Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
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trademark of FCAUSLLC. Man, you know what I never see
(01:03):
anymore? What's that dude?
Two eyed cyclopses. I haven't seen one of those in
it seems like forever. I've I've never seen one.
Dude, that's a man. That's like a human.
The two eyed cyclops. Think about that.
Oh. Yeah, well, that does make
sense. Idiot.
I mean, I got to get off the potions.
I reckoned. Welcome back to the Wizard's
(01:24):
Tower. The Wizard's Tower.
At the start of the pod this week, I'm just doing a little
bit of house cleaning so everyone can understand what's
what's happening in the in the near future for the pod
(01:46):
probably. The first time you've ever done
house cleaning? Yeah, when I think about it.
Got. Him.
Yeah, The town's a mess. That was disgusting.
No podcast. Next week on The New Way.
No podcast. Catching a broom.
Catching a broom to fly to fire way location, Yeah.
(02:06):
Cool, That's alright. That's sweet.
Alright, sounds. Good, I'm be.
Oh, well, it's still in Australia.
It's not that far away. Yeah, I'll still be in the
country. Why are you being so vague?
I don't know, I don't know. I'm going to Sunshine Coast with
a couple of mates. So OK, gonna be that I guess so.
I guess so. Yeah, so I'm having like a
weekend with my mates. My birthday, that was last week.
Yep. Happy birthday.
Thank you for that. You forgot last week, so I
appreciate you saying it this week.
(02:28):
And then also last week on the podcast, I told a story about my
dad potentially killing a turtle.
Listen to last week's part. Oh, yeah, yeah.
He rang me because he's a fan ofthe party, listens to the
podcast. So does mum.
He rang me and said can you not spread misinformation?
I was like, what are you talkingabout?
He wanted me to apologise for accusing him of animal cruelty.
(02:50):
OK. Hey.
Man, look, the turtle. Died the turtle.
Died. I don't.
Know who did it? He.
It somehow died. I'm not saying it was you.
But but the turtle did die. You were feeding.
A cat food, Yeah. Allegedly allegedly cat food.
So he wanted me to apologise andsay it wasn't 100% his fault.
OK, He wants me to take some blame in it.
As a six year old kid he reckonsI should have went down to
(03:11):
Bunnings and bought the pump myself to make sure the turtle
had a livable environment. And rightfully so.
So I just wanted to clean that up at the start.
I apologise for not taking some of the blame even though.
As a six year old. Child as a six year old child
and. You know, and I was thinking
that I didn't want to say it at the time, but I'm glad somebody
said something because, you know, it was your turtle at the
(03:33):
end of. It it was my turtle.
Exactly right. Exactly right.
Yeah. So apologies to Dad and
apologies for listeners for gaslighting and lying to
everyone. So, yeah, apologies for that.
And then you had you want to start the pod with something as
well, Did I? I don't know.
What am I? Oh, the OK.
Yeah, Did you? OK, I've got a little game.
(03:54):
Oh, OK. Because the last few weeks, I
don't know if we've got a maybe like a little gnome infestation,
maybe living in the walls. OK, I don't wanna say it's Emma.
It could be the gnome, maybe it's Frank.
I'm not sure. Sounds like Emma it.
Seems like every time I put something somewhere, it ends up
in a different location and I don't know how, I don't know
(04:16):
how. So I'm going to give you a few
things that I've I've wanted to grab and you're going to have to
guess which location they were found in.
I'm going to give you some options and you're going to have
to guess which one it was. OK, so this morning I was
looking for my coffee cup as I do every morning I make a coffee
right now. Was it in one of three
(04:40):
locations? Yeah.
Was it a next to the coffee machine?
OK. Like it always is.
Makes sense. It's next to the coffee machine.
I make a coffee, of course it's going to be next to the coffee
machine. There's a shelf above the coffee
machine. The cups go there.
OK. Yeah.
Is it there? Yep.
Is it in the cuppy? It was it.
Sorry. Cuppy is in the cupboard house.
(05:01):
Was it in? Was it in the cupboard it was
moved to above the range hood sothe next shelf over?
Was it in the one that it was then moved to?
From the previous, yeah. So it was originally.
Next to the coffee machine whereit should be.
All the time and. Then it was moved to range hood.
The household decided to move itto behind the above the rooms.
Yeah, OK. Or was it in a separate cupboard
(05:21):
on the very top shelf that you needed a stool to access because
it's so high up? Which one do you think it was
in? Well, if I was a betting man, I
would have said aye, because that's where you would keep it,
where it naturally was in the first spot, use it every day.
Yeah. Where was it?
(05:42):
Believe it or not, it was in a separate cupboard at the very
top shelf. You need a.
Stool. You need a stool.
Something you use every single day and you need a stool?
That's so. Weird.
And then I asked Emma. I was like, how did you even get
it up there? Because she's like 5 foot 15
foot 2, she said. She used the spool to get up
there and I was like. I just threw it up there.
Does that not seem inconvenient to you?
Something I use everyday. Being up there, that's really
(06:03):
fun and. She just didn't.
She just didn't want it in the kitchen.
Or maybe the gnomes. Maybe they just didn't want it
in the. Gnome, you know, it was
probably. Crowding up the place.
OK, so that's one OK, second item.
OK. My keys, my car keys, the keys
to get into the apartment building.
And Emma wouldn't need to move the car keys because she
actually doesn't. She doesn't drive.
She. Doesn't drive and she also has
her own set of keys so I don't know why she'd.
(06:24):
Be she wouldn't have to use yourkeys so.
It must be the. So were they a on my bedside
table where I left them? Spot.
Or B, Were they in the bedside table drawer?
Maybe they'll just put away in the bedside table drawer, you
know, get the clutter out. Or C Were they in the kitchen in
a small ceramic bowl with a lid on it that has never had
(06:44):
anything in it ever? I'm going to guess say because
that sounds like something she would.
Do. Well, actually, you know, it's
funny enough that's actually where they were.
Yeah, yeah. That is exactly where the keys
were in this ceramic bowl that I've never It has a lid on it,
I've never opened it up. My tape measure was in there for
(07:06):
some reason, and so was my keys in this ceramic bowl.
Oh fuck me. Which is apparently it's the
designated key bowl now. Oh OK, that's good.
And tape measure bowl. And tape measure bowl.
Yeah. OK.
Third thing. This one really annoyed me the
other day because I needed this.I had to go to the post office.
So I need my ID. Yeah.
My wallet. Your wallet.
(07:27):
My wallet. OK, interesting.
Where was my wallet? All these all these items seem
to be yours. And they're really fucking
useful items that I use every day as well.
So I put them in a certain spot because I'm like, I'm going to
need that in about two hours. So I'm going to put that here
because I'm going to. Grab it again you're.
Going to grab it again. Yeah, my wallet.
Was it a on the window sill where I left it?
(07:49):
Right next to my wardrobe? You know I get, I get out of my
fucking game. Of Thrones outfit my wizard's.
Attire I get out of my wizard's attire, or my tracksuit, or that
I put real clothes on for outside.
Was it A on the bedside? On the window sill?
Was it in B in the stupid ceramic bowl in the kitchen?
(08:12):
That sounds. Yeah.
Or was it C in a random bag tucked behind my bedside table
with my keys in it? This time, for some reason, my
keys were also in this bag. Oh.
No, Emma, don't be serious. The names not Emma.
So gnomes Noma. Why are the?
Names. I'm like, I'm like, where's my
(08:33):
wallet? Oh, it's in this.
It's in this bag with my keys aswell.
Actually, she put it just in a random bag.
Yeah, it's just a random. Bag.
That's funny, he's the gnomes man.
Right next to there could. Have been that Mike see he's
probably pissed off he's trappedin that I mean.
It could very well be. I'm not saying it.
I don't think it. Was you're not.
We're not accusing. Him.
We're not accusing anybody. Could be the gnomes.
Could be the gnomes, could be the walls eyes if you hear that.
(08:57):
OK, it could be. I don't know.
All right. And lastly, OK, we've got the
cereal. OK, you're.
Going to have to kiss this one. OK, the cereal belongs in the
cupboard. Yep, the.
Cereal belongs in the cupboard. Yep, but it's which shelf was
it? Was it on?
OK, now everyone has their wardrobe, their cupboards, you
know, arranged in different. No, no two cupboards are the
(09:19):
same. No, I'd say there's a general
rule of cupboardness. Most used stuff probably at head
height and then progressively getting less.
Useful up and down, heavier stuff towards the bottom.
That's right. OK, so the cereal, the
Nutrigrain specifically, was it on the shelf with all the other
cereal That's a that sounds. Yeah, sounds seems like a
(09:40):
reasonable. That seems like a good.
Place to put it. That's where it was yesterday.
Was it B on the shelf with the long life milk?
See, that's not too bad either. Yeah, I kind of get that, yeah.
Even though it should be probably with the other cereal
that. Makes the most sense.
Or C Was it behind all of the spices and cereal yesterday?
(10:04):
Behind the spices, the lace oil,behind the fucking flour, behind
the sugar, everything. Like naughty I'm trying to get.
Yeah, this little guy, Mr. Tum Tum came out.
He's like, what are you looking?For your Nutri grain now just.
Playing his like pan pipe, like his thing, he's like, oh, you're
(10:24):
looking for your Nutri. Answer these riddles 3.
Oh, the ice which got it. She's got your nutrigrain.
You're gonna have to go to the ice.
Kingdom, Oh my fucking God. I just want my nutrigrain me
fucking long life. Milk's in here too.
It's frozen. It's in the ice.
It's been bloody frozen as well.I'm gonna have to defrost that
too. Emma, where'd you leave my
cereal? I just left it on the mountain
(10:45):
next next to the ice which is cast.
Well, we just want to put it. Away.
Yeah, we have to put. One over.
So we don't want people to know that you have Nutrigrain, so
we're putting it behind the oil and the spices.
I think that's sorry, funny. I think it's crazy because
living with Matthew and his fiancee Lauren, similar
situation. Yeah.
People coming over and just like, oh, you can tidy up your
bathroom. Yeah.
No, I just tidy my bathroom. And he's like, I'm just gonna
put your stuff just in the cupboard underneath.
(11:06):
I'm like, what are you scared of?
People know that I brush my teeth.
You. You terrified that people are
aware you. Don't want people?
Know sorry, buddy. Fair enough.
Be razors and like, all that sort of stuff that they were
charging, like, you know, you want to put them away.
