Rethink Resolutions

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to There Is a Method to the Madness.
My name is Rob Maxwell.
I'm an exercise physiologist andpersonal trainer.
I'm the owner of Maxwell'sFitness Programs and have been
in business since 1994.
The purpose of this podcast isto get to the real deal of what
really works and mostimportantly, why things work.

(00:22):
We got to trust the science andtrust the experience and get our
advice where, you know, peoplekind of know what they're
talking about.
I think this podcast is one ofthose sources.
Today I'm going to talk aboutNew Year's resolutions and goal
setting.
Before I get to that, let methank Jonathan and Lynn Gilden

(00:43):
of the Gilding Group at RealtyPros.
They are committed to providingthe highest level of customer
service in home sales.
Why don't you give them a call?
Figure out what your house isworth.
386-451-2412.
All right, so it's just beforeNew Year's coming up.

(01:06):
Today is December 30th.
I think that's when this show iscoming out as well.
But anyway, it's just before thenew year.
It doesn't really matter howmany days before.
It is just before.
And most people or a lot ofpeople are setting their New
Year's resolution.
Some people are doing it superformally.

(01:28):
Some people are thinking aboutit and possibly posting some
things on social media.
Some people are just thinkingabout new goals, things they
want to accomplish.
Look, none of these things arebad.
And I can remember in my youngerdays, like going through an
elaborate process at the end ofthe year, I was kind of like in

(01:49):
this kick of following some ofStephen Covey's models, which
are very good, by the way, butlike a real elaborate way of
planning out all of my goals.
It's all great.
I think goals are reallyimportant.
You know, I I often say though,it's it's about getting better,
better from where you are andbetter in areas that you need to

(02:11):
get better at.
But in regards to New Year'sresolutions, I mean, do they
work?
Because isn't that what thiscomes down to?
All of these things, like, doesit work?
So many people argue on socialmedia about different things,

(02:32):
and people go back and forthwhether things are wrong or
whether things are right.
And I sit back often and go,yeah, but does it work?
I mean, that's the importantpart.
And if you look at the science,the social sciences on New
Year's resolutions, you wouldsee that the data pretty much

(02:52):
says no.
It's kind of like when somebodysets one of those elaborate
goals, you know, how often dothey achieve it?
And most importantly, like, dothey continue to do it?
So the the answer on the NewYear's resolutions goals is no.

(03:15):
Are there outliers that mightstate that a person is extremely
successful every end ofDecember, early January, to
where they set some goal up towhere it's going to be, I don't
know, I'm going to, you know,lose 30 pounds and I'm going to

(03:35):
do it by doing this this year.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there areoutliers out there where
somebody has a really goodintricate program that works for
them.
But most of the data says thatfor most people, it does not
work.
So am I being pessimistic?
Am I being negative?
Absolutely not.
I'm positive.
I'm always trying to be positivein this show.

(03:57):
I want people to do things in away that will help them, to
follow the science, to figureout a better way to go, you
know, instead of like alwaystrusting these opinions on
social media or mainstream mediaor whatever it is, like so much
of it is opinion.

(04:18):
There are people that are justrepeating what they heard from
other people.
I like to go to the sources.
So, what do the socialscientists say regarding goal
setting?
Like, why don't we learn toalways go to the sources of what
we're looking for?
Like, quit following what BobbyJoe says on Facebook regarding

(04:40):
diet.
And why don't we like go towhere dieticians and physicians
and physiologists and peoplelike that are telling you about
diet?
I mean, too often we are caughtup in other people's opinions
and kind of chasing after thewrong people.
So why don't we learn to not dothat?
Why don't we get back totrusting experts?

(05:03):
Because you know, most expertshave gone to school and have had
a lot of experience doingcertain things.
So I think that's justpersonally a better way to go.
So what is what does the sciencesay?
The science says that instead oflike setting some elaborate
resolution that typicallydoesn't work.

(05:24):
It's kind of like if you've hadan alcoholic in your family, or
if you have one or been one orare one, you know that
typically, oftentimes whensomebody wants to drink, they
say, Oh, I'm never gonna drinkagain.
And then they do.
So that doesn't seem to work.
So what tends to work withpeople changing their behavior?

