SummerSlam '92

Alright, you've been having a pretty killer summer. In an exchange with your mom, you watched (and secretly enjoyed) "A League of Their Own." In this bargain, you got to go see "Batman Returns." Your dad said no to "Lethal Weapon 3," but felt bad so he secretly took you to see "Encino Man" because Pauly Shore is so funny!!! In the lobby of the movie theater, you blasted through $10 (oh no, your popcorn money!) of quarters playing Street Fighter II. You and your friends can't stop doing that stupid grunt Tim Allen does on "Home Improvement." The calendar shows the school year catching up on you so as one last summer blast, your parents order SummerSlam. It's special because it's from England this year. The Macho Man is fighting the Ultimate Warrior with Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect lurking and Bret Hart must square-off against his brother-in-law, the British Bulldog with Diane Hart split between the two. Little did you know you were about to witness a Rembrandt-level wrestling match be painted before your very eyes between those two men. It must be good if Bobby Heenan isn't even acting the jerk! Plus, The Legion of Doom and their puppet Rocco is there! Sure, Rocco seems stupid, even for 1990's WWF but, the LOD ARE SO COOL! The Undertaker is so cool and spooky and new! But where is Hulk Hogan???