September 3, 2021 • 26 mins
Today’s guest is Michele’s partner, Joseph, a civil engineer and woodworker. They talk about how goddamn tired they are between DIY home improvement projects, painting rooms, learning feng shui, and living like absolute slobs. They discuss reaching a breaking point with stress levels, admit there’s too much chaos, and that they’ve been neglecting their health. They talk about Ted Lasso, Rick and Morty, and Final Space. Joseph tells us why he stopped going to EMDR therapy. They celebrate getting their own personal spaces, a book on trauma (Unspoken Legacy by Claudia Black), and Michele tells us about her return to performing live standup comedy.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Theme Song (00:05):
Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent / Trauma
disguised as comedy / TherapyRoulette: Consent to Vent / If
you dont have problems, thenyoure likely repressing sh*t
and you should find a therapist/ (Whos not me)
Michele Baci (00:19):
Welcome back to Therapy Roulette. My name is
Michele Baci. Today I am joinedby a very special guest, my
partner Joseph, who has been onthe podcast before, he has very
generously agreed to come backbecause we have moved into our
new house. We're pressed fortime. I didn't book any other
guests, and he's reallyinteresting and a good sport. So
(00:41):
I welcome back my partner,brilliant engineer and
woodworker Joseph.
Joseph (00:47):
Hello.
Michele Baci (00:49):
He's here guys.
He's really excited.
Joseph (00:51):
Yes
Michele Baci (00:52):
Joseph. How do you feel? Honestly?
Joseph (00:56):
exhausted.
Michele Baci (00:58):
I am always exhausted. How did this
exhaustion come about?
Joseph (01:02):
I'm painting the house.
Michele Baci (01:06):
That took a lot out of me. Yep. Yep. We painted
bedrooms. Three bedrooms. Onewill be in office very,
Joseph (01:17):
very good colors.
Michelle shows the mastermind.
Michele Baci (01:23):
Thank you. You helped just as much
Joseph (01:25):
Yeah, but you You seemed it with the bag. Wha
Michele Baci (01:30):
Yeah, we Fung suede the rooms I whenever I
live anywhere, I always want toFung Shui the place and put a
little bit of energy in eachcorner. And luckily you were on
board and you really drew itout.
Joseph (01:43):
Every room is gonna be functioning right now.
Michele Baci (01:46):
Which is awesome.
Because usually, I am mature andI like put duct tape on the
Joseph (01:52):
best I can. On the ground crazy.
Michele Baci (01:56):
Sometimes you got to work with a budget. Okay, and
I needed some ci. Toward thebeginning of my house. I put hot
pink duct tape at the foot of mystairs and I was in college. And
I said this is good Fung Shui.
You know what I think it was.
But now that I'm 30 and we havea house we own we can go a
little bit harder than ducttape.
Joseph (02:18):
Yeah, it's it's nice. It feels it feels good to take over
a place and make it ours.
Michele Baci (02:27):
Yeah, putting paint up on the walls really
made it feel like our house notjust a house we found and
purchased.
Joseph (02:34):
Then doing the floors was nice too. It looks so much
better.
Michele Baci (02:39):
You very graciously took care of the
floors while I was out of town.
Joseph (02:43):
Yeah, it was a lot of work. It's probably why my back
hurts.
Michele Baci (02:46):
I would guess.
Every time I spoke to you whileI was in New York you were like
I pulled up another room ofcarpet. This many nails stuck in
my hands.
Joseph (02:55):
The carpet was was the easy part. The hard part was the
the vinyl with the stuck onlinoleum underneath the vinyl
stuff came up really easy butstuck on stuff I had to go
around with like a razor bladeand statue. Yeah, like a
sharpened spatula that Isharpened so that it was like a
(03:17):
razor blade sharpness and wasscraping it. Yeah, miserable.
Michele Baci (03:22):
I really got it. I
Joseph (03:23):
missed these that took like, five days.
Michele Baci (03:27):
was nice for you to get it all done for your
family to come help out too.
Otherwise, I think you would bea broken person
Joseph (03:34):
I wouldn't have been able to do without Emily that's
for sure. Yeah, Emily Am I putin a lot of hard work? Yeah, it
was nice. felt good to hang outagain like that. Do something
fun or not fun to do with your
Michele Baci (03:49):
sister. Hmm.
That's awesome. Yeah. But nowwe're exhausted,
Joseph (03:55):
exhausted. But we're finally actually moving into the
rooms. Slowly.
Michele Baci (04:02):
Hopefully, instead of having all of our shit in one
room.
Joseph (04:05):
Yeah, we're currently in the den of our house, which has
all of our belongings in it atonce. Which is fun.
Michele Baci (04:14):
Yeah, and it's it's a little too much for one
room. I
Joseph (04:16):
gotta say pure chaos, which I thrive at. And but this
is too much.
Michele Baci (04:22):
What really strikes me as interesting about
you is you set up the fish tankright away.
Joseph (04:30):
I mean, you had you because well the fish die and
the plants die if you don't setup the fish tank. So
Michele Baci (04:37):
it's just funny.
All we've set up in the house isour kitchen kind of like just so
we can cook. We've set up ourdesks so we can work from home.
Our bed is on the floor and thenthe fish tank is like thriving
behind all of our boxes.
Joseph (04:51):
I wouldn't call it thriving. Its existing. It's put
together Yeah, I lost a lot ofplants in the move. So hopefully
They come back.
Michele Baci (05:01):
And we did lose one fish recipe.
Joseph (05:03):
suicide by fish.
Michele Baci (05:06):
The fish jumped out of the bucket we put them
in, you know, I don't blame himbecause he had been through a
lot.
Joseph (05:11):
Well, his partner previously committed suicide.
Michele Baci (05:17):
We lost another fish.
Joseph (05:19):
There were three of them originally. And that was the
that was. I don't know. I thinkthe first one just died. The
second one jumped.
Michele Baci (05:31):
It could have been homicide
Joseph (05:33):
by it was the biggest tank one of their fellow
Michele Baci (05:37):
fish.
Joseph (05:38):
Oh, using there's some conspiracy in the fish tank
where there was a murder?