(05:48):
What we found in the case ofresolutions or learned long-term
goal setting is number one, youhave to control what you can
control, what you have absolutecontrol over.
So, for example, a lot of peopleare going to say they resolve to

(06:09):
lose a certain amount of weightin 2025.
And will they?
I don't know.
Will they and keep it off?
The statistics say no.
So, you know, most likely not.
But when you really get down toit, and I want you to pay
attention to this very, verycarefully because it's
important, you don't have 100%over control over whether or not

(06:35):
you lose weight.
You don't have 100% control overthat.
Like there are things that go onin your metabolism.
There are so many physiologicalprocesses that are going on that
you don't have 100% control overit.
You have control.
But here's the key.
Here's the key to this wholepodcast.

(06:57):
What you have control over isyour actions.
So instead of saying you'regonna lose 30 pounds, think
about a person that you mightknow or a person that you want
to be in the case of maintaininga nice, steady weight, a nice
healthy weight.
Whatever that is in your mind,think about who they might be.

(07:20):
Or maybe it was you at onepoint.
Maybe this isn't you at all.
Maybe there are other goals.
I'm just giving you an exampleof weight loss.
What are their actions?
So instead of saying I want todo this, think, okay, what is
the type of person thatmaintains this weight?
What do they do?

(07:41):
So the science of goal settingsays if you can fine-tune it
down to what your 100% controlover is, figure it out.
Like, what do you have controlover?
Whatever the goal is, and thendo that behavior that is
absolutely your best shot atreaching your goal.

(08:05):
Or if we want to keep it to theNew Year's story, then your New
Year's resolution.
So what do they do?
Think about it.
So a person that maintains theirweight, sure, you can say, oh,
they have good genetics and allthis.
Well, look, after a certainamount of time, like I don't
know, I'll just throw thisnumber out there.
After the age of, say, 40, allthat stuff kind of catches up.

(08:28):
I mean, yeah, there's always agenetic link with weight loss
and many other things.
Most studies show it's no higherthan 25%, though.
So, in other words, 25% of ourweight loss or weight gain is
genetic at the most, the verymost.
So that leaves 75% of it uponus.
So a lot of it after 40 kind ofcatches up.

(08:50):
And then it comes down to howare the eating habits?
Like, you know, after 40, Imean, somebody is if if they're
keeping their weight off,they're they're doing a lot of
things right, right?
So what are those things?
I mean, they probably eat inmoderation, like they don't
binge, they probably eatconsistent meals per day and

(09:12):
don't wait till they're hungry,which that's one of the things
that like people get so wrong.
They say, oh, you know, I'm nothungry.
Well, guess what?
Nobody is.
Well, I shouldn't say nobody.
There are people in uh poorerparts of the world and people on
the streets that legitimatelyare hungry, but typically you
don't really feel hunger forover 48 hours.

(09:36):
So nobody's really hungry.
What they do is they have anappetite.
An appetite tells you when youwant to eat.
Well, oftentimes people say theydon't have an appetite, and
maybe they don't because they'rebusy or they're stressed or
they're not thinking about it,but that's no excuse.
Somebody who maintains theirweight year in and year out

(09:56):
doesn't wait for how they feel.
They eat at certain times duringthe day.
They eat scheduled, theytypically eat breakfast, lunch,
and dinner, and many eatbreakfast, lunch, and dinner in
two small stacks, snacks orstacks, stacks of potatoes, no,
snacks.
So model after what people aredoing right.

(10:18):
Be that person who hits thosegoals.
Somebody who maintains theirweight most likely exercises on
a regular basis.
They have a nice habit ofwalking every morning, or maybe
they jog every morning.
Somebody who maintains theirweight most likely has a sport.

(10:38):
Maybe they play golf, maybe theyplay tennis, maybe they play
pickleball, maybe they swim, butthey have a sport, many, not
all, that they follow.
So there are habits that we canpick up for our goals.
And instead of saying, I want todo this, say, I want to be this
person because I have 100%control over these actions.

(11:04):
I can do this today.
Like I can get up and go by howI feel.
Oh, you know, I don't reallyfeel like eating now.
I want to lose weight, so I'mgoing to do this because, you
know, Bobby Joe down at the atthe shop, you know, this is what
he does when he loses weight.
I mean, how many times do peoplefollow unsuccessful people down

(11:26):
the same path?
I mean, the classic case of theblind leading the blind, it
happens all the time.
The people with the biggest,loudest mouths on diet are
typically the ones who arefinding some success just right
now on the latest diet thatthey're on, and they're sitting
around the lunch table tellingeverybody about their miraculous

(11:48):
diet that helped them lose 30pounds, and everybody forgets
that it's the same person thatdid this two years ago.
But yet, I mean, the problemisn't them giving their success
stories.
The problem is people listeningand go, oh, I'm gonna do that,
instead of going, well, wait aminute, this person has
struggled since I've known them,and now I'm gonna follow them on

