actually, maybe I do have some unfinished business here, now
that I think about it. So dummy just hangs around,
you're like fuck. Yeah.
Holy Ghost I've got to fucking worry about.
My last oblivion spell that I have an issue with clairvoyance.
Really. What dude real like
clairvoyance. Oh, let me just think Oh, I
(15:35):
think I actually have to turn left at this next.
I'm sorry, at this next intersection here when I.
Was like 16 you were made first playing Skyrim.
I was constantly using that spell making sure I was like, I
had like lost anxiety. The only time I could see me
using clairvoyance is if I lost my phone.
Yeah. Oh.
Where's my phone? Oh yeah, it's right there.
But I've got to Find My iPhone. I don't need that.
(15:57):
I don't need clairvoyne. That's fair.
That's a good one, Accio. Accio.
Accio Phone. How about you just bring a map?
Yeah? Oh, let me just use my magical
spell to. Oh, so there's just a compass at
the top that points you exactly where you need to go?
I think. I think it's a silly spell.
I used it a lot my first scar inplaythrough which was so dumb
because the dungeons aren't hardto get through.
In Oblivion, I understand it. But you know what?
(16:19):
Skyrim? Come on, man.
Just you don't need. You don't need.
Yeah, Here are some honourable mentions for worst Oblivion
spells. Yeah, minor detect life.
What is? What does that do?
So it just like highlights anybody that's around you, but
minor detect live it's like 60 feet.
So it's basically like. You can see right in front of
you. Yeah, there's no, there's no
(16:40):
reality where you'd be like, well, let's see if anyone's
around here and then just illuminates people right in
front. Of me and you're like, I'm over
here. Oh hey, hey man.
Oh OK, that I kinda know that makes.
Yeah, that actually makes sense.I can actually see you.
Yeah, well, I'm glad it works. At least I mean.
If you got does it work through walls?
If you got yeah it. Does OK, that's kind of cool if
you look. At that pretty poor eyesight I
(17:00):
could see you using Minor, minortech life.
My other one, minor wound. Minor boom, what's that do?
I think it's like septum sempra,but it's a minor wound, so it's
like a paper cut. That might be annoying.
You'd be battling somebody. Paper cut in the middle of their
fingers. Like fucker, that's a minor
wound paper cut. Right in my inner.
Thigh like I'm chafing now my toes.
(17:23):
I cast minor chafing. Oh fuck, chafed nipples.
Oh this shirt. Why do I have a rough spin?
Courteous. On now.
Oh, it's so like irritating on my.
Skin I need some band aids. My nipples.
I cast minor chafing on the thighs.
Oh man, ingrown toenails. That would suck.
(17:46):
Yes, you can hear girl. You know that nose like like
Wolfman toes himself. Oh no.
Ingrown toenails. Stubbed toe.
God, there's nothing to stub it on, but I somehow scrubbed it.
Double damage because I had an ingrown toenail.
Funny bone hit funny bone, Curseof minor hit funny bone.
That kind of hurts. It's kind of really annoying.
(18:08):
What do I feel like laughing a little?
Bit bit your tongue. No minor bite of tongue.
Yeah, it just sucks. Anything minor is just a
terrible. Spell.
What's the point of? Anything that says minor, I stay
away from it. That's why that's my rule of
thumb. And you know what?
And I think that, and I think that's pretty good.
That's a great rule of thumb. And I think we just end the
(18:30):
segment here on that one. I think Quizzard for the Wizard,
it's James if you had from shitsand Goose podcast.
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Excludes restaurants. I thought it'd be fun to play
(19:58):
the newly Wizard game instead ofNewlywed.
I actually call it Newlywizz. Oh.
I like. That newlywizz.
Game Newly Wizard. Game new newly wizard game.
So what? Basically I've got 6 questions
here. 3 for you, 3 for me, 03 for each of us.
So it's like 3 will. Be about you.
About me 3 will be about you. OK, very good.
(20:19):
I've really, I, you know how hard it is to write questions
and then not answer them in yourhead.
I've wrote a question down like I was going to answer that saver
for the pod. I was like trying to not to
think about the question I just wrote, you know?
What I mean not. Answer.
How do you not answer a question?
That's what I was trying to do last night yeah, yeah.
So I've got I've got 3 here so basically what we're going to do
is I'm going to read it out and then we're both going to write
our one word answers on the whiteboards.
(20:39):
OK, spin them around at the sametime and.
We're trying to get the same answer.
So we're trying to answer what we think the other person's
going to answer. OK, OK, it's going to be hard
for me because I've got this microphone in my hand, but I'll
try my best. OK, first, first question.
Jackson can only cast one Harry Potter spell for the rest of his
life. Oh, OK.
What spell would he choose? Oh shit, that's a good question.
(21:02):
It is a good question. Oh I actually don't know.
There's so many great spells that you could choose like
insert spell here or yeah, that's good, insert spell here.
I just, I'm trying to, I don't want to give anything away when
I'm going to write. I'm trying to figure out how to
spell the spell I'm thinking. Yeah, me too.
I'm trying to like sound it out.I don't.
(21:26):
I don't think that's how you spell it, but I'll I'll say.
Maybe. OK, Are you ready?
Are we going to reveal them to the camera but also to us at the
same time? Yep.
So I think you spin it first andthen yeah.
OK, all right, so the spell thatI would think I would like for
the rest of my life. Akio.
Bro Akio, I got Akio as well. Let's go home.
Do we spell it the same or we? Did.
(21:48):
Oh, OK, maybe that is how you spell it.
Or maybe we're just both. Really caught up on camera good.
I don't think so. No, not at all.
The exposure's just like. So yeah, I thought I'd be the
guys. Anyway, you're all through
Accio. All right, we both got Accio.
Damn, that's pretty good. OK.
I mean, it was either that or like, oh God.
I was thinking like when Guardian Leviosa be kind of
sick, like being able to telekinesis flip things.
(22:11):
Like, I thought that'd be kind of cool.
Akeo everything. Akeo phone.
Akeo fucking me to that fridge. I don't know.
Yeah, that'd be kind of cool. Is.
That a thing? Can you like put just?
I guess that's, well, that'd be teleporting.
Well, the teleporting won't be sick, but I don't know what
that's. Called.
Is that a spell? I think you just learn it.
Yeah, you just, I guess it is your.
Head. What?
What's that called? Yeah.
(22:33):
You would think divination. Divination.
But that's what it apparition thinks.
Apparation. Oh yeah, that sounds right.
That would be cool. Like the Death Eater, like and
like a trailer, black smoke is always following you.
That would be sick. Smoke alarms go off constantly.
Every time you act, go into somebody's like, fly around.
This next one If Mitchell could be any villain in any movie, who
(22:55):
would it be? Now I.
Villain in any movie. What kind of question?
You already have an answer I. Actually don't.
I did this last night. I'm like fuck and I still have.
Villain in any movie. There's so many.
I mean, James Bond there's. I'm trying to think of villains,
I guess Marvel movies. There's villains.
I'm. I'm struggling to be.
(23:17):
I don't. Know if you would.
I don't know if you'd be like something like Thanos or
anything like that. That seems it's kind of weird.
Yeah. Thanos is also bald, which just.
