47: The Worst Dog In Movie History

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Episode Transcript

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Acast.com. I have had an absolute weekend,
I'll tell you. Right.
Oh yeah. What's happened?
I found a genie bottle. Oh, actually, yeah, yeah, no, it
was really lucky. Except he laid out the rules to
me. 3 wishes. Yeah, pretty standard.

(01:47):
That's good. Except that can only be one
word. Right.
OK, so. It was pretty hard to get
descriptive. Yes.
What? What'd you, what'd you wish for?
Was it? The first wish, you know, to try
and be as specific as I said, money.
Oh, yeah, Yep, that makes sense.And he gave me a dollar.
OK. And then I asked, I just said
more. Yep, he gave me a second dollar.
Yeah, not great. What was what was your third?

(02:09):
Look, at this point I was prettyupset so I just said fuck.
Right. And then what'd you wish for
after that though? That was my 3 wishes.
Oh oh. Look, it was.
Yeah. I don't, I don't want to talk
about it, man. Welcome back to the Wizards
Tower. It was.
I'm not happy. About that, I don't want to talk
about it. The Wizards Tower.

(02:41):
I got an absolute deal this thisweekend.
Just pass it. Absolute steal.
And no, it wasn't the genie, butit kind of almost felt like the
genie granted a a fourth week a little bit.
So I went into a nondescript hi-fi electronics store.
Nondescript. Could be any hi-fi electronics.

(03:02):
Can I have a guess? Sure.
JB Hi-fi. Look, I'm not going to confirm
nor deny the allegations. I don't know.
I don't want to get anyone in trouble.
Yeah, specify what store. OK.
So it's not definitely not that one.
Though, Yeah, but for for the longest time, you know, I've
been Emma and I have been doing this thing where we we watch TVI
don't know if you do this at home.
Do you watch TV? Not with my girlfriend, OK?

(03:24):
Well. OK so lame we imagine having a
girlfriend who's who's here so. We've been watching Breaking
Bad, Yeah, and we just finished it.
Perfect. Yeah, Excellent, Excellent.
One of the best, if not they and.
Was like, I thought was gonna have a happy ending.
Like what do you think would happen?
She was like, I thought Hank would start selling meth with
them. And I was like, that is the

(03:45):
craziest, craziest way the plot could have gone.
Oh my God, be inside. That would be.
Pretty cool, I wanna spin off ofthat.
You're selling crystal meth. They're minerals.
It's mineral meth. What's his wife's name?
Marine always yells at it. Marine, Marine.
Marine. Why?
Do you have to be so loving and caring to me all the time?

(04:06):
They're minerals. It's.
Clearly meth. So we've been watching it, but I
only had ATV speaker. And so you'd be like listening.
They'd be talking like just justyou.
We gotta wake up. I'm like, what are you saying?
You turn it up the TV? I'd have to turn it up to like
70 to 80 out of 100 to listen, to hear what they're saying.
So it's it's loud, you know, just to hear them speak at a

(04:28):
normal volume. Yeah, OK.
I can hear them. And then the next scene would be
like a shootout. Yeah.
And it would be so loud you'd have to turn it.
I see the problem. All the way down to like 4030
sometimes. That happens with YouTube as
well. I feel like I'll be watching a
YouTube video on like, you know,half volume and then it actually
happens on Twitch, like you'd bewatching a streamer or whatever
and then an ad would play and it's so deafening.

(04:48):
Layout. Yeah, it's like actually
unbelievably layout. Have you heard of Shopify?
And. You're like Oh my God, what the
hell? I was watching a case in that
dance. It's that coaster ad, the the
whistling ad that everyone fucking hates, and it's just
sorry layout. Yeah, yeah.
Oh my God. And so I was like, we need to
get a sound bar and I don't carewhat it is, the cheapest
possible set, just something, anything is better than the

(05:10):
TBSP. It's basically as long as it's
not JBL, I'm not getting a JBL speaker.
They're not. They're just not good.
I mean, they're okay, but they break.
All right, UE booms are good, yeah.
But so UE booms. When the sponsor was.
Yeah, so actually, they're actually the best.
Actually, can we redact this? Actually, if they're gonna
sponsor us, let's redact that. So I was like, all right, Bose

(05:33):
is a good, Yep, solid brand. It's well known.
The cheapest Bose speaker. Yep, found out nondescript hi-fi
store selling it for 295 for theBose TV speaker.
I was like, that's pretty good solid.
Yeah, anything's better than nothing.
So I go to this nondescript hi-fi store.
Could be any of them, could be any of them, could be BJBJ

(05:53):
hi-fi. That sounds gross, sounds kind
of crazy, but yeah. And I go there and I asked the
guy, hey, man, I'm looking for ATV.
Speaker, the Bose sound bar is the cheapest one.
This is the one I want. And he goes, yeah, no worries.
And he looks it up on his littlePDA thing.
And he goes, oh, sorry, we don'thave any in stock.
We've got some at nondescript suburb here.

(06:17):
Is that close to you? I said, not really.
I don't really want to go that far.
He goes, oh, what about this one?
I was like, that's still pretty far we've.
Got one to find out where you live.
So what about this one? No, it's about 10 minutes away.
OK, 10 minutes. Interesting.
Yeah, yeah, OK. During the Geo like, yeah, he's
got a lot triangulate, triangulating my location and he
goes, what about the Elizabeth St. one like in the city.

