June 4, 2025 • 48 mins
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mintmobile.com. Dude, just in the new Harry
Potter casting. Oh, don't even get me started.
That whole Snape business just. RIP.
(01:27):
No. What?
Like Harry? Ron.
What? Snape.
What? Are you angry?
Oh. What's wrong with Harry, Ron and
Hermione? Well, they they got cast and
what are you? What are you talking about,
Snake? I don't.
I don't know. What were you saying?
Oh, sorry. No, I don't even.
Care. I don't know.
No, I'm just upset 'cause we didn't even get offered the
role. Like I could have played a Ron.
Oh yeah. I could play a 12 year old kid.
Well, yeah, easy bro. You can be.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, with a little bit
(01:49):
of makeup and CGI, maybe. Probably.
What do you mean? Like what?
Like to age me up. Yeah.
No, yeah, I could play 12. I was worried about my opinion,
now I'm now I'm starting to think maybe your opinion's
worse. I could play a 12 year old.
I don't understand what you're saying.
I don't know what. You're saying?
(02:10):
Yeah. Well, welcome back to the
Wizard's Tower. The Wizard's Tower.
I just want to, I want to start this pod off with just a bit of
like house cleaning, OK? A bit of like, you know, what's
(02:33):
the word? House cleaning.
House cleaning, I don't know. I don't know what.
Else, right. So Jackson, you do the dishes,
I'm going to do the vacuuming. And then we'll be back and then
we'll come back to the pod in about 20 minutes.
No. So we posted a couple of shorts
over our last couple of pods. Yes, we've been getting so much
like height on it, which has been kind of hilarious.
(02:55):
I've sort of been like laughing about it.
But also I'm like, come on, guy,we're just having a bit of.
You know, but that's just what people do.
It's crazy. It's like people just people
just love to have a bit of a superiority complex over, you
know, like it's like if they think they know something you
don't know, they they wanna, they wanna let you know that
you're a fucking, I don't think.I've ever, ever I've commented
(03:18):
on a few things, but it's never hate who has the energy.
I don't know. I don't, I don't get an.
I'm like. Someone watches the whole.
It's crazy. Clip through and then gets
angry. I think it's annoyed at that.
And then like, you don't even know us.
The clips in question are like Xgroups from when we were talking
about top five worst spells. Yeah, Oblivion spells, Yeah,
yeah. Like being like Oh yeah, like
(03:39):
top five worst oblivion spell. Like I don't even know what it
was. Some in gauntlets or?
Some in gauntlets and everyone'slike actually you can put the
spells all together and make a full suit like what you're
talking about. No, you idiot.
Actually, no, actually it's a really good spell actually.
So. Funny.
It's like, OK, guys, relax. We're just having a laugh.
(03:59):
Yeah. Anyway, it was.
Really, it was. Not about how how absurd of a
concept that is to summon individual spell parts.
They're like, yeah, they clearlydon't know that you can
actually, there's actually a spell that you can like combine
all them and you can summon themat the same.
Time My favorite is 1 dude's like no hate guys, but actually
a fish like a dolphin isn't a fish and needs a crocodile
because we're like picking what,all the pirates in the
(04:21):
Caribbean? Yeah.
We're picking like I was like, oh, did Jackson like, oh, if you
were in the the pirates Caribbean ship, you know, Debbie
Jones ship, what head would you have?
And I wrote crocodile and he wrote dolphin and everyone's
like, well, actually they're notfish.
I'm like, yeah, but they're in the sea.
Like crocodiles have fought great whites.
They're in the you know what I mean, Like, who cares?
Well. I don't know.
(04:43):
Octopus isn't a fish either, really.
Isn't he a lobster? Is a crusade a crust crustacean?
Crustacean, you know, Yeah, thateel.
I don't think an eel is a fish. Is an eel a fish?
Lives in the sea. Like just relax bro.
Anyway, I wanna get that off my chest 'cause I was like, they
just just chill out for a minute.
But I mean it also helps engagement.
And it does. We've got.
We want to use some. Really fucked.
(05:03):
Opinions. That's a good point actually.
Actually, I think Skyrim shit Yeah, that Skyrim is bad
actually. Top five worst games in the
world Skyrim. Breath of the Wild.
Breath of the Wild Just attack every.
Single F1 Forza, I don't know yeah, just attack every like
FIFA, FIFA and then probably League of Legends just oh, and
(05:23):
wow, of course. Wow, yeah, Overwatch Mama, I was
up there for shitness. Oh yeah, absolutely.
Going up to every single. Eldon Ring, it was too high.
No, that was shit as well. The whole Dark Souls franchise
shit shit as yeah. Don't get me started on CS GO.
Oh. Man, if I have to see another
(05:46):
game of the year like Boulders Gate, another shit game like
Boulders Gate 3, I'm going to bepissed off.
When is Call of Duty going to get Game of the Year again?
Guys, whatever happened to Pong?Just like in the worst opinions,
yeah anyway, I just want to likerant about that for two seconds.
Probably could have been Wizard Wrath, but.
(06:06):
Fair enough, Harry, if we can just slap it the fuck down.
Slap. Oh, there it is.
Yeah. And then I have my brother's
house warming on Saturday. Yeah.
And that was really funny. Like, I didn't know what I was
walking into. I was kind of a bit worried that
it was gonna be like, you know, a bunch of house, a house
warming. I thought it was gonna be,
really, I was. Really worried if I was gonna be
walking into a warm house. I don't know what to expect.
(06:27):
I had my shorts on. Was it a house?
Was it an apartment? I brought my beach bowl out.
I didn't realize it was inside. Like, I thought it was gonna be
warm. Yeah.
And I was like, I walked in thinking like all that.
Like they started about midday and I got home about four.
I'm like, I've had about four hours of drink and it's gonna
be, there's gonna be some sloppypeople around, you know what I
mean? Yeah, yeah.
I walk in. They're all in there, you know,
(06:48):
mid 30s, early 30s, drinking redwine, watching the footies, like
just doing nothing. I walk in.
How you going? Everyone like, yeah, what's
going on? And then I come downstairs and
like, yeah, so how often do you have to flip your mattress?
And I just started laughing. I was like, what is happening?
I'm like, oh, you meant to do itlike this, this and this.
And they're like, yeah, you know, flipping the mattress is
really important. I was so shit.
(07:09):
And I was like, what am I? What do I got to look forward
to? It was so funny.
But you know what? And that's that's really when
you start having fun. Yeah, this superficial drinking
getting all sloshed and just drunk bullshit.
Yeah, bullshit, bro. You know that's not fun.
Let's talk about flipping mattresses.
I'm trying to think the other thing that's going down the
brass all. That OK, How often do you really
(07:31):
need your car seat exactly? OK.
What's what's the best physio around in the area?
It was really funny because all the, all the partners were all
pregnant too. So they're all like, they're
like, like, like, you know, just, you know, nine months
pregnant, just half asleep on the couch.
Oh my, just wanting to go, you know what I mean?
It's just horrifying, that part of life.
(07:52):
That's, you know, that's, that'sreally scary.
I know, I know. I was kind of like, well, I've
got this to look forward to whenI turned 30.
I think Matthew's like 32 so. I I think that's going to be
scary is when everyone around mestarts having kids.
There's been a few people that have had kids and I'm like,
yeah, I mean, that's fair. But like you guys have been
together for like fucking 10 years.
Like it makes sense. Or like, Oh yeah.
(08:12):
But that's what you've always wanted to do.
It's going to be scary when you know, if, if I'm like 3030,
whatever, and everyone around mehas had a kid.
And if I haven't, I'll be like. Yeah, this is ticking.
This is. Weird.
This is weird. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know. Anyway, it's just really funny
to, like, see the future. And it's like all of Matt's
mates, you know, who I've drank with in the past and who I've
(08:33):
seen absolutely ridiculous in the past.
Yeah. And this time they're all just,
yeah, drinking their red wine. Home by 8:00, in bed by 9.
Like, it's just so funny. Matthew now uses mate.
Was it mouth tape? Oh really?
Sleeps and shit. So all his mates to give him
shit about that. And then one of his mates is
also using ear plugs and an eye mask and was like yeah, sleeps
really important. No, he's like, what is
happening? Eye mask is actually going.
(08:54):
Yeah, it's so funny. That reminds me of I actually
worked with this Australian icon.
Oh yeah, the barley moped guy. Oh yeah, sorry.
There was this like. Pretty old clip now.
Yeah, to explain to the audience.
Yeah, sorry. So this is the conversation
between us. There's a third there's. 1/3
listener. I know So what I don't.
I don't know why. I know who he is.
(09:15):
So you can just keep going with this.
OK, yeah, so the barley moped guy, this if you literally look
up barley moped guy, it comes up.
But like, there was this clip that went viral years ago and it
was, it was. I'm just laughing thinking.
That's a good clip. It was like a news thing.
And there there was a guy, a news presenter in Bali talking.
(09:35):
And then this guy that I work with pulls up like behind this
dude. And the interviewer goes, are
you, are you right to drive? And he goes, oh, fuck no, I'm
fucking blind, I'm blind. And then just drives off on his
little moped. And it got so big, so famous.
And then it turns out I ended upworking with him.
Yeah. And he, he was definitely not as
(09:58):
loose as that. He's like kind of settling down,
but he was still pretty like loose when you go drinking with
him. Anyway, I run into him a few
years later, like after I'd stopped working with him.
Full family man now, like completely calmed down, you
know, like still drinks a littlebit, but not like not too crazy.
To get fucking blast. Yeah, like very, very chill.
Like got a kid now, just like super, not that man anymore.
(10:23):
Yeah. And it's just crazy to.
Get old man to get older. It's it's called just maturing
in real life. Maybe drinking all the time and
getting fucked up is. Isn't not the.
Best thing to. Do but yeah, it was quite like,
you know, they started at 12 andeveryone was home by 6:37 and I
was like sitting there, I had about four beers, like just
hanging out with them. And I was like, I just turned to
one of Matt's, Matt's mates and I just go shit, this is what I
(10:46):
got to look forward to. And he goes, Yep, pretty much.
And then they finished, went home and I was like, see, it's
actually quite nice. I don't know.
It was kind of cool. I can't wait.
It was it was a quiet night. It was nice.
I actually can't wait. It's Jason Fuhart from Shits and
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(12:11):
mintmobile.com. Keeping on the theme of the last
few weeks, I'm going to talk about five more spells that piss
off. OK, let's go all.
Right, This is this is the top five worst Skyrim spells.
Number one, one of the worst Skyrim spells.
(12:32):
I don't even know why it's a thing in the game.
Oak flesh, oak flesh, oak flesh.You cast a spell and I'm
assuming I guess your skin turnsto oak like the the hardness of
wood. And look, I can't think of any
scenario where I need that except 1 and it is not in a
combat situation. I don't need anything going as
(12:53):
hard as wood. Laugh or death about that.
