In the Spirit of the Staircase: House of Leaves: 81

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
This is Carla. Before we startepisode eighty one, I want to apologize.
You're going to hear some popping andclicking. I was very upset when
I went to edit and heard thispopping and clicking. I edited out as
much as I could, but someof it is embedded in my voice itself.

(00:21):
Apparently either my mic or my miccourt is dying after five years,
so it is time to buy newequipment pronto, which I will be doing.
Please bear with me this episode.I apologize. I hope you enjoy
it anyway. It's probably much moreminor than it feels like to me.

(00:41):
It's always worse when it's you,much more critical ear So please enjoy this
fifth episode in the House of Leafseries and my fifth anniversary episode. Happy
anniversary to us the already foreseen disillusionof the self and the spirit of the

(01:10):
Dark and the Spirit of the staircase. Johnny Truant's footnotes to the Nabison record.
I don't really think it's a hallwayat all. Poe from Amazed from
the Companion Haunted album. This isCarla, welcome back to There might be

(01:34):
cupcakes on my fifth anniversary who andwelcome back to my series I'm Mark z
Danielski's House of Leaf's horror novel.This is the fifth episode in the series.
The link to the podchaser list ofthe episodes, which I'm updating as
I go, is in the shownotes. You can stream the episodes directly
from that link in order. Whenlast we left Navvy, Karen, Chad

(01:59):
and Daisy, there was an uneasysilence in the family and the Explorers had
arrived with Billy Ruston, Holloway Robertsand his assistants Introverted Jed and Wide Open
Wax. You know, I lovenames, and there are no accidents in
this novel. Kirby Hook's name nicknamewhack isn't explained, but my first association

(02:22):
with that word is Vinyl records.I grew up with a jewbox in my
home and a dad that collected records, especially one hit Wonders. You know,
this story is all about fathers andcame about because of the death of
Mark and Annie's father, and everything'sconnected. I learned from Dad that fifties
and early sixties DJs, especially thisextremely influential Alan Freed called records wax stax,

(02:47):
a wax apropola nothing. Freed isoften credited for quinning the phrase rock
and roll. So wax is animportant medium for recording data for playback in
archiving, just like now vis videorecording of his family for documentary purposes,
and now of recording the mysterious changesto his house. Of course, it's

(03:07):
also the medium used to create candlesfor light to illuminate the darkness, both
practically of the hallway and allegorically ofknowledge fight back. The night always echoes
hallways, So when we left them, wax Jed, Nabby and Bill are
preparing equipment for the first exploration tothe five and a half minute hallway.

(03:30):
Section seven begins with a gun,Holloway's rifle, which is Nabby's bills and
Tom's introduction to him, a fortyeight year old conquistador with a large beard,
large boots, and a weatherbe threehundred magnum, standing in the front
yard of Ashtree Lane. Billy Rustonhad met Holloway at a symposium for explorers

(03:51):
four years earlier, where Holloway hadgiven a talk on solving problems caused by
limitations of current equipment. A weekafter Billy sent All away the expiration a
VHS tape, he arrived with Jedand Wax. Tarn commences flirting with the
men, bringing them beers and lettingthem lighter cigarettes. I want to apologize.

(04:12):
You're going to hear some knocking.My dog's Arlow and Toby have learned
how to rock my door and thereforeknock on it, and they would like
to come in, but they can'tcome in because Toby is a puppy,
and Toby and Arlow wrestle, sothere's gonna be some creepy sounding knocking throughout

(04:33):
this episode. I apologize because I'veput up a baby gate to keep them
further away from my door. Tobywill just holler the joys of having a
six months old in the house.Sorry, I guess I'll just add some
creepy ambiance. Sorry, welcome tomy world. If you got to my

(04:56):
TikTok, there's a video that's gotthe sound of the two of them wrestling.
Anyway, back to the Ashtrey Lane, Karen commences flirting with the men,
bringing them beers and letting them lether cigarettes. Navvy speaks his anger
with all of them into his higheight camera. Then we switch in theme
to one of Navvy's only vulnerable momentsother than anger. When he films himself

(05:16):
medicating his quote rotten feet, Bearwith me. This is important. I
know it's gross, but it's important. His feet are swollen and red,
and every tone ell is cracked,yellow and out of kilter. As Navy
says to the camera, quote perpetuatedby a nasty fungus. Two decades worth
of doctors finally ended up calling st. R. E. S s.

(05:40):
The fact that Navidson inserted this herespeaks to the stress and lack of intimacy
caused by Karen's infidelities. The themeof infidelity continues with Johnny's parents and with
Johnny's crushed thumper in the footnotes,this seems a strange thing for me to
mention, but toes come up asa motif. Keep mind the name of

(06:00):
the mental hospital, the Three Atticwhales Toe Institute. In Pelofina's first letter
to Johnny, dated June twenty eighth, nineteen eighty two. It's page three
in the collection and page eighty sevenin the novel, Pelofina writes Johnny in
her typical, too intimate manner abouthis foster family. Remember your mother loves
you despite her crumbling biology. Alsoremember, love inhabits more than just the

