The Art of Motivation Without Pushy Advice

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to there is a Method to the Madness.
My name is Rob Maxwell and I'man exercise physiologist and
personal trainer.
I am the owner of Maxwell'sFitness Programs and I've been
in business since 1994.
The purpose of this podcast isto get to the real deal of what
really works and, mostimportantly, why things work.

(00:21):
Hence the name.
There is a a method to themadness.
Before I get to today's show, Iwant to thank Jonathan and Lynn
Gildan of the Gildan Group atRealty Pros.
They are committed to providingthe highest level of customer
service in home sales.
Why don't you give them a shoutand figure out what your home
is worth?
386-451-2412.

(00:44):
Good morning, good afternoon,good evening, rob, here to talk
about some fitness today.
Hope everybody's doing well.
I want to remind everybody toplease subscribe when you get
these podcasts.
You know, maybe somebody sendsthem to you, maybe I send them

(01:06):
to you, but if you'd hit thesubscribe button in the top
right-hand corner, whetheryou're listening on Apple or
Spotify or something else, it isgreatly appreciated.
And if you hear something youreally like, if you want to try
to maybe help somebody getmotivated to exercise, you know,
send it to them.
I just got off the phoneFaceTime with a remote client

(01:29):
that I have and we finished upour session talking about that,
how it really is.
Just so much about theaccountability, the
accountability partner.
You know so many people justneed somebody to help them, to
help them to do it.
So sometimes passing stuff onis a way that we can do that All

(01:51):
right.
So, speaking of that, there isthis balance between trying to
help but also realizing that ifwe try to help too much we can
kind of move somebody away fromtheir motivation.
So let's talk about that alittle bit today, because you

(02:12):
know, when we tend to getmotivated, when we tend to
become like into it ourselveswhich is a good thing we carry
that passion around and then wewant everybody to feel it too.
So it comes out of good place.
But the problem is it doesn'talways work.
One of my favorite quotes byPresident John F Kennedy is the

(02:37):
time to repair the roof is whenthe sun is shining.
I mean, isn't that pretty cooland isn't that so true?
I mean, god, that hits home forus here in Florida with the
hurricanes, right.
So I mean we can just picturethat now, man Trying to repair
something when the storm isstill going is not going to

(02:59):
happen.
But what does that mean in theexercise world?
So sarcopenia is age-relatedmuscle mass loss and it begins
to happen in the 30s for mostpeople.
It really accelerates as we getolder.
In our 50s it takes a big jump,in our 60s an even bigger jump.

(03:23):
I mean, basically what it meansis that if we don't use it,
we're going to lose it.
I mean, that's all sarcopeniareally is, because studies have
also found that if you maintainyour exercise program or maybe
you never had one in your teensbecause you didn't need it,

(03:46):
because you were maybe playingbaseball or playing volleyball
or you were surfing, or you'reriding your bike to school or
you're doing all these thingsyou did I mean, we all know
those people that never reallytechnically exercised in high
school, maybe they played sportsand maybe in their 20s.
There was those that hit the gyma lot and worked out in college

(04:10):
, or those that you know hit thegym after work in their 20s and
there were some people thatdidn't do much of anything but
they just naturally stayed fit.
Well, you know, those are the20s and got hormones on your
side, you got youth on your side, you got all these great things
on your side and then you know,something happens to a lot of

(04:32):
people around that age.
They begin to get into theirfull time jobs, their adult jobs
, so to say.
Start having families, maybe.
Jobs, so to say, start havingfamilies maybe.
And a lot of the self-care.
And maybe there never wasself-care, maybe you just had
youth on your side, as I said,but a lot of that just gets

(04:54):
pushed aside.
I mean, I was a big workout guyin college because I loved it,
but I know a lot of people werenot and a lot of people didn't
come to it till afterwards.
I mean, we've all heard of thefamous freshman 15 or freshman
20.
And I guess nowadays people aresaying freshman 30 because
people are putting more weighton than they used to, which may

(05:16):
or may not be true, but you knowwhy does this happen?
Well, I mean people startmoving less for the first time
in their lives.
I mean people start moving lessfor the first time in their
lives Most of them, noteverybody and people start
eating more, whether it just bebecause there's more available,
maybe where you go to collegehas cafeterias with a lot of
food, maybe there is someanxiety issues going on that

(05:39):
force people, not force.
But, you know, help people toeat more, assist in people
eating more.
You know, maybe there's socialpressure, maybe there's
depression, who the heck knows?
But a lot of people do gainweight during their college time
, right, and people are notexercising as much.
So, you know, fast forward intomore of the adult life.