Yeah. Who do I, who who, what villain
do I most? Probably that guy from James
Bond with the eye patch that cries blood.
He has to do. He has to do that.
(23:38):
The mad miggle and black. Yeah, I've been seen a.
Royale, who beats James Bond with a knotted rope.
Yeah, beats his nuts in. The nuts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be me.
I like. The crazy torture method, like
of all the torture you could do,yeah.
Cut the hole in the chair bro, it's so rough.
He's he's like pre thought this out.
Like it's not even like a improvtorture.
(24:00):
He's like, yeah, I really want to, I really want to capture
someone to be sick. Cut the bottom out of a chair.
I need to make sure, I need to make sure it's a chair that has
like a mesh, like cut through. Like can't have a wooden chair.
There's no way board a chair. That's there's no way.
After being nutted. It sounds like a grey mush in
that ball sack. Yeah, I guess so.
(24:21):
I honestly don't know this answer, I'm just going to write
the first thing that came to my head.
OK, I don't even know. I don't even know.
His name? It's it's not a James Bond
villain, is it? OK, let me think.
If you get this, we write the. Same thing.
I don't even know. I don't want to.
(24:41):
I don't want to. I could easily look at what
you're writing right now, but I don't.
I don't want to give it away. I just I can't remember his name
so I just wrote. OK, you don't remember his.
Name like what he is and what franchise is a part of if that
helps. OK, I don't think I got this.
What did you write? That's pretty good.
No, I wrote Fire Guy from X-Men.I can't remember the game.
(25:03):
Oh, what the fuck? Pyro.
Pyro now? I don't know.
I just. That's the first thing I
thought. Man, I would have said like
Magneto. Is the pyro guy's cool?
That would be actually. He gets his ass kicked by a
fucking Iceman though. He's.
Supposed to be like one of the most powerful fire mutants.
Fire guy allegedly. I didn't.
Even think of that, that sick. Yeah, so, OK, I thought a Death
(25:24):
Eater just because I thought youwere like, you know, you are a
little bit racist. So, so you're a little bit what,
a little bit of a. Supremacist, that's what you.
Think a wizard supremacist. That's crazy, Dan.
That was a tough one because I didn't think I wrote that.
And I thought, oh, I'll just think of it tomorrow.
And I just could not think of it.
Like damn it, why did I do that?This next one's good.
(25:45):
If Jackson was damned to crew the Flying Dutchman from the
Pirates of Caribbean movie trilogy.
Yeah. Trilogy.
Yeah, we don't. Can.
You know, the other two don't matter.
Yeah. What fish head would he have
that? Fucking sucks.
What do you mean? That's a.
Sink question, but I just mean like, that means I have to have
a fish head. Oh yeah, yeah, that's sucks.
Yeah. What kind of?
Fish you've joined it like pre will Turner because if you were
(26:08):
part of will Turner you wouldn'tbe right I.
Definitely don't want to be the bloatfish guy or the hammerhead
guy 'cause they're both. They're both so.
Rough. Oh, what kind of head would I
have? I don't know.
Like octopus is just kind of. Goated.
That's why octopus is goated. But I'm going to say you can't
do octopus. Yeah, I don't think I can do
Davy Jones's octopus head because it's so useful.
(26:29):
You have so many hands you can grab.
It's kind of, it's kind of luckyhe got that.
Honestly imagine if he got like.That snake 1 He can't follow a
captain with a snake head. Like that was like the crawfish
then like the. It'll come to me.
Come over to me. Come over to me.
No, no. Burn my voice.
Burn my voice. You don't want to be the hammer
crab guy. The hammer crab.
(26:49):
Captain. Oh man, that's.
Tough, tough question. I don't know.
I don't wait for you to think once and then I can think about.
I'm also like, I don't know thatmuch aquatic life.
I know that's what I'm worried. About too meets a a good head.
Yeah, maybe like does. It have to be a fish can be like
a mammal. Oh, I got.
I think that's kind of shit, butI'll give I'm going to write it
down. A mammal?
(27:10):
Don't say whale. Not mammal, no.
I was like going to be. I was like kill a whale.
No, I won't be that. I got 1.
OK, you got one? Yeah, OK.
I'm still thinking of 1 and go. I'll turn mine around this time
first I think. OK, hopefully.
I feel like people aren't going to say it.
I wrote croc like like a crocodile.
Damn. That's actually so.
You'd be like kill a croc then. God damn, that's way cooler than
(27:33):
what I wrote, Croc. I wrote.
I wrote a dolphin but I couldn'tthink of.
I couldn't think of like. Dolphin is the most least
threatening. Fucking.
That's the noise you make when you're stabbing someone, like
from Psycho. And people could just cover my
blowhole and I'd just die like dolphin.
(27:54):
Oh my God, I'd lose my mind if Isaw a dolphin on the Davy Jones.
Look at that's hilarious. Do you fear of death?
I don't know. Dolphins are pretty vicious.
Yeah, I mean that one Simpsons episode.
I mean, that's kind of scary. Dolphins.
Dolphins are known to to murder.That's why you chose that.
(28:14):
Yeah, they pull people under andthey like, drown on the dolphins
sometimes. They like, they'll like
purposely like hold them down and stuff.
Then they do a certain thing forfun as well.
They do like some bad things forfun.
They. Do some bad things for fun,
yeah. I think they're too smart.
That's the problem. It's kind of scary.
Damn, that's a good one. Yeah, Dolphin's hilarious.
OK, I like this next one. I'm really happy.
(28:35):
I I I cooked with this next question.
OK, OK, OK. If Mitch was a playable
character in an RPG and he had 20 skill points to use in these
three skills, I'd write these down with you.
Wait, what? OK, OK.
Yeah. Charisma, OK, Intelligence, OK,
and strength. Oh, OK.
What would be his base you have?20.
(28:57):
Points. I have 20 points So what would
be his base stats? OK.
So this is real. Life too, and you have to spend
all 20. All 20.
I was going to give myself 10, but then I felt that.
I'd have to give you wow. Giving you ones in one thing
would mean I have to give you a lot in another.
Well maybe you don't have to spend all 20 but one.
Come on bro, I'm not. I've got a bit of.
(29:19):
Breeze. OK, all right, all right, all
right. I can do this.
I can do this, I reckon. All right, I reckon if we have
to distribute it. OK.
Oh, fuck. I just gave up all, all, every
point. All right, Yeah.
I was like, I'm not good at mathand right now.
There's no shot we get this exactly right. 2020 divisible by
(29:40):
three. I'm going to do some math here.
He's. Going to give me what do you
call it the balance between each?
3 so I can divide it 776 okay I think.
It's too much. It's too much in one.
I've gotta change it. Okay, I think that's pretty
good. Maybe.
Does that add up? I don't think that adds up.
(30:01):
I think I've done my math wrong,yeah.
So have I, I've had way too manypoints.
Yeah, I'm gonna do that. I think that's good.
Brain teas are a little bit likeI had to, Yeah, OK.
I did white. I was gonna do 10 and then I was
like, I don't want to give myself like 3 and strength or
you know, yeah, yeah. OK, so you read yours out first
and so. OK, so for Charisma, yeah, I
(30:23):
gave you. 7/7 for Charisma. OK, I gave myself 6 for
charisma. OK.
