Library Pirates (with Princess Jones Curtis): 88

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
So Hi, this is Carla,and welcome back to there might be cupcakes
and welcome princess. Finally, yeah, I'm so happy to be here.
Yes, I never thought it stealsgonna happen. So tell my audience all

(00:20):
about all your stuff. Well,guys, I am I just want to
say about podcasters, but no I'mnot. I'm a person with a podcast.
That's who I am, and reallythat's really what I am. I'm
a person with a podcast. AndI have like channeled all my love of

(00:41):
like looking back at nostalgic reality TVand sometimes scripted TV shows into this podcast
called Bi Pumpkin, And there Iget to just talk about TV. Something
I loved growing up, I loveright now and I just get to be
very excited. I think the lastpodcast I did, I was talking about

(01:02):
my so called life. This wason the Patreon. I was talking about
my so called life, but Istarted, like I really listened to it.
The joy in my voice is Idescribe the show my two dads to
the audience I am as the joyin my voice, I talk about Paul
Riser. But that's it. That'swhat I get to the channel, all

(01:27):
that energy, all that look backenergy, into this podcast that comes out
once a week and then there's aPatreon episode on Thursdays. Well, you
know, my theory about my socalled life is that the band thirty seconds
to Mars is simply Jordan Catalanos firstand Embryos all grown up. That's that's

(01:52):
my head cannon, and I'm stickingto it. It makes that, you
know what, It's now mine too. Oh and I'm telling before we get
started on books, Um, whyyour podcast is called Bi Pumpkin. Oh,
so my podcast is called that becauseI believe that modern reality TV can

(02:15):
draw a straight line. From TiffanyNew York Collard and one of from Flavor
of Love obviously to tell you andone of her one of her most famous
lines is when a girl named Pumpkinspits in her face because she's getting kicked
off and New York tries to beather up, and then the security is

(02:38):
making her productions Mayer and leaves.She just yells Bi Pompkin, bye bye,
I'll be here, my man,bye. And I just wanted to
like, like she's the patron saintof the podcast. I think it's the
first reality TV show moment that theyshowed again and again in slow motion.
That's true. That's true. Theydid show it that. I mean,

(03:00):
we saw that spit happen a milliontimes. But luky that changed and so
like yeah and so like start likeNew York's um brought something to reality TV
that we just didn't have. Ithink Meanie Leaks draws directly from her,
and the leaks is the first Householdhousewife um Bastin. He was the richest,

(03:23):
she was the most successful at somepoint. But Meanie was the first
one that ever showed up in everyEveryone kN who the fuck Meani was?
Everybody was saying bloop every and shecrossed over, Remember she crossed over.
She was in all those Ryan Murphythings. Although I want to know what
the fuck she did to Rhyan Murphythat made him so casting, Like what

(03:46):
did she do to Rhyme Murphy?He gets the same people every time,
you know. So, I mean, she's she's had an amazing downfall.
But but Meanie is the is theis the the the person that holds up
the Real Housewives Franchi gise and shewas the one that make that our our

(04:09):
our default reality TV for for women. And I mean she's she built the
house of Bravo honest and yeah andso like, and that traces back to
New York and New York. Imean, Flavor of Love was a cultural
moment, you know. I rememberwhen the Bravo channel showed like Eugene O'Neill

(04:30):
plays, you know, like film. That's why it was called Yes mean
too, I remember that too,and it just I mean, I think
what happened is VH one realized theycan make a lot of fucking money.
Well via a common general they can. They can make a lot of money

(04:54):
doing like these shows are so cheapto produce. You rent what you rent,
uh a mansion or a large ormake mansion for what a month?
Audition some thirsty people and then youjust dry flavor flavor there and what do
you You're spending money on catering andlights. It's so fucking cheap. This

(05:16):
is not Game of Thrones, guys. It's it's cost three pennies to make
and then you can play it forever. You can spend people off over and
over to other shows. I loveNew York, Daisy of Love. Uh,
you know chance, what was thereal chance of love? Chance?
And and real rest in peace?Gotta spend Yeah, like and and so

(05:41):
they realized they can make money there. And then with Bravo, Bravo really
started at like getting on this beatwith um being Bobby Brown. Ye oh
yeah, and so and they startedmaking money and then they just they got
a lot of other shows, andthen and they started The Real Housewives,
which wasn't the same, but eventuallythey made their way to Atlanta and this

(06:05):
woman named Mei Leaks with her bestwhite friend who was wearing a plastic wig.
Just get on there and start talkingabout big Papa and tardy for the
party and bloop and and all theseother things, and it's caught fucking fire.
Yeah, thank you New York,think you here, Thank you New

(06:30):
York. Thank you. So manypeople owe their fucking careers to you.
Yeah, Bret Michaels wouldn't be payinghis mortgage right now if New York can
go and show the fuck out onflavor Beyonce, Beyonce Beyonce into the stream
while Hotti was trying to conclaim peoplethink she's Beyonce, It's true, Bret

(06:57):
Michael, Bret Michaels and his hairplug, Thank you New York, thank
you. I'm just saying her highlightof flavor of love for me was the
microwave chicken. Who did that?Oh? Of course, of course,
Um it was honey, Yeah,how do you want to there? I

(07:17):
think she put some marshmallows on thatbench. Microwave didn't. Then I think
she put some ramen noodle. Shedid a lot. And then flavor flame
in his look alike mama, whois flavor flame in a week, But
I'm not convinced that woman exists.That is flavor flame and she and they

(07:39):
they're like, you're kidding, right, You weren't gonna serve this to my
mom? Yes, she was flame, she was. She was gonna serve
it to your mama. I gotSam Manella watching that. You did,
we all did. We're all recovering. Oh mercy, okay, um,

(08:01):
but you know this is gonna airjust in time for my sixth anniversary of
podcasting tomorrow. So I put NASfor a better guess. Yeah, congratulations
to you six years of a longtime. The worst part about podcasting is
that you gotta keep doing it.Yeah, and I keep doing it.
Make one episode to move on withyour life. Yeah, and I keep

(08:22):
doing it being chronically undisabled. Soit's like I put a podcast tomorrow.
My Migraine goes, no, you'renot. I get up and I'm like,
I'm gonna write that trip. Ican't block you know, So still,
yeah, baby, congratulations to you. Yeah, I'm glad to have

(08:45):
you here for it. So you'vetalked on your podcast about reading some stuff
too early, you know, beingthat library hog, like I was twenty
books setting too much? You know, you're only three. I got him

(09:07):
exactly when. I love that Whendid you start reading? I started reading
when I was three, Um,mostly because my mom is a reader as
well, and my mom was like, I don't know telling to reading these
baby books I'm reading over here.You need to figure this out just and
that's essentially what I did. Shedid not teach me how to read.

