From the Pantry: Boo Without Goo: Scary Movies For the Squeamish Part 1: 92

In which Carla expands a horror movie project that began as a challenge from her best friend: what high-quality horror movies don't have gore?

Originally broadcast July 2, 2017

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Carla, and welcome back to their rightbey, cupcakes.
I am working on at third Boo without Goo episode,
which is my long list of horror movies that can
be enjoyed by people who don't like gore.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Or they can be used introductions to the horror and
genre young and young at Heart. Unfortunately, not only I've
been having helps, but my senior dog, Carlo has been
having problems.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
He is a big dog that has lived to the
miraculous old age of eighteen, so six or seven more
years than we should have been blessed to have him,
and he is being observed by the VET to day,
so wow. I have been going through his side for
a while. He has had a little bit of immediate needs,
and I've been pouring myself into him. So I'm taking

(00:50):
this opportunity while he's being observed today at the VET
to work on the third episode and upload. Well. My
heart does not fully in recording the first and second
from the vault, so hopefully I can help some of
you prepare for Halloween. Because I've been seeing this question
on red at it what movies can I show my kids?

(01:11):
They're ready for horror? But I'm worried about what to
show them. I'm ready for horror, but I'm sweemish so
I and hope you enjoy this Part one from the Pantry.
Part two installment will air tomorrow, and by then I'm
hoping we'll have good news for mister Arlow. I'll have
part three for being so patient with me. Horror was

(02:19):
rooted in sympathy and understanding what it would be like
to suffer the worst Joe Hill heart shaped box. We
make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.
Stephen King. Hi, this is Carla, and welcome back to
episode ten. Up there might be cupcakes. This episode is

(02:42):
sponsored by one of my very favorite companies, Audible, since
in this episode, I will be discussing lists of horror movies,
specifically horror movies for those who do not want gore
and squish with their boot. An appropriate recommendation for an
audiobook choice is Don's Macabre with Stephen King's classic treatise
on the Whys and We're Foods of the horror genre,

(03:03):
narrated by William du Free, an accomplished Audible narrator. You
can buy it by clicking through the link I will
provide on the podcast website and the entry for this episode,
or you can get it for free by going to
my sponsor link www. Dot audibletrial dot com. Slash might
be cupcakes. All one word that's Audible Trial all one

(03:25):
word dot com. Slash might be cupcakes. Also all on work.
You can choose this book or any other to download
for yourself for free, and also get a thirty day
free trial of Audible membership and the book you choose,
no matter what the title you know, dots, macob or
another one is yours to keep no matter what. So
please click through and check Audible out and accept your

(03:47):
free book to thank them for being so generous and
for sponsoring Little storytelling me. Thank you so much for
checking it out. Thank you, my wonderful book provider, Audible
for sponsoring this episode. And welcome my list listeners to
the fun of audiobooks. Now, let us turn to the
fun of horror without all the gore? Shall we invitation

(04:08):
to dance? It's a dance, and sometimes they turn off
the lights in the ballroom, but we'll dance anyway. You
and I, even in the dark, especially in the dark,
may have the pleasure. Stephen King, Okay, this whole episode

(04:48):
started with the list. You know I love making lists.
This particular list started much shorter a couple of years
ago as a project for my best friend Joshua. Horror
Movies for the squeamish. It has expanded as news splendid
horror movies have been made, and as friends and fans
atthdalup dot net have made suggestions. I posted it there

(05:08):
for Dollopen, which is my yearly Halloween project for the Dollup.
I've further expanded it for this episode to the spookly
appropriate number of thirty one movies lah because I can
and because I'm a dork. The three types of terror
The gross out the sight of the severed head tumbling

(05:29):
down the flat of stairs. It's when the lights go
out and some the green and slimy splatters against your arm.
The horror, the unnatural spiders, the size of bears, the
dead waking up and walking around. It's when the lights
go out and something with claws grabs you by the arm.
And the last and the worst one terror when you

(05:52):
come home and you notice everything you own has been
taken away and replaced by an exact substitute. It's when
the lights go out and you feel something behind you,
You hear it, you feel its breadth against your ear,
But when you turn around, there's nothing there. Stephen King,

(06:15):
the last and worst one. Terror is what we're focusing
on for terror needs no unnatural or splatter. Okay, here's
the list of thirty one movies, in no particular order.
First I'll give you the main list, and then we'll
play with it. Paranormal Activity twenty ten, paper House nineteen ninety,