I get that. Yeah.
But like, really. Like, do you not want people to
know I exist? Like, just shut my bedroom door.
Go and Potter. Under the under the.
Stairs. Yeah.
Stay in your room. Don't come back.
(11:29):
He's troubled. He's a troubled boy.
It's the cat. The cat.
You're like rustling. He's someone.
Brushing their teeth, he's the. Cat Yeah, I don't know what it.
Is Oh my God, it's just so I, I remember like listening to my
dad growing up and laughing at him and being like, ha, like
that's. Silly is old married couples.
(11:49):
That never happened to me. I get it.
Yeah, I get it. I'm trying to think I feel like
dad does it to mom. I don't know if mom does it to
dad. I think it's like role reversed
in their relationship. Just fucks because puts it
doesn't on purpose. Just a mess with her because he
who did it to me, he'll go into my room and grab my car keys and
then like go take my car to the shops or something and then come
back. Instead of putting my car, the
(12:10):
keys back where he found it, just hangs them up with the rest
of the car keys. Which I'm like, yeah, I get it.
But like, I don't live here. I don't want my keys mixed with
your keys bro. Back in my room.
You left that story, that key element out.
He takes your car and then puts them.
OK, that kind of makes sense. I thought he would just take
them out of your room and then just put them on the rack.
I was like, that's. That is weird.
(12:31):
That is weird. That would be funny.
I can kind of get that. It's not like.
Anyone put my clothes away though, you know what I mean?
Point. Yeah, he wears them, He puts
them. He puts them on, goes out numb,
and then he hangs. Them on the tea shelf.
Outside. I think my dad's losing it,
actually. I think about it.
He's just going. Crazy killing turtles.
Killing turtles? Where are my clothes?
(12:52):
Sorry. Darn, it's like a buddy nerf.
That. Buff.
That. Does it ever feel like you're a
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(13:36):
Nerf that, buff that. This is the game where we talk
about things that are in real life that need a nerf, which are
overpowered, too good to be true, yeah, or need a buff,
which are not very good and needto be increased in.
Need to be improved. Improved.
But yeah, you know, like video games nerfing something, buffing
something. Yeah, it's a video.
Video Terminology. Terminology, I think people.
It's called the Wizards. I don't know if you know that.
So Wizards are this thing, right?
(13:57):
Where they're like normal people, but they're magical.
I'm worried, like I'm worried that our our audience isn't
nerdy enough to know what the nerf that buff that is, you
know, would literally call the Wizards tower and dress up as
Wizards. But this, this is my first one
buff hanging clothes on the line.
Oh OK, takes way too long. Yeah, it really does.
You'd think it's this point in society and you know, as a
(14:21):
civilization we would have foundbetter ways to.
Dry clothes, it's ridiculous. I think clothes dryer, I think
we talked about last time talking about.
Yeah, clothes dryers. Yeah, I understand that.
But like, I understand there's things called dry eyes.
I understand you can put your clothes in there, but they
shrink. We were talking about that last
time that that was one of your bedroom shrink.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I'm saying like that does. I hang out one week's worth of
clothes. My arms get tired from hanging
out my clothes on. Yeah, man, I was like towards
(14:42):
you. I'm like, fuck, I've lifted up
like a third pair of trackies. My arms are sore.
Bro this is getting ridiculous. I think my wife should do this.
I should be doing this too hard for me.
They're used to lifting babies, lifting babies, putting putting
clothes on the line. That's the bottom of this action
going on. Why am I doing that?
I know the perfect bath. Get someone else to do it, get
my wife to do it. But then I was thinking like,
(15:03):
like, my sister has so many kids.
My mum was one of eight. Like that would be just
ridiculous. Your arm, your show.
My grandma's grandma's fucking shoulders are just jacked from
can't. Be good at climbing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's just gone back from
hanging clothes up. It's just like hanging clothes.
(15:23):
It's just like hanging clothes Dino's up to.
Yeah, she's like, she's like lift get doing a really hard
climb. She's like, this is like when I
gotta hang out the jackets, but they're like still soaked with
water. This is just like hanging out
the towels. He's like he's got pegs in her
hands to peg up to the next climb.
Yeah, that'd be awesome. Yeah, that's my, that's one of
my buffs. All right, I've got, I've got
another buff as well to keep to compliment your buff, buff
(15:47):
morning alarms. Okay, I think, I think they need
just like a bed that ejects you out, honestly, like the hospital
bed, but it's the whole bed and just goes and then you're just
standing up and you're like, allright, I'm gonna get out of bed,
I guess. You need some Wallace and Gromit
type invention. You have to make your I.
Slide down to the second story, my clothes come up and I get.
That be fall. Straight into my trousers.
(16:08):
That would be unreal. That would be really good.
Yeah, that's good. I like that.
Yeah, I think so too. I put my phone on the other side
of my room. I get out of bed, grab my phone,
turn the alarm off, get back into bed.
I know it's. Just it's it doesn't matter.
I thought I was trying to buff it.
Honestly, I think even then if the bed lifted up and I was I
just was standing, I'd probably just sleep on the I'd just grab
(16:30):
my blanket and then sleep on thefloor.
Probably turn my alarm off. Yeah, so I think you need a
buff. I don't know if the alarms need
a buff. You're.
Buffing my motivation. This this one's I like this one
buff people in front of me. I want their movement speed to
be increased by like a 15% When I'm walking down the street and
there's someone walking slow in front of me and like swaying
back to and like walking all over the place.
(16:52):
I need that movement speed to beincreased.
I need them to have some boost of swiftness.
I need them to I don't know whatit is like a new.
Potion of Swiftness. On splash potions they've run
into oncoming traffic. They're like looking that way.
They just get hit. You just hit them with a splash
potion of swiftness, like looking over there, and they
just run it off. Oh well, bubble.
Oh God, Oh my God, that'd be. Somebody splashed it with
(17:17):
swiftness and you're like. Oh, what the hell.
But. Everyone in the crowd gathers
over onto the road to. Help.
And then you've got a clear, clear pathway through.
Yeah, I like that. That's good.
I like that splash portion of Swiftness.
Some people just enjoy taking the scenic route, you know some.
People just enjoy life. They just, they're just living
these ones like look. Go to the shops and people just
slowly strutting, just walking around.
(17:39):
Oh stop horrifying me. Oh look at that.
JJ's has got new fucking pants. Oh, have they got a new?
Have they got a new T-shirt withNaruto on it?
You're telling me, oh, we're doing that?
Oh Oh well, they acquired the licensing to Hellraiser.
Oh, let's have a look at the thegraphic Tees in JJ.
'S I'm saying, I'm saying those people, they should have already
(18:00):
been looking it up online, picked exactly what they need,
outgoing in. I'm with you on that.
I'm with you. I think I'm exactly.
Looking at shit, get out of my way.
Yeah, what I'm saying. I've already cross referenced
this with six other stores online.
I know that this one is the one with the best deal.
I'm going in I'm. Going to be right?
Do you not have anything else todo?
The salesman always gets shocked.
I always go into like Harvey Norman or something.
They're like, OK, so you're looking at toasters.
(18:20):
OK, so there's obviously this. I want that one.
What? I've already picked that one out
OK. So that one's really good, but
we actually also have. I know it is, I've looked
everything up. I want that one.
Are you OK? Are you?
Sure, I want that's. Yep, I've looked it up.
I've done the math. I'm not here to browse.
OK, I want that one. All right, I'll get that one.
And I don't want a warranty. Let me just check if there's any
in. Stock real quick.
I want to. I actually want that.
(18:42):
One I know there's stock online,there's 1010 plus out of the
back. Just fucking get.
Just get. I've done your job for you.
Yeah, I've already sold it to myyou.
Don't even need to sell me, I'vewatched 15 YouTube videos.
I'll see this. Weird.
Guy, some weird guy who's like, you know, like toaster reviews
and like that's his whole channel and he's really.
Experienced. He knows what he's doing.
I know that this is. Marcus Brown, He's got a 15
(19:03):
minute on why this is the best toaster I need to this one
that's good as. My go, I think it's my go.
All right, I got another one here.
Buff plane rides. It's been this long and it still
takes an hour and a half to get from Sydney to Melbourne and
Melbourne to Sydney, dude. I got buff.
Airplanes should shouldn't take three days to get to fucking.
(19:23):
I've got that on my things. Oh my God.
Look at us. That's what I say.
I think all that need to be buffed then.
Yeah, I do think that plane rides need to be buffed also.
Can we just make them a little bit cheaper, please?
Yeah. Everywhere else in the world,
this is an Australian specific thing.
Everywhere in the world has like$50 flights, $100 flights.
Yeah. To travel an hour or two hours,
it's like nearly $300 one way. Yeah, sometimes just to get from
(19:47):
Melbourne to Sydney. Dude from Melbourne to Sunny
Coast, 400 bucks $450. Why I can go to Japan for 800
returns that's. Ridiculous.
I'm literally leaving the country.
I can literally go to Canada forlike 1200, yeah, return.
And it's like, and for some reason it's almost cost that
much to go 2 hours. I have a stopover in Sydney to
(20:09):
go to Canada. Yeah, and.
And that's where the money is going.
Can't you just like? What do you mean?
If you flew from Sydney, it's actually 300 bucks, but flying
from Melbourne to Sydney, that'swhere the $900.
And you'd think being that expensive and that shit of a way
to travel, there wouldn't be that many people doing it.
I've always I've always got to be sitting in in row 23 or 24.
Middle. Yeah, Middle J seat.
(20:30):
Now this, because of this is a very full flight.
We need everybody to put their bags away in overhead.
And if there's no room, put it, put it under your seat.
Why there's so many people on this plane?
Go home. Why is everyone catching the
6:00 AM plane? Oh, probably because it's
fucking $20 cheaper than catching it at midday.
I saw a ticked off a girl standing in line at 4:00 AM
miserable and she's like, we just, we got a flight for $20
(20:53):
cheaper. We're so happy right now.
They're just miserable at 4:00 AM.
But then it's actually like absurdly different prices.
It's like, oh, you can you catchit for $294.00 at 6:00 AM?
Yeah. Or you catch it for $840 one
way. It's you get it at at 10 AM,
It's not like ridiculous. It's such a joke.
(21:13):
Flying in Australia is like crazy.