OK. Well, and then for intelligence,
I gave you 8. I gave myself 4.
Oh, OK, well. Well, like how you say.
Me. Yeah, I thought I was
definitely. I gave myself 10 for strength.
I thought I was definitely stronger.
No, and I gave you 5 for. Stronger strength, but you think
my Christmas and we. We go rock climbing a lot.
(30:46):
I say I was rough. I, I, I think now I feel, I
don't know, now I feel bad because I called you weak.
Basically. I don't.
Know, you know what's actually hilarious?
So the one that you put the weakest in, I put the highest
in, and the one that I put the lowest in, you put the highest
in. Damn, I guess I also like kind
of thought what I value so I'm like what?
(31:08):
Would. What would be fair as well?
Like I feel like. That's kind of funny.
I don't know, I wouldn't want togive you like a one in
intelligence because that's justcalling you stupid.
Like I don't think you're bored at all.
So, yeah, OK, Well, that's pretty.
That was good. That's a pretty good.
It's interesting how division see myself and you see me.
Yeah, well, there you go. See yourself as really strong
(31:30):
for some. Reason which 10.
'S kind of crazy. I don't know.
There's no indication that's giving you.
I don't. Know why I decided 10?
Bro the absolute goal to put 10 for strength, yeah.
Do you like that question? I was so happy with that
question. I thought I cooked so hard with
that question. Yeah, yeah.
(31:52):
If Jackson was a playable character in RPG, OK, what would
his starting class be? Oh, OK, and what, what classes
have we got? I haven't got I haven't written
down classes I just left it up to.
I was thinking more like Skyrim type vibes, like D&D, you know
what I mean? Like, yeah, you're generic like.
Oh, OK, but this is this is I feel like we got to set some
(32:12):
rules for like what to select because there's like, you know,
you could be like a spell Slinger, like you can have like
sword and spells you could be, or do we just want to hit it
with like mage? I think it's, I think we go just
bass. Mage, thief, warrior.
Warrior. Yeah, OK.
OK. Yep.
All right. I.
Think I know the answer to this.Oh, really?
(32:34):
Yeah. OK, this OK.
OK, this might be a bit controversial.
I don't know why my spelling is terrible and I don't know why I
chose to do a writing do a writing segment.
OK. All right.
You ready? Yeah, I did, Archer.
Oh. Fuck, that's actually so much
better, because that's actually what I yeah, that's probably.
What? I was sure that's what it was.
He's kind of tying together. I chose Thief.
(32:54):
Oh yeah, yeah. OK, so like the stealth.
Stealth faith. Yeah, sorry, I guess.
Stealth Archer. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. I think I would be an Archer.
I was actually pretty good at archery back in the day.
Yeah, I used. To I used to go, I used to arch
I. Was an arch.
Yeah, I used to arch sometimes. Yeah, damn.
Because. I used to hold up bridges.
Wizards are cool, don't get me wrong.
(33:16):
Yeah, I am a wizard, but Wizardsare cool.
But the whole Manor? We're already a wizard.
We've got to play outside, you know what I mean?
That's very true, you know, and managing your, your, your well
of manner and stuff is quite irritating sometimes.
Sometimes I just wish I could bea really stealthy guy that
shoots people from the shadows. Yeah, I agree.
(33:37):
It's kind of the. Easiest way to play.
I got one more OK, if Mitch was a candle scent, what scent would
he be? Shit probably poo.
Probably. What's that?
What's that? Gwyneth Paltrow one, Probably,
yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina, That
(33:57):
one. Yeah.
I think it would be that. That's fucked.
I don't. I don't know.
You're already writing and I haven't.
I don't even know. I have no idea.
I don't even know how to spell this.
I'm just going to spell check this too, just to make sure I
don't make a fool of myself. Although saying I had to spell
check it might in itself be making a fool of me.
(34:18):
Damn, I was so close, so close, so double N.
You said it had double N in it. Not a single one of my words
has. Double N Oh, that's not good.
I did. I did orange and sandalwood.
Oh, that's actually. That's what that would smell
like, man. Sandal.
Well, I don't Yeah. I don't know about the
combination of orange and. Stuff, I don't know, I reckon
it's nice. I reckon it'd be kind of fire.
(34:38):
I said cinnamon. Oh, that's not bad actually.
I can see that. I don't know.
That's not bad at all, yeah. That's just the first thing
that. Popped.
Yeah, maybe cinnamon and sandal would be better.
That would actually go pretty. I reckon I might change it to
that. There's probably a candle out
there that is cinnamon. And have you Heard?
Travis Barker's candle. It's like, it's like a Sorry,
what? Oh, you got a chalkboard?
(35:00):
I just rubbed my nails down it. Have you heard Travis Barker's?
It's like, it's like concrete after a stormy winter or
something. It's like crazy.
Some guy like melted that candle.
Into a desk? Yeah, I saw that as well.
Which I'm like why would I? But then the you can only use
that candle once. Yeah, I know.
(35:22):
And then it's done. And then you've got a table with
an empty candle wax in it. Yeah, yeah.
Weird. Cool concept.
I mean, not that Travis Bark would probably ever light that
candle either because he's so rich.
He'd be like, Oh yeah, cool, thanks for the table.
I put it in my 7th house. Like, yeah, that'll be great on
Airbnb. Cool people are going to love
that in my blink 182 themed Airbnb.
(35:44):
Yeah, like what does what does aman?
This is what pisses me off aboutcelebrities sometimes with like
getting stuff, getting stuff forfree.
And like people make these like YouTube views where they're
like, I built this for this celebrity and I'm like, the guy
has millions. I'll I'll be honest, it's so
cool. Like it is really cool and it's
(36:05):
super custom personalized. Let's be honest guys, never
going to fucking. Use that.
Is he going to sit down on that desk?
I want to see a photo of or video or just something of
Travis Scott sitting at that desk and writing a song.
When, when people are like, I just, I made a custom pair of
Nike Air Forces for this celebrity, that guy's never
going to wear those shoes straight up.
I mean, they might be. Cool to like playpiece, Yeah,
(36:26):
yeah. The guy's so rich.
Yeah. He's he's probably got a Banksy
in his house that you know, like, I don't know, you watch
these videos and you're like, damn, that is really.
Eats up a Banksy. Yeah, you're like, the craft is
really cool and it's they're cool videos.
But then you you get into the weeds of like, are they really
going to? Yeah, they're actually really
going to use that. I probably, I mean, I reckon
(36:47):
maybe, maybe. Have you thought of one for me?
Can you get you get a question off the top you have for this?
Oh for fuck. You put me on the spot, do you?
I just wrote a bunch of questions like do you ever wrote
them for me? All right, I might have one.
I don't have a OK fair enough. Well good, I gotta think of 1.
Let's just pick a random word. OK, I've picked work.
(37:08):
Work it in OK. OK, let me try and see if I can
mentally translate it to you. I'm getting nothing.
Damn, I got to work on my telekinesis.
I'm going to. I don't.
Know you got to work on your clairvoyance, man.
You were the guy who said you'd cast it all the time.
OK, OK. What did you get?
I wrote over as in like the podsover.
(37:30):
I wrote Excalibur. Not exactly.
Maybe I should have wrote Wait, hang on a second.