(09:31):
Um, I'm old. So booksthose remember those read along books where they
put a tape in and they godid it do when they want you to
change the page? Yeah? ThatI had like millions of those, and
one of my favorite ones was anovelization of the movie Grimlins. It's which

(09:56):
is literally the best Christmas movie onthe world. And so I would that
is how I learned how to read. Yeah, we don't know how I
learned how to read. I wasaround too, and um my pediatrician handed
me a doctor Seus's book and Iread it to him and my mom's like,
oh, that's so cute. Shememorized it. And he's like,

(10:20):
this is a memorization. And thenhe handed me up pamphlet and I read
that and she's like, I'm spooked. We have the idea. Yeah,
and I had books your mama readeras well. Yes, she is,
so maybe I was just copying Mama. But my books on tape were books
on the record. We checked themout. They were a little yeah,

(10:43):
small records, but it had thesmall hole in the middle instead of the
fats, you know, single.And that's my picture on my website where
I joke this is a long I'vebeen podcasting. I'm listening to my little
book on record. You know,it is time to turn the page when
you hear this. Yeah, Idon't think like kids just aren't gonna have

(11:09):
that. I mean, I guessyou can do that digital leave, but
I mean they just don't do thatanymore. No attention spans have changed,
you know. Yeah, yeah,so what you talked a little bit about
it, but what did you readquote unquote too early. I know some

(11:31):
of your library stories for your podcast. Well listen, I am the number
one library villain and love her atthe same time because I spent so much
time in the library, Like Iwould be like annoying librarians, being fights
with them. I steal books fromthe library. You can check them out,

(11:54):
you don't have to steal them.But I was over my limit.
And it depended on which library andwas there. Like someone could be real
dicks about it, and others wouldjust like just take the fucking books I
was. I was like one ofmy so my big dream. My mother
used to take me to the librarystarts because we could not afford, like

(12:15):
to have a million books, somy mom would just take me there.
They also had like children's programming,so my mom would just like fucking leave
and come back like four hours later, and I would just be reading.
Yeah, I didn't care. Mybrothers would be live it, live it.
They would be ready to call CPSowner me. I'd be like,
I hope she never comes back,and so and so she would take me

(12:37):
and I just loved it there.And I told my mother one of my
big dreams in life was to havea library like on my street so I
can get to it myself. Andwhen I was about tennish, we moved
to a place where the libraries atthe end of the small town on a
small base, a small weapons basein Virginia, and the library, the

(13:01):
little library was at the end ofour street. And suddenly I want as
much as I want it, andthe librarians were like, you need to
restrict your library access because this bitshows up on lunch breaks banging on the
door. Tom, I'll just lettingin like they were they were calling my
house. They would be like,Princess, we got in these new books.
Do you want to come down?And my mom was like, who

(13:22):
must have? Like, oh,that's the librarians. I gotta go because
things to do, they need it, they need me down there. But
um, so what happened is becauseI did not have I read a lot,
and I didn't have guided like peoplelike offering me books. It really
got to the point where I wasjust like, I'm gonna read what I

(13:43):
want. I started reading um likeVC Andrews. Obviously, Yeah, I
read a Kramer Versus Kramer, Likewhen I was like fucking ten years old.
Wow, I don't know what Iwanted that book, yeah, yeah,
And and I remember I was likereading it at school and the teacher

(14:05):
is like, what the fuck areyou reading? You know, I'm like
this new cool book that was onthe shelves in my life. And she's
just like, oh my god,Okay, I guess I can't control you.
I read um uh Rambling Rose,which features the movie like the movie

(14:28):
features Lord Dirt and her mom,but in the book, yes, in
the book. In the book umRambling Rose is this kind of like I
don't know, she got the vaporsand she just shows up places and just
oh, oh, I don't knowwhat I'm doing. I'm Rambling Rose.

(14:50):
And she decides to start working forthis family and the boy in the family
is very like sexually precocious, andhe pipes so on her while she's getting
dressed, and at one point hehas a sexual encounter with her in which
she teaches him how to like stimulateher clitteris. And I was like eleven,

(15:16):
and that was statutory rape, whichis also known as rape, and
so like I was like, ohoh oh, But at that point,
I've been reading so much VC Andrewsaid, I really wasn't super surprised because
there was a rape and every VCAndrew, yeah, pretty much. And
then of course there's those are typeof books like I wish you could see

(15:43):
my hands right now shaking because Iand I also got really into a Harlequin
romance novel when I was in themiddle school, and I I still really
do love like wind Down was likejust a a very predictable, right,

(16:04):
yeah, little book that you couldread in like fucking two hours. Yeah,
just a good yeah. And mydad, I remember, I was,
yeah, I was. I rememberI was at home reading a book.
It was about Okay. It wassetting a buy you Okay, which
is like, you know, theyalways look a set shit like interesting places

(16:27):
like that. So it was inthe buy You. And this woman was
a cable access vampire think Elvira,but cable access, right, So she
would get on here, she'd bevery sexy, would her boobs all up.
But you know, of course whenthe cameras went off, she was
just a girl next door, youknow. And she was actually a little

(16:48):
shy with men. Of course sheis, because every every heroin is.
And then but she had she hadmet this very sexy by you doctor who
said things like shit and then andwas like intrigued at the idea that she
was so sexy on camera, butshe went off camera. She was just
you know, she's just like toread and wear her glasses. And I

(17:11):
was reading this book and my fathercomes in my room and goes, what
are you reading? And I toldI showed him, and he goes,
does that book have pictures in it? And I was like, no,
I didn't have any pictures, andhe leased through it. He goes,
all right, well, I guessthere were no pictures. I guess that's
fine. Like to him, itwas only porn if it had pictures.
The fact that I was like imaginingall this sexy stuff going on, people's

(17:37):
rose buds being caressed over and overagain, you know that sort of stuff,
it was fine. It was justthat he was like, as long
as you don't see any pictures,that would be you know, And so
I put. I read all thoseI read the VC Andrew stuff. Everyone
got raped or molested, or everybody'smom and daddy died every five minutes.
And I would do that, andI would, But I think this is

(18:02):
just a function of I used toget to no one like, like I
said, no one checked my librarybooks. No one question the fact that
I was in the adult section ofthe of the library and obviously an elementary
school. Nobody nobody asked, youknow, yeah, yeah yeah. My

(18:25):
parents' role was I could watch orread anything I wanted, as long as
it was legal, um, aslong as I came to them with my
questions instead of my grab ass littlefriends, you know, so, and
as long as they knew about it. Rule. Yeah, so I just

(18:45):
go, heay, such a goodrule. I'm gonna read My Sweet Adrina.
And mom would go, uh,okay, ask me anything, you
know, and then she'd going itthen and probably laugh with that. But
yeah, you know, so Iread Let's see, I think I read
um Christine at eight, you know, um, I had you know yeah