Michele Baci (05:43):
I don't know. I'm not in their worlds.
Joseph (05:44):
I don't know what's going on. Could have been a fish
murder.
Michele Baci (05:47):
I don't watch. I don't watch the fish.
Joseph (05:49):
This is good material for you. You should just write
this down.
Michele Baci (05:53):
Next step on kcls acla. Fish murder hot topics.
Joseph (06:00):
When are we going to get the new fish to replace
deficient diet?
Michele Baci (06:04):
soon?
Joseph (06:04):
Can I get Angel fish?
Michele Baci (06:07):
If you take care of them? Yes, check. Yes, we
still have to go over budget.
We'll do that tomorrow. Yes. Funrelationship stuff going over
the budget. Anyway, we're hereto talk about how we're feeling.
Like with our health in general,and with our mental health,
you're exhausted, I'm exhausted.
(06:29):
I think I'm going to take moresteps to really schedule my time
a bit better so I can accomplishmore and rest more because I
seem to like get lost throughoutthe day. So I'm going to be more
proactive about scheduling outmy time.
Joseph (06:44):
That's probably a very good idea.
Michele Baci (06:47):
I'm probably going to watch less TV.
Joseph (06:49):
I'm gonna watch more TV.
Michele Baci (06:51):
You watch so much TV.
Joseph (06:53):
I need to watch more TV.
Michele Baci (06:55):
Okay, well for you. It seems to make you feel
better for me. I feel lessproductive and therefore shitty.
Joseph (07:01):
It's just like the only time my brain doesn't think so.
It's nice. Especially if it's agood show. Some shows don't even
touch it. But
Michele Baci (07:12):
you see anything good lately? You watch a lot of
content?
Joseph (07:15):
I'm not really. Okay, well, actually, Ted lasso pretty
good. Pretty good.
Michele Baci (07:26):
I hear it. I hear season two is very therapy
oriented.
Joseph (07:29):
Yeah, I think we're on the third episode.
Michele Baci (07:32):
I think Bernie brown gets a shadow.
Joseph (07:38):
I think that's two glasses. Good. Rick and Morty.
Of course, he's just said it.
Pretty good season.
Michele Baci (07:48):
The season ended.
Yeah,
Joseph (07:49):
we should say the episodes. We watched the last
one. I thought there was onemore but there wasn't.
Michele Baci (07:56):
eight episodes is a short season.
Joseph (08:00):
So hard show, right. I mean, they've really done a lot.
Yeah, I mean, it's veryoriginal.
Michele Baci (08:12):
Any show is hard to write. Oh, yeah. But
Joseph (08:14):
Rick and Morty has this like, huge fan base that's
waiting on on the edge of theirseats for every episode.
Michele Baci (08:23):
Aggressive fan base attack is
Joseph (08:25):
very aggressive.
Michele Baci (08:27):
Yeah, this season was interesting. I enjoy that.
You've brought me into Rick andMorty, and we share that
together.
Joseph (08:32):
It's a good it's a good show.
Michele Baci (08:35):
Also, little gems of therapy throughout. And
there's another show you werewatching that was animated about
mental health. In space,
Joseph (08:44):
oh, final space.
Michele Baci (08:48):
Because Claudia black was on the list of cast or
Yeah,
Joseph (08:52):
that's a weird show.
Something like
Michele Baci (08:54):
that. And Claudia
Joseph (08:56):
gets much play, but it's pretty good.
Michele Baci (08:59):
Final space. I should watch it.
Joseph (09:01):
It's a pretty good show.
I think it's three seasons orfour seasons.
Michele Baci (09:06):
After I've become a productive human, I'll
integrate that show. Yeah, but Ithink my health has been pretty
terrible and I need to getbetter at taking care of myself,
going to doctors, finding a newtherapist. We have to start
exercising more going to thatgym we joined.
Joseph (09:24):
So it's been like twice.
Unknown (09:27):
My health has been suffered. Definitely mind you.
Michele Baci (09:31):
But it makes sense because we've been moving and
had a lot of stress,
Joseph (09:35):
not stress too much. Why did you stop going to therapy? I
just it was a scheduling thing.
I was having trouble likemeeting appointments, making
appointments. And yeah, it wasjust a lot so I stops
Michele Baci (10:00):
Give us too much in your week.
Joseph (10:03):
Yeah, I just felt like every time I went to
appointment, I wasn't likeprepared for it. And since I was
like starting to do EMDR, it'skind of something you have to
once you start it, you have tobe pretty adamant about it. And
I was not able to maintain that.
It's in person therapy. So youalso have to go down there. You
(10:28):
have to physically hold on tosomething. It's a lot.
Michele Baci (10:34):
Yeah, yeah. To make the time to drive there and
mentally prepare for
Joseph (10:40):
this work in the house.
It's just almost impossible.
Michele Baci (10:45):
Yeah, the house has been like a full time job.
It's been so
Joseph (10:49):
much. Yeah, a lot of appointments.
Michele Baci (10:52):
Yeah, a lot of work to be done.
Joseph (10:56):
But the big projects are pretty much behind us. So far.
That's what we keep saying.
Yeah, no.
Michele Baci (11:07):
I think we are on an upswing, so we'll see how it
goes. Yeah. Now that we have ourown offices, a little bit
separate from each other, that'syou have your own office,
Joseph (11:18):
I have the room of tears. Well,
Michele Baci (11:23):
you're going to try it out. It's not going to be
a room of terror forever. Hemeans his desk is in the room.
That's the den where all of ourboxes
Joseph (11:31):
are Yes. And Michelle's room office is a perfectly
clean, newly painted with newfloors room.
Michele Baci (11:40):
It's minimalist and
Joseph (11:41):
mine is boxes and a bed.
A couch stacked on anothercouch. And my chair in the
corner like I live in a cave.
Michele Baci (11:54):
Slowly, we will we will take apart the den, unpack
it and you will live in lesschaos, I promise.