(06:40):
I was like, I'm not, I don't want to go in the city for a
sound. Bar, Yeah.
And he goes, right now he's like, well, let me just see
Outback, we might have an old display model.
So I was like, all right, cool. So he goes Outback.
He comes back with a box. He goes, sorry dude, we didn't
have that one Outback. We've got this old display
model, but it is a higher up 1A higher end one, $800.

(07:00):
I think it was 799 or 899. Yeah.
And I was like, that's expensive.
And he said, hey, don't worry Batman, no ex display model.
We'll do it for the same price as the lowest model.
And I was like, Oh my God, this might be the the biggest.
Holy shit, a gift of kindness any stranger's ever done for me.

(07:22):
So here's your genie. Yeah, he's the genie bro.
He's he docked it up every. I was like, am I gonna get?
And you went, oh, fuck. I went fuck.
And he's like, whoa. And, and he, he like did the
dock. And I was like, is he gonna get
in trouble? Am I gonna get in trouble?
Yeah. Yeah.
All went through fine. Wow.
And I got home $800. Speaker.

(07:43):
Thank you very much. Half more than what's that like
60% off? 60.
Yeah, it's a lot like 600. Dollars off basically $500.00.
But here's the crux. It doesn't work.
It took hours to set up. Oh really?
Because it's a smart Bose speaker?
I just wanted to What the hell happened?

(08:04):
I just want. Plug in aux cord.
Where's the aux cord? Let me plug it into the TV and
then just let me set it up and let it work.
But what happens is I plug it in, it goes, oh, if you want
this to turn on, you've got to download the Bose app.
The app I have to download it. Turn it on.
Yeah, because the T the remote for it doesn't work and and it

(08:25):
doesn't have actual buttons. It's got those like haptic touch
buttons where it's just a piece of plastic you run your finger
over. So I download the app and I have
to make an account with Bose to use the sound speaker.
And also when you make an account it goes by the way, by
making an account you have to opt into our emails legendary
suite. So you're now going to send me

(08:46):
emails? There, you guys tell me about
all the upgraded sound bars thatI don't need.
I don't want. Yeah, dude.
So I was like. So I download the app, I set it
up, I hook it up to the app, it has to do an update.
It has to. Firmware update before I can use
it. So I'm sitting there just 10
minutes go by. I'm like how is this update

(09:06):
gonna take? It's a sound bar.
It's gonna be like a three MB update.
What could you possibly? Software is on this sound bar to
need that big of an update. The update, I don't know, I
don't, I have no idea. I feel like it was stealing my
information or something and so echo.
Locating your room. That's why I was playing a high
pitched noise, Frank started barking.

(09:27):
Trying to figure out where you were.
Well dude, I found out actually recently that they can use your
what? This sounds like a conspiracy.
They they whenever you mentionedthey.
I would conspiracy. I was a part of they for a
minute for a while there. They can, you can locate
somebody, you can tell if somebody is in a room by their

(09:48):
Wi-Fi. There's like subtle like changes
in the Wi-Fi signal that signal that can tell if someone's in a
room. Anyway, anyway, this is, this
isn't a conspiracy. This is the wizard's tale, not
the conspiracy tale. Fuck.
So I'm sitting there for like 10minutes, 15 minutes, still
updating. So I go on a Reddit Bose smart
speaker firmware updates the topReddit post.

(10:11):
Yeah, so it can take 30 minutes usually, but it can take up to
24 hours to do an update. What?
What? What is it updating?
I don't know and everyone in thecomments is like yeah bro mine
took 7 hours. Yeah mine took 3 hours to
update. Mine took.
Yeah mine took a whole day out. The next day it was finished
updating. I just want to watch my TVI just

(10:33):
want to watch Breaking Bad without without the dialogue
exploding. So finally I don't.
Even know what it could possiblybe up to, it must be like, I
don't know, it must be like scanning your room to get the
pitch in the. Perfect.
I have no idea. I have no idea.
But it took probably like 30 to 45 minutes.
Finally it updates. I'm like, all right, sweet.
So I go to set it up on the TV. It's like, I don't know,

(10:56):
cracking the Da Vinci Code. It was so difficult to get it to
go through the HDMI E ARC, whatever it is, you know, to run
it through. It finally works.
Sweet. Let's play ATV show, press play
on the TV show. Literally watching it for 5
minutes. Sound drops out.
What the hell? Speaker turns off and it won't

(11:18):
turn on because there's no physical button.
The remote doesn't Yeah, yeah, Ihad to unplug it, plug it back
in, and then I had to reset up the whole thing again through
the account, through the Bose app and then finally after doing
the whole setup again, this is Inow it was gone by and then
resetting it up through the. TV for a fucking speaker?

(11:38):
Yeah, the the only thing a speakers is you have an aux cord
and plugs into your TV and that is it.
Man. Maybe 3 or 4 different settings?
Yeah, there is nothing smart about smart technology.
These I know it is ridiculous and they say it's like user
error but it is not. That's just dumb.
It was crazy. And then finally it reset up and
now it works. Thank God.
A touchwood. Yeah, I think this is.

(11:59):
I think my desk is real wood. But yeah, it took so it was so
too much effort. To set up a fucking speaker all.
You gotta do power on plug in the TV.
Boom. Link it up on the TV.
That should be it, but no. Maybe an app, maybe just if you
want to change your EQ levels and get that, you know, if
you're that into it, but really it should be.