(19:10):
yeah, and I had an elementaryschool subscription to the Twilights of a magazine.
So you see how I turned outso weird? Okay, explains a
lot I do that. It makesa lot of I also like so those
types of books. One, they'reeasy to get to, right because they're

(19:33):
all paperback, right, um,And libraries have a million of them because
people donate like that all the time. Always somebody's mom's trashy novels, and
it always featured a girl who wasvulnerable, right yeah, and had lost
either her mother or both parents,right, And there are other people coming

(19:56):
in their lives and you know,oh, I don't know hypnosis, you
know, a batch of stuff,what happened? And these are all things
that as a young preteen and teengirl, I these are things I'm interested
in. Yeah, you can drawa straight line from this the true crime,

(20:18):
you know what I mean? Yep, right, ye, just and
so uh this is like that Iknow they weren't made for us, but
they were made for us. Theywere Yeah, yeah, Oh my god,
I'm looking at the Wikipedia for mysweet Audrina because I'm because I'm like

(20:41):
trying to remember everything that happened,and I forgot this. This feature brittle
bone disease. It's like a realthing. And I can see myself watching
like oh a TV mute, aTV movie and like someone coming up with
brittle bone disease and might be like, yeah, I know all about that

(21:02):
because I read about it. Well. Yeah, we learned a lot of
medical stuff from these books. Kramerversus Kramer is where I learned that women
sometimes poop during delivery. First page. Oh oh okay, oh that Um,
I just want you to know thatno one, yeah, no one

(21:26):
has ever had displayed me what Munchausenby proxy is, yep, because many
of my books pictures. And Ithink I think the difference now is that

(21:47):
although kids find books so I've read. I don't know if you know these
books they're um invisible Uh. Therethere these books called like invisible Life as
I am. They're about gay menliving in York City, coming out of
the close and stuff. I readthose in high school and yeah and then
and there was too much for metoo. I should not have been reading

(22:08):
that shit. Yeah, I butlike now I don't have to like I
used to. At the time,reading books was like would bring all this
stuff to me that I did nothave experience with. And now kids have
the internet and TikTok, like TikTok. I would have eaten up TikTok as
a kid because I had so manyquestions about everything and that information was was

(22:34):
important to me. But I also, like I blame my mom in a
lot of ways too, because mymom's like my mom loves to read books
like some of a crack queen,you know, Donald going shit like uh
uh, pimps and hose down atthe like she loves shit like that just
just crap. Um. I shouldn'tsay that nothing. Nothing's crap, but

(22:56):
like that's the type of stuff mymom likes. And she would read her
in Choirers, and because I wassuch like a precocious reader, I would
be sitting next to her be likecan I read that too? So I'd
read the Inquirer and I'd be likefucking seven years old and thinking it was
a fucking newspaper. And then thesethings were really happening and like confirmed,

(23:18):
confirmed, Michael Jackson is having sexwith that monkey. It's confirmed. Like
it was the same, it wasthe same. As I sat down and
watch the evening news, I'd belike, yep that I remember this one
story of a very large man.Okay, they said he weighed nine hundred
pounds and that he was burgularizing homesand stealing food out of them. They

(23:41):
said he would sneak in there,nine hundred pounds, He would sneak into
the homes. Okay, through awindow. How I do not know.
Okay, Like, if you weighnine hundred pounds, you you're usually at
that point you're not mobile. Yeah, and so you're not breaking it.
I mean, you're not scaling anyfucking walls to get especially when you just

(24:03):
go to the store and get foodand so and so. But I believed
it was happening because the Inquirer toldme, and my mom let me read
it. And I was terrified forweeks weeks because I was so sure that
this medically disabled, handicapped man weighingnine hundred pounds and probably needs an oxygen

(24:30):
take as well, would sneak sneakinto her home to get my morning cereal
captain crying Yeah, he's yeah,exactly. And but they inquire Center,
and that's a newspaper. It wasmy newspaper record. So I believed it.
And I just feel like my mom, like, so I'm a bit
more. My mom was her reading. Her reading was her reading, right,

(24:53):
She read her books, and shedidn't give a fuck what I was
reading. She was like, listenas long now to get the library by
yourself, you're and your own kid. Yea. But for me, I
really like, like enjoy children's literature, And so I really know what my
kids are reading. They're telling meabout it right now. They're getting through
the Animorphs series, and they're likeloving it and so if we can go

(25:15):
back in time. But my mothershould have done as is asked me to
what I was reading, because Iwould have told her about it. Was
no shame whatsoever. And I wishthat I had the relationship that you had,
because you get to go and askyour mom about these wild things and
she's like, okay, so letme explain this to you. And me

(25:36):
I was like just on my own, guessing and shit and again asking my
dumb friends about it and they wouldbe like, where did you get that
book? I really did go Idon't. I went and asked my mom
about the line of Christine where theguys selling the car says there's nothing that

(26:00):
smells better than new car except forpussy, and I had no idea what
he meant. And I'm like,um, mom, can can you stop
General Hospital for a minute? Ihave a question? And she Hospital and
she explained it to me, andthen she probably called that at work and
when guests was just hamed. I'mnot a year old, and they probably

(26:30):
had a great laugh. But sheexplained it to me, you know,
so, yeah, Stephen King tellsso many books, right, obviously,
but I'm convinced that so many peopledid not read Stephen King. They watched
his movies. They you know,they he's a pop culture person, but

(26:52):
not all people sat down and readthe books. And Stephen King's books,
his characters talk wildly. Guys,his characters. First of all, there's
always at least three races people intheir same thing and work. Yeah,
always always, and Stephen King isalways like I wouldn't say it, but
most of my characters would. Andthen there's a lot of sex stuff in

(27:17):
there. Um. I remember readingNeedful Things when I was a lot older
and being like, yeah, thereyou go, Steve, there you go.
Just it. If you guys goback and read actually read it,
oh boy, Um, I thinkyou would be very surprised. Like it's

(27:37):
not about so people think of StephenKing is horror, but he's also like
shock. There's also there's I mean, Stephen King is just VC Andrews in
a Halloween coste. That's that's allit is. Yeah, he understands that
people are the monsters, you know, Yes, and that's that's really what
his stuff is about. And Icannot recommend enough, but I mean,

(27:59):
you guys have to understand I'm actuallyreading the Life and Times of the Wicked
Witch of the West again, right, huh, I'm rereading it. I
thought I was gonna go through thewhole series, but then I remember,
I get to a part. There'sa little girl named Nor in this book,
and some horrible thing happens there.And there's an image of Nor after

(28:21):
being imprisoned, and she's essentially goneferal, like her like, and so
they describe it as her like shakingher head and looking and like and and
her arms curled around her, herchains and stuff. And I got to
the part and I was like,you know what, I don't have to
finish this book again because this isvery disturbing. Yeah. Um, but

(28:45):
but that image I just gave you, guys that have disturbed me. There
might be five or six of thosein the Stephen King book. There really
are. It is like, it'sit's it's and and He's I don't think
people realize how blue he works like. People really just think of him as
like a scared a guy who tellsstory scary stories about scary clowns and whatnot.

