50: This One Hack Will Save You Millions In Fines

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Dude, I don't think I've ever asked you what made you want to
become a wizard. Well, you know, that's a really
good question, and it all startsback in my childhood when I saw
my parents murdered by a dark wizard.
Oh, did you want to like, fight that dark wizard?
Like when I get back at them. No, no, no, not at all.
But you know, that day really made me realise just how awesome

(00:20):
it would be to be a wizard and be that powerful.
What that you just smite at anybody?
You don't. You don't, but you then
eventually killed that wizard. Like Revenge Story killed that
wizard. No, no, I I joined him.
He's the one that taught me actually everything.
I know. We're still friends.
We're friends on Facebook. He pokes me sometimes he just
sends a little poke. Oh my God.
I poke him back. Wow.
On Facebook? Yeah, yeah.

(00:41):
You mates with the you mates with the person that killed your
parents that doesn't know. You realise that's.
Am I not allowed to? Am I not allowed to be friends
with someone that killed a family member of mine?
If I had to do that, I would nothave a lot of friends.
I think killed a family member of yours.
Well, not yet. That's a good point.
So what? What, am I supposed to just go
around and just unfriend everybody that's killed?

(01:01):
Killed somebody that I know well.
That's normally what happens. You don't become friends of
people that murder people you know.
Well, what about that necromancer that brought my mum
back? Yeah, they brought your mum
back. That was fine.
I didn't see the problem with that.
Well, he. Killed her first and then he
brought her back as a slave, sentient slave and then she
obviously serves him now. I didn't brought her.
Back. I didn't know he killed her.
I thought he's doing you a favour.

(01:22):
Oh my God. I'm gonna have to make some
calls. I didn't realise this was an
issue. Well.
Yeah, get. OK, well welcome back to the
Wizard's Tower. Jesus the Wizard 's tower.

(01:44):
Happy 50th episode. This is you.
Yeah, this is unreal. Can we get crowd sound effects
cheering? I can't be bothered.
Can we get can we get that rightnow, Mitch?
Hey, Post Mitch, can you find that?
Can you can you edit that in? Future me is so angry right now
and present me is not happy about it.
Present me is like oh OK. But you know what the worst part

(02:04):
is gonna be is you're gonna go, oh, I couldn't find it, and then
you're gonna send it to me and then I'm gonna have to find the
cheering. Yep.
Oh, I couldn't find any cheeringnoise.
You're gonna have to know. Yeah, that's exactly what's
gonna happen. But yeah, 50 episodes, Yeah.
Pretty exciting. That's.
Crazy. We've been doing it for a year.
Yeah, over a year. Yeah, I think we've only missed
like a couple of weeks. It was literally like Christmas,

(02:28):
like 2 episodes over Christmas and then I think of another 2
when you went off to do something.
In my pilgrimage in Spain, I think then I missed one with
because you had Mark fill in. Yeah, that's right.
Seems like there's a lot of you kind of missing podcasts now I
think about it. Yeah, that makes sense.
Interesting. So it's not really my 50th, It's
my 49th. It's your 50th.

(02:48):
It's my 49th. Yeah, I should.
I've I've actually attended every.
Episode Oh my God, we're actually out of sync yeah our.
Cycles are no. Longer on.
Sync anymore? So Oh no.
Yeah, you've only done 49, so I can celebrate, but you can't.
That sucks, actually. I'm actually kind of sad about
that now. Oh man, 50 episodes just.
Must be a nice. Just must be a nice.

(03:09):
You know, and I, I feel pretty, I feel pretty good about it.
But you know, that's something that just comes with the
experience that you wouldn't, you obviously wouldn't know
anything about having only done 49 episodes.
That extra episode really just put some hairs in your chest.
It's aged you. You look so much older than me
with this extra episode and you're.
Yeah, yeah. Now it doesn't feel so good,

(03:30):
does it? Yeah.
But I'd like to see some greys actually.
But like, like in a good way, like a Brad.
Pitt Nah Like facelift aged. You're not.
You look like you look like Michael Caine when he was 30.
So he still looks. 50 He's stillbold, still something he looks.
Patrick Stewart when he's 19. He was bold.
It's like, oh, excuse me old man, I'm just here to talk to

(03:53):
your son. I'm actually, I don't thank you
very much. I'm going to play a Butler one
day. It's going to be my most iconic
role and. Ever I showed this this boy with
a with a tangerine. Ruby be shy of a tangerine.
Yeah, anyway, terrible Michael Caine impression.
Can you do a good Michael Caine?Really give it a shot?
Yeah, one really give it a really give it a crack.

(04:16):
What do you want me to say? Bloody lift this log off.
I can say marked away, that's all I got.
It always sounds like you're saying Michael Caine marked
away, marked away. Michael Caine.
All these Bush actually can't live for bloody long.
It's terrible. It's kind of like a bad old man
impression, really. Yeah, he's tough.

(04:36):
What's the Chris Walker you pretty good Chris Walker.
I'm not going to do. I'm not your parrot, I'm not
your puppet. I'm not going to just be doing
impressions for. You top 50 Just impressions.
Let's go one or the other. No, I'm not doing that. 50 is
definitely Michael. So 50s Michael Caine.
That's the bottom of your like in barrel. 4049's got to be

(04:58):
Christopher Walken. Yeah.
So it's, it's all, it's not verymuch an improvement.
You do a pretty good Keith from that Spider Man series from
Cleaning Up. It's like, that's me.
Oh shit, but. Yeah, I don't know.
I think I'd do a good Master Roshi.
That's that's probably Master. Roshi.
Oh, from Dragongs. There, go on.