Joseph (12:01):
Yes. It kind of feels like I'm Jeff right now but
Michele Baci (12:07):
tell the audience who Jeff Jeff
Joseph (12:09):
Jeff was the homeless man that lives in front of our
apartments on on a cots with awith a beach umbrella and a lot
of canned goods that he wouldalways try to give to us. He had
a traffic cone dress up like aChristmas tree. Yes. And then.
And then he he got an apartment.
And all the homeless people gotmad at him because he had an
(12:32):
apartment. But he was living onthe streets still during the day
and then he would sleep in hisapartment.
Michele Baci (12:44):
Yeah, and I saw him with a clean face like
showered. He looks better dirty.
Gotta say it.
Joseph (12:49):
I mean, he's, he's he's well weathered man. I'm glad he
took a shower. It's nice that ittook a shower though. I'm sure
he hasn't take a shower in along time.
Michele Baci (13:00):
No, it's definitely better for him. I
just didn't recognize himwithout all the layers of, of
life on him. That was funnythough. I came home from New
York. And Joseph had been herefor over a week by himself. And
there were just like, a lot of
Joseph (13:17):
dishes and garbage dishes everywhere. But there was
garbage.
Michele Baci (13:23):
And you said I feel like I've been living like
a homeless person.
Joseph (13:27):
Well, cuz every night after I got off work, I
immediately just started pullingup carpet and nails because I
had to pull up all the carpet bymyself and the tack strips. And
all the staples in the carpet.
And this place is huge. I know.
I know. You've got a giant and agiant living room. All carpeted.
Michele Baci (13:51):
I'm not knocking the work you did, but I'm just
commenting the place you chooseto work with your desk and sleep
in the bed the den you had madeinto a garbage dump a little
bit,
Joseph (14:03):
not a garbage dump. I had to move everything from the
rest of the house, includingyour desk into this room. And so
I had consolidated all of ourbelongings into the bedroom. And
it was kind of chaotic when shegot back because I hadn't
finished cleaning up all theboxes and like stacking them
(14:27):
properly.
Michele Baci (14:28):
I know it was a lot of work. It's too much room.
Yeah.
Joseph (14:30):
And I did it all by myself.
Michele Baci (14:33):
With the help of Emily.
Joseph (14:34):
First thing when she comes home she says this place
is a mess. And I was like well,what did you What did you say?
Little things that you overlook?
I did not overlook any of them.
I ran out of time.
Michele Baci (14:49):
Okay. Anyway, I was just echoing back a comment
you had made about living like ahomeless person. Yes,
Joseph (14:57):
I did feel that way.
Michele Baci (15:00):
There's a kombucha here. That's like it's just
glued to your drink. And you'relike, No, I don't know, when I
took that out.
Joseph (15:09):
I like took it out. I like took it out at this point
and then yeah, it's hard isprobably four or five days old
just sitting out on the table.
Michele Baci (15:18):
That is just homeless person level.
Joseph (15:20):
I wouldn't say homeless person level.
Michele Baci (15:23):
very forgetful.
Joseph (15:25):
No, I just too, too much going on.
Michele Baci (15:29):
Yeah, too much. So are you going to go back to
therapy? Do you have any plansto
Joseph (15:36):
maybe later? Yes, later?
Yes. Later.
Michele Baci (15:41):
You said you would read a book with me that our
couples therapist recommended.
Yeah. We're gonna read thatbook, audio book or something.
We'll
Joseph (15:50):
figure that out.
Michele Baci (15:51):
Okay, unspoken legacy by Claudia black. It's
about trauma. Yeah. Sherecommended we read it. And our
couples therapist is basicallylike, you don't need me. Like,
you don't need a couplestherapist. You need this book
about trauma.
Joseph (16:07):
You're like, Well, I mean, she she kind of said that
I have a lot more therapy I needto do. And, yeah, there's a lot
of interesting. I already knewthis. I've been to work through
patches. I've been through a lotof therapy, but nothing rigorous
(16:30):
enough.
Michele Baci (16:32):
Yeah, like maybe not everything has been resolved
to
Joseph (16:38):
how could best boy most likely just have cptsd. receipt?
Yeah, that's right. Complex,complex. Post Traumatic Stress
Stress
Michele Baci (16:48):
Disorder. Yeah, the trauma book is good. I've
started the first chapter.
Joseph (16:54):
Yeah, yeah, it's probably I have trauma. It's
probably it's probably gonna belike less traumatic for you to
read, and more traumatic for meto read. Well, it's not a
content. No. That's not what I'msaying. Okay.
Michele Baci (17:09):
I was just saying, I've already started and I've
gotten some stuff out of it.
That's good. Yeah. And I think Iwill reach out to new therapists
soon I've, I finally went backto doing stand up. today. I went
to an open mic. Joseph got meout of the house. Thank God and
I must stand up. It was so niceto go back. And now coming back
(17:30):
from an open mic set. I feellike everything is possible. I
can totally be a comedian. Icould definitely go back to
therapy. I can, you know, dowhatever I want. So I think I'm
gonna go back to therapy, too.
Joseph (17:44):
So you ended up using that that joke that you told me?
Michele Baci (17:49):
Yeah, I didn't hit the best. It's a shorter joke,
but I also was doing very offthe cuff.
Joseph (17:55):
Yeah, stuff. So maybe you see it play with him more?
Yeah, I think it's a pretty goodjoke.
Michele Baci (18:01):
Thank you. Um, yeah, it was all new material.
And it was more like, just goand do it and see if you can
survive, and I did.
Joseph (18:12):
I'm glad that she didn't try and do old material.
Michele Baci (18:15):
Well, it's not like I'm rehearsing for a shower
or something. No,
Joseph (18:18):
I mean, yeah.
Michele Baci (18:20):
Why not? Just try nice to. Yeah, first show post
COVID first, Mike post COVIDfeel surreal. Slay my old life.
So any questions you have for meare should we spin the wheel?
Joseph (18:40):
Oh, yeah, I forgot about the wheel. I don't know. I don't
have any questions. I'm my brainis fried.
Michele Baci (18:47):
Okay, I'll spin the wheel for you.
Joseph (18:49):
Spin it. Give it a bunch of spins My gosh.
Michele Baci (19:01):
Describe your perfect day.
Joseph (19:03):
My perfect day.