(12:20):
Optional. Yeah, should be optional.
You're not having to actually doit to use it.
So that was a hassle. But to be fair, sound bars.
Great, that's good. You know the one I was looking
at had like 3 speakers. This one has like 5 plus like
some sub in bills into it yeah, some subwoofers.
Sorry, but it was it was a hassle.
I was, as I was doing all of this, I was like, that's why

(12:41):
it's so. Yeah, that's why this guy, he
just wanted to get. Rid of it?
Yeah, No one wants it it. Was display model, bro, these
come back every two weeks. Let's just get get him out of
here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just get rid of it. I was half like thinking to
myself, I was like, well, now that I've bought it, I could
just return it and get a new onethat isn't the display model
because I've technically bought it.

(13:02):
But thank God I didn't have to. Come back, but it's a display.
You think it's because the speaker's bad because it's the
display model? Or do you think it's just the
actual? I think.
Maybe because the display modelsget set up as a display.
So maybe like, you know, now that it's reset the second time,
I think it's fine. But maybe it was because they
had to factory reset it and thenthat just Bose Software's really

(13:24):
bad. I don't know.
Yeah, anyway, we got a sound barat the end of it.
Thank God that's. Good, that's good, that's good.
I mean, that's a hassle. That is a hassle.
It's going to happen to your fridge.
Then I reckon there's going to be an update for your fridge.
Oh, I'm so yeah, I'm never getting.
And how my fridge plays. You told me I can watch like
Emily and Paris. You tell me I I can have Subway

(13:46):
Surfers on the fridge at all times.
Well, that's kind of sick. We can actually.
You can listen to the Wizard's Tower through through the smart
fridge with the Spotify. You know what, I actually that
reminds me of a little gripe that I have with.
I went home to like back home toWarrnambool.
Yeah, just for the weekend. Mum and Dad's house
technologically is so frustrating.

(14:08):
I was trying to charge some Switch controllers, my nephews.
Yeah, I go over to the PowerPoint and like, you know,
the your Mac power, it's like a brick.
Yeah, yeah. You plug it in.
I was like 'cause it's type typeC Switch control types type CI
go over and their PowerPoints are like at the very bottom of
this like drawer, so you can't plug anything into it.

(14:30):
Because the battery's. Battery's too big.
And I'm sitting there like, where?
I'm like, where's your other PowerPoints?
Oh, we've got one behind the couch.
PowerPoint should never be behind your couch.
Yeah, yeah. I was like losing my mind.
I was like, where where can I charge this stuff?
And she's like, oh, I'll have toget you an accentuate.
I'm just like, what is happening?
This wouldn't happen if I was living in.
This would not happen. Are you gonna get one of those
dinky adapters that's like plugsin and then it has like a

(14:53):
PowerPoint above, exactly like the height?
I couldn't believe my Who made these cabinets?
How did this how did this get past me?
I was losing my mind. She's like, Oh yeah, you.
Know when it was built they werelike, well it's to plug in at
VCR. And that's it.
Yeah, You know, Yeah. When?
This was made. It was not made for 75 power,
but yeah, things to be plugged in at all.

(15:13):
Times so true and then behind the TV it's two PowerPoints.
It's the TV PowerPoint plugged in and then maybe like the
switch and I'm like, where can Icharge my controllers?
Like because it was type C, typeC with this end and type C that
end. So you can't even plug it into
the switch. I was losing my mind.
I was getting so frustrated. And the kids were like, oh, the
controller's ready yet? And I'm like, oh, like I should
have charged this before I come down.

(15:33):
You know, it's really, it's actually so funny.
That's that reminds me of when so smart PowerPoints are
becoming a thing now as well. And you know where you'll have
the PowerPoint, but then they'llhave USB ports on the actual.
PowerPoint. I don't mind that.
That's good. But they started getting
released. They only started making them
when type C just started. To become a theme.

(15:56):
So people were getting USB points put in.
Nobody uses a USB anymore. It's all type C So so many
people have paid thousands of dollars to upgrade their
PowerPoints to these. USB ones, yeah and no.
One, I don't have ausb cable, I think I've got 1 USB cable.
Yeah, it's all type C, Yeah. Imagine spending all that money
on these PowerPoints. Obsolete.

(16:16):
Well, you see this in planes as well.
You see that plane like, Oh yeah, I got a pet and it's a
USB. Like no, I need a fucking type.
How was in 10 years this has become ancient technology?
Have you heard the West then? Have you heard the PAL in China?
They're making it so it's just one chord.
Everything's going to be 1 chord, like connecting your
monitor to your laptop or just going to be 1 chord.
Power and everything power. It's going to be crazy.

(16:38):
That's pretty epic. It's going to be crazy.
I've been getting so much Chinese propaganda on my TikTok
I'm starting to be like I do remember Charge dude, charge.
Pretty fucking epic actually. Have you?
Heard of that Wireless HDMI's? No, that's the thing as well.
This guy trying to do this. He wanted a setup on his desk
where he. It was an invisible computer.
Yeah, and the only way you coulddo it without any cords

(16:58):
connecting anything was wirelessHDMI's.
I didn't know 3 Bluetooth, Yeah,I think it's through Bluetooth.
I actually don't know. That's actually like connects
with itself. OK, now that's magic.
And this is we bring it all backaround.
This is the Wizards Tower and technology is magic.
Electricity. Never.
Run. We don't understand it, Wizards,
and it makes no sense. I don't think anyone will ever

(17:18):
understand that. That's a great point.
That's a great I don't. Think anyone will get it?
No one. I don't get it.
No, I'm an electrician. You're an election.
I don't get it. I just plug shit.
Man, I just do the wire thing. I don't know, it turns on and it
works. That's all going to be wireless
wires. That's what I hate to do my
wireless. I like this.
They're taking our jobs, the Bluetooth.
Is taking. Our jobs, man, wireless,

(17:39):
electricity, it's all going to happen.
That's so true. I'm just going to wireless up
this house. So you can't even say I'm wired
up that house over there becauseyou didn't.
I plugged in that house. Oh yeah, I plugged in that
house. Plugged in that house.
That's what it's going to be. It's going to be 1 extension
cord into just something and that's it.
Yep, done. Our house is plugged in now.