(05:22):
Well, Goku, yeah, Goku's pretty powerful.
That's good, that freezer. I was expecting you just speak
like perfect Japanese then. Yeah.
No, that's good. Yeah, that's probably, that's
probably up there with one of my.
Best impressions? That's pretty much that's as
good as it gets. I think I haven't got any
impressions. I do good.

(05:42):
Capsy King. That's you.
Oh. Yeah, that's you though.
I do good, Mitchell Para. Do a English accent right now.
I don't. Yeah, you do 1, then I'll copy
it. Say.
Oh, in there I love. Pancakes is.
That English. I don't know.
Is it? I don't know.

(06:03):
Either now for next segment, is there a segment after?
This I haven't got any segment. Oh, actually, I broke the law.
OK, All right, this is off to a good start.
Everybody ran a red light the other night and it was nearly
almost a month. Ago ran a red light.
Oh lock him up eBay. He ran a red.
Light. But the best thing is, so it cut

(06:26):
$500. Fine, That's not the best thing.
That's actually the worst thing.And then I think I lost some
demerit points, but I don't knowhow many.
Yeah, I think it might be like two or three.
But on the Victoria roads thing,you can say how much money you
want to pay for how many months.Yeah, you can go as low as a
dollar. Really.
I could be paying a dollar a month for 510 months.

(06:48):
So for the pretty much the rest of your life, you could be
paying off this one mistake you made legit.
That's kind of awesome. I was like, I can't go that low.
And then my brother, my brother told me that he's doing $20.00 a
month for like 3 years because he had like 3 offences like all
in a row. And he's like yeah, all of them
are like 20 bucks a month for like 3 years.
And I was like holy shit. Because it's meant to be like

(07:08):
the least like it's, it's obviously a fine, yeah, you know
what I mean? But it's meant to, like hurt you
in the least way possible financially.
Yeah. So you set up a payment plan so
you don't have to do it. So I'm doing $50.00 for 11
months. That's which is kind of chill.
I'm kind of like, Oh well. $50.00 for 11 months.
So Jesus Christ, $550 fine. $510fine, I think so my last month

(07:32):
will be like $10. Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
That's. Great for running a red light.
Running a fucking red light and the red light I ran was bullshit
because So what happened? Was yeah, it's always, it's
always bullshit when you're the victim, right?
Yeah. Tell that to the family you
nearly ran over. So what happened was.
There was a play pram, there wasa pram on the road.

(07:53):
It was a bloody girl pushing herpram and a family of of eight.
There was a grandmother. There was a great.
Every generations but 8 generations walking that road
and then. Those fucking little Russian
dolls, they just kept popping out smaller and smaller.
Like a give way to a family of ducks.
I wasn't having it. I played flawed it.

(08:14):
Anyway that's basically what no I just there was 1 bloke that
sort of ran the yellow light because he ran the yellow white
right like the he won that. You can't even speak even.
Have to say anything, you just made fun of yourself.
I just looked at. You speak some words.
You want a podcast? Fucking hell.
He ran the yellow light. OK, so then there's two of us

(08:37):
turning and you know, you can like park sort of like in the
lane. So then you and you turn when it
goes yellow. That's right.
Yeah, because that bloke ran theyellow light.
This bloke couldn't go straight away.
So he was slow off the mark. That means I was slow off the
mark. My back tyres were behind the
starting line, you know the. Ah, so you stitched yourself up
with. Just yeah, yeah, I showed a few

(08:58):
people and I reckon they're like, you could dispute that
because it was wet that night, you could say you couldn't slow
down in time and I didn't. I heard all this after the fact
that I've already set me paymentplan for.
Yeah, 50. It's easy to say you could
dispute that until you actually go to do it.
And then all they do is say no. Yeah.
And then they go, well, take us to court then.
Yeah, you go. Probably not.

(09:18):
I go. That's what I thought.
Pay the $1.00 for the next 500 months.
That 'd be great. That would be $1.00 for 500
months. It's almost like I should have
paid it in like dollar coins or something.
Like going in there just dumped 500.
Well, you know how I had one demerit point left?
Yeah, in Brisbane. Yeah, I've moved to Melbourne
and got my license renewed. Yeah, but I really have all my

(09:41):
points back. Wow.
So if you almost lose your license in one state, just move
states. That's a little bit of a life
hack personal. And just so everyone, for the
record, I actually wasn't personally responsible for
losing any of my demerit points.So.
Well, you're the driver and it'syour responsibility to make sure
everyone. My fucking my passenger had

(10:01):
their seat belt on but it was under their arm.
I got done for that for some reason, that's my fault.
Oh, you're the driver responsibility.
Make sure. Apparently halfway through a
road trip you're supposed to be constantly checking if someone's
wearing a seat belt, right? I didn't know that.
I always thought I was focusing on driving.
Yeah, On the road, I wasn't the passenger.
I feel like it makes sense, likeI was the passenger.
I wasn't the passenger. I like defending the passenger

(10:22):
like it's me. And then and then I got a fine
for four points and it was $1000.
Yep, insane. And then two days later, same
thing happened, same speed camera before I'd even received
the first fine. Got a second fine and because it
was the same offence, within 12 months they double it.
So it was double demerit points,same amount of money, $1000

(10:45):
again. But then, yeah, they nearly took
all my points. They gave me one back.
As the worst point, yeah, they're.
Like oh, technically you should have 12 points gone and you'll
have no points left, but we'll give you 1 left.
That's nice. Yeah, that was nice.
So kind. Of and then I went to dispute it
and they were like, yeah, that is bullshit.
You should ride in and dispute it.
So I rode in. No, they were like, that is too
bad. Take us to court.

