July 28, 2025 • 10 mins
“Yes” feels positive, open, and full of possibility. But every time you say it, you’ve swiped a card—whether you realize it or not. The bill shows up later in the form of stress, late nights, or missed opportunities.
In this episode of The Workplace Chameleon, Dr. Celina Peerman explores why every yes costs you something—and how to make sure the trade is worth it. From hidden opportunity costs to the “ten-minute trap” that turns into hours lost, Dr. Celina shows how leaders and teams can protect what matters most by saying yes with intention.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Workplace Chameleon.
This is Dr Selina.
This is where we explore how toadapt, align and lead through
continuous change without losingyourself in the process.
We think we're aligned, but ourdefinitions are not.
(00:28):
This episode ties into my book39 Squirrels, where in one of
those squirrels, we examine thesame word in different worlds.
Girls, we examine the same wordin different worlds.
Let's take a look at that anduse that to inspire this time
(00:52):
together.
Today I want to talk about asneaky kind of misalignment, Not
the kind where you havedifferent goals, the kind where
you think you're talking aboutthe same thing and then realize
you're not.
We've all been there, I suspect.
You say to a team member thisis urgent and you mean let's get
(01:23):
this done by Friday, and theyhear drop everything and do this
now.
Or you say we need this to behigh quality.
You're thinking meet clientexpectations, and they're
thinking perfection with zeroroom for error.
Now, those definitions may havebeen different than what you
thought I might say, becauseother examples would include
(01:44):
this is urgent and you do meandrop everything and do this now
and they think, hmm, friday'sgood.
Or you say this needs to behigh quality and you're thinking
like no errors and they're likehmm, good enough.
Same words, completelydifferent worlds, completely
(02:08):
different worlds.
Shared language isn't alwaysshared meaning.
We throw around words at worklike urgent done, quality,
success.
I think about those words likesuitcases.
Everyone's packing them withtheir own definitions,
experiences and assumptions.
(02:30):
Here's the trap when we hear afamiliar word, that's a shortcut
(02:50):
to confusion, rework andsometimes frustration.
It's not that people aren'tlistening, it's that they're
listening through their own lens.
(03:13):
In my family growing up,scrabble was an Olympic sport.
We played Scrabble fiercelybetween our generations and it
wasn't a matter of the biggestword, although we loved using
all of our letters in one turn.
It was about the strategy ofhow we used the word.
(03:35):
It was about the strategy ofhow we used the word.
However, it wasn't aboutdefinitions.
We would challenge each otheron spelling.
Did you spell that correctly?
Can it be spelled that way oris that really a real word?
(04:01):
But we all had a commondictionary.
The idea was you had to proveit.
It was in the shared dictionaryand the dictionary always
stayed with the Scrabble board.
You couldn't bring your owndictionary.
There was one and it had to bein there and it had to be
spelled correctly as based onthat source of authority.
Now, at work, that shows updifferently because noting, we
(04:23):
hear it through our own lens.
There may or may not be onedictionary, which means we've
got to clarify and recognize thecost of assumed meaning.
And recognize the cost ofassumed meaning Because when we
skip clarifying, we pay for itlater.
We miss deadlines becauseurgency meant different things.
(04:51):
We get overbuilt projectsbecause the quality wasn't
scoped.
The same way, we get tensionbetween departments because each
group thought they were hittingthe target.
They just weren't hitting thesame one.
And here's the kicker Peoplerarely speak up when they think
(05:11):
they understand.
Let me just say that one moretime.
For effect, people rarely speakup when they think they
understand.
Consider the opposite If Idon't understand something, I'm
going to speak up and noteverybody does, but we're more
likely to.
(05:31):
But if I think I understand,why would I actually check?
They don't know there's a gapuntil the gap becomes a problem.
So what do we do next?
Closing that gap is thepriority, and it's actually
(05:52):
pretty simple, but it's notautomatic.
It takes intention.
Here are my recommendations.
Step one name the keywords whenyou assign a project or set a
goal, pay attention to the wordsthat could mean different
(06:13):
things to different people.
You might say Selena, thatsounds so basic, yep, but as we
just established, when peoplethink they know what it means,
they're not going to dig indeeper.