I wrote podcast. Oh, whoa.
Podcast over. Damn, that's great.
We're on the same. That's crazy.
We're on the same page right there because they wouldn't even
know if that says Excalibur or Podcast.
Excalibur. There's no shot.
(37:51):
I'm going to think of Excalibur.I don't know.
God damn it, I thought. We're on the same page.
If you really did, if you reallydid marry me, we would have got
the same answer. You would have known I wrote
Excalibur, actually. Calibur.
Yeah, it's funny. Fuck.
Well, that's all the time we have on the Wizards Tower.
If you'd like to reach the Wizards, you can send her now to
(38:12):
the Wizards Tower pod@gmail.com,and you can also follow us on
Instagram and TikTok, whatever the hell that is.
Anyway, don't forget to grab your hat, grab your star, and
we'll see you on the next episode of The Wizard's Tower.
(38:38):
It's Jason Fuhad from Shits and Goose Podcast, and we're here to
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Location The lab Quinton only has 24 hours to sell his car.
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What is this, a movie trailer? He ignores the doubters, enters
his license plate. Wow, that's a great offer.
The car is sold, but will Carvana pick it up in time?
They'll literally pick it up tomorrow morning.
Done with the dramatics. Car selling in record time.
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Oh dude, we got cursed last night.
Oh dude, it sucks. Sucks so much.
(01:28):
So annoying. So annoying.
Yeah, everything came alive, like every inanimate object.
It was like them alive. It was the Beauty and the Beast
curse, You know, like our toaster was alive.
Our fucking kettle was alive. Dude, don't even get me started
on trying to make breakfast the other day, man, I I'm going to
make my eggs. All of a sudden the pan starts
coming alive. It starts doing a musical, a
single. You know how hard it is to make
(01:49):
breakfast when every appliance goes to make a little musical
number? I go salt, salt my egg.
The bloody salt and pepper comesalive.
Starts singing a song about being salt and pepper.
The pan, it was still hot. It starts dancing around.
It ends up lighting the curtain on fire because it's still hot.
Curtains alive too. Curtains starts screaming.
So I got to grab the fire extinguisher.
(02:11):
Guess what? Fire extinguishers alive as
well. They start singing about we
didn't start the fire. I'm like, I know we didn't start
it, just put it out please. And then it had a blocked nose
and, and it was just, it was a. Whole thing it's just.
Terrible. Yeah.
No, I don't even know how we're gonna lift this thing.
I'm surprised our mics aren't talking right now, honestly.
(02:34):
Welcome to the Wizards. Welcome back.
Welcome back to the Wizards Tower.
I did some voice acting recently, that's really cool.
(02:55):
Yeah, I got approached about like 6 months ago asking if I
want to do some voice acting in this game that's coming out.
Little indie game. Little indie game.
I think it's called the Bureau of the Bureau of Magical
Affairs, Mystical Affairs or something like that.
Yeah, it's really cool. It's.
It's a game where someone you play like basically this safety
(03:19):
inspector that goes around and make sure all the quests that
the hero are gonna do and this like RPG are working.
Well, that's actually really cool.
So what you're like, yeah. So like work, health and safety.
Yeah, basically. So yeah, you like go to like,
you know, the the necromancer and he's like, oh, I've got
problems. Like I can't do this thing.
And then you got to do a quest to like solve that and make sure
(03:40):
the quests all run. Properly.
That's so cool. And then apparently you then you
can play the hero and you play it through the whole game.
Going off what what you the quest you went down changed
certain things. So you get to play the quest
though. It's cool.
It's really cool. And and originally the the
creator of the game was like, oh, you know, like we could
(04:01):
write in Mason your character, like he could have a quest.
And I was like, oh, that's cool.And he's like, oh, but we also
have a lot of characters you canaudition for if you want.
And I felt like it would be really cool to have Mason.
But then I was like, oh, it'd becool if I just, like,
auditioned. And then I feel like maybe I
could get something off my own merit.
Yeah, that sort of thing. And I ended up getting a part as
(04:23):
a sentient quest board. I don't know how much I can say.
I don't know how much I can say about the game.
But you're in it that's. What you're saying, I'm in it,
I'm in it and I voice, I voice acharacter in it.
And I thought, I didn't think itwould be, I don't know, like
obviously voice acting's hard, but I didn't think it would be
this hard. In time consuming?
Oh, time consuming in what sense?
(04:43):
What made it so? Difficult.
Well, I got the script yesterdayand I got, I was, you know, able
to start recording my lines. It took me like an hour to do
like the first four lines. To be fair, I had to set up the
program properly, make sure the sound was all good.
But I was like did 4 lines and Iwas like, Oh yeah, like that's
pretty good. How many lines do I have left?
So I count all of my lines. I have 161 lines and it took me
(05:08):
an hour to do 4 lines. Is there a lot of like?
It was no, it was all the quest.Like just this is the question,
the actual question, wasn't it? Yeah, right.
Because there's so many, like different decisions.
If the player chooses this, thenyou say this and they do that.
So there's 161. Lines multiple, endings
multiple, and that's just one. Character I was like, I'm so
glad I'm not like main. Character.
(05:31):
So many lines. Yeah, so, but yeah, so it took
me ages. I still haven't, I ended up
recording them all and I still haven't finished like cutting
together like the three or four takes I'm happy with for each
line. And then you've got to export
161 separate files, because thatevery line is has to be a
separate file. Wow, that's really cool though.
(05:52):
It is really cool. Did you did you run the audition
for one character? Audition for.
Like 6 really. Yeah, I got one that's good.
That's a. Pretty good.
Well, they said they had like over 400 auditions as well, so I
was like, OK, well I feel. I feel good about that.
So but they reckon there's gonnabe like 100 voice characters or
something like that. Wow.
(06:13):
So that's just one character. There's opportunities for more
characters in the future. So yeah, what the hell?
100 a hundred. Games in the video game that's
like. Dude, yeah, I'm so excited.
Yeah. And it's all like everyone's
just doing it for free. And I think that just being in
the game is. A reward on Saturday, yeah.
Excited to play it. I forget it cuz yeah.
(06:33):
But yeah, so yeah, I couldn't believe 161 lines.
Yeah, wow. It's.
It's a lot. It's a lot of lines.
There's a lot of lines. Yeah, a lot of lines is crazy.
Anything else happened? Oh yeah, Frank's bed blew away
last night. The wind was so bad at at our
like apartments. Frank Frank doesn't sleep
outside, though. I was just he's.
(06:53):
Well, actually I think about I haven't seen him.
Yeah, where's? Frank Yeah, No, look, the wind
was so bad. Like howling winds.
I opened the door. I was like, holy shit.
Like blowing my hair back. Like you had to like fight
against the wind that was so powerful I didn't even notice
last night. I come out this morning.
Bed's. Gone.
Bed's gone. Frank's gone as well.
He's lying. On it like Aladdin in the famous
(07:17):
Disney movie Aladdin, like Frank, take my hand.
Yeah, Do you trust me? Trust me?
Frank's looking back at you. Do you trust me?
I'm like, no, Frank. Come back, street rat.
Over sideways I'm like no, on mymagic dog.
Get back here, Frank. It was an absolute.
I couldn't believe it. It's gone now.