(06:27):
heart and mind. If need be, it can take shelter in a big
toe. Is this her terrible presciencean apparent connection to the house again,
if love can live in toes?Navy and Karen's lack of trust distance while
he was a famous photographer and herinfidelities during the same would then explain his
twenty years of damaged toes, adamaged foundation, damaged tree roots, and

(06:55):
she mentioned a big toe on thatsection of tape. Navy carefully tends to
the worst of the worst with medicationwhat he calls his light fantastic toe,
his big toe. Also, duringJohnny's frightening paranormal experience in the Tattoo Shops
basement where he falls down the stairs, he hurts himself very badly, but

(07:16):
when his bossony and their employees checkon him and ask if he's okay,
he says, I think I juststubbed my toe. One of the wonderful
folks in the House of Leaves subreddit, who have been helping me with the
most obscure references and my rusty gradschool research skills, mentioned today that they've
read that the idea of the housecame to Daniel Owski when he stubbed his

(07:39):
toe. Our feet are our rootsif you think of us as trees.
Look for bodily references, especially relatedto perception throughout the novel, especially those
related too, as I just said, sorry, perception much more subtle than
Zippano's blindness. For example, onethat the subreddit helped me with was the

(08:00):
zonules of Zin. I couldn't findit anywhere, and it turns out my
honor correct was forcing zen into zion, which I find a little eerie.
Everything is connected. I'm going toquote the helpful user with the ausome user
name. Keep user name right here. Quote zonules of zin or lens zonules
slash ciliary zonules slash zonular fibers,etc. Are part of the system of

(08:26):
the eye that controls accommodation. Stimulationor relaxation of accommodation causes the cillulary muscle
in the eye to contract or relax. This will either relax or tighten the
zonules that are attached to both thelens and the ciliary muscle, which in
turn will allow the lens that sitsbehind the iris to either thicken or flatten.

(08:46):
This changes the refractive power of thelens, which clears or focuses the
retinal image. The use of theword amurotic fits well with this theme,
as it's frequently used to describe visionloss, such as impatient with Amuros's fusac
few gack fe gack yes FuG ax aka transient vision loss. Also of

(09:11):
note, the zoniels of the eyecan be weakened or actually snap due to
trauma. And here's Johnny's relevant notes. This is the quote while before me,
my amuroutic guide laughs, actually tacklesis more like it lost in his
own litany of inside jokes, completelyout of his head, out of focus,
to zoniels of zen, among otherthings, having snapped long ago like

(09:37):
piano wires. It's unclear if he'sspeaking about the entity he encounters in the
tattoo shop, about Zapano for introducinghim to the Navidson record, or both.
I'm so grateful for these red editfolks, for they also reminded me
of one of Pelofino's intellectual references.When I didn't think I was going to
mention, but it fits. Shebrings up the Vedas and her let first

(10:00):
to Johnny. They are the oldestHindu scriptures written in Sanskrit, and they
have an emphasis on what is heardopposed to what is remembered more sensory input.
Think back to the growling that Nevisonheard when he got lost in the
five and a half minute hallway thanthe last episode. Think about the five

(10:20):
and a half minute hallway, whichdefies time, physics and scientific measurements.
Do you trust what you remember orwhat you perceive? Johnny made another bodily
reference to this section, so I'lljust insert it here as we're talking about
perception and physiology and censory input.Quote fictive tooth improv I thought that was

(10:43):
intriguing enough to save and mention.So what is called expiration number one begins
from the living room in ash TreeLane using fishing line like the Myth of
Rin and the Labyrinth Deadallas was hiredby the King of Minos to build the
labyrinth to house the monster. Sorry, that's Toby, he can hear Mamma's

(11:07):
voice. Roy Didelus was hired bythe King of Minos to build the labyrinth
to house the monster, the Minatar, and he had outsmarted himself building a
labyrinth. He literally painted himself intoa corner that Dallas could barely escape it
himself. Arianne, known as bythe Romans as Prosperina, was put in

(11:28):
charge of the labyrinth by her fatherKing Minos, were youths or sacrificed to
her monstrous half brother, the Minatar, for either Poseidon, the god of
the Sea, or Anthena, thegoddess of wisdom, depending on the source
of the myth. One year thehandsome Thesis was one of the fourteen youths,
seven girls, and seven boys tobe sacrificed. Arianne defied her father

(11:52):
so many father themes here to savetheis by giving him a sword and a
ball of thread so he could slaythe monster then find his way back out
of the maze. The story isdepicted in Homer's Odyssey, and as I
say, everything is connected. Theetymology of the Greek word used for r
N string is clue c L eW, which has our source for the

(12:16):
English word clue. I love thatso much. I geeked out really hard
when I found that out. Soour explorers gather their equipment for their first
exploration. Their clue two miles oftheir fishing line and lights. Jed Wax
and Holloway hear the growling as well. The growling Navvy heard when they return

(12:41):
on tape. We watch everyone watchtheir High eight exploration tapes, and we
see them and possibly turn left andleft and left and left again. When
they run out of line, outof clues, they film a ceiling at
least two hundred feet above them,an opposing at least fifteen hundred feet away.