(06:39):
which is based upon the young adult novel Mary Anne
Dreams by Catherine Store That's st r R Lady in
White nineteen eighty eight, The Changeling nineteen eighty with the
amazing George C. Scott, What Lies Beneath two thousand with

(06:59):
Harrison Ford, Michelle Pfeiffer fourteen oh eight in two thousand
and seven, The first Stephen King on the list, Storm
of the Century nineteen ninety nine, and oh look, there's
the second Stephen King. The Others two thousand and one,
Dark Water both the original two thousand and two and

(07:21):
the American remake two thousand and five with Jennifer Connelly,
rose Red two thousand and two, Nookie, Stephen King again,
Chucker The Haunting nineteen sixty three, based upon Shirley Jackson's
novel The Haunting of Hill House Skeleton Key two thousand
and five, The Ward two thousand and ten, Summer of Fear,

(07:45):
sometimes also known as Stranger in Our House nineteen seventy eight,
based upon the young adult novel by Lois Duncan, The
Ones Below twenty fifteen, It Follows twenty fourteen, jessbel twenty fourteen.
This one comes with a caveat. There's one dead goat

(08:07):
carcass shown, but just the carcass. No action.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
The Caller twenty eleven, Returned to Oz, Oh My Heart.
Pruis a Bulk nineteen eighty five, The Watcher in the
Woods nineteen eighty Emily Spelled E M. E.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
L E.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Twenty fifteen, The Visit twenty fifteen, Rosemary's Baby nineteen sixty eight,
and Believe It or Not, Yes, there's no gore in
this movie. The blair Witch Project plus the short mockumentary
Curse of the blair Witch nineteen ninety nine, Unfriended twenty fourteen.

(08:52):
Something Wicked This Way Comes nineteen eighty three, based upon
the Rape Bradberry novel The good Son nineteen ninety three.
The Hand that Rocks the Cradle nineteen ninety two. The
House is October Built twenty fourteen. This is a remake
of the twenty eleven original by the same film Milker filmmakers.

(09:15):
Excuse me, I have not seen the original. This is
one of those movies. I'll just warn you. You'll finish
it and you'll swear it was gory. I promise you
no gore none. It's just that intense one Hour Photo
two thousand and two. And The Woman in Black twenty twelve.

(10:04):
It is dark, you cannot see, only the hint of
stars out the broken window, and a voice as old
as the snake from the garden whispers, I hold your hand,
John Wick. Okay. Next list the top ten scariest and

(10:28):
creepiest on this list of thirty one in my humble opinion,
in a particular order. Paranormal Activity. Don't laugh at me,
stop it. I hear you. The Changeling What Lies Beneath
fourteen oh eight, The Others, Skeleton Key. It follows the

(10:53):
Witch Emily and the blare Witch project with Curse of
the Blair Witch. I think they're going together. Okay, Paranormal activity,
Bear with me. It's a fun eerie mystery, and it
is truly horrifying, especially if you put yourself in Katie
and Mika's place. Think about it. You have this lovely,

(11:17):
open layout home. You're a reasonably happy couple who support
each other, and you work hard for what you have,
and all you expect is no weird noises when you
go to bed at night, for items to remain where
you place them, and to have free agency, in other words,
to know what you're doing and why at all times.
It's not too much to ask for up and coming millennial,

(11:39):
but nope, here there be others in your house. We
ask only to be reassured about the noises in the
cellar and the window that should not have been open. T. S. Eliot,
The Family Reunion, The Changeling. Oh for atmosphere, setting, and acting,

(12:01):
this movie cannot be beat and the careful unfolding of
the horror really draws you in. It's definitely when to
immerse yourself in and watching the dark. Definitely what lies
beneath Many many directors have tried to be Hitchcockian in
their sense of menace, doom and nobody's who they seem

(12:22):
and failed. Well. Lies beneath is the real deal, a
slow creeper, and it doesn't matter if the protagonist is
correcting her suspicions or dangerously paranoid, because either outcome is
gonna be horrifying. Fourteen oh eight. This Stephen King movie

(12:42):
is the reason I can no longer listen to the Carpenters.
And I'm a seventies baby, so that's serious business. It's
not hyperbole. Thanks to King and John Cusack, We've only
just begun makes you feel like I'm gonna throw her up.
It's so worth it and I can't wait. Don't watch
it again the others. This is another one to get