(07:38):
Yeah, that's. Well, his memory's fine.
I was going to say can be fine. I don't know, I hope it's gone
to a better. Place honestly just another dog
sleeping on it. I think it, I think it ended up
flying back into the giant sand tiger base.
That's that's just across the street.
Diamond in the raft. Diamond in the raft.
Like no. No.
(08:00):
All right, let's get into it's. Tender string, like let's bring
me the lamp, bring me the lamp and then you'll get your reward.
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So last week we talked about themost terrible Harry Potter
spells. Yes, yes.
Now five worst top five worst Harry Potter spells.
(09:46):
Now I have a problem with another game, another franchise
magic franchise magic. I have a problem with magic in a
different. Frame.
OK, fuck it. Oblivion.
Oh, OK. Yeah.
Yeah. Elder Scrolls 4 Oblivion.
Oblivion Remastered Remastered Edition 2025.
Yep. Terrible spells.
Yep. So yeah, this is my my top five
(10:08):
worst Oblivion spells. I'm going to start out number
one. One of the worst spells in
Oblivion. Bound boots.
Bound boots? What the hell is that?
Conjure up boots in what? In what reality am I going to
be? Oh, oh hang on, I've got I've
got shoes on right now. Better, better conjure up a
second set of boots and unequip my first set of boots and have a
(10:31):
second When do I need? Another pair of boots.
When do I need to conjure boots?When am I walking barefoot
around here? That's dumb as fuck.
Who's? Using Who's using this spell?
Bound boots and so it's like conjuring a sword and sky but.
Boots, yeah, but you can conjureboots.
You can conjure a whole set of armor, but individually.
So boots. Which brings me onto my next
(10:54):
spell. Which?
I think is helmet. Bound gauntlets, when am I not
going to have gauntlets on? Be like about to get into battle
and be like, you know what, I should bound boots.
Bound gauntlets, by the way, by the way, they only last 60
seconds and then they disappear.So you could be mid fight
(11:16):
fighting someone with your bootson boots and then all of a
sudden, thank God there's no broken glass.
You hope not because 60 seconds could be out.
Oh no my Oh my, shoot my shoes gone.
Oh, why is it only for 60? Seconds.
What if you, like, save someone off a Cliff and then you and
your gauntlets disappear and they just fall?
Oh shit. Oh, bound me up a parachute,
(11:38):
Bound parachute ladder. I don't, I don't know that
spell. That must be apprentice level.
I'm still novice. I bound a hat and then take it
off and like, shake your head like, oh man.
Bound hat. Bound hat.
Yeah, just to take it off and shake it, man, that's a tribute
to him. Oh my God, that's so bad.
Why would you ever need a bound armour?
(11:59):
I don't know, that sucks. I mean I think you can unlock
bounding for a full set of armour later on, but.
For 60 seconds, For a minute. That sucks.
Yeah, I don't like that. That's.
But when are you gonna be combating for just a minute?
Yeah, just a minute at a time. My next worst oblivion spell.
Yeah, in the top five worst oblivion spells.
Snowball, snowball, snowball is a spell.
(12:21):
There's a spell. Snowball does like 10 frost
damage. You're hurling a snowball at
somebody. There's no Nobody has ever died
from a snowball in the. History.
Have you seen Elf? Have you seen Elf?
He throws those snowballs prettyhigh.
Those kids didn't get back up maybe like.
Ice ball I would make. Sense Snowball, Snowball.
(12:41):
That's dumb. Oh, it's a Minotaur.
Quick cast snowball. Why?
Why'd you do that, dude? He just starts laughing.
You just have a snowball fight ball.
Five of the minutes or. Like it's bad.
What kind of a spell is that? That is not even worth reading.
The time to learn in the. Yeah, yeah.
Why? What's there has to be a no, no,
there's just a snowball. It's just a snowball, yeah.
(13:03):
Almost cast snowball. It gets pretty cold Melbourne.
Almost as bad as frost touch where you've just, you've got to
get up to him. He's touched me and got cold
hands. He freezes.
You. Never should have come here and
then you just. Touch it and he's like, oh.
Fuck, that's. Uncomfortable.
You got cold hands. Dude, warm those things up.
Jeez. Have you heard of hot Touch?
Like come on man, that that's a terrible spell in itself, but
(13:26):
that's not on the list. That's bad.
My next worst spell from Oblivion, Summon Ghost.
Summon Ghost, Yeah. Why?
Why would you want to bring someone back from the dead?
Does. It fight for you.
No, it's just I. It could depends what ghost you
summon I guess. Yes, you're basically haunting
(13:46):
your own place. What if he never leaves summon
ghosts and he's like, you know, I actually do have some.
Unfinished business. Now that I think about it, I
might just stick around for a little.
Bit no, I just. Can you not fight for me?
And he's like, I, I don't know you.
What? What?
So what it what does it do? You talk to him.
Like what's the purpose in the game?
I think it's just fine. Just a ghost that hangs around.
(14:07):
Yeah, right. It's just Moaning Myrtle.
Just. Goes Chinese fire dragon it's.
Always back to that guy. Yeah, I don't know.
It's. Moaning Myrtle.
That's suck 'cause. What?
What if it never leaves? Yeah.
Summon ghosts and then just sticks around it goes.
He's. So annoying, can't even carry
anything, can't even carry your you know your weapons and stuff.
It's a ghost. It sucks it.
(14:29):
Gets summoned and, you know, like, how usually like a
poltergeist is like a ghost withunfinished business.
Yeah, It, it's business is done.You summon it and it's like, all
right, well, I, I guess I'll, I guess I'll head back to the
other plane now. And you're like, yeah, no
worries, man. He's like, oh, by the way,
how's, how's my wife? How's my wife doing?
(14:51):
Oh, she remarried. Really.
Wow, you don't. You're my.
Wife, so I got to. Yeah, I've been dead like 3
months. So I got to stand around now.
She's remarried. Where did she live?
And then just. And then now, OK, well now I got
to dude. No, I just, I just wanted you
here for 60 seconds. Just help me with.
That like, but you remember like, do I leave the stove on?
Just has to hang around. Oh shit.
(15:12):
Actually, maybe I do have some unfinished business here, now
that I think about it. So dummy just hangs around,
you're like fuck. Yeah.
Holy Ghost I've got to fucking worry about.
My last oblivion spell that I have an issue with clairvoyance.
Really. What dude real like
clairvoyance. Oh, let me just think Oh, I
(15:35):
think I actually have to turn left at this next.
I'm sorry, at this next intersection here when I.
Was like 16 you were made first playing Skyrim.
I was constantly using that spell making sure I was like, I
had like lost anxiety. The only time I could see me
using clairvoyance is if I lost my phone.
Yeah. Oh.
Where's my phone? Oh yeah, it's right there.
But I've got to Find My iPhone. I don't need that.
(15:57):
I don't need clairvoyne. That's fair.
That's a good one, Accio. Accio.
Accio Phone. How about you just bring a map?
Yeah? Oh, let me just use my magical
spell to. Oh, so there's just a compass at
the top that points you exactly where you need to go?
I think. I think it's a silly spell.
I used it a lot my first scar inplaythrough which was so dumb
because the dungeons aren't hardto get through.
