November 3, 2023 • 45 mins
On today's episode we welcome, Dr. Sherry Jester wife, mom, pediatrician who made the choice to stay at home to raise her children. Driven by curiousity and a deep connection to the human spirit...Sherry's story unfolds into a beautiful narrative of how love can profoundly impact one's life. Sherry dedicates her time to spreading light, peace and love within our community. Join us for a beautiful conversation about the power for all of us to make a positive impact within our own lives and beyond...always in love.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good afternoon and welcome to everybody.
The podcast which sharesstories that highlight people in
life, that make the world aninteresting place, which
ultimately ties us all togetherin unique and wonderful ways.
And who am I, you might ask.
I would be the headwrappedsocialite Weith mom,
(00:23):
micro-influencer in the fashionand etiquette world, but on this
podcast I will be introducingyou to some people who I've had
the opportunity to meet along myjourney, who have helped enrich
me in my life in beautiful waysand who I hope will do the same
in years.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
And I went to meet Harry.
It was in the same town and Iknocked on the door and I had on
jeans and a white ox for ashirt and he opened the door.
You know what he was wearing.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
In my head, I know exactly what he was wearing
Jeans and a white ox for a shirt.
Yes, it was meant to be.
It was meant to be so.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Then we went out to eat.
I mean, we went out and got icecream at this place in downtown
Ann Arbor and sat on a bench orsomething you know, on the
street just chatting, and then Iwent home and then we started
dating and the rest is history.
The rest is history.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Good afternoon and welcome to today's episode where
I have the privilege ofintroducing you to someone I've
known for over 20 years, drSherry Jester.
When we first moved toRochester, I met her and her
beautiful family because ourhusbands are colleagues.
Sher is a trained pediatricianwho made the choice to stay home
(01:47):
with her children.
She is a humanitarian and anadvocate of hope for refugees
within our community.
With boundless generosity, shededicates her time and her
talent to spread light, peaceand love.
Join me as I chat with myfriend, dr Sherry Jester, whom I
(02:10):
call Sher.
Welcome to today's episode.
Thank you, trina, you'rewelcome.
Can you tell the listeners alittle bit about who you are?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I am the youngest of six children, but I'd like to
clarify that I share thatposition with my twin sister.
So, although I'm the youngest,I don't fit the youngest profile
, others might argue.
So I have two brothers andthree sisters, all older than me
.
When I was a child, we moved alot because my dad worked for a
(02:42):
refrigerated warehouse companyand he would get promoted each
time he would move.
But then we ended up inMichigan when I was really young
, until I finished first grade,and then we moved a couple more
places and we ended up back inMichigan when I was 12.
So I consider myself aMichigander, though I wasn't
(03:02):
born there, and I'm a lover ofthe Great Lakes because I'm from
the Michigan area.
I went to college and then I wasworking for a while in research
and I wasn't sure I wanted todo that.
In fact, I was sure I didn'twant to do that.
Then, when I was in college, Idecided it wasn't a good time
for me to take the MCAT, and soI thought well, I'll work in
(03:23):
research for a while and see.
And then I did, and I hatedresearch.
I worked in one lab for aboutnine months and it was horrible.
I was the only person in hislab.
Any time something didn't workout, it was my fault and so it
was not good.
But that's where I met Harry.
He used to come use my pH meter.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Okay, so can we digress for a little bit?
So tell me how you and Harryended up meeting.
So I worked in this lab.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
We were in this old building at the University of
Michigan where it was alllaboratories.
It had been converted in, allthe rooms were laboratories and
there was like one or two orthree laboratories on each floor
and it was like three floors.
I would be in my lab, you know,because I was the only one that
worked there and he was a workstudy student in a different lab
(04:17):
because I graduated fromcollege a year before.
He did Okay and he would cometo my lab to use the pH meter
and he told me that his pH meterwas broken, which in retrospect
I learned it was not.
And then we used to go out tolunch with other people from the
(04:37):
lab his lab and we used to justwalk out and go to Subway and
that was when Subway was new Way, way long time ago, and yeah,
so that's how we met and I gotmy master's degree in education
and I was going to be a highschool chemistry teacher and I
was all set to do that.
I just didn't ever getcertified because instead I
(05:00):
started medical school.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So I did student teach chemistry.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Can I ask you though, what inspired you to become a
pediatrician?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
I always wanted to be a doctor.
When I was about 12.
Actually, in high school, whenyou have to go interview some
money, I went and interviewed aNICU doctor and my mom thought
that would be great if I was aNICU doctor, but that's not what
I had to tell you.
So by then I was in my late 20sand I knew that I wanted to
(05:31):
have my children more than twoyears apart, because I wanted
them to be a little moreself-sufficient before a new
baby appeared.
That was just from observing mysiblings and their children and
I decided to have a baby duringmedical school and we had a
baby right away and we wereplanning on my mother helping
(05:52):
with the baby.
And then, as soon as I gotpregnant she got diagnosed with
a brain tumor and seven monthslater she died and three weeks
later I had my first baby.
So that was pretty stressfuland that was my first year of
medical school.
And then he was in the NICU fora week and he came home with me
(06:13):
and Harry and Harry's motherstayed and helped with the baby
for a couple of weeks and then Iwent back to school on Thursday
after he was born.
On Saturday I did my secondyear of medical school over two
years, because at that time Iwas married and my husband was
starting as a residency.
My mother just died and I justhad a baby, so they allowed me
(06:37):
to split my second year into twoyears.
So it took me five years tograduate from medical school.
But that put us both on the sametimeline.
So he finished his residencyand I finished medical school
around the same time and then weended up in Virginia at two
different programs.
That's a really long, sordidstory but I was in Richmond in
(06:57):
the inner city and he was inCharlottesville and we lived in
between and I had the longercommute and I was on call before
residency hours were restrictedso I would be on call every
fourth night and my ER shiftswould be 12 hours and I did the
ER and it was pretty hecticbecause he was in a fellowship
(07:20):
program and he was on call.
I think he did it like a weekat a time when he was in
fellowship and then that was areally rough three years and I
did not want to have anotherbaby in that time.
And then we moved to Atlantaand I took maternity leave for
six months after I finished myresidency program.
(07:43):
I called him maternity leave.
He was already six years oldseven years old actually.
And what was really funny wasthat I had interviewed for a job
in April and I had turned itdown because I didn't want to
commute and it was outside ofthe city and we lived in the
city and they found me byfinding my husband and then I
(08:08):
interviewed with them and I tooka job which was part time and I
would like go to full time.
When somebody went on vacationor something like that, it ends
up I worked like 75% time overthree years.
And so I did that commute, whichwas the opposite of the most
traffic, but it could beharrowing at times.
(08:30):
So I worked three years as ageneral pediatrician and I loved
it.
I worked in the best practice Icould ever imagine
no-transcript, everybody gotalong the doctors, the nurses,
the staff, everybody.
There was no backbiting oranything.
It was just a wonderfulexperience and I would have
(08:52):
stayed there.
But my husband wasn't happywith his job and so he was
looking for a job, and in themeantime we were trying to have
our second child and I couldn'tkeep praying it, and so I ended
up going through infertilitytreatment, which was another
harrowing experience, as anybodywho's been through infertility
(09:16):
treatment can tell you.
So I got pregnant.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
How did you decide to be a stay-at-home mom?
When did that shift happen?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
So we moved to Atlanta in January of 2002, and
I was pregnant with Audrey, whowas born in March Another funny
story about that but we movedhere and we moved into an
apartment because our house whenwe had got the contract on our
house it was a spec house and itwasn't done yet.
It wasn't supposed to be doneuntil April and she was due on
(09:48):
March 12th and so that wassupposed to work out.
So I didn't want to work when Ifirst moved here because I had
had like four days of maturityleave when I had Kenny and then
I had had six months off when hewas seven years old and so I
was going to take six months offfor my maternity leave.
(10:09):
And I did take six months offand after six months I started
looking for a job.
And we live on the north sideof town and the only job I could
find was in Albert Lee.
It was an hour and a halfcommute and it would be call
every fifth day and I'd have tolive in Albert Lee when I was on
call and at that time Harry wason call 50% of the time and
(10:31):
that just wasn't tenable.
I had a 10 and a half year oldand a newborn, I was just like
that's just not going to work,and so I did not take that job.
