56: We Give Our Hottest Takes

1. Housewarming party 2. Which Wizard's Which 3. Wizard's Flaming Hot Takes

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Oh dude, have you been watching the news?
No. What happened?
Oh. You, you haven't seen you
haven't seen anything on it. No.
What's 0? My God, this poor bloody giant,
right? Had his home invaded by a giant
Beanstalk. Some some kid climbed up the
Beanstalk home, invaded him, stole his pet, right?
And then when the giant came down the Beanstalk to get his

(00:21):
pet back, yeah, the kid fucking chopped the Beanstalk down and
killed the giant. Oh my God, yeah.
Did I not hear? About this isn't the whole
village cheered him giant so youkilled the giant, you killed
the. Giant so happy that he murdered
something. Happy that he.
Yeah, yeah, I've known that giant 30 years.
OK. God, he's he's been he's been
around the tower before. He just kept to himself.

(00:41):
Super quiet. Very nice guy.
Beautiful hen that laid golden eggs.
It was sensational. Now he's dead.
And now this kids got the goldenghost.
Yeah. He got rewarded.
For he got rewarded and now he'sgot this.
And the whole village was. Cheering.
Unbelievable. I can't believe it.
Yeah, I just. What's the world come to?
Yeah. The world's gone.
Next they're gonna be coming up the Wizard's Tower and bloody
stealing our our orbs. Not our orbs, our orbes going

(01:06):
back to the wizard. 'S tower come back to the
wizard. 'S tower.

(01:26):
We got some big news, some beautiful news, some great news
actually. Really big.
It's really big. It's the greatest news you've
ever heard. We have finally after after I
had many a talks with Spotify and they kept fucking telling me
what are you doing? We finally switched the podcast

(01:47):
over to a Spotify creator account, which basically just
means we can upload video to Spotify now.
Visuals. Visuals.
Yeah, we have the. Yeah, the visuals have hit the
tower this well, technically theRSS feed has changed, so this is
technically the second tower. Yes, true.
And the visuals of visual secondhave hit the second 'cause.
They were already on the 1st at YouTube yeah and now they're on

(02:08):
the second tower, the second tower, which is Spotify yeah
visuals have hit the second at big sorry.
You know, big beautiful bill, the big beautiful Spotify bill.
We've we've finally. Started.
We got the OK from Spotify 'cause.
I, I've, I, no, I, I know Spotify personally.
Mr. Spotify, Mr. Spotify and Mr.Spotify.
They're lovely people. He he goes by Spot, Yeah.

(02:30):
Please call me Spot. Please call me.
Spot, please call me Mr. Spotify, please, Mr. Spotify is
my dad's name. Call me Mr. And I've been
talking to them for ages and I've been like, why?
Why are you using ACARS? And I was like, I don't know,
it's just. I don't know.
Yeah, we heard. It's cool.
And they were like, you really should switch over to the

(02:52):
Spotify stuff. So it's still getting
distributed to Apple Podcasts and all that.
But now we can just upload videoon Spotify and Spotify.
It's been. It's been.
Huge. Yeah, it's kind of amazing.
It's super exciting. So now you can go back and
listen and watch all the episodes on Spotify.
Well, up to episode 45. I think because and we'll
trickle them out as we. Go.

(03:13):
I've been uploading all of them.Yeah yeah, all the videos, but I
was excited, dude. My Internet got upgraded as
well. Perfect timing.
Perfect timing. This all went through and then
yesterday my Internet got upgraded.
I have one Gigabit download and 100 megabits upload now.
I uploaded 8 gigabytes which is what usually a podcast app is

(03:34):
with video. 12 minutes that's insane yeah that's insane that's
perfect timing 'cause that's what we need so yeah yeah huge,
huge news so go back and watch all the.
Yeah, go back and listen to themall.
Make sure you listen to all the ads all the way through.
Click the ad button. There's some Easter eggs in the
ads. Towards the end of the ads,
there's some little Easter eggs,yeah, that you have to listen

(03:54):
to. You might have to get them.
To the whole ad. You also might not get them on
the first listen through. Yeah.
So you might actually have to listen to them again.
Yeah, to get the little. And then you're gonna have to
comment on the video and be like, oh man, I loved all the
ads. Yeah, the ads were amazing.
These are great. These are great.
I love the. Wizard's Tower ads are the best
the. Best ads We should put more.
They need more. They need more.
Ads, can we can we actually givethem the same amount of ads,

(04:16):
but. Pay them more.
That's I mean 'cause. We just enjoy listening to our
podcast. More, I think that would
probably help the Yeah, ad people out ad people out the ad
people. Yeah.
You know those guys. Yeah, Mr. Ad, Mr. Rad.
Yeah, I know them. Yeah, the AD family, yeah.
Please call me AD. So dumb.
Other news, I had a house warming the other day.

(04:38):
Yeah, house warming party. And it was super fun, I'm not
gonna lie. Yeah, I was.
Yeah. I lit that house on fire.
It was super fun. It was it.
I was not gonna lie. I was a bit anxious about it
'cause I wasn't sure, you know, we just moved into this new
place. Wasn't sure what the neighbors
gonna be like. Everyone was so dressed.
On that is. Just your address.

(04:59):
I was better just drop your address.
Wait, what? Oh, shit.
Yeah. Super good.
But it was nice to find, like, have some like a social event
with my housemates. There's two, like, I know one of
them, Harry Warm Rivet. He's been on the stream before.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, some Jackson Field fans might know him, but I'm

(05:20):
living with him now. And then we've got 2 new
housemates. It was nice to sort of catch up
with them and get to know, you know, have when you, you don't
really know someone, do you havea beer with them?
You know what I mean? It's very Australian.
That's so true. You don't know if they have like
hidden anger issues or maybe they've got like potential
unsolved, kind of like unresolved trauma that they're
just going to bring up and and kind of cry on your shoulder

(05:43):
with. Yeah, yeah.
But everyone was great. Oh, that's good.
So yeah, everyone was super chill.
Everyone was normal. My housemate is really good at
video games. Yeah, yeah, I can attest.
I've witnessed this. It's actually insane.
Please. Pray tell.
So one video game that I play for I played for a long time is
League of Legends. It's OK all.