In Oblivion, I understand it. But you know what?
(16:19):
Skyrim? Come on, man.
Just you don't need. You don't need.
Yeah, Here are some honourable mentions for worst Oblivion
spells. Yeah, minor detect life.
What is? What does that do?
So it just like highlights anybody that's around you, but
minor detect live it's like 60 feet.
So it's basically like. You can see right in front of
you. Yeah, there's no, there's no
(16:40):
reality where you'd be like, well, let's see if anyone's
around here and then just illuminates people right in
front. Of me and you're like, I'm over
here. Oh hey, hey man.
Oh OK, that I kinda know that makes.
Yeah, that actually makes sense.I can actually see you.
Yeah, well, I'm glad it works. At least I mean.
If you got does it work through walls?
If you got yeah it. Does OK, that's kind of cool if
you look. At that pretty poor eyesight I
(17:00):
could see you using Minor, minortech life.
My other one, minor wound. Minor boom, what's that do?
I think it's like septum sempra,but it's a minor wound, so it's
like a paper cut. That might be annoying.
You'd be battling somebody. Paper cut in the middle of their
fingers. Like fucker, that's a minor
wound paper cut. Right in my inner.
Thigh like I'm chafing now my toes.
(17:23):
I cast minor chafing. Oh fuck, chafed nipples.
Oh this shirt. Why do I have a rough spin?
Courteous. On now.
Oh, it's so like irritating on my.
Skin I need some band aids. My nipples.
I cast minor chafing on the thighs.
Oh man, ingrown toenails. That would suck.
(17:46):
Yes, you can hear girl. You know that nose like like
Wolfman toes himself. Oh no.
Ingrown toenails. Stubbed toe.
God, there's nothing to stub it on, but I somehow scrubbed it.
Double damage because I had an ingrown toenail.
Funny bone hit funny bone, Curseof minor hit funny bone.
That kind of hurts. It's kind of really annoying.
(18:08):
What do I feel like laughing a little?
Bit bit your tongue. No minor bite of tongue.
Yeah, it just sucks. Anything minor is just a
terrible. Spell.
What's the point of? Anything that says minor, I stay
away from it. That's why that's my rule of
thumb. And you know what?
And I think that, and I think that's pretty good.
That's a great rule of thumb. And I think we just end the
(18:30):
segment here on that one. I think Quizzard for the Wizard,
it's James if you had from shitsand Goose podcast.
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Excludes restaurants. I thought it'd be fun to play
(19:58):
the newly Wizard game instead ofNewlywed.
I actually call it Newlywizz. Oh.
I like. That newlywizz.
Game Newly Wizard. Game new newly wizard game.
So what? Basically I've got 6 questions
here. 3 for you, 3 for me, 03 for each of us.
So it's like 3 will. Be about you.
About me 3 will be about you. OK, very good.
(20:19):
I've really, I, you know how hard it is to write questions
and then not answer them in yourhead.
I've wrote a question down like I was going to answer that saver
for the pod. I was like trying to not to
think about the question I just wrote, you know?
What I mean not. Answer.
How do you not answer a question?
That's what I was trying to do last night yeah, yeah.
So I've got I've got 3 here so basically what we're going to do
is I'm going to read it out and then we're both going to write
our one word answers on the whiteboards.
(20:39):
OK, spin them around at the sametime and.
We're trying to get the same answer.
So we're trying to answer what we think the other person's
going to answer. OK, OK, it's going to be hard
for me because I've got this microphone in my hand, but I'll
try my best. OK, first, first question.
Jackson can only cast one Harry Potter spell for the rest of his
life. Oh, OK.
What spell would he choose? Oh shit, that's a good question.
(21:02):
It is a good question. Oh I actually don't know.
There's so many great spells that you could choose like
insert spell here or yeah, that's good, insert spell here.
I just, I'm trying to, I don't want to give anything away when
I'm going to write. I'm trying to figure out how to
spell the spell I'm thinking. Yeah, me too.
I'm trying to like sound it out.I don't.
(21:26):
I don't think that's how you spell it, but I'll I'll say.
Maybe. OK, Are you ready?
Are we going to reveal them to the camera but also to us at the
same time? Yep.
So I think you spin it first andthen yeah.
OK, all right, so the spell thatI would think I would like for
the rest of my life. Akio.
Bro Akio, I got Akio as well. Let's go home.
Do we spell it the same or we? Did.
(21:48):
Oh, OK, maybe that is how you spell it.
Or maybe we're just both. Really caught up on camera good.
I don't think so. No, not at all.
The exposure's just like. So yeah, I thought I'd be the
guys. Anyway, you're all through
Accio. All right, we both got Accio.
Damn, that's pretty good. OK.
I mean, it was either that or like, oh God.
I was thinking like when Guardian Leviosa be kind of
sick, like being able to telekinesis flip things.
(22:11):
Like, I thought that'd be kind of cool.
Akeo everything. Akeo phone.
Akeo fucking me to that fridge. I don't know.
Yeah, that'd be kind of cool. Is.
That a thing? Can you like put just?
I guess that's, well, that'd be teleporting.
Well, the teleporting won't be sick, but I don't know what
that's. Called.
Is that a spell? I think you just learn it.
Yeah, you just, I guess it is your.
Head. What?
What's that called? Yeah.
(22:33):
You would think divination. Divination.
But that's what it apparition thinks.
Apparation. Oh yeah, that sounds right.
That would be cool. Like the Death Eater, like and
like a trailer, black smoke is always following you.
That would be sick. Smoke alarms go off constantly.
Every time you act, go into somebody's like, fly around.
This next one If Mitchell could be any villain in any movie, who
(22:55):
would it be? Now I.
Villain in any movie. What kind of question?
You already have an answer I. Actually don't.
I did this last night. I'm like fuck and I still have.
Villain in any movie. There's so many.
I mean, James Bond there's. I'm trying to think of villains,
I guess Marvel movies. There's villains.
I'm. I'm struggling to be.
(23:17):
I don't. Know if you would.
I don't know if you'd be like something like Thanos or
anything like that. That seems it's kind of weird.
Yeah. Thanos is also bald, which just.
Yeah. Who do I, who who, what villain
do I most? Probably that guy from James
Bond with the eye patch that cries blood.
He has to do. He has to do that.
(23:38):
The mad miggle and black. Yeah, I've been seen a.
Royale, who beats James Bond with a knotted rope.
Yeah, beats his nuts in. The nuts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be me.
I like. The crazy torture method, like
of all the torture you could do,yeah.
Cut the hole in the chair bro, it's so rough.
He's he's like pre thought this out.
Like it's not even like a improvtorture.
(24:00):
He's like, yeah, I really want to, I really want to capture
someone to be sick. Cut the bottom out of a chair.
I need to make sure, I need to make sure it's a chair that has
like a mesh, like cut through. Like can't have a wooden chair.
There's no way board a chair. That's there's no way.
After being nutted. It sounds like a grey mush in
that ball sack. Yeah, I guess so.
(24:21):
I honestly don't know this answer, I'm just going to write
the first thing that came to my head.
OK, I don't even know. I don't even know.
His name? It's it's not a James Bond
villain, is it? OK, let me think.
If you get this, we write the. Same thing.
I don't even know. I don't want to.