(29:11):
But I mean there's a lot ofsex in his books. There's a
lot of nasty things that happened.It is like, I mean, I
don't I don't want to harp onit, but I was scared of balloons
for a really long time. Yeahyeah, I think I think his mini
series it's the reason our generation isscared of clowns. That and Poulter Geist.

(29:32):
Maybe maybe maybe I don't remember theclown and Poulter guy, it's the
clown ball Oh oh, all right, you're right, you're right, you're
right, you're at ye. Ialso think a lot of clowns are redheaded.
Just in general, people do notenjoy redheaded men. Okay, they

(29:55):
just don't. In every romance novel, third out of the third, every
one out of three ro romance novels, the woman is red headed. But
there are no red headed men inmedium because people, unless it's chucky,
they don't. People don't do withred headed men. And I think that
has a lot to do with ourfair clowns. Also, clowns were wearing

(30:17):
a mask. Um, you don'tknow who they are inside. This is
why I don't like nuns. I'mterrified with nuns, guys. I don't
they're they're covered head to toe andI just believe they know some shit.
I don't know. I don't knowwhat's underneath there. I'm terrified nuns.

(30:38):
I used to live in a neighborhoodin Chicago where the nuns would always be
like, um, panhandling, panhandlingin front of the grocery store. And
my husband, if he saw thenuns out frome be like, I guess
we can go to the rushed storetoday. Huh. I's like, no,
no, and just once you.I think the scary part is the

(31:02):
idea and I don't know. AndI think that's what we get from clowns
and also redheaded men. Yeah.And then we had John Wayne Gacy and
our youth, or at least inmy oath, that's right. What do
you mean he was famous? Yeah, most famous evil clown. Yeah,
what do you mean he was entertainingchildren? No, what do you mean

(31:25):
he saw the first lady? No, this is so rude. But anybody
who voluntarily works with children, I'malmost like, what are you doing here?
Yeah? And I know, yeahyou're not getting paid, even teachers.
I'm so sorry. Yeah, butit's suious. As soon as someone's
like, I work with children fora living, I'm like, I get

(31:45):
my good eye on you. Andthat's because I read a lot of things
with children getting molested. Yeah asa child. Yeah, I actually I
want to pick up some of thesebooks now. It's like I probably download
these onto my candle, like todayI want to read the Ship. My
job here is done. Yeah,you've got You've got me spiraling towards being

(32:10):
I like, I just this umlike they're they're a lot of like horror
books that are just like also verysoapy. I'm forgetting the names of them
now. I'm not talking about ChristopherPike, because Christopher Pike was just was
R. L. Stein. Imean there are a couple of other ones

(32:31):
that would always be like you findout about midway through that um that like
you've been got you've been sent tolive with your and uncle for the summer,
and then you find it out therelike a member of a satanic cult
and they plan on like sacrificing you, John Saul, That's exactly the funk

(32:57):
I was thinking of thinking about.Yep, and then Accord, Oh my
goodness, there's the Zebra horror.You know, they'd have the black covers
and then like a child holding adoll that has a skull face they sold
him at grocery stores. Oh mygod, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, I'm unlucky trigger I wassupposed to Yeah you are, because I

(33:21):
was supposed to be babysitting. Listen. I was the worst babysitter in the
world. People should not have hiredme. I was bad at it.
I got fired all the fucking time. But my dad got me this babysitting
gig and in the summer with somebodyin his like Battalion or whatever, and
so I would go and watch thekids. But they had a lot of
John Saw books in there, soI would I would just fucking read through

(33:47):
the books, and like I'd bereading so fucking hard, Carla, so
fucking hard. I'd look up thekids were gone, they'd left the house,
and I'd be like, oh shit, where those kids are supposed to
be watching. And they were like, well, they were hungry. You
weren't listening to us, and wewent down the block. I'm like,
well, you gotta get back atthe house, guys. I gotta finish
my book, and also I cangive you something to eat when we get

(34:07):
there. I did not get firedfrom that job, but I should have,
because all I did was read theirfucking books and oh my goodness,
just like these these memories. Yeah, you need to read. Um.
My friend Grady Hendrix, the horrorauthor, has put together a book called

(34:30):
Paperbacks from Hell and he's preserving allthese old pulpy horror books from the eighties
and nineties and seventies. Okay,okay, you know this. I see,
I see. Yeah, I don'tdedicated to it. The sucking bus
of the Curson. Yeah, I'mdefinitely gonna get this. These these are

(34:52):
all like these. There's the spawnand there's like an evil baby. Yeah,
and there's a picture of the baby. There's an evil baby and he's
got a man in a jar.So I already know what happens that baby
takes over. Oh um. Sobooks like these are like direct cousins of

(35:16):
like, um, what's the showyou used to be on HBO with a
crypt keeper tells from the crypt Talesfrom the crypts like that? Yeah,
I think that guy. So ifyou haven't read those types of books,
they're there. They are outrageous butalso kind of funny. Yeah, I

(35:37):
don't. I don't find them scarybecause they're because you're like, what the
baby pop straight out her stomach?And caught its way out. Like it's
stuff like that. You're like,the fuck, there's a hospital with no
one other patients in it. What? Yeah, yeah, don't go in
that room. Don't go This isthe type of saying. I would spend

(36:00):
them. Oh, my summers Iloved, Like my parents never put me
in like camp and stuff like that. We really couldn't afford it. And
so what would I do is Iwalked to the library and I would just
get a ton of books, andI'd be reading all day and night.
I'd get my little snacks and whatnot, and I could be reading to like
four or five o'clock in the fuckingmorning, just plowing through these types of

(36:22):
books. And you know, Ididn't have a care in the world.
I don't know where to be.I could go to sleep as soon as
I got tired. Yeah, yeah, I remember one of those Zebra books
vividly. I bought it on theway so I was going to the beach
and the evil child was actually namedLucien. Oh you mean, like Lucifer.