(06:04):
Right, moving on. And I my at my current peak at
Emerald three. Yeah.
My housemate's current peak was Diamond 1.
Whoa. That's really good.
Yeah. Yeah, he also diamonds are.
Rarer than emeralds. Well, they better.
They're more expensive anyway. According to that company that
hoards them all. Yeah, yeah.
Apparently they're rare. Yeah, I don't know.
So yeah, he's he was Diamond 1 and he also like when the OCA

(06:28):
League of Legends teams happening, he actually got
invited to go like try out for ateam that's insane.
And he said no because he doesn't want to play League of
Legends for the rest of his life.
And I fully I can fully agree with that.
And that's crazy. So he was telling me all this,
and I was like, that's insane. So he's really good at League.
Yeah. And I was like, wow, he can't be
that good at other games. Like.
But you know, League doesn't transfer over.
Yeah. Yeah.
So then I versed him in Super Smash Bros Ultimate on the

(06:49):
Switch. Yeah.
And we both played the exact same characters.
It's a fighting game, you know, Mario Nintendo fighting game
Some. Smash Brothers.
Yeah, you played Pokémon. Trainer, He plays Pokémon
Trainer. Yeah, and we had a Pokémon
trainer, they call him Dittos, where it's like the same
character and it was intense. I've never versed someone.
It was like as you're watching it.
Dude, I yeah, I witnessed this whole thing.

(07:10):
It was, you know, I'm not, I'm not one for, you know, you, you
watch Smash Brothers. Usually you're playing at a
friend's house. It's pretty.
It's pretty. Whatever, people are spamming
buttons but not really hitting each other, you know someone
falls off the. Stage This was insane.
This was like 2 Yeah, at work. And it was the same characters.

(07:31):
And it was probably the closest fight I have ever seen just in a
video game in general. Like you guys were one for one
in each other this whole time. And it was it was intense.
It was. Yeah.
And then you beat. Him I beat him on the 1st.
Game on the first game. It was.
I got up. I stood up.
I was like sweating. My heart was pounding.

(07:53):
And usually, like, Super Smash Brothers games go for like
fucking in 5 minutes. Yeah, it was like.
Ten yeah, minutes of becoming intense.
A crowd started to form. Me and me and my housemates
sitting there, and we both just sort of turn around.
There's like 15 people behind usand they're like, holy fuck.
Jackson's like sitting next to me.
And I just hear in my ear like, what am I watching?
It was just, I was like, I was like, Oh my God, Oh my God.

(08:15):
And that's all. Next to me was like was like bro
this is crazy. I'm like.
Gosh, you can't distract you, man.
I was locked in. It was.
It was. My housemate took his shirt off.
He. Was yeah, that's how he knew it
was getting serious. He got me out with his shirt off
and he was like, oh, he just satdown.
He's like, right, let's go. And I was like, oh shit.
He was taking that very seriously.
So we we did AI won the first game, which was the closest and

(08:36):
then we were just gonna have oneand done.
But then you. But it was such fun that we're
like our best of three and then he and then he won the next two
that weren't as close to the first one.
I think my adrenaline like dropped off and I was like not
as like locked in. Yeah, I'm sure that's what it
was, yeah. But then I've played him a
couple of nights after the housewarming and he's definitely just
better than me. Like I flipped it in the first

(08:56):
one. He did look better, he just, I
mean no offence. Yeah, no, just clean at it.
Yeah, he was composed the whole time.
Yeah, it was crazy. He was super clean and that was
probably the highlight for me from the house warming.
Yeah, watching that, Yeah. Wizards Witch.
This is a little game called Witch Wizards Witch.
Who played it before? Who's Wizard?

(09:17):
Me. I'm itch.
What? What, Mitch?
Wizards, Mitch. Mitch is the wizard Mitch.
Mitch who's witch, witch, Wizards witch.
This is like most likely to. So which wizard is most likely
to which wizard is going to do this with?
There's some fantasy stuff in here, a little bit of just
random stuff, yeah. Let's start off with #1 which

(09:38):
wizard is most likely to forget a spell mid incantation?
Incantation. Incantation.
Me by an improvise? A nonsense rhyme.
Well, see, you got to be able toread the incantation before you
can before you can summon it. So yeah.
How hard it is to be a dyslexic wizard.
Let's just get on I'm. Dyslexic.

(09:58):
Oh I can't read. Oh God, life is hard for me.
Get over it. Just I don't know what your
problem is. Just read the words.
It's not that hard. I don't know, I.
Read I read half of it in the make up the it's me so.
It's me. I'm starting to.
I don't even think that's dyslexia.
I think that's just. Laziness.
I can't of love that in. Connotation.

(10:22):
What did I say? What was the first thing?
I don't even know. Anyway, it's me, you bookworm.
You'll be like, it's Levios, son, and I'm like Levios,
Levios. He'll do.
Leviosa, not Leviosa all. Right next one.
Which wizard is most likely to get lost in their own hometown?