(13:11):
lost in, another one like What Lies Beneath, where you
don't quite know what the hell is going on, but
you were in this isolated house right along with the protagonists,
and whatever the outcome is, it ain't good. The visuals
are simply stunning in their horror. I seriously would frame
certain scare moments from this film's art skeleton. Key horror

(13:33):
filmmakers and writers know that other people's unfamiliar houses are
kind of spooky. That's why so much horror is framed
around new vacation homes like Cabin Fever and babysitting like Halloween.
I mean, really think about it. How many horror movies
and horror novels take places place in someone else's house? Well,

(13:55):
Living Caregiven is just as spooky. Add Louisiana Baye and
a creepy, not quite right family, and thinking about this
movie just gives me the shivers. I think I'm gonna
watch it again this week. Actually it follows. Okay, I
can't describe this movie too much for fear of spoiling it.

(14:18):
It's frightening because if it's surreality and setting, it's economically
burned out Detroit, but in Detroit that's never quite existed
all of this same time, watch for details. It's also
frightening because of its metaphor. It's frightening because of what

(14:39):
we people are willing to do to each other. It's
frightening because isolation is frightening, and sometimes togetherness can be
more frightening than isolation. Brilliant movie. When I rented it,
I watched it three times before returning it. The Witch genius, genius, genius.

(15:01):
I'm annoyed that I didn't create this movie. Lovel genius.
Do not let anyone spoil the ending before the ending
for you. Yes, I meant to see that the ending,
before the ending of the movie. After you watch it,
rewatch it and look for serendipity and the unfolding of
events first viewing, just get lost in it and get

(15:23):
really really scared. Emily and here's the babysitting movie, but
flipped on his head. Do you really know who you're
leaving alone in your house for several hours with your
children in your private space. This movie is psychologically terrifying.
And Sarah Bulger, who played the young Queen Mary in

(15:45):
the luscious Showtime series The Tutors, I Love The Tutors,
nails her role. This movie frightened and frightens and horrifies
as One Hour Photo does. Remember how often Williams made
you feel in One Hour Photo? Yeah, brush yourself The
blair Witch Project. Do not go hipster on me. If

(16:07):
you block out outside influences and you watch the original
movie back to back with its accompanying documentary Curse the
blair Witch, just you, them and the dark, you will
then spend some time afraid of the woods. I promise
I will never forget the first time I saw this movie.
It's in the theater, and then I felt weird afterwards, unsettled,

(16:31):
I went to a coffee shop afterwards, and I just
sat around waiting to feel normal enough again to go home.
At bottom, you see, we are not Homo sapiens at all.
Our core is madness. The prime directive is murder. What
Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that
we came to rule the earth not because we were

(16:53):
the smartest or even the meanest, but because we've always
been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the job. Stephen
king Cell all right, now here's my top ten favorites
on this list of thirty one movies, again in no
particular order. This was a very difficult list to drill

(17:14):
down on, and you're gonna see a lot of overlap
with the creepiest ones. The Changeling. It follows Skeleton Key,
The Witch, the Blair Witch, Pet Project, Ellie Edward, The
Hand that Rocks the Cradle, Paranormal Activity, the others, the

(17:34):
houses October built, and one on a photo. I will
never forget seeing the Hand that rocks the Cradle in
the theater. The opening scene. Okay, spoiler alert, skip ahead
thirty seconds a minute or so. The opening scene is
in a gynecologist's office, and the doctor, who is qu

(17:55):
from Star Trek the next generation, removes his glove. They're
in the examination. The entire audience gasped, male and female,
and I swear you could also hear the sound of
assholes tightening as well. In response. There's another perversion of
normalcy later in the film. I'll let you find that

(18:16):
for yourself. And the gasping and asshole tightening was louder.
I truly thought that people were going to walk out
of the movie because it was such an intense violation
of norms. See what you can do with absolutely no
blood and gore. The shortest horror story, The Last Man

(18:37):
on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a
knock at the door. Frederick Brown last reason for reading horror.
It's a rehearsal for death. It's a way to get ready.
People say there's nothing sure but death and taxes, but
that's not really true. There's really only death. You know,

(19:00):
Death is the biggie. Two hundred years from now, none
of us are going to be here. We're all going
to be someplace else, maybe a better place, maybe a
worse place. It may be sort of like New Jersey,
but someplace else. The same thing can be said of
rabbits and mice and dogs. But we're in a very
uncomfortable position with the only creatures, at least as far

(19:23):
as we know, though it may be true of dolphins
and whales and a few other mammals that have very
big brains who are able to contemplate our own end.
We know it's going to happen. The electric train goes
around and around, and it goes under and around the
tunnels and over the scenic mountains, but in the end
it always goes off the end of the table crash.