(11:07):
Dad did something silly. He like parked.
He wanted his Ute to be closer to a house, so he like parked on
the nature strip so he'd be close to the house.
And then he got a fine in Melbourne for that.
And he wrote this like handwritten letter out saying
like, you know, he's a respectable business owner and
all this sort of shit. And I read it and he sent it to
me. He's like doing this for work.
And I read it and I was like, I'd fucking find you twice,
mate, for being a smart ass. Handwritten letter in.

(11:29):
I'm like Nah mate, you're a fucking smart.
Ass. That's fair.
That's fair too. That would piss me.
Off yeah. Reading that shit, no.
Fuck just for that. Yeah, it's covered in silicon.
First of all, plumbers glue all over it.
He plumbers glues are closed on the envelope rather than the
plum he goes. Plumbers glues in blood.
It's written in plumbers glue the the cleaner.

(11:51):
He soldered together pipes that spell out his whole letter and
he's used plumbers glue. To close the letter, he just
can't write. He has to do everything around
plumbing. He just can't write it.
That's all plumbing related. The hell, why is this?
Why is this envelope so hot? Oh, it's got central heating.
What the hell? Why is the?
Why is it? Gas powered emblem.

(12:13):
Opens it up like a steampunk. Steampunk envelope.
Comes in on a balloon like a like a blimp.
He's got He wears a top hat and goggles.
On All Plumbers are Steampunk, that'd be good.
I this controversial opinion steampunk cool might be the
lamest, lamest punk of all of the punk.

(12:35):
Crazy. You know, there's okay, so
there's, there's different typesof punk, right?
Apparently I'm just learning this now.
So the steampunk. Hold on, top five top.
Okay there you guys, let's do another list.
Okay, this is gonna be a great clip.
Top five worst, Worst punks. Okay.
That kid from down the road, who's that little punk?
That little punk you live down the road from me so.

(12:55):
There's like, you know, cyberpunk, yeah, which is like a
certain genre of books and, you know, theme.
There's steampunk. Yeah, right.
Then there's solar. Punk.
I didn't know that. So lame.
So lame. What's solar punk?
It's like, it's so cyberpunk is like really dirty, grungy,
embracing, yeah, you know, like technology, but it's run by

(13:19):
corporate people and it's reallyfucked up.
Transformation and like. Yeah, it's kind of like
dystopian in a way where we've, like, ruined the Earth.
Yeah, solar punk is like technology, but like in a in the
right way. Everybody lives on farms and
uses solar panels to like power.Their where's the pump?
Renewable energy. Where's like the fuck you thing,
you know, Where's the punk rock energy?

(13:40):
From the punk Fuck you is to theRaiders, the moon.
Read it. OK.
Yeah, to the people that are watching that.
Genre that guy says fuck you to the moon, fuck you moon with
solar punk, fuck you and then there's moon punk so.
I don't want to talk about moon punk.
Yeah, there's a heap of different punks and.
That's the dark side of the moon, punk.

(14:01):
That's OK. I see what you're I see what
you're doing with that. Yeah, I think, I think you know.
Steam punk's pretty. Lame.
But like below, that's above solar punk.
Solar Punk's definitely down in the bottom.
I would never read something that's like, and we all farm and
everyone lives together in harmony and it's actually kind
of cool. Shut up, shut up.

(14:22):
Yeah, that's not punk. There's nothing punk about that.
Well, we're like resisting. Is that it?
It's just big. Corporo who wants to ruin the
environment and we're like saving it?
Shut up. Shut up, that's not punk.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where the punk
comes from, honestly. In solar punk, I think it's just
like simply a thematic, just naming convention.
Yeah. Is it just those 3 punks?

(14:42):
There's no other punks? Oh.
There's heaps more. Oh OK, do you want me to read
them? Now?
Let me. Oh, you haven't got them off the
top of your head? What, Are you not prepared for
this podcast at all? Oh my God.
OK, OK, OK, holy fuck, there's 25 of.
Them holy shit. Cow punk, Wait, what the hell
give? Us the definition of cow punk.
OK, as you'd expect, it's a mixture of punk and country

(15:04):
music. Wait, what?
I can tell you right now that's not what I was expecting.
I was expecting people dressed up as chaos.
So it was cow punk cowboy. Well, it was written by guitar
guitar. OK, so it's a music thing, I
guess cow punk, you know, there's there's atom punk, which

(15:26):
is kind of like, you know, usingit's kind of like almost what
Fallout is, you know, like usingatomic atomic stuff as.
Power and stuff. How to live bio punk?
That's a that's a pretty classic1 using like biomechanical
weapons and stuff like that, using biotechnology.
So like it's. Kind of similar to the

(15:46):
cyberpunk. Meaty sort of things.
Kind of like cyberpunk, but morelike bio.
The computer's made of a brain. That sort of stuff.
You know, like a real brain. You know they do that in Dune.
Dune type vibe, Yeah, that's what you're.
Saying Dune has a lot of that sort of stuff in it.
We got diesel punk, which is a retro futuristic sub genre sort
of like cyberpunk, but it's a lot of diesel based fucking

(16:10):
bullshit. I guess you could say maybe like
Mad Max is probably that. Dystopian diesel world.
Yeah, Seems like the roughest one because I guess Mad Max is a
type of punk. Motor punk.
I just made that up. Motor Punk.
No way. Not hands right here.
Motor punk. Oh, there you go.
Oh, Mad Max. What do you know about Max?