Situation a band that comes up to you right and give us your
money I've been waiting to use this spell just.
Turn into a tree. Oh fuck.
Well, I can't exactly Rob. Him like, do I chop him down?
Tries to get into your pockets and they just.
Bark. He's like, oh, fuck, why you
(13:14):
SAP? It's all SAP.
Oh. Man, well, don't touch that
bridge. Oh, don't touch that branch too
much. Why you're just frozen?
Like a tray the whole time. Imagine you're not trues.
I imagine trying to fight somebody and then you cast oak
flesh and just get real stiff, right?
That's I've been waiting for this oak flesh.
(13:35):
Oh. Shit, fuck.
I'm just moving real, real slow.Hang on a second.
I can't see this scenario where that's.
Good, that's. Good.
It's only, you know, outclassed in shitness by stone flesh.
This is where you cast it in. I guess you turn into a stone,
yeah. You turn into like the thing
(13:55):
from Fantastic Four, basically, except in the the Fantastic Four
remake, where it's actually justreally horrific.
Yeah, when he turns that rock. He's just stuck as a rock.
He's. Like, that's like a horror
movie. Yeah, that's scary.
And that actually was like a horror movie that the remake.
I watched it recently and I was like what the fuck?
(14:17):
Half the movie is just horrifically like talking about
their superpowers when they can't control them.
Like all mates on fire 24/7. The stretch dude can't unstretch
himself. It's like a body horror for
Melissa. Anyway.
Spell #2 That I think is so shitin Skyrim.
(14:37):
Go on, water breathing. Water.
Breathing and you might, yeah. OK, Controversial hear.
Me out. Interesting.
Water breathing? Great.
In theory. Oh yeah, I can breathe
underwater. In practice, you can't cast it
underwater. I'm not even kidding.
You literally cannot cast water breathing underwater.
So what? You have to cast it before you
get underwater? That's you.
(14:57):
Have to have the pre planning oflike or I'm going underwater.
What if you spawn a cast? Yeah.
And then I'm going to do a little dive.
What if you spontaneously get some for some reason get thrown
underwater? You can't cast it.
You're going to be on dry land to to cast.
It can you cast any spell underwater?
I guess not I. Don't think so.
I think, wow, Yeah, I don't knowwhy that is.
(15:17):
That sucks. Literally that's so.
Pointless. You're on what?
You're like fuck, it's actually pretty deep cave.
Well, I guess I'm dead, I think.I can know a spell for this.
Also there's so many helmets that have water breathing in
champions. Yeah, yeah.
So just do just. You know, yeah.
Just use like a straw and just have it sticking out the that's
(15:38):
what I'd do, a little snorkel. Conjure up a straw.
Fuck that's so good. That's 100 scuba gear.
That's what water The potion of water breeding, actually.
Is. It's like bound gauntlet, bound
scuba gear. That'd be sick.
My third one. You know, last week I was
talking about the worst Oblivionspells and I mentioned Detect
(16:01):
Life being a bad spell. Yes, well Skyrim has a spell
called Detect Dead, and I think that might be even more useless
than Detect Life. Why?
I I think it's, I don't know. Is it like used for like Like
you can't use them against the? What is it?
(16:22):
The dragger or whatever? I think it's like detecting the
dead, so then you can like use anecromancy spell to like
resurrect a dead person. He just killed her, but I can't.
Yeah, I can't imagine a world where I'm like, right,
everybody's dead now. Detect.
Just make sure. All right?
Yeah, all these bodies are dead.Like I don't know a reality
(16:44):
where I'm like, just want to make sure.
You just don't trust that you'relike fucking, I don't know,
someone's died and you're like. Yeah, you're sneaking around.
You're like better detect dead just to make sure everyone's
dead. Honey, you're home or no, you
better detect dead. What the hell?
Oh, it's my sleeping or yeah, yeah, it's dumb.
I'm trying to think of like whenthat would be applied.
I just, I'm just picturing a funeral where you just don't
(17:05):
trust whoever died. You're like, I just got to
double check here because holy shit.
Lucky it's come up. Detect life Nothing's coming up
I. Detect.
Yeah, OK, good, good. Yeah, it'd be worse if you
thought you were casting Detect Life and you're like, oh,
there's no one around here and then you go into the a cave and
there's just a fuck ton of people because you've cast the
wrong spell. You thought you were going to
(17:26):
detect dead? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So that's that's number three,
number four, number four on worst Skyrim spells light the
spell light. OK.
Very similar to Lumos, except it's you.
You send an orb of light, yes that is, and it doesn't follow
(17:46):
you, it just sticks to wherever.You send it and it just stays
there. It should follow you.
Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, I'm using that.
I think that's Mage Light. That follows you.
OK, that's a good one. But you just got light.
But light, light is a spell where you just go and then it
sticks the wall. But you're moving through these
caves so quick. When are you really going?
Well, I better set up a a light.Yeah, to be able to, like,
(18:10):
explore this entire cave. Like I'm I'm not gonna sit down
and have a snack for lunch. In The Cave, no.
But remember in Harry Potter, when he does it in the the whole
Crocs, he like flicks it over orDumbledore.
Yeah, Dumbledore does it. That's kind of good.
See that was. Good, but the caves are never
that big in Skyrim. And the light doesn't emit that.
Yeah, right. He goes.
(18:31):
And then the lights up the wholething.
Cave lights up, no in. Skyrim it's literally like fuck
all. Small all yeah, of light.
And if you shoot it too high up,then it just it just keeps
going. It just keeps going from turns.
Into the I said the sun was made.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that I think that's just a
terrible spell just in general. Speaking of like shooting things
into the the light, into the sun.
(18:53):
There's actually a an arrow thatyou get in the the Dawnguard DLC
and if you shoot it into the sun, the sun like fucking
explodes or something. It's like an Easter egg.
It's. Crazy.
That's cool. Yeah, it's like a whole like
chain reaction thing. Pretty cool.
That is cool. And there's also a Dwema cave
where if you shoot one of those arrows, I think into like a
(19:14):
light chandelier, like a dragon comes out of it.
Holy shit, yeah. It's some cool stuff.
Anyway, yeah, I'm getting sidetracked.
DLC #5 on this is in no particular order #5 on the worst
Skyrim spells, Telekinesis. Yeah, What does that do?
I don't even know. You just, you just float
objects. I don't think I I think I think
(19:37):
I had telekinesis in one of the other lists, but it is still
equally as bad in in this list. Because when do you ever need to
use it? When am I?
When am I ever floating stuff? Yeah, and you can also pick up a
lot of stuff in Skyrim. Well, and the whole thing is I'm
like, OK, maybe if I had telekinesis, I could like, float
a cheese wheel over or float a sword over and then steal it.
(19:59):
Yeah, but if they catch you using telekinesis, floating
their stuff, they just arrest you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's no, but I was thinking like, 'cause
Skyrim's like puzzles are prettyshit.
They're kind of just like, matchthis with that and then you've
opened the door. They got 3 puzzles in the whole
game, yeah. Yeah, Golden Claw, Look at its
hand open. Door.
No. This one's the.
Ruby Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's so. What puzzle is this Ruby Claw?
(20:20):
Maybe you just spam it, you'll eventually get it like it
doesn't matter, but why wouldn'tthey involve telekinesers into
the you know what I mean? That'd be cool.
Yeah, like some. Sort of like a yeah, yeah, it's
like pull. I'm pulling a like I can't reach
that leave. And maybe I can use telekinesh?
That would be cool. Well there's there's like a the
only time I could see using it is there's like soul gems that
(20:41):
shoot fire at you if you knock them off.
They stop. You can just use a shout to
like. Even putting a bucket on
someone's head to steal that shit, but you can just grab the
bucket and put it on their head.Like, it's not like it's a.
Yeah, it just just it. Just sucks.
It's a bad spell. It's a bad spell.
But I definitely think oak fleshis the worst oak flesh.
(21:01):
Is is haunting? Turning into an actual tree
would be pretty hilarious. Oh, help me now.
What are you gonna do? This is.
So much more painful than I thought it would.
Be robbers coming to your house and you just turn into a tree
and they just start stealing you.
Stop. Stop that.
What are you doing? Wait, this lasts for 60 seconds.
Stop stealing my shit. Oh.
Shit, I better I better I betterhide turns into a tree and then
(21:23):
just watches them rob. And rob everything.
I can't move. No, no, get away from that.
Stop that. 60 seconds on the clock, we got 60 seconds.
He's a tree. He's a tree for 60.
Seconds take everything I don't.Know why we thought this was a
good spell to make? It's fucking funny.
Familiar. Familiar or fraud.
(21:46):
All right, we've done this once before, and it is where I gather
some mythical creatures that mayyou might not have heard of.
I read you out a little blurb about them and you have to guess
if they're actual real creaturesor I made them up.
Yep. Yep.
OK. 2 Truths and a lie. 3 Truthsand a lie.
This time you've done 4. I think I did that last time as
(22:09):
well. Even some of them might be
pretty obvious. OK that they're real.
You'll be like. Wagon definitely.
A. Unicorn.
A Unicorn. A mythical creature shaped like
a horse with a giant protruding.Horn on What the hell is that?
Yes. You couldn't have made that up,
(22:30):
no. Way.
There's no way at all. OK #1 All right, the OK how to
figure out, Yeah, I gotta figureout which order I do these in.
Got to remember how to pronouncethe made-up name.
I just thought, yeah. All right, here we go #1 the
Melgen. The Melgen.
(22:52):
The Melgen. Is a creature with origins in
Tartarian mythology. They were often depicted as 3
foot tall with a lizard tail anda white beard.
Interesting. Being active only at night, they
would steal children if they were.
If they left the window open, OK.
Just the window. If the window was left open in
(23:13):
your house, yeah. Does it if the door was open?
They didn't. No, if the door is open, you're
all right, you're all right. But if the window's.
Blah, we got you they. Go through the window.
Their existence was first mentioned in the mythological
folk tale Melgon Mucus that depicted a man who made a deal
with a treacherous Melgon for the King's riches.
OK, so. The Melgon, All right.
(23:35):
Yep, that's number one, the Melgon.
All right #2 is the Amarok similar to the Amaranth?
Famous. Famous.
Similar. To the amaranth.
Just describe Amaranth the Amarok like the the famous.
(23:56):
Car. It's a car I guess, similar to
the Amaranth, a Twitch streamline.
Often depicted as a woman with red hair, This so the Amarok, a
creature with origins in Inuit religion.
It's a gigantic wolf, said to stalk and devour any person
(24:19):
foolish enough to hunt alone at night.