Michele Baci (19:11):
Joseph looks like this is a really hard question.
Joseph (19:14):
I don't know. I don't know probably sleep in a little
bit. Like maybe my garage is setup in a not chaotic manner. And
I can actually do woodworking.
Yeah, tackling in the garageorganization. That's our next
big project. Doing somewoodworking and then maybe like,
(19:35):
later that day going to dinnerwith you. That'd be nice. We're
gonna go acids. Yeah. Nice. Oh,we hardly ever do. Yeah, I mean,
well, it's part of the wholething that's going on right now.
Michele Baci (19:54):
That'd be nice. So a little bit of extra sleep. A
nice garage. You could watchYeah. And then dinner with me.
Yeah. What would you want towork on in the garage? Oh, no.
Joseph (20:06):
I can't think that far ahead.
Michele Baci (20:08):
Really? That's unlike Yeah,
Joseph (20:10):
I mean, I have I have a project going on right now, but
it's, it's for somebody else, soit's not as it's still fun.
Michele Baci (20:21):
Yeah, tell us about it.
Joseph (20:22):
Uh, it's like my best friend wanted to wanted a
headboard. And it's just like,headboard. It's gonna have
tambour doors. Which are likethese sliding wood doors. Buy
Yeah, that's that's the project.
Really nice wood. Yeah, yes,mahogany. And then the tambores
(20:46):
you're gonna be timbers you'regonna make made out of a bunch
of different ones. I'm not sorrytogether for him.
Michele Baci (20:57):
Would you rather organize the garage first, or
the den? Where all of our stuffis? What? Would you rather
organize your living space inthe house or the garage for?
Joseph (21:10):
Probably the garage?
Because we have to like, getthat dumpster? Yeah, I would
really like to not have a pileof garbage on the side of the
house.
Michele Baci (21:21):
Oh, goodness. I thought that was just me who had
that wish? No. It's good toknow. on the same page.
Joseph (21:27):
I feel like we can't have a housewarming party till
that trash is gone.
Michele Baci (21:31):
For sure. I mean, it's like we don't even live
here yet. Because there's somuch trash.
Joseph (21:37):
Yeah, we piled up all the carpet. I piled up all the
carpet on the side of the house.
And it is.
Michele Baci (21:43):
I was here. It's
Joseph (21:45):
it is a full dumpster full of carpet and stuff.
Michele Baci (21:50):
We'll add it to the errands list how to get a
dumpster. And when is the besttime to get a dumpster. Now we
also painted so much and had tojump out the paint bucket like
we're renting the brush brushes.
And now our driveway and ourhouse and our lawn is a little
bit red.
Joseph (22:11):
Yeah, somebody splashed paint onto the house when
dumping.
Michele Baci (22:17):
It could have been both of us. But it's probably
Yeah,
Joseph (22:19):
but that's fine. So power washers are for. And I was
just concerned about getting inon your car and instead of just
reached our house and I said Iwould much rather you get it on
my cheap ass car than for a newhouse we just bought.
Michele Baci (22:34):
Well, we're not going to keep it as color
forever, right?
Joseph (22:37):
It doesn't matter.
Michele Baci (22:39):
Yeah, it was just funny. Because as much as we did
a good job painting, there'ssome like cleanup parts were
like we don't know how to cleanup this
Joseph (22:47):
part wasn't that we don't know how to clean up this
part as just like, in the timecrunch that we had we kind of
just left the cleaning outside.
There's such a time crunch. It'sjust a mess outside. We painted
three rooms and today.
Michele Baci (23:05):
Which is insane.
But
Joseph (23:06):
it looks never again.
Amazing.
Michele Baci (23:09):
It does. But next time we double the amount of
time and we travel well ahead oftime because we were preparing
day of
Joseph (23:20):
Well, that's how this whole entire process has felt.
Michele Baci (23:24):
Right. Well, we could take steps to fix that.
Joseph (23:27):
For the future. Maybe Yeah, we have to have a good
idea.
Michele Baci (23:31):
We have to otherwise I will be running away
screaming into the woods.
Joseph (23:36):
Okay. I'll keep that noted.
Michele Baci (23:43):
But yeah, I feel like this is a good talk.
Anything you'd like to sharewith the listeners anything
you'd like to promote? Joseph.
Joseph (23:51):
I would like to promote Michelle's comedy. It's great.
You should go out and see herrequest heard all of the
stablishment in California.
Michele Baci (24:03):
She's now doing in person events in Los Angeles.
That's me. I'm talking with herperson.
Joseph (24:08):
Yeah, that's great. Keep going.
Michele Baci (24:11):
Thank you can follow me at Michelle Bochy,
comedy on Instagram Michellewith one l or at Michelle Bochy
on Twitter. Yeah, there
Joseph (24:19):
you go. Thanks, Joe.
Follow me.
Michele Baci (24:25):
You'll just say you'll hear the stories through
me and the podcast, I
Joseph (24:28):
guess.
Michele Baci (24:30):
Well, I appreciate you. Thank you for doing this.
Joseph (24:34):
You're very welcome.
Michele Baci (24:36):
Have a great evening.
Joseph (24:38):
You say like you're leaving.
Michele Baci (24:42):
Well, the podcast is ending.
Joseph (24:44):
Okay.
Michele Baci (24:47):
I was gonna run into the woods screaming and
changing my name. Is that okay?
There
Joseph (24:51):
are no Woods here. So good luck.
Michele Baci (24:55):
Okay, well, I gotta do some googling. I'm
gonna wrap this up. Talk to youlater. Bye. Bye.
Hey, I want to thank youpersonally for listening to the
podcast. This has been TherapyRoulette, where I give you
consent to vent. I would love tokeep making episodes and putting
out this podcast into the world.