(13:03):
The walls continue to shift expiration tothe next day. Now four spools
of fishing line eight miles worth,plus flares, plus neon markers for riding
on walls and floors this last eighthours. The three five the staircase two

(13:24):
hundred feet plus in diameter, whichspirals down into nothingness. Sit with that
distance a moment and think back towhat's needed for an echo that we talked
about in episode eighty. Two hundredfeet is more than half the length of
a football field. Also, Idon't know if this is a cheeky clue

(13:46):
left for the Intrepid, but Idid the math and two hundred feet is
sixty six point six six six sixseven yards the yardage of the beasts.
I love it. The team dropsflares down the staircase and do not hear

(14:07):
them hit the bottom too vast tohear the echo. Because the sheer magnitude
of the hallway and its darkness,the camera is struggling to capture its faithfully.
Quote the camera is impotent within thehouse and quote in order to have
a third dimension, depth cues arerequire only knowledge illuminates that bottomless place,

(14:28):
disclosing the deep ultimately absent in allthe tapes, and still these strange cart
divisites. Interesting choice of phrase.A cart divisite is a Victorian custom.
It's a business card like card withone's name engraped upon it that you would
leave on a silver tray, eitherinside the front door or with a servant
if the person you'd come to seewe're not available, to let them know

(14:52):
you'd been there. It's like thenavesin record tapes are their messages of visitation
to the house. Then Eerie thought, I'll pause here and recommend media,
as I always do. If you'reenjoying this agoraphobic horror, I have more
for you. I am agoraphobic.It's in the sense that I fear being

(15:15):
too far from safety, and Ithink that comes with being chronically ill and
disabled. I'm doing the maths onthese explorations. Number two is eight hours.
That means they went four hours in, so there were four hours away
from Bill, Tom, Karen andNavy and First Aid and the rest of
the world. And the walls mayhave kept changing, which is a lyric

(15:37):
and haunted one of the songs onPoe's albums. The movies and books that
have allowed me to push the samebuttons safely have been The Descent one and
two, which your brilliant click caveexploring horror spelunking just frightens me so much.
The first one has an all femalecast which is just fabulous. Twenty

(16:00):
only ones the Deep House, whichis an underwater haunted house. Trust me,
I know that sounds weird, butone of the last shots had me
shook for a little while. AnHG. Wells classic Journey to the Center
of the Earth narrated by the sublimeTim Curry. Tim Curry can narrate an
audio book. Let me tell you. You can get it and keep it

(16:22):
for free with a free trial ofAudible by using the Audible link in the
show notes. I listened to thisin the car while working while driving from
work site to work site with thesun nice sunlit day, and I was
near panicking too in the math.No, don't go one one more day
inward, that's another day of supplies. You don't have ill. No,
now they're in the dark. I'mnot alway going to have to pull the

(16:45):
car over. I'm being honest.I'm alttle embarrassed by that, but it's
true. And the last one,of course, which I've mentioned in this
series before, is the blair Witchproject. Not being able to touch trust.
Time and physics is terif fining tome, and so I love the
blair Witch universe. All of theseare linked in the show notes. So

(17:06):
I digress as I've been digressing forfive years now. My mind is always
making connections, always never stops.It's why a podcast. If you're new
here, welcome to my mind.Always that goes hallways. So if the
three are going into the five anda half minute hallway again for exploration number

(17:26):
three, they are gone for twentyhours this time, and a blair Witch
event happens, either the house isgrowing or time has slipped. They spend
seven hours walking down the spiral staircaseand it takes them eleven hours to return.

(17:48):
Everyone is behaving out of character Tomand Billy are still crashing at the
house even though life and responsibilities callthe September semester has started. Is being
clinging and picking at scabs on herwrists. Chad is avoiding the house and
gets into a fight at school.Karen has become obsessed with punctual with putting

(18:10):
things in the house in just theright place in order to claim order,
and then she discovers that compasses donot work inside the house. Expiration uber
four, the three are planning togo inside for five nights. This time,
I wouldn't Holloway takes his rifle forthe first time, worried about the

(18:34):
growling. Communication has become problem.Transmission into the hallway is extremely difficult and
getting worse. Communication is breaking downin other ways. When Navy reviews the
tapes and we end section seven,he sees Karen kiss someone, but we
are told forebodingly that soon that willnot matter because the house. Backtracking to

(18:59):
Johnny's footnote surround the time of theExpirations, we come to a new song
from post Haunted album Hey Pretty,and this is the last song on the
album, the Hey Pretty Drive bytwo thousand and one mix. There are
two versions of Hey Pretty on thealbum, The originalist track ten. This
remix is track eighteen. Post singsand Mark Reads parted Johnny's footnote here.

(19:19):
Over the music, Johnny meets agirl named Kirie and has an intense,
dangerous and impersonal sexual counter with herover at looking La in her car.
The quote ending the interlude in thesong that hearkens back to Johnny's mother's graphomania,
especially her use of Old English,is two bad. Dark languages rarely

(19:41):
survive. The footnote starts on pageeighty seven. In the novel, Johnny
actually hooked up with Kirie because hetold Lude he needed a German translator for
the nabtson record. If the namesounds familiar, Kirie is Greek for Lord.
In the Book of Common Prayer I'mEpiscopan, there's a prayer called the

(20:02):
carry Elaison used in services carry AlaisonCHRISTI Elaison Kirylaison Lord, have mercy,
Christ, have mercy, Lord,have mercy. No coincidences in this novel,
especially with that references dark languages.Here's the original version's lyrics. Nos
references to what we've been discussing allalong. Well, it's three am.