(18:00):
It's a fucking. Daughter bed or something?
You just plug it in, Yeah. All these people, Oh my God,
unlicensed plugger in it and they're plugging them in wrong.
They plugged them in upside down.
I don't even know how that happened.
Oh my God, I couldn't even plug in mum and dad's house because
all the fucking PowerPoints are shit something.
'S wrong with me house it's beenI don't know the plug's not in
properly. Did you try unplug it?
You try plugging it, unplugging it and plugging it back in?

(18:22):
No, I didn't try that. Oh, it works.
Now I can't open any of my doors.
Have you tried unplugging you and plugging you?
You just tried it. Smart doors, the smart they've
been trapped in me, room me. Smart locks disconnected from my
Wi-Fi. It's all gonna be AI Ran.
You how's all gonna be AI ran? It's gonna be fucking 2001 Space
Odyssey. We're gonna be all freaking out
of Jarvis. Now open my door.

(18:43):
I can't let you do that. Let you in.
Jarvis. Jarvis, let me out.
No. You haven't paid your power bill
yet. The government has locked you
in. Oh my God.
We're not gonna release you until you can, until you pay
your bills. Get back on only fans, please.
That's what it is. Send send the government a
picture of your butt hole. Xi Jinping is asking for a
picture of your butt hole. Oh your your feet pecks went

(19:06):
down one star. Please you can't afford rent
this way. Jarvis let me out.
So I'm going to be I robot. Holy shit, that's.
Going to be kind of sick though.Yeah, I mean, it might be cool.
Scary, but it might be cool. I'm down for it.
I robots running around. They've already got some in in
China. I saw that children playing.
Children. Robots.
That's kind. Of crazy, yeah.
Magic, man magic. This is just like magic.

(19:29):
It legit is. That's what they say.
Yeah, technology and it is. Yeah, it is next segment.
Creatures criticism. Right, to celebrate James Gunn's
achievement with with Superman Superman.
I've been actually saying it's. I've heard it's really good
though. I couldn't talk about it because

(19:50):
the last week. You went to Superman?
Yeah, and I was like, I can't divulge anything.
Don't give away too much. I'm probably going to say it,
OK. I won't give away too much.
I won't give away too much because I have AI have an
unpopular opinion about something.
Oh OK really unpopular. I talked about this on stream
everyone hated me for. It really and can't hear it.
And I've been looking at all thereviews, no one agrees with me.

(20:13):
So this is genuinely a hot take.OK man, what is that?
I hated OK and this is not a light use of the word hated
every time this motherfucker would come on stream hated him
the dog crypto he. Didn't like crypto, he was just
annoying. And this might be because in the
comics, I'm sure in the comics he is this way, but this dog

(20:35):
unruly man, and that's like, hiswhole thing is he's like, oh,
he's just like a goofy duck. He's not trained.
Yeah. He has the powers of Superman
trained. He's not trained.
That is psychotic behaviour thatis meant.
Yeah. There are multiple moments.
Immoral of Superman to let this Wrecking Ball fly around and do
what it does. And it is justified that there

(20:56):
is there is law in the movie that justifies why he is the way
he is. Like unruly.
Because it's not Superman's dog.Yeah, Yeah, I know that.
Yeah. So I get it, and that's probably
part of Cryptos character, but Itell you what, there are some
really intense moments in the movie.
If Crypto would just pull his fucking head in and listen to
Superman for two seconds, the movie would be over.

(21:19):
Yeah, there are points where it's like Crypto, come on, hey
Crypto, don't do that. And then the Crypto goofy little
dog just doing the wrong thing. Oh my God, please.
Life or death situation. Crypto please for two seconds
can we lock in? So there's a lot of crypto.
I thought it was a bit of like ajoke, but there's a lot of
crypto. Superman saving the world.
There's quite there's, I'm not gonna spoil anything, but crypto

(21:40):
is throughout the whole movie. Yeah, right.
So I thought it was sort of likelike a bit.
Of A and there are just life or death moments.
Lock him up, put him fucking puta glacier colour on.
Him we should put a bloody, put a like.
Colour on that dog do. The wrong thing.
Turn the kryptonite on him just turned into a regular.
Dog. Oh my God.

(22:00):
Legit though, you gotta have this unruly dog flying around
for God's sake. His name's Crypto.
You could put a kryptonite collar and just say it's his
name. And I think it's an unpopular
opinion 'cause everyone even in the middle.
Of him and stuff, yeah. When he was being all unruly,
everyone in the cinema not even joking.
Oh fuck that. Was like or laughing at him.

(22:20):
I was sitting there front row atthe cinemas, like just fucking
this dog. If this dog just buddy just
didn't what he told, it'd all bebetter.
It would all be better. You know what was actually
interesting about? I listened to James Gunn talk
about Superman and he said with a little Lex Luthor character,
everyone was like, oh, like, what's the depth of the Lex?
He just hates Superman. Is that good enough?