(10:42):
Get lost in their own hometown. I think it could be me,
honestly. I mean, if Brisbane's your
hometown, it's pretty big. Yeah, although I do know my way
around pretty well, but I still,I use maps, I rely on maps very
heavily. So do I, you know, the only one
of the only reasons I haven't switched to like a, you know, a

(11:04):
dumb phone or anything is because I really need Google
Maps. Yeah, all the time.
Yeah, I'm. I'm the same.
I don't know where anything is but I feel like.
But your hometown's pretty small.
I feel like you wouldn't be ableto.
I've I've got lost big time. There's like 6.
Streets in the whole no. It's bigger than that mate.
It's really 7. It's bigger than that.
There's at least. Three traffic lights in the
whole blaze. There was one night when I was

(11:25):
with me mate and we're at one ofmy mate's house.
We're picking up beers from his his place.
Yeah. And then we had to walk from his
place to another mate's house that literally leaves the street
behind. OK, right.
Yeah, that's, that's the location.
Literally a 5 minute walk, if that not even that like 2 minute
walk. Yeah.
And I'm go to the toilet and allmy mates leave and I come out

(11:48):
and I'm talking to these parentsand I'm standing there the whole
time they're having a good guys chat with me.
Oh, you know, it's great to see and all sorts of stuff back in
my mind all the time. I'm like, I don't know where my
other mate's house is. I need, I'm gonna and then I run
out into the street pitch black.I look around, none of my I like
walking. I hear someone on the I rang
ring one of my mates. I'm like, oh, where are you
guys? Like trying to work out.

(12:08):
I'm like, oh, what's the Addy again?
He's like, dude, it's like around the corner.
I'm like yeah just send me the Addy.
Yeah. So what is that?
Yeah, what is that? He's like, dude, like, you know
where it is? I'm like, yeah, yeah.
And then I hear someone on theirphone.
Straight away I'm like, oh, thatmust be where he is.
I run down there, just some random bloke on his phone.
And you, it looks like your mate.
You turn him around. Just slightly different looking
guy. What girl?

(12:29):
Sorry, I thought. You were.
Oh my bad. Somebody else?
But yeah, so that was kind of yeah.
And I lost and then I had to getone of the other mates.
OK, so. Yeah, OK, maybe it is.
It's because that's that's insane.
Yeah, I know. It's pretty bad.
I have zero sense of direction. I'm the same.
I need maps for everything. Yeah.
Yep. And also like don't really pay
attention when I'm driving like where I am.

(12:49):
See that is that is a symptom ora result of.
Using maps too much, yeah? When you don't use maps at all,
it's like, it's like when you're, you're like a baby and
you're learning language or you like go to a foreign country and
you like start picking up the language.
As soon as you don't have maps you just start absorbing
information of like where to go I.

(13:10):
Probably should just turn maps off.
I should try and see if I can get to your house without maps.
I don't think I could. Yeah, I don't know about.
That I've done, I've done this drive like 20 times.
Yeah, I fuck, I don't think I could get here.
Yeah. Also maps takes me a different
way I feel like every time. Oh, that's the worst part.
It took me the craziest way to climbing the other day.
Yeah, yeah, I was, it was dumbfounded.
I ended up going the most insaneroute only to end up on a road

(13:35):
that is 2 minutes away. And I was like, I know how to
get here and it's what, you justfollow one road and it takes you
right here. But it took me like all the way
right sideways and then you go down a side street and then you
got to merge across 6 lanes to get into the office.
What the hell? What is going on here?
It's ridiculous. I feel like what?
What maps do you use? Apple.
Google. Google Maps?

(13:55):
Yeah, so use Apple. And I think Apple's bad too.
Google takes you the fastest possible way, but that's even if
it means 5 seconds faster. Yeah.
So if you just follow one St., it might be, you know, it might
be a minute slower. But it's easy.
But you're not going through 7 backstreets but Google's like.
No bro, you need the quickest possible way.

(14:17):
This is this is the quickest possible way.
Unless you get stuck trying to merge for like 15 minutes
because that happens a lot, especially in Melbourne.
Especially in Melbourne. Yeah, we're not.
We were going to climbing. Actually yesterday I I was
driving down. I don't even know what Rd. it
is, but there's five lanes and Ihad to go straight through.

(14:37):
There was 2 lanes that might have ended up on a highway.
Then the other three lanes you could turn right to go down the
other side of the highway. And so I was like which fucking
lane am I supposed to be in? I look at the signs, there is a
an arrow that goes right. So I'm going, OK, I don't want
to be in the lanes that go rightand then there's the other
arrows were a forward and veering slightly off to the

(15:00):
left. And I went, OK, well, I gotta go
straight through the intersection.
I think it might be the forward and slightly to the left.
So I get into that lane, I'm driving and then all of a sudden
I see a barrier start to appear between the the lane I'm in and
the rest of the lanes. And I go, this is weird.
And I look to my right and I seeeverybody else going straight

(15:21):
through and I just veer off to the left and I go all the way
around and I get onto the highway and I have to in the
opposite direction I'm supposed to be going and I have to catch
the highway all the way to the next exit to turn around, go
back onto the highway and come all the way back.
I. Feel like that's so much worse
in Brisbane too. I feel like Brisbane is like a
is the city of one ways. The other times I've like tried

(15:44):
to drive to the airport and likedidn't go down the right thing
and then now I'm just like on the other side of Brisbane.
It's just mental. I think, I think Melbourne's
worse because it's so poorly signed and the the city is so
poorly planned. You make one wrong move,
especially in peak hour. 40 minutes actually a trip peak.
Hours fun, yeah. Which is always in Melbourne,

(16:05):
it's always peak. That's good point, yeah.
So I literally saw when I took that turn, 15 minutes get added
to my trip and I was like oh legendary yeah this is sick.
I was actually going to be therein like 5 minutes.
Well, and you beat me there anyway because Apple Maps took
me the most fast way in. In general.
Yeah. Yeah.
I walk in. Jack's like, oh, man, where have
you been? I was like, I don't know.
I was like looking for a park, like 2 minutes.