It sucks, it sucks, it sucks. That we're like, we're not even
on fucking. I feel like we're not even a
part of the planet sometimes. Yeah, it's like 3 days to get
to. We are an isolated island in the
middle of no sucks. It's kind of good, but like the
we have like a monopoly on everything too.
Like monopoly on the grocery stores.
(21:33):
That's why everything's so expensive.
And we have a monopoly on flights.
That's why there's it's so expensive.
Everything's owned by the same guys.
Yeah. It's fucked up.
Anyway, this isn't nerf anyway, what's what's the next?
Nerf billionaires. Nerf monopolies.
Can we nerf monopolies please? Can we?
Go and pass. Go.
It's too much. Go to jail.
There's one nerf hanging out with the boys.
(21:54):
It's too good. It's too good, man.
Yeah, I get hanging out with theboys.
It's too good. That should be bad.
It should be bad, it should be alittle bit worse.
You don't keep wanting to do it.Yeah, you just got to invite
that one, mate. That's like, really?
Miserable all the time. That's a good point.
That always I'll just be. That always just brings his
girlfriend. She just doesn't fit the same
vibe at all. Yeah, that'll nerf it.
(22:15):
That's that. Nerves it all.
Yeah, you'll be watching like Die Hard Four and like, can we
just put on secret lives and more than wives, please?
And you'd be like, oh man, why does she keep coming?
You guys have all week together.This is a boy happening.
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I got buff airplanes.
Hanging out with her and she keeps.
Clearly doesn't enjoy it. Why do you keep going to these
(22:35):
things? OK, I've got buff hot showers.
Buff hot showers. Cold showers give you so many
benefits. Why not hot showers?
How is that fair? Yeah.
Cold shower like increases your.Heart rate by three. 100% which
which in the long term, why can't give you 5 more years?
Yeah, why can't? Warm showers do that.
Why can't I be comfortable? Yeah, have a nice hot shower and
(22:58):
still get the benefits of a culture.
Buff warm baths. I don't want to do ice baths.
Buff warm baths. Maybe you gotta have it really
fucking hot. Yeah, like a sauna.
Yeah, that's probably what it is.
You need a sauna? Yeah, yeah.
Nerf boiling water, bro. Can we?
Can we nerf that please? Can we make it not so hot?
Can we make boiling water not not as hot as it?
Is oh, yeah. He's, he's no one buff.
(23:21):
People's spatial awareness, especially in shopping centres.
Yeah. I almost ran over three people
last week with my cage because they're just like on either on
their phone, not looking or justlike turning corners without
checking. They're just like, yeah, anyway.
And then just like looking at you and turning a corner and
you're like, bro, what are you doing?
Yeah, look where you're going. I don't know if it's a it's a
Melbourne specific thing. It is.
(23:42):
There's that many people if you go shopping past 4:00 PM.
It's mental. It is a nightmare.
There are. It's like a war zone.
They do. People everywhere, they need to
start putting indicators on yourshopping trolley.
Yeah, there are people. Yeah, they're just bugging.
I'm just going to turn. Good luck everybody.
Else it is crazy. It is like a war zone.
Every single time I'm going to Emma, I'm like, bravo skirt, get
(24:05):
the spinach, get the spinach. I'll meet you rendezvous at the
fucking chicken aisle and then I'm going to get the chicken
breast. We went out of people go back.
Someone gets blown up at the pastry aisle.
Oh, is this a nice croissant? Holy shit, go get to the fucking
bread. Grab the home brand bread.
No, no, not the one to bread. Get the home brand.
(24:26):
We're putting it in the freezer.We're putting it in the freezer.
It is mental. Yeah.
Shopping. Shopping's insane can.
You tell me we don't really likeshopping that much.
And then have you got another one?
I got one, I got 1. Yeah, I've got one more.
Came up with this one all by myself.
Yeah, totally didn't keep givingit.
OK, nerf the last minute. You know, do.
(24:46):
You get that? Let me.
Do you want me to explain that to?
Well you don't have to cause I thought of it and gave it to
you, but you can definitely explain it.
OK, I think that I personally think, yeah, too much is getting
done last minute, you know, camewith that I all by myself.
For example, Jackson's nerf thatbuff that list.
I did that in the two minutes before the podcast.
I can you do I think you like what took a piss and he's like,
I'm just gonna go take a piss and then you come back and
(25:08):
you're like, all right, let's go.
I got the nerf that buff that list and I was like, what the
fuck? Like nerf nerf wiping your ass
bro. No flushing the toilet.
Can we buff that buff flush we need?
We need airplane toilets for. Home use where you just press 1
and it goes. That'd be cool.
Borderless suction. Holy shit, that'd actually be
kind. Of sick.
That would be sick. Why don't we do that?
(25:29):
It'd be so loud, everyone would always know you're taking a shit
because it'd be like, you go flush and it goes and then you
just hear it down the pipe. You.
Just say you get shot at the side of your building.
Anyone in the basement would hear it aggressively.
Slap the bottom of the pipe. Well, someone's someone's taking
the shit out of it. Those new aeroplanes toilets,
(25:51):
hey, like I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous of anyone that
has those. It's like there's like, you
know, those pipes, they get likeshoot around like messages and
those old things. You know what?
I. Mean in a tube?
Yeah, and you put your shit in atube.
And then you you just get shot out into.
The ODE. They should make podcast
equipment more expensive. I understand what those comments
(26:11):
are saying there. Those comments are right, my
last one. This is just because I haven't
had one in a while. Yeah, you got to nerve.
Zinger Stackers from KFC. I've been thinking about a
Zinger Stacker, like, all week Ithink.
I think I'm gonna get 1. I think.
They have already nerfed them. They kill you, they give you
like I. Think the nerf is the next day
because the next day is. Rough yeah you always feel bad
after KFC and you always get like, you know, heart failure in
(26:34):
the long run I think that's the nerf yeah but it's good though
the. Nerf needs to be nerfed more
You. Put on a lot of weight when you
eat them all the time. Buffet then.
Sorry, I should have said that, Buffet.
I guess I don't want to feel like shit tomorrow.
Yeah. That's a good.
Point yeah they should buff themyeah well that's how nerf that's
buff that's if you guys got any nerf that buff that's in the
leave a comment down below and then we'll steal them for the
(26:55):
next and then we. And then we can steal.
Them and then we'll read them out and claim them as and
pretend they're yours, but they're.
Actually ours, but they're actually my last minute ones so
I couldn't think of any of them.Quizzard for the Wizzard.
Brace the runners. Raise the sales.
Raise the sales captain. An unidentified ship is
(27:16):
approaching over. Roger, wait, is that an
enterprise sales solution? Reach sales professionals, not
professional sailors, with LinkedIn ads.
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We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign.
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(27:38):
and conditions apply. Shop Woodhouse Hyundai When
looking for your next SUV, like the capable and refined 2025
Hyundai Tucson, visit us.online@woodhousehyundai.com
or Woodhouse Place hyundai.com Today, this week on Quizard for
(28:00):
the Wizard. I'm testing you.
I want to test you on what you value the most in life with a
little game that I've called thyor thee.
It's basically this or that and.Is that even the right word?
No, it's not. It just sounds.
It just sounded wizardy. OK, You know thy or thee sounds
all right. That makes sense.
It's like saying. Him or him?
(28:21):
Me. Or you.
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it is.
It's like that, but it's not that me or you.
Yeah, I or they thy or they so. And It's A Knockout round, so
I'm going to give you like one. I'll be like things you can't
live without. Like those those really annoying
Tik toks were like Sydney, Sweden.
Yeah, exactly. Or Margot Robbie.
Margot Robbie. And you're like, oh, yeah, yeah,
(28:42):
exactly. It's exactly that.
But it's personalized to you. Yeah.
All right, let me let me just find.
OK, Starting off easy, OK? Yeah.
Tim Tams. OK, All those crackers you like
to share with Frank. Fuck.
Oh, it's not that easy. It's actually.
Really, the fantastic frac is a rich flavour.
Yep, if you if fantastic wants to sponsor.
Shut out they're. $2.50 at Kohl's, which is absurdly high
(29:06):
if you if you just. Bring them down.
To like $1.20. Just give them to me for free.
I can only get them on half price.
I'm going with the. Crackers going with the
crackers. Yeah, the crackers are just a
good round meal. Can have them during the day,
you can have them at night, havethem in a little.
Snack. Yeah, that's why.
Yeah, Tim. Tams make you sick if you have
too. Many well, that's what I was.
So I I kind of thought you'll everyone that I put on here.
I think I already kind of know what you're leaning towards, but
(29:26):
I'm I'm interested to see what you're.
Although you know, having a Tim Tam buying off either end and
then sucking. It's not very like a hot coffee,
Yeah. Melting the inside of the Tim.
Tam as I do it every morning, I think it's the best thing.
I don't even give a fuck the TimTams at fucking $610 a pack or
whatever the fuck they are. Yeah, I will do that everyday
for the rest of my life because that's too good.
OK, That's like one of my littlejoys.
(29:46):
Crackers or climbing. You can only have one of these
for the rest of your life. Crackers grow.
Meat, cheese or crackers. OK, well that's really tough too
because I do really enjoy climbing, but I do really love
my little crackers. And frankly, likes a little
cracker's turd. He does actually, now I think
about it. So if you got rid of, I mean, if
(30:07):
I wasn't to climb, I would just do another sport.
So I'm going to say crackers. Fuck yeah.
Cool. Yeah.
Crackers or Red Bull? Well, I'm going to say just.
Remember who's sponsoring you and just remember the you know.
Well, you know, I got a Red Bullright here and I'm not
contractually obligated to say it, but I will.
(30:29):
I haven't signed any contracts. I have to say Red.
Bull, I probably shouldn't have put Red.
You might be a little bit this next one, Red Bull Or a nice
breakfast in the morning with your beloved girlfriend Emma.
Yeah, it's called a Red Bull in the morning.
So. I'll take the Red Bull, thanks.
A nice Red Bull with Emma that can't have red Red Bull.
Yep. So yeah, I think I do like a
(30:53):
nice breakfast. I'm going to say a nice
breakfast in the morning with Emma.
I've got three more, four more on here.
OK, well, let's go through a bitquicker.
OK, OK, nice breakfast in the morning with your beloved
girlfriend Emma, or watching YouTube.
Sometimes I do both of those at the same time.
That's the tricky thing. You can only do 10.
Watching YouTube, OK, I don't think that's that's pretty.