(20:26):
I'm out here, drive in againthrough the wicked, winding streets of my
world. I take a wrong turn, break it, but I'm too far
gone. I've got a siren onmy tail, and that's not the fine
I'm looking for. I see astairway, so I follow it down into
the belly of a whale, wheremy secrets echo all around. You know
me now, But to do betterthan that, you've got to follow me.

(20:49):
Boy. I'm trying to show youwhere I'm at. Hey, pretty,
don't you want to take a ridewith me through my world? Hey
pretty, don't you want to kickand slide with me through my world?
World? Well, I've got amind through a full of wicked designs.
I've got a NonStop hole in myhead imagination. I can't forget. I'm
a sole architect. I built theshadows here, I built the growl and

(21:11):
the voice I fear. You knowme now, But to do better than
that, you've got to follow me. Boy, I'm trying to show you
where I'm at. Hey, pretty, don't you want to take a ride
with me through my world? Hey? Pretty? Don't you want to kick
and slide with me through my world? Hey? Pretty, My pretty baby,
rocket through my world. Hey,now, can't you feel me longing?

(21:33):
Hey? Now me, you getthe gist of the song. Now,
hey, pretty, don't you wantto take a ride with me?
Since we're driving, let's take asharp left back to the whale's toe.
As I said in episode eighty,Rooms Full of Indistinguishable Remains, I'm not
going to spoil the three Attic WhalesterLetters for you. I'm taking the same
tactic as I'm taking with a novel, talking through it and exploring it,

(21:56):
believing so much for you to discover. Right now, I'm gonna look at
the standalone book of letters compared tothe letters compiled by either the editor or
Johnny, it's unclear to me anappendix two e Okay, here we go.
This collection of letters is the sameas the appendix, with eleven additional
letters added. We learned from thiscollection that Pelofena's letters were rescued when the

(22:21):
Three Attic Walestoe Institute closed by WaldonD. Wertha. We learned from this
collection that Pelofena's letters were rescued whenthe three Attic Walestoe Institute closed by Waldon
D. Wertha. The former recordsdirector of the Institute now living in Charlottesville,
where Billy Ruston lives and works atthe University of Virginia. The collection

(22:44):
in his introduction to it, isdated August six, two thousand. Here
are the eleven additional letters that arenot included in Appendix two E, and
a little detail about each. OneMarch ninth, nineteen eighty three, The
first psychotic letter and the first cybertextletter aka the first letter written argotically.

(23:06):
Two June twenty fourth, nineteen eightyfour, grandiose declarations for Johnny's birthday and
creepy flirting with him. Three Novembersixth, nineteen eighty four. Quote my
frayed brain weave. Four November ninth, nineteen eighty five psychotic Energotic was a
fascinating quote, perhaps harkening back tothe song Spanish Doll. Do you dream

(23:32):
of Spain and wrap your designs andshades of red? Five March seventeenth,
nineteen eighty six quote void to thedistant. Clear to me from these last
two letters that Johnny's mother is insome way in love with him. Six
January sixth, nineteen eighty seven.Johnny is nothing without her. This letter

(23:56):
is ergodic, cybertext and signed pinstead of mommy. Seven February fourteenth,
nineteen eighty eight, or godic cybertechtShe draws a corridor with question marks.
You can see this one on thepodcast Instagram. There might be cupcakes and
it's on page fifty five of thecollection. Eight February twenty third, nineteen

(24:18):
eighty eight, she speaks of ahaunted home, art of Chokes and the
Sea again nine March eighteenth, nineteeneighty eight. To me, this reads
like a spell to bind a liarfrom lying any further. It reminds me
of the white ribbon binding spell fromthe Craft. It's on page fifty seven

(24:40):
of the collection. Ten December twentythird, nineteen eighty eight. A letter
of intense self pity You're all Ihave with bail, threats of suicide.
Eleven December twenty fourth, nineteen eightyeight. She talks about blindness, Becausapano,
about being a tree, and it'sone of the only letters the entire

(25:02):
collection that she did not sign atall. The dates of all the letters
go from July twenty eighth, nineteeneighty two, one year after her husband
and Johnny's father to death, toMay third, nineteen eighty nine. Before
I continue with this compendium, Iwant to use this to update my compiled
timeline from episode eighty. Here weGo seventeen twenty. Ashtree Lane is quote

(25:26):
unquote supposedly built in this year,according to the realtor. Nineteen eighty one.
Again, according to the realtor,a family wanted to build an L
extension to enlarge the house. Thenthey moved out because they wanted something much
smaller. July nineteen eighty one.Johnny's father died in a truck accident.
July twenty eighth, nineteen eighty two, Johnny's mother of Pelopina's first letter from

(25:51):
three attic Wellstowe Institute to Johnny Marchninth, nineteen eighty three. The first
psychotic letter from Pelopina to Johnny andthe first cybertext letter aka the first letter
written or gootically June twenty fourth,nineteen eighty four and November sixth, nineteen
eighty four. Two extra disturbed lettersfrom Pelofina November ninth, nineteen eighty five.