(16:27):
I thought for sure I was going to beat you.
Yeah. There you go.
Next one, which wizard is most likely to pull a sickie due to a
hangover? I don't think I've ever pulled a
sick. Oh I get sick from hangovers but
I will make sure that I don't work because I'm like sick for
like 5 days. I'll make sure I don't work like
Monday Tuesday. See I've never pulled a sickie

(16:49):
in my life wow except in school.But my working career when I
when I finished my apprenticeship I had like 3
because it would roll over everyyear.
I had like a couple 100 hours insick leave because I didn't take
a single day. I think I took one day off sick.
My entire thing. I cut my finger open like to the

(17:11):
bone, had to get stitches. I was at the hospital till like
11 at night. Yeah, still went to work the
next day at 6:00 AM. No, rocked out of the office.
Oh, we're having your finger. No, I don't want that in mind.
Yeah, she said. It's my heart.
Just. Yeah.
Rub me a dirt knit, mate. Keep working.
That's mental. Yeah, I will pull sickies if if
I can justify like in my morale mind that I need to have a sick

(17:35):
day. But if I'm hungover, that guy
doesn't justify. Well, like, that's my fault.
That's my fault. Yeah, yeah, I agree with that.
Yeah, So like being hungover is like, it's like a punishment.
Like, well, you, you drank that night before you have to go to
work. Well then I don't think either
of us would even consider. That yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought it was going to be you.
I thought you were a little bit of a little bitch.

(17:56):
Well, you see, because, you know, I just know that I
wouldn't even get into the situation where I would be
hungry because, you know, I don't, I don't know if you
notice about me, but I don't, I'm not which we're not really
much of A drinker. Is most likely to hook up with
their boss. That's you.
Most. I don't have a boss exactly.
And make out with myself in the mirror.
Why do you keep staring at me? You keep making eye contact me,

(18:17):
Why do you keep staring at me? Who's my boss?
You. Oh, I, I know.
All right. Next question.
Well, maybe never think about it.
No, please. Which one is most likely to win
a race? Well, we don't answer that one.
Woo, that's me. Go watch.

(18:38):
Oh, you can probably see it on Spotify now.
Oh. Actually, I got to find that
episode, yeah, and upload. That and use AI to fix it, yeah.
Yeah, so I don't know if you guys don't know the law behind
that. We did have a running race and I
tripped over my own fucking robe.
I don't know that's true. And fell over.
I was, I was so I was like easily.

(18:58):
I easily had you. And I remember running next to
you and I wasn't going full power.
And I went, I said something. Yeah, yeah.
Like. Not a chance.
Or something and I fucking put it into OverDrive mode.
Instantly took you over like Usain Bolt.
I was looking behind you and then my robe got caught over my
foot and I tripped. Over you can see it perfectly.
You can see the moment. Because we we obviously raced

(19:21):
now Wizard Rose. Yeah, we had to race in the
wizard. Rose We weren't allowed to use
brooms. No, Yeah, yeah.
So it was pure muscle power, which is pretty rare for Wizards
to use, so I'm surprised we evenwere able to.
Run actually. Like I'm surprised my legs
weren't actually. From teleporting everywhere.
I couldn't believe that. Yeah.
So it was kind of like that Australian bloke who did the ice
skating, you know, the IT was named Bradbury.

(19:43):
Oh yeah. Everyone else fell fellow.
But then he's blunt. That's exactly what it was.
Yeah. I mean, you know, I was able to
stay on my feet. I feel like that's in itself.
Is it? Yeah, I tell you, who is the
fastest, Frank? Yeah, yeah.
Frank Smoke. It's.
Actually it's. Crazy.
The amount of acceleration that's melt has and.
How he is, Yeah, it's crazy. You'll be spreading as fast as

(20:06):
you can. He's right.
You're he's just nipping you thewhole time.
And you know, he's, he's like running next to you on purpose.
Like he could definitely just take off if he wanted to.
Yeah, he's an athlete. Yeah, and he's just snoozing
right now, saving his energy. Which wizard is most likely to
get banned from the Wizards cancel and what?
For the Wizards, cancel. Yeah, Interesting.
Cancelled. Getting cancelled.

(20:27):
Cancelled by the Wizards. Cancelled.
It was the most. Likely to get cancelled by other
Wizards. That's interesting you were
talking to a 115 year old girl. I thought she was.
I thought she was. She said she was 118.
I swear, I swear. You're 500 years old.
What do you mean you start to find love these days?

(20:47):
I don't know. They're all.
Witches who's most likely to be kicked out?
Yeah, And what for? I reckon.
I reckon you do some dark man. I reckon you're a bit of a bad
boy. Yeah.
What? Can I say I've been doing
necromancy? Or something like that.
Something gross. What I've been doing something
like necrophilia? Or something.
No. You mean necromancy?

(21:08):
No, no, what's that? The same thing.
Yeah, as long. As we're talking about the sex
thing, yeah. Is that the sex thing with dead
people? So I'll be doing that.
Yeah, because that one. Yeah, I could see you're getting
kicked out. You reckon it's for necromancy?
I I think I'd do something, yeah.
I'd be reviving the dead. I don't know which dead person

(21:29):
I'd like to revive. Maybe like Abraham Lincoln or
something. It'd be kind of interesting.
It's. A weird one to go to.
I don't know who else. Who would you?
Revive probably like like Freddie Mercury and get like AI
don't know. It's just a corpse.
Yeah. I don't know.
You know what I mean? I.
Don't know someone someone who like will play a song for me.
Norm MacDonald play a. Song for you.