That's cool. Unlike wolves who hunt in packs,
Amarox. Hunt alone, lone wolf.
Yeah, I relate. OK, Me and the wolf with this
wolf may have got a lot of common.
The The myth most likely originated from the tale of
ancient Inuit told about direwolves.
(24:39):
So that's number two, OK. Big wolf, little goblin snakes
in you through your window. OK, both of both of so far I'm
not getting anything. OK, they both feel like legit.
#3 the acrobua mellow. Oh fuck me, please, please God,
(25:01):
don't let this be the one that you may have because that is
terrible name. Akrabua Mullen.
Yeah, the the Akrabua mellow. You're just looking around your
room for like, words to put together.
No, no, no Acrabua. Mellow.
OK. I feel like yeah, OK.
(25:22):
A creature with origins in Mesopotamia.
Mythology. Legend and folklore all kind of
the same thing. Yeah, legend and folklore.
In particular, accounts of theirexistence first originate in the
Babylonian creature myth known as Enuma Elish.
Oh. OK, as well as the Babylonian
version of the Epic of Gilgamesh.
(25:44):
They're a humanoid. What?
Oh this is just so funny becauseit said myth, folklore, legend.
It's turned to legend and legend.
Turn to folklore, but there was 1 What's what's the name of it?
What's the name of this thing again?
(26:04):
The Acra Bourmelo. But there was one Acra Bourmelo
that was deceived. Myth turned to legend and
legend. In the fives of acra bulmar.
Until one day it was found by the most unlikeliest of
creatures and Aqua Boumelo. OK, so let's get on with it.
(26:26):
They're they're a humanoid from the waist up, but from the waist
down, it's the body of that of abeast.
And the beast in question is so.Hard.
It's a. Scorpion.
It's a big giant cock. It's got a giant cock.
It's just so hard. It's just a chicken.
It's a giant cock. The the waist up like a Centaur
(26:50):
and then just a chicken cock. No, it is.
It's a. Scorpion.
Oh. Oh, OK, that's cool.
Yeah, I think that's legit. Full scorpion body and
everything and then from the waist up to.
I feel like I've, I feel like I've heard of this.
Before like the rock from the Mummy too.
Yes, that's what I'm thinking, the rock CGI.
Really bad CGI. Yeah, OK.
(27:10):
And #4 is a Pontiac. Pontiac.
I've probably pronounced that wrong, although maybe I
pronounced it right because I might have made.
This up, I made this one up it's.
It's a dangerous spirit of a woman from Malay and Indonesian
(27:32):
mythology. They are the ghosts of women who
died during childbirth, and theyare known as vampiric ghosts,
OK? They're active at night, and
during the day they reside inside banana trees.
OK. That's a weird deal.
So random. Random.
That was random, They locate. They locate their prey by
(27:54):
sniffing clothes that are left out to dry.
They kill their victims by digging their sharp nails into
their stomach and devouring their organs.
OK, they usually announce their presence through baby's cries.
All these are. Smart enough detail.
It's said that if the city is loud or if the cry is loud,
(28:15):
she's far away, but if the cry is soft then she's nearby.
They're described as pale skin with long hair and they dress in
white. They also have long, sharp nails
and in an awful stench, they smell real bad.
Real, real bad. All that banana, Yeah, stink
like banana. All that potassium, that's
tough, bro. All these are really good.
I'm feeling. I'm feeling it's the big wolf
(28:36):
that you made-up. But I'm also like the.
Amarok. Yeah, the Amarok.
The Jeep Amarok. That's that's what I'm thinking.
But all of them are really good.All of them are.
You've done it again. Last time it was so hard and the
only reason I got it was becauseyou said.
Yeah, the Idris. Idris, yeah, Idris Alba, Idris
(28:57):
Alba, which was really good. So Idris.
Yeah. Tough man, tough.
So there was the the dude who come through the windows.
Yep. And stealed kids.
See, I feel like that feels legit.
The Melgen. The Melgen and then the giant
wolf. The lone wolf.
The Amarok. The Amarok.
And then, yeah, that whatever that thing is.
(29:19):
The scorpion guy. Yeah, you love the mummy, which
gives me a maybe maybe you've just like, but that seems like
that name is like insane. Yeah, then and then the like the
the witch vamp vampiric chick. Yeah.
I'm going to say it's the giant wolf that you made-up.
I don't think I think you made that.
Up the Amora. Yeah, man, you are.
You're wrong. You're wrong.
(29:41):
That's a real thing. Yeah.
Yeah. No, that's a real thing.
What one did you make up? You tell me, what do you think?
You just got to keep guessing. Yeah, Fuck, that's tough.
Go the scorpion. The Scorpion, the.
Scorpion is real as well. The scorpion is real.
Damn man. I don't know if I could make
that up because. Is it the third?
(30:02):
Yeah. Depicted.
Yeah, true. Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah. And so is a giant wolf.
Yeah. So is it the little lizard dude
with the tail and the mid the melgon?
God wow, I made-up the the Melgon damn is not a real
mythical creature. That seems obvious now, because
a giant wolf is a thing. We see it in Thor Ragnarok,
whatever that you know. Yeah.
(30:22):
Yeah. And we see Thor hammer rock.
Thor, Hammer Rock. Yeah, the Melgon, a three foot
tall creature with a lizard tailand a white beard.
Yeah, that's good. Damn, it seems so obvious now
that I think literally a ghost, a scorpion, you know, half
scorpion man, a giant wolf, and then just a weird little gremlin
(30:44):
thing. Like I could have worked that
out so easily. Oh my God.
So. Clearly a small dwarf with a
tail like just a known a known with a.
Tail obvious now. What is a tail?
Oh my God, that was dumb. And I basically just took a bit
of like Rumble Stiltskin. But yeah, the, the I thought was
actually quite interesting. The a Pontiac, I think, I don't
(31:06):
know if that's how you say it, but that's a real thing.
And apparently in Malay culture,that's why they don't hang their
clothes out to dry at night, at night time.
It's like a superstition thing. They don't hang out at night
because it might attract. The Pontiac.
Isn't that a car as well? Pontiac.
Pontiac. Yeah, yeah.
So what? Kind of car.
That's like a car without a likea.
(31:27):
Isn't that a car? The Pontiac?
Yeah, It's not a Pontiac. It's a Pontiac.
OK, that sounds like a Pontiac one.
Syllable difference. I definitely pronounce it wrong.
There's no way it's called a Pontiac.
Of course that was good Ford Pontiac.
You didn't. A pregnant woman.
They named this car after a pregnant woman that died, that
(31:47):
died during childbirth. Yeah.
That was good. Did it again.
Did it again. Hold on.
Apprentice inquired. Mccrispy strips are now at
McDonald's. Tender, juicy and its own sauce.
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(32:32):
Not available in all states I. Want to end this podcast with an
e-mail that one of our listenerssent in?
OK Yeah. All right.
Please. Comes in from Magic Carp.
Dude, Actually, I might get you to read it.
Why? Because I feel like you could
put on a good voice for it. And also there's some words in
(32:54):
there that I might not be able. To all right, hang on, do I have
AI don't have an echo hang on, maybe I do have.
An echo? Sort something out mate.
Great purveyors of the mystical odds.
My homunculus was doing some scrying on the old orb when we
came across a rather odd IMDb pool.
(33:17):
That is of course, IMDb the. The movie search engine.
Search engine? Yeah, it has all the movies on
it. Obviously stands for Image Movie
Database. Correct.
I don't know, I have no idea image that might be good.
Actually, I don't even think about what IMD stands for.
Course of the capsicing, which featured some specific names of
(33:39):
practitioners I think you might have heard of.
I wonder if you could talk aboutit a bit.
Love. Let me just Scroll down to the
Love the podcast. I would also love tips to keep
my homunculus from developing A lust for bloodshed.
It's been getting a dangerous glint in its eyes recently.
(34:00):
Sincerely, an amateur dog. Oh.
Yeah, great question. Well, do you want to answer the
homunculus question first? Oh, just.
It's gonna lean into it. It's just got a blood loss.
Yeah. There's no way you can control
it. No.
Yeah. You gotta put them down or you
gotta feed them a small creature.
Yeah, a Melgon would actually bea good a good piece of food.
(34:24):
For it actually it's a great point little 3 foot yeah lizard
yeah yeah it's melgon occasion catch one of them show their.
Blood. Their blood.
Loss. Just have a child leave the
window open. Homunculus in there.
Yeah, you'll sort of just pretend like you.
Dress it up as a little. Yeah, like a monster's thing.
Like pretend it's a little kid in the bed and.
Then we've got to steal it. The monkey list would jump on
it. Yeah.
(34:44):
Nice. That's great.
Yeah. Yeah.
Little dummy in the monkey list.Dress it up.
Yeah. Perfect.
Yeah. Well, yeah.
And then the second part. I don't think we've ever talked
about capsicing on the podcast before.
Maybe maybe we've mentioned it. I.
Don't think we have no. I'll start.
I'll do a bit of hand on, OK. The worst way to tell a?
Story I love handball and I hatethat.
OK, go on. So basically when we were in
(35:05):
Brisbane, we started film school.
It was towards the end of our film school.
They have this 48 hour film challenge where you're going to
make a short film 5 minutes longin about 48 hours.
It starts on like Friday. About 48 hours.
Spot on about. Something about about around 48
hours for the 48 hour Film Festival. 48 hour they call it
the 47 to 48 roundabout hour Film Festival.
(35:26):
We got hours in 46 hours, so we did pretty well.
We. Did we actually?
Yeah, So, yeah. So yeah, you gotta do a yeah,
you gotta make a short film in 48 hours and you, you got a
phrase you have to put in there.You got a character's name and
you got a genre you have to do, and also you have to have it
revolving around a prop you. Didn't have to have a revolving
(35:48):
around a prop you need to include.
Include a prop and we decided tofocus all our energy on the prop
and the prop was a capsicum or abell pepper for our
international listeners. Yeah, that's right.
And then? OK, so.
That's a handball, by the way. So it all starts at 7:00 PM, it
all kicks off. Everyone has to meet at the same
hall and everyone was on the Gold Coast, which is about an
(36:11):
hour away from Brisbane, which is where the hall was.
So I was in charge of going to the place to, to get our genre
and all that stuff. And there's a bunch of ping pong
balls and they throw them at youand it's like a, you draw a
random genre. And so we ended up getting a
horror movie, and then we had toinclude one character, which was
(36:34):
like a fucking news reporter. And then we had to include a
capsicum and we had to include one line.
I can't even remember what the line was.
But and then everyone gets all of that and everyone just gets a
different genre. And then you go away and 48
hours later on the Sunday at 7:00 PM, you need to submit it
before them. Then a finished film, 5 to 7
(36:56):
minute film. So I'm driving.