(16:31):
Yeah. Yeah, solar punk is a literary,
artistic and social movement andsci-fi sub genre that envisions
A sustainable future of technology and harmony with
nature. Shut up it.
Also says the cringiest of the punk cringe punk.
Oh I can't wait to read the story where everyone gets along
and nothing. Bad it's going to stick to punk
rock, mate. You know like 182 that's punk.

(16:56):
That's. Not punk rock.
Is that punk rock? Yeah, it brings punk.
Is it? Yeah.
What's punk to you? What do you think punk is?
I think it's like, like all of the music that gets played at,
like, white supremacist rallies where it's like, yeah, yeah.
Blink No one likes you when you're 23 What's my?
Age. Yeah, true, I guess.

(17:17):
That's Oh my God. What's my pop?
That's pop punk. What's my age?
Again is the yeah, I guess it's pop punk.
Yeah, Yeah, it's softer punk than what?
I mean, you're thinking. Pop punk's like, you know where
they, like, have a Mohawk and they talk about killing
everybody. That isn't what, Yeah.
I don't know if that's, I don't know if we can put that.
Well, that's so punk, man. What the hell?
That's heavy punk. Watch.

(17:38):
Punk. Yeah, Think about it.
That is insane. Yeah, I don't think that's what
punk is. I like to move again against the
grain. I like to hate.
Everybody doesn't. I have a punk rocker.
I don't want to be a star with you.
I love punk. I love your Mohawk, man.
So cool. Now The Ordinary, yeah.
It's pink. He's.
Just. It's pink and I hate black

(17:59):
people. You're like white.
What about Wizard? Punk that's ohh that would be
cool actually. Wizard punk would be cool, yeah.
When is that gonna be a thing? What would that be?
Just what we're doing now. Just magic, but like but with
more. That's cool.
Oh. Yeah, everyone's embraced like
magic in the arcane arts into their Yeah.

(18:21):
Life. Is that what necromancy is?
Maybe necromancy is the type of.Wizard Punk.
Oh, well, I guess there's a lot of magic in the League of
Legends show. Yeah, yeah, that's magic.
Punk. Did we just make up?
Maybe, I think. That's arcane.
It's arcane magic punk. Arcane punk.
See, we just, I don't know. Oh my God, slap anything on it.
But like, that's really steam punky too as well.

(18:42):
I hate punk. I hate punk.
Hate punk witch I just. Hate, hate every.
You just hate. Yeah, we live in a society where
everybody hates everybody. I reckon if you were a punk
wizard you'd have a guitar that you'd play and do like a
fireball. Damn, that's kind.
Of I think Ozzy Osbourne was punk.
No, I think I think a good example of that would be

(19:03):
SpongeBob at the end of the SpongeBob movie.
SpongeBob. Goofy Goose.
Yeah, Goofy Guru is the hardest punk song of the Yeah.
Speaking of punk and being a little punk rocker that I was.
Being a little piece of shit. Being a little weasel little

(19:24):
rat. Yeah, Jackson keeps accusing me
of being a bully. Like, he's like, oh, there was.
I said there's no bullies at my school.
And you're like, yeah, because you were the bully.
Yeah, this story doesn't really help my case that I wasn't a
bully. The more stories you tell about
like growing up and like your childhood, the more I'm like.
I lived in regional Victoria. I was born as well, I can't deny
that. Yeah, there was this one time me

(19:44):
and my friends like beat up an old lady.
But like we have fun. We were kind of bored.
Helped her cross. The street then beat her.
And I'm like, wait, hang on a second.
There was just one freak kid in our school and we'd always go
around to his house and yell obscenities at him.
We. Pretend to be his friend and
then. We pretend to be his friend,
then we'd slash his tires and then told his parents we saw him

(20:07):
do it. You're like, oh, he blamed on
him. No, maybe I shouldn't.
No, no, that's true. All right.
Tell what's what's story you have?
For us this week, so, you know, grew up regional Victoria, very
bored. What do you do?
Your egg houses. I was going to say smoke meth,
but that actually, yeah, no, that's probably better.

(20:29):
Well, these are all stepping stars eventually smoking.
OK, so meeting mates go down, grab, grab a carton of eggs and
we're like, oh, who's house are we gonna egg?
I'm like, yeah, yeah, we'll go find someone's house egg.
And then we, we didn't like justegg random people's houses.
And we didn't target anyone thatwe didn't know or like, didn't
like when we just egged our friend's houses.

(20:50):
OK, interesting. Interesting.
I don't know why we decided to do that.
We're all friends and we just like, what's the point?
Like we were just egging each other's houses.
Yeah, really. Dumb fucked up.
Really dumb. So this one time we're pretty,
we're pretty drunk as well. Under influence?
Yeah, all. And how old were you?
Definitely 18. OK, so I don't know if that

(21:12):
makes it better or worse. We were all 18.
Does that make it worse 'cause you're?
You should know by that point. Yeah, well, we were definitely
18, but maybe we, but we didn't know any better.
We're at the age where we didn'tknow any better.
Blame our parents. Yeah, blame our parents for the
responsibility. We were eighteen.