Name the key words.
Be clear on their definition.
(06:34):
Step two ask for their version.
What does urgent mean to youfor this project?
How would you define done orthe expectations here?
Find out.
That gets us back to alignment,because when I know you and I
(06:56):
know I know and, by the way, wehave the same definitions or
scope we do better.
So that's step three build ashared definition.
It doesn't have to becomplicated, just enough detail
so everyone's picture matches.
One of my favorite things to doin a meeting is the following
(07:23):
I'll say let's define whatsuccess on this project looks
like before we start.
That 90 seconds can save hourslater.
As a leader whether you're apeople leader, a project leader,
(07:44):
a technical leader, anexpertise leader however, you're
using your influence.
This is for you.
We need to lead the languageshift.
As a leader, you can normalizethis check-in.
Make it part of your team'srhythm.
Encourage people to ask fordefinitions without making it
(08:07):
feel like a challenge or acriticism.
Praise the person who says,just to be sure we're on the
same page.
What does done mean on thisproject?
That's not slowing the teamdown, that's speeding up
alignment.
And remember this isn't justtop down.
(08:29):
You can, and I believe youshould, clarify with your peers,
clarify up, clarify across.
Alignment flows in everydirection.
Alignment flows in everydirection.
So let's try these at our nextmeeting.
(08:54):
Number one what word or phrasedo we use?
Often that could mean differentthings to different people.
Number two how can we agree ona shared meaning before we start
the work?
Three what's a recent examplewhere a shared definition would
(09:16):
have saved us some time?
Some time?
My hope is you have a takeaway.
Words are powerful, but onlywhen we're using them the same
way.
(09:36):
The same word, different worldsis a recipe for progress.
So here's your challenge thisweek Catch one of those suitcase
words before it leaves thestation, open it up, look inside
and make sure everyone haspacked the same meaning.
(09:57):
You'll be better for it, yourteam will be better for it and
you'll be better for it, yourteam will be better for it and
you'll make an even betterimpact for whatever it is you do
.
Thank you for once again takinga chance on me and listening to
this episode of the WorkplaceChameleon.
If this episode helped you seeyour team's language in a new
(10:21):
way, share it and see whatconversations it sparks.
Lead with intention, protectyour priorities.
Smash some mental healthstigmas today and keep learning
something new.
We'll be back again soon.
Welcome to the Workplace Chameleon.
This is Dr Selina.
This is where we explore how toadapt, align and lead through
continuous change without losingyourself in the process.
We think we're aligned, but ourdefinitions are not.
(00:28):
This episode ties into my book39 Squirrels, where in one of
those squirrels, we examine thesame word in different worlds.
Girls, we examine the same wordin different worlds.
Let's take a look at that anduse that to inspire this time
(00:52):
together.
Today I want to talk about asneaky kind of misalignment, Not
the kind where you havedifferent goals, the kind where
you think you're talking aboutthe same thing and then realize
you're not.
We've all been there, I suspect.
You say to a team member thisis urgent and you mean let's get
(01:23):
this done by Friday, and theyhear drop everything and do this
now.
Or you say we need this to behigh quality.
You're thinking meet clientexpectations, and they're
thinking perfection with zeroroom for error.
Now, those definitions may havebeen different than what you
thought I might say, becauseother examples would include
(01:44):
this is urgent and you do meandrop everything and do this now
and they think, hmm, friday'sgood.
Or you say this needs to behigh quality and you're thinking
like no errors and they're likehmm, good enough.
Same words, completelydifferent worlds, completely
(02:08):
different worlds.
Shared language isn't alwaysshared meaning.
We throw around words at worklike urgent done, quality,
success.
I think about those words likesuitcases.
Everyone's packing them withtheir own definitions,
experiences and assumptions.
(02:30):
Here's the trap when we hear afamiliar word, that's a shortcut
(02:50):
to confusion, rework andsometimes frustration.
It's not that people aren'tlistening, it's that they're
listening through their own lens.
(03:13):
In my family growing up,scrabble was an Olympic sport.
We played Scrabble fiercelybetween our generations and it
wasn't a matter of the biggestword, although we loved using
all of our letters in one turn.