And in order to do that, peoplehave to find out about it and
(25:16):
they have to listen. So pleaseleave a review. If you have 10
seconds to spare, reviews go along way. Any app, any place on
the internet, please leave agood review. Please tell your
friends about the podcast. Youcould explain it, say it's about
an honest mental healthconversation. It's a little bit
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(25:37):
at all. And just send them anairdrop link and boom, they have
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Theme Song (25:55):
Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent / Trauma
disguised as comedy / TherapyRoulette: Consent to Vent / If
you dont have problems, thenyoure likely repressing sh*t
and you should find a therapist/ (Whos not me)
Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent / Trauma
disguised as comedy / TherapyRoulette: Consent to Vent / If
you dont have problems, thenyoure likely repressing sh*t
and you should find a therapist/ (Whos not me)
Michele Baci (00:19):
Welcome back to Therapy Roulette. My name is
Michele Baci. Today I am joinedby a very special guest, my
partner Joseph, who has been onthe podcast before, he has very
generously agreed to come backbecause we have moved into our
new house. We're pressed fortime. I didn't book any other
guests, and he's reallyinteresting and a good sport. So
(00:41):
I welcome back my partner,brilliant engineer and
woodworker Joseph.
Joseph (00:47):
Hello.
Michele Baci (00:49):
He's here guys.
He's really excited.
Joseph (00:51):
Yes
Michele Baci (00:52):
Joseph. How do you feel? Honestly?
Joseph (00:56):
exhausted.
Michele Baci (00:58):
I am always exhausted. How did this
exhaustion come about?
Joseph (01:02):
I'm painting the house.
Michele Baci (01:06):
That took a lot out of me. Yep. Yep. We painted
bedrooms. Three bedrooms. Onewill be in office very,
Joseph (01:17):
very good colors.
Michelle shows the mastermind.
Michele Baci (01:23):
Thank you. You helped just as much
Joseph (01:25):
Yeah, but you You seemed it with the bag. Wha
Michele Baci (01:30):
Yeah, we Fung suede the rooms I whenever I
live anywhere, I always want toFung Shui the place and put a
little bit of energy in eachcorner. And luckily you were on
board and you really drew itout.
Joseph (01:43):
Every room is gonna be functioning right now.
Michele Baci (01:46):
Which is awesome.
Because usually, I am mature andI like put duct tape on the
Joseph (01:52):
best I can. On the ground crazy.
Michele Baci (01:56):
Sometimes you got to work with a budget. Okay, and
I needed some ci. Toward thebeginning of my house. I put hot
pink duct tape at the foot of mystairs and I was in college. And
I said this is good Fung Shui.
You know what I think it was.
But now that I'm 30 and we havea house we own we can go a
little bit harder than ducttape.
Joseph (02:18):
Yeah, it's it's nice. It feels it feels good to take over
a place and make it ours.
Michele Baci (02:27):
Yeah, putting paint up on the walls really
made it feel like our house notjust a house we found and
purchased.
Joseph (02:34):
Then doing the floors was nice too. It looks so much
better.
Michele Baci (02:39):
You very graciously took care of the
floors while I was out of town.
Joseph (02:43):
Yeah, it was a lot of work. It's probably why my back
hurts.
Michele Baci (02:46):
I would guess.
Every time I spoke to you whileI was in New York you were like
I pulled up another room ofcarpet. This many nails stuck in
my hands.
Joseph (02:55):
The carpet was was the easy part. The hard part was the
the vinyl with the stuck onlinoleum underneath the vinyl
stuff came up really easy butstuck on stuff I had to go
around with like a razor bladeand statue. Yeah, like a
sharpened spatula that Isharpened so that it was like a
(03:17):
razor blade sharpness and wasscraping it. Yeah, miserable.
Michele Baci (03:22):
I really got it. I
Joseph (03:23):
missed these that took like, five days.
Michele Baci (03:27):
was nice for you to get it all done for your
family to come help out too.
Otherwise, I think you would bea broken person
Joseph (03:34):
I wouldn't have been able to do without Emily that's
for sure. Yeah, Emily Am I putin a lot of hard work? Yeah, it
was nice. felt good to hang outagain like that. Do something
fun or not fun to do with your
Michele Baci (03:49):
sister. Hmm.
That's awesome. Yeah. But nowwe're exhausted,
Joseph (03:55):
exhausted. But we're finally actually moving into the
rooms. Slowly.
Michele Baci (04:02):
Hopefully, instead of having all of our shit in one
room.
Joseph (04:05):
Yeah, we're currently in the den of our house, which has
all of our belongings in it atonce. Which is fun.
Michele Baci (04:14):
Yeah, and it's it's a little too much for one
room. I
Joseph (04:16):
gotta say pure chaos, which I thrive at. And but this
is too much.
Michele Baci (04:22):
What really strikes me as interesting about
you is you set up the fish tankright away.
Joseph (04:30):
I mean, you had you because well the fish die and
the plants die if you don't setup the fish tank. So
Michele Baci (04:37):
it's just funny.
All we've set up in the house isour kitchen kind of like just so
we can cook. We've set up ourdesks so we can work from home.
Our bed is on the floor and thenthe fish tank is like thriving
behind all of our boxes.
Joseph (04:51):
I wouldn't call it thriving. Its existing. It's put
together Yeah, I lost a lot ofplants in the move. So hopefully
They come back.
Michele Baci (05:01):
And we did lose one fish recipe.
Joseph (05:03):
suicide by fish.
Michele Baci (05:06):
The fish jumped out of the bucket we put them
in, you know, I don't blame himbecause he had been through a
lot.
Joseph (05:11):
Well, his partner previously committed suicide.
Michele Baci (05:17):
We lost another fish.
Joseph (05:19):
There were three of them originally. And that was the
that was. I don't know. I thinkthe first one just died. The
second one jumped.
Michele Baci (05:31):
It could have been homicide
Joseph (05:33):
by it was the biggest tank one of their fellow
Michele Baci (05:37):
fish.
Joseph (05:38):
Oh, using there's some conspiracy in the fish tank
where there was a murder?
Michele Baci (05:43):
I don't know. I'm not in their worlds.
Joseph (05:44):
I don't know what's going on. Could have been a fish
murder.
Michele Baci (05:47):
I don't watch. I don't watch the fish.
Joseph (05:49):
This is good material for you. You should just write
this down.
Michele Baci (05:53):
Next step on kcls acla. Fish murder hot topics.
Joseph (06:00):
When are we going to get the new fish to replace
deficient diet?