(21:34):
Yeah, OK, OK, good. We got that on the record.
Anyway, one of the mates, he just like left his front door
open, had this fence around the house, but he just left his
front door open like all the time.
So. So I got an egg and wasn't
aiming for it, but I threw it and it went straight down his
hallway, straight down and threwhis front door straight down the
hallway and just split it all onthe ground.

(21:56):
And then his dad was like, we'vebeen hit.
Is he a veteran or something like that?
Straight back in Afghanistan, grabs his gun out of his safe,
starts rogue. Move, move, move.
We need our airport now. AC130 comes over.
How did he know straight away that he'd been?

(22:18):
I don't know. Just had they heard rumours of
eggs been? This is the first, I think this
is the first offence that we didof many that night.
It was all that one night that we did all this, all the egging,
just our friend who weren't there at the like, I think
because he was like he didn't want to come hang out with us.
He's like, no, I'm working tomorrow, I'll come hang out.
So like I will egg him to. Get him back, OK?
Sorry, this egg down his hallway, his dad comes running

(22:39):
out. We're already gone.
And then my other mate whose house it was, was just like,
yeah, Dad was standing at the corner with like a pickaxe, just
like waiting for us to come back.
Any second. No, I'll be back.
That will be back. Like no, we won't be.
I can tell. You on his hand.
That is so funny. Yeah.
So we egged. We egged that house and then we
just went around and egged like all our friends houses that

(22:59):
night for no, that's no good reason.
For fun, that's. It was fun and like, we knew
like, we weren't gonna get in trouble because like, that's
true. It's your friends.
So it's kind of the perfect target.
How many eggs did you have? Well, eggs were cheaper back in
the day. You're thinking about how much
Jesus. They're like $10.50 for.
A 12 pack? No, we did a quick, I think
there's like five of us in this group. 5 bucks for a carton of

(23:22):
eggs. Fuck good dogs.
Yeah, yeah. When I was a kid, I used to be
able to get a whole dozen of eggs split between my friend.
We could egg all the houses on the street. 50s eggs.
Well, back in those days it was £0.50.
Back then we used to trade rocksthat we assigned value to.

(23:43):
Of course, that was before the introduction of the dollar.
Well, back in those days, because eggs, everyone would
throw eggs. We used to trade eggs like
trading cards. Emu eggs were very good.
We used to train pieces of real gold that we used to find.
But yeah, I imagine. I was just thinking.
Imagine egging someone's house with an emu egg.
God I'd be going through that window.

(24:05):
Wouldn't even crash. Well, a couple of mates, you
know, mates rates. They ate an emu egg.
Oh yeah, they did too. Yeah, they went to an emu farm
and ate one of the eggs. It looks really gross.
It's. Just a, well, you wouldn't
believe it, giant. Egg.
Giant egg. You.
Make a whole omelet from 1 egg. Yeah, it looks.
Enormous omelet. I have it.

(24:25):
Oh my God. They're going to be nice.
It looked they didn't, do they? They had it raw though, didn't
they? Yeah, they did have it raw.
Yeah. You never had a raw egg before?
No, I don't want to either. Yeah, me neither.
I mean my mate got Aurora egg the other night and we egged his
house. Yeah, it's true.
I'm so sad you live in an apartment.
Strain related. So you can't egg me, basically.

(24:45):
Pretty much. You'd have to be yeah, go have a
pretty good arm. I wouldn't be mad.
It'd be very impressive if I gotonto your balcony with an egg.
We actually just had people comeround and wash all the windows,
which was pretty funny. Oh, true.
Just out of nowhere. Like I was making my morning
coffee and I turned around and there's a man outside hanging
off the side, just wiping the window.

(25:07):
Frank sees him and naturally he's just like what the fuck?
What Frank, being my dog, just sees like this man on the
outside. Of the window.
And just started hysterically like barking at this, this guy.
That would be terrifying for a dog.
And I was trying to like make eye contact with the guy and be
like how are you mate? They're trained not to.
Another day on the job. Part of the job.

(25:27):
But he literally, yeah, he was. Yeah, not part of the job
watching. I was naked at the time too, so
I was like, come on. He was really.
I got contact with me. Come on, this is my morning
routine. I knew you were coming.
I got the e-mail saying you werecoming.
I've been waiting all morning. He's just like, look, not look.
I won't be looking. I'll tell you what.

(25:47):
Do you clean those things fast? He was mapping.
Quick. Clean them quick.
He made sure he didn't have to come back for a second.
A second round, Yeah. You missed a spot, please.
That reminds me though of of this morning.
We had a we were driving to the climbing place and there's
people on the side of the road that that come up to you and ask

(26:09):
to like wipe your windows. Same the traffic lights.
Same. Yeah, it's a different person
usually like yeah, yeah, you know, there's a there's a
regular that usually comes around and and does it, but
there was a different person there today.
We were just thinking how funny it would be if like, I know like
a motorbike, A motorbike rider. There was a motorbike guy

(26:29):
sitting next to us. If he was just like.
Come. Here and then just just wipe his
fucking helmet. That's all over his helmet and
just like, so true. Yeah, I clean these fucking
motorbikes, the whole lot. I wonder if they, I wonder if
they have vendettas, you know, like I wonder if they have like

(26:49):
regulars that they clean their windshields and then they get
like annoyed when they see. Clean into the car, wash out.
Yeah, he's a sparkling. Somebody's been cleaning your
windows. You've got plenty of
windshields. You can do the back, you can do
the front. He's been pushed up there on
Thomas St. I just, I don't know, I just
drive past her every day and he's just bloody.
He's done it for your window. Yeah.
Down to clean that. You can do the back, that you