It was about the strategy ofhow we used the word.
(03:35):
It was about the strategy ofhow we used the word.
However, it wasn't aboutdefinitions.
We would challenge each otheron spelling.
Did you spell that correctly?
Can it be spelled that way oris that really a real word?
(04:01):
But we all had a commondictionary.
The idea was you had to proveit.
It was in the shared dictionaryand the dictionary always
stayed with the Scrabble board.
You couldn't bring your owndictionary.
There was one and it had to bein there and it had to be
spelled correctly as based onthat source of authority.
Now, at work, that shows updifferently because noting, we
(04:23):
hear it through our own lens.
There may or may not be onedictionary, which means we've
got to clarify and recognize thecost of assumed meaning.
And recognize the cost ofassumed meaning Because when we
skip clarifying, we pay for itlater.
We miss deadlines becauseurgency meant different things.
(04:51):
We get overbuilt projectsbecause the quality wasn't
scoped.
The same way, we get tensionbetween departments because each
group thought they were hittingthe target.
They just weren't hitting thesame one.
And here's the kicker Peoplerarely speak up when they think
(05:11):
they understand.
Let me just say that one moretime.
For effect, people rarely speakup when they think they
understand.
Consider the opposite If Idon't understand something, I'm
going to speak up and noteverybody does, but we're more
likely to.
(05:31):
But if I think I understand,why would I actually check?
They don't know there's a gapuntil the gap becomes a problem.
So what do we do next?
Closing that gap is thepriority, and it's actually
(05:52):
pretty simple, but it's notautomatic.
It takes intention.
Here are my recommendations.
Step one name the keywords whenyou assign a project or set a
goal, pay attention to the wordsthat could mean different
(06:13):
things to different people.
You might say Selena, thatsounds so basic, yep, but as we
just established, when peoplethink they know what it means,
they're not going to dig indeeper.
Name the key words.
Be clear on their definition.
(06:34):
Step two ask for their version.
What does urgent mean to youfor this project?
How would you define done orthe expectations here?
Find out.
That gets us back to alignment,because when I know you and I
(06:56):
know I know and, by the way, wehave the same definitions or
scope we do better.
So that's step three build ashared definition.
It doesn't have to becomplicated, just enough detail
so everyone's picture matches.
One of my favorite things to doin a meeting is the following
(07:23):
I'll say let's define whatsuccess on this project looks
like before we start.
That 90 seconds can save hourslater.
As a leader whether you're apeople leader, a project leader,
(07:44):
a technical leader, anexpertise leader however, you're
using your influence.
This is for you.
We need to lead the languageshift.
As a leader, you can normalizethis check-in.
Make it part of your team'srhythm.
Encourage people to ask fordefinitions without making it
(08:07):
feel like a challenge or acriticism.
Praise the person who says,just to be sure we're on the
same page.
What does done mean on thisproject?
That's not slowing the teamdown, that's speeding up
alignment.
And remember this isn't justtop down.
(08:29):
You can, and I believe youshould, clarify with your peers,
clarify up, clarify across.
Alignment flows in everydirection.
Alignment flows in everydirection.
So let's try these at our nextmeeting.
(08:54):
Number one what word or phrasedo we use?
Often that could mean differentthings to different people.
Number two how can we agree ona shared meaning before we start
the work?
Three what's a recent examplewhere a shared definition would
(09:16):
have saved us some time?
Some time?
My hope is you have a takeaway.
Words are powerful, but onlywhen we're using them the same
way.
(09:36):
The same word, different worldsis a recipe for progress.
So here's your challenge thisweek Catch one of those suitcase
words before it leaves thestation, open it up, look inside
and make sure everyone haspacked the same meaning.
(09:57):
You'll be better for it, yourteam will be better for it and
you'll be better for it, yourteam will be better for it and
you'll make an even betterimpact for whatever it is you do
.
Thank you for once again takinga chance on me and listening to
this episode of the WorkplaceChameleon.
If this episode helped you seeyour team's language in a new
(10:21):
way, share it and see whatconversations it sparks.
Lead with intention, protectyour priorities.
Smash some mental healthstigmas today and keep learning
something new.
We'll be back again soon.
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