I, I give you guys the topics and you guys start
brainstorming. I'm driving back to the Gold
Coast and I'm like, oh boy, I hope.
They hope. They come up with something.
And then I get to this place, everyone's, there's a big
fucking a three board. Everyone's starting to talk
about like, what was the idea? Or maybe it could be a, a killer
(37:19):
that leaves capsicum slices on the eyes or something like that,
Like a detective killer. Yeah.
And I was like, Oh yeah, what ifwe just do like, kind of like
the gremlins, but it's like a capsicum, you know, you can't
get it wet or it'll multiply. Yeah.
And then that's what we did. Like, yeah, it's not like, yeah,
like 2 hours of like trying to color something and then yeah,
(37:40):
you walk in with the capsicum being the the killer and then we
just ran with that, yeah. And so.
That was that's the premise is basically, yeah, it's a
capsicum. If you get a wet, it'll
multiply. You got to eat it before it.
Eats you yeah which was that gotta.
Eat it before it eats you. And then so we're so then
everyone sort of went away and we started like trying to figure
(38:01):
out locations and everything andwe all sort of split up into
teams and then me, Jackson, another boy.
And then the director stayed andwe're writing it.
And then we'll realize that if it's going to be like gremlins,
we're just going to punch it full of jokes.
So it went from like this horrorto a comedy horror and now it's
just a it was a full blown comedy.
(38:23):
Yeah, I mean, it can't. Be horror.
Yeah, it can't be horror for sure.
Yeah, you know, like most horrors are kind of comedies.
Yeah, yeah, I think so. So yeah, it's just punch with
full of jokes. Me and just had like we were
basically acting out the entire script while another lab was
just typing it all down. Yeah, and I wasn't going to be
involved because I was shooting my final film for film school
(38:45):
the the next weekend. So I was like, I'm not getting
involved. I don't want to be there.
I'll come and write and then I'mdone.
And then I ended up being written in and I started and I
was the actor in one of them. Because we had the Capsy King,
so the movie's called Curse of the Capsy King.
And. We were like, who's going to
play the Capsy King? And the whole time we were
interact, making up the story, while we were talking, you kept
(39:06):
doing the voice and stuff. And we were like, well, there's
there's one guy that already knows the lines.
I don't want to do the impression.
And then yeah, so I fully got roped into doing it.
And then I actually got nominated for the whole like as
best actor for for the whole thing, which is fucking
hilarious as. Well, you won't do it at all.
Yeah, ended up Yeah, getting nominated for Best Actor.
(39:26):
It was a lot of fun. That was a really fun 48 hours.
Out of the seven awards, we got nominated for five.
Yeah, yeah, it did really well. And we won best director and we
won best I've. Got title screen best.
Best graphics? Best graphics?
Yeah, title car was pretty good too.
Neat. Yeah.
(39:47):
So we wrote it on the first night, ended up going to sleep
at like, fuck, like 4:00 AM, Yeah.
And then we were going to film during the day.
And then. But because with the way we'd
written it, it kind of had to befilmed at night.
So we ended up waiting around all day.
We tried to. We ended up filming at my house.
So my parents let us film. So Jackson drove from Brisbane
down to Gold Coast to to give usthis golden idea and then we all
(40:10):
got in everyone's cars and droveback from the Gold Coast up to
Brisbane to film at Jackson's parents place.
Yeah. And then, yeah, they everyone
tried to like, black out the windows to like, pretend it was
not. It did not work.
Didn't work. So we had to wait around all
day. Yeah.
And meanwhile, our director thought it'd be a good idea to
stay up the whole 48 hours. Yeah.
So he was up all day. Just smashing Red Bulls.
(40:31):
Smashing Red Bulls all day and then it finally gets to night
time and I was the cinematographer as well and then
we started filming, finished like it was really fun filming.
The whole thing wrapped at about3:00 AM.
Yeah. 3:00 AM the next Yeah. Yeah, our director had fallen
asleep about. Three while directing, right.
Yeah, I remember I was like, yeah, right.
What's next? He's just, he's just sleep on
the counter. Like OK, cool.
(40:53):
All right, all right. So then we get that finished,
film it, finish it at about 3:00AM, and then the next morning I
wake up at about 8:00 AM and I spend the whole day editing.
The entire thing we're like looking up like sound effects
and sending them to. Yeah.
Jackson was definitely the MVP. He kept it going.
He kept it structured. Everyone was kind of like, like
when you're on a movie set, everyone sort of like breaks and
(41:14):
starts like making jokes. And it's like, it's fun to make
a movie, but if you don't have like direction or you don't have
like someone like steering the ship, it can definitely like.
Gets very. Aimless, get very aimless and
like what are we doing next? Oh yeah, we should do that.
Oh we need that. And then it gets very like
setups take a while. Jackson was very like he did all
handheld and everything. So definitely the MVP of it.
But I got nominated, so yeah, that's.
(41:36):
True, that's true. I got nominated for best
graphics, Yeah, which kind of pissed me off because I didn't
even do the. Graphics, you shouldn't say that
they like, come and take that office.
Yeah, best graphics I got nominated for.
We actually got a guy that worked on a Disney Plus film he
didn't do the graphics for. Us he didn't like, like fucking
not even an hour. And they were very good.
They were sick. And well, I took that anyway.
(41:59):
I took that award. I'll.
Take that, let's take that. I think best director is
basically basically like a team effort.
Yeah, an award. Anyway, so and, and our director
got up there and basically just said it was, you know, it was
everyone part. It was really, it was really
good. Yeah, so we won.
Yeah. Best graphics, best director.
We got nominated for best film, best supporting actor and then
(42:22):
it was something out. Like, I think we got best,
right? Like screenplay or whatever.
Yeah, maybe. Yeah.
And I think. I think the film's great.
I think it is. Up until maybe like the last
minute it falls apart. We sort of there were some lines
in there I didn't really like. There's a couple of jokes that
weren't great. And then we, I remember we
finished the whole thing. We're like thought of a way
(42:43):
better end. And we're like, fuck, we should
have done that. That would have been so much
better. Yeah, because we want it because
we want it to be ranked because you can't get the capsicum wet.
So we didn't want like we was. And then we wanted, like to look
out at Jackson's pool and then lightning strikes and there's
just capsicums everywhere. But we couldn't do that because
we just didn't. We thought about it after the
fact and it was daytime and we're editing, so we just like,
(43:03):
had a look outside and the rain's coming down and then the
movie ends. Like to be continued.
But we wish we just had this nice.
Yeah, the. Capsicums.
There. The capsicum, Yeah.
Yeah, we look and with this skill that I have now, I'm like,
that would have been such an easy shot to do now that I know
about it. But at the time we were like,
oh, we should have bought more capsicums and there's the whole
(43:25):
thing. But yeah, that was, that's the.
Capsicum and it's on YouTube. I might even link it in the
description of the pod if peoplewant to go check it out.
We're pretty proud of it. I think it's the best thing we
did in that films, like our final films are pretty solid.
But this was like the most fun Ithink I had at film school, and
it wasn't a part of film school,but.
Yeah, it was just an extra curricular thing.
(43:45):
And then we ended up trying to upload it to the website and it
wouldn't work and there was two hours.
If you submit it after the 48 hours, that's it.
It doesn't. Count.
It doesn't count, Yeah. So we had like 2 hours left when
uploading it. Uploading it kept not working.
We're like fuck. And so we got on Ausb and had to
drive out to the actual venue, and luckily they were there and
we had to hand it to them beforethe 48 hours.
(44:08):
And then this fucking guy that Iwas giving it to, he was like,
oh, yeah, cool. Like uploading.
He's like, oh, yeah, So what, what did you do for it?
And I was like, oh, I sort of helped write and then I filmed
it and then I edited it. And he's like, oh, one of those.
Yeah, yeah. And I was like one of those
guys. I was like, like, what the
person has to do? Fucking yeah.
I was like, yeah, maybe because there's nobody else that was
going to do it. Like, what do you mean?
(44:30):
Yeah, I was. I was that guy.
We weren't even meant like, yeah, we sort of just got not
roped into it, but we kind of just like stumbled into it.
I wasn't you. You did it and then you're like,
oh, do you want to do it with me?
I was like, yeah, right. I yeah.
We didn't really sign up knowingwhat it was going to be.
And it was full on and it was a lot of fun.
I'm glad we did it really good. For 48 hours, like I think if we
redid it, we could do it so muchbetter.
(44:50):
So much. Better.
So much better, so much quicker and now we know what the end
result we'd be able to redo it so much better, but in 48 hours
it's not bad. It's pretty good for 48 hours.
Yeah, it's pretty good. It's not bad.
The people that won had a reallycool special effect when their
head turned into a capsicum. And that was crazy.
I was like damn. And it was just like a split
(45:10):
second and the eyes like popped and like the capsicum like
screamed because he was on this like capsicum acid trip type
vibe. It's very Midsummer.
Yeah, mid Midsummer type vibe and yeah, they they smashed and
they were cool dudes too. They were really good.
When I when they won, I was like, yeah, it was so fair.
Like it was really good. It was a really great film.
Yeah, good experience. If anyone has a 48 hour Film
(45:30):
Festival in their city or whatever and they're into film,
get a team together and I recommend doing it because it's
crazy. Like to think, you know, 48
hours before that we had nothingand then it 48 hours later we
have a tangible film that we have forever that we've just
made in like a 5 minute film. Fuck it.
Yeah. And then like after we made it,
your mum's getting all all her friends come round like, oh,
(45:52):
show them the 48 hour film thing.
Yeah. And then and your mum's friends
were watching it and they were laughing and having a good time.
And then I went back home. Mum did it with my aunties and
stuff. Show all the aunties your 48
film silence. No one that it was.
It destroyed me. It was so rough.
I was standing there like sucks.Yeah, that's a joke, by the way.
It's like, feel free to laugh like.
Yeah, oh, there's some good moments, but I think the last
(46:15):
minute is what makes me not wantto show it to people because
it's quite, quite vulgar. Yeah, it's a bit of.
Kind of language in it. And I was like, we're better.
We could have done so much better than that.
But I, yeah, anyway, I'd fallen asleep by that point.
So it's not not on me, not on me.
I was. I was asleep.
I I don't know how it got past. I don't know how it got past me.
Anyways, yeah, that was the Capsi King.
(46:40):
Worth a watch. I'll put it in the description.
Well, that's all the time we have on the Wizards Tower.
If you'd like to reach the Wizards, you can send her now to
the Wizards Tower pod@gmail.com and you can also follow us on
Instagram and TikTok. Whatever the hell that is.
Anyway, don't forget to grab your hat, grab your star, and
(47:01):
we'll see you on the next episode.
Of the Wizards Tower. The new Mccrispy strip is here.