Do you know how I know? I watch so much YouTube my.
(31:16):
I I've like when you get YouTubepremium it shows you like the
amount of time you've saved likewatched ad free YouTube for.
I've had it for like 2 years. I think it's like over 10,000.
Yeah, I don't think it is. Absurd.
It is absurd. Watching YouTube or being a
YouTube? They kind of go hand in hand.
But it's tough. I do really maybe watching
(31:41):
YouTube. Wow over being a YouTube
interesting. I love watching YouTube, but
that's why I love doing YouTube.Yeah, yeah, that's the whole
reason why. Yeah.
Yeah, OK. Fuck watching.
YouTube being that's, I think I would prefer being a YouTube,
yeah. This next one, This next one's
fucked. I always felt bad putting on it
watching YouTube or Frank. Watching YouTube.
(32:03):
Watching YouTube ever Frank or no of.
Course, I'd have to go Frank. I mean, he's the best.
Yeah, fuck enough. Yeah, Frank.
OK. There's another one coming after
Frank now. How good is this?
Is it getting harder and harder?I don't like this Frank or our
friendship. Frank, you didn't even think
about it. It didn't even.
(32:24):
I was going to do Frank or Emma,but I just couldn't do it.
I couldn't. I was like, I'll just do our
friendship. I can take it.
But if you picked Frank. Or Emma, I I that's, that's not
an even that's not even a fair. Question.
No, but. Frank is my life.
Yeah, he is. He is everything.
I can survive without our friendship.
Yeah. Frank can't.
All right. Fuck, yeah.
(32:45):
That was my little game. So at the end of it, Frank is
the thing you might value most in your life.
He's up there. Yeah, he is up there.
For sure he's down there. Yeah, he's pretty good.
He's down there right now. I.
Also feel like obligated to say Frank.
Yeah, Frank or Red Bull. That's tough, That's tough,
that's tough. Who's paying me?
Frank, can you say can you? Frank, can you pay me in?
(33:06):
Can you send? Me on a really cool trip please.
Oh yeah, that was my little game.
Oh, I like that. Yeah, that was good.
That was hard. It was hard.
Psychologically, yeah, difficult.
As I was riding there, it was like, these are going to get
tough, yeah. Being alive or.
Breathing a water, Yeah. Which one do you prefer?
(33:26):
Yeah, they were good. That's good.
Yeah, something weird happened today.
Something kind of scary, kind ofscary a.
Little bit, yeah, we're both kind of a bit shook after it
speak for. Yourself I was like, yeah,
whatever. Jackson kind of created a
Wizards wrath, but like, not us like we were.
(33:48):
Yes, someone else got angry at us.
It was quite funny. Yeah.
We pissed. Us, yeah, it was kind of in time
so. Basically we were driving to
climbing today I. Had one hand on the wheel,
Jackson. Had the other Both of us were
flying flying today and I'm gonna I'm gonna cut it with the
wizard terminologist. Too hard to understand.
Basically, we're driving and climbing today, and at the
(34:10):
traffic stop, you know, the lights are green, but you know,
we had to turn right. And so this van in front of us
pulls into the middle of the intersection to turn right.
Turns out he doesn't have enoughtime.
To do it, there's a car coming. He's.
A car coming, he couldn't turn right.
And so the light turns red and I'm sitting there and I'm like,
this guy, he's probably just going to go once the light goes
red Now, instead, he decides to reverse back.
(34:31):
Meanwhile, we're already there. Yeah.
Yeah, It's a van with the whole back windshield blocked out.
Like he can't see through the back windshield.
And he just starts reversing. And I'm like, this guy can't see
us. Yeah, this guy can't see us.
So I beat the horn. I go Yeah.
And then he keeps reversing back.
And so I just hold the horn. I'm like.
I'm good, brother. Yeah, 2.
(34:51):
Or three seconds and then he stops.
It turns out he had a reverse camera.
So yeah, we did notice. That after the fact.
So I was like, OK, that's good. So we just left it there.
We're like, yeah, that's fine. Anyway, we're kind of like
having a bit of a laugh, like, Oh yeah.
Geez, that was closed. I'll be backed into you.
Yeah, close it. Light goes green, the guy behind
us, but just immediately, as soon as the light goes green
(35:12):
just slams the horn on differentdifferent kind of like
frequency. Yeah, definitely a different
horn. You can definitely tell it's a
different horn from me. He goes me.
Just to tell this guy to go straight away.
This guy goes forward and then he just fucking.
You just see him getting real angry.
So he gets tuned for reversing back.
We're like fuck, don't reverse back.
(35:32):
And then for not he gets tuned for not going forward.
I just thought he'd just be like, he can't do anything
right. You want to drive.
Oh, just let me drive. Let me drive my car.
And so he's driving forward and we have to fucking follow this
guy behind him for a while. And then he puts his arm out the
window waiting at us, waiting uslike gesturing.
And we're like, oh fuck, here wego.
He's gonna, he's going to followus.
And then he sort of like pulls, veers off to the side and pulls
(35:56):
over. And as we're going past him, he
sticks his head out the window. Scary looking guy like Buzz
Cutter dude. Full beard and he's just like.
Looks like he does UFC or something and he just our
windows are up. Yeah, yeah, he's screaming at
us. We're still laughing.
That's. A massive smile on my face.
Because it was so funny having the guy behind us beep this dude
(36:16):
and he's just yelling at us as we drive past.
Look at him smiling like like yeah.
Look how angry he is. Look, he's so angry.
What? A.
Silly guy, he's so angry. And then we put two and two
together and realized he probably thought we tutored
twice at him for reversing back into us and then not going
literally as soon as the light turned great.
And he hated us. Oh.
(36:38):
He was so angry. I just, I can just picture the
whole rest of today. He's going to have the.
Worst like miserable, can't do anything right, second guessing
everything that he's doing. Once, once you like, just start
your morning bad. It's all downhill from there.
He'll be. 9:00 AM yet he hadn't even clocked on.
Like he literally just started his day.
He'll be unloading a box. He'll be like ohh gotta stop.
(36:58):
I mean, deliver this this package to this guy here, I'll
just pull over here and he'll pull over immediately.
Like as he gets the box out someone just starts slamming
their their brakes and like. Pushing them home.
I can't. Bother them?
Oh fuck no. Gets out, steps in dog shit.
Oh fuck I trust the box. Fragile box I.
Can't do anything right. Fuck fuck, we just ruined this
(37:19):
whole guy's day because he was reversing.
Back because he reversed back into us, You know, it was so
funny. Which it was, was scary.
It was scary. He looked fucking angry.
Yeah, he. Waving us down, he wanted, he
would have wanted to fight. I reckon, I reckon we were
laughing about it. We should have pulled over and
going like, yeah, let's go on, let's fight.
Let's go and as soon. As he gets out, we just drive
(37:39):
off. He gets out of his car ready to
go and we just take. And then he gets hit by another.
Car No another. Guy starts Tooting him.
Throw Boots of Swiftness on him,he runs off.
He starts, he starts running after us like the.
Terminator in the back mirror. These hockey like fucking hard
with the hockey sticks. Oh man.
(37:59):
I was just glad that he he wasn't like going to be at the.
Climbing, I know that'd be crazy.
He just pissed off climbing. Then we just climb.
He's better than him. But yeah, that poor guy, you
know, I, I really do feel bad for him because we didn't intend
to ruin his day. Your your horn was like safety
for everyone. You don't want him backing into
you. The boy behind this horn was
like almost I don't feel like that guy knew who we were and
(38:21):
just fucked with this. You know what I mean?
Like, I like this. Literally it was green for like
half a second and he's just like, hurry up.
It's crazy. Oh, it was good.
And then when we were driving, another guy was a green arrow
and he just didn't turn. Remember, they just sat there,
the Green Arrow, and then you had to honk him and he just
didn't go. One thing you got to know about
me is I'm a honker. Yeah, you are.
I'm on the horn. You know, I learnt that real
(38:42):
quick moving to Melbourne. You got to be on the horn all
the time because people do not do not know how to drive in this
city. I'm in no hurry ever.
I'm just chilling bro. Yeah, but it's like, you know,
people don't need to get like, you know, an Audi will be in
front of you or BMW and they'll just merge into your light.
That's you gotta be on the horn.You know, light goes green and
they don't realize they can go. Gotta be on the horn.
(39:03):
I got places to be on the horn. I got This is why the traffic is
so bad in this city, because no one goes when they're supposed.
To go. Yeah, yeah.
You know, you just gotta be, yougotta be a honker.
Gotta be on the horn. But now, now like living, you
know, close to the city. I fucking hate anyone that's on
the horn because you can hear it.
Yeah, why? Why this guy?
Why are you on the horn? Get off the horn.
(39:23):
Double edged sword. You're a horny guy.
Fly. Around him, man.
Well, I said, you're a horny guy.
Well, you fly in four axises, you know, go vertical.
Don't stop going. Horizontal, we've got 4
dimensions of movement, right? Yeah.
Just just go up and. Around him, yeah. 3 dimensions.
3 dimensions, not four. We don't go into like time and.
Space go. Just go back in time.
(39:43):
Just go back in time. To when he wasn't. 20 minutes
and then go around. Like please, you've got 4.
Dimensions. You know, you call yourself a
wizard, they hand out licenses to be a wizard.
Daniel, anyone can get a broom now.
It's bullshit. Anyone can get a broom.
License. You're a horny guy.
I'm just gonna say that joke again.
Yeah, I don't know. I heard you the first time.
(40:04):
I just chose to ignore it. Well, that's all the time we
have on the Wizards Tower. If you'd like to reach the
Wizards, you can send her now tothe Wizards Tower pod@gmail.com
and you can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok, whatever
the hell that is. Anyway, don't forget to grab
your hat, grab your star, and we'll see you on the next
(40:26):
episode of the Wizards Tower.
Raise the rudder, raise the sails, raise the sails.
Captain, an unidentified ship isapproaching over.
Roger, wait, is that an enterprise sales solution?
Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors, With
LinkedIn ads, you can target theright people by industry, job
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at.linkedin.com/results Terms and conditions apply.
The Jeep brand has always stood for American Freedom and now
we're standing with you with employee pricing Plus hurry into
your Jeep brand dealer for details today and join the
family Jeep. There's only one offer valid on
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select 2024 and 2025 Jeep brand vehicles for non FCA employees
and retirees $200 admin fee applies.