(27:12):
can do the front. You whore.
Plenty of windows. Plenty of windows for people.
I got 4 windows. He's like, Nah, this is.
Ridiculous. Oh, it's funny.
I had someone clean them for free.
The other I sort of said I was like, no, no, it's OK, Don't.
And they're like, that's right, I'll do it anyway.
And I was like, oh, now you're just making me feel really
guilty. And then the light went green

(27:34):
and they were still there. And I was like, oh, you're gonna
have to get out of the way. I'm gonna hit ya.
I'm gonna hit you. You gotta move.
I'm sorry. This is why I didn't want you to
clean them. Yeah, that's done.
The the lights turn quick here too, and they're just like
running bars. Yeah.
Not even enough time to give them money.

(27:55):
Everyone's got pump now, just you know what I mean.
You don't. I don't need just this clean my
window. I've got a little pump in the
front that squirts the. Wall Oh yeah, yeah.
I was like, what are you talkingabout?
Everyone's got pump. It was good.
It was good. One of these ones you.
Know I'm going man that's. Open again, closing your hand.
One of these ones. What is that, Mama?
A pizza. Everyone got one of these.
Ones everyone's got, everyone's got this, you know, like a pump,

(28:17):
like, you know, like hold on mate, I'm driving and I'm saying
everyone's got a pump. You know exactly what?
Yeah. Yeah, it's.
For our audio listeners, I'm sort of doing a come hit her
gesture while pretending to drive a.
Yeah, it's one of those things and it's.
I wonder when it's gonna get to the point where those people
that clean your windshields get like pay pass like tap to pay

(28:38):
because. They need it, no ones.
Yeah, 'cause no one has cash. Oh, sorry, I don't have any
money. Like I don't have any cash.
They go, that's alright, that's a just enter in what, $5?
Here you go. You're like.
Oh, plus tax, fuck and then plusthe.
Equipment. So I do have to charge GST
because I do make $70,000 or more a year.
So we do charge GST it's. Actually, Monopoly, you pull up
to the lights and like it's justa business.

(29:00):
Like he's on the side of it witha fucking desk in front of me.
So the whole business telling people where to go and.
Starts with one guy, starts withone guy, and you pay him a
dollar and he goes, thanks. Well, next time you come up,
he's like got a haircut and he'ssort of his beard's gone.
You're like, all right, you pay him again.
Come back next week. He's got a second guy helping.
Who's that? Oh, I just hide some help.

(29:20):
We got a lot of bloody cars thatcome through here.
We just need a bit of help. You're like what?
OK. $1.00. And then a month later he come
down and he's sitting on the side of the road yelling Thai
firing someone, someone in my office.
And then they mime opening a door and sitting in a fake
sitting in a fake office. They punch in, you're fine.
I go to the. Remember meeting your quota,

(29:42):
There's only so many cars that come up to you.
You're fine. Fire mate.
That's why you gotta be doing. I've been paying for your
salesman classes. You should be upselling people.
You get dental, I'm paying for your dental.
You got workers comp? We're cleaning these windows.
Damn, like this guy's actually. Shit, this.
Guy's an entrepreneur. We made the right guy, Rich.

(30:04):
Yeah, legit. I mean they're doing a service
to society which is good. But yeah, exactly point though,
like cash is being out ruled so like I feel like homeless people
are going to become even more inpoverty.
Yeah. Well, you know, and I think this
has been the biggest problem with just society in general is
that, you know, everyone talks about, oh, we go attached the

(30:24):
rich, attached the rich. Well, has anyone ever thought
about taxing the poor? Oh, that's not bad.
Has anyone thought about all of that money I give to those
homeless people? Untaxed Untaxable income at.
Least $20. Whoa.
Untaxed income. That's the that could be the
government's. Right.
They need to increase the tax brackets, bring that down to the

(30:44):
like, skip the middle class, bring it down to the to zero,
20% on every dollar. If you make over 100 grand, you
don't pay tax, Yeah, but anything under that 50% tax?
Wow. And then when it gets under
10,070. Yeah, I agree with that.
That's not bad. That's not bad.
And then the billionaires still of course, don't pay any tax,
because that'd be silly. But I think the bottom half of

(31:06):
society will make up for. That's a great point.
Will make up for all of that lost tax, yeah.
Damn, I think you might have just solved the echo.
Hey, call me a wizard. Call me a economic.
Wizard you are. Yeah, I just came up with that.
Economic punk shut. Up spell of movie ran.

(31:28):
I watched Happy Gilmore. OK, So what?
Oh. Happy Gilmore, too.
Happy Gilmore, the sequel? The sequel please.
Well, I haven't seen it so. OK, well, I'm gonna.
Is it good? Happy Gilmore 1 was great.
Happy Gilmore 1 might be in my top 10 comedies of all time.
Great comedy. Hilarious.
Great. Great.
Probably, you know, unreal. Yeah.

(31:49):
Happy Gilmore 1. Unreal.
Happy Guilmore 2 on the other hand is probably the biggest
pile of dog shit I have watched in a while.
I hated it. I hated everything about it.
Why the story? Pulls out a scroll and then just
unravel it comes outside outsidethe the door.