(36:45):
Good job, you did it.You wanted that kid to be evil?
Why would you name See if yourname is Lucian, you have no
choice. You must be evil.It's the rules. I didn't make them
up. So I mean, whatdid you do on your Can I tell

(37:12):
you what? Can I tell youthat? As someone who reads everything and
loves loves, always has a book, my mom taught me to bring a
book in my purse wherever I fuckingwent, like, because you never know
when this ship will get boring,just get your book. Cap And so
I was taking the China bus fromNew York City to Virgunia beach Um and

(37:35):
I do not have a book.And I was like, oh my god,
what am I gonna do. Igo to the store. I see
this book, SUS bestseller, allthose other things. It's called Twilight.
I was like, all right,o' get I'll get this book, all
right. So I get the book. It was so bad that I just
put it down and stared out thewindow for like an eight and a half

(37:57):
hour drive. Do you know howbad it is for me to be like,
I'm just not gonna read this.I just can't do with it.
And I had not heard anything abouttry. I'm not someone who like really
follows like um book news and stuff. I tend to find that I want
like that that like whether or notsomething's a bestseller and things like that has
no bearing on whether I want toactually read it. Yeah, and so

(38:22):
um, I don't really bother withthat. So I knew. I like,
I was like, I think I'veheard of this book. It's fair
but obviously it was a runaway fuckingbest seller. There was no movie yet,
but it was so fucking big,and like I'm when, I was
like, you know, I couldtry it out. I love vampires,
you know, and you know,big fan of the Blade trilogy. You
know I'll do this. And Ithis was not the Blade trilogy. And

(38:45):
I just this was this was nota rice baby, this is not a
rest, and so I just Iwas like, this is very, very
very bad. I left the bookon the bus. I never lead books
places. I take him with me. I take your books too. I
was just I'm a book hoarder.There's no fucking way I would leave a

(39:07):
book somewhere on fucking purpose. Andguess what. I left it on the
bus. I was like, Ican't deal with it. Tre's a great
TikTok where the person points out howmany times just in the first book Edward
chuckles, and it's I think it'slike forty times the writing and um,

(39:29):
I don't know, I haven't seenthe movies. Was he chuckling in the
movies? No, he was allbroody and sparkly. I've seen the first
one. Yeah, broody and sparkly, dalky. He watched he breaks the
whole problem. Yeah, he breaksthe room and watches her sleep. It's
so creepy. Oh my god.Yeah, he's like, you look beautiful

(39:52):
sleeping rst Right. She's like,oh, thank you, thank you so
much. What wait? Why dohe want to see her sleeping? Just
why? Because he wanted her?Yeah, and because he doesn't sleep.
He doesn't have a bed in thisroom. So yeah, he entertains himself
by going to high school over andover. He actually has this big framed

(40:16):
thing, it's like twenty by thirtysix and it's all his graduation sashes from
over the years. Oh what yeah, this he could be Karen's cancer.
But instead he's going to high schoolever and ever again because high school girls.
I guess, guys. There thereare so many more better vampire books

(40:40):
and which books and things like thatthan that. Um Anne Rice has a
which is a Mayfair that's really good. Obviously, interviews a vampire stuff.
Um, the Southern Vampire series,which is what A True Blood's based on.
Charlene Harris a fucking goat, Likeshe's her books are amazing and she
also has like they're cozy mysteries withvampires and them, that's really all they

(41:02):
are. M I love a fuckingcozy mystery, but like, they're so
much better. And me, asa reader who steals books, I used
to steal books from bookstores. Iused to I like, I would go
into the bookstore, shove books downmy pants and leave with seven because I
wanted them so badly. I stolebooks from my school. At one point,

(41:27):
my middle school teacher forced me toopen my locker and I had procured
like seven math textbooks. Why whydid I want all these algebra textbooks?
You know, I don't even remember. And so when I tell you I
refuse to take a book with me, you should listen to me. I

(41:52):
could arrested many times over books.I'm gonna call this episode solving for the
Value of XM. Sorry, ohman, but um yeah, I just
like so because I read all thosebooks too early. I'm reading Stephen King.

(42:13):
I was reading things that uh didnot have any value in my actual
real life. Um, but toexcept to give me the knowledge that I
could be kidnapped at any moment.I would definitely be molested as soon as
I've been kidnapped. Um. Andalso make sure my mom was healthy because
if she died, I'm getting molestedimmediately. So so so like I was

(42:37):
just on guard and so like whatthat What that like made me was just
something I don't like now as anadult, but a propoacious shy. I
just had a lot of ideas andthoughts and more information and not a lot
of context of that information. Solike, um, I read Catcher in

(43:00):
the Rye when I was in middleschool by myself. Nobody told me to
read this book. At the time, I read uh Brian Jack's series,
um Mufflower and I read I reada bunch of those and catch Her in
her Ryan And guess which one Iliked more? Yes, catch Her in
the Rye, the one with thetalking mice and and not definitely not to

(43:22):
catch the r I fucking hated it. I could not understand why I was
supposed to give a fuck about thisdude. And I remember being in high
school and they were like, yeah, we're gonna catching a round. I
was like, no, no,I don't want to. And I was
like, holden and call fool isan asshole, and I don't like,

(43:44):
he doesn't even deserve to have abook written about him. And I remember
my literagy teacher like kind of justsitting down and like, Princess, you
are a you're a fast reader.You have read, you read widely.
You're always interested in the stories,and that's great, that's great, But
you have tackled a lot of textthat maybe you shouldn't have been reading at

(44:06):
the time, and so you don'thave any context for it. You had
no like guide for it. Atthis point, I've I've read so many
shakespeare In plays and stuff, andI was like, Shakespeare sucks. But
you don't have you don't have anybodyguiding you through things. Yeah, And
then she told me something that likereally fucked with me for a long time.

(44:28):
She's like, and nobody gives afuck if you don't like Shakespeare.
Shakespeare has made his bones, hehas made his mark in the world,
and you haven't, ye, Andso you're over here criticizing people that have
done things you can't even do,and you should think very carefully before you
criticize someone, it's doing something youcan't do. And I was like what

(44:49):
And I never fucking forgot that that, Like, it doesn't matter if I
literally doesn't matter if I hate Twilight, because Twilight doesn't need to prove shit
to me because it's done its thingalright. Yeah, Um, I don't
have to like it, but likeme saying I hate it, who gives
a fuck? And that really putso when she gave me that perspective,

(45:13):
because at that point, I've youknow, I've read things like The Princess
Brian when I was really young,like that sort of stuff, and I
enjoyed the Princess Bribe, but Ididn't get it, Yeah, because lots
of things flew over my fucking head. Uh huh, yeah, yeah,
I never did you have the sameexperience? Um yeah, I remember very

(45:42):
early, I think that's about three. Mom took me to what would be
my elementary school and said, um, she is so smart, we don't
know what to do with her.And so they iq tested me and they
said we agree, and so thatgave me reading lists and kind of planned

(46:04):
for me to show up in acouple of years and then she did it.
Again when I was like ten withEnglish professor that lived in her neighborhood,
and she's like, I think sheshould be reading more wild widely than
our library can contain because we hadthis little small town library. She's literally

(46:29):
boring herself, you know, sheread it all. And so she gave
me the list of her freshman Englishclass. So I started reading Frankenstein and
Catch Her in Her Eye and GreatGatsby and all that stuff. And I
didn't have any guidance because some ofthat stuff Mom hadn't read and Dad hadn't
read because Dad had an engineering degree, mechanical engineering, and Mom didn't go

(46:52):
to college, and so she eventuallywent and got a paralegal degree, but
she wasn't reading that stuff either.So I was kind of on my own.
And that reminds me of when Iwas younger. Because I was known
as being so smart, I thoughtI should know everything I was reading,

(47:13):
so I would just plow through.Yeah, And so I didn't get the
fork in the road joke in theMuppet movie because I thought forking roads a
forking road. And boy, whenI read somebody had a train on their
dress in Nanswy your book, Iwas like Oh, that sounds like,
why would you have a picture ofa train on the back of your dress?