Not all buyers will qualify. Restrictions apply.
Does not apply to leases and six. 3025 Jeep is a registered
trademark of FCAUSLLC. Man, you know what I never see
(01:03):
anymore? What's that dude?
Two eyed cyclopses. I haven't seen one of those in
it seems like forever. I've I've never seen one.
Dude, that's a man. That's like a human.
The two eyed cyclops. Think about that.
Oh. Yeah, well, that does make
sense. Idiot.
I mean, I got to get off the potions.
I reckoned. Welcome back to the Wizard's
(01:24):
Tower. The Wizard's Tower.
At the start of the pod this week, I'm just doing a little
bit of house cleaning so everyone can understand what's
what's happening in the in the near future for the pod
(01:46):
probably. The first time you've ever done
house cleaning? Yeah, when I think about it.
Got. Him.
Yeah, The town's a mess. That was disgusting.
No podcast. Next week on The New Way.
No podcast. Catching a broom.
Catching a broom to fly to fire way location, Yeah.
(02:06):
Cool, That's alright. That's sweet.
Alright, sounds. Good, I'm be.
Oh, well, it's still in Australia.
It's not that far away. Yeah, I'll still be in the
country. Why are you being so vague?
I don't know, I don't know. I'm going to Sunshine Coast with
a couple of mates. So OK, gonna be that I guess so.
I guess so. Yeah, so I'm having like a
weekend with my mates. My birthday, that was last week.
Yep. Happy birthday.
Thank you for that. You forgot last week, so I
appreciate you saying it this week.
(02:28):
And then also last week on the podcast, I told a story about my
dad potentially killing a turtle.
Listen to last week's part. Oh, yeah, yeah.
He rang me because he's a fan ofthe party, listens to the
podcast. So does mum.
He rang me and said can you not spread misinformation?
I was like, what are you talkingabout?
He wanted me to apologise for accusing him of animal cruelty.
(02:50):
OK. Hey.
Man, look, the turtle. Died the turtle.
Died. I don't.
Know who did it? He.
It somehow died. I'm not saying it was you.
But but the turtle did die. You were feeding.
A cat food, Yeah. Allegedly allegedly cat food.
So he wanted me to apologise andsay it wasn't 100% his fault.
OK, He wants me to take some blame in it.
As a six year old kid he reckonsI should have went down to
(03:11):
Bunnings and bought the pump myself to make sure the turtle
had a livable environment. And rightfully so.
So I just wanted to clean that up at the start.
I apologise for not taking some of the blame even though.
As a six year old. Child as a six year old child
and. You know, and I was thinking
that I didn't want to say it at the time, but I'm glad somebody
said something because, you know, it was your turtle at the
(03:33):
end of. It it was my turtle.
Exactly right. Exactly right.
Yeah. So apologies to Dad and
apologies for listeners for gaslighting and lying to
everyone. So, yeah, apologies for that.
And then you had you want to start the pod with something as
well, Did I? I don't know.
What am I? Oh, the OK.
Yeah, Did you? OK, I've got a little game.
(03:54):
Oh, OK. Because the last few weeks, I
don't know if we've got a maybe like a little gnome infestation,
maybe living in the walls. OK, I don't wanna say it's Emma.
It could be the gnome, maybe it's Frank.
I'm not sure. Sounds like Emma it.
Seems like every time I put something somewhere, it ends up
in a different location and I don't know how, I don't know
(04:16):
how. So I'm going to give you a few
things that I've I've wanted to grab and you're going to have to
guess which location they were found in.
I'm going to give you some options and you're going to have
to guess which one it was. OK, so this morning I was
looking for my coffee cup as I do every morning I make a coffee
right now. Was it in one of three
(04:40):
locations? Yeah.
Was it a next to the coffee machine?
OK. Like it always is.
Makes sense. It's next to the coffee machine.
I make a coffee, of course it's going to be next to the coffee
machine. There's a shelf above the coffee
machine. The cups go there.
OK. Yeah.
Is it there? Yep.
Is it in the cuppy? It was it.
Sorry. Cuppy is in the cupboard house.
(05:01):
Was it in? Was it in the cupboard it was
moved to above the range hood sothe next shelf over?
Was it in the one that it was then moved to?
From the previous, yeah. So it was originally.
Next to the coffee machine whereit should be.
All the time and. Then it was moved to range hood.
The household decided to move itto behind the above the rooms.
Yeah, OK. Or was it in a separate cupboard
(05:21):
on the very top shelf that you needed a stool to access because
it's so high up? Which one do you think it was
in? Well, if I was a betting man, I
would have said aye, because that's where you would keep it,
where it naturally was in the first spot, use it every day.
Yeah. Where was it?
(05:42):
Believe it or not, it was in a separate cupboard at the very
top shelf. You need a.
Stool. You need a stool.
Something you use every single day and you need a stool?
That's so. Weird.
And then I asked Emma. I was like, how did you even get
it up there? Because she's like 5 foot 15
foot 2, she said. She used the spool to get up
there and I was like. I just threw it up there.
Does that not seem inconvenient to you?
Something I use everyday. Being up there, that's really
(06:03):
fun and. She just didn't.
She just didn't want it in the kitchen.
Or maybe the gnomes. Maybe they just didn't want it
in the. Gnome, you know, it was
probably. Crowding up the place.
OK, so that's one OK, second item.
OK. My keys, my car keys, the keys
to get into the apartment building.
And Emma wouldn't need to move the car keys because she
actually doesn't. She doesn't drive.
She. Doesn't drive and she also has
her own set of keys so I don't know why she'd.
(06:24):
Be she wouldn't have to use yourkeys so.
It must be the. So were they a on my bedside
table where I left them? Spot.
Or B, Were they in the bedside table drawer?
Maybe they'll just put away in the bedside table drawer, you
know, get the clutter out. Or C Were they in the kitchen in
a small ceramic bowl with a lid on it that has never had
(06:44):
anything in it ever? I'm going to guess say because
that sounds like something she would.
Do. Well, actually, you know, it's
funny enough that's actually where they were.
Yeah, yeah. That is exactly where the keys
were in this ceramic bowl that I've never It has a lid on it,
I've never opened it up. My tape measure was in there for
(07:06):
some reason, and so was my keys in this ceramic bowl.
Oh fuck me. Which is apparently it's the
designated key bowl now. Oh OK, that's good.
And tape measure bowl. And tape measure bowl.
Yeah. OK.
Third thing. This one really annoyed me the
other day because I needed this.I had to go to the post office.
So I need my ID. Yeah.
My wallet. Your wallet.
(07:27):
My wallet. OK, interesting.
Where was my wallet? All these all these items seem
to be yours. And they're really fucking
useful items that I use every day as well.
So I put them in a certain spot because I'm like, I'm going to
need that in about two hours. So I'm going to put that here
because I'm going to. Grab it again you're.
Going to grab it again. Yeah, my wallet.
Was it a on the window sill where I left it?
(07:49):
Right next to my wardrobe? You know I get, I get out of my
fucking game. Of Thrones outfit my wizard's.
Attire I get out of my wizard's attire, or my tracksuit, or that
I put real clothes on for outside.
Was it A on the bedside? On the window sill?
Was it in B in the stupid ceramic bowl in the kitchen?
(08:12):
That sounds. Yeah.
Or was it C in a random bag tucked behind my bedside table
with my keys in it? This time, for some reason, my
keys were also in this bag. Oh.
No, Emma, don't be serious. The names not Emma.
So gnomes Noma. Why are the?
Names. I'm like, I'm like, where's my
(08:33):
wallet? Oh, it's in this.
It's in this bag with my keys aswell.
Actually, she put it just in a random bag.
Yeah, it's just a random. Bag.
That's funny, he's the gnomes man.
Right next to there could. Have been that Mike see he's
probably pissed off he's trappedin that I mean.
It could very well be. I'm not saying it.
I don't think it. Was you're not.
We're not accusing. Him.
We're not accusing anybody. Could be the gnomes.
Could be the gnomes, could be the walls eyes if you hear that.
(08:57):
OK, it could be. I don't know.
All right. And lastly, OK, we've got the
cereal. OK, you're.
Going to have to kiss this one. OK, the cereal belongs in the
cupboard. Yep, the.
Cereal belongs in the cupboard. Yep, but it's which shelf was
it? Was it on?
OK, now everyone has their wardrobe, their cupboards, you
know, arranged in different. No, no two cupboards are the
(09:19):
same. No, I'd say there's a general
rule of cupboardness. Most used stuff probably at head
height and then progressively getting less.
Useful up and down, heavier stuff towards the bottom.
That's right. OK, so the cereal, the
Nutrigrain specifically, was it on the shelf with all the other
cereal That's a that sounds. Yeah, sounds seems like a
(09:40):
reasonable. That seems like a good.
Place to put it. That's where it was yesterday.
Was it B on the shelf with the long life milk?
See, that's not too bad either. Yeah, I kind of get that, yeah.
Even though it should be probably with the other cereal
that. Makes the most sense.
Or C Was it behind all of the spices and cereal yesterday?
(10:04):
Behind the spices, the lace oil,behind the fucking flour, behind
the sugar, everything. Like naughty I'm trying to get.
Yeah, this little guy, Mr. Tum Tum came out.
He's like, what are you looking?For your Nutri grain now just.
Playing his like pan pipe, like his thing, he's like, oh, you're
(10:24):
looking for your Nutri. Answer these riddles 3.
Oh, the ice which got it. She's got your nutrigrain.
You're gonna have to go to the ice.
Kingdom, Oh my fucking God. I just want my nutrigrain me
fucking long life. Milk's in here too.
It's frozen. It's in the ice.
It's been bloody frozen as well.I'm gonna have to defrost that
too. Emma, where'd you leave my
cereal? I just left it on the mountain
(10:45):
next next to the ice which is cast.
Well, we just want to put it. Away.
Yeah, we have to put. One over.
So we don't want people to know that you have Nutrigrain, so
we're putting it behind the oil and the spices.
I think that's sorry, funny. I think it's crazy because
living with Matthew and his fiancee Lauren, similar
situation. Yeah.
People coming over and just like, oh, you can tidy up your
bathroom. Yeah.
No, I just tidy my bathroom. And he's like, I'm just gonna
put your stuff just in the cupboard underneath.
(11:06):
I'm like, what are you scared of?
People know that I brush my teeth.
You. You terrified that people are
aware you. Don't want people?