(24:41):
I don't want to. I could easily look at what
you're writing right now, but I don't.
I don't want to give it away. I just I can't remember his name
so I just wrote. OK, you don't remember his.
Name like what he is and what franchise is a part of if that
helps. OK, I don't think I got this.
What did you write? That's pretty good.
No, I wrote Fire Guy from X-Men.I can't remember the game.
(25:03):
Oh, what the fuck? Pyro.
Pyro now? I don't know.
I just. That's the first thing I
thought. Man, I would have said like
Magneto. Is the pyro guy's cool?
That would be actually. He gets his ass kicked by a
fucking Iceman though. He's.
Supposed to be like one of the most powerful fire mutants.
Fire guy allegedly. I didn't.
Even think of that, that sick. Yeah, so, OK, I thought a Death
(25:24):
Eater just because I thought youwere like, you know, you are a
little bit racist. So, so you're a little bit what,
a little bit of a. Supremacist, that's what you.
Think a wizard supremacist. That's crazy, Dan.
That was a tough one because I didn't think I wrote that.
And I thought, oh, I'll just think of it tomorrow.
And I just could not think of it.
Like damn it, why did I do that?This next one's good.
(25:45):
If Jackson was damned to crew the Flying Dutchman from the
Pirates of Caribbean movie trilogy.
Yeah. Trilogy.
Yeah, we don't. Can.
You know, the other two don't matter.
Yeah. What fish head would he have
that? Fucking sucks.
What do you mean? That's a.
Sink question, but I just mean like, that means I have to have
a fish head. Oh yeah, yeah, that's sucks.
Yeah. What kind of?
Fish you've joined it like pre will Turner because if you were
(26:08):
part of will Turner you wouldn'tbe right I.
Definitely don't want to be the bloatfish guy or the hammerhead
guy 'cause they're both. They're both so.
Rough. Oh, what kind of head would I
have? I don't know.
Like octopus is just kind of. Goated.
That's why octopus is goated. But I'm going to say you can't
do octopus. Yeah, I don't think I can do
Davy Jones's octopus head because it's so useful.
(26:29):
You have so many hands you can grab.
It's kind of, it's kind of luckyhe got that.
Honestly imagine if he got like.That snake 1 He can't follow a
captain with a snake head. Like that was like the crawfish
then like the. It'll come to me.
Come over to me. Come over to me.
No, no. Burn my voice.
Burn my voice. You don't want to be the hammer
crab guy. The hammer crab.
(26:49):
Captain. Oh man, that's.
Tough, tough question. I don't know.
I don't wait for you to think once and then I can think about.
I'm also like, I don't know thatmuch aquatic life.
I know that's what I'm worried. About too meets a a good head.
Yeah, maybe like does. It have to be a fish can be like
a mammal. Oh, I got.
I think that's kind of shit, butI'll give I'm going to write it
down. A mammal?
(27:10):
Don't say whale. Not mammal, no.
I was like going to be. I was like kill a whale.
No, I won't be that. I got 1.
OK, you got one? Yeah, OK.
I'm still thinking of 1 and go. I'll turn mine around this time
first I think. OK, hopefully.
I feel like people aren't going to say it.
I wrote croc like like a crocodile.
Damn. That's actually so.
You'd be like kill a croc then. God damn, that's way cooler than
(27:33):
what I wrote, Croc. I wrote.
I wrote a dolphin but I couldn'tthink of.
I couldn't think of like. Dolphin is the most least
threatening. Fucking.
That's the noise you make when you're stabbing someone, like
from Psycho. And people could just cover my
blowhole and I'd just die like dolphin.
(27:54):
Oh my God, I'd lose my mind if Isaw a dolphin on the Davy Jones.
Look at that's hilarious. Do you fear of death?
I don't know. Dolphins are pretty vicious.
Yeah, I mean that one Simpsons episode.
I mean, that's kind of scary. Dolphins.
Dolphins are known to to murder.That's why you chose that.
(28:14):
Yeah, they pull people under andthey like, drown on the dolphins
sometimes. They like, they'll like
purposely like hold them down and stuff.
Then they do a certain thing forfun as well.
They do like some bad things forfun.
They. Do some bad things for fun,
yeah. I think they're too smart.
That's the problem. It's kind of scary.
Damn, that's a good one. Yeah, Dolphin's hilarious.
OK, I like this next one. I'm really happy.
(28:35):
I I I cooked with this next question.
OK, OK, OK. If Mitch was a playable
character in an RPG and he had 20 skill points to use in these
three skills, I'd write these down with you.
Wait, what? OK, OK.
Yeah. Charisma, OK, Intelligence, OK,
and strength. Oh, OK.
What would be his base you have?20.
(28:57):
Points. I have 20 points So what would
be his base stats? OK.
So this is real. Life too, and you have to spend
all 20. All 20.
I was going to give myself 10, but then I felt that.
I'd have to give you wow. Giving you ones in one thing
would mean I have to give you a lot in another.
Well maybe you don't have to spend all 20 but one.
Come on bro, I'm not. I've got a bit of.
(29:19):
Breeze. OK, all right, all right, all
right. I can do this.
I can do this, I reckon. All right, I reckon if we have
to distribute it. OK.
Oh, fuck. I just gave up all, all, every
point. All right, Yeah.
I was like, I'm not good at mathand right now.
There's no shot we get this exactly right. 2020 divisible by
(29:40):
three. I'm going to do some math here.
He's. Going to give me what do you
call it the balance between each?
3 so I can divide it 776 okay I think.
It's too much. It's too much in one.
I've gotta change it. Okay, I think that's pretty
good. Maybe.
Does that add up? I don't think that adds up.
(30:01):
I think I've done my math wrong,yeah.
So have I, I've had way too manypoints.
Yeah, I'm gonna do that. I think that's good.
Brain teas are a little bit likeI had to, Yeah, OK.
I did white. I was gonna do 10 and then I was
like, I don't want to give myself like 3 and strength or
you know, yeah, yeah. OK, so you read yours out first
and so. OK, so for Charisma, yeah, I
(30:23):
gave you. 7/7 for Charisma. OK, I gave myself 6 for
charisma. OK.
OK. Well, and then for intelligence,
I gave you 8. I gave myself 4.
Oh, OK, well. Well, like how you say.
Me. Yeah, I thought I was
definitely. I gave myself 10 for strength.
I thought I was definitely stronger.
No, and I gave you 5 for. Stronger strength, but you think
my Christmas and we. We go rock climbing a lot.
(30:46):
I say I was rough. I, I, I think now I feel, I
don't know, now I feel bad because I called you weak.
Basically. I don't.
Know, you know what's actually hilarious?
So the one that you put the weakest in, I put the highest
in, and the one that I put the lowest in, you put the highest
in. Damn, I guess I also like kind
of thought what I value so I'm like what?
(31:08):
Would. What would be fair as well?
Like I feel like. That's kind of funny.
I don't know, I wouldn't want togive you like a one in
intelligence because that's justcalling you stupid.
Like I don't think you're bored at all.
So, yeah, OK, Well, that's pretty.
That was good. That's a pretty good.
It's interesting how division see myself and you see me.
Yeah, well, there you go. See yourself as really strong
(31:30):
for some. Reason which 10.