(47:35):
That just sounds so upgly. That'sexactly what I'm talking about. Lots
of things. I just didn't getit, and because why would I.
Yeah, And also I want tosay this is that like, because I
was praised for being able to communicatewell and read fast and smart, because

(48:00):
I knew so many things, itreally became my identity as a kid.
And you know, I wish theyhadn't done that to me specifically, because
it really put me in a positionwhere I thought I was smarter than everyone
around me. And the older I'vegotten, the more I value someone who

(48:21):
takes time to read because I couldread like I could be done in minutes,
and but like sitting with the withthe text and sitting with the story
and asking questions and taking time,like you get so much more from it
than that. And like and atthe time, I was just like I

(48:42):
was, I was a brat,and I was like, I am definitely
a smart person, and anybody who'snot smart, I don't know what's doing
with you. And I would bein class and like this is in younger
elementary and I remember telling a teacherlike, I do not want to read
with you guys. You guys readslow. That kid can't read at all.
And I don't know why were wesupposed to be the same classroom and

(49:06):
which is so fucking rude. ButI thought, oh that I was like
I thought I had earned that thatI was allowed to say things like that.
Yeah, And and this is whyI stole some books from that school,
because they would not let me readahead. So I stole the book
and I went home and read itin the middle of the night, basically

(49:28):
any problems I had, I waslike, I'll just steal something. Yeah,
But like, because people encourage mewith that, I feel like there
are lots of things that I can'texperience again for the first time. I
just Um, one of my favoriteauthors is Aaron is excuse me, Robin
McKinley, and she wrote The Heroin the Crown and like, I just

(49:50):
she wrote Beauty, which is whichis a retailing of Beauty and the Beast
and and it's actually like really fuckinggood, and um, we were reading
The Hero and the Crown and Ijust it's one of the first books that
I picked up, and I waslike, I wish I'd written this.
I wish I thought this idea,and I was I wish I had done
this. And I go back toit over and over and over and over

(50:15):
again, because I mean, theydo like fantasy novels, but also because
I can't get back that moment whenI first read it, and I was
rushing through it because I wanted tobe the first person done, and I
wanted to prove how smart I was, and I wanted to do all those
things instead of just enjoying it,you know. Yeah. Yeah, so

(50:37):
I think sometimes I think sometimes moreharm was done than good when I was
like plowing through these these books andthings that weren't weren't I just weren't meant
for me. Yeah, So whatare your reading right now? Hey,

(51:01):
So I'm rereading the The Wicked Witchof the West book. Yeah, that's
what, guys. That's a wickedI mean, you guys know, Yeah,
that's what wick. It's based onit. And I remember the first
time I read that, girl,I loved it because I loved I just
love the cover that was like thisis you didn't get her side of the

(51:22):
story and stuff, and I'm like, yes, I love stuff like that,
and so I'm rereading that. I'malso so, I just finished um
the Bridgerton Um Volume three, andit's got like eighty books in the bitch
and also and I so this iswhat I find comforty about Bridgeton. I

(51:43):
don't watch the show. I don'tfind the show that great. Yeah,
the show's fine, don't get mewrong. But but I liked the books.
And the reason is they are sofucking predictable, which is what you
want in a romance, in ain a regency romance novel, you wanted
to be predictable. Yeah, andI love I love the idea. Didn't
know VC Andrew was born in Portsmiths, that is right near where I was

(52:06):
born. That's right, I didn'tknow that. I don't know that.
I'm wondered for parents were in themilitary because there's a big naval hospital.
Anyway, whatever. There's a pictureof VC Andrew on my computer right now.
That's all. I was like,what the fuck is that? Oh?
That is her, and and hername is Cleo Virginia. I didn't

(52:27):
know that either. Cleo Virginia andrewsokay, okay, VC, all right
anyway, Um, so I'm readingthe Bridges and stuff. And I don't
know if you know this about me, Carla, but my favorite favorite favorite
book in the world that I willgo back to every time, or the

(52:47):
Anne of green Gables books. Ohthat's so sweet, I know, and
like I'm not even like a sweetperson, but Anne of green Gables she
when Matthew dies. Anyway, Ilove that those series, and I own
all of them obviously, but likeI go back to that book all the

(53:12):
time, and I don't always startat the beginning. I just opened the
Bitch and like I just start readingit because I know it so well,
Like well, I don't need to, it's just I yeah, and like
she's just She's the reason I usedthe words kindred spirit all the time.
She's she's the one that like saidthat it's so much easier to look forward

(53:34):
to things than to like worry aboutAnd I obviously don't take that advice,
but yeah, like I try.Um, I definitely got a kid drunk,
just like she did Diana, andI hadn't read those books yet though,
so I was like when it whenI read, I was like,
oh, girl, me too.I definitely gave sound some kool aid.
I thought it was cool aid,but it was not, and um,

(53:55):
those books are like I'm always inthe middle of reading one of them.
And my next big thing is thatmy favorite books are the miss ink Um
series by Robert Aspirin. I lovethat series. It's it's basically a buddy
comedy thing with lots of puns andlots of like you know, uh,

(54:17):
lots of like in your windows andstuff that's very funny. It's about a
demon and a failed wizard's apprentice andthem going through all these different worlds and
they their best friend is the trollop, which is a woman on the on
the in the troll dimension. Allthe men of trolls, all the women's
are trollops. The women are reallyhot and like you can always see their

(54:39):
ass, and the men of thepetrols and so and so, and there's
like a magic baby and it's it'sbasically a buddy comedy and there are a
lot of books. Robert Aston stoppedwriting them. Um, I think he
got old same away with v Sandrews, Like they're like they wanted to keep

(54:59):
it going, but obviously I don'tthink she could. And I mean she
died in nineteen eighty six, forGod's sake. Yeah, yeah, and
I was reading them well after that. But um but um so some of
his later books are a little different, but they they're there's like thirteen in

(55:19):
the series, and I believe whenI'm done, I'm gonna put down The
Witch, The Wicked Witch bo becauseI'm disturbed. Now. Yeah, when
I'm done with my Bridgton um spankBank stuff, I'm gonna move on and
re reread that series because I don'tknow. It's a it's a tough world
out there, yeah, and sometimesnostalgia is comforting. It's so comforting,

(55:43):
Yeah, it is. Yeah.Well, I'm finally reading The Virgin Suicide
because every time I thought about it, I was like, things are too
tough right now. They kill themselves, you know. But I'm so glad
I picked it up because I lovedMiddlesex And is it is it? Um?