Know sorry, buddy. Fair enough.
Be razors and like, all that sort of stuff that they were
charging, like, you know, you want to put them away.
I get that. Yeah.
But like, really. Like, do you not want people to
know I exist? Like, just shut my bedroom door.
Go and Potter. Under the under the.
Stairs. Yeah.
Stay in your room. Don't come back.
(11:29):
He's troubled. He's a troubled boy.
It's the cat. The cat.
You're like rustling. He's someone.
Brushing their teeth, he's the. Cat Yeah, I don't know what it.
Is Oh my God, it's just so I, I remember like listening to my
dad growing up and laughing at him and being like, ha, like
that's. Silly is old married couples.
(11:49):
That never happened to me. I get it.
Yeah, I get it. I'm trying to think I feel like
dad does it to mom. I don't know if mom does it to
dad. I think it's like role reversed
in their relationship. Just fucks because puts it
doesn't on purpose. Just a mess with her because he
who did it to me, he'll go into my room and grab my car keys and
then like go take my car to the shops or something and then come
back. Instead of putting my car, the
(12:10):
keys back where he found it, just hangs them up with the rest
of the car keys. Which I'm like, yeah, I get it.
But like, I don't live here. I don't want my keys mixed with
your keys bro. Back in my room.
You left that story, that key element out.
He takes your car and then puts them.
OK, that kind of makes sense. I thought he would just take
them out of your room and then just put them on the rack.
I was like, that's. That is weird.
(12:31):
That is weird. That would be funny.
I can kind of get that. It's not like.
Anyone put my clothes away though, you know what I mean?
Point. Yeah, he wears them, He puts
them. He puts them on, goes out numb,
and then he hangs. Them on the tea shelf.
Outside. I think my dad's losing it,
actually. I think about it.
He's just going. Crazy killing turtles.
Killing turtles? Where are my clothes?
(12:52):
Sorry. Darn, it's like a buddy nerf.
That. Buff.
That. Does it ever feel like you're a
marketing professional just speaking into the boy boy?
Well, with LinkedIn ads, you canknow you're reaching the right
decision makers. You can even target buyers by
(13:14):
job title, industry, company seniority, skills.
Wait, did I say job title yet? Get started today and see how
you can avoid the void and reachthe right buyers with LinkedIn
ads. We'll even give you a $100
credit on your next campaign. Get started
at.linkedin.com/results Terms and conditions apply.
(13:36):
Nerf that, buff that. This is the game where we talk
about things that are in real life that need a nerf, which are
overpowered, too good to be true, yeah, or need a buff,
which are not very good and needto be increased in.
Need to be improved. Improved.
But yeah, you know, like video games nerfing something, buffing
something. Yeah, it's a video.
Video Terminology. Terminology, I think people.
It's called the Wizards. I don't know if you know that.
So Wizards are this thing, right?
(13:57):
Where they're like normal people, but they're magical.
I'm worried, like I'm worried that our our audience isn't
nerdy enough to know what the nerf that buff that is, you
know, would literally call the Wizards tower and dress up as
Wizards. But this, this is my first one
buff hanging clothes on the line.
Oh OK, takes way too long. Yeah, it really does.
You'd think it's this point in society and you know, as a
(14:21):
civilization we would have foundbetter ways to.
Dry clothes, it's ridiculous. I think clothes dryer, I think
we talked about last time talking about.
Yeah, clothes dryers. Yeah, I understand that.
But like, I understand there's things called dry eyes.
I understand you can put your clothes in there, but they
shrink. We were talking about that last
time that that was one of your bedroom shrink.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I'm saying like that does. I hang out one week's worth of
clothes. My arms get tired from hanging
out my clothes on. Yeah, man, I was like towards
(14:42):
you. I'm like, fuck, I've lifted up
like a third pair of trackies. My arms are sore.
Bro this is getting ridiculous. I think my wife should do this.
I should be doing this too hard for me.
They're used to lifting babies, lifting babies, putting putting
clothes on the line. That's the bottom of this action
going on. Why am I doing that?
I know the perfect bath. Get someone else to do it, get
my wife to do it. But then I was thinking like,
(15:03):
like, my sister has so many kids.
My mum was one of eight. Like that would be just
ridiculous. Your arm, your show.
My grandma's grandma's fucking shoulders are just jacked from
can't. Be good at climbing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's just gone back from
hanging clothes up. It's just like hanging clothes.
(15:23):
It's just like hanging clothes Dino's up to.
Yeah, she's like, she's like lift get doing a really hard
climb. She's like, this is like when I
gotta hang out the jackets, but they're like still soaked with
water. This is just like hanging out
the towels. He's like he's got pegs in her
hands to peg up to the next climb.
Yeah, that'd be awesome. Yeah, that's my, that's one of
my buffs. All right, I've got, I've got
another buff as well to keep to compliment your buff, buff
(15:47):
morning alarms. Okay, I think, I think they need
just like a bed that ejects you out, honestly, like the hospital
bed, but it's the whole bed and just goes and then you're just
standing up and you're like, allright, I'm gonna get out of bed,
I guess. You need some Wallace and Gromit
type invention. You have to make your I.
Slide down to the second story, my clothes come up and I get.
That be fall. Straight into my trousers.
(16:08):
That would be unreal. That would be really good.
Yeah, that's good. I like that.
Yeah, I think so too. I put my phone on the other side
of my room. I get out of bed, grab my phone,
turn the alarm off, get back into bed.
I know it's. Just it's it doesn't matter.
I thought I was trying to buff it.
Honestly, I think even then if the bed lifted up and I was I
just was standing, I'd probably just sleep on the I'd just grab
(16:30):
my blanket and then sleep on thefloor.
Probably turn my alarm off. Yeah, so I think you need a
buff. I don't know if the alarms need
a buff. You're.
Buffing my motivation. This this one's I like this one
buff people in front of me. I want their movement speed to
be increased by like a 15% When I'm walking down the street and
there's someone walking slow in front of me and like swaying
back to and like walking all over the place.
(16:52):
I need that movement speed to beincreased.
I need them to have some boost of swiftness.
I need them to I don't know whatit is like a new.
Potion of Swiftness. On splash potions they've run
into oncoming traffic. They're like looking that way.
They just get hit. You just hit them with a splash
potion of swiftness, like looking over there, and they
just run it off. Oh well, bubble.
Oh God, Oh my God, that'd be. Somebody splashed it with
(17:17):
swiftness and you're like. Oh, what the hell.
But. Everyone in the crowd gathers
over onto the road to. Help.
And then you've got a clear, clear pathway through.
Yeah, I like that. That's good.
I like that splash portion of Swiftness.
Some people just enjoy taking the scenic route, you know some.
People just enjoy life. They just, they're just living
these ones like look. Go to the shops and people just
slowly strutting, just walking around.
(17:39):
Oh stop horrifying me. Oh look at that.
JJ's has got new fucking pants. Oh, have they got a new?
Have they got a new T-shirt withNaruto on it?
You're telling me, oh, we're doing that?
Oh Oh well, they acquired the licensing to Hellraiser.
Oh, let's have a look at the thegraphic Tees in JJ.
'S I'm saying, I'm saying those people, they should have already
(18:00):
been looking it up online, picked exactly what they need,
outgoing in. I'm with you on that.
I'm with you. I think I'm exactly.
Looking at shit, get out of my way.
Yeah, what I'm saying. I've already cross referenced
this with six other stores online.
I know that this one is the one with the best deal.
I'm going in I'm. Going to be right?
Do you not have anything else todo?
The salesman always gets shocked.
I always go into like Harvey Norman or something.
They're like, OK, so you're looking at toasters.
(18:20):
OK, so there's obviously this. I want that one.
What? I've already picked that one out
OK. So that one's really good, but
we actually also have. I know it is, I've looked
everything up. I want that one.
Are you OK? Are you?
Sure, I want that's. Yep, I've looked it up.
I've done the math. I'm not here to browse.
OK, I want that one. All right, I'll get that one.
And I don't want a warranty. Let me just check if there's any
in. Stock real quick.
I want to. I actually want that.
(18:42):
One I know there's stock online,there's 1010 plus out of the
back. Just fucking get.
Just get. I've done your job for you.
Yeah, I've already sold it to myyou.
Don't even need to sell me, I'vewatched 15 YouTube videos.
I'll see this. Weird.
Guy, some weird guy who's like, you know, like toaster reviews
and like that's his whole channel and he's really.
Experienced. He knows what he's doing.
I know that this is. Marcus Brown, He's got a 15
(19:03):
minute on why this is the best toaster I need to this one
that's good as. My go, I think it's my go.
All right, I got another one here.
Buff plane rides. It's been this long and it still
takes an hour and a half to get from Sydney to Melbourne and
Melbourne to Sydney, dude. I got buff.
Airplanes should shouldn't take three days to get to fucking.
(19:23):
I've got that on my things. Oh my God.
Look at us. That's what I say.
I think all that need to be buffed then.
Yeah, I do think that plane rides need to be buffed also.
Can we just make them a little bit cheaper, please?
Yeah. Everywhere else in the world,
this is an Australian specific thing.
Everywhere in the world has like$50 flights, $100 flights.
Yeah. To travel an hour or two hours,
it's like nearly $300 one way. Yeah, sometimes just to get from
(19:47):
Melbourne to Sydney. Dude from Melbourne to Sunny
Coast, 400 bucks $450. Why I can go to Japan for 800
returns that's. Ridiculous.
I'm literally leaving the country.
I can literally go to Canada forlike 1200, yeah, return.
And it's like, and for some reason it's almost cost that
much to go 2 hours. I have a stopover in Sydney to
(20:09):
go to Canada. Yeah, and.
And that's where the money is going.
Can't you just like? What do you mean?
If you flew from Sydney, it's actually 300 bucks, but flying
from Melbourne to Sydney, that'swhere the $900.
And you'd think being that expensive and that shit of a way
to travel, there wouldn't be that many people doing it.
I've always I've always got to be sitting in in row 23 or 24.
Middle. Yeah, Middle J seat.
(20:30):
Now this, because of this is a very full flight.
We need everybody to put their bags away in overhead.
And if there's no room, put it, put it under your seat.
Why there's so many people on this plane?
Go home. Why is everyone catching the
6:00 AM plane? Oh, probably because it's
fucking $20 cheaper than catching it at midday.