(06:03):
When people then come out ofcollege or come out of trade
school or come out of whateverthey're doing and start their
jobs, that becomes the big focus.
It's kind of like the trendwe've been on, essentially just
before World War II.
It's like, well, that's the ageof go to work, you work for 20
or 30 years, 30, 40 years,whatever, and then you retire.

(06:25):
Now what happens is a lot ofpeople quit their physical
movement.
I mean, it's just very natural,and what we're seeing now is
the epidemic of that.
We've been seeing it for awhile.
This is not anything new.
The obesity crisis is worse nowthan ever, but as far as we

(06:45):
seeing people not reallyexercise and losing their muscle
mass, I mean I'd have to lookat the statistics to be sure,
but I would imagine it mightactually be a little bit better
now because people are going tothe gym now, later in life, far
more than they ever have.
Thank God, I mean, we see sucha motivated clientele with
people over 60.

(07:05):
They're really, really, reallyanxious to keep all the muscle
on their body that they can.
So that's a beautiful thing.
But what happens in between is alot of people don't do it right
.
So go back to Kennedy's wordsit's like you know, the time to
fix that roof is before it rains, unfortunately.
How do we get that message topeople that are just approaching

(07:29):
that adulthood, right?
How do we get them tounderstand that this is the time
to start making sure that thatroof doesn't leak?
Because, again, sarcopenia isage-related muscle mass loss and
mostly because we don't use themuscles anymore.

(07:51):
Use it or lose it.
Studies have shown that if westrength train, we will maintain
almost all of our muscle massNot complete all of it, but most
of it.
And then, if we even pick upworking out, we're going to
regain muscle mass.
All right, so we definitely cando it.
So we know strength training isthe way to do this and other

(08:15):
forms of exercise cycling,walking which will also increase
the musculature of the lowerbody as well.
So we know that exercise willkeep muscle on the body and it
will keep muscle from atrophying.
So that's very, very critical.
How do you get a population ofpeople that don't necessarily
believe that yet to do it?

(08:37):
How do you get a population ofpeople that really need to start
working on that roof whenthey're looking at themselves
and going, I'm absolutely fine?
Well, you know, that's the ageold question and it's really,
really hard and I'm going to dothe best to try to give you some

(08:57):
answers.
You know I had a discussionwith the client today, you know,
as he was leaving and he wastalking about, you know, I just
starting to see, you know, afriend of mine, super motivated,
because I'm getting motivated,and you know I want to jump in
and like start like telling themwhat they should start to do,
but I'm afraid if I push toohard, you know it's no longer
going to be their idea andthey're not going to do it.

(09:19):
And I looked at him.
I said you are absolutely right.
I mean, that is what's going tohappen.
So for those of us that are likemotivated and see the way and
understand the way, it'sextremely frustrating to watch
other people not get it Right.
It is.
It's very hard and you canimagine in my industry.
You know, with what I do, and Isee it, you know, I mean gosh,

(09:40):
I could.
I could walk around Publix allday and be like you know, with
what I do and I see it, you know, I mean gosh, I could.
I could walk around Publix allday and be like you know, if you
just did some posterior deltoidwork, you wouldn't have those
rounded shoulders when you'repushing that golf cart yeah,
they're pushing their golf cartin Publix.
You wouldn't have that issue ifyou're pushing your shopping

(10:01):
cart.
If you actually trained yourrhomboids at the gym, I mean
that would go over so well,right, I mean, that's one of my
benign examples, right there.
I mean you can imagine how Ican come up with worse scenarios
where I end up like gettingarrested in public, right, so
can't do it, right.
And when I see like Facebookfriends, you know we all have

(10:24):
Facebook friends and probablyonly 5% of them are really
friends.
But we have these acquaintances, these people we see every day
maybe, and they do nothing butcomplain about their health and
these kinds of problems.
And you know, oh man, you know.
No, I don't think I was everdumb enough to make a reply
comment to somebody telling themwhat they should do.

(10:44):
I think I've had enough commonsense not to do that.
But I see other people do itand man does it.
Just it's like smacking ahornet's nest.
I mean, I don't know why peopledo it Like.
I don't really know why peoplecomplain on social media.
I think people really, reallythink that people are more
interested than they are.

(11:05):
I don't know why they do it, Idon't.
But I also know that me givingthem solutions number one isn't
really what they're looking for.
Most of the time people arelooking for attention, and
number two it's not going to doany good.
So you can imagine in my fieldhow tough it is right, and it's
even hard for me when it's alegitimate ask of me which is

(11:29):
hey, do you think you can talkto my son?
He's at the University ofFlorida and I think now's the
time he needs to get busy andI'm always like, oh God, you
know no.
And so there's your answerright there no, like, the best
we can do is be good examples.
That's the best example we cando.