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mintmobile.com. Dude, just in the new Harry
Potter casting. Oh, don't even get me started.
That whole Snape business just. RIP.
(01:27):
No. What?
Like Harry? Ron.
What? Snape.
What? Are you angry?
Oh. What's wrong with Harry, Ron and
Hermione? Well, they they got cast and
what are you? What are you talking about,
Snake? I don't.
I don't know. What were you saying?
Oh, sorry. No, I don't even.
Care. I don't know.
No, I'm just upset 'cause we didn't even get offered the
role. Like I could have played a Ron.
Oh yeah. I could play a 12 year old kid.
Well, yeah, easy bro. You can be.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, with a little bit
(01:49):
of makeup and CGI, maybe. Probably.
What do you mean? Like what?
Like to age me up. Yeah.
No, yeah, I could play 12. I was worried about my opinion,
now I'm now I'm starting to think maybe your opinion's
worse. I could play a 12 year old.
I don't understand what you're saying.
I don't know what. You're saying?
(02:10):
Yeah. Well, welcome back to the
Wizard's Tower. The Wizard's Tower.
I just want to, I want to start this pod off with just a bit of
like house cleaning, OK? A bit of like, you know, what's
(02:33):
the word? House cleaning.
House cleaning, I don't know. I don't know what.
Else, right. So Jackson, you do the dishes,
I'm going to do the vacuuming. And then we'll be back and then
we'll come back to the pod in about 20 minutes.
No. So we posted a couple of shorts
over our last couple of pods. Yes, we've been getting so much
like height on it, which has been kind of hilarious.
(02:55):
I've sort of been like laughing about it.
But also I'm like, come on, guy,we're just having a bit of.
You know, but that's just what people do.
It's crazy. It's like people just people
just love to have a bit of a superiority complex over, you
know, like it's like if they think they know something you
don't know, they they wanna, they wanna let you know that
you're a fucking, I don't think.I've ever, ever I've commented
(03:18):
on a few things, but it's never hate who has the energy.
I don't know. I don't, I don't get an.
I'm like. Someone watches the whole.
It's crazy. Clip through and then gets
angry. I think it's annoyed at that.
And then like, you don't even know us.
The clips in question are like Xgroups from when we were talking
about top five worst spells. Yeah, Oblivion spells, Yeah,
yeah. Like being like Oh yeah, like
(03:39):
top five worst oblivion spell. Like I don't even know what it
was. Some in gauntlets or?
Some in gauntlets and everyone'slike actually you can put the
spells all together and make a full suit like what you're
talking about. No, you idiot.
Actually, no, actually it's a really good spell actually.
So. Funny.
It's like, OK, guys, relax. We're just having a laugh.
(03:59):
Yeah. Anyway, it was.
Really, it was. Not about how how absurd of a
concept that is to summon individual spell parts.
They're like, yeah, they clearlydon't know that you can
actually, there's actually a spell that you can like combine
all them and you can summon themat the same.
Time My favorite is 1 dude's like no hate guys, but actually
a fish like a dolphin isn't a fish and needs a crocodile
because we're like picking what,all the pirates in the
(04:21):
Caribbean? Yeah.
We're picking like I was like, oh, did Jackson like, oh, if you
were in the the pirates Caribbean ship, you know, Debbie
Jones ship, what head would you have?
And I wrote crocodile and he wrote dolphin and everyone's
like, well, actually they're notfish.
I'm like, yeah, but they're in the sea.
Like crocodiles have fought great whites.
They're in the you know what I mean, Like, who cares?
Well. I don't know.
(04:43):
Octopus isn't a fish either, really.
Isn't he a lobster? Is a crusade a crust crustacean?
Crustacean, you know, Yeah, thateel.
I don't think an eel is a fish. Is an eel a fish?
Lives in the sea. Like just relax bro.
Anyway, I wanna get that off my chest 'cause I was like, they
just just chill out for a minute.
But I mean it also helps engagement.
And it does. We've got.
We want to use some. Really fucked.
(05:03):
Opinions. That's a good point actually.
Actually, I think Skyrim shit Yeah, that Skyrim is bad
actually. Top five worst games in the
world Skyrim. Breath of the Wild.
Breath of the Wild Just attack every.
Single F1 Forza, I don't know yeah, just attack every like
FIFA, FIFA and then probably League of Legends just oh, and
(05:23):
wow, of course. Wow, yeah, Overwatch Mama, I was
up there for shitness. Oh yeah, absolutely.
Going up to every single. Eldon Ring, it was too high.
No, that was shit as well. The whole Dark Souls franchise
shit shit as yeah. Don't get me started on CS GO.
Oh. Man, if I have to see another
(05:46):
game of the year like Boulders Gate, another shit game like
Boulders Gate 3, I'm going to bepissed off.
When is Call of Duty going to get Game of the Year again?
Guys, whatever happened to Pong?Just like in the worst opinions,
yeah anyway, I just want to likerant about that for two seconds.
Probably could have been Wizard Wrath, but.
(06:06):
Fair enough, Harry, if we can just slap it the fuck down.
Slap. Oh, there it is.
Yeah. And then I have my brother's
house warming on Saturday. Yeah.
And that was really funny. Like, I didn't know what I was
walking into. I was kind of a bit worried that
it was gonna be like, you know, a bunch of house, a house
warming. I thought it was gonna be,
really, I was. Really worried if I was gonna be
walking into a warm house. I don't know what to expect.
(06:27):
I had my shorts on. Was it a house?
Was it an apartment? I brought my beach bowl out.
I didn't realize it was inside. Like, I thought it was gonna be
warm. Yeah.
And I was like, I walked in thinking like all that.
Like they started about midday and I got home about four.
I'm like, I've had about four hours of drink and it's gonna
be, there's gonna be some sloppypeople around, you know what I
mean? Yeah, yeah.
I walk in. They're all in there, you know,
(06:48):
mid 30s, early 30s, drinking redwine, watching the footies, like
just doing nothing. I walk in.
How you going? Everyone like, yeah, what's
going on? And then I come downstairs and
like, yeah, so how often do you have to flip your mattress?
And I just started laughing. I was like, what is happening?
I'm like, oh, you meant to do itlike this, this and this.
And they're like, yeah, you know, flipping the mattress is
really important. I was so shit.
(07:09):
And I was like, what am I? What do I got to look forward
to? It was so funny.
But you know what? And that's that's really when
you start having fun. Yeah, this superficial drinking
getting all sloshed and just drunk bullshit.
Yeah, bullshit, bro. You know that's not fun.
Let's talk about flipping mattresses.
I'm trying to think the other thing that's going down the
brass all. That OK, How often do you really
(07:31):
need your car seat exactly? OK.
What's what's the best physio around in the area?
It was really funny because all the, all the partners were all
pregnant too. So they're all like, they're
like, like, like, you know, just, you know, nine months
pregnant, just half asleep on the couch.
Oh my, just wanting to go, you know what I mean?
It's just horrifying, that part of life.
(07:52):
That's, you know, that's, that'sreally scary.
I know, I know. I was kind of like, well, I've
got this to look forward to whenI turned 30.
I think Matthew's like 32 so. I I think that's going to be
scary is when everyone around mestarts having kids.
There's been a few people that have had kids and I'm like,
yeah, I mean, that's fair. But like you guys have been
together for like fucking 10 years.
Like it makes sense. Or like, Oh yeah.
(08:12):
But that's what you've always wanted to do.
It's going to be scary when you know, if, if I'm like 3030,
whatever, and everyone around mehas had a kid.
And if I haven't, I'll be like. Yeah, this is ticking.
This is. Weird.
This is weird. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know. Anyway, it's just really funny
to, like, see the future. And it's like all of Matt's
mates, you know, who I've drank with in the past and who I've
(08:33):
seen absolutely ridiculous in the past.
Yeah. And this time they're all just,
yeah, drinking their red wine. Home by 8:00, in bed by 9.
Like, it's just so funny. Matthew now uses mate.
Was it mouth tape? Oh really?
Sleeps and shit. So all his mates to give him
shit about that. And then one of his mates is
also using ear plugs and an eye mask and was like yeah, sleeps
really important. No, he's like, what is
happening? Eye mask is actually going.
(08:54):
Yeah, it's so funny. That reminds me of I actually
worked with this Australian icon.
Oh yeah, the barley moped guy. Oh yeah, sorry.
There was this like. Pretty old clip now.
Yeah, to explain to the audience.
Yeah, sorry. So this is the conversation
between us. There's a third there's. 1/3
listener. I know So what I don't.
I don't know why. I know who he is.
(09:15):
So you can just keep going with this.
OK, yeah, so the barley moped guy, this if you literally look
up barley moped guy, it comes up.
But like, there was this clip that went viral years ago and it
was, it was. I'm just laughing thinking.
That's a good clip. It was like a news thing.
And there there was a guy, a news presenter in Bali talking.
(09:35):
And then this guy that I work with pulls up like behind this
dude. And the interviewer goes, are
you, are you right to drive? And he goes, oh, fuck no, I'm
fucking blind, I'm blind. And then just drives off on his
little moped. And it got so big, so famous.
And then it turns out I ended upworking with him.
Yeah. And he, he was definitely not as
(09:58):
loose as that. He's like kind of settling down,
but he was still pretty like loose when you go drinking with
him. Anyway, I run into him a few
years later, like after I'd stopped working with him.
Full family man now, like completely calmed down, you
know, like still drinks a littlebit, but not like not too crazy.
To get fucking blast. Yeah, like very, very chill.
Like got a kid now, just like super, not that man anymore.
(10:23):
Yeah. And it's just crazy to.
Get old man to get older. It's it's called just maturing
in real life. Maybe drinking all the time and
getting fucked up is. Isn't not the.
Best thing to. Do but yeah, it was quite like,
you know, they started at 12 andeveryone was home by 6:37 and I
was like sitting there, I had about four beers, like just
hanging out with them. And I was like, I just turned to
one of Matt's, Matt's mates and I just go shit, this is what I
(10:46):
got to look forward to. And he goes, Yep, pretty much.
And then they finished, went home and I was like, see, it's
actually quite nice. I don't know.
It was kind of cool. I can't wait.
It was it was a quiet night. It was nice.
I actually can't wait. It's Jason Fuhart from Shits and
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(12:11):
mintmobile.com. Keeping on the theme of the last
few weeks, I'm going to talk about five more spells that piss
off. OK, let's go all.
Right, This is this is the top five worst Skyrim spells.
Number one, one of the worst Skyrim spells.
(12:32):
I don't even know why it's a thing in the game.
Oak flesh, oak flesh, oak flesh.You cast a spell and I'm
assuming I guess your skin turnsto oak like the the hardness of
wood. And look, I can't think of any
scenario where I need that except 1 and it is not in a
combat situation. I don't need anything going as
(12:53):
hard as wood. Laugh or death about that.