Michele Baci (06:04):
soon?
Joseph (06:04):
Can I get Angel fish?
Michele Baci (06:07):
If you take care of them? Yes, check. Yes, we
still have to go over budget.
We'll do that tomorrow. Yes. Funrelationship stuff going over
the budget. Anyway, we're hereto talk about how we're feeling.
Like with our health in general,and with our mental health,
you're exhausted, I'm exhausted.
(06:29):
I think I'm going to take moresteps to really schedule my time
a bit better so I can accomplishmore and rest more because I
seem to like get lost throughoutthe day. So I'm going to be more
proactive about scheduling outmy time.
Joseph (06:44):
That's probably a very good idea.
Michele Baci (06:47):
I'm probably going to watch less TV.
Joseph (06:49):
I'm gonna watch more TV.
Michele Baci (06:51):
You watch so much TV.
Joseph (06:53):
I need to watch more TV.
Michele Baci (06:55):
Okay, well for you. It seems to make you feel
better for me. I feel lessproductive and therefore shitty.
Joseph (07:01):
It's just like the only time my brain doesn't think so.
It's nice. Especially if it's agood show. Some shows don't even
touch it. But
Michele Baci (07:12):
you see anything good lately? You watch a lot of
content?
Joseph (07:15):
I'm not really. Okay, well, actually, Ted lasso pretty
good. Pretty good.
Michele Baci (07:26):
I hear it. I hear season two is very therapy
oriented.
Joseph (07:29):
Yeah, I think we're on the third episode.
Michele Baci (07:32):
I think Bernie brown gets a shadow.
Joseph (07:38):
I think that's two glasses. Good. Rick and Morty.
Of course, he's just said it.
Pretty good season.
Michele Baci (07:48):
The season ended.
Yeah,
Joseph (07:49):
we should say the episodes. We watched the last
one. I thought there was onemore but there wasn't.
Michele Baci (07:56):
eight episodes is a short season.
Joseph (08:00):
So hard show, right. I mean, they've really done a lot.
Yeah, I mean, it's veryoriginal.
Michele Baci (08:12):
Any show is hard to write. Oh, yeah. But
Joseph (08:14):
Rick and Morty has this like, huge fan base that's
waiting on on the edge of theirseats for every episode.
Michele Baci (08:23):
Aggressive fan base attack is
Joseph (08:25):
very aggressive.
Michele Baci (08:27):
Yeah, this season was interesting. I enjoy that.
You've brought me into Rick andMorty, and we share that
together.
Joseph (08:32):
It's a good it's a good show.
Michele Baci (08:35):
Also, little gems of therapy throughout. And
there's another show you werewatching that was animated about
mental health. In space,
Joseph (08:44):
oh, final space.
Michele Baci (08:48):
Because Claudia black was on the list of cast or
Yeah,
Joseph (08:52):
that's a weird show.
Something like
Michele Baci (08:54):
that. And Claudia
Joseph (08:56):
gets much play, but it's pretty good.
Michele Baci (08:59):
Final space. I should watch it.
Joseph (09:01):
It's a pretty good show.
I think it's three seasons orfour seasons.
Michele Baci (09:06):
After I've become a productive human, I'll
integrate that show. Yeah, but Ithink my health has been pretty
terrible and I need to getbetter at taking care of myself,
going to doctors, finding a newtherapist. We have to start
exercising more going to thatgym we joined.
Joseph (09:24):
So it's been like twice.
Unknown (09:27):
My health has been suffered. Definitely mind you.
Michele Baci (09:31):
But it makes sense because we've been moving and
had a lot of stress,
Joseph (09:35):
not stress too much. Why did you stop going to therapy? I
just it was a scheduling thing.
I was having trouble likemeeting appointments, making
appointments. And yeah, it wasjust a lot so I stops
Michele Baci (10:00):
Give us too much in your week.
Joseph (10:03):
Yeah, I just felt like every time I went to
appointment, I wasn't likeprepared for it. And since I was
like starting to do EMDR, it'skind of something you have to
once you start it, you have tobe pretty adamant about it. And
I was not able to maintain that.
It's in person therapy. So youalso have to go down there. You
(10:28):
have to physically hold on tosomething. It's a lot.
Michele Baci (10:34):
Yeah, yeah. To make the time to drive there and
mentally prepare for
Joseph (10:40):
this work in the house.
It's just almost impossible.
Michele Baci (10:45):
Yeah, the house has been like a full time job.
It's been so
Joseph (10:49):
much. Yeah, a lot of appointments.
Michele Baci (10:52):
Yeah, a lot of work to be done.
Joseph (10:56):
But the big projects are pretty much behind us. So far.
That's what we keep saying.
Yeah, no.
Michele Baci (11:07):
I think we are on an upswing, so we'll see how it
goes. Yeah. Now that we have ourown offices, a little bit
separate from each other, that'syou have your own office,
Joseph (11:18):
I have the room of tears. Well,
Michele Baci (11:23):
you're going to try it out. It's not going to be
a room of terror forever. Hemeans his desk is in the room.
That's the den where all of ourboxes
Joseph (11:31):
are Yes. And Michelle's room office is a perfectly
clean, newly painted with newfloors room.
Michele Baci (11:40):
It's minimalist and
Joseph (11:41):
mine is boxes and a bed.
A couch stacked on anothercouch. And my chair in the
corner like I live in a cave.
Michele Baci (11:54):
Slowly, we will we will take apart the den, unpack
it and you will live in lesschaos, I promise.
Joseph (12:01):
Yes. It kind of feels like I'm Jeff right now but
Michele Baci (12:07):
tell the audience who Jeff Jeff
Joseph (12:09):
Jeff was the homeless man that lives in front of our
apartments on on a cots with awith a beach umbrella and a lot
of canned goods that he wouldalways try to give to us. He had
a traffic cone dress up like aChristmas tree. Yes. And then.
And then he he got an apartment.
And all the homeless people gotmad at him because he had an
(12:32):
apartment. But he was living onthe streets still during the day
and then he would sleep in hisapartment.
