August 5, 2021 • 14 mins
Michele (@michelebaci) has moved into her new house and it’s been a MESSY process. She shares an article about introverts with “rainforest minds,” which can refer to people with so many interests that they have trouble focusing on just one at a time. She tells a story about writing on her lunch break and trying to carve out a window of alone time every day.
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Theme Song (00:05):
Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent / Trauma
disguised as comedy / TherapyRoulette: Consent to Vent / If
you dont have problems, thenyoure likely repressing sh*t
and you should find a therapist/ (Whos not me)
Michele Baci (00:24):
Hello, welcome back to a new episode of Therapy
Roulette Consent to Vent!So we moved into our new house
last week. And it's been hard,like really, really, really
hard.
And so many different ways. Mypacking was not quite on time.
And when the moving companyshowed up, we were not ready.
(00:46):
And Joseph has a fish tank, a 60gallon fish tank. So we spent
most of moving daywith the hose in the fish tank,
emptying the water out andscooping the little fish into a
bucket. And then getting thatfishing out. Thank God, we paid
(01:08):
professionals because that seemslike a huge endeavor. But we
made it to the house. And it'sbeen challenging, because so
much is either not working ornot structured correctly. So
(01:29):
we've just been running into alot of obstacles, and doing
handy work. Literally every day,every free moment we have. As
soon as I'm done with work forthe day, my work from home job,
we start repairing stuff. And wedid this before moving into all
last month. So I'm extremelysleep deprived. And I'm still
(01:53):
not a handy person. So a lot oftimes I try to help Joseph out
and fix things, and then theyjust make them worse, and we
have to redo them. Ah, my lifeis so hard. I don't know about
homeownership, it seems like ascam that people tell you you
should aspire to. But I don'tsee the point quite yet. I don't
(02:17):
know, maybe this will all turnaround. It has to get better.
I'm just telling myself that. Sofor today's episode, there is no
gas, it's going to be a soloepisode. And I've just been
reflecting and thinking that Iam back into my depressive
state, I am feeling morehopeless than usual probably
(02:39):
because here we are goingthrough another big life change,
bought a house move to the housewith my partner. And it's not
all sunshine and butterfliesinstead, it's a lot of sawdust
in concrete and trash bags. Soyeah, life is hard. And I also
(03:03):
think I've been struggling tofeel like myself because I've
been spending every single dayworking nonstop. Or with my
boyfriend by my side, alsoworking nonstop. We are stressed
to the max where hostile witheach other and just like ready
to snap. So that's not good. Youknow, I need some me time I need
(03:27):
to get out and just lie in thesun with a book and, you know,
listen to the waves. I don'tknow, I just need to get out of
here. I can't be in the housefor for day after day after day.
It's driving me insane. And I'vebeen thinking a lot of it has to
do with my introvert pneusbecause I really do require
(03:50):
alone time every day, just alittle bit of alone time makes
me flourish. It makes me such amuch happier, more balanced
person. And I don't know ifJoseph has that I feel like he
has. I don't know, I don't knowif he needs alone time. He's
kind of an introvert but he alsolike, goes a mile a minute and
he loves talking and connectingwith people. So he might be just
(04:15):
as extroverted. I have no idea.
But I've told him and I knowthis about myself, I need alone
time I need to be quietsomewhere away from people for
part of the day every day.
Otherwise, I feel like I'm gonnacombust. And so I haven't had
that in like 30 to 60 days andI'm trying to get back into
(04:38):
making time for myself. I foundthis article on the web about
introverts with a rain forestsmind. And I've never heard that
term before. I think thislady who wrote the article
coined it. So I thought I wouldjust give you a summary of the
article, because maybe you'reinto introverts and extroverts
and how We flow and go about ourdays. I know I am always trying
(05:02):
to learn how to betterunderstand myself. So this is
posted on introvert deer calm.
It's called 12 signs you're anintrovert with a rain forest
mind by Paula prober. Complex,highly sensitive, intense,
(05:23):
creative, misunderstood, gifted,introverted, if you have a
reinforced mind RFM These arejust some of the adjectives that
might describe you. I developedthe metaphor of the rain forest
mind while working as a teacherwith children who are who are
identified as gifted. As I seeand found out it's difficult to
(05:44):
define giftedness. And there's agreat amount of controversy
around what it might be. Becauseof many people's discomfort with
the label. I created the RFManalogy, it was fitting these
kids were like the reinforcethey had particular traits and
needs that were often overlookedbecause they were so smart. When
(06:05):
I became a psychotherapist, Istarted working with reinforced
minded adults. I helped themunderstand their particular
characteristics and concerns sothat they learn self acceptance
and create fulfilling lives.
Maybe you too, have a reinforcedmind. In my experience, many of
those within RFM are introverts.