Situation a band that comes up to you right and give us your
money I've been waiting to use this spell just.
Turn into a tree. Oh fuck.
Well, I can't exactly Rob. Him like, do I chop him down?
Tries to get into your pockets and they just.
Bark. He's like, oh, fuck, why you
(13:14):
SAP? It's all SAP.
Oh. Man, well, don't touch that
bridge. Oh, don't touch that branch too
much. Why you're just frozen?
Like a tray the whole time. Imagine you're not trues.
I imagine trying to fight somebody and then you cast oak
flesh and just get real stiff, right?
That's I've been waiting for this oak flesh.
(13:35):
Oh. Shit, fuck.
I'm just moving real, real slow.Hang on a second.
I can't see this scenario where that's.
Good, that's. Good.
It's only, you know, outclassed in shitness by stone flesh.
This is where you cast it in. I guess you turn into a stone,
yeah. You turn into like the thing
(13:55):
from Fantastic Four, basically, except in the the Fantastic Four
remake, where it's actually justreally horrific.
Yeah, when he turns that rock. He's just stuck as a rock.
He's. Like, that's like a horror
movie. Yeah, that's scary.
And that actually was like a horror movie that the remake.
I watched it recently and I was like what the fuck?
(14:17):
Half the movie is just horrifically like talking about
their superpowers when they can't control them.
Like all mates on fire 24/7. The stretch dude can't unstretch
himself. It's like a body horror for
Melissa. Anyway.
Spell #2 That I think is so shitin Skyrim.
(14:37):
Go on, water breathing. Water.
Breathing and you might, yeah. OK, Controversial hear.
Me out. Interesting.
Water breathing? Great.
In theory. Oh yeah, I can breathe
underwater. In practice, you can't cast it
underwater. I'm not even kidding.
You literally cannot cast water breathing underwater.
So what? You have to cast it before you
get underwater? That's you.
(14:57):
Have to have the pre planning oflike or I'm going underwater.
What if you spawn a cast? Yeah.
And then I'm going to do a little dive.
What if you spontaneously get some for some reason get thrown
underwater? You can't cast it.
You're going to be on dry land to to cast.
It can you cast any spell underwater?
I guess not I. Don't think so.
I think, wow, Yeah, I don't knowwhy that is.
(15:17):
That sucks. Literally that's so.
Pointless. You're on what?
You're like fuck, it's actually pretty deep cave.
Well, I guess I'm dead, I think.I can know a spell for this.
Also there's so many helmets that have water breathing in
champions. Yeah, yeah.
So just do just. You know, yeah.
Just use like a straw and just have it sticking out the that's
(15:38):
what I'd do, a little snorkel. Conjure up a straw.
Fuck that's so good. That's 100 scuba gear.
That's what water The potion of water breeding, actually.
Is. It's like bound gauntlet, bound
scuba gear. That'd be sick.
My third one. You know, last week I was
talking about the worst Oblivionspells and I mentioned Detect
(16:01):
Life being a bad spell. Yes, well Skyrim has a spell
called Detect Dead, and I think that might be even more useless
than Detect Life. Why?
I I think it's, I don't know. Is it like used for like Like
you can't use them against the? What is it?
(16:22):
The dragger or whatever? I think it's like detecting the
dead, so then you can like use anecromancy spell to like
resurrect a dead person. He just killed her, but I can't.
Yeah, I can't imagine a world where I'm like, right,
everybody's dead now. Detect.
Just make sure. All right?
Yeah, all these bodies are dead.Like I don't know a reality
(16:44):
where I'm like, just want to make sure.
You just don't trust that you'relike fucking, I don't know,
someone's died and you're like. Yeah, you're sneaking around.
You're like better detect dead just to make sure everyone's
dead. Honey, you're home or no, you
better detect dead. What the hell?
Oh, it's my sleeping or yeah, yeah, it's dumb.
I'm trying to think of like whenthat would be applied.
I just, I'm just picturing a funeral where you just don't
(17:05):
trust whoever died. You're like, I just got to
double check here because holy shit.
Lucky it's come up. Detect life Nothing's coming up
I. Detect.
Yeah, OK, good, good. Yeah, it'd be worse if you
thought you were casting Detect Life and you're like, oh,
there's no one around here and then you go into the a cave and
there's just a fuck ton of people because you've cast the
wrong spell. You thought you were going to
(17:26):
detect dead? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So that's that's number three,
number four, number four on worst Skyrim spells light the
spell light. OK.
Very similar to Lumos, except it's you.
You send an orb of light, yes that is, and it doesn't follow
(17:46):
you, it just sticks to wherever.You send it and it just stays
there. It should follow you.
Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, I'm using that.
I think that's Mage Light. That follows you.
OK, that's a good one. But you just got light.
But light, light is a spell where you just go and then it
sticks the wall. But you're moving through these
caves so quick. When are you really going?
Well, I better set up a a light.Yeah, to be able to, like,
(18:10):
explore this entire cave. Like I'm I'm not gonna sit down
and have a snack for lunch. In The Cave, no.
But remember in Harry Potter, when he does it in the the whole
Crocs, he like flicks it over orDumbledore.
Yeah, Dumbledore does it. That's kind of good.
See that was. Good, but the caves are never
that big in Skyrim. And the light doesn't emit that.
Yeah, right. He goes.
(18:31):
And then the lights up the wholething.
Cave lights up, no in. Skyrim it's literally like fuck
all. Small all yeah, of light.
And if you shoot it too high up,then it just it just keeps
going. It just keeps going from turns.
Into the I said the sun was made.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that I think that's just a
terrible spell just in general. Speaking of like shooting things
into the the light, into the sun.
(18:53):
There's actually a an arrow thatyou get in the the Dawnguard DLC
and if you shoot it into the sun, the sun like fucking
explodes or something. It's like an Easter egg.
It's. Crazy.
That's cool. Yeah, it's like a whole like
chain reaction thing. Pretty cool.
That is cool. And there's also a Dwema cave
where if you shoot one of those arrows, I think into like a
(19:14):
light chandelier, like a dragon comes out of it.
Holy shit, yeah. It's some cool stuff.
Anyway, yeah, I'm getting sidetracked.
DLC #5 on this is in no particular order #5 on the worst
Skyrim spells, Telekinesis. Yeah, What does that do?
I don't even know. You just, you just float
objects. I don't think I I think I think
(19:37):
I had telekinesis in one of the other lists, but it is still
equally as bad in in this list. Because when do you ever need to
use it? When am I?
When am I ever floating stuff? Yeah, and you can also pick up a
lot of stuff in Skyrim. Well, and the whole thing is I'm
like, OK, maybe if I had telekinesis, I could like, float
a cheese wheel over or float a sword over and then steal it.
(19:59):
Yeah, but if they catch you using telekinesis, floating
their stuff, they just arrest you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's no, but I was thinking like, 'cause
Skyrim's like puzzles are prettyshit.
They're kind of just like, matchthis with that and then you've
opened the door. They got 3 puzzles in the whole
game, yeah. Yeah, Golden Claw, Look at its
hand open. Door.
No. This one's the.
Ruby Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's so. What puzzle is this Ruby Claw?
(20:20):
Maybe you just spam it, you'll eventually get it like it
doesn't matter, but why wouldn'tthey involve telekinesers into
the you know what I mean? That'd be cool.
Yeah, like some. Sort of like a yeah, yeah, it's
like pull. I'm pulling a like I can't reach
that leave. And maybe I can use telekinesh?
That would be cool. Well there's there's like a the
only time I could see using it is there's like soul gems that
(20:41):
shoot fire at you if you knock them off.
They stop. You can just use a shout to
like. Even putting a bucket on
someone's head to steal that shit, but you can just grab the
bucket and put it on their head.Like, it's not like it's a.
Yeah, it just just it. Just sucks.
It's a bad spell. It's a bad spell.
But I definitely think oak fleshis the worst oak flesh.
(21:01):
Is is haunting? Turning into an actual tree
would be pretty hilarious. Oh, help me now.
What are you gonna do? This is.
So much more painful than I thought it would.
Be robbers coming to your house and you just turn into a tree
and they just start stealing you.
Stop. Stop that.
What are you doing? Wait, this lasts for 60 seconds.
Stop stealing my shit. Oh.
Shit, I better I better I betterhide turns into a tree and then
(21:23):
just watches them rob. And rob everything.
I can't move. No, no, get away from that.
Stop that. 60 seconds on the clock, we got 60 seconds.
He's a tree. He's a tree for 60.
Seconds take everything I don't.Know why we thought this was a
good spell to make? It's fucking funny.
Familiar. Familiar or fraud.
(21:46):
All right, we've done this once before, and it is where I gather
some mythical creatures that mayyou might not have heard of.
I read you out a little blurb about them and you have to guess
if they're actual real creaturesor I made them up.
Yep. Yep.
OK. 2 Truths and a lie. 3 Truthsand a lie.
This time you've done 4. I think I did that last time as
(22:09):
well. Even some of them might be
pretty obvious. OK that they're real.
You'll be like. Wagon definitely.
A. Unicorn.
A Unicorn. A mythical creature shaped like
a horse with a giant protruding.Horn on What the hell is that?
Yes. You couldn't have made that up,
(22:30):
no. Way.
There's no way at all. OK #1 All right, the OK how to
figure out, Yeah, I gotta figureout which order I do these in.
Got to remember how to pronouncethe made-up name.
I just thought, yeah. All right, here we go #1 the
Melgen. The Melgen.
(22:52):
The Melgen. Is a creature with origins in
Tartarian mythology. They were often depicted as 3
foot tall with a lizard tail anda white beard.
Interesting. Being active only at night, they
would steal children if they were.
If they left the window open, OK.
Just the window. If the window was left open in
(23:13):
your house, yeah. Does it if the door was open?
They didn't. No, if the door is open, you're
all right, you're all right. But if the window's.
Blah, we got you they. Go through the window.
Their existence was first mentioned in the mythological
folk tale Melgon Mucus that depicted a man who made a deal
with a treacherous Melgon for the King's riches.
OK, so. The Melgon, All right.
(23:35):
Yep, that's number one, the Melgon.
All right #2 is the Amarok similar to the Amaranth?
Famous. Famous.
Similar. To the amaranth.
Just describe Amaranth the Amarok like the the famous.
(23:56):
Car. It's a car I guess, similar to
the Amaranth, a Twitch streamline.
Often depicted as a woman with red hair, This so the Amarok, a
creature with origins in Inuit religion.
It's a gigantic wolf, said to stalk and devour any person
(24:19):
foolish enough to hunt alone at night.
That's cool. Unlike wolves who hunt in packs,
Amarox. Hunt alone, lone wolf.