(26:15):
Pelofina letter standing quote do you dreamof Spain? March seventeen, nineteen
eighty six, Void to the distantletter January sixth, nineteen eighty seven.
Johnny is nothing without her February fourteenth, nineteen eighty eight. A Corridor made
of question marks February twenty third,nineteen eighty eight. A haunted home,

(26:38):
artichokes in the Sea. March eighteenth, nineteen eighty eight. A spell to
bind a liar. December twenty third, nineteen eighty eight. You're all I
have with bailed threats of suicide.December twenty fourth, nineteen eighty eight.
Talks about blindness and about being atree. May third, nineteen eighty nine.

(27:03):
Her last letter to Johnny May fourth, nineteen eighty nine. Pelofina's death.
May fifth, nineteen eighty nine.Letter from Walestowe's director telling Johnny of
Pelofina's death. September nineteen eighty nine. Johnny retrieved one piece of jewels of
Pelofinas from Wales's Toe Institute. Octoberthirty first, nineteen ninety eight. Johnny's

(27:26):
introduction to the Navidson Record. Hefound it in Zappono's apartment. April nineteen
ninety Will begins recording documentary video tapesof his family and his house. The
beginning of his documentary project. Junenineteen ninety, the date of the two
expiration video tapes A and B.June twenty first is Johnny's birthday, nineteen

(27:48):
ninety three. Three years later,Merrimax purchased the two expiration video tapes and
all of Navidson's documentary tapes, compiledthem and put them out as the movie
The Navidson Record same year. Thethree Attic Walestoe Institute closed August six,
two thousand, the date of Waltond Wythra's compilation of Pelopina's letters with eleven

(28:11):
extra letters included. So who wasWalden? You know why his name was
chosen? Waldon Pale was a chiefMassachusetts, chosen by philosopher and writer Henry
david Throw to get closer to nature, closer to himself and to fine peace.
Walden and Pelopina's one important conversation tookplace in nature on the pretty grounds

(28:33):
of the three Attic Walestoe Institute.Waldon d Wythra has deep and complex feelings
about Pelopina, even though he admitshe only spoke to her four times in
total. Remember, he was nota mental health and professional, but only
in charge of records management. Iassume in light of his intense feelings of
attachment to her, that he abusedhis position and read her confidential files.

(28:56):
Boundaries are a major theme in Houseof An example of this is his dedication
to her of the compilation of herletters in French, le' jol san davont
demia. Excuse my pronunciation quote thedays go away, you stay. Note
he used the informal and affectionate versionof you in French too, rather than

(29:19):
boo. It's so odd this connectionbetween a records clerk, a man who
organizes and works with facts, anda floridly psychotic woman who is obsessed with
her son, has no friends andtalks about being a tree. Was he
seduced by her words, by herpretentious Graphomania Waldo was at the institute for

(29:40):
three years of Pelopina stay and fouryears after she died. As I said,
they only spoke four times in total. From what I know in my
time as a therapist and a mentalhealth case manager, they had really no
appropriate reason to speak at all.His reason for archiving and publishing her letters
is given his quote the effects ofthe mad considered as best furniture. He

(30:02):
lamented that the lives of the hospitalizedmentally i'll get lost to become ephemera,
which is also a theme of Houseof Leaves. I'm not going to go
through all the Pelopina's hypergraphic slash pretentiousliterary language references because I want to leave
many of them for you to discoverand look up for yourself. I will
list French, Spanish, Latin,and Old English translations on the website entry

(30:23):
for this episode as a resource.Again, shout out to the House of
Leaves subreddit for the Old English translations, which I'll approach in a moment.
Gold continues to be mentioned and playedwith his puns and plays on echoes and
different languages since it sounds similar.For example, in Italian and Spanah.
Pelofino refers to Johnny as Bambino thatat child from Gold, which is an

(30:48):
echo of a common phrase child fromGod. By the bye, I looked
up the meaning of the name Johnbecause of course I did, and it
means God is gracious. He wasgolden to her, but in the most
inappropriate manner. She speaks of himto him as if his very poor shine.
And he's the only person in herlife other than the director of the

(31:08):
Institute an Walden, but he's neverspoken of in her letters at all oddly
enough, Pelophina speaks of Johnny's lettersand visits as if they are in love.
She fuses of one letter that itmade her feel like a schoolgirl inn
thoughts you like I said, I'mnot going to go through all of Pelophena's

(31:30):
graphemenic redverss, but this one struckme. Given her apparent prescience at the
house on ash Tree Lane, shementioned Clytemestra, the wife of Agamemnon,
sister of Helen of Troy. Clytemestramurdered Agamemnon and Cassandra, and that's what
caught my eye. Cassandra and Greekmythology was known as the teller of the

(31:52):
future who was not believed to thedetriment of all. Clydetemestra was eventually killed
by her son orestres her son byAgamemnon. These stories are told in our
pronunciation Accolesses or Orto Estra, OraSta, that's it, or Sta and