(22:41):
And then somewhat. And then he said while he's
doing it, he's like Lex Luthor looks at Superman, like artists
look at AI. He reckons it's like this big
step back in human development. Yeah, like relying.
That maybe Yeah, like super yeah.
Superhuman, disabled to solve our problems when us, the human
race, should solve it ourselves.Yeah.
And when I heard that, I was like, whoa, that's makes me want

(23:01):
to go watch this movie. I was like, that's such sick,
like villain arc, like the he actually just purely hates him
and no one else can say because everyone's blinded by his
awesomeness, but he can actuallysee how this is going to affect
the human race. I thought that was so good.
Yeah, and it is a really good movie, but that was my one one.
Thing interesting. What would you give it out of
10? I really, you know, like the

(23:23):
originally it was a 7.5 leaving the cinema, but then I've sat on
it and kind of stewed on it. I think it's probably like an 8
pushed an 8. It's a good out of 10.
Superhero movie, you know it is really good.
People are fucking loving. Yeah, I've heard like I've
watched a lot of like the movie breakdown dudes on TikTok and
just nerd people just talking about and people are just saying
it's like people got like next to Infinity War and End game and

(23:46):
shit and I'm like holy fuck. I don't know if it's that good,
but it is really good, especially for a DC movie.
Yeah, that's probably my surprise.
So excited about. Yeah, it's good.
It's light hearted, but not light hearted enough to be like
Marvel level like or Star Wars. Yeah, they can fly now.
Yeah, they can fly now. Yeah, like it's not nothing like
that. It's it's good.
I liked it. That's good.

(24:07):
Yeah, but crypto though? Fucking.
Put him, put him down though, didn't like put him down.
There's only one person that's gonna be able to do it and he
just doesn't wanna do it. Like in crypto, yeah, crypto
man. But then.
But then the exciting thing, Australian Millie Alcock thinks
that Millie Alcock is playing Supergirl, which?
Is pretty cool, which, yeah, yeah.
And that'll be really cool as well.
So that's good and shit. And that's who that's whose dog

(24:28):
it is in the comics is, Yeah. Super girls and she's a little
bit unruly herself. Just a little bit of a rebel
without a cause. So you can see, yeah, you're
like, oh, that's why crypto is the way he is.
But yeah, yeah, there's no such thing as bad pets, only bad pet
owners. So they say true.
And I stand by that. Yeah, you hate Supergirl

(24:50):
confirmed. But I can just train that dog,
for God's sake. It has the powers of Superman.
Sorry, but it has the powers of Superman.
Crazy that they'll let this dog run around.
It genuinely at one point mold someone without without even
like like a yeah, it like growlsand like bites someone and
they're like. Whoa.
I'm like, that is you should be.Yeah, put that dog down.
Yeah, that is crazy that it justdid that.

(25:12):
I was just thinking if Frank gotthe powers of Superman and he
and he gets excited when I come around, I'd be fucking through
the wall. Bro could just kill me.
It was. Genuine A genuine point of
irresponsibility. Yeah, by having this dog alive.
Mental. Yeah.
That's a hot tag, by the way. Like, I don't know if I want to
make that into a clip, because they might.
Everyone might come after you. Holy shit.
Yeah, he would. Yeah.
It's honestly a fairpoint, though.

(25:33):
I got to watch the movie. I got to say if it's.
Yeah. If you go into it with those
eyes, you will be like, yeah, that is pretty irresponsible,
Yeah. Anyway.
Sorry. The segment wasn't bash on
crypto for 20 minutes. The segment is Creatures
criticisms. And that could be a Wizards
heart attack. Yeah, OK, Wizards heart attack.
Yeah. So this increased criticisms.

(25:54):
I give you some reviews of different movies and then you,
they're all one stars and you'vegot to guess which movie fits
what review. Yeah.
And because of James Garn's Superman, I decided to pick all
of James Garn's superhero movies.
I didn't pick one. There's one that I didn't pick.
I don't think we've neither haveseen.
It's called Super. OK, it's got.
Rainn Johnson Rainn Johnson, NotRainn Johnson.
What's his name? He plays Dwayne Ryan Johnson.

(26:14):
The bloke, the. Guy that's trying to be
immortal? No Ryan Johnson, the guy.
Yeah, it's got him. OK so I take 143 supplements a
day. I pretty much am a superhuman.
I didn't think. Yeah, The one that didn't pick
was Super. It's got the bloke from the
office, Dwight, playing like a superhero, like gets dressed up,
very kick ass. Ton of vibes.
Yeah, I got you. I haven't seen it, but that's
one superhero I didn't pick. OK, so I've got Suicide Squad,

(26:36):
I've got Superman. I've got Guns.
Galaxy Gun goes one to three. Brightburn.
Yeah. OK.
That's why I should last night. You've seen Brightburn.
God. Alright, let's start with number
one. Oh my God.
What was the target audience agefor this movie?
12 years old. The movie is so dumb, but so
dumb that it's difficult to understand who would like.

(26:58):
It OK for. Starters, every single character
has a dumb power like third division of X-Men OK yeah, yeah,
that's that's review. I didn't know who said I didn't.
I didn't want to bag this personout so I didn't get their name
out so. What?
What are my options? You've got all three guns
movies, you've got Superman, Bright Burn and then the Suicide

(27:19):
Squad. You know we did the.
It's gotta be suicide. Squad it is, yeah.
And like it has to be because. One dude's got polka dot man and
throws polka dots like. And he is overpowered.
He's a boss. He's really.
Yeah. But that's so true.
Yeah. Yeah, I didn't really.
I didn't get the hype behind super.
Oh, I really didn't like it. I thought it was suicide.
Squad the second one was. Good, that's the one he did.