(21:50):
You just disturbed him from the afterlife.
Play a song for. Me maybe.
Rhapsody maybe? Like no, I don't think so.
Come on mate, your teeth just fold out, Mama.
Kill me. Kill me.
Yeah. Which wizard is most likely to
get too competitive in a friendly game?

(22:12):
You. Yeah, that's what we made.
I saw. I witnessed it.
Yeah. I.
Witnessed it. There's nothing friendly about
that game, holy shit. Me, I just, you know, I'm just
happy to be there. Yeah, You know, because this is
because I don't really drink either.
I don't know if you know this about me.
It's sort of. It's the next wizard.
Which wizard is a fucking littlebitch.
Yeah, which wasn't cool. Let me think.

(22:32):
Interesting. Yeah, I was getting it was
competitive, but it was all set up to be competitive.
It was friendly though friendly competitiveness.
Yeah, for sure. It's.
All fun and games towards. The end until you like punch
that wall and. Then so I let his cat out.
It's all fun games. So I let his cat out, which was
his most likely to get cursed and not noticed for several
months. Oh, OK, What kind of curse are

(22:55):
we talking about here? Well.
That's something we wouldn't notice.
Yeah, I feel like. We wouldn't notice.
I feel like it would be you probably and you just chalk it
up to bad. Life.
I think so. Yeah.
Bad. Oh man, I keep spilling stuff.
Milk's rotten and I literally bought this morning.
Probably, yeah. Probably.
Yeah, I'd give it. I'd give it the benefit of the
doubt. All the flowers in my house have

(23:17):
died. Keep dying.
Oh no. Well.
Must be, must be. I must not be watering.
Everything I touch, guys. Oh well, must be me.
Strange. Every every nice.
Sort itself. Every time I'm in a place alone
in a dark room, I hear Oh. Weird.
Must be the wind. Just like hell is that probably

(23:38):
Yeah, that'd be a pretty funny bit.
Just like curse someone who justjust like, you know, just so non
piano. Falls just just passed you.
Whoa. That's weird.
That was crazy. Yeah.
Just so lucky. But you've got a curse on you.
Oh. Oh, a penny piano falls in front
of an amble. Oh, shit.
Oh, damn. Yeah.
Whoops. Yeah, well.
Yeah, that could work. There's one time when I was at

(23:59):
school, actually, this might be like a curse that I didn't even
realise I was walking. Yeah, I remember so clearly.
I was walking. I was in primary school.
I was walking to the front gate.And then I heard someone yell at
my name and I stopped and turnedand no one was there.
Oh, that's weird. And I turned around and just as
I was about to take one step, bird poop straight down Landon.
Really. Yeah, dude, that was that, that

(24:20):
that was you. And you had you had the necklace
on. Wow.
Turn back time. Yeah, the.
Time Turner. Whatever it's.
Called from Harry Potter. Is that really what my hair
looks like from the? Back, yeah.
And you're like, yeah. And then rang up and.
Then a wrecking. Ball came out, yeah.
I just bullied myself. Well, I rang up.
Yes, I just saw. Never mind, never mind.

(24:45):
And then bird poop fell right infront of me.
I was like wow, that was cool. I remember thinking like I
remember being like 8 years old.I'm like, well that was lucky.
And just kept walking. No, no, no.
That future you, that it actually you got shit on was
like ruined your life. Yeah, yeah.
Bullied for the rest of my. Life.
You'll like meet the Robinsons. Yeah.
Yeah. With that one guy was like,
everybody hated me. You wanna hang out later?
Hey, bitch. Hey.

(25:06):
Nice here, Mitchell. Yeah.
Like what you did with it today?Is that bird poop?
Cool. Hated.
Me. Which was is most likely to
accidentally break a world record and what would it be?
Accidentally break a world record.
What would you accidentally break most views on TikTok?
Most wanks in one day I. Wonder what that is?

(25:30):
Do you want to look that up? No, OK, It just says Mitchell
Barry. Do you reckon, do you reckon
Guinness Book of World Records is going to sit there and watch
that for like 15 hours? Like wow, you're just.
Still, you're still going. That's insane.
He's got chafing. He's got carpal tunnel in his
wrist. I think he has to be
circumcised. Let's move on like you'd
fucking. Most likely to to do it

(25:51):
unknowingly like. Yeah, a complete accident.
Oh, I reckon mine would be like most screen time in one day.
Yeah. Most fantastic crackers eaten in
one day, yeah. Or something.
Like that. Yeah, yeah, I reckon mom be
eating the same food for the longest.
Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, yeah.
I reckon like I've literally eaten the same food for like a.

(26:12):
Year Nelly and you'd give prisoners.
A run for that. Yeah, legit.
Yeah. I'm like, why is he doing this
to himself? Why is he treating his life like
a prisoner? It's just Gray slop.
Ever. Than the body.
Yeah, the last one. Which wizard is most likely to
embarrass themselves in front ofa crush?
Probably you, mate. I've never embarrassed myself.

(26:34):
Man, I don't feel embarrassment.Yeah, embarrassment is a, is a,
is a. It's a construct.
It's a construct. I don't get it.
Yeah. This one time my mates talk
about this all the time, which is quite funny.
I I, I was at this party when I was like 18, maybe 18 and my
mate had a pool. There was this big party, lots

(26:56):
of girls there and I, I brought my speedos, just my speedos and
I wore only speed. Everyone else had, you know, all
the shorts on like or whatever. And I wore my speedos.
All the guys were, oh, it's likevogging.
Who's vogging, loser? Look at look at this G word
right here, this look at this F word.