(32:16):
Euripides, I, Pinegina and Alice, and in that unrelated good stuff that
you love me For the two thousandand seven horror movie The Killer of a
Sacred Deer starring Nicole Kidman and ColinFirth was based upon that Euridippides play,
which I'm not going to try torepronounce. Five years of delightful digressions and

(32:40):
that horror movie is something to watch. Let me tell you it's it's definitely
a one time or what did Ijust see that was really interesting? Back
to Pelopina and her disturbing digressions,let's get away from mine. Well,
then, the information director that compiledPelopina's letters describe an interaction with her that
could be considered highly inappropriate given hisjob. They basically had a small picnic

(33:06):
on the grounds of the mental institution. Of the four times that they spoke.
Filipina, after grilling him about detailsof his life, asked him about
the words he lived by. Hetold her it was Galileo's truth, as
all as he says, especially inthe face of adversity. She profusely agreed,
even though she does play with thetruth. And yet that is not

(33:29):
what Walden said to her in Latin. What he said was and yet it
moves, which is what Galileo supposedlysaid when forced to recants his statement that
the earth rotates around the sun bythe church. And yet the house moves,
is there still truth? In oneletter to his mother, Johnny had
referred to himself as a changeling andchangeling in fairy law as a child that

(33:53):
the fake exchanged for another in infancy. So he was trying to express how
out of place he feels his family, and maybe explicitly with his mother.
Her only response to this serious statementis to praise his vocabulary and say that
his father would not have understood thatword, completely, dismissing his feelings and

(34:15):
demeaning his father in the process.Two interestingly, two archaic meanings of the
word changeling are turncoat and imbecile.I just want to put a pin in
that, with Johnny calling himself atraitor to his families, calling himself stupid
because he was struggling with school,and taunting his mother's grandiosity and graphomania with

(34:35):
this use of the word, withthat a return to a deliberate typo that
cursed twice in the novel So FarPisces for Torn to pieces. It showed
up in the story of Echo andPan within the main story, and was
in Pelopina's letters September seventh, nineteeneighty four. Because both references so far
returned to women. Refer to womenresearch Pisces women, Here we go.

(35:00):
Pisces is a water sign, whichis important given whales and Pelofina's repeated references
to the sea. Pisces women areextremely emotional and get stuck in bad moods.
They dwell in sadness. Once they'resad, they hold grudges. They
rarely live in the present, dwellingon the past or dreaming about the future.

(35:20):
They would rather live in a dreamworld than the real world. They're
quite creative and nurturing. Their lovedones are everything to them. Pisces women
love hard and want to spend everymoment with their loved one. They're extremely
sensitive and if you're dating them,you might need to check within in with
them every single day or they're worryPlease don't be offended, Pisces listeners.

(35:42):
I'm a Pisces moon myself and Ipicked the specific items that sounded the most
like echo and Pelofina. Now weturn to the pin I left last episode.
The engineer Billy Restin's calling the housechanging shape and growing a goddamn spatial
rate. This echoes something from Pelofina'sletters, something she wrote in code for

(36:05):
Johnny. The letter is dated Mayeighth, nineteen eighty seven, and I'm
not going to read it for youbecause I want to leave the code for
you to decipher. It's simple,it's the first letter of each word.
I do want to point out thatthere's a second code hidden within the first.
The Pelofina does not tell Johnny todecode. Look at the random capital

(36:29):
letters within words and write them out. They spell something as well. Have
fun. I will tell you thatwithin this letter, Pelofina claims, for
this time only in all your letters, that staff of the Whale Stone are
raping her. Interestingly, in thisletter she uses the phrase bag of bones.

(36:52):
I did check, and Stephen King'sBag of Bones was published in nineteen
ninety eight, two years before thisnovel wash, So this may be the
reference to that novel about a hauntedhouse and secrets underwater. We shall see
one more of Pelopina's grandiose illusions fornow, well two actually twice. She

(37:15):
writes to Johnny, her teenage son, who is struggling with abusive foster parents
in new schools and an overbearing motherand the death of his father in Old
English. I bet that made himfeel mothered and taken care of and nurtured.
I was able to translate the Frenchand the Spanish and the Latin.
Thank you duo lingo you cute littlegreen now, but I was completely stumped

(37:38):
by the old English. So Iturned to the kind folks at the House
of Leaves Subpreddit. I got aresponse within minutes from the wonderful user Cacti
Blossom December twenty fourth, nineteen eightythree is a quote from the poem The
seafarer quote great is the fear ofthe Lord before which the world stands still,

(38:04):
a reference to time slippage. Perhapsthe context is that Pellafina is praising
Johnny for getting fights at school,calling him a Viking warrior. Elsewhere,
she tells him not to fight becauseshe is anything if not a consistent,
healthy parent. The translation I thenfound online for this and the other poem
is from Rutger's University by doctor AaronHofstetter, which is a name kin to

(38:29):
my married name Hofsteller. Synchronicities andTwilight Language as teams with his novel.
I won't read the whole thing,but some of it is definitely of note,
especially how the sea keeps coming uppush measuring whales and pushed measuring whales
and relationships and trusting people. Iwon't read the whole thing, but some