Michele Baci (12:44):
Yeah, and I saw him with a clean face like
showered. He looks better dirty.
Gotta say it.
Joseph (12:49):
I mean, he's, he's he's well weathered man. I'm glad he
took a shower. It's nice that ittook a shower though. I'm sure
he hasn't take a shower in along time.
Michele Baci (13:00):
No, it's definitely better for him. I
just didn't recognize himwithout all the layers of, of
life on him. That was funnythough. I came home from New
York. And Joseph had been herefor over a week by himself. And
there were just like, a lot of
Joseph (13:17):
dishes and garbage dishes everywhere. But there was
garbage.
Michele Baci (13:23):
And you said I feel like I've been living like
a homeless person.
Joseph (13:27):
Well, cuz every night after I got off work, I
immediately just started pullingup carpet and nails because I
had to pull up all the carpet bymyself and the tack strips. And
all the staples in the carpet.
And this place is huge. I know.
I know. You've got a giant and agiant living room. All carpeted.
Michele Baci (13:51):
I'm not knocking the work you did, but I'm just
commenting the place you chooseto work with your desk and sleep
in the bed the den you had madeinto a garbage dump a little
bit,
Joseph (14:03):
not a garbage dump. I had to move everything from the
rest of the house, includingyour desk into this room. And so
I had consolidated all of ourbelongings into the bedroom. And
it was kind of chaotic when shegot back because I hadn't
finished cleaning up all theboxes and like stacking them
(14:27):
properly.
Michele Baci (14:28):
I know it was a lot of work. It's too much room.
Yeah.
Joseph (14:30):
And I did it all by myself.
Michele Baci (14:33):
With the help of Emily.
Joseph (14:34):
First thing when she comes home she says this place
is a mess. And I was like well,what did you What did you say?
Little things that you overlook?
I did not overlook any of them.
I ran out of time.
Michele Baci (14:49):
Okay. Anyway, I was just echoing back a comment
you had made about living like ahomeless person. Yes,
Joseph (14:57):
I did feel that way.
Michele Baci (15:00):
There's a kombucha here. That's like it's just
glued to your drink. And you'relike, No, I don't know, when I
took that out.
Joseph (15:09):
I like took it out. I like took it out at this point
and then yeah, it's hard isprobably four or five days old
just sitting out on the table.
Michele Baci (15:18):
That is just homeless person level.
Joseph (15:20):
I wouldn't say homeless person level.
Michele Baci (15:23):
very forgetful.
Joseph (15:25):
No, I just too, too much going on.
Michele Baci (15:29):
Yeah, too much. So are you going to go back to
therapy? Do you have any plansto
Joseph (15:36):
maybe later? Yes, later?
Yes. Later.
Michele Baci (15:41):
You said you would read a book with me that our
couples therapist recommended.
Yeah. We're gonna read thatbook, audio book or something.
We'll
Joseph (15:50):
figure that out.
Michele Baci (15:51):
Okay, unspoken legacy by Claudia black. It's
about trauma. Yeah. Sherecommended we read it. And our
couples therapist is basicallylike, you don't need me. Like,
you don't need a couplestherapist. You need this book
about trauma.
Joseph (16:07):
You're like, Well, I mean, she she kind of said that
I have a lot more therapy I needto do. And, yeah, there's a lot
of interesting. I already knewthis. I've been to work through
patches. I've been through a lotof therapy, but nothing rigorous
(16:30):
enough.
Michele Baci (16:32):
Yeah, like maybe not everything has been resolved
to
Joseph (16:38):
how could best boy most likely just have cptsd. receipt?
Yeah, that's right. Complex,complex. Post Traumatic Stress
Stress
Michele Baci (16:48):
Disorder. Yeah, the trauma book is good. I've
started the first chapter.
Joseph (16:54):
Yeah, yeah, it's probably I have trauma. It's
probably it's probably gonna belike less traumatic for you to
read, and more traumatic for meto read. Well, it's not a
content. No. That's not what I'msaying. Okay.
Michele Baci (17:09):
I was just saying, I've already started and I've
gotten some stuff out of it.
That's good. Yeah. And I think Iwill reach out to new therapists
soon I've, I finally went backto doing stand up. today. I went
to an open mic. Joseph got meout of the house. Thank God and
I must stand up. It was so niceto go back. And now coming back
(17:30):
from an open mic set. I feellike everything is possible. I
can totally be a comedian. Icould definitely go back to
therapy. I can, you know, dowhatever I want. So I think I'm
gonna go back to therapy, too.
Joseph (17:44):
So you ended up using that that joke that you told me?
Michele Baci (17:49):
Yeah, I didn't hit the best. It's a shorter joke,
but I also was doing very offthe cuff.
Joseph (17:55):
Yeah, stuff. So maybe you see it play with him more?
Yeah, I think it's a pretty goodjoke.
Michele Baci (18:01):
Thank you. Um, yeah, it was all new material.
And it was more like, just goand do it and see if you can
survive, and I did.
Joseph (18:12):
I'm glad that she didn't try and do old material.
Michele Baci (18:15):
Well, it's not like I'm rehearsing for a shower
or something. No,
Joseph (18:18):
I mean, yeah.
Michele Baci (18:20):
Why not? Just try nice to. Yeah, first show post
COVID first, Mike post COVIDfeel surreal. Slay my old life.
So any questions you have for meare should we spin the wheel?
Joseph (18:40):
Oh, yeah, I forgot about the wheel. I don't know. I don't
have any questions. I'm my brainis fried.
Michele Baci (18:47):
Okay, I'll spin the wheel for you.
Joseph (18:49):
Spin it. Give it a bunch of spins My gosh.
Michele Baci (19:01):
Describe your perfect day.
Joseph (19:03):
My perfect day.
Michele Baci (19:11):
Joseph looks like this is a really hard question.
Joseph (19:14):
I don't know. I don't know probably sleep in a little
bit. Like maybe my garage is setup in a not chaotic manner. And
I can actually do woodworking.
Yeah, tackling in the garageorganization. That's our next
big project. Doing somewoodworking and then maybe like,
(19:35):
later that day going to dinnerwith you. That'd be nice. We're
gonna go acids. Yeah. Nice. Oh,we hardly ever do. Yeah, I mean,
well, it's part of the wholething that's going on right now.