I saw a ticked off a girl standing in line at 4:00 AM
miserable and she's like, we just, we got a flight for $20
(20:53):
cheaper. We're so happy right now.
They're just miserable at 4:00 AM.
But then it's actually like absurdly different prices.
It's like, oh, you can you catchit for $294.00 at 6:00 AM?
Yeah. Or you catch it for $840 one
way. It's you get it at at 10 AM,
It's not like ridiculous. It's such a joke.
(21:13):
Flying in Australia is like crazy.
It sucks, it sucks, it sucks. That we're like, we're not even
on fucking. I feel like we're not even a
part of the planet sometimes. Yeah, it's like 3 days to get
to. We are an isolated island in the
middle of no sucks. It's kind of good, but like the
we have like a monopoly on everything too.
Like monopoly on the grocery stores.
(21:33):
That's why everything's so expensive.
And we have a monopoly on flights.
That's why there's it's so expensive.
Everything's owned by the same guys.
Yeah. It's fucked up.
Anyway, this isn't nerf anyway, what's what's the next?
Nerf billionaires. Nerf monopolies.
Can we nerf monopolies please? Can we?
Go and pass. Go.
It's too much. Go to jail.
There's one nerf hanging out with the boys.
(21:54):
It's too good. It's too good, man.
Yeah, I get hanging out with theboys.
It's too good. That should be bad.
It should be bad, it should be alittle bit worse.
You don't keep wanting to do it.Yeah, you just got to invite
that one, mate. That's like, really?
Miserable all the time. That's a good point.
That always I'll just be. That always just brings his
girlfriend. She just doesn't fit the same
vibe at all. Yeah, that'll nerf it.
(22:15):
That's that. Nerves it all.
Yeah, you'll be watching like Die Hard Four and like, can we
just put on secret lives and more than wives, please?
And you'd be like, oh man, why does she keep coming?
You guys have all week together.This is a boy happening.
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I got buff airplanes.
Hanging out with her and she keeps.
Clearly doesn't enjoy it. Why do you keep going to these
(22:35):
things? OK, I've got buff hot showers.
Buff hot showers. Cold showers give you so many
benefits. Why not hot showers?
How is that fair? Yeah.
Cold shower like increases your.Heart rate by three. 100% which
which in the long term, why can't give you 5 more years?
Yeah, why can't? Warm showers do that.
Why can't I be comfortable? Yeah, have a nice hot shower and
(22:58):
still get the benefits of a culture.
Buff warm baths. I don't want to do ice baths.
Buff warm baths. Maybe you gotta have it really
fucking hot. Yeah, like a sauna.
Yeah, that's probably what it is.
You need a sauna? Yeah, yeah.
Nerf boiling water, bro. Can we?
Can we nerf that please? Can we make it not so hot?
Can we make boiling water not not as hot as it?
Is oh, yeah. He's, he's no one buff.
(23:21):
People's spatial awareness, especially in shopping centres.
Yeah. I almost ran over three people
last week with my cage because they're just like on either on
their phone, not looking or justlike turning corners without
checking. They're just like, yeah, anyway.
And then just like looking at you and turning a corner and
you're like, bro, what are you doing?
Yeah, look where you're going. I don't know if it's a it's a
Melbourne specific thing. It is.
(23:42):
There's that many people if you go shopping past 4:00 PM.
It's mental. It is a nightmare.
There are. It's like a war zone.
They do. People everywhere, they need to
start putting indicators on yourshopping trolley.
Yeah, there are people. Yeah, they're just bugging.
I'm just going to turn. Good luck everybody.
Else it is crazy. It is like a war zone.
Every single time I'm going to Emma, I'm like, bravo skirt, get
(24:05):
the spinach, get the spinach. I'll meet you rendezvous at the
fucking chicken aisle and then I'm going to get the chicken
breast. We went out of people go back.
Someone gets blown up at the pastry aisle.
Oh, is this a nice croissant? Holy shit, go get to the fucking
bread. Grab the home brand bread.
No, no, not the one to bread. Get the home brand.
(24:26):
We're putting it in the freezer.We're putting it in the freezer.
It is mental. Yeah.
Shopping. Shopping's insane can.
You tell me we don't really likeshopping that much.
And then have you got another one?
I got one, I got 1. Yeah, I've got one more.
Came up with this one all by myself.
Yeah, totally didn't keep givingit.
OK, nerf the last minute. You know, do.
(24:46):
You get that? Let me.
Do you want me to explain that to?
Well you don't have to cause I thought of it and gave it to
you, but you can definitely explain it.
OK, I think that I personally think, yeah, too much is getting
done last minute, you know, camewith that I all by myself.
For example, Jackson's nerf thatbuff that list.
I did that in the two minutes before the podcast.
I can you do I think you like what took a piss and he's like,
I'm just gonna go take a piss and then you come back and
(25:08):
you're like, all right, let's go.
I got the nerf that buff that list and I was like, what the
fuck? Like nerf nerf wiping your ass
bro. No flushing the toilet.
Can we buff that buff flush we need?
We need airplane toilets for. Home use where you just press 1
and it goes. That'd be cool.
Borderless suction. Holy shit, that'd actually be
kind. Of sick.
That would be sick. Why don't we do that?
(25:29):
It'd be so loud, everyone would always know you're taking a shit
because it'd be like, you go flush and it goes and then you
just hear it down the pipe. You.
Just say you get shot at the side of your building.
Anyone in the basement would hear it aggressively.
Slap the bottom of the pipe. Well, someone's someone's taking
the shit out of it. Those new aeroplanes toilets,
(25:51):
hey, like I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous of anyone that
has those. It's like there's like, you
know, those pipes, they get likeshoot around like messages and
those old things. You know what?
I. Mean in a tube?
Yeah, and you put your shit in atube.
And then you you just get shot out into.
The ODE. They should make podcast
equipment more expensive. I understand what those comments
(26:11):
are saying there. Those comments are right, my
last one. This is just because I haven't
had one in a while. Yeah, you got to nerve.
Zinger Stackers from KFC. I've been thinking about a
Zinger Stacker, like, all week Ithink.
I think I'm gonna get 1. I think.
They have already nerfed them. They kill you, they give you
like I. Think the nerf is the next day
because the next day is. Rough yeah you always feel bad
after KFC and you always get like, you know, heart failure in
(26:34):
the long run I think that's the nerf yeah but it's good though
the. Nerf needs to be nerfed more
You. Put on a lot of weight when you
eat them all the time. Buffet then.
Sorry, I should have said that, Buffet.
I guess I don't want to feel like shit tomorrow.
Yeah. That's a good.
Point yeah they should buff themyeah well that's how nerf that's
buff that's if you guys got any nerf that buff that's in the
leave a comment down below and then we'll steal them for the
(26:55):
next and then we. And then we can steal.
Them and then we'll read them out and claim them as and
pretend they're yours, but they're.
Actually ours, but they're actually my last minute ones so
I couldn't think of any of them.Quizzard for the Wizzard.
Brace the runners. Raise the sales.
Raise the sales captain. An unidentified ship is
(27:16):
approaching over. Roger, wait, is that an
enterprise sales solution? Reach sales professionals, not
professional sailors, with LinkedIn ads.
You can target the right people by industry, job title and more.
We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign.
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(27:38):
and conditions apply. Shop Woodhouse Hyundai When
looking for your next SUV, like the capable and refined 2025
Hyundai Tucson, visit us.online@woodhousehyundai.com
or Woodhouse Place hyundai.com Today, this week on Quizard for
(28:00):
the Wizard. I'm testing you.
I want to test you on what you value the most in life with a
little game that I've called thyor thee.
It's basically this or that and.Is that even the right word?
No, it's not. It just sounds.
It just sounded wizardy. OK, You know thy or thee sounds
all right. That makes sense.
It's like saying. Him or him?
(28:21):
Me. Or you.
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it is.
It's like that, but it's not that me or you.
Yeah, I or they thy or they so. And It's A Knockout round, so
I'm going to give you like one. I'll be like things you can't
live without. Like those those really annoying
Tik toks were like Sydney, Sweden.
Yeah, exactly. Or Margot Robbie.
Margot Robbie. And you're like, oh, yeah, yeah,
(28:42):
exactly. It's exactly that.
But it's personalized to you. Yeah.
All right, let me let me just find.
OK, Starting off easy, OK? Yeah.
Tim Tams. OK, All those crackers you like
to share with Frank. Fuck.
Oh, it's not that easy. It's actually.
Really, the fantastic frac is a rich flavour.
Yep, if you if fantastic wants to sponsor.
Shut out they're. $2.50 at Kohl's, which is absurdly high
(29:06):
if you if you just. Bring them down.
To like $1.20. Just give them to me for free.
I can only get them on half price.
I'm going with the. Crackers going with the
crackers. Yeah, the crackers are just a
good round meal. Can have them during the day,
you can have them at night, havethem in a little.
Snack. Yeah, that's why.
Yeah, Tim. Tams make you sick if you have
too. Many well, that's what I was.
So I I kind of thought you'll everyone that I put on here.
I think I already kind of know what you're leaning towards, but
(29:26):
I'm I'm interested to see what you're.
Although you know, having a Tim Tam buying off either end and
then sucking. It's not very like a hot coffee,
Yeah. Melting the inside of the Tim.
Tam as I do it every morning, I think it's the best thing.
I don't even give a fuck the TimTams at fucking $610 a pack or
whatever the fuck they are. Yeah, I will do that everyday
for the rest of my life because that's too good.
OK, That's like one of my littlejoys.
(29:46):
Crackers or climbing. You can only have one of these
for the rest of your life. Crackers grow.
Meat, cheese or crackers. OK, well that's really tough too
because I do really enjoy climbing, but I do really love
my little crackers. And frankly, likes a little
cracker's turd. He does actually, now I think
about it. So if you got rid of, I mean, if
(30:07):
I wasn't to climb, I would just do another sport.
So I'm going to say crackers. Fuck yeah.
Cool. Yeah.
Crackers or Red Bull? Well, I'm going to say just.
Remember who's sponsoring you and just remember the you know.
Well, you know, I got a Red Bullright here and I'm not
contractually obligated to say it, but I will.
(30:29):
I haven't signed any contracts. I have to say Red.
Bull, I probably shouldn't have put Red.
You might be a little bit this next one, Red Bull Or a nice
breakfast in the morning with your beloved girlfriend Emma.
Yeah, it's called a Red Bull in the morning.