And then about a year later,olmsted and Mayo were both
hiring, but they both wantedfull time and Olmsted would not
even interview me.
Mayo interviewed me but thenwhen I said I wanted to be part
(10:54):
time, they weren't interested inthe process to get approval for
hire, so they weren'tinterested in me.
And so now she was 18 monthsold and then he would have been
like 12-ish and he was startingto play some more travel soccer
and things like that.
And Harry was still on callevery other week at that time
(11:17):
and I just he wanted to playtravel soccer and travel hockey
and I didn't want to work fulltime because I had just burned
out on that when I was aresident because of all the
child care disasters, and so Ididn't want to do that.
But I didn't need to work forfinancial reasons.
(11:38):
If I needed to work, it wouldhave been in, you know, academic
reasons like challenge my mind,kind of thing.
So I decided not to go back,but I kept up my credentials, my
board certification and mylicensure for many, many years
with the intent that I could goback, and after a while I felt
too rusty to go back, you know,remembering how to dose a moxa,
(12:02):
so that's a stretch there, andso I just kind of fell into it.
It wasn't like a consciousdecision, I mean it is right but
it's conscious decision not tolook for a job.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Do you ever look back and wish that you were
practicing Sometimes?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
less so now, because now I'm, like you know, old
enough to retire early.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Old enough to be my sister.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I'm old enough to retire early.
So yeah, I mean yes, but I, youknow I have been very busy.
You know, stay at home mom.
You hardly ever at home.
You're not at home, and thething I wish more people would
recognize is that stay at homemoms are a huge support in the
(12:58):
community.
We do a lot of things thatworking parents don't do or
can't do or don't have the timeto do Correct, and I think
that's rarely acknowledged.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I would say say it again for those in the back here
.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Who couldn't hear you ?
I mean, I've had volunteerpositions, five at a time like
that.
We're long lasting, yearslasting, yeah.
So yeah, different things.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I agree.
It's like I think stay at homemoms.
A lot of times, you know, youask someone, they're like oh,
I'm just.
Yeah, stay at home mom.
No, you're not just right, we'redoing it right you know and,
like you said, not only are youa huge part of the community,
but you're a huge part ofmanaging your home.
You know with and without, forsure, without that, you know the
(13:49):
wheels with my law, but I thinkeverybody has their calling.
And to be a stay at home mom,it's a privilege, a hundred
percent, because not everybodycan.
I look at my kids now and theones who you know are old enough
the 16 year old Maybe not somuch, but you know the 25, you
(14:09):
know 22 and and the 19 year old.
Thank you, mom, for stayinghome with us all those years.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
My son said that when he was in middle school.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Wow Zion, get on that , get on the program please.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
But I had been working Until he was ten years
old Ten, a little more than ten.
So he knew, yeah.
Yeah, although I worked parttime Right for those three years
when he was seven to ten.
But I was able to do thingslike go to the school and do
things with the soccer team.
But when we moved here and hewas in middle school I don't
(14:44):
remember if it was sixth gradeor seventh grade, but he
actually thanked me for stayinghome.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I'm like who does that right?
That's like one of thosemoments where you just hold in
your heart right, right, mychild can recognize Right,
because he's seen it.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
He saw it when I was on call every fourth day.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Saw the other side of it, yeah how did your
experience as a pediatricianInfluence how you raised your
children well?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I remember one time my kids are fully vaccinated for
everything you can possibly bevaccinated for, because I'm a
pediatrician but one time whenAudrey was a baby and I had gone
with Kenny and his class orsomething to a twins game,
mm-hmm and I came home and herbreathing was really terrible
and it sounded like she wasWhooping, but it didn't sound
(15:34):
like group and it really soundedlike it was more like a whoop.
And I I woke up Harry was likemidnight when I got back because
it was a twins game and I saidI'm I'm really worried about
Audrey.
I think she might have whoopingcough and and he's like she's
fully vaccinated.
But if, if you're afraid, justtake her to the ER.
(15:54):
And and so I did.
And she didn't have whoopingcough, who knew?
But he always deferred anymedical Question to me, but I
did a lot of, you know, lookingin their ears or if they had a
fever.
I was less paranoid mom BecauseI never took him to the doctor
(16:16):
unless I thought they needed tosee a doctor I'm a pediatrician
but fortunately none of themwere very sick after we.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I, but can you tell us about your work as an
advocate for refugees within ourcommunity, and Then what
inspired you to get involved inthe midst of everything else?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Well, I was really busy being a volunteer in many
ways at the kids school.
I was a PTA president for awhile and then I was on the
board for many, many years and Iwas a volunteer with the
breastfeeding coalition and Ivolunteered with the Suzuki
organization.
Anyway, I had all thesevolunteer roles soccer, hockey,
(17:01):
and I also was a volunteer withfamily promise, which was IHN at
the time and what exactly isthat?
That's they provide shelter forhomeless families, churches
within the community, and I wasthe coordinator at my church for
like three years, so a lot ofthose things were kind of
dwindling down.
And I was at church and PondLou from IMA a, which is the
(17:23):
intercultural mutual assistanceAssociation, because what it
stands for here in Rochester shegave a presentation at our
church and my husband's likeelbow at me saying you would
like that, you would like that.
And so then I went met with herand I met with her in like
October or November and thiswould have been five or six
years ago and I sat with her forlike two hours and I talked
(17:44):
about my background and and shesaid I had this great family to
match you up with, because themother's pregnant and she's got
three other kids and one of themhas special needs and you would
just be great.
And so I did.
I met up with her after thebaby was born in January, and so
at that time the baby was likea month old and she wanted help
(18:07):
because the birth certificatehad the wrong middle name and
and also the wrong gender, whichshe hadn't even noticed.
So I held her a lot withbureaucracy.
I held her get the kidsenrolled in a different school.
I was like the forearms person.
I saw that there was such aneed for someone that comes to
this country basically withnothing, especially not knowing
(18:31):
the ropes, how our culture andsociety works.
So I just that really touchedme, that that people just are
thrown in and Don't have anyidea how things work around here
.
And so I am.
I was helping her a lot andthen she moved to Livington.
(18:51):
So I still help her, but veryremotely and not as much, and I
see her every few months or talkto her once a month or so.
But Her oldest now hasgraduated from high school and
is in college and then one ofshe sent back to Kenya to Learn
the Quran and he's been overthere for more than a year.
(19:16):
So anyway, I got really involvedwith her family and, like she
considers me family, and so thatwas, she moved away and I
wasn't doing that anymore andagain some of my other things
had been dwindling down andsomeone at my church Asked me if
I would coordinate a group forCatholic charities, because
(19:36):
Catholic charities was doingthis program where they were
matching up different groupswith evacuees from Afghanistan.
These are people who wereevacuated when everything went
to pot and so they're notexactly.
They're not refugees, they'reevacuees and they're whole
different status than a refugee.
So I coordinated the group frommy church, which I had about 15
(20:00):
other people that worked withme, and we were paired with a
family that was a mother and afather who were approximately my
age, a little bit younger, andhad one child at home who was 17
at that time and their otherchildren were all over.
One was in Iran, one was inGermany and Different places
they had like five or six kidsand they were all in different
(20:22):
countries.
One was here in the UnitedStates.
So I was involved with thatfamily and I tried to help them
find a job and they didn't speakEnglish and so I had someone
that was another evacuee thatcame and translated for us.
So I was very involved withthat family and they were doing
poorly trying to find a jobbecause their lack of English
(20:44):
skills.
So they decided to move toAlbany and they moved to Albany,
um, probably a year after theyhad been here me a little.
It was April and they had comein August, okay, and I helped
them move to Albany and nowactually they moved to Indiana
since then and I've becomefriends with the family.
That was my translator and I'mlike part of their family.
(21:06):
Now I went there to be the coachif you want to call it a coach
the mom.
They don't do that.
What we do in Afghanistan,where the father goes and is
with the mother while they'rehaving the baby, and that was
totally foreign concept to him.
He's like, well, who's gonnastay with the two-year-old?
And I said, well, I could staywith her, you know.
But they didn't think thetwo-year-old would stay with
(21:26):
anybody.
So I went and I was there whenthe baby was born and she had
emergency C-section and so theybrought me the baby.
Wow.