(19:46):
Stephen King, of course, all right, and here is a
specialist top ten suitable starter scary movies from the thirty
one for the younger people and for the newbie, in
no particular order. Oh Christ, he grinned to himself. If

(20:11):
this is the stuff adults have to think about, I
never want to grow up. Stephen King. It number one.
Something Wicked This Way Comes nineteen eighty three, pg. Disney
and Rape Brawberry. It's a dark, marvelous fairy tale. They're
very kind. The young need to learn about good, evil,

(20:34):
self reliance, fear, all the wonderful things that horror and
fairy teaches as we grow. Note there's this Mitchigore. At
one point, mister Dark squeezes his hands until they bleed
a little Two paper House nineteen eighty eight, rated, pg. Thirteen.
It's dark in the gritty British urban sense, darker than

(20:57):
the novel, but the novel it's based on. It's a
children slash young adult novel, dark fantasy with horrific elements.
If you can handle the horrific familial implications behind Labyrinth,
you should be okay. There's some parental menacing of the
main child protagonists and also some dream abuse of same.
Like I said, dark and grady. But if you think

(21:18):
about The Prince's Bride Labyrinth the Dark Crystal Tron, you've
watched creepier without registry. It Three Lady in White nineteen
eighty eight and rated are for no reason I can
figure out, except perhaps in overreaction to the subject matter
of child murder and insanity. I realize how crazy that

(21:39):
sentence says. Bear with me. There's absolutely no Gore. It's
really a dark fairy tale set around Halloween and a
local urban legend. It's very scary, yes, and menacing, but
quite manageable for a beginner. For younger viewers, this is
a good one, but be aware that it's set in
the past, so there's some blatant racism against the black janitor.

(22:03):
It may be a good teachable moment for your teen
four Rose Red two thousand and two. This is a
Stephen King TV mini series and it's quite good for
youth as well as newbies. No blood, and the scares
are actually fun as well as frightening. I have great
affection for this movie, even though I'm not really a
fan of the main child actress. The rest of the

(22:24):
movie is just that strong. But note the companion novel,
The Diary of Ellain Rimbauer in My Life at Rose Red,
is not for the younger audience. It's the backstory and
it's extremely sexual and sexually violent. Number five Return to
Oz Return to Oz nineteen eighty five Rady PG. I

(22:45):
love this movie, and I do say a belongs in
the short list, even though I think it might discard
my generation. It's menacing, it's quite frightening, and it's even surreal,
but it's lush with imagery and the frightening aspects are
again dark fairy tale and it's very much an empowerment
for Dorothy. Number six Summer of Fear nineteen seventy eight, rated, PG. Thirteen,

(23:09):
a Wes Craven TV movie based on a young Lois
Duncan young adult novel. Absolutely no gore, only the amount
of menace allowed on the ABC Movie of the Week
in the nineteen seventies. Read extremely little, excellent starter. The
fear is paranoia and not being believed. Number seven The

(23:30):
Watcher in the Woods. The Watcher in the Woods nineteen
eighty pg. Disney. Just like Summer of Fear, You'll be
absolutely fine. It's a little surreal, but in the best
fairy tale Disney Way and Betty Davis, Betty Davis, Betty Davis,
Betty Davis eight one hour Photo two thousand and two

(23:52):
are Bear with me, Robin Williams, man, I want a film.
I can't say it enough. The only gore is in
a dream sequence. William's character weeps blood, but the forewarn
viewer like yourself can see it coming. It's a disturbing film,
but I believe that scary films should upturn your apple cart.