(27:16):
Yeah, he's got his speedos on, but guess what?
The girls loved it. Loved it.
Wow. I ended up hooking up with a
chick at that party. In Speedos, that's crazy.
Yeah, that's crazy. You know, confidence is is fair.
Confidence is key just to life. But.
That's that's pretty. I don't think I've ever heard

(27:37):
anyone hook up with someone in speedos at a fucking at a high
school party. Just after high.
School, that's crazy. Wow, that is confidence, so give
you that. Yeah, confidence is key, 'cause
I looked like a fucking loser with those speedos on, but it
worked. Damn.
Maybe that's what they call, youknow, like peacocking.
You know, like you have those professional, those professional

(27:58):
pick up artists where they have like the most fucked up hair and
shit and they're like, dude, this guy's weird.
Because I'm wearing Speedos. Peacocking.
You were peacocking. I had a Peach.
Peach. It was really cold that day too,
so it was Peacock Peach. Smugglers.
Peach shaped balls. My God.
Instead of budgie smugglers, Peacock smugglers.
Yeah, Oh my God. You fucking Peacock.

(28:20):
I'm like, oh, that's not true. It's.
Not true, it's more like a walnut.
You're such a performative male bro it's crazy.
Yeah, yeah 'cause I know most performative males wear Speedo.
We saw at the climbing gym, the new climbing gym.
So how many guys were in Speedos?
I forgot to mention as well, these were speedos I've owned
since I was 12 years old, so they were really small as well.

(28:43):
Oh, no, yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, well, one of our mates in
front of his crush got dacked. Jocks and shorts.
Yeah, yeah, that was pretty bad.That was pretty bad in in
primary school. More than dacked he got.
Assaulted, basically, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You could have pressed crutches she could have brushed out.
Yeah, it was the teacher. Yeah, the teacher DAC.

(29:04):
Though that was the gym teacher.Oh my God, yeah, that's pretty
bad. I think I've embarrassed myself
in front of a crush, 'cause I don't have crushes.
I've, I don't know, I was just like victims.
I don't have crushes, I just have victims.
Oh. Yeah, that's an alpha man.
Victims yet to be, yeah. I don't have crushes like

(29:27):
victims. I call.
I don't have crushes, I have possessions and and those that
aren't in my possession are justyet to be yet to be in my
possession. Oh, that's bad.
The one that got away, that's. Terrible next segment Wizards
flaming take. This is a segment where we give
some hot takes about things thatyou know the general public

(29:49):
might not agree with. My hot take is I hate Mitch.
Well, that's not that hard. Everyone loves me.
You've read those comments. Well, it's not that hot everyone
actually. So, so you're actually wrong.
That's that's actually like a totally normal take to have
apparently, which is really sad.I'll start.
I'll start number one, I don't think you should ever in any

(30:11):
circumstance compare a book to the movie slash TV show remake.
It's two different mediums. It's completely two different
mediums. Would you compare listening to a
song on the radio with listeningto it at a concert?
Maybe not, not probably not. Maybe not the greatest example,
but would you compare? You know what I mean?

(30:32):
OK, I see what you're saying. I just.
There's just two different meetings.
Would you compare reading the news to watching the news on
YouTube? Well, it's interesting because
it's not, you know, a lot of thetime, terrible.
Comparison. I'm doing terrible from that
Both both don't help my argumentat all.
There, there are. Most of the time the argument
is, yeah, well, you know the book, You gotta read the book.

(30:53):
The book's better than the movie.
More detail, more story development.
The fact you can go inside a character's mind is something
you can't just do in a movie medium without it.
Yeah, break the wall. So why compare it?
What's the point of comparing it?
But there there is something to be said for, you know,
adaptations being done well. I mean, The Fight Club is a

(31:13):
better movie than a book. Yeah, there you go.
But no one talks about that and even the books being better in
the movie. But even the the author has even
said, yeah, no, it's definitely like better than the.
I think there's some things thatthey did better in the movie,
the Harry Potter movies, than they did in the books.
Yeah, I'm glad we're not not watching Hermione and the whole
goblin stuff in the movies. Thank God.
I'm glad Peeves isn't in the movies.

(31:34):
Yeah, I'm glad that when, just before spoilers, Sirius Black
dies, he says Nice one, James, to Harry.
That's. That was.
He doesn't do that in the book. And that was improv.
Yeah, that was improv. And it's like, heartbreaking,
you know what I mean? Like, I'm glad, you know, I'm
just, it's just so like this, you know, everyone's like, all
the books are way better in the movies.
And it's like, I don't think they're just different.

(31:56):
Yeah, they're just different. And I'm a bit of a movie lover,
you know what I mean? But my mates is OK.
Here's another example. One of my mates is reading One
Piece and then I showed him the latest episodes of One Piece and
he's like, fuck, that hits hard.And I'm like, yeah, it's not
gonna hit like that when you're reading it and looking at a
picture. Yeah, when Luffy just fucking
one hits someone in the face, the music changes.
As well What's what's your take exactly?

(32:17):
You just can't. Don't compare him ever.
I don't compare the manga to to the anime show ever.
I don't. I don't think you should ever do
it. I don't think you should ever do
it because it's two different mediums.
I just think it's a place. I'm not going to compare radio
to fucking movies. Yeah, but if you're like a
really big fan, sometimes it's worth comparing and discussing.
And oh, if you like this, I liked how they did better in the
book with this, or I liked how they did better in the movie.

(32:39):
Yeah, I think, I think it. I think just saying that the
books are better than the moviesis like a blanket statement.
I just think it's not fair to movies or books.
Or is that just a crux that movies can lean on to say, you
know? We're not going to be as good as
that. Oh, we're.
Just never going to be. Interested in the?
Book. Yeah, Why don't you try and be
better than the book then? I just think, I don't think it's

(33:00):
ever going to happen. Yeah, I just think, I just think
they just need to stop just having a fight.
Club. Yeah, no, I just, I mean like, I
just don't think it's yeah. I just don't think it's like
worth comparing them in any way.It's just complete different
mediums. Yeah, that's true.
That is true. You know, it's like, it's so
pointless. One's one's a movie, 1's a book.
Yeah, and they just, they conveyideas very differently.