(12:11):
yet another diet.
I mean, why not go to theexperts on these things?
So don't model after that personthat's finding short-term
success for the 100th time.
Model after somebody who hasfound success year in and year
out.
And if you look at theirbehaviors and characteristics,

(12:33):
if you're overweight, you willfind that they are probably very
different than yours.
They probably don't drink.
And if they do, they definitelydon't drink in excess.
As I already stated, they mostlikely have a daily exercise
routine that most likely beginsin the morning.
They most likely have a sportthat they follow so they can

(12:57):
stay active throughout the day.
Because I saw a statisticrecently that said that our
ancestors now are hunter andgatherer ancestors.
So we're going way, way, wayback.
They moved 12 times more than wedo, 12 times more, okay?

(13:20):
Not a hundred percent, twohundred percent, one thousand,
two hundred percent more than wedo.
They moved that much more,right?
So what do we want to do withour goals?
What do we want to do with ourNew Year's resolutions?

(13:42):
I I picked on weight loss alittle bit because it's so
common, but maybe it's some ofit's something else, you know.
Maybe it's you want to becomebetter at a particular sport,
like you resolve to finallymaster your golf game.
Okay.
So what do people do that dothat?
I mean, I hate to say it, and Ithink golfers know this.

(14:05):
They play a ton of golf.
So do you have time for that?
Like, I'm just throwing thingsout there.
What is it for you?
Figure it out.
Like, maybe you want to be waybetter with your time
management.
Well, if that's the case, again,figure out what people do who
are known to be very efficientwith their time.

(14:26):
And I think we know that.
Like, as soon as I said thataloud, I thought of a couple
different people that are justso good with their time.
How do I know?
Well, when their workoutappointment comes, they're like
dead on there.
I'll I'll throw one out thereright now, Jake.
I see him this morning at seveno'clock.

(14:46):
And like he gets there at 6.59or 7 every time he works out.
I mean, it it's amazing.
Not, you know, 647 when hisappointment's at seven, and he's
pacing in the parking lot, or,you know, he knows behind the
door I'm steaming because I'mtrying to finish my freaking
shake and somebody's earlybanging on the door.

(15:08):
No, he doesn't do that.
And he doesn't pop in at 7.05because he understands, or you
know, I don't know if he doesunderstand that we have clients
right after him.
Like, I don't think that's hismotivation.
I think his motivation is to beon time because that's what he
does.
And then as we talk, I get tolearn more about his

(15:29):
punctuality.
And he talks about, well, I dothis and I do this.
So that's how I know.
So right away, again, modelafter somebody.
I'm just giving examples.
Like, what is it you resolve todo?
Figure out who does these thingssuccessfully.
Don't follow unsuccessful.
I mean, that's the blind leadingthe blind.

(15:51):
All right.
Don't follow that.
Follow people who aresuccessful.
All right.
And by the way, uh let me let mepick on my math skills because
ever since I said it, it's beenbugging me.
1200%, not 12,000.
So there you go.
But 12 times more, they used tomove.
So, what does that mean?

(16:11):
I mean, getting back to thatgoal, people who lost weight,
maintain weight, they move alot.
So we have to figure out arethese behaviors in our control?
Are they?
I pause because I want you tothink about it.
Are they in our control?
Then that's what we have to do.

(16:31):
So, recap.
Number one, when you set yourresolutions, make sure you're
100% in control of the outcome.
Number two, pick behaviorchanges, the person you want to
be, figure out what it is andmodel it.
And by the way, you got to stickto it.
Don't think it's gonna work in aweek.
It's gonna take discipline tostick to these new behaviors,

(16:54):
but you can do it.
It is far worth it.
In the over 30 years that I'vebeen doing, working with people
and personal training andwellness and things like this,
you know, I've seen so muchsuccess.
So people can change.
People can lose weight, peoplecan drop their blood pressure,
people can get better at theirhobbies and sports, people can

(17:14):
become better at timemanagement, people can become
meditators, people can learn ayoga practice.
Like people can change.
It's really awesome to see.
And every time they do, theymodel a new behavior.
All right, now let me thankoverhead Dort of Daytona Beach.
Jeff and Zach Cock arephenomenal clients.

(17:36):
I've seen Zach recently change,losing 25 pounds.
How?
He's following a new meal planthat he decided to ask me about
and make sure that I'm gettinghim on the right road and he is
losing that weight.
He was already in good shape.
But they have the best garagedoor company in Volusia County.
Why don't you check them out at386 222 3165?