(11:52):
I mean, I do a podcast, so youknow, maybe an interested kid
might be coming across a healthand fitness podcast.
Because he sees one of thetitles that you know, a
clickbait title that I rarelyever use, and when I do it's
kind of a joke and I do it onpurpose.
And a friend of mine who worksin that industry will say, oh
nice, clickbait.
Hardly ever do it, but aclickbait would be.

(12:14):
I think you probably understand, but it would be something like
great.
But now you know one of thosetitles and people will be like,
oh man, let me click on that, orbetter sex tomorrow.
You know people will be like,oh man, let me hear this.
You know, so that's clickbait,right, but let's just say I have

(12:35):
one on there that sayssomething like great arms, now,
okay.
So maybe there's this 25 yearold scrolling through the health
and fitness section of podcastsand that one pops up and he
listens to it.
Then he starts listening to it,then he hears about
preventative medicine and how totake care of himself now, so
when he's 60, he can enjoy moreof his life, and so on, and so

(12:56):
on.
I mean that's the only thing wecan do.
That's what I do.
I send the message out therefor the general population to
understand and then hopefully,you know, the universe will
deliver it where it is needed togo, but I can't control the
rest and neither can you.
We cannot make younger people,older people or whatever people

(13:19):
do anything that we think theyshould do.
It is not going to happen.
You know, for anybody that's hadany experience themselves or
with friends that have belongedto different 12-step groups like
AA or NA or FA or OA orwhatever workaholics I know

(13:41):
actually a couple of people thathave done that too.
I mean, they always say thatthey're a program of attraction
versus promotion, and I justthink that's so true number one,
you know.
And I just think that's so truenumber one, you know, because

(14:18):
we also know those recoverypeople sometimes that are
recently recovered, and they youknow.
But there are people thatrelapse frequently and then when
they're not drinking they'rekind of like trying to convert
everybody else, and so manypeople with more experience of
sobriety would say, hey, take astep back.
There's anonymity for reason,which means keep all of that to
yourself, and it's not becauseyou're embarrassed, it's because
it's the better way to gothrough things, cause then if

(14:38):
you relapse and everybody knowswhat you've been doing now,
they're going to fault theprogram.
So that's really what anonymityis.
I just maybe taught yousomething, but promoting it,
pushing it as a way never works.
You have to be the example thatyou want others to be.

(14:59):
You just have to be thatexample.
And then, if and whensomebody's ready you know, maybe
they are 30 and maybe they arestarting to see how this is
going to go for them in four orfive years, you know 10 years,
11, 20 years, whatever Maybethey'll say, hey, I've noticed,
you've always stayed in shape.
What do you do?
I mean, that is the very bestthing we can do.

(15:22):
We can be role models.
You can't make anybody dosomething that they're not ready
to do.
You can only be a role modelfor exactly what you believe in,
what you love.
You can just practice it everyday, be it.
If somebody comes up to you andasks you questions, that's what
I.
I mean that's what I do.

(15:42):
I mean I don't say a word toanybody online.
If somebody asks me a specificquestion, I'll absolutely answer
them.
I like that actually.
You know, if somebody doeshappen to get to know me a
little bit, I use Publix a lotas an example, just because my
daughter works there.
So you know, if somebody doeshappen to get to know me a
little bit.
I use Publix a lot as anexample, just because my
daughter works there.
So you know I'm one of thosedads that likes to go where your
kid is, you know.
So I'll go in there sometimes.

(16:04):
So I get to know a lot ofdifferent people.
Plus, I, you know, work therewhen I was younger too.
So I think it's a good story.
But that's neither here northere.
But if some of the kids youknow college kids get to know me
some of my daughter's friends,you know and they'll say hey,
you know, mr Maxwell, you knowhow do I get arms like that, you
know?
I mean, I'll sit there and talkto him because that's an

(16:24):
invitation, but if I haven'tbeen invited, I'm not going to
insert my opinion.
I can have an opinion aboutwhatever I want, but you know
what?
It doesn't mean I get toexpress it right, or I can
express it and it's going to notgo over very well.
So you know, we all have toremember that, you know.
So what do we do about the roof?
Well, here's the deal If theroof is leaking and somebody

(16:45):
comes in and asks you to helpthem, well then help them fix
the roof.
But until then, you just got tobe the example.
Thank you for listening totoday's program.
I ask you to please follow theshow wherever you get your
podcasts and please selectautomatic download, because that
really helps the show.

(17:06):
Now I want to thank OverheadDoor of Daytona Beach, the
area's premier garage doorcompany.
They have the best product.
They have the best service.
I personally vouch for Jeff andZach Hawk, the owners.
They are great people with agreat company.
If you have any garage doorneeds, please give them a shout

(17:26):
at 386-222-3165.