(27:40):
Yeah, but the first one. Oh, the first one didn't like
it. Yeah.
The only thing that came out of that was everybody dressing up
as the Joker and, yeah, Harley Quinn.
Harley Quinn, Yeah. And that's that's it.
That's the only thing that came out of that movie.
Yeah, that so he did the SuicideSquad yeah, which is the remake
and I realize like the start andall that sort of thing and then

(28:00):
like that movie next one would give it negative stars if
possible. OK, I love this I'm not gonna
say I love this franchise. OK, and knew full well going
into the show that one has has one has to suspend logical and
general and generally be ready to sit back and just enjoy and

(28:22):
spectate. Can you read that without read
that? Again, I'm going to read that
again real quick. I got like nervous halfway
through it because I like can't say the franchise.
I'd like to ignore the word and then I got lost.
OK, I would give it negative stars if possible.
I love this franchise a new fullwell going into the show that
one has to suspend logical and generally be ready to sit back

(28:43):
and just enjoy and spectate. Yeah, I walked out of I walked
out after the first air of the film was so unbearable.
Whoa, yeah. OK, none of his movies I'd walk
out of after the first air, so I.
Actually read a review of Superman.
It was a one star and he's like man, it was so disappointing.
I walked out after 20 minutes and I'm like, well you didn't

(29:05):
really. You can't really leave a review
if you walk out. So exactly right, that doesn't
really count. You can watch the movie.
I I don't think I've ever walkedout of a movie.
I've walked out of one movie in my life.
What was it? Beowulf I was 11 years old, I
think, or 10 years old, yeah. My mum took me and we were like,
Oh no, I'll be really good, I'llbe really good.

(29:27):
And then the first scene where that screaming freak comes out
and it's like, like killing everybody and ripping people in
half and shit. Holy shit I can't remember.
The animated Beowulf terrified me so bad.
My mum was like no this is and Iwas like almost crying.
I was like covering my eyes, like what the hell?
Holy shit. Every you left.

(29:48):
And then we went and saw the B movie.
Oh no, I think it was like something like that.
Yeah. Like it was around the same time
like a kids movie. And that was good.
Yeah, that was that was the onlytime I walked out.
I don't think I've ever walked out of the movie.
I think I got close in like Batman V Superman, but that
wasn't because it was bad. I just was getting like, well, I
guess it was. I was just bored.
I was just saying I think of. Jesus Christ is like a three
hour movie and. Nothing's happened and nothing's

(30:10):
happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think that if you you know, I didn't like the second
guy, Into the Galaxy. It's got to be one of those
films. I thought the second one was the
weakest, so I kind of think, Oh yeah, but the third one as well.
If he said franchise makes me think.
He's seen. Two of the three, and this is
the third one, so I'm going to say the third guy into the

(30:31):
Galaxy. You are wrong.
Oh yeah? What was it, Superman?
Yeah, franchise. Yeah, I know.
I love the Superman franchise. Oh, gotcha.
So I'm like, this is just mean Superman in general.
Yeah, that's not really the IP he should say.
Yeah, not the franchise. Franchise.
It's not a James Gunn. No, that's what I mean.
So when I I thought I'd trip youup.
That's why I actually chose. That oh, you're just.

(30:52):
I was like, he's got to think it's guns again, actually.
OK, OK, This next one, I don't know how any person could rate
this four to five stars. It's the worst Marvel movie OK
I've ever seen including Eternals, Guns, Galaxy 1 and
every other Marvel movie OK. It's like it was made for an 8
year old. Bad heroes, bad story.

(31:14):
Why can't Marvel just use its budget to make another Iron Man
or Avengers or basically anything else now?
The funny thing about this review is that he basically
trashes on every single Marvel movie and then goes and goes why
can't they just keep making goodMarvel movies like Iron Man and
Avengers. Previously in that review says
every Marvel movie is bad, but then he goes in to say actually
I'm. Actually though, like why can't

(31:35):
they just make the good, like the good ones again?
Yeah, but they're all. But they're all shit.
But the good ones are good. But they're all shit though.
Well, I'm gonna double down and say it's the third going to the
Galaxy again. Be UK.
You hesitated there. What was that?
That was me just being like comeon, don't get this wrong as
well. OK.
I think it's the second guy into.
The That's not bad. Actually, that's a pretty good

(31:56):
guy, because. I thought, OK, originally I
thought it was the third one because they said Eternals,
Yeah, and they and I figured thesecond guidance of the Galaxy is
before end. Game.
Well, the little clue here is I say guidance of the Galaxy 1 and
don't mention guidance Galaxy. So true.
So look, and this is purely my own opinion and using my own
powers of deduction, I'm going to say it's the second.

(32:17):
One, yeah, you're spot on. That's great.
And I came up with that answer all by myself, so.
It's next one. I don't know how many you got
right, but you're on track for going OK.
Sweet. Yeah, yeah, I think I got one
wrong so far. Is the next one.
The acting is horrendous, the most unbearable and unnatural
reactions from unrelatable characters.

(32:37):
Like a child with no life experiencing experiences, wrote
and directed it. Like a child with no life.
Like a child with no life experience must have wrote and
directed it. I'm going to Chuck must have
been there because OK that doesn't make sense.
They gave a 12 year old a rifle for his birthday in public.
I could go on and on about how bad this movie is but it isn't

(33:00):
even worth it. The preview was really good
though. The people who gave it five
stars review were probably the cast of the movie.
The people who gave it a five star review were probably the
cast of the movie. Is a crazy thing.
Well, OK, so giving a 12 year old a rifle for their birthday?
Yeah, it doesn't. I can't.
I don't know. Do they do that and go into the

(33:22):
I don't know. Now I'm, I feel like just powers
of deduction again using, you know, we've already guessed most
of them. All that's left is guidance one
and three and something else. Brightburn.
Yes, and and also Brightburn, Yeah.
I feel like I'm going to say Bright, Byrne and.