(33:20):
And yeah, it's as good. As someone else, someone else
has read the book book and like,oh, I'm going to make a movie
out of this and it's their interpretation of the book they
just read. So true.
If I read the book and then madea movie out, it's going to be
completely different. So you're just like the fun
police, I guess, no. I'm just saying there's no
point. I'm saying just don't, just
don't be like moves way better than the books.
Cross your arms. That's that's my argument.
It's like, have you, you know, what fucking arguments are

(33:41):
there? Let's get into some depth.
Why do you think that you know? So you do want to compare them.
Disgust. Not even like not even compare
them. I think it's necessarily compare
them. I think it's just like have a
discussion around them other than just being like, why would
I watch them? Like, yeah, I think the whole
spare of it comes from Dad just being like, moves are way better
than the book. Oh, books are way better than
the movies. And then he hasn't read either

(34:01):
of them or watched all of them. And I'm.
Like, what are you fucking doing?
This is where this is coming from.
I get that. Yeah, that's fair.
That's. Fair.
I just think it's a yeah. Yeah, or do you want to hear my
flaming hot take? No, OK, I go on.
You get really hated about it. All right, here's here's my
first hot take. If you serve coffee at your
restaurant or your cafe or whatever, Yep, I think that you

(34:24):
should get intermittently testedby like an auditor.
And if you don't get a high enough grade on your coffee, you
shouldn't be able to serve it anymore.
That's interesting. Or they should at least have
rankings so you know it's a fucking D grade coffee as
opposed to an A grade coffee. Love that I'm going to apply
some other stuff to it and I think it's I think it'll match
perfectly OK. One of my mates was a bartender

(34:44):
and before he could work every at the start of every shift if
he wanted to free pour alcohol, which is quicker than pouring
into the little. I think it's got a jigger
pouring into the little jigger and then pouring it into the
into the mix. Yeah, that's what like the the
people who can't free pour do. Yeah, he has to free pour 5 mil,
10 mil, 15 mil perfectly. And before every night he has to

(35:06):
do it perfectly every night. So it's like a technique and
there's a feel to it. I think if you're gonna make
coffees in a coffee shop, you have to make a perfect coffee of
a latte cappuccino before every shift.
Yeah, the guy comes in and drinks it.
OK, you can make coffees or. Or at least once a month.
At least I got things like. That and everyone needs to do
it, yeah, not just one fucking guy at the restaurant.

(35:27):
And then you should be able to then have a grade at the
restaurant and know what kind ofcoffee you're going to get.
Yeah, because there are too manyplaces here in Melbourne, but
not even Melbourne, just around the world that do these fucking
worst coffee. And it should be an
international standard grading system.
I. Don't think that's a Flamino
attack, I think. I think you've hit onto
something special. There, I don't know.

(35:48):
I think people should look into that.
Because I'm not paying fucking 8bucks for a coffee and it's dog
shed. Yeah, exactly right.
I mean, the amount of times I'vegotten a coffee even from
there's like a place near here and the coffee's so mid and the
milk for some reason has like little fucking chunks in it,
like soy milk, even though it's regular milk.
It's like what's going on UN posture?
What's going on here, mate? There needs to be an industry

(36:10):
standard of coffee. And yeah, that's just my
opinion. All right, my next take.
Yeah, Yeah. You know what?
Some CEOs aren't going to like me for this take.
I apologise. I know it's a big market for the
Wizard's town, Although CEOs arelistening.
That is true, yeah. Are you sure you want to say
this? Have you run this past PR before
before saying this one? I think 9 to fives shouldn't

(36:31):
exist and you should be able to choose your starting and ending
hours depending on your work life balance.
OK, OK. I think if you want to start at
six and work till three, you should be able to do that 5 till
2 or whatever it is. And I just think it would make
traffic a lot better. Not everyone's rushing in the
morning. People wouldn't be late for
work. And also I think like as.

(36:51):
Long as you do your 8 hours a day.
As long as you do your 8 hours aday, or you could even take it a
bit further, you should work as long as you think you need to
get the job done. And then it's up to the managers
to actually manage your stuff and be like, oh, you got all
your work done in 4 hours. Yeah, you can go home and like,
oh, I got all my work done todayis all right.
Now you need to stay for another4 and fucking look at Twitter
all day until you have to clock off.
Yeah, you know, there's some companies, supermarkets, where a

(37:15):
lot of my work gets done a lot soon.
And they're like, Oh no, you cando this facing stuff for another
two hours because you have to behere for this long.
And it's like, no, I don't need to be here for that long.
See, because I'm ACEO myself, you know, I'm thinking more
about shareholder value, OK? I'm thinking more about how I
have bought the entire building.So I actually own the office

(37:35):
space. So I actually want people to be
in there for as long as possibleto justify it as a tax
deduction. OK, OK.
I'm sort of thinking more in theheadspace of what's good for
everyone that invests in my company and what makes me the
most money. You know, I don't really care
about the woes and the despair of the average work.
Oh, traffic's hard. 9 to 50. Figure it out mate.