And then he came a couple hourslater and we traded places and
I went home with thetwo-year-old Wow, that was an
adventure because she had neverbeen with anybody else, but she
knew me so well it was noproblem, right.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So when you tell these stories, I Reminded how
you know each of us are calledto be there for for another
person, part of what our callingis.
You became a life preserver, aperson who they could look to
For guidance, for assistance andfor help.
(22:07):
I can't imagine coming toanother, other country not
knowing anything right how thesociety works, how people move
with them in that part of theworld, because every place is
different, right, right.
But you extended yourself andyou allowed them I keep going
back to you allowed these peopleto find out who they are and
(22:30):
you also allowed these people tohave dignity as they were
trying to find their way insociety.
And just how beautiful is that?
Cause not a lot of people sharewill do that.
Yeah, I know, not a lot ofpeople sharey and thank you.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
It's so fulfilling to me.
You know I get as much out ofit as a gift, I feel.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Right.
Have you always been this typeof person?
Pretty much, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Where do you think you learned it?
Speaker 2 (22:59):
My mother.
We used to, when I was, I'd say, like late grade school, we
would go to nursing homes andvisit the residence and my
sisters and I would do littlesinging skits and things like
(23:19):
that, like almost every week.
Maybe it was once a month, Idon't remember that.
Maybe my sisters remember howoften we would do that.
But you know, I have a vividmemory of doing that and I know
when I was like six I must havebeen five or six and we lived in
the Detroit suburbs and mymother had two children from the
(23:41):
inner city come and stay like aweek with us, so things like
that.
So, I probably learned it frommy mother, because I definitely
did not learn it from my father.
Mm.
Wow, my father was that likethat, right, but I was close to
my father but but he was justdifferent.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Yeah, and those things that you carry, that are
a gift from your mother that sheplanted Right In your heart and
in your siblings' hearts, andyou're still doing it, sher.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Right, well, and then I guess you could see adoption
as similar.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Would you like to share with the audience?
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Well, I have an adopted child as well.
So when Audrey was about four,you know I didn't want to have
my kids every two years.
Yeah, mm-hmm Harry approachedme about, you know, did I think
that we would want to adopt achild because it would mostly be
on me, as it has been, you know, with Audrey he was working a
(24:45):
lot and he had always wanted toexplore adoption because his dad
was adopted and he kind of justfelt he wanted to give back to
the world in that same way and Ihad always wanted three
children and I did not want togo through infertility treatment
again.
So adoption was a good.
(25:06):
So we figured out, we went to aprogram at the library about
adoption from the organizationin the Twin Cities and, like, we
went to that in October and inNovember we were going to like a
parenting.
They had a two-day like thingwhere you went one day and you
like learned about you know thedifferent places they call them
(25:28):
different programs where theyadopt from different countries,
and you learned about and weeach went to two and we each
went to two different ones sothat we could compare notes.
And then, and then, like by thewinter, we had a home study and
in May it was May we gotreferred a child and we had to
(25:50):
decide if we wanted to acceptthe child.
We had filled out this form thatdelineated the different
medical problems you wouldaccept or not accept and one of
them was prematurity and we hadsaid like we'd consider it.
It wasn't an automatic yes orautomatic no and this child was
(26:12):
premature and so you know, welooked at all of her information
and I discussed it with one ofmy colleagues from my previous
job and one thing we discussedwas you never know what you're
gonna get when you have your ownchild.
So even though this child waspremature and possible other
problems, you never know whatyou're gonna get.
(26:34):
And a lot of her problems wereNICU problems that once you
graduate from the NICU that'snot a problem anymore.
So I knew that because I'm apediatrician, so I could read
through all that and say, oh,that doesn't matter, that
doesn't matter, that doesn'tmatter.
So then a few weeks later wesaid yes and then that started
(26:58):
the process and then we wenttogether in November and she was
just shy of 15 months old.
And where did you go?
South Korea.
People are like did you adoptfrom North Korea?
It's like no, nobody can go toNorth Korea.
So she was from South Korea andsince she was an older child not
(27:18):
real old, because she was stillonly a year old they wanted us
to meet with her a few timesbefore we took her home.
So we arrived on Friday 9 pmand we just spent the weekend
being tourists.
And then on Monday, tuesday andWednesday we met with her for a
couple of hours without well,at first we had a translator and
(27:42):
a social worker they were thesame person and then the second
day we had that.
And then the third day we spentlonger with her and we also had
time with the foster mother aswell.
And on the third day we had heron our own for like two or
three hours and we took her fora walk and a stroller and things
(28:03):
like that.
And then on the fourth day itwas Thursday and we had to get
up early.
And then there was I knowthere's one other child there
might've been two other childrenthat were being sent out that
day and one of them was with anescort and they sat everybody
around the table and the fosterfamily was there the mother, the
(28:25):
father and their threedaughters and the foster family
of the other child were thereand we're all cramped in this
conference room and the fostermother's giving me formula and
like all these things that shewas supposed to give me the day
before and I'm like how am Igonna pack this stuff?
But we're all sitting aroundthis table and they did a little
prayer in Korean.
We have a copy of what theysaid and that was really cool
(28:48):
because they blessed thesechildren before they sent them
on their way, and then the wholetime the foster mother's
holding her and then we'regetting in the van to go to the
airport and the escort gets inthe van with her child and the
way back, and then Kenny andAudrey get in and Harry gets in
and it's like time for me to getin and I still don't have the
baby.
(29:09):
I was like starting to beworried because I'm trying to
get in this van but I don't havethe child yet.
But then they gave her to meand she took her first steps in
the Tokyo airport.
When we had to lay over, theguys were coming back to the US
and the flight was mostly fullof Asian people and, what was
(29:30):
really interesting, the peoplebehind us.
They wanted to hold her and Iwas like, yeah, sure, go ahead,
and they would.
And then there was a mansitting next to them across the
aisle that had like a hood andover his head and she looked
over at him and she, likestarted crying and reaching for
me.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Oh, Sherry.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Like she knew to reach for me.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
And she was like you are my mom.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah, yeah, it was amazing Cause like we're white
and everybody else on theairplane looks like everybody
she's ever seen her whole life.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
So that was really interesting and it goes to show
you love knows no color, loveknows nothing but love, right,
right so here we are.
And here we are.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Wow, and now she's a junior in high school.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Can you believe it?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
No, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
I remember when we would take the kids out, because
at that time they were probablylike I don't know three or four
and we go walking or running onthe little path and we'd park
at the little park and nowthey're juniors, right.
Where did the time go?
I don't know.
Too fast, yeah, but a beautifuljourney, yeah.
(30:45):
Now, with all of this share,how do you, my friend, balance
your time?
You're a mother, you're ahumanitarian and you also have
other commitments within ourcommunity, but what do you do to
bring balance to your life?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Man, that's a good question.
I don't know.
Well, harry and I go kayaking alot.
Last year we went 50 times Morethan 50.
We counted it up.
I don't remember it was morethan 50.
So that's a great thing becauseit's just very relaxing.
I used to run or bike now I'llwalk.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Do you listen to music?
Not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I'm funny that way.
I like silence, ah, like I canbe in the house all day and
never turn on the TV or radio oranything.
Really, yeah, yeah, I mean Iwill but, hardly ever.
And then Harry will come homeand he'll turn on something and
(31:50):
be like oh, the noise?
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, I was just gonna ask you.
I know what it is about silence, I enjoy the silence of the
silence, but what is it aboutsilence that calls you?
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Oh, I think it's cause I can be in my own head
and I'm not distracted by otherthings.
Yeah, I'm sure that's it Causeyeah.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
And your opinion though, cher.
What are some of the mostcritical issues that you find
within our communities thatrefugees or evacuees are faced
with?
Well food jobs.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
I know that my refugee family friend.
She's had a heck of a timefinding a decent job.
I mean she'll, and she was veryeager to work, but I don't know
how eager she is anymore.
And she had little kids.
And how do you do that, right?
I mean, you're working thatvery little pay job and then
(32:44):
there's childcare, but now heryoungest is in school, so that
helps.
She worked at a center for alittle while and then she got
asthma.
She was in the painting areaand she got asthma and she had
to quit and they didn't send herher last paycheck and I had to
go to bat for her.
I had to contact the laborboard.
(33:06):
I had to send the company aletter telling them I was
contacting the labor board andthat I would contact a lawyer if
necessary before she finallygot her last paycheck.