(56:07):
How big is it? Um?It's not overwhelming? Um. I
don't know exactly how sick it isbecause it's on my ipadis a new book,
but it's really interesting. It's fromthe point of view of their guy
neighbors and they're telling you about theevidence they've kept, like here's you know,

(56:29):
evidence number ten. This is aphotograph of the front of their house,
you know, and we kept soand so sneakers, and you know,
we have this and they're trying topiece together their teenagehood with these girls
to figure out what happened. They'remiddle aged, but they're still trying to
figure it out. And it's actuallyfunny in parts. It's really sweet.

(56:57):
It's not modeling like you would thinkit would be. Um, okay,
okay, so, and I'm surelike I'm a firm believing that the book
is always better than a movie.I just I can't really think of a
movie I enjoy better than the book, and so um, I often try
to read the book before I actuallysee the movie, right because I don't
want to be ruined. But youknow what I mean, Yeah, you

(57:17):
know, it's just so hard becauseyou're like, that is not what that
character looks like. I don't knowwhere y'all got that from. So um,
I bet you it's from you makingit sound like it's like really really
good. And yeah, and Ithink I think it is coming from the
point of rather than a miserable family, from the point of view of suicidal

(57:44):
contagions, you know, which isa thing. You know, when people
read about it or yeah it thenit gets in their head and I appreciate
that. Yeah, I've seen Heathers. I know all about that. I
don't know who your audience is.I don't know, but I'm sure a

(58:06):
lot of them are like, whatthe fuck is that? Y'all need to
watch others right now? It isChristians Yes, go watch it, right
fucking now, go watch it.Christians Later is great. He was great
in Doctor robot Um. Also,guys, okay, there was a movie

(58:30):
called Gleaming the Cube that Christians Laterwas in. It was about like a
it was about a rogue like skateboarder, okay um, and he obviously didn't
do his stunts. So someone wearinglike a Christian Slater wig, like his
hair was blonde and spiky, andit was like a wig would do the
stunts and like obviously was not him, Like so fucking obvious. And then

(58:54):
they cut to someone watching going,oh my god, he's so good,
and then it cut back to himand he like, yeah, I just
did that that stunt. It's solike, just go watch Heather's watch Cleaming
the Cube. Do that right now. The legend of Billy Jean Fair is
fair. Yeah, like, I'msorry. I know we're talking about books,

(59:21):
but like we got to talk aboutthese things. Yes, how many
networks did you run? To?Heathers? And after you watch Cleaning a
Cube, watch Airborne, which isa movie about a guy who does skateboard
tricks as well, and it's gotSteph Green in it, and yeah,
it's it's just it's basically then youguys know you. Airborne is a really
good movie. It's got a verydelicate boned man in it who is doing

(59:45):
tricks and that's it. He hechanges the town with his skateboard tricks,
his five foot one skateboard tricks.Huh. Yes, he was so little,
but he came on HBO a lotwhen I was a kid, and
I didn't have any supervision, soyep, I had to watch it,

(01:00:06):
so yep. Yeah, anyway,sorry, And I'm also taking um online
classes. Um, this very niceman named Christopher Frizzel has Frizzly classes and
you take him over zoom. Um. He's actually going to be doing Giovanni's

(01:00:27):
Room by James Baldwin in June.Um and right now, yeah, class
into the lights and right now we'rereading Virginia Wolf. He's reading. We're
reading to the Lighthouse for Virginia Wolfand M trying very very hard to understand
Emily Dickinson. So I've got oneon Monday, one on Thursday. Help

(01:00:52):
me I understand how he's figuring out. Please come tell me? Can please
come tell me if you figure itout? I don't know. I always
felt like a little I always feltlike a little bad about it because I
like, she's just not I don'tknow, that's just not my thing,
and and it feels like it shouldbe my thing, right, Yeah,

(01:01:13):
these things feel like they should bemy thing because they've all like the stories
have the things that I like inthem, like if you put them on
paper. But like, yeah,I mean that, I mean that.
I'm that we put them together.I'm like, I'm not into this.
I don't know why. Oh andI just uh put down The Queen's Gambit

(01:01:36):
by Walter Tevis. I really wantedto finish it, but so much of
it seems to require you understanding chess, and they're so much beer drinking that
I'm not triggered by that, butit was getting to me drinking beer like
water, and it seemed to beso important, yeah, so important to

(01:02:01):
the plot, and it was justlike, you know, I'm six hours
into this audio book. I havesix more hours to go. I can't
do it. I just can't doit. Well, I like, I
commend you and everyone listening to thistoo. You guys, do not finish
books you don't want to. Lifeis short. Yeah, you do not
have to be a completionist. Andit's not even a failing of the book,

(01:02:23):
to be honest with me on someof these, they were failings of
the book. Yeah, but likereading is supposed to be enjoyable, and
if you're not having a good timefor whatever reason, just put the ship
down. No one's gonna know,and no one's gonna like be Maddy.
Yeah, just put it down.Yeah, And I kept arguing with myself.
I'm like, Walter Tabs gave usthe color of money, the hustler,

(01:02:45):
the maner felt the earth. Ohyeah, this is important. And
then I'm like, yeah, butit's a lot of beer drinking and trust
moves I don't understand. And no, Queen Sugar was like that I really
like to show. But the bookwas, um, it's about a black

(01:03:07):
family in Louisiana. They inherit thissugarcane farm and like the interpersonals of the
family the book, the TV isgreat, the show is great. So
this might be the example I havethat I did not enjoy the book,
and it's because they would go pagesand pages and pages on how to grow
sugarcane, and I was like,no one is reading this to actually go

(01:03:30):
grow sugar. Like I love thatthe author like knows how to do it.
Yeah, but this is information wedon't need. I don't need this.
And what it's really about this familyand how they find out that the
that the people trying to steal theirsugarcane farm were actually their family owned their
family when they and they all havethese individual things that are going on,

(01:03:53):
it's so it's it's so good,and yet here you are cutting these great
scenes. What people doing more forme? This is not an instructional manual.
And it sounds like that's what yourproblem with Queen's gambit is is too
much chess? Yeah, just itdid fell instructural, Like you too could
plain at her and I don't wantto know. I can't. Did you

(01:04:19):
like the show when it came out, Queen Sugar, I'm not Queen Sugar.
Um Queen's Gambit. I haven't watchedit. I love the actress and
a Taylor Joy. Okay, younow if you decide to put so you
decided to put it down that,yeah, go watch the show. Okay,
shows better, the show's better.Okay. I mean, I don't
know. I never read this accordingto you, because you're telling me that