(37:58):
Also, I'd like to be home to have dinner with my kids.
Oh. Yeah, well, guess what, I want
you here. Yeah, 10 minutes early.
Guess what profits are down fromlast year.
We still made a billion dollars,but they're down, so we need to
make 2 billion this. Year.
Yeah. So I actually want you to come
in 10 minutes early, Leave. Not 10 minutes before the I want
you to leave, start packing up on the dot and and I also expect

(38:22):
you to work on Christmas. Yeah, I mean, so hey, that's a
good point. Actually, because, you know, if
you're not growing, you're dying.
That's A and that. Yeah.
And that is capitalism. So yeah, you spot on.
That's the society. We so I actually think you're a
fucking idiot. Yeah.
No, that's fair. And that's why you'll never make
it in this. Shit take, shit take.
No, that's fair. All right, I've I've got I've
got another hot take here. Yeah, this one I think might

(38:43):
actually be quite a hot take. And I might play devil's
advocate for myself as well, butI think flowers extremely
overrated. I think they are the biggest
waste of money they you buy them.
OK yes they look beautiful. They smell nice.
They last a week and then they die.

(39:04):
And then you've got to buy more of them.
You know, this is, it's it's like what they do with mobile
phones where they design them tobreak after a certain amount.
Like the whole design. Yeah.
Designed to fail. Like their whole industry is,
yeah, you're going to buy them and join them for a week, and
now you're going to buy more because they're fucking dead.
And and they're expensive. And they're expensive.

(39:25):
They're not cheap. They're not cheap, flowers are
not cheap. And also, do they bring the joy
that you need for those that week?
Are you having a better time having some flowers around?
I suppose some people are like, I understand, you know, there's
the whole age. Bossom.
Bossom in incest. Well.
That's what I mean. Incest.
Incest, I said. So I got a lot on my mind.

(39:45):
I think. I think there's like a place for
flowers. I suppose it's like, you know, I
understand why like some people want them as a gift or whatever,
but yeah, like if you want your house to smell nice, incense is
better. A.
Candle just. A candle lasts longer.
I don't know, I think they're kind of a bit of a scam, like,
you know, it's like another thing that people have just been

(40:06):
been sold. On no, I agree.
I agree and. I'm not saying I don't, you
know, I will buy flowers if somebody likes flowers, but.
I'm just saying, yeah, I'd probably buy more, but just a
better person. But yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess
so. Yeah, no, it's bad.
Alright, I see how this is twisted.
No, Yeah, yeah, you're great, great person.
Not buying flowers. This is for anyone.

(40:27):
You won't buy flowers for anyone.
Yes, this is great I. Probably buy double the amount
just to make up for that. Okay, Yep, fair enough.
I'd just like to apply any listeners that you know were
offended by that. I'd just like to offer a free
bouquet of. Flowers.
To anybody, to anyone who needs that, yeah, I get it, special
days, special occasions, but people that are like, you need

(40:47):
to buy me flowers all the time. I'm like mate, that's a fucking
waste of money. Why am I getting a subscription
service to something that fucking dies every?
Week, I agree. Yeah.
They're like $50. Yeah, no, I agree.
It's ridiculous. I agree.
Flowers are flowers are a waste of time, money.
Just get them some chocolates. Chocolate flowers.
That's not bad. What's your next take?
There are only two scenarios where not wearing shoes is

(41:12):
acceptable in public. OK, Yeah.
Beach and pool. OK, OK, now that I'm thinking
about maybe sauna. Nah, shoes on in the.
Sauna, sauna, sauna. Every other time you should be
wearing socks and shoes or if it's like really hot and you're
like, I'm not going to wear socks.

(41:32):
I think Crocs you need need to be mandatory.
I don't want I don't want thongsin flip flops.
Yeah, you don't want anything like serious.
Open toes. I don't want to see toes, yeah.
And it's always the people that have the most fucked.
Up toes that are wearing open toes weirdly confident when
walking around their thongs with.
Like the craziest. Like hook, nail.
It's like black legit. I just think, I just think it's

(41:55):
never OK. I don't want your feet out.
I'm very like anti feet. I've always been that way.
You, you rarely see me barefoot when we're living together.
When was I ever barefoot, my man?
You know, speak for yourself. Speak for yourself, man.
But yeah, I just think, I just think you need like people who
like, like, yeah, I'm going to get on the plane and have their
thongs and take their thongs offand oh, do that shoes off.

(42:17):
It's so fun. I'm in full of grains of you.
I think feet should be sealed away.
Locked away. Absolutely.
You know, it's it's not right. Yeah, they should be.
There should be a public rule. And we're from Australia too,
where it's very like, barefoot walking around, Who cares?
Beach life, I'm like, no, dude, socks and shoes on.
Yeah. And then if I get Crocs.

(42:38):
If you haven't got socks. Yeah, because they, you know, I
don't know, it's just something that you just shouldn't, you
shouldn't be seeing. No, you shouldn't be seeing it
exactly. Even in the comfort of your own
home. Yeah, you should be wearing at
least socks. I love wearing.
I don't know why people don't socks and then my Crocs aren't
probably the my favorite thing to do at the end of the day.
Yeah, comfy ass. It's very anti Australian of you

(42:58):
because it's a massive thing here to not wear shoes at all.
It's mental. People go especially in on the
Gold Coast. Yeah, people like go into the
shopping centre, no shoes on walking around.
No, they're shopping just barefoot and then you look at
the sole of their feet. Black, black, go on.
You're like, dude, dead foot. Yeah.
What does what does their showerlook like every night when they

(43:19):
they have a shower must just be like a pool of.
Dirt I just come with their feetand also like just stink just
put your shoes on put your shoeson, lock them away yeah anyway
I. I I agree with that.
I think that's like a reasonabletake.
Yeah, well, that's all the time we have on the Wizards Tower.
If you'd like to reach the Wizards, you can send her now to
the Wizards Tower [e-mail] you can also follow us on

(43:43):
Instagram and TikTok, whatever the hell that is.
Anyway, don't forget to grab your hat, grab your star, and
we'll see you on the next episode of the Wizards Tower.