Michele Baci (19:54):
That'd be nice. So a little bit of extra sleep. A
nice garage. You could watchYeah. And then dinner with me.
Yeah. What would you want towork on in the garage? Oh, no.
Joseph (20:06):
I can't think that far ahead.
Michele Baci (20:08):
Really? That's unlike Yeah,
Joseph (20:10):
I mean, I have I have a project going on right now, but
it's, it's for somebody else, soit's not as it's still fun.
Michele Baci (20:21):
Yeah, tell us about it.
Joseph (20:22):
Uh, it's like my best friend wanted to wanted a
headboard. And it's just like,headboard. It's gonna have
tambour doors. Which are likethese sliding wood doors. Buy
Yeah, that's that's the project.
Really nice wood. Yeah, yes,mahogany. And then the tambores
(20:46):
you're gonna be timbers you'regonna make made out of a bunch
of different ones. I'm not sorrytogether for him.
Michele Baci (20:57):
Would you rather organize the garage first, or
the den? Where all of our stuffis? What? Would you rather
organize your living space inthe house or the garage for?
Joseph (21:10):
Probably the garage?
Because we have to like, getthat dumpster? Yeah, I would
really like to not have a pileof garbage on the side of the
house.
Michele Baci (21:21):
Oh, goodness. I thought that was just me who had
that wish? No. It's good toknow. on the same page.
Joseph (21:27):
I feel like we can't have a housewarming party till
that trash is gone.
Michele Baci (21:31):
For sure. I mean, it's like we don't even live
here yet. Because there's somuch trash.
Joseph (21:37):
Yeah, we piled up all the carpet. I piled up all the
carpet on the side of the house.
And it is.
Michele Baci (21:43):
I was here. It's
Joseph (21:45):
it is a full dumpster full of carpet and stuff.
Michele Baci (21:50):
We'll add it to the errands list how to get a
dumpster. And when is the besttime to get a dumpster. Now we
also painted so much and had tojump out the paint bucket like
we're renting the brush brushes.
And now our driveway and ourhouse and our lawn is a little
bit red.
Joseph (22:11):
Yeah, somebody splashed paint onto the house when
dumping.
Michele Baci (22:17):
It could have been both of us. But it's probably
Yeah,
Joseph (22:19):
but that's fine. So power washers are for. And I was
just concerned about getting inon your car and instead of just
reached our house and I said Iwould much rather you get it on
my cheap ass car than for a newhouse we just bought.
Michele Baci (22:34):
Well, we're not going to keep it as color
forever, right?
Joseph (22:37):
It doesn't matter.
Michele Baci (22:39):
Yeah, it was just funny. Because as much as we did
a good job painting, there'ssome like cleanup parts were
like we don't know how to cleanup this
Joseph (22:47):
part wasn't that we don't know how to clean up this
part as just like, in the timecrunch that we had we kind of
just left the cleaning outside.
There's such a time crunch. It'sjust a mess outside. We painted
three rooms and today.
Michele Baci (23:05):
Which is insane.
But
Joseph (23:06):
it looks never again.
Amazing.
Michele Baci (23:09):
It does. But next time we double the amount of
time and we travel well ahead oftime because we were preparing
day of
Joseph (23:20):
Well, that's how this whole entire process has felt.
Michele Baci (23:24):
Right. Well, we could take steps to fix that.
Joseph (23:27):
For the future. Maybe Yeah, we have to have a good
idea.
Michele Baci (23:31):
We have to otherwise I will be running away
screaming into the woods.
Joseph (23:36):
Okay. I'll keep that noted.
Michele Baci (23:43):
But yeah, I feel like this is a good talk.
Anything you'd like to sharewith the listeners anything
you'd like to promote? Joseph.
Joseph (23:51):
I would like to promote Michelle's comedy. It's great.
You should go out and see herrequest heard all of the
stablishment in California.
Michele Baci (24:03):
She's now doing in person events in Los Angeles.
That's me. I'm talking with herperson.
Joseph (24:08):
Yeah, that's great. Keep going.
Michele Baci (24:11):
Thank you can follow me at Michelle Bochy,
comedy on Instagram Michellewith one l or at Michelle Bochy
on Twitter. Yeah, there
Joseph (24:19):
you go. Thanks, Joe.
Follow me.
Michele Baci (24:25):
You'll just say you'll hear the stories through
me and the podcast, I
Joseph (24:28):
guess.
Michele Baci (24:30):
Well, I appreciate you. Thank you for doing this.
Joseph (24:34):
You're very welcome.
Michele Baci (24:36):
Have a great evening.
Joseph (24:38):
You say like you're leaving.
Michele Baci (24:42):
Well, the podcast is ending.
Joseph (24:44):
Okay.
Michele Baci (24:47):
I was gonna run into the woods screaming and
changing my name. Is that okay?
There
Joseph (24:51):
are no Woods here. So good luck.
Michele Baci (24:55):
Okay, well, I gotta do some googling. I'm
gonna wrap this up. Talk to youlater. Bye. Bye.
Hey, I want to thank youpersonally for listening to the
podcast. This has been TherapyRoulette, where I give you
consent to vent. I would love tokeep making episodes and putting
out this podcast into the world.
And in order to do that, peoplehave to find out about it and
(25:16):
they have to listen. So pleaseleave a review. If you have 10
seconds to spare, reviews go along way. Any app, any place on
the internet, please leave agood review. Please tell your
friends about the podcast. Youcould explain it, say it's about
an honest mental healthconversation. It's a little bit
funny. It's a little bitdeprecating, or don't explain it
(25:37):
at all. And just send them anairdrop link and boom, they have
it in their phone. Thank you somuch for listening. I will be
back with a new episode. Notnext Thursday but the following
Thursday.
Theme Song (25:55):
Therapy Roulette Consent to Vent / Trauma
disguised as comedy / TherapyRoulette: Consent to Vent / If
you dont have problems, thenyoure likely repressing sh*t
and you should find a therapist/ (Whos not me)
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