(38:51):
of it is definitely of note,especially how the sea keeps coming up plush
measuring whales and relationships and trusting people. Quote. I can relate the reality
a song about myself. Go onabout the going, How I untolsometimes often
endured desperate days. Bitter breast careshave I abided, explored in a boat,

(39:13):
many sorrowful places, the terrible tossingof waves, where the narrow night
watch often seized me at the stemof the ship when it crashes upon the
cliffs, oppressed by chills, Weremy feet bound up by frost with cold
chains, when the sorrow's side hotabout the heart, hunger tearing within the
sea wearied mind. He does notknow this fact, which dwells most merrily

(39:36):
on dry land. How I,wretchedly sorrowful, lived a winter on the
ice cold sea, upon the tracksof exile, deprived of friendly kinsman,
No sheltering kin's folk could comfort thisimpoper spirit. Therefore they come crashing now.
The thoughts of my heart whether Ishould test out the profound streams the
tossing of salty waves, my mind'sdesire, reminding me at every moment my

(40:00):
spirit to outventure, that I shouldseek the homes of strange peoples far from
here. Therefore, now my minddeparts outside its thought locks my heart's inside
with the ocean tide across the whale'sdomain, departing broadly the corners of the
earth. It comes to me gluttonousand greedy, the lone winged kens wetting

(40:20):
the heart without warning along on tothe deadly way along the surface of the
waters. Nor can the flesh home, when the life is lost, swallow
down sweetness, nor suffer sorrow,nor stir its hands, nor think with
its mind. Although one's brother maywish to strew the grave with gold,
for its sibling to bury beside thedead many treasures that he would wish him

(40:42):
to have, that gold cannot comforthim the soul filled with sins which he
had hid before, Now while hewas alive from the terror of God Mighty
is the fear of the measurer.Therefore the earth shall be changed. He
established the unrelenting ground, the cornersof the earth and over heaven. Foolish
is he who dreads not the Lordhis death come unexpected. Blessed is he

(41:05):
who lives humbly. His reward comesin heaven the measurer and dalls the heart
in him because he believes in itspower. Man musteer a strong mind and
hold it firmly, assured among humanity, clean in his ways. Outcomes are
stronger the measurer mighty still than thethoughts of any man. Let us consider
where we shall possess our home,and then think about how we may come

(41:27):
there again. And then we shallstrive also so that we may be allowed
to do so into these internal beitudes. The second is from the letter dated
September seventh, nineteen eighty four.The quote is from the poem The Battle
of Maldon. To quote Cactive Blossom. There are a couple of rough translations
out there, though they carry thesame sentiment. I wrote it as courage

(41:50):
must be the firmer heart, thebolder spirit, the greater the more are
force diminishes. But I also foundit translated as thought shall be harder heart,
the keener mood, the more asare my lessons. This is a
ballad of a Viking battle. Inthis letter, she tells him not to
fight, and yet quotes from thisbattle, Pelafina is confounding and exhausting.

(42:15):
A song that I mentioned but didn'texplore last episode is Spanish Doll track fourteen
on Post Haunted album. I didread the lyrics in episode eighty. Not
only does Pelafina repeatedly mentioned a Spanishdoll in an attic, other phrases in
this song are repeated in her letters, such as why did you leave me
here? And You'll always be herewith me the last stances the song sound

(42:37):
like both Pelafina and Karen both alsomeaty, inappropriately hyper flirtatious and controlling.
Both practice their smile in a mirroras a child, as I mentioned in
the last episode. Then there's fiveand a half minute Hallway track eight.
I also read those lyrics in thelast episode. It sounds to me like

(42:58):
it is both written in Karen andPella FINA's book point of view. Plus
it speaks of letters unwritten, whichrefuses Pellafina. The reasons I believe this
song is in their voices are controlissues, intimacy issues, distance as a
metaphor communication including echoes, time,which goes back to the idea of animals
versus humans in the house. Thereference to letters unwritten refers to both a

(43:22):
note in the beginning of the WhaleStone Letters collection that some of Pelofina's letters
may never have been sent to Johnny, which is unclear. Also, we
see in her letters that she repeatedlybecame confused about Johnny's letters. Pelofina also
made several references, as I've saidbefore, to Halways in her letters to
Johnny. Then we returned to expirationB again. Check when the album is

(43:46):
short. Phone called to mother announcingfather's death and asking for release of grudges.
Remember what I said about Pissey's women. Now we know that Pelofina was
notified of Johnny's father's death while hospitalizedin Wales's toe. The grudge can refer
to why she's committed. I'll leavethat for you to discover. Now we
have to two more songs that havecome up in our reading, Dear Johnny

(44:08):
and Lemon Merangue. Dear Johnny istrack eleven and is quite short. The
lyrics are as follows, Johnny,Dear, don't be afraid. I will
keep your secrets safe. Bring meto the blind man who lost you in
his House of Blue. Pelofina referencesblindness in her letters. And remember what
I said earlier about all the biologicalreferences in this novel to perception and senses.