That kind of thing they gettaken advantage of because they
don't know, like she wouldn'thave known to do any of that.
But I was like that's not right.
We gotta figure this out, causeI think you know they're easily
(33:30):
taken advantage of.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
That's it.
And you think about how manypeople who don't have advocates
in their corner, who they'relike you know what.
You no longer work here.
That's it.
And you're like I know I'm owedanother one or two paychecks
and they have no recourse.
What are they gonna do?
They don't know how.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
They don't know how and I didn't know how, but I
knew how to find out how.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
What can we do as a community, like what can I do,
what can the listeners do?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I think that the number one thing that would help
refugees in our community istransportation.
They need a car, they need toknow how to drive and I know,
you know there are buses andUber.
Uber costs too much, obviously,but even the bus system is not
(34:15):
ideal.
We don't have a great publictransportation system in this
town and you know, when theylived in this apartment and they
had to go to something downtown, they would take like 45
minutes or more to get thereBecause they'd have to take one
bus and transfer to another busand wait for that bus and they
live five minutes away.
(34:36):
I think that's the hugestbarrier, you know.
And they'll share rides, likewhen my friend worked in center,
she would share rides withsomeone would drive that did
have a vehicle and did haveability to drive.
And she has both of thosethings now which we helped her
with.
And, yeah, I think that's amajor thing, because you need a
car to get a job.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
And with that it becomes education too, because
had you know you had not beenthere to help her with a job or
getting the last paycheck, orhelping her with her driver's
license and you know car,eventually you know just think
about where she would be Like.
The more things you know, thebetter off you can do for
(35:17):
yourself, and these are alltools that we definitely need
more people like you who willstep up to the plate, who will
help these people who are comingin, because they're no
different than you, are us.
They want the same things.
They want a life, liberty, thepursuit of happiness and to be
able to do it with dignity.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
What are some of the key lessons to Sherry that you
have learned about?
Peace, hope, resilience, lovethat you've learned or
encountered from the people thatyou've met?
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Well, love is universal, it doesn't matter the
color, the age, the occupation,peace.
I find it such a blessing thatthey could come here and find a
peaceful place to live.
I mean, I've heard the story ofthe family from Afghanistan at
(36:09):
the airport.
You know how did they manage?
They had a one-year-old at thattime, you know.
And then they're trying toleave the country and worried
about their lives, worried abouttheir family's lives.
Hope, hope.
They have hope, they definitelyhave hope.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah, as someone who spreads light and compassion,
how do you find the strength andthe motivation to continue your
work, even in the midst ofchallenging times?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Well, it gives me something to do that I feel is
worthwhile.
It fills my cup.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I think it's pretty cool to how you have become a
part, a page in their stories.
They become a part and a pagein your story and with that
happening, I think when youencounter, they encounter other
people, now they're able to beanother page because somebody
(37:10):
has given them that hope, thatpeace, that love, that
understanding.
And now they're able to spreadit to someone else.
I think, the sooner that all ofus recognize that and we step
outside of our comfort zone, theworld does become a much better
place.
I guess the last question thatI have for you before we
(37:32):
conclude is how can we withinour community, or even in the
world, how can we support andcontribute and I think I may
have asked this, but a differentway, but how can we be better
people, how can we support andcontribute to the causes that
you're passionate about?
Is there a way that we can help?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
I think the first thing is curiosity, because I
have a huge curiosity about theworld and what drove me, I think
, because I have never met aSomali family and all the time
I've lived in Rochester until Imet this family and there's all
kinds of Somali families and Inever felt comfortable, right,
(38:14):
because I don't know anythingabout their culture and I don't
know anybody.
But now I'll see people in theelevator and may, honestly,
you're so-and-so's friend andI'll be like yeah, yeah, that's
amazing, yeah, but I'm like alegend or something.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're the icon.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
It's a Somali community.
I mean, I know there's otherpeople, but it's not common and
it's hard to step out of yourcomfort zone.
But that's the first thing is.
And then you have to figure outwhat groups can help you do
that, and the Catholic CharitiesRefugee and Resettlement
Program is a big one.
(38:56):
And then IMAA here in Rochesteris another big one.
Usually when they come to thecountry, it's Catholic Charities
that helps them for the firstsix months and then they move
into IMAA's realm.
And IMAA has this program and Iwas one of the first that they
called a match program and theymatch a volunteer with a family.
(39:18):
Catholic Charities program withthe Afghan evacuees.
They would have a group thatsupported one family.
But I think that everybodywould be happy to give pots and
pans or kitchen towels or usefurniture, which is all great,
but that doesn't get them a job,it doesn't get them
(39:41):
transportation and in order tohave a sustainable situation,
that's what they need.
That's what they need.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Yeah, thank you Looking ahead.
What are your future goals foryourself as wife, mother,
humanitarian?
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Well, I, haven't thought a whole lot about that,
but I'm kind of like grandma nowto this family and I really
enjoy that because I've beenable to watch.
They had a health crisis withtheir two year old and I was
able to help him as theynavigated through that and she
looks forward to me whenever Icome because she thinks I'm her
(40:25):
playmate and so I really enjoyedthat.
So I don't know that I'dnecessarily become involved with
another family just because I'malready involved with two
families, plus I have my ownfamily.
But I'm always doing something.
I don't have anything right nowthat I'm thinking about but,
(40:48):
I'm always doing something.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I love it Sher.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I love it.
I wanna tell you, too, anotherthing I forgot to tell you, so
that first family that moved toIndiana, their daughter, got
married in January and theyinvited every one of our group
to help them to come, and I wasthe only one that went.
And so I went to the wedding andI spent the whole weekend with
(41:12):
the family in their home and Idid all of the traditional
things and they treated me likeone of their own.
I got the henna and I got to goget my hair and makeup done.
The bride and I got toexperience they were three
different wedding outfits, thecourse, and so that was just
(41:33):
fascinating to me, and themother had made me a dress, and
so I brought that and I worethat, and so that was cool.
And then, yeah, and then I mettheir other daughter, who lives
in Indiana and she has a babyand husband, and then I met the
(41:53):
groom and I got to know thatfamily and they invited me to
the one year old's birthday acouple of weeks ago, and I'm
like I can't go all the way toIndiana.
Oh sure, for a one year old'sbirthday, but it was so sweet.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
That is really sweet and you can see it.
You touch their lives, yeah.
You know you made a differencein their life.
They consider you their family,right right.
So technically I'm involvedwith three families oh that's so
beautiful.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
And I've met different relatives, like the
sons of the family that lives inIndiana.
Now like on FaceTime, we're in.
The mother of the people that Isee now I meet them on FaceTime
the husband of the woman thatlives in the Twin Cities all on
FaceTime, like they always wanteverybody to meet me.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Oh sure, like even just hearing you talk about, not
only when you talk about yourfamily, but when you talk about
these families that have becomeyour family.
your face just lights up and Ijust keep staring at you Like
you have this glow like aboutyou and it's the glow of love.
And there are people that youmeet in this life.
I believe immediately younotice that there is something
(43:04):
unique and different about whothey are.
And when I first met you andHarry, there's something about
you too that drew me and myhusband to your family.
And it's funny because we saythat little children can
recognize that.
My children recognize that inyour family and in this world.
(43:30):
I don't know why we meet thepeople that we do or why they
show up at the times that theydo, but I know it's not a
coincidence and I am gratefulthat we met you guys.
I am happy because you have noidea of how much of what you
(43:50):
guys do influence how Jay and Iand my children move within the
world, and for that I will beforever grateful.
You are proof that we can allbe agents of change and that our
everyday actions can rippleoutward, because you, sherry,
(44:12):
touch so many lives in such aprofound way, even in the midst
of our careers and our movementsof life.
We are all called to search, tofind, to understand what our
calling is.
What Love Note is written on ourhearts and it's been an honor
(44:35):
to know you.
It's been an honor for me tocall you a friend.
It's been an honor to sitacross the table from you today
and as you're talking, my mindconstantly flips back to the
very first time that we met andwe have laughed together, sherry
, we have cried, we have jokedtogether.
You are like a big sister andgrateful for you.
(44:59):
I am really grateful for you.
So I thank you for allowing methis opportunity to talk with
you and to glean more of who youare and, yeah, you mean a lot
to me, my friend.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
You mean a lot to me too, thank you.
Thank you, sherry, it's beenfun.
I'm glad Now I should interviewyou the same way.
I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Somebody ought to do that for your podcast One of
these days.
One of these days.
Good afternoon and welcome to everybody.
The podcast which sharesstories that highlight people in
life, that make the world aninteresting place, which
ultimately ties us all togetherin unique and wonderful ways.
And who am I, you might ask.
I would be the headwrappedsocialite Weith mom,
(00:23):
micro-influencer in the fashionand etiquette world, but on this
podcast I will be introducingyou to some people who I've had
the opportunity to meet along myjourney, who have helped enrich
me in my life in beautiful waysand who I hope will do the same
in years.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
And I went to meet Harry.
It was in the same town and Iknocked on the door and I had on
jeans and a white ox for ashirt and he opened the door.
You know what he was wearing.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
In my head, I know exactly what he was wearing
Jeans and a white ox for a shirt.
Yes, it was meant to be.
It was meant to be so.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Then we went out to eat.
I mean, we went out and got icecream at this place in downtown
Ann Arbor and sat on a bench orsomething you know, on the
street just chatting, and then Iwent home and then we started
dating and the rest is history.
The rest is history.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Good afternoon and welcome to today's episode where
I have the privilege ofintroducing you to someone I've
known for over 20 years, drSherry Jester.
When we first moved toRochester, I met her and her
beautiful family because ourhusbands are colleagues.
Sher is a trained pediatricianwho made the choice to stay home
(01:47):
with her children.
She is a humanitarian and anadvocate of hope for refugees
within our community.
With boundless generosity, shededicates her time and her
talent to spread light, peaceand love.
Join me as I chat with myfriend, dr Sherry Jester, whom I
(02:10):
call Sher.
Welcome to today's episode.
Thank you, trina, you'rewelcome.
Can you tell the listeners alittle bit about who you are?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I am the youngest of six children, but I'd like to
clarify that I share thatposition with my twin sister.
So, although I'm the youngest,I don't fit the youngest profile
, others might argue.
So I have two brothers andthree sisters, all older than me
.
When I was a child, we moved alot because my dad worked for a
(02:42):
refrigerated warehouse companyand he would get promoted each
time he would move.
But then we ended up inMichigan when I was really young
, until I finished first grade,and then we moved a couple more
places and we ended up back inMichigan when I was 12.
So I consider myself aMichigander, though I wasn't
(03:02):
born there, and I'm a lover ofthe Great Lakes because I'm from
the Michigan area.
I went to college and then I wasworking for a while in research
and I wasn't sure I wanted todo that.
In fact, I was sure I didn'twant to do that.
Then, when I was in college, Idecided it wasn't a good time
for me to take the MCAT, and soI thought well, I'll work in
(03:23):
research for a while and see.
And then I did, and I hatedresearch.
I worked in one lab for aboutnine months and it was horrible.
I was the only person in hislab.
Any time something didn't workout, it was my fault and so it
was not good.
But that's where I met Harry.
He used to come use my pH meter.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Okay, so can we digress for a little bit?
So tell me how you and Harryended up meeting.
So I worked in this lab.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
We were in this old building at the University of
Michigan where it was alllaboratories.
It had been converted in, allthe rooms were laboratories and
there was like one or two orthree laboratories on each floor
and it was like three floors.
I would be in my lab, you know,because I was the only one that
worked there and he was a workstudy student in a different lab
(04:17):
because I graduated fromcollege a year before.
He did Okay and he would cometo my lab to use the pH meter
and he told me that his pH meterwas broken, which in retrospect
I learned it was not.
And then we used to go out tolunch with other people from the
(04:37):
lab his lab and we used to justwalk out and go to Subway and
that was when Subway was new Way, way long time ago, and yeah,
so that's how we met and I gotmy master's degree in education
and I was going to be a highschool chemistry teacher and I
was all set to do that.
I just didn't ever getcertified because instead I
(05:00):
started medical school.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So I did student teach chemistry.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Can I ask you though, what inspired you to become a
pediatrician?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
I always wanted to be a doctor.
When I was about 12.
Actually, in high school, whenyou have to go interview some
money, I went and interviewed aNICU doctor and my mom thought
that would be great if I was aNICU doctor, but that's not what
I had to tell you.
So by then I was in my late 20sand I knew that I wanted to
(05:31):
have my children more than twoyears apart, because I wanted
them to be a little moreself-sufficient before a new
baby appeared.
That was just from observing mysiblings and their children and
I decided to have a baby duringmedical school and we had a
baby right away and we wereplanning on my mother helping
(05:52):
with the baby.
And then, as soon as I gotpregnant she got diagnosed with
a brain tumor and seven monthslater she died and three weeks
later I had my first baby.
So that was pretty stressfuland that was my first year of
medical school.
And then he was in the NICU fora week and he came home with me
(06:13):
and Harry and Harry's motherstayed and helped with the baby
for a couple of weeks and then Iwent back to school on Thursday
after he was born.
On Saturday I did my secondyear of medical school over two
years, because at that time Iwas married and my husband was
starting as a residency.
My mother just died and I justhad a baby, so they allowed me
(06:37):
to split my second year into twoyears.
So it took me five years tograduate from medical school.
But that put us both on the sametimeline.
So he finished his residencyand I finished medical school
around the same time and then weended up in Virginia at two
different programs.
That's a really long, sordidstory but I was in Richmond in
(06:57):
the inner city and he was inCharlottesville and we lived in
between and I had the longercommute and I was on call before
residency hours were restrictedso I would be on call every
fourth night and my ER shiftswould be 12 hours and I did the
ER and it was pretty hecticbecause he was in a fellowship
(07:20):
program and he was on call.
I think he did it like a weekat a time when he was in
fellowship and then that was areally rough three years and I
did not want to have anotherbaby in that time.
And then we moved to Atlantaand I took maternity leave for
six months after I finished myresidency program.
(07:43):
I called him maternity leave.
He was already six years oldseven years old actually.
And what was really funny wasthat I had interviewed for a job
in April and I had turned itdown because I didn't want to
commute and it was outside ofthe city and we lived in the
city and they found me byfinding my husband and then I
(08:08):
interviewed with them and I tooka job which was part time and I
would like go to full time.
When somebody went on vacationor something like that, it ends
up I worked like 75% time overthree years.
And so I did that commute, whichwas the opposite of the most
traffic, but it could beharrowing at times.
(08:30):
So I worked three years as ageneral pediatrician and I loved
it.
I worked in the best practice Icould ever imagine
no-transcript, everybody gotalong the doctors, the nurses,
the staff, everybody.
There was no backbiting oranything.
It was just a wonderfulexperience and I would have
(08:52):
stayed there.
But my husband wasn't happywith his job and so he was
looking for a job, and in themeantime we were trying to have
our second child and I couldn'tkeep praying it, and so I ended
up going through infertilitytreatment, which was another
harrowing experience, as anybodywho's been through infertility
(09:16):
treatment can tell you.
So I got pregnant.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
How did you decide to be a stay-at-home mom?
When did that shift happen?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
So we moved to Atlanta in January of 2002, and
I was pregnant with Audrey, whowas born in March Another funny
story about that but we movedhere and we moved into an
apartment because our house whenwe had got the contract on our
house it was a spec house and itwasn't done yet.
It wasn't supposed to be doneuntil April and she was due on
(09:48):
March 12th and so that wassupposed to work out.
So I didn't want to work when Ifirst moved here because I had
had like four days of maturityleave when I had Kenny and then
I had had six months off when hewas seven years old and so I
was going to take six months offfor my maternity leave.
(10:09):
And I did take six months offand after six months I started
looking for a job.
And we live on the north sideof town and the only job I could
find was in Albert Lee.
It was an hour and a halfcommute and it would be call
every fifth day and I'd have tolive in Albert Lee when I was on
call and at that time Harry wason call 50% of the time and
(10:31):
that just wasn't tenable.
I had a 10 and a half year oldand a newborn, I was just like
that's just not going to work,and so I did not take that job.
And then about a year later,olmsted and Mayo were both
hiring, but they both wantedfull time and Olmsted would not
even interview me.
Mayo interviewed me but thenwhen I said I wanted to be part
(10:54):
time, they weren't interested inthe process to get approval for
hire, so they weren'tinterested in me.
And so now she was 18 monthsold and then he would have been
like 12-ish and he was startingto play some more travel soccer
and things like that.
And Harry was still on callevery other week at that time
(11:17):
and I just he wanted to playtravel soccer and travel hockey
and I didn't want to work fulltime because I had just burned
out on that when I was aresident because of all the
child care disasters, and so Ididn't want to do that.
But I didn't need to work forfinancial reasons.
(11:38):
If I needed to work, it wouldhave been in, you know, academic
reasons like challenge my mind,kind of thing.
So I decided not to go back,but I kept up my credentials, my
board certification and mylicensure for many, many years
with the intent that I could goback, and after a while I felt
too rusty to go back, you know,remembering how to dose a moxa,
(12:02):
so that's a stretch there, andso I just kind of fell into it.
It wasn't like a consciousdecision, I mean it is right but
it's conscious decision not tolook for a job.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Do you ever look back and wish that you were
practicing Sometimes?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
less so now, because now I'm, like you know, old
enough to retire early.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Old enough to be my sister.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I'm old enough to retire early.
So yeah, I mean yes, but I, youknow I have been very busy.
You know, stay at home mom.
You hardly ever at home.
You're not at home, and thething I wish more people would
recognize is that stay at homemoms are a huge support in the
(12:58):
community.
We do a lot of things thatworking parents don't do or
can't do or don't have the timeto do Correct, and I think
that's rarely acknowledged.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I would say say it again for those in the back here
.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Who couldn't hear you ?
I mean, I've had volunteerpositions, five at a time like
that.
We're long lasting, yearslasting, yeah.
So yeah, different things.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I agree.
It's like I think stay at homemoms.
A lot of times, you know, youask someone, they're like oh,
I'm just.
Yeah, stay at home mom.
No, you're not just right, we'redoing it right you know and,
like you said, not only are youa huge part of the community,
but you're a huge part ofmanaging your home.
You know with and without, forsure, without that, you know the
(13:49):
wheels with my law, but I thinkeverybody has their calling.
And to be a stay at home mom,it's a privilege, a hundred
percent, because not everybodycan.
I look at my kids now and theones who you know are old enough
the 16 year old Maybe not somuch, but you know the 25, you
(14:09):
know 22 and and the 19 year old.
Thank you, mom, for stayinghome with us all those years.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
My son said that when he was in middle school.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Wow Zion, get on that , get on the program please.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
But I had been working Until he was ten years
old Ten, a little more than ten.
So he knew, yeah.
Yeah, although I worked parttime Right for those three years
when he was seven to ten.
But I was able to do thingslike go to the school and do
things with the soccer team.
But when we moved here and hewas in middle school I don't
(14:44):
remember if it was sixth gradeor seventh grade, but he
actually thanked me for stayinghome.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I'm like who does that right?
That's like one of thosemoments where you just hold in
your heart right, right, mychild can recognize Right,
because he's seen it.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
He saw it when I was on call every fourth day.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Saw the other side of it, yeah how did your
experience as a pediatricianInfluence how you raised your
children well?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I remember one time my kids are fully vaccinated for
everything you can possibly bevaccinated for, because I'm a
pediatrician but one time whenAudrey was a baby and I had gone
with Kenny and his class orsomething to a twins game,
mm-hmm and I came home and herbreathing was really terrible
and it sounded like she wasWhooping, but it didn't sound
(15:34):
like group and it really soundedlike it was more like a whoop.
And I I woke up Harry was likemidnight when I got back because
it was a twins game and I saidI'm I'm really worried about
Audrey.
I think she might have whoopingcough and and he's like she's
fully vaccinated.
But if, if you're afraid, justtake her to the ER.
(15:54):
And and so I did.
And she didn't have whoopingcough, who knew?
But he always deferred anymedical Question to me, but I
did a lot of, you know, lookingin their ears or if they had a
fever.
I was less paranoid mom BecauseI never took him to the doctor
(16:16):
unless I thought they needed tosee a doctor I'm a pediatrician
but fortunately none of themwere very sick after we.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I, but can you tell us about your work as an
advocate for refugees within ourcommunity, and Then what
inspired you to get involved inthe midst of everything else?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Well, I was really busy being a volunteer in many
ways at the kids school.
I was a PTA president for awhile and then I was on the
board for many, many years and Iwas a volunteer with the
breastfeeding coalition and Ivolunteered with the Suzuki
organization.
Anyway, I had all thesevolunteer roles soccer, hockey,
(17:01):
and I also was a volunteer withfamily promise, which was IHN at
the time and what exactly isthat?
That's they provide shelter forhomeless families, churches
within the community, and I wasthe coordinator at my church for
like three years, so a lot ofthose things were kind of
dwindling down.
And I was at church and PondLou from IMA a, which is the
(17:23):
intercultural mutual assistanceAssociation, because what it
stands for here in Rochester shegave a presentation at our
church and my husband's likeelbow at me saying you would
like that, you would like that.
And so then I went met with herand I met with her in like
October or November and thiswould have been five or six
years ago and I sat with her forlike two hours and I talked
(17:44):
about my background and and shesaid I had this great family to
match you up with, because themother's pregnant and she's got
three other kids and one of themhas special needs and you would
just be great.
And so I did.
I met up with her after thebaby was born in January, and so
at that time the baby was likea month old and she wanted help
(18:07):
because the birth certificatehad the wrong middle name and
and also the wrong gender, whichshe hadn't even noticed.
So I held her a lot withbureaucracy.
I held her get the kidsenrolled in a different school.
I was like the forearms person.
I saw that there was such aneed for someone that comes to
this country basically withnothing, especially not knowing
(18:31):
the ropes, how our culture andsociety works.
So I just that really touchedme, that that people just are
thrown in and Don't have anyidea how things work around here
.
And so I am.
I was helping her a lot andthen she moved to Livington.
(18:51):
So I still help her, but veryremotely and not as much, and I
see her every few months or talkto her once a month or so.
But Her oldest now hasgraduated from high school and
is in college and then one ofshe sent back to Kenya to Learn
the Quran and he's been overthere for more than a year.
(19:16):
So anyway, I got really involvedwith her family and, like she
considers me family, and so thatwas, she moved away and I
wasn't doing that anymore andagain some of my other things
had been dwindling down andsomeone at my church Asked me if
I would coordinate a group forCatholic charities, because
(19:36):
Catholic charities was doingthis program where they were
matching up different groupswith evacuees from Afghanistan.
These are people who wereevacuated when everything went
to pot and so they're notexactly.
They're not refugees, they'reevacuees and they're whole
different status than a refugee.
So I coordinated the group frommy church, which I had about 15
(20:00):
other people that worked withme, and we were paired with a
family that was a mother and afather who were approximately my
age, a little bit younger, andhad one child at home who was 17
at that time and their otherchildren were all over.
One was in Iran, one was inGermany and Different places
they had like five or six kidsand they were all in different
(20:22):
countries.
One was here in the UnitedStates.
So I was involved with thatfamily and I tried to help them
find a job and they didn't speakEnglish and so I had someone
that was another evacuee thatcame and translated for us.
So I was very involved withthat family and they were doing
poorly trying to find a jobbecause their lack of English
(20:44):
skills.
So they decided to move toAlbany and they moved to Albany,
um, probably a year after theyhad been here me a little.
It was April and they had comein August, okay, and I helped
them move to Albany and nowactually they moved to Indiana
since then and I've becomefriends with the family.
That was my translator and I'mlike part of their family.
(21:06):
Now I went there to be the coachif you want to call it a coach
the mom.
They don't do that.
What we do in Afghanistan,where the father goes and is
with the mother while they'rehaving the baby, and that was
totally foreign concept to him.
He's like, well, who's gonnastay with the two-year-old?
And I said, well, I could staywith her, you know.
But they didn't think thetwo-year-old would stay with
(21:26):
anybody.
So I went and I was there whenthe baby was born and she had
emergency C-section and so theybrought me the baby.
Wow.
And then he came a couple hourslater and we traded places and
I went home with thetwo-year-old Wow, that was an
adventure because she had neverbeen with anybody else, but she
knew me so well it was noproblem, right.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So when you tell these stories, I Reminded how
you know each of us are calledto be there for for another
person, part of what our callingis.
You became a life preserver, aperson who they could look to
For guidance, for assistance andfor help.
(22:07):
I can't imagine coming toanother, other country not
knowing anything right how thesociety works, how people move
with them in that part of theworld, because every place is
different, right, right.
But you extended yourself andyou allowed them I keep going
back to you allowed these peopleto find out who they are and
(22:30):
you also allowed these people tohave dignity as they were
trying to find their way insociety.
And just how beautiful is that?
Cause not a lot of people sharewill do that.
Yeah, I know, not a lot ofpeople sharey and thank you.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
It's so fulfilling to me.
You know I get as much out ofit as a gift, I feel.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Right.
Have you always been this typeof person?
Pretty much, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Where do you think you learned it?
Speaker 2 (22:59):
My mother.
We used to, when I was, I'd say, like late grade school, we
would go to nursing homes andvisit the residence and my
sisters and I would do littlesinging skits and things like
(23:19):
that, like almost every week.
Maybe it was once a month, Idon't remember that.
Maybe my sisters remember howoften we would do that.
But you know, I have a vividmemory of doing that and I know
when I was like six I must havebeen five or six and we lived in
the Detroit suburbs and mymother had two children from the
(23:41):
inner city come and stay like aweek with us, so things like
that.
So, I probably learned it frommy mother, because I definitely
did not learn it from my father.
Mm.
Wow, my father was that likethat, right, but I was close to
my father but but he was justdifferent.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Yeah, and those things that you carry, that are
a gift from your mother that sheplanted Right In your heart and
in your siblings' hearts, andyou're still doing it, sher.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Right, well, and then I guess you could see adoption
as similar.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Would you like to share with the audience?
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Well, I have an adopted child as well.
So when Audrey was about four,you know I didn't want to have
my kids every two years.
Yeah, mm-hmm Harry approachedme about, you know, did I think
that we would want to adopt achild because it would mostly be
on me, as it has been, you know, with Audrey he was working a
(24:45):
lot and he had always wanted toexplore adoption because his dad
was adopted and he kind of justfelt he wanted to give back to
the world in that same way and Ihad always wanted three
children and I did not want togo through infertility treatment
again.
So adoption was a good.
(25:06):
So we figured out, we went to aprogram at the library about
adoption from the organizationin the Twin Cities and, like, we
went to that in October and inNovember we were going to like a
parenting.
They had a two-day like thingwhere you went one day and you
like learned about you know thedifferent places they call them
(25:28):
different programs where theyadopt from different countries,
and you learned about and weeach went to two and we each
went to two different ones sothat we could compare notes.
And then, and then, like by thewinter, we had a home study and
in May it was May we gotreferred a child and we had to
(25:50):
decide if we wanted to acceptthe child.
We had filled out this form thatdelineated the different
medical problems you wouldaccept or not accept and one of
them was prematurity and we hadsaid like we'd consider it.
It wasn't an automatic yes orautomatic no and this child was
(26:12):
premature and so you know, welooked at all of her information
and I discussed it with one ofmy colleagues from my previous
job and one thing we discussedwas you never know what you're
gonna get when you have your ownchild.
So even though this child waspremature and possible other
problems, you never know whatyou're gonna get.
(26:34):
And a lot of her problems wereNICU problems that once you
graduate from the NICU that'snot a problem anymore.
So I knew that because I'm apediatrician, so I could read
through all that and say, oh,that doesn't matter, that
doesn't matter, that doesn'tmatter.
So then a few weeks later wesaid yes and then that started
(26:58):
the process and then we wenttogether in November and she was
just shy of 15 months old.
And where did you go?
South Korea.
People are like did you adoptfrom North Korea?
It's like no, nobody can go toNorth Korea.
So she was from South Korea andsince she was an older child not
(27:18):
real old, because she was stillonly a year old they wanted us
to meet with her a few timesbefore we took her home.
So we arrived on Friday 9 pmand we just spent the weekend
being tourists.
And then on Monday, tuesday andWednesday we met with her for a
couple of hours without well,at first we had a translator and
(27:42):
a social worker they were thesame person and then the second
day we had that.
And then the third day we spentlonger with her and we also had
time with the foster mother aswell.
And on the third day we had heron our own for like two or
three hours and we took her fora walk and a stroller and things
(28:03):
like that.
And then on the fourth day itwas Thursday and we had to get
up early.
And then there was I knowthere's one other child there
might've been two other childrenthat were being sent out that
day and one of them was with anescort and they sat everybody
around the table and the fosterfamily was there the mother, the
(28:25):
father and their threedaughters and the foster family
of the other child were thereand we're all cramped in this
conference room and the fostermother's giving me formula and
like all these things that shewas supposed to give me the day
before and I'm like how am Igonna pack this stuff?
But we're all sitting aroundthis table and they did a little
prayer in Korean.
We have a copy of what theysaid and that was really cool
(28:48):
because they blessed thesechildren before they sent them
on their way, and then the wholetime the foster mother's
holding her and then we'regetting in the van to go to the
airport and the escort gets inthe van with her child and the
way back, and then Kenny andAudrey get in and Harry gets in
and it's like time for me to getin and I still don't have the
baby.
(29:09):
I was like starting to beworried because I'm trying to
get in this van but I don't havethe child yet.
But then they gave her to meand she took her first steps in
the Tokyo airport.
When we had to lay over, theguys were coming back to the US
and the flight was mostly fullof Asian people and, what was
(29:30):
really interesting, the peoplebehind us.
They wanted to hold her and Iwas like, yeah, sure, go ahead,
and they would.
And then there was a mansitting next to them across the
aisle that had like a hood andover his head and she looked
over at him and she, likestarted crying and reaching for
me.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Oh, Sherry.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Like she knew to reach for me.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
And she was like you are my mom.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah, yeah, it was amazing Cause like we're white
and everybody else on theairplane looks like everybody
she's ever seen her whole life.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
So that was really interesting and it goes to show
you love knows no color, loveknows nothing but love, right,
right so here we are.
And here we are.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Wow, and now she's a junior in high school.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Can you believe it?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
No, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
I remember when we would take the kids out, because
at that time they were probablylike I don't know three or four
and we go walking or running onthe little path and we'd park
at the little park and nowthey're juniors, right.
Where did the time go?
I don't know.
Too fast, yeah, but a beautifuljourney, yeah.
(30:45):
Now, with all of this share,how do you, my friend, balance
your time?
You're a mother, you're ahumanitarian and you also have
other commitments within ourcommunity, but what do you do to
bring balance to your life?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Man, that's a good question.
I don't know.
Well, harry and I go kayaking alot.
Last year we went 50 times Morethan 50.
We counted it up.
I don't remember it was morethan 50.
So that's a great thing becauseit's just very relaxing.
I used to run or bike now I'llwalk.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Do you listen to music?
Not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I'm funny that way.
I like silence, ah, like I canbe in the house all day and
never turn on the TV or radio oranything.
Really, yeah, yeah, I mean Iwill but, hardly ever.
And then Harry will come homeand he'll turn on something and
(31:50):
be like oh, the noise?
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, I was just gonna ask you.
I know what it is about silence, I enjoy the silence of the
silence, but what is it aboutsilence that calls you?
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Oh, I think it's cause I can be in my own head
and I'm not distracted by otherthings.
Yeah, I'm sure that's it Causeyeah.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
And your opinion though, cher.
What are some of the mostcritical issues that you find
within our communities thatrefugees or evacuees are faced
with?
Well food jobs.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
I know that my refugee family friend.
She's had a heck of a timefinding a decent job.
I mean she'll, and she was veryeager to work, but I don't know
how eager she is anymore.
And she had little kids.
And how do you do that, right?
I mean, you're working thatvery little pay job and then
(32:44):
there's childcare, but now heryoungest is in school, so that
helps.
She worked at a center for alittle while and then she got
asthma.
She was in the painting areaand she got asthma and she had
to quit and they didn't send herher last paycheck and I had to
go to bat for her.
I had to contact the laborboard.
(33:06):
I had to send the company aletter telling them I was
contacting the labor board andthat I would contact a lawyer if
necessary before she finallygot her last paycheck.
That kind of thing they gettaken advantage of because they
don't know, like she wouldn'thave known to do any of that.
But I was like that's not right.
We gotta figure this out, causeI think you know they're easily
(33:30):
taken advantage of.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
That's it.
And you think about how manypeople who don't have advocates
in their corner, who they'relike you know what.
You no longer work here.
That's it.
And you're like I know I'm owedanother one or two paychecks
and they have no recourse.
What are they gonna do?
They don't know how.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
They don't know how and I didn't know how, but I
knew how to find out how.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
What can we do as a community, like what can I do,
what can the listeners do?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I think that the number one thing that would help
refugees in our community istransportation.
They need a car, they need toknow how to drive and I know,
you know there are buses andUber.
Uber costs too much, obviously,but even the bus system is not
(34:15):
ideal.
We don't have a great publictransportation system in this
town and you know, when theylived in this apartment and they
had to go to something downtown, they would take like 45
minutes or more to get thereBecause they'd have to take one
bus and transfer to another busand wait for that bus and they
live five minutes away.
(34:36):
I think that's the hugestbarrier, you know.
And they'll share rides, likewhen my friend worked in center,
she would share rides withsomeone would drive that did
have a vehicle and did haveability to drive.
And she has both of thosethings now which we helped her
with.
And, yeah, I think that's amajor thing, because you need a
car to get a job.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
And with that it becomes education too, because
had you know you had not beenthere to help her with a job or
getting the last paycheck, orhelping her with her driver's
license and you know car,eventually you know just think
about where she would be Like.
The more things you know, thebetter off you can do for
(35:17):
yourself, and these are alltools that we definitely need
more people like you who willstep up to the plate, who will
help these people who are comingin, because they're no
different than you, are us.
They want the same things.
They want a life, liberty, thepursuit of happiness and to be
able to do it with dignity.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
What are some of the key lessons to Sherry that you
have learned about?
Peace, hope, resilience, lovethat you've learned or
encountered from the people thatyou've met?
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Well, love is universal, it doesn't matter the
color, the age, the occupation,peace.
I find it such a blessing thatthey could come here and find a
peaceful place to live.
I mean, I've heard the story ofthe family from Afghanistan at
(36:09):
the airport.
You know how did they manage?
They had a one-year-old at thattime, you know.
And then they're trying toleave the country and worried
about their lives, worried abouttheir family's lives.
Hope, hope.
They have hope, they definitelyhave hope.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah, as someone who spreads light and compassion,
how do you find the strength andthe motivation to continue your
work, even in the midst ofchallenging times?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Well, it gives me something to do that I feel is
worthwhile.
It fills my cup.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I think it's pretty cool to how you have become a
part, a page in their stories.
They become a part and a pagein your story and with that
happening, I think when youencounter, they encounter other
people, now they're able to beanother page because somebody
(37:10):
has given them that hope, thatpeace, that love, that
understanding.
And now they're able to spreadit to someone else.
I think, the sooner that all ofus recognize that and we step
outside of our comfort zone, theworld does become a much better
place.
I guess the last question thatI have for you before we
(37:32):
conclude is how can we withinour community, or even in the
world, how can we support andcontribute and I think I may
have asked this, but a differentway, but how can we be better
people, how can we support andcontribute to the causes that
you're passionate about?
Is there a way that we can help?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
I think the first thing is curiosity, because I
have a huge curiosity about theworld and what drove me, I think
, because I have never met aSomali family and all the time
I've lived in Rochester until Imet this family and there's all
kinds of Somali families and Inever felt comfortable, right,
(38:14):
because I don't know anythingabout their culture and I don't
know anybody.
But now I'll see people in theelevator and may, honestly,
you're so-and-so's friend andI'll be like yeah, yeah, that's
amazing, yeah, but I'm like alegend or something.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're the icon.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
It's a Somali community.
I mean, I know there's otherpeople, but it's not common and
it's hard to step out of yourcomfort zone.
But that's the first thing is.
And then you have to figure outwhat groups can help you do
that, and the Catholic CharitiesRefugee and Resettlement
Program is a big one.
(38:56):
And then IMAA here in Rochesteris another big one.
Usually when they come to thecountry, it's Catholic Charities
that helps them for the firstsix months and then they move
into IMAA's realm.
And IMAA has this program and Iwas one of the first that they
called a match program and theymatch a volunteer with a family.
(39:18):
Catholic Charities program withthe Afghan evacuees.
They would have a group thatsupported one family.
But I think that everybodywould be happy to give pots and
pans or kitchen towels or usefurniture, which is all great,
but that doesn't get them a job,it doesn't get them
(39:41):
transportation and in order tohave a sustainable situation,
that's what they need.
That's what they need.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Yeah, thank you Looking ahead.
What are your future goals foryourself as wife, mother,
humanitarian?
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Well, I, haven't thought a whole lot about that,
but I'm kind of like grandma nowto this family and I really
enjoy that because I've beenable to watch.
They had a health crisis withtheir two year old and I was
able to help him as theynavigated through that and she
looks forward to me whenever Icome because she thinks I'm her
(40:25):
playmate and so I really enjoyedthat.
So I don't know that I'dnecessarily become involved with
another family just because I'malready involved with two
families, plus I have my ownfamily.
But I'm always doing something.
I don't have anything right nowthat I'm thinking about but,
(40:48):
I'm always doing something.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I love it Sher.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I love it.
I wanna tell you, too, anotherthing I forgot to tell you, so
that first family that moved toIndiana, their daughter, got
married in January and theyinvited every one of our group
to help them to come, and I wasthe only one that went.
And so I went to the wedding andI spent the whole weekend with
(41:12):
the family in their home and Idid all of the traditional
things and they treated me likeone of their own.
I got the henna and I got to goget my hair and makeup done.
The bride and I got toexperience they were three
different wedding outfits, thecourse, and so that was just
(41:33):
fascinating to me, and themother had made me a dress, and
so I brought that and I worethat, and so that was cool.
And then, yeah, and then I mettheir other daughter, who lives
in Indiana and she has a babyand husband, and then I met the
(41:53):
groom and I got to know thatfamily and they invited me to
the one year old's birthday acouple of weeks ago, and I'm
like I can't go all the way toIndiana.
Oh sure, for a one year old'sbirthday, but it was so sweet.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
That is really sweet and you can see it.
You touch their lives, yeah.
You know you made a differencein their life.
They consider you their family,right right.
So technically I'm involvedwith three families oh that's so
beautiful.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
And I've met different relatives, like the
sons of the family that lives inIndiana.
Now like on FaceTime, we're in.
The mother of the people that Isee now I meet them on FaceTime
the husband of the woman thatlives in the Twin Cities all on
FaceTime, like they always wanteverybody to meet me.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Oh sure, like even just hearing you talk about, not
only when you talk about yourfamily, but when you talk about
these families that have becomeyour family.
your face just lights up and Ijust keep staring at you Like
you have this glow like aboutyou and it's the glow of love.
And there are people that youmeet in this life.
I believe immediately younotice that there is something
(43:04):
unique and different about whothey are.
And when I first met you andHarry, there's something about
you too that drew me and myhusband to your family.
And it's funny because we saythat little children can
recognize that.
My children recognize that inyour family and in this world.
(43:30):
I don't know why we meet thepeople that we do or why they
show up at the times that theydo, but I know it's not a
coincidence and I am gratefulthat we met you guys.
I am happy because you have noidea of how much of what you
(43:50):
guys do influence how Jay and Iand my children move within the
world, and for that I will beforever grateful.
You are proof that we can allbe agents of change and that our
everyday actions can rippleoutward, because you, sherry,
(44:12):
touch so many lives in such aprofound way, even in the midst
of our careers and our movementsof life.
We are all called to search, tofind, to understand what our
calling is.
What Love Note is written on ourhearts and it's been an honor
(44:35):
to know you.
It's been an honor for me tocall you a friend.
It's been an honor to sitacross the table from you today
and as you're talking, my mindconstantly flips back to the
very first time that we met andwe have laughed together, sherry
, we have cried, we have jokedtogether.
You are like a big sister andgrateful for you.
(44:59):
I am really grateful for you.
So I thank you for allowing methis opportunity to talk with
you and to glean more of who youare and, yeah, you mean a lot
to me, my friend.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
You mean a lot to me too, thank you.
Thank you, sherry, it's beenfun.
I'm glad Now I should interviewyou the same way.
I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Somebody ought to do that for your podcast One of
these days.
One of these days.
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