(33:42):
You got. It OK, Yes, OK.
Good be correct. OK, good.
Yeah, that that movie. I didn't like that movie.
Yeah. Did you like it?
I haven't seen it. You haven't seen it?
No, it's but I so when I was like, oh, maybe if I like talk
about the kid getting the rifle for his birthday, you might
remember. That I don't remember it.
I remember a kid getting. Powers.
Powers being almost like crypto as.

(34:03):
Yeah, and I didn't like that movie at all.
I didn't think it was very good.Yeah, yeah, very.
It's very unmemorable. All I remember is I did not
like. You kind of remember him getting
a gun for his birthday? Yeah, they gave a superhuman kid
a gun for his birthday. From what I remember, he's kind
of just like a really creepy kidand you're like, this is
probably the worst kid that could have got powers.

(34:25):
And then it and then you watch the movie and it all plays out
and you go, no, he actually was the worst kid to get powers.
People give it a little bit likeoh what if Superman was bad type
vibe. Yeah, but he's a child.
He's a child, not good. So there's next one.
Do not bring your kids to this movie.
OK. Absolutely horrible because of
all the animal cruelty included in the film.

(34:46):
I know, I know exactly which onethis is.
Yeah, guys, the Galaxy 3. Dudes yes you are correct yes so
many reviews with that like literally so many reviews.
This review had the caution symbols next to it. 2 caution
symbols like alarm like don't bring your kids to this fucking
movie. Yeah so many reviews like.
That and while I would, I almostagree with that.

(35:07):
I kind of think I do too. Because it was confronting
guides the Galaxy 3 but also OK movies have been gone for how
long now? What, 15 years?
If I was five years old when I saw Iron Man, I'd be 20 now.
I think most people that watch Marvel are probably it's
obviously kid oriented. There's also an equal amount of
people that have grown up with them that are adults now.

(35:28):
But also, that's literally his back.
Story I I do agree with that. I do agree with that yeah.
But my sister having nephews it is really hard to tell a kid why
they can't watch a movie. So true And when they hear about
guards Galaxy 3 after already seeing one and two like Oh yeah,
I'll take them to three like what's the word?
And then so true. And then it's pretty, pretty
full on with the animal royalty and just the sadness of Rocket.

(35:50):
Yeah, it's pretty hard to be like I'd be I'd be.
I don't know if I'd be pissed off as a parent, but I'd be
like, let's have a conversation about what we just.
Watched it is tough though, because that is his back story.
Yeah, and like if they didn't include that, you'd feel robbed
as A and. Then the highs a viewer and it's
really good. And it's a really good stuff as
well. Like, Marty, you know, me

(36:11):
nephews really want to go watch dead Deadpool.
Like you can't watch Deadpool. Like, yeah, but he's a
superhero. I'm like I'm telling you, you
can't. Watch.
You know that cast? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
It's so hard to, you know, everysuper well.
I like superhero. I'm like, Oh, yeah.
But it's a lot of swearing and like, yeah, that's OK.
And I'm like, yeah. But yeah, his and his hand gets
cut off. Yeah.
And he breaks his hand on metal and it's all floppy and it's
really, it's really graphic. There's a lot of sexual.

(36:33):
Humour in it. Exactly.
It's definitely, you're not gonna get any of it.
So like, what's the point, you know?
What I mean, yeah. So true.
Anyway, superhero movies, yeah, like it's it's tough for him.
I feel bad for him but also it'slike bad luck.
Yeah, yeah. That was a good movie though.
Yeah, Gonzaga 3 fucking slaps. All right, this last one, I
think you using deduction skills, you probably know what
one it is, but you know, yeah, this really disappointed me in a

(36:54):
big in big time. This really disappointed me big
time. Sorry, what's good?
This really disappointed me big time.
Big time is what they Oh yeah, big time.
The amount of disgusting images made me sick with very graphic
violence. Are they watching this?
Every minute of this movie was disgusting and I didn't even
understand the plot. The writing was average and not

(37:17):
unique at all. That's crazy, guys.
Some people should not watch. Movies that I just don't get it.
I really wanted to like this onebut the animal abuse was so
graphic I could barely keep fromgagging while watching.
They could have done so much better with the amount of
quality, CGI and money wasted onthis movie.

(37:39):
Is that also guides the Galaxy 3?
I can't remember there being much animal cruelty in Guides
the Galaxy 1, but it's Guardiansone.
What the hell? Yeah, what?
What happened in? What happened in Galaxy 1?
Was it just he's like back with the, you know, when he takes his
shirt off I. Guess so, yeah.
Like rocket. Like it's always rocket, man.
Yeah, always rocket. Back to him, man.
Yeah, I was Guardians one. OK, well, that person didn't

(38:02):
understand it and I'm like, and he's like, it wasn't unique.
I'm like when you watch Guardians one after watching,
you know, 5 or 6 Marvel movies that were basically all the time
going on was the biggest fresherbreath air you ever had.
And they're saying it wasn't unique at all.
It. It was crazy.
Dare I say that was the downfallof Marvel was?
Guardians one, that's a great conversation.
Every single marvel leading up to it was very serious with

(38:26):
minor humor. Little comedy.
Realistic comedy. Yeah, but like, Iron Man is a
full serious movie. Yeah.
Like, you wouldn't think it's a superhero.
You can watch it without liking superheroes.
And it's just a good movie movie.
He makes a robot suit. Whatever.
Like it's kind of, it's not realistic, Not a.
Superhero movie till like the last like 5 minutes where he
fights. Yeah, it's like in the realm of

(38:48):
semi reality, Guides of the Galaxy came in as a breath of
fresh air, full comedy. And you're like, wow, this is
great. Like these jokes are like
they're riffing. Yeah, yeah.
They're saying things like they fly now, they fly now, and it
works and it works. It's really good.
And it's like this goofy, light hearted humor with a serious
story. And then the success of it.