(32:11):
So I think the story of Happy Guilmore 2.
Yeah. Shits on the first one.
As in like it's way better. No, as in it, it makes the first
one worse. Have you got more ones about
this hockey player who learns how to play golf and is like,
lie? He's not meant to be on the golf
course. It's a bit funny.
He has anger management. Yeah.

(32:32):
Have you got more 22? He's so depressed and so
miserable. He's an alcoholic.
He's he's just a, you know, there's this running joke that's
like funny once and they keep bringing it back.
And then it just gets not funny.He keeps like, hiding his
alcohol in like, objects, but the objects get more and more
ridiculous. OK, so he's at the supermarket
and he's talking to a bloke and then he just like, pulls out a
cucumber and then unscrews it and it's got alcohol in it.

(32:55):
You're like, oh, that's kind of funny.
That's pretty funny. And then it keeps going, keeps
going. And it's like when they don't
have a joke to tell, it's like, I'm just going to grab my phone
and the remote's got alcohol in it.
And, you know, I'm just like, OK.
But the worst part about the movie, The absolute worst part
about the movie, is they randomly cut back to Happy
Gilmore one. Oh the flash like flashbacks.

(33:15):
Not even flashbacks. Not even flashbacks.
It's like he'll be like, oh, I recognise that guy.
I've seen that guy on the one walks down and ends the caddy
and he's like, oh good day, how you going mate?
And then he just goes cut. It's not a flashback, it's just
a hard cut. I guess it is a flashback, but
it's not a flashback. It's just.
A Remember this guy? Yes, I remember this guy well,
what the hell? Hard cuts to him just strangling
the caddy and then hard cuts back and I'm like, that's funny.

(33:36):
Yeah. Because I'm watching the
previous movie, You know, it's funny because I'm just.
I'm retelling the joke joke fromthe first.
Movie. Yeah, yeah.
And it's like, and it's like, I remember people being like, oh,
you can go to these movies and they're silly and just kind of
like, you know, they're silly. Yeah, but like, like, you can do
silly good. And this was just, it was just
dumb. And it felt like Adam Sandler

(33:57):
didn't want to make this movie. That's sad.
You watch it and he wasn't even playing Happy.
He was playing Adam Sandler in aNetflix movie, which made it so
heartbreaking to watch. And also because it is a Netflix
movie, it has the Netflix like Shane and Gloss and like that.
True, it just looks like it. Looks like a Netflix movie.
Happy good one had that grit andlike realism to it and this one

(34:18):
just doesn't. I wonder if that's just because
Adam Sandler signed like a Netflix contract.
And I wonder if as a part of thecontract that were like, you
need to give us at least a sequel to either Billy Madison
or Happy Gilmore. I think you're right.
And that's that's probably the last movie in his whole contract
for Netflix, and that's why he saved it for so long.
Yeah, I think you're right. And and, you know, they probably

(34:40):
made him probably made Netflix amillion, You know, people
watched it. I, you know, I just was just so
disappointed in it because like,I might get into spoilers.
I'm going to say spoilers now. So this probably going to be the
last thing we've talked about onthe podcast.
So like, if you don't, if you want to watch Happy Gilmore,
then just don't. But the rest of us, probably.
Just gonna watch Happy Gilmore. I'm gonna be honest.
Happy Gilmore, too. Just listen to the podcast.
This terrible. So at the very start of the

(35:02):
movie, before credits roll, you know, getting into the movie,
his voice overing, like, what's what's been happening?
Yeah, he killed his wife. He killed his wife by hitting a
golf ball into her head and killed her.
And you're like, that's kind of funny.
You're like, OK, that's pretty funny.
Like he killed her by. And then he's like, I'm never
touching a Golf Club ever again.Yeah, but I'm like, she was a

(35:22):
great character from the first one.
She's a great actress, the mum from Modern Family, fantastic
actress. They kill her off instantly.
She comes in some flashbacks like Happy Gilmore's Happy Place
and all that sort of stuff and all that sort of thing.
Yeah, but I'm like, why would you get rid of her when like,
and then they're like, oh, then happy.
He's like, I'm not playing golf anymore.
And then he gets like roped backinto it because he wants to send
his daughter to ballet, ballet, ballet glasses and stuff.

(35:45):
And like the story's like, OK, But then the ending he battles.
He battles this other golf league that's like this.
It's like golf, but like extremesports version of golf.
OK. And like, we made this for you
happy. Like happy you like did that big
hit now, everyone. And then so everyone can swing
like happy in this golf league. And the reason why they can

(36:07):
swing like happy in this golf league because there's a tendon
in their hip that they've like, severed, severed.
So you can like, stretch around further and then hit the golf
ball harder. So they're like genetically
enhanced golfers. OK.
And it's just so bad. Like it's just so bad.
Like why I? Don't understand it.
And then and then the final puttthat he has to make.

(36:29):
It's him in Bad Bunny, and Bad Bunny's his caddy.
First of all, I'll talk about some good stuff.
Bad Bunny, hilarious, great in it.
Bad Bunny was the only good partabout the whole movie, honestly.
And Travis Kelsey, he was prettyfunny in it.
So those two people were good. Because I've heard it's got a
lot of cameos. Every everything's a cameo, OK?
Eminem's in it. This basketball player that the
Beauban big tall basketball players in it.