'S kind of crazy. I don't know.
There's no indication that's giving you.
I don't. Know why I decided 10?
Bro the absolute goal to put 10 for strength, yeah.
Do you like that question? I was so happy with that
question. I thought I cooked so hard with
that question. Yeah, yeah.
(31:52):
If Jackson was a playable character in RPG, OK, what would
his starting class be? Oh, OK, and what, what classes
have we got? I haven't got I haven't written
down classes I just left it up to.
I was thinking more like Skyrim type vibes, like D&D, you know
what I mean? Like, yeah, you're generic like.
Oh, OK, but this is this is I feel like we got to set some
(32:12):
rules for like what to select because there's like, you know,
you could be like a spell Slinger, like you can have like
sword and spells you could be, or do we just want to hit it
with like mage? I think it's, I think we go just
bass. Mage, thief, warrior.
Warrior. Yeah, OK.
OK. Yep.
All right. I.
Think I know the answer to this.Oh, really?
(32:34):
Yeah. OK, this OK.
OK, this might be a bit controversial.
I don't know why my spelling is terrible and I don't know why I
chose to do a writing do a writing segment.
OK. All right.
You ready? Yeah, I did, Archer.
Oh. Fuck, that's actually so much
better, because that's actually what I yeah, that's probably.
What? I was sure that's what it was.
He's kind of tying together. I chose Thief.
(32:54):
Oh yeah, yeah. OK, so like the stealth.
Stealth faith. Yeah, sorry, I guess.
Stealth Archer. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. I think I would be an Archer.
I was actually pretty good at archery back in the day.
Yeah, I used. To I used to go, I used to arch
I. Was an arch.
Yeah, I used to arch sometimes. Yeah, damn.
Because. I used to hold up bridges.
Wizards are cool, don't get me wrong.
(33:16):
Yeah, I am a wizard, but Wizardsare cool.
But the whole Manor? We're already a wizard.
We've got to play outside, you know what I mean?
That's very true, you know, and managing your, your, your well
of manner and stuff is quite irritating sometimes.
Sometimes I just wish I could bea really stealthy guy that
shoots people from the shadows. Yeah, I agree.
(33:37):
It's kind of the. Easiest way to play.
I got one more OK, if Mitch was a candle scent, what scent would
he be? Shit probably poo.
Probably. What's that?
What's that? Gwyneth Paltrow one, Probably,
yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina, That
(33:57):
one. Yeah.
I think it would be that. That's fucked.
I don't. I don't know.
You're already writing and I haven't.
I don't even know. I have no idea.
I don't even know how to spell this.
I'm just going to spell check this too, just to make sure I
don't make a fool of myself. Although saying I had to spell
check it might in itself be making a fool of me.
(34:18):
Damn, I was so close, so close, so double N.
You said it had double N in it. Not a single one of my words
has. Double N Oh, that's not good.
I did. I did orange and sandalwood.
Oh, that's actually. That's what that would smell
like, man. Sandal.
Well, I don't Yeah. I don't know about the
combination of orange and. Stuff, I don't know, I reckon
it's nice. I reckon it'd be kind of fire.
(34:38):
I said cinnamon. Oh, that's not bad actually.
I can see that. I don't know.
That's not bad at all, yeah. That's just the first thing
that. Popped.
Yeah, maybe cinnamon and sandal would be better.
That would actually go pretty. I reckon I might change it to
that. There's probably a candle out
there that is cinnamon. And have you Heard?
Travis Barker's candle. It's like, it's like a Sorry,
what? Oh, you got a chalkboard?
(35:00):
I just rubbed my nails down it. Have you heard Travis Barker's?
It's like, it's like concrete after a stormy winter or
something. It's like crazy.
Some guy like melted that candle.
Into a desk? Yeah, I saw that as well.
Which I'm like why would I? But then the you can only use
that candle once. Yeah, I know.
(35:22):
And then it's done. And then you've got a table with
an empty candle wax in it. Yeah, yeah.
Weird. Cool concept.
I mean, not that Travis Bark would probably ever light that
candle either because he's so rich.
He'd be like, Oh yeah, cool, thanks for the table.
I put it in my 7th house. Like, yeah, that'll be great on
Airbnb. Cool people are going to love
that in my blink 182 themed Airbnb.
(35:44):
Yeah, like what does what does aman?
This is what pisses me off aboutcelebrities sometimes with like
getting stuff, getting stuff forfree.
And like people make these like YouTube views where they're
like, I built this for this celebrity and I'm like, the guy
has millions. I'll I'll be honest, it's so
cool. Like it is really cool and it's
(36:05):
super custom personalized. Let's be honest guys, never
going to fucking. Use that.
Is he going to sit down on that desk?
I want to see a photo of or video or just something of
Travis Scott sitting at that desk and writing a song.
When, when people are like, I just, I made a custom pair of
Nike Air Forces for this celebrity, that guy's never
going to wear those shoes straight up.
I mean, they might be. Cool to like playpiece, Yeah,
(36:26):
yeah. The guy's so rich.
Yeah. He's he's probably got a Banksy
in his house that you know, like, I don't know, you watch
these videos and you're like, damn, that is really.
Eats up a Banksy. Yeah, you're like, the craft is
really cool and it's they're cool videos.
But then you you get into the weeds of like, are they really
going to? Yeah, they're actually really
going to use that. I probably, I mean, I reckon
(36:47):
maybe, maybe. Have you thought of one for me?
Can you get you get a question off the top you have for this?
Oh for fuck. You put me on the spot, do you?
I just wrote a bunch of questions like do you ever wrote
them for me? All right, I might have one.
I don't have a OK fair enough. Well good, I gotta think of 1.
Let's just pick a random word. OK, I've picked work.
(37:08):
Work it in OK. OK, let me try and see if I can
mentally translate it to you. I'm getting nothing.
Damn, I got to work on my telekinesis.
I'm going to. I don't.
Know you got to work on your clairvoyance, man.
You were the guy who said you'd cast it all the time.
OK, OK. What did you get?
I wrote over as in like the podsover.
(37:30):
I wrote Excalibur. Not exactly.
Maybe I should have wrote Wait, hang on a second.
I wrote podcast. Oh, whoa.
Podcast over. Damn, that's great.
We're on the same. That's crazy.
We're on the same page right there because they wouldn't even
know if that says Excalibur or Podcast.
Excalibur. There's no shot.
(37:51):
I'm going to think of Excalibur.I don't know.
God damn it, I thought. We're on the same page.
If you really did, if you reallydid marry me, we would have got
the same answer. You would have known I wrote
Excalibur, actually. Calibur.
Yeah, it's funny. Fuck.
Well, that's all the time we have on the Wizards Tower.
If you'd like to reach the Wizards, you can send her now to
(38:12):
the Wizards Tower pod@gmail.com,and you can also follow us on
Instagram and TikTok, whatever the hell that is.
Anyway, don't forget to grab your hat, grab your star, and
we'll see you on the next episode of The Wizard's Tower.
(38:38):
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Location The lab Quinton only has 24 hours to sell his car.
(39:22):
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What is this, a movie trailer? He ignores the doubters, enters
his license plate. Wow, that's a great offer.
The car is sold, but will Carvana pick it up in time?
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