(44:31):
Of course, the direct reference isZabano. The creepy inference is that
Pelofina had pressing its about Zapano.We know from my timeline that she died
before Johnny was introduced. In anadvisive record as well, Johnny keeps a
lot of secrets that aren't technically necessary. So much detail obscured from his father's
obituary, even the date of publicationin the newspaper. As for the House

(44:53):
of Blue, remember back to thefirst episode sixty eight when I talked about
all the different of the novel.In all color editions of the novel,
every single time the word house appears, it's blue. One more song from
Poe's album is referenced so far inOur House to Leave's Journey lemon Meringue,
Tract thirteen. Here are the lyrics. Hold on you gotta wait just a

(45:15):
minute. See the cookie jar.I've got my hand caught in it.
Just let me try to explain.You know, I've been a good girl,
but I've hit a limit. Iknow there's not a lot of logic
in it, But my life's beenfeeling to me like lemon. Sometimes it
tastes so bitter like lemon. Igotta make it sweeter. Stop right there
before I get bitter. There's gottabe a way to make it sweeter a

(45:37):
little more like lemon meringue. Sothe other day, well, I found
me a lover, had a littlehustle under the covers. It was delicious
to me. Can't you see methere daydreaming of our future, painted such
a pretty picture. But my princehe never got back to me. Like
lemon, sometimes it taste so bitterlike lemon, I just gotta make it

(45:58):
sweeter. Stop right there before Iget bitter. There's got to be a
way to make it sweeter a littlemore like lemon merangue. And then Mark
and Annie's father speaking. It isNovember six and we are in Madrid,
Spain. It is a very specialday, and to celebrate it, Annie
will sing a song. Now Iknow there are no coincidences in this novel,
So I check the date November sixthagainst the eleven omitted letters and the

(46:22):
whale stone letters, and there isone November sixth letter, nineteen eighty four.
It's the echo rooms upon Room's letterthat I use for the title of
episode eighty everything is connected. InPelopina's November seventh, nineteen eighty two letter,
Pelofini uses lemon merangue pies, orreference to mothering and being mothered,

(46:45):
and she continues to mention lemons inher letters, talking about wanting lemons and
art of chokes over and over toJohnny and don't forget lemons grown trees.
Finally, I hear Karen in thesexual dalliance Stanta, I want to mention
and two more things about Pelopina's letters. She makes a mention at Victoria Lucas.

(47:05):
That was Sylvia plas Pen name forthe Bell Jar, her fictionalized autobiography
about her mental illness and hospitalization.There's also a lovely pun in the letter
notifying Johnny of Pelopina's death. Thedirector mistypes her last name Lafevre. I
don't think I'm pronouncing that right.It's l I e v r e as

(47:25):
libra, which is French for abook. I love that. I leave
you this time with Johnny's words ofwarning and fear about the Navidson record at
the end of section six, quoteI'm afraid it is hungry, it is
immortal, worse, it knows nothingof whom. Thank you for continuing this

(47:54):
journey into the House of Leash universewith me, and thank you for continuing
this five year journe with me onthis my five year anniversary. In April
twenty eighth, twenty seventeen, Ipublished my first episode, Poe and Carlin
Cupcakes, Nice to meet You.I was so nervous that I actually wrote
my brief pauses into the script thatI didn't talked too fast. I really

(48:16):
did, which I know I dowhen I'm anxious. I really did.
My first scrip ted pause, briefpause, very brief pause written, and
I told my story, explained thestory of Cupcake, and read some Poe
for you for the first time inmany and I thank you for with every
download and every share in comment onsocial media, my confidence grew and my

(48:36):
desire to tell stories and share mywriting was encouraged even further. I'm humbled
by my audience's attention and love.Thank you, Thank you, five years
worth of thank yous. I've outlinedmy celebratory plans for this anniversary and detailed
for paid sub Stack and Patron subscribersBasically, I'm going to revisit my first

(48:57):
five years worth of episodes in orderas appropriate and update them. So as
example, for first, a freshof my first episode to reintroduce everybody and
update to who I am and whowhat the podcast is. And then episode
two perhaps more of my Bonnie mommystory of that novel and accompany update I'll
want Casey, Anthony or family havebeen up to since twenty seventeen and so

(49:22):
on. This should be a funexpiration in celebration as well. I'll be
continuing this House to Leave series andbeginning my deep dive series into exploring Buffy
the Vampire Slayer as an ounce onmy sub stack. The link to my
sub stack is in my show notes. Please join my substack. Join Patreon
for ad free episodes and PDFs ofepisode scripts and more, and check out

(49:45):
my new free horror discussion and promotionforum at there Might Be Cupcakes dot com
slash horror. I have a lotof horror author friends that are going to
join once convention and besigning seasons settlesdown and they can sit in front of
their computers again. So happy anniversaryto there Might Be Cupcakes, to me
and to all of us. Pleasestay with me for the next five years

(50:06):
for more reading, storytelling, andfinding cupcakes. Today feels like a birthday
of sorts for me. I'm gonnago buy myself a new podcast shirt from
Society six once I'm all done withthis episode, just for the celebration of
it. One more fun thing formy anniversary. On these sections of House
of Leaves and one of Zupono's footnoteson page ninety one, there's a shout

(50:27):
out to my grad school alma mater, Boston University. Go Boston Charriers.
It's the little things. I loveyou all. Happy anniversary one

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