So. I'll take the Red Bull, thanks.
A nice Red Bull with Emma that can't have red Red Bull.
Yep. So yeah, I think I do like a
(30:53):
nice breakfast. I'm going to say a nice
breakfast in the morning with Emma.
I've got three more, four more on here.
OK, well, let's go through a bitquicker.
OK, OK, nice breakfast in the morning with your beloved
girlfriend Emma, or watching YouTube.
Sometimes I do both of those at the same time.
That's the tricky thing. You can only do 10.
Watching YouTube, OK, I don't think that's that's pretty.
Do you know how I know? I watch so much YouTube my.
(31:16):
I I've like when you get YouTubepremium it shows you like the
amount of time you've saved likewatched ad free YouTube for.
I've had it for like 2 years. I think it's like over 10,000.
Yeah, I don't think it is. Absurd.
It is absurd. Watching YouTube or being a
YouTube? They kind of go hand in hand.
But it's tough. I do really maybe watching
(31:41):
YouTube. Wow over being a YouTube
interesting. I love watching YouTube, but
that's why I love doing YouTube.Yeah, yeah, that's the whole
reason why. Yeah.
Yeah, OK. Fuck watching.
YouTube being that's, I think I would prefer being a YouTube,
yeah. This next one, This next one's
fucked. I always felt bad putting on it
watching YouTube or Frank. Watching YouTube.
(32:03):
Watching YouTube ever Frank or no of.
Course, I'd have to go Frank. I mean, he's the best.
Yeah, fuck enough. Yeah, Frank.
OK. There's another one coming after
Frank now. How good is this?
Is it getting harder and harder?I don't like this Frank or our
friendship. Frank, you didn't even think
about it. It didn't even.
(32:24):
I was going to do Frank or Emma,but I just couldn't do it.
I couldn't. I was like, I'll just do our
friendship. I can take it.
But if you picked Frank. Or Emma, I I that's, that's not
an even that's not even a fair. Question.
No, but. Frank is my life.
Yeah, he is. He is everything.
I can survive without our friendship.
Yeah. Frank can't.
All right. Fuck, yeah.
(32:45):
That was my little game. So at the end of it, Frank is
the thing you might value most in your life.
He's up there. Yeah, he is up there.
For sure he's down there. Yeah, he's pretty good.
He's down there right now. I.
Also feel like obligated to say Frank.
Yeah, Frank or Red Bull. That's tough, That's tough,
that's tough. Who's paying me?
Frank, can you say can you? Frank, can you pay me in?
(33:06):
Can you send? Me on a really cool trip please.
Oh yeah, that was my little game.
Oh, I like that. Yeah, that was good.
That was hard. It was hard.
Psychologically, yeah, difficult.
As I was riding there, it was like, these are going to get
tough, yeah. Being alive or.
Breathing a water, Yeah. Which one do you prefer?
(33:26):
Yeah, they were good. That's good.
Yeah, something weird happened today.
Something kind of scary, kind ofscary a.
Little bit, yeah, we're both kind of a bit shook after it
speak for. Yourself I was like, yeah,
whatever. Jackson kind of created a
Wizards wrath, but like, not us like we were.
(33:48):
Yes, someone else got angry at us.
It was quite funny. Yeah.
We pissed. Us, yeah, it was kind of in time
so. Basically we were driving to
climbing today I. Had one hand on the wheel,
Jackson. Had the other Both of us were
flying flying today and I'm gonna I'm gonna cut it with the
wizard terminologist. Too hard to understand.
Basically, we're driving and climbing today, and at the
(34:10):
traffic stop, you know, the lights are green, but you know,
we had to turn right. And so this van in front of us
pulls into the middle of the intersection to turn right.
Turns out he doesn't have enoughtime.
To do it, there's a car coming. He's.
A car coming, he couldn't turn right.
And so the light turns red and I'm sitting there and I'm like,
this guy, he's probably just going to go once the light goes
red Now, instead, he decides to reverse back.
(34:31):
Meanwhile, we're already there. Yeah.
Yeah, It's a van with the whole back windshield blocked out.
Like he can't see through the back windshield.
And he just starts reversing. And I'm like, this guy can't see
us. Yeah, this guy can't see us.
So I beat the horn. I go Yeah.
And then he keeps reversing back.
And so I just hold the horn. I'm like.
I'm good, brother. Yeah, 2.
(34:51):
Or three seconds and then he stops.
It turns out he had a reverse camera.
So yeah, we did notice. That after the fact.
So I was like, OK, that's good. So we just left it there.
We're like, yeah, that's fine. Anyway, we're kind of like
having a bit of a laugh, like, Oh yeah.
Geez, that was closed. I'll be backed into you.
Yeah, close it. Light goes green, the guy behind
us, but just immediately, as soon as the light goes green
(35:12):
just slams the horn on differentdifferent kind of like
frequency. Yeah, definitely a different
horn. You can definitely tell it's a
different horn from me. He goes me.
Just to tell this guy to go straight away.
This guy goes forward and then he just fucking.
You just see him getting real angry.
So he gets tuned for reversing back.
We're like fuck, don't reverse back.
(35:32):
And then for not he gets tuned for not going forward.
I just thought he'd just be like, he can't do anything
right. You want to drive.
Oh, just let me drive. Let me drive my car.
And so he's driving forward and we have to fucking follow this
guy behind him for a while. And then he puts his arm out the
window waiting at us, waiting uslike gesturing.
And we're like, oh fuck, here wego.
He's gonna, he's going to followus.
And then he sort of like pulls, veers off to the side and pulls
(35:56):
over. And as we're going past him, he
sticks his head out the window. Scary looking guy like Buzz
Cutter dude. Full beard and he's just like.
Looks like he does UFC or something and he just our
windows are up. Yeah, yeah, he's screaming at
us. We're still laughing.
That's. A massive smile on my face.
Because it was so funny having the guy behind us beep this dude
(36:16):
and he's just yelling at us as we drive past.
Look at him smiling like like yeah.
Look how angry he is. Look, he's so angry.
What? A.
Silly guy, he's so angry. And then we put two and two
together and realized he probably thought we tutored
twice at him for reversing back into us and then not going
literally as soon as the light turned great.
And he hated us. Oh.
(36:38):
He was so angry. I just, I can just picture the
whole rest of today. He's going to have the.
Worst like miserable, can't do anything right, second guessing
everything that he's doing. Once, once you like, just start
your morning bad. It's all downhill from there.
He'll be. 9:00 AM yet he hadn't even clocked on.
Like he literally just started his day.
He'll be unloading a box. He'll be like ohh gotta stop.
(36:58):
I mean, deliver this this package to this guy here, I'll
just pull over here and he'll pull over immediately.
Like as he gets the box out someone just starts slamming
their their brakes and like. Pushing them home.
I can't. Bother them?
Oh fuck no. Gets out, steps in dog shit.
Oh fuck I trust the box. Fragile box I.
Can't do anything right. Fuck fuck, we just ruined this
(37:19):
whole guy's day because he was reversing.
Back because he reversed back into us, You know, it was so
funny. Which it was, was scary.
It was scary. He looked fucking angry.
Yeah, he. Waving us down, he wanted, he
would have wanted to fight. I reckon, I reckon we were
laughing about it. We should have pulled over and
going like, yeah, let's go on, let's fight.
Let's go and as soon. As he gets out, we just drive
(37:39):
off. He gets out of his car ready to
go and we just take. And then he gets hit by another.
Car No another. Guy starts Tooting him.
Throw Boots of Swiftness on him,he runs off.
He starts, he starts running after us like the.
Terminator in the back mirror. These hockey like fucking hard
with the hockey sticks. Oh man.
(37:59):
I was just glad that he he wasn't like going to be at the.
Climbing, I know that'd be crazy.
He just pissed off climbing. Then we just climb.
He's better than him. But yeah, that poor guy, you
know, I, I really do feel bad for him because we didn't intend
to ruin his day. Your your horn was like safety
for everyone. You don't want him backing into
you. The boy behind this horn was
like almost I don't feel like that guy knew who we were and
(38:21):
just fucked with this. You know what I mean?
Like, I like this. Literally it was green for like
half a second and he's just like, hurry up.
It's crazy. Oh, it was good.
And then when we were driving, another guy was a green arrow
and he just didn't turn. Remember, they just sat there,
the Green Arrow, and then you had to honk him and he just
didn't go. One thing you got to know about
me is I'm a honker. Yeah, you are.
I'm on the horn. You know, I learnt that real
(38:42):
quick moving to Melbourne. You got to be on the horn all
the time because people do not do not know how to drive in this
city. I'm in no hurry ever.
I'm just chilling bro. Yeah, but it's like, you know,
people don't need to get like, you know, an Audi will be in
front of you or BMW and they'll just merge into your light.
That's you gotta be on the horn.You know, light goes green and
they don't realize they can go. Gotta be on the horn.
(39:03):
I got places to be on the horn. I got This is why the traffic is
so bad in this city, because no one goes when they're supposed.
To go. Yeah, yeah.
You know, you just gotta be, yougotta be a honker.
Gotta be on the horn. But now, now like living, you
know, close to the city. I fucking hate anyone that's on
the horn because you can hear it.
Yeah, why? Why this guy?
Why are you on the horn? Get off the horn.
(39:23):
Double edged sword. You're a horny guy.
Fly. Around him, man.
Well, I said, you're a horny guy.
Well, you fly in four axises, you know, go vertical.
Don't stop going. Horizontal, we've got 4
dimensions of movement, right? Yeah.
Just just go up and. Around him, yeah. 3 dimensions.
3 dimensions, not four. We don't go into like time and.
Space go. Just go back in time.
(39:43):
Just go back in time. To when he wasn't. 20 minutes
and then go around. Like please, you've got 4.
Dimensions. You know, you call yourself a
wizard, they hand out licenses to be a wizard.
Daniel, anyone can get a broom now.
It's bullshit. Anyone can get a broom.
License. You're a horny guy.
I'm just gonna say that joke again.
Yeah, I don't know. I heard you the first time.
(40:04):
I just chose to ignore it. Well, that's all the time we
have on the Wizards Tower. If you'd like to reach the
Wizards, you can send her now tothe Wizards Tower pod@gmail.com
and you can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok, whatever
the hell that is. Anyway, don't forget to grab
your hat, grab your star, and we'll see you on the next
(40:26):
episode of the Wizards Tower.
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