(39:09):
Marvel was like, what if we do that for literally?
Every single movie we do, let's make.
Thor dumb. Yeah, let's make Thor.
Really. Then I think, I think it was
like that for a while, and then Tiger took it even more crazy
with Thor Ragnarok, and they're like, well, this is Marvel now.
Like we're just getting silly. Yeah, yeah.
It's so true. Because you watched the first
Captain America, all the jokes are very like, like taking the

(39:32):
piss out of themselves, very like light hearted.
But now it's just full of jokes.Yeah.
When? When.
And the first one, Star Lord's, like I'm Star Lord.
And he's like, who? And you're like, no, this is
what Marvel is from now on. Yeah.
This is legit what it is. Yeah.
But I remember when watching thefirst Guardians, I was like,
that was so funny. That was so good.
I hope they're all like this. And then it slowly they all

(39:52):
became like that. And then it was.
And then by the end, you're like, OK, all right, we've got,
hey, can we? Change the humour a little bit
please. Gun ruined.
The Marvel Cinematic Universe Great YouTube Oh, did did.
James Gunn ruined the word from universe.
And it's just you standing therepointing at the thing, the
downfall of Marvel. It's just James Gunn's face.
Yeah, well, when I click that, probably it's.

(40:13):
Probably pretty relevant now too, if anyone wants to steal
that idea into. A yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd watch it
video essay, I'd watch it it's. A great relevancy.
Because he might have. Movie.
He might have, but then I'm like, can anyone else do it?
Because all three guns moves arepretty solid.
You know, the second one was a little bit lacking, but all
three of them were solid. And it's because of James Gunn
and his, like, direction and comedy.
Because The Suicide Squad was funny as well.

(40:34):
Yeah. Yeah.
I think he he's had a serious. Yeah.
But also was this. New Superman, it's like a good
it's a balance between the humour and seriousness which he
hits well but every other director seems to like.
GO-125. Not quite get that fully and
Tyker really funny like the first movie that he directed for

(40:55):
Marvel. Yeah, Ragnarok it was.
Ragnarok was really. Funny.
And then the next one after thatwasn't wasn't very, very funny
was too. It was even more silly than that
which you wouldn't think it's possible.
It's called Love and Love and Thunder.
It's ridiculous. And then that was like the nail
in the coffee where everyone waslike, alright, OK, enough,
enough of the humour. Let's get back to like just.

(41:17):
Superhero stuff, yeah, yeah, it's interesting.
It's interesting because it's also in a, in a world that's
real, like to an extent, like it's, it's still Earth.
Like it's like, I think Marvel'sis like set between like 2008
and like 20 in now. Like it's meant to be like real
life now. I think the James Gunn world
sounds like it's it's Earth, butlike there's like it's not

(41:38):
Earth. It's wacky.
So you can get a bit more wacky with it, but this is like
they're getting wacky with it and it's meant to just be like
everyone knows who superheroes are.
Well, it kind of fails a bit which.
Superheroes as well. It's tough because like Superman
and DC, because you have to havethese crazy world ending threats
all the time. Because he's Superman.
Yeah, yeah, the most powerful fucking being ever.

(42:00):
Like they have to be crazy. Why would you live in
Metropolis? Yeah, and Gotham.
It sounds horrible. And it's almost like one of
these like questions of like, ifSuperman didn't.
Exist. Would all of these monsters
exist as well? Yeah.
It's like, I swear, that's like a, that's a thing, something
that's explored where it's like,as long as you're around, it's

(42:21):
going to be. That's explored in Batman The
Dark Knight with like, does Batman actually promote this?
You know what I mean? These villains, Yeah.
These jokes. Is there, is there a Joker
without Batman? You know what I mean?
Yeah. It's Gotham worse off with a guy
defending them. Yeah, sort of thing.
Yeah. I don't know, like if Superman
disappeared would would world ending threats really be

(42:42):
happening all the time? I don't.
Know might take away the threat it's like oh you've got a
superhuman now ohh that's ready to play like you know we didn't
look at you as like that seriousbut now that you've got this guy
that can let's go it's very trueinteresting yeah they should do
a movie where there's no superheroes and there's always
world ending threats no one there to save us we're just.
Getting I guess we're getting enslaved now.
Fuck it, we'll just nuke everything.

(43:03):
I guess. It's like the only thing we've
got. Just fucking nuke it.
I bet there's a comic that. Explores that.
It's just, what if there was no Superman?
I can't just fucking yeah. I can't wait to watch a 14 part
TikTok series where they read through the whole comic for me
and I just I just scroll through.
I'm like. Oh true, I don't have to read
that anymore. That's why One Piece is so good.
That's ended. Well, that's all the time we

(43:26):
have on the Wizards Tower. If you'd like to reach the
Wizards, you can send her now tothe Wizards Tower [e-mail]
and you can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok, whatever
the hell that is. Anyway, don't forget to grab
your hat, grab your star, and we'll see you on the next
episode of the Wizards Tower. Acast powers the world's best

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