(36:50):
Like there's a few cameos. Yeah.
And they're all just like Kobacks to the previous movie.
And you're watching it like these are all Kobacks to the
previous movie, but done worse. So I just want to watch the
previous movie. Yeah.
The whole time you just like, it's just constant callbacks and
cameos and it's just isn't a movie on its own face.
It's. Really it's.
Really hard to watch. I I ended up like just I was I

(37:11):
finished it and then I just wentto bed and like laid down.
I was just like, that was why don't even bother.
It was so shit anyway, so then the the final party has to make
it's like this course that gets like risen up and it's like a
teeter totter thing, like the green thing.
And then you have to like stand on it and then Bad Bunny, it's
like balance on it and they're balancing and then it starts to
spin and you're like, what? What happened to golf?

(37:32):
What? What am I watching?
Is it a golf movie? Yeah.
What's? It like why?
Why can't he just like, play against someone who hits the
ball just like him or he's. Or he's just slightly better.
Or his kids. Are like good at like where
where's like another like there's a different story here
that could be so much more engaging than like we're we're
driving on buggies and you have to hit the golf ball as you're
driving and then and then one ofthe one one of the tracks is ice

(37:55):
and it's you know, oh, shooter Mcgavin was really good in it.
So he was another really good thing, but the actor was really
good the this his arc and story.He's like in a mental
institution and like hates happy.
And then they have like a fight in a in a graveyard and then
they're like walking past a graveyard stone.
And it's the girl from the firstmovie that gets crushed by the
heater. And then it just hard cuts back

(38:16):
to the heater, hard cut back to the movie.
It's just so like disjointed andconfusing.
You know, you know who else did a lot of flashbacks in movies
and This is why you just know it's a bad movie.
Flashbacks The Matrix 4 The matrix four half the movie is
like whoa and Trinity and Neo were in love. 5 minute flashback
of watching like the matrix the first movie and you're like what

(38:38):
is going on here? Why am I watching?
Yeah, that's the worst bit, I think.
Which movie am I watching? I think that's the worst bit is
is a a sequel to a movie should still be its own movie.
Well. By being a sequel, it implies
you've probably seen the first one more I mean.
A flashback. Exactly why am I still?
And you know, what comes down toit's that Netflix thing that

(39:00):
we've heard before when they like keep reiterating the
audience, the storage over and over and over again.
So like people because people like half watch Netflix.
Movies, they're always on their.Phone.
And that's what Happy Gilmore 2 was.
It was like, remember this guy from the first?
One and you're like on your phone you're like Oh yeah I do
remember that and then. You're back on your and it's
just like Happy Gilmore 1 was such a great comedy.
And then they do a sequel to it and then they just sort of like,

(39:23):
I don't know, just like shit on the fan base of the first.
That's what it felt like. Yeah.
And I'm pissed off about it because I really liked the first
one and I was excited. And I like Adam Sandler.
I think he's a great actor. I think he, I just think this
and he looked like he didn't want to be there.
Honestly. He might have fun making it and
appreciate that. Good on him.
Well, I think that's the whole thing is like, probably why I
was so wacky and silly was because he was like, I haven't

(39:43):
all of this Netflix, like Netflix's money.
Let's just make something that'll be really fun for us.
To get all my mates together andhang out and there's some good
cameos and some fun stuff. There's a, there's a golfer who
John Daly, I think his name is. And he's like a golfer who gets
like drunk before golf games andlike like he has interviews
where he's like, oh, it was like, oh, what'd you do to
practice? He's like, oh, I hit like 20
balls, had a beer and then I'm out here and he wins.

(40:05):
He beat Tiger Woods and stuff like he's just this guy and he
was in it and he was really funny and he was like Happy
Gilmore's like drunk roommate who lives in his garage.
And I thought that was all pretty good.
There's some good moments in it,don't get me wrong.
But man, like it felt like therewas just so much unnecessary
crap. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Yeah, and just Netflix, man, I just feel like, and, and it

(40:26):
works for them. They just keep churning out
movies that are whatever and then they've got Stranger Things
and people keep buying Netflix because of the good shit, you
know what I mean? Like.
They only need one good show. Yeah, they've got Squid Game and
Stranger Things and everyone's like, well, I'll watch.
Happy Guild Wars season 3 was pretty shit as well.
Oh really? That's what I heard, yeah, Yeah,
I didn't see it either, but. You know what I mean?
Like, it's frustrating. It's frustrating for people that

(40:49):
enjoy. And the sad thing is, is
comedies aren't hitting at the moment.
Apparently the new Naked Gun's really good, which I'm excited.
I really want to go say yeah. Yeah, I'm going to invite to the
premiere though. Really.
I didn't. We should.
I didn't say. We should go because that'll be
really fun. I did I it's too late.
I would have. I think it's out now so bad.
Great. That's yeah, I've heard that's

(41:09):
really good. The one of The Lonely Island
guys did it and it's like matches their humour.
I think that's going to be really good.
But comedies aren't in a great spot at the moment and I'm just
worried that Happy Gilmore 2 is another step backwards for
comedies. That's the way you've brought
it. You've brought it all around.
And that's my biggest fear. Nice.
And that's why I'm so passionateabout Happy Gilmore.
You brought that whole rant right back around.

(41:29):
Right back around, nice little. YouTube Outro.
And that's one view. Anyway, guys, leave a like on
the View if you enjoyed, subscribe if you're not
subscribed. And with that, let's make
comedies great again. Well, that's all the time we
have on the Wizards Tower. If you'd like to reach the
Wizards, you can send her now tothe Wizards Tower [e-mail].

(41:52):
And you can also follow us on Instagram and Tiktok.
Well, that is anyway. Don't forget to grab your hat,
grab your star, and we'll see you on the next episode of The
Wizard's Tower.