Yeah, I relate. OK, Me and the wolf with this
wolf may have got a lot of common.
The The myth most likely originated from the tale of
ancient Inuit told about direwolves.
(24:39):
So that's number two, OK. Big wolf, little goblin snakes
in you through your window. OK, both of both of so far I'm
not getting anything. OK, they both feel like legit.
#3 the acrobua mellow. Oh fuck me, please, please God,
(25:01):
don't let this be the one that you may have because that is
terrible name. Akrabua Mullen.
Yeah, the the Akrabua mellow. You're just looking around your
room for like, words to put together.
No, no, no Acrabua. Mellow.
OK. I feel like yeah, OK.
(25:22):
A creature with origins in Mesopotamia.
Mythology. Legend and folklore all kind of
the same thing. Yeah, legend and folklore.
In particular, accounts of theirexistence first originate in the
Babylonian creature myth known as Enuma Elish.
Oh. OK, as well as the Babylonian
version of the Epic of Gilgamesh.
(25:44):
They're a humanoid. What?
Oh this is just so funny becauseit said myth, folklore, legend.
It's turned to legend and legend.
Turn to folklore, but there was 1 What's what's the name of it?
What's the name of this thing again?
(26:04):
The Acra Bourmelo. But there was one Acra Bourmelo
that was deceived. Myth turned to legend and
legend. In the fives of acra bulmar.
Until one day it was found by the most unlikeliest of
creatures and Aqua Boumelo. OK, so let's get on with it.
(26:26):
They're they're a humanoid from the waist up, but from the waist
down, it's the body of that of abeast.
And the beast in question is so.Hard.
It's a. Scorpion.
It's a big giant cock. It's got a giant cock.
It's just so hard. It's just a chicken.
It's a giant cock. The the waist up like a Centaur
(26:50):
and then just a chicken cock. No, it is.
It's a. Scorpion.
Oh. Oh, OK, that's cool.
Yeah, I think that's legit. Full scorpion body and
everything and then from the waist up to.
I feel like I've, I feel like I've heard of this.
Before like the rock from the Mummy too.
Yes, that's what I'm thinking, the rock CGI.
Really bad CGI. Yeah, OK.
(27:10):
And #4 is a Pontiac. Pontiac.
I've probably pronounced that wrong, although maybe I
pronounced it right because I might have made.
This up, I made this one up it's.
It's a dangerous spirit of a woman from Malay and Indonesian
(27:32):
mythology. They are the ghosts of women who
died during childbirth, and theyare known as vampiric ghosts,
OK? They're active at night, and
during the day they reside inside banana trees.
OK. That's a weird deal.
So random. Random.
That was random, They locate. They locate their prey by
(27:54):
sniffing clothes that are left out to dry.
They kill their victims by digging their sharp nails into
their stomach and devouring their organs.
OK, they usually announce their presence through baby's cries.
All these are. Smart enough detail.
It's said that if the city is loud or if the cry is loud,
(28:15):
she's far away, but if the cry is soft then she's nearby.
They're described as pale skin with long hair and they dress in
white. They also have long, sharp nails
and in an awful stench, they smell real bad.
Real, real bad. All that banana, Yeah, stink
like banana. All that potassium, that's
tough, bro. All these are really good.
I'm feeling. I'm feeling it's the big wolf
(28:36):
that you made-up. But I'm also like the.
Amarok. Yeah, the Amarok.
The Jeep Amarok. That's that's what I'm thinking.
But all of them are really good.All of them are.
You've done it again. Last time it was so hard and the
only reason I got it was becauseyou said.
Yeah, the Idris. Idris, yeah, Idris Alba, Idris
(28:57):
Alba, which was really good. So Idris.
Yeah. Tough man, tough.
So there was the the dude who come through the windows.
Yep. And stealed kids.
See, I feel like that feels legit.
The Melgen. The Melgen and then the giant
wolf. The lone wolf.
The Amarok. The Amarok.
And then, yeah, that whatever that thing is.
(29:19):
The scorpion guy. Yeah, you love the mummy, which
gives me a maybe maybe you've just like, but that seems like
that name is like insane. Yeah, then and then the like the
the witch vamp vampiric chick. Yeah.
I'm going to say it's the giant wolf that you made-up.
I don't think I think you made that.
Up the Amora. Yeah, man, you are.
You're wrong. You're wrong.
(29:41):
That's a real thing. Yeah.
Yeah. No, that's a real thing.
What one did you make up? You tell me, what do you think?
You just got to keep guessing. Yeah, Fuck, that's tough.
Go the scorpion. The Scorpion, the.
Scorpion is real as well. The scorpion is real.
Damn man. I don't know if I could make
that up because. Is it the third?
(30:02):
Yeah. Depicted.
Yeah, true. Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah. And so is a giant wolf.
Yeah. So is it the little lizard dude
with the tail and the mid the melgon?
God wow, I made-up the the Melgon damn is not a real
mythical creature. That seems obvious now, because
a giant wolf is a thing. We see it in Thor Ragnarok,
whatever that you know. Yeah.
(30:22):
Yeah. And we see Thor hammer rock.
Thor, Hammer Rock. Yeah, the Melgon, a three foot
tall creature with a lizard tailand a white beard.
Yeah, that's good. Damn, it seems so obvious now
that I think literally a ghost, a scorpion, you know, half
scorpion man, a giant wolf, and then just a weird little gremlin
(30:44):
thing. Like I could have worked that
out so easily. Oh my God.
So. Clearly a small dwarf with a
tail like just a known a known with a.
Tail obvious now. What is a tail?
Oh my God, that was dumb. And I basically just took a bit
of like Rumble Stiltskin. But yeah, the, the I thought was
actually quite interesting. The a Pontiac, I think, I don't
(31:06):
know if that's how you say it, but that's a real thing.
And apparently in Malay culture,that's why they don't hang their
clothes out to dry at night, at night time.
It's like a superstition thing. They don't hang out at night
because it might attract. The Pontiac.
Isn't that a car as well? Pontiac.
Pontiac. Yeah, yeah.
So what? Kind of car.
That's like a car without a likea.
(31:27):
Isn't that a car? The Pontiac?
Yeah, It's not a Pontiac. It's a Pontiac.
OK, that sounds like a Pontiac one.
Syllable difference. I definitely pronounce it wrong.
There's no way it's called a Pontiac.
Of course that was good Ford Pontiac.
You didn't. A pregnant woman.
They named this car after a pregnant woman that died, that
(31:47):
died during childbirth. Yeah.
That was good. Did it again.
Did it again. Hold on.
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Not available in all states I. Want to end this podcast with an
e-mail that one of our listenerssent in?
OK Yeah. All right.
Please. Comes in from Magic Carp.
Dude, Actually, I might get you to read it.
Why? Because I feel like you could
put on a good voice for it. And also there's some words in
(32:54):
there that I might not be able. To all right, hang on, do I have
AI don't have an echo hang on, maybe I do have.
An echo? Sort something out mate.
Great purveyors of the mystical odds.
My homunculus was doing some scrying on the old orb when we
came across a rather odd IMDb pool.
(33:17):
That is of course, IMDb the. The movie search engine.
Search engine? Yeah, it has all the movies on
it. Obviously stands for Image Movie
Database. Correct.
I don't know, I have no idea image that might be good.
Actually, I don't even think about what IMD stands for.
Course of the capsicing, which featured some specific names of
(33:39):
practitioners I think you might have heard of.
I wonder if you could talk aboutit a bit.
Love. Let me just Scroll down to the
Love the podcast. I would also love tips to keep
my homunculus from developing A lust for bloodshed.
It's been getting a dangerous glint in its eyes recently.
(34:00):
Sincerely, an amateur dog. Oh.
Yeah, great question. Well, do you want to answer the
homunculus question first? Oh, just.
It's gonna lean into it. It's just got a blood loss.
Yeah. There's no way you can control
it. No.
Yeah. You gotta put them down or you
gotta feed them a small creature.
Yeah, a Melgon would actually bea good a good piece of food.
(34:24):
For it actually it's a great point little 3 foot yeah lizard
yeah yeah it's melgon occasion catch one of them show their.
Blood. Their blood.
Loss. Just have a child leave the
window open. Homunculus in there.
Yeah, you'll sort of just pretend like you.
Dress it up as a little. Yeah, like a monster's thing.
Like pretend it's a little kid in the bed and.
Then we've got to steal it. The monkey list would jump on
it. Yeah.
(34:44):
Nice. That's great.
Yeah. Yeah.
Little dummy in the monkey list.Dress it up.
Yeah. Perfect.
Yeah. Well, yeah.
And then the second part. I don't think we've ever talked
about capsicing on the podcast before.
Maybe maybe we've mentioned it. I.
Don't think we have no. I'll start.
I'll do a bit of hand on, OK. The worst way to tell a?
Story I love handball and I hatethat.
OK, go on. So basically when we were in
(35:05):
Brisbane, we started film school.
It was towards the end of our film school.
They have this 48 hour film challenge where you're going to
make a short film 5 minutes longin about 48 hours.
It starts on like Friday. About 48 hours.
Spot on about. Something about about around 48
hours for the 48 hour Film Festival. 48 hour they call it
the 47 to 48 roundabout hour Film Festival.
(35:26):
We got hours in 46 hours, so we did pretty well.
We. Did we actually?
Yeah, So, yeah. So yeah, you gotta do a yeah,
you gotta make a short film in 48 hours and you, you got a
phrase you have to put in there.You got a character's name and
you got a genre you have to do, and also you have to have it
revolving around a prop you. Didn't have to have a revolving
(35:48):
around a prop you need to include.
Include a prop and we decided tofocus all our energy on the prop
and the prop was a capsicum or abell pepper for our
international listeners. Yeah, that's right.
And then? OK, so.
That's a handball, by the way. So it all starts at 7:00 PM, it
all kicks off. Everyone has to meet at the same
hall and everyone was on the Gold Coast, which is about an
(36:11):
hour away from Brisbane, which is where the hall was.
So I was in charge of going to the place to, to get our genre
and all that stuff. And there's a bunch of ping pong
balls and they throw them at youand it's like a, you draw a
random genre. And so we ended up getting a
horror movie, and then we had toinclude one character, which was
(36:34):
like a fucking news reporter. And then we had to include a
capsicum and we had to include one line.
I can't even remember what the line was.
But and then everyone gets all of that and everyone just gets a
different genre. And then you go away and 48
hours later on the Sunday at 7:00 PM, you need to submit it
before them. Then a finished film, 5 to 7
(36:56):
minute film. So I'm driving.
I, I give you guys the topics and you guys start
brainstorming. I'm driving back to the Gold
Coast and I'm like, oh boy, I hope.
They hope. They come up with something.