(01:04:42):
it's just night rook three and overand over again and water like water.
Yeah, I will say this.I could tell a man wrote it.
When I was watching it, Ienjoyed it a lot. Yeah, but
I can tell a man wrote it. I can tell because she's just like
I'm gonna play chess and I'm offthis guy and then I don't know,
I like playing chess. This dudelet me fuck him too, you know

(01:05:03):
what, I got a chest meat, gonna go do that and also fuck
someone here and I'm like fully finewith that. Yeah, and like you
know, funck who you want like, and I'm like all for that.
But the motivation sometimes I'm like,why do you want to fuck him?
You don't even like him and youbeat him in chess like sixty times?
Yeah, why would you want tohave sex with him? And so I

(01:05:24):
could tell a man who wrote it. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it.
I did enjoy it a lot.Yeah, okay, cool, I'll
check it out. Oh man,yeah, all right, have you seen
Are you there? God, it'sme Margaret. Are you going too?
I am thinking about it. Thething is is that, like I obviously

(01:05:46):
obviously the book was very old bythe time I got to it, you
know, because you know they wereworrying like period pad belts. Yeah right,
yeah, I remember. That's That'swhy. Thing I did ask my
mom about it was like why shehad a built She's like, what are
the dude, you're period? She'slike, oh, give you a contraction.

(01:06:12):
It would be like how you're youknow how people sometimes would have like
head gear their braces is basically thatfor your period? Oh modern ventions?
Thank god. Well, But likeobviously obviously the books are really important to

(01:06:34):
me, like you know, becauseum, I just well, I didn't
want'll tell you this has ever readthem. They're one of the few books
that spoke directly to us. Yeah, um, like two Girls and you
know, sure. I also hadThe Babysitters Club, which is I read
all those books. My daughter's readingthem now. Not the comic books.

(01:06:56):
Yeah, okay, yeah, she'sshe's reading the actual text books. Um,
the tech the ones that actually haveall the texts, they they monitored
them up because they definitely in thosebooks. They were like dolling, you
know when you dial the letters insteadof the area code. Yeah. Also
not a thing when I was growingup, But I had to ask.
My mom was like, what thefuck does this mean? But like I

(01:07:18):
used to, the Babysitters Club wasobviously there. It's the whole reason I
joined that babysitting gang. Whole fuckingreason and had my first lets mean relationship
and all through that babysitting gang.But but like, are you there?
Guy was talking? You know what, It's a lot like my silk called

(01:07:41):
life, you know, like theInterior Lives. It wasn't just like a
little story, it's it was stuffthat people don't talk to us about.
And so I'm thinking about it.I don't know, I don't know is
it in theaters or is it onum? I just saw a commercial for
it. Yeah, it's in theright now. I went to the early
premier at all in my draft housewith my mom, and it's perfect.

(01:08:05):
They did the only thing they didto I don't know that is instead of
using the belts, they went tothe really thick pads with the stickers.
So they kept it in the seventies, but they didn't use the belt.
But Judy Bloom yeah, because no, everyone had been like, what the
fuck is that? But Judy Bloomapproved, and um, she's okay,

(01:08:31):
okay. He's actually in the movieas one of Margaret's neighbors with her husband.
You see your walk down the street? Really? Yeah, okay,
I'm definitely gonna recognize her. Yeah, oh yeah, Jusy beats. Yeah.
Kathy Bates plays Grandma Sylvia Simon,and she's kid's button. Okay,

(01:08:53):
okay, okay, okay, maybeI'll go I don't go see it.
I don't know, I'll go seemaybe I'll should I take my kids?
I should take my kid. She'sso yeah, yeah, Margaret's eleven where
it starts take her, and she'sgonna definitely have a lot of questions about
the seventies. And I would belike, listen, I was not alive
in the seventies. I was definitelyreading much from the seventies, and I

(01:09:15):
explained to you what that thing onthe wall is. It's called a phone
and and that's Macrome. I wasjust thinking about how my kids don't know
how to write cursives. How mykids don't know how to write cursives at
all, Like it's not it's nota thing. And yeah, and and
like sometimes I mean I was thinkingabout I was like, and why do

(01:09:40):
they need to know it? Tobe completely honest, they can they can
print. And yeah, I meanI love cursives. I love writing and
stuff like that, but that's becauseI'm old and I used to write by
hand things and and I have goodhandwriting. But they don't really need to
worry about that, so I don'tknow. Yeah, but that's so,
Yeah, I think I should gosee it. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

(01:10:00):
Yeah. At Alamo beforehand they showstuff that's related to the movie.
You go early and they were showingold period commercials and it was great.
Of course, of course I lovethat part of the Alamo. Um.
I I'm a big fan of Superheromovies, and whenever I go watch Superhero

(01:10:26):
movie there, it's the first beforethe movie. It's always just a bunch
of film of people and like SpiderMan costs and of Twerking and just like
like obviously like not English language,and it's like, these are not like
hum license costumes. Someone made themat a hor and why are they tworking?

(01:10:50):
And then why they running through agrocery store? Oh spider Man's Actually
did they do the we must,we must, we must increase our busts
in the movie? Yes? Aggressively? Okay, all right, all right,
all right, okay, you youknow what I'm gonna go. Yes,

(01:11:13):
And they made one of the fourfriends black, so there's representation.
Well that's great. We got somecolor in it, you know. I
hope she gets some lines. Yeahshe does does. Okay, good good,
good, good good. All right, that's cool. I'm definitely gonna
go see it. Maybe I'll takemoney on Sunday. Oh cool. She's

(01:11:34):
like dying to get her period.She's dying to get it. She's always
like, I think got my period. I'm like, no, you need
to change your underwear. This hasnothing to do with that. Like anytime,
any time your underwear looks different doesnot mean you got your period.
Because you know, she's one ofthose fans of those teenage movies, you
know, so she's like ready,So you don't now I think about it.

(01:11:56):
She hasn't read this um, Idon't think. I'm not sure that,
like it's her reading level. Shewas a little behind in reading level,
so but it would be nice totake her to the movie because it's
I don't know, if you're agirl, if you're a girl and you
were like born before nineteen ninety,this was an important book exactly. And
the great thing is that it talksabout how you don't want it until you

(01:12:23):
get it. I mean, youknow, don't hurry up. Oh,
you want it until you get it? Yeah, woldn't want it? And
then and then you get it,and then it's yeah yeah, and then
you're like, what is this gonnastop? I talked to my mom,
was like, what am I gonnaget? In the minto pause? But
my mom had like a full hisdirector when she was like in her early

(01:12:44):
twenties, so she like, Ican't like even go by what she was.
She's like, I don't know,it's been a long time. And
she's like, she's like, Ithink you're like fucking fifteen years away from
it. What what enjoy It's likeit's like people. Yeah, She's like,
people sometimes don't go to the middle. I don't know. I always
thought you got the middle clause oflike thirty nine. That was stupid.

(01:13:05):
So my mom was like, no, you have like you might have twenty
years. You