(24:13):
But no gore, yucks at all. Just sometimes spent with
a disturbed mind. In't that nice. The good Son nineteen
ninety three are no gore on screen, but the disturbing
death of a dog occurs off screen and you do
have forewarning of it. And ten The Haunting nineteen sixty

(24:35):
three PG originally rated approved in nineteen sixty three. I
assume that it means for all audiences it's intense, especially
if you're Subwoffer's Rock, but absolutely no blood. All of
the above ratings are for American audiences our wonderful MPAA.

(24:57):
If you go to Internet Movie Database and click on
the NPA rating, you will get the ratings for all
over the world. When I checked, the rest of the
world seem to agree with us for these ten movies.
So good to go. I am like a small creature

(25:22):
swallowed whole by a monster, she thought, and the monster
fills my tiny little movements inside. Shirley Jackson The Haunting
of Hillhouse. All right, before I go this week, leaving
all this clean, non gooey carnage in my wake, I
would like to recommend another podcast see no Competition, Cupcakes

(25:44):
or Win when we all get one. This podcast is
Faculty of Horror, with one extremely well researched episode from
two Hossip with one extremely well researched episode from two
awesome horror writers and academics, Andrea Supasetti and Alexandra West,

(26:05):
episodes that are pertinent to my list today, and then
I interest you are in a list huh number twenty one.
What to expect when You're expecting Rosemary's Baby nineteen sixty eight,
Number twenty. It's very hard to get lost in America
these days. The Blair Witch Project nineteen ninety nine, episode sixteen,

(26:27):
Toil and Trouble, which is in film, episode eight, A
Friend of a Friend, Urban Legends in film, and a
bonus episode five, I Slay Therefore I Am the Buffy
Verse nineteen ninety seven to two thousand and three, and
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is excellent for someone who doesn't

(26:50):
let goo with their boo. Please note alex and Alexander
and Andrea. Please note Alexandria teach their horror classes with
spoilers a go go. Do not listen without first doing
your homework. Please kindly rate and review them as you
do me, and tell them I sent you. Most of

(27:12):
the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the nineteen fifties.
These days, most of the people you hear laughing, are dead,
Chuck Pellinook. Blood is really warm. It's like drinking hot chocolate,
but with more screaming. Ryan Miekhem zombie Heiku. I can't

(27:38):
shout out in time. I have to give a shout
out to new patrons and longtime friends Jill and Chase.
They've done so much for me by giving me my
mic and pop screen, but now they're also monthly patrons,
which they totally didn't have to do none of it.
You guys are the best friends anyone could ever have.
And your belief in me ki's me going. Love you.
And another shout out to Lorna Violet, who drew my

(28:01):
first fan art. Oh my god, you guys. It's a
digital remix with my logo and it is so sharp
and so cute. I cried, I did. It's on the
Facebook page so you can see it, and I'll add
it to this episode's entry so it has a super
wide audience. Lorna says, it's mine to you, so I
think it needs some stickers and mugs. Lorna, of course
you will be free.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
Dah.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
I love it and it means the world to me.
Thank you. Oh he love it. Wish I could hug it.
And one more thing. Thank you to all who clicked
through my sponsored link and sign up for the thirty
day trial getting their free book from Audible and that's
audibletrial dot com slash might be cupcakes. Thank you to
my patrons Snickers stickers and not Snickers stickers, and snail

(28:47):
mail coming soon, so send me your address if you
haven't already. And thank you to everyone who clicks through
an Amazon link on my side on my site and
buys the suggested book or buys anything at all. It's
no extra cost to you and it helps keep cupcakes
on the table. And speaking of cupcakes, I'm gonna sing

(29:08):
once more for my fans and friends Darius and Ball
Crossing using this messed up nurser where I'm written by
Jessica Mehu. I can't believe I'm doing this, but before
I do, see you guys next week. Be kind and
be safe and have fun with these movies. I'm gonna
write out all of these lists with their ratings and

(29:29):
years and links and all that stuff on the entry
for this episode should be up. The entry for this
episode should be up shortly, also with the link for
the music using this episode which is Pixie blinks the
hanted metronome. Okay, Darius and bowl you asked for this?

(29:49):
Sing a song of six pens, in which the players
die four and twenty Ravens and Edgar allan pie. When
the pie was broke and the Ravens couldn't sing, the
threat sack been sliced up in by Steven the new king.
King was in his riding house stifling a laugh, while
this king was in a tizzy of her bloody lovecraft.

(30:11):
When the dead maid got the garden for her rank
as royal whore, King Shovel made it double, and he
married never more