And then I get to this place, everyone's, there's a big
fucking a three board. Everyone's starting to talk
about like, what was the idea? Or maybe it could be a, a killer
(37:19):
that leaves capsicum slices on the eyes or something like that,
Like a detective killer. Yeah.
And I was like, Oh yeah, what ifwe just do like, kind of like
the gremlins, but it's like a capsicum, you know, you can't
get it wet or it'll multiply. Yeah.
And then that's what we did. Like, yeah, it's not like, yeah,
like 2 hours of like trying to color something and then yeah,
(37:40):
you walk in with the capsicum being the the killer and then we
just ran with that, yeah. And so.
That was that's the premise is basically, yeah, it's a
capsicum. If you get a wet, it'll
multiply. You got to eat it before it.
Eats you yeah which was that gotta.
Eat it before it eats you. And then so we're so then
everyone sort of went away and we started like trying to figure
(38:01):
out locations and everything andwe all sort of split up into
teams and then me, Jackson, another boy.
And then the director stayed andwe're writing it.
And then we'll realize that if it's going to be like gremlins,
we're just going to punch it full of jokes.
So it went from like this horrorto a comedy horror and now it's
just a it was a full blown comedy.
(38:23):
Yeah, I mean, it can't. Be horror.
Yeah, it can't be horror for sure.
Yeah, you know, like most horrors are kind of comedies.
Yeah, yeah, I think so. So yeah, it's just punch with
full of jokes. Me and just had like we were
basically acting out the entire script while another lab was
just typing it all down. Yeah, and I wasn't going to be
involved because I was shooting my final film for film school
(38:45):
the the next weekend. So I was like, I'm not getting
involved. I don't want to be there.
I'll come and write and then I'mdone.
And then I ended up being written in and I started and I
was the actor in one of them. Because we had the Capsy King,
so the movie's called Curse of the Capsy King.
And. We were like, who's going to
play the Capsy King? And the whole time we were
interact, making up the story, while we were talking, you kept
(39:06):
doing the voice and stuff. And we were like, well, there's
there's one guy that already knows the lines.
I don't want to do the impression.
And then yeah, so I fully got roped into doing it.
And then I actually got nominated for the whole like as
best actor for for the whole thing, which is fucking
hilarious as. Well, you won't do it at all.
Yeah, ended up Yeah, getting nominated for Best Actor.
(39:26):
It was a lot of fun. That was a really fun 48 hours.
Out of the seven awards, we got nominated for five.
Yeah, yeah, it did really well. And we won best director and we
won best I've. Got title screen best.
Best graphics? Best graphics?
Yeah, title car was pretty good too.
Neat. Yeah.
(39:47):
So we wrote it on the first night, ended up going to sleep
at like, fuck, like 4:00 AM, Yeah.
And then we were going to film during the day.
And then. But because with the way we'd
written it, it kind of had to befilmed at night.
So we ended up waiting around all day.
We tried to. We ended up filming at my house.
So my parents let us film. So Jackson drove from Brisbane
down to Gold Coast to to give usthis golden idea and then we all
(40:10):
got in everyone's cars and droveback from the Gold Coast up to
Brisbane to film at Jackson's parents place.
Yeah. And then, yeah, they everyone
tried to like, black out the windows to like, pretend it was
not. It did not work.
Didn't work. So we had to wait around all
day. Yeah.
And meanwhile, our director thought it'd be a good idea to
stay up the whole 48 hours. Yeah.
So he was up all day. Just smashing Red Bulls.
(40:31):
Smashing Red Bulls all day and then it finally gets to night
time and I was the cinematographer as well and then
we started filming, finished like it was really fun filming.
The whole thing wrapped at about3:00 AM.
Yeah. 3:00 AM the next Yeah. Yeah, our director had fallen
asleep about. Three while directing, right.
Yeah, I remember I was like, yeah, right.
What's next? He's just, he's just sleep on
the counter. Like OK, cool.
(40:53):
All right, all right. So then we get that finished,
film it, finish it at about 3:00AM, and then the next morning I
wake up at about 8:00 AM and I spend the whole day editing.
The entire thing we're like looking up like sound effects
and sending them to. Yeah.
Jackson was definitely the MVP. He kept it going.
He kept it structured. Everyone was kind of like, like
when you're on a movie set, everyone sort of like breaks and
(41:14):
starts like making jokes. And it's like, it's fun to make
a movie, but if you don't have like direction or you don't have
like someone like steering the ship, it can definitely like.
Gets very. Aimless, get very aimless and
like what are we doing next? Oh yeah, we should do that.
Oh we need that. And then it gets very like
setups take a while. Jackson was very like he did all
handheld and everything. So definitely the MVP of it.
But I got nominated, so yeah, that's.
(41:36):
True, that's true. I got nominated for best
graphics, Yeah, which kind of pissed me off because I didn't
even do the. Graphics, you shouldn't say that
they like, come and take that office.
Yeah, best graphics I got nominated for.
We actually got a guy that worked on a Disney Plus film he
didn't do the graphics for. Us he didn't like, like fucking
not even an hour. And they were very good.
They were sick. And well, I took that anyway.
(41:59):
I took that award. I'll.
Take that, let's take that. I think best director is
basically basically like a team effort.
Yeah, an award. Anyway, so and, and our director
got up there and basically just said it was, you know, it was
everyone part. It was really, it was really
good. Yeah, so we won.
Yeah. Best graphics, best director.
We got nominated for best film, best supporting actor and then
(42:22):
it was something out. Like, I think we got best,
right? Like screenplay or whatever.
Yeah, maybe. Yeah.
And I think. I think the film's great.
I think it is. Up until maybe like the last
minute it falls apart. We sort of there were some lines
in there I didn't really like. There's a couple of jokes that
weren't great. And then we, I remember we
finished the whole thing. We're like thought of a way
(42:43):
better end. And we're like, fuck, we should
have done that. That would have been so much
better. Yeah, because we want it because
we want it to be ranked because you can't get the capsicum wet.
So we didn't want like we was. And then we wanted, like to look
out at Jackson's pool and then lightning strikes and there's
just capsicums everywhere. But we couldn't do that because
we just didn't. We thought about it after the
fact and it was daytime and we're editing, so we just like,
(43:03):
had a look outside and the rain's coming down and then the
movie ends. Like to be continued.
But we wish we just had this nice.
Yeah, the. Capsicums.
There. The capsicum, Yeah.
Yeah, we look and with this skill that I have now, I'm like,
that would have been such an easy shot to do now that I know
about it. But at the time we were like,
oh, we should have bought more capsicums and there's the whole
(43:25):
thing. But yeah, that was, that's the.
Capsicum and it's on YouTube. I might even link it in the
description of the pod if peoplewant to go check it out.
We're pretty proud of it. I think it's the best thing we
did in that films, like our final films are pretty solid.
But this was like the most fun Ithink I had at film school, and
it wasn't a part of film school,but.
Yeah, it was just an extra curricular thing.
(43:45):
And then we ended up trying to upload it to the website and it
wouldn't work and there was two hours.
If you submit it after the 48 hours, that's it.
It doesn't. Count.
It doesn't count, Yeah. So we had like 2 hours left when
uploading it. Uploading it kept not working.
We're like fuck. And so we got on Ausb and had to
drive out to the actual venue, and luckily they were there and
we had to hand it to them beforethe 48 hours.
(44:08):
And then this fucking guy that Iwas giving it to, he was like,
oh, yeah, cool. Like uploading.
He's like, oh, yeah, So what, what did you do for it?
And I was like, oh, I sort of helped write and then I filmed
it and then I edited it. And he's like, oh, one of those.
Yeah, yeah. And I was like one of those
guys. I was like, like, what the
person has to do? Fucking yeah.
I was like, yeah, maybe because there's nobody else that was
going to do it. Like, what do you mean?
(44:30):
Yeah, I was. I was that guy.
We weren't even meant like, yeah, we sort of just got not
roped into it, but we kind of just like stumbled into it.
I wasn't you. You did it and then you're like,
oh, do you want to do it with me?
I was like, yeah, right. I yeah.
We didn't really sign up knowingwhat it was going to be.
And it was full on and it was a lot of fun.
I'm glad we did it really good. For 48 hours, like I think if we
redid it, we could do it so muchbetter.
(44:50):
So much. Better.
So much better, so much quicker and now we know what the end
result we'd be able to redo it so much better, but in 48 hours
it's not bad. It's pretty good for 48 hours.
Yeah, it's pretty good. It's not bad.
The people that won had a reallycool special effect when their
head turned into a capsicum. And that was crazy.
I was like damn. And it was just like a split
(45:10):
second and the eyes like popped and like the capsicum like
screamed because he was on this like capsicum acid trip type
vibe. It's very Midsummer.
Yeah, mid Midsummer type vibe and yeah, they they smashed and
they were cool dudes too. They were really good.
When I when they won, I was like, yeah, it was so fair.
Like it was really good. It was a really great film.
Yeah, good experience. If anyone has a 48 hour Film
(45:30):
Festival in their city or whatever and they're into film,
get a team together and I recommend doing it because it's
crazy. Like to think, you know, 48
hours before that we had nothingand then it 48 hours later we
have a tangible film that we have forever that we've just
made in like a 5 minute film. Fuck it.
Yeah. And then like after we made it,
your mum's getting all all her friends come round like, oh,
(45:52):
show them the 48 hour film thing.
Yeah. And then and your mum's friends
were watching it and they were laughing and having a good time.
And then I went back home. Mum did it with my aunties and
stuff. Show all the aunties your 48
film silence. No one that it was.
It destroyed me. It was so rough.
I was standing there like sucks.Yeah, that's a joke, by the way.
It's like, feel free to laugh like.
Yeah, oh, there's some good moments, but I think the last
(46:15):
minute is what makes me not wantto show it to people because
it's quite, quite vulgar. Yeah, it's a bit of.
Kind of language in it. And I was like, we're better.
We could have done so much better than that.
But I, yeah, anyway, I'd fallen asleep by that point.
So it's not not on me, not on me.
I was. I was asleep.
I I don't know how it got past. I don't know how it got past me.
Anyways, yeah, that was the Capsi King.
(46:40):
Worth a watch. I'll put it in the description.
Well, that's all the time we have on the Wizards Tower.
If you'd like to reach the Wizards, you can send her now to
the Wizards Tower pod@gmail.com and you can also follow us on
Instagram and TikTok. Whatever the hell that is.
Anyway, don't forget to grab your hat, grab your star, and
(47:01):
we'll see you on the next episode.
Of the Wizards Tower. The new Mccrispy strip is here.
Dip approved by Ketchup, Tiny BBQ, honey mustard, honey
mustard, Sprite, Mcflurry, Big Mac sauce double dipped in
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