How will you know, here are 12science. And I'm just going to
(06:29):
read you the 12 science becauseI identify with a good chunk of
them. Maybe you will too. But Ido like this little label of
freedom forest mine, it soundslike the sound machine at the
rain forest cafe. rain fallingon plastic leaves. Science you
ever reinforced mind number one,you've been accused of being too
(06:51):
sensitive, too dramatic, tooemotional, too curious and too
smart. To you feel like too muchand not enough at the same time.
Three, you've painted yourliving room 12 times and it's
still not right. Who I feel likethat's foreshadowing for me in
the house. For you lovelearning, reading and research
(07:17):
but didn't necessarily excel inschool. Five people tell you
that you're not living up toyour great potential. You feel
pressure to be a high achiever,but sometimes end up in
perfectionist paralysis. Oh, Ifeel that one. Six, you're
overwhelmed by screeching leafblowers, strong fragrances,
(07:40):
needy friends, loud chewersbuzzing that no one else here is
bad architecture and beauty.
Seven people tell you to lightenup when you're just trying to
enlighten them. Eight, you mayhave changed majors in college
several times and graduatedafter nine years, you leave a
job just when you've mastered itbecause you need to learn
(08:02):
something new. I get like this,once I really get good at
something I get bored with it.
It's terrible. I'll redo herexplanation. This is called
multi potential reality, multipotential reality. You have lots
of interests and abilities.
People say you're a jack of alltrades, master of none. But you
(08:23):
actually do master a lot. Whenyou learn what you want, it's
time to move to the next thing.
This can be a problem if youneed to support a family. Or if
you need to look quote, unquotenormal. Number nine, you've been
socially responsible since youwere five years old. I feel it.
(08:44):
Number 10. You're an avidoverthinker and frequent
ruminator sleep and meditationare challenging. 11 you counsel
your friends, relatives,neighbors and paths and often
know what they're feeling beforeyou before they do. You have a
sense of a larger force in theuniverse that has a spiritual
strength and a loving energy aswell. You often ask yourself if
(09:10):
I'm so smart, why am I soI read this article and I jived
with it. I think this is aboutme. I am calling myself smart.
Because you know I love myselfand I value my brain. But yeah,
I'm highly sensitive. There aretimes where I just can't take
(09:32):
people like at least part of myday. I can't be around people
because it's too much. Need alittle bit of alone time at my
at my job a few years ago. Youknow I had like a kind of strict
lunch break like 30 minutesthat's it you better be back at
work by the 30 minute mark. AndI sometimes would try to write
(09:55):
or get work done. For myself,you know, like answer emails or
work on comedy, I would try todo something for myself in that
lunch break. And I know, I musthave looked like such a weirdo
to anyone who was on theoutside, because I would either
sit alone, like at the ends ofthe cafeteria and not interact
(10:16):
with my coworkers, or I wouldeven go, like steps further into
crazy territory. And I wouldclose myself into like, the
dressing room and just type onmy laptop in, in this tiny ass
dressing room where you'resupposed to change into your
uniform. But most of the time,no one would come in during,
(10:39):
like a lunch hour. So it wasquiet, and I could write a
paragraph or edit something orsend an email. And I felt weird,
cuz, you know, it was a weirdthing to do. But I also felt
like myself, you know, carvingout time to do something that
mattered to me, in the what wassupposed to be my rest part of
(11:03):
the day. And once in a while, Ithink a few times it happened.
One of my co workers would bestarting her shift, and she
would come into the dressingroom. And I'd be there with my
laptop on like, the one chairthat's there. And she'd be to
say, like, Oh, am I interruptingyou? Like, what are you doing?
But like always nice about it.
(11:24):
And I would just say, Oh, justwriting, you know, I'll leave so
you can change. I don't know. Weneed to create more space for
introverts reinforced minds,people who just don't want to
socialize all day, cuz noteveryone's wired that way. Maybe
(11:47):
I won't have to hide out indressing rooms and lonely parts
of the cafeteria in the future.
But yeah, I kind of look back onthose times, because right now
I'm working from home. So I needto do something like that. It's
way easier. Obviously, I couldjust write in the other room or
on the couch during my lunchbreak. But at my office jobs or
that TV production job, like II'd have to steal space for
(12:14):
myself, I'd have to like findit, claim it and not let people
intrude upon it. And I felt likeI was getting so much done
during those 30 minutes. So Ithink a big part of my
depression and my sense of like,existential dread is I want to
(12:38):
write I want to writeprofessionally, but I don't have
a writing routine. And maybethat routine is supposed to be a
morning routine, or an eveningroutine. Maybe it's supposed to
be a lunch routine, I don'tknow. But I'm gonna try out a
bunch of them. And I hope one ofthem sticks because that's what
(12:59):
I need the most. And then if Ihave a writing routine, I think
everything else will work out.
Thanks for listening to TherapyRoulette. You know where to find
(14:15):
me online. And I'll be back withan interview in 2 weeks. See ya!
Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent / Trauma
disguised as comedy / TherapyRoulette: Consent to Vent / If
you dont have problems, thenyoure likely repressing sh*t
and you should find a therapist/ (Whos not me)
Michele Baci (00:24):
Hello, welcome back to a new episode of Therapy
Roulette Consent to Vent!So we moved into our new house
last week. And it's been hard,like really, really, really
hard.
And so many different ways. Mypacking was not quite on time.
And when the moving companyshowed up, we were not ready.
(00:46):
And Joseph has a fish tank, a 60gallon fish tank. So we spent
most of moving daywith the hose in the fish tank,
emptying the water out andscooping the little fish into a
bucket. And then getting thatfishing out. Thank God, we paid
(01:08):
professionals because that seemslike a huge endeavor. But we
made it to the house. And it'sbeen challenging, because so
much is either not working ornot structured correctly. So
(01:29):
we've just been running into alot of obstacles, and doing
handy work. Literally every day,every free moment we have. As
soon as I'm done with work forthe day, my work from home job,
we start repairing stuff. And wedid this before moving into all
last month. So I'm extremelysleep deprived. And I'm still
(01:53):
not a handy person. So a lot oftimes I try to help Joseph out
and fix things, and then theyjust make them worse, and we
have to redo them. Ah, my lifeis so hard. I don't know about
homeownership, it seems like ascam that people tell you you
should aspire to. But I don'tsee the point quite yet. I don't
(02:17):
know, maybe this will all turnaround. It has to get better.
I'm just telling myself that. Sofor today's episode, there is no
gas, it's going to be a soloepisode. And I've just been
reflecting and thinking that Iam back into my depressive
state, I am feeling morehopeless than usual probably
(02:39):
because here we are goingthrough another big life change,
bought a house move to the housewith my partner. And it's not
all sunshine and butterfliesinstead, it's a lot of sawdust
in concrete and trash bags. Soyeah, life is hard. And I also
(03:03):
think I've been struggling tofeel like myself because I've
been spending every single dayworking nonstop. Or with my
boyfriend by my side, alsoworking nonstop. We are stressed
to the max where hostile witheach other and just like ready
to snap. So that's not good. Youknow, I need some me time I need
(03:27):
to get out and just lie in thesun with a book and, you know,
listen to the waves. I don'tknow, I just need to get out of
here. I can't be in the housefor for day after day after day.
It's driving me insane. And I'vebeen thinking a lot of it has to
do with my introvert pneusbecause I really do require
(03:50):
alone time every day, just alittle bit of alone time makes
me flourish. It makes me such amuch happier, more balanced
person. And I don't know ifJoseph has that I feel like he
has. I don't know, I don't knowif he needs alone time. He's
kind of an introvert but he alsolike, goes a mile a minute and
he loves talking and connectingwith people. So he might be just
(04:15):
as extroverted. I have no idea.
But I've told him and I knowthis about myself, I need alone
time I need to be quietsomewhere away from people for
part of the day every day.
Otherwise, I feel like I'm gonnacombust. And so I haven't had
that in like 30 to 60 days andI'm trying to get back into
(04:38):
making time for myself. I foundthis article on the web about
introverts with a rain forestsmind. And I've never heard that
term before. I think thislady who wrote the article
coined it. So I thought I wouldjust give you a summary of the
article, because maybe you'reinto introverts and extroverts
and how We flow and go about ourdays. I know I am always trying
(05:02):
to learn how to betterunderstand myself. So this is
posted on introvert deer calm.
It's called 12 signs you're anintrovert with a rain forest
mind by Paula prober. Complex,highly sensitive, intense,
(05:23):
creative, misunderstood, gifted,introverted, if you have a
reinforced mind RFM These arejust some of the adjectives that
might describe you. I developedthe metaphor of the rain forest
mind while working as a teacherwith children who are who are
identified as gifted. As I seeand found out it's difficult to
(05:44):
define giftedness. And there's agreat amount of controversy
around what it might be. Becauseof many people's discomfort with
the label. I created the RFManalogy, it was fitting these
kids were like the reinforcethey had particular traits and
needs that were often overlookedbecause they were so smart. When
(06:05):
I became a psychotherapist, Istarted working with reinforced
minded adults. I helped themunderstand their particular
characteristics and concerns sothat they learn self acceptance
and create fulfilling lives.
Maybe you too, have a reinforcedmind. In my experience, many of
those within RFM are introverts.
How will you know, here are 12science. And I'm just going to
(06:29):
read you the 12 science becauseI identify with a good chunk of
them. Maybe you will too. But Ido like this little label of
freedom forest mine, it soundslike the sound machine at the
rain forest cafe. rain fallingon plastic leaves. Science you
ever reinforced mind number one,you've been accused of being too
(06:51):
sensitive, too dramatic, tooemotional, too curious and too
smart. To you feel like too muchand not enough at the same time.
Three, you've painted yourliving room 12 times and it's
still not right. Who I feel likethat's foreshadowing for me in
the house. For you lovelearning, reading and research
(07:17):
but didn't necessarily excel inschool. Five people tell you
that you're not living up toyour great potential. You feel
pressure to be a high achiever,but sometimes end up in
perfectionist paralysis. Oh, Ifeel that one. Six, you're
overwhelmed by screeching leafblowers, strong fragrances,
(07:40):
needy friends, loud chewersbuzzing that no one else here is
bad architecture and beauty.
Seven people tell you to lightenup when you're just trying to
enlighten them. Eight, you mayhave changed majors in college
several times and graduatedafter nine years, you leave a
job just when you've mastered itbecause you need to learn
(08:02):
something new. I get like this,once I really get good at
something I get bored with it.
It's terrible. I'll redo herexplanation. This is called
multi potential reality, multipotential reality. You have lots
of interests and abilities.
People say you're a jack of alltrades, master of none. But you
(08:23):
actually do master a lot. Whenyou learn what you want, it's
time to move to the next thing.
This can be a problem if youneed to support a family. Or if
you need to look quote, unquotenormal. Number nine, you've been
socially responsible since youwere five years old. I feel it.
(08:44):
Number 10. You're an avidoverthinker and frequent
ruminator sleep and meditationare challenging. 11 you counsel
your friends, relatives,neighbors and paths and often
know what they're feeling beforeyou before they do. You have a
sense of a larger force in theuniverse that has a spiritual
strength and a loving energy aswell. You often ask yourself if
(09:10):
I'm so smart, why am I soI read this article and I jived
with it. I think this is aboutme. I am calling myself smart.
Because you know I love myselfand I value my brain. But yeah,
I'm highly sensitive. There aretimes where I just can't take
(09:32):
people like at least part of myday. I can't be around people
because it's too much. Need alittle bit of alone time at my
at my job a few years ago. Youknow I had like a kind of strict
lunch break like 30 minutesthat's it you better be back at
work by the 30 minute mark. AndI sometimes would try to write
(09:55):
or get work done. For myself,you know, like answer emails or
work on comedy, I would try todo something for myself in that
lunch break. And I know, I musthave looked like such a weirdo
to anyone who was on theoutside, because I would either
sit alone, like at the ends ofthe cafeteria and not interact
(10:16):
with my coworkers, or I wouldeven go, like steps further into
crazy territory. And I wouldclose myself into like, the
dressing room and just type onmy laptop in, in this tiny ass
dressing room where you'resupposed to change into your
uniform. But most of the time,no one would come in during,
(10:39):
like a lunch hour. So it wasquiet, and I could write a
paragraph or edit something orsend an email. And I felt weird,
cuz, you know, it was a weirdthing to do. But I also felt
like myself, you know, carvingout time to do something that
mattered to me, in the what wassupposed to be my rest part of
(11:03):
the day. And once in a while, Ithink a few times it happened.
One of my co workers would bestarting her shift, and she
would come into the dressingroom. And I'd be there with my
laptop on like, the one chairthat's there. And she'd be to
say, like, Oh, am I interruptingyou? Like, what are you doing?
But like always nice about it.
(11:24):
And I would just say, Oh, justwriting, you know, I'll leave so
you can change. I don't know. Weneed to create more space for
introverts reinforced minds,people who just don't want to
socialize all day, cuz noteveryone's wired that way. Maybe
(11:47):
I won't have to hide out indressing rooms and lonely parts
of the cafeteria in the future.
But yeah, I kind of look back onthose times, because right now
I'm working from home. So I needto do something like that. It's
way easier. Obviously, I couldjust write in the other room or
on the couch during my lunchbreak. But at my office jobs or
that TV production job, like II'd have to steal space for
(12:14):
myself, I'd have to like findit, claim it and not let people
intrude upon it. And I felt likeI was getting so much done
during those 30 minutes. So Ithink a big part of my
depression and my sense of like,existential dread is I want to
(12:38):
write I want to writeprofessionally, but I don't have
a writing routine. And maybethat routine is supposed to be a
morning routine, or an eveningroutine. Maybe it's supposed to
be a lunch routine, I don'tknow. But I'm gonna try out a
bunch of them. And I hope one ofthem sticks because that's what
(12:59):
I need the most. And then if Ihave a writing routine, I think
everything else will work out.
Thanks for listening to TherapyRoulette. You know where to find
(14:15):
me online. And I'll be back withan interview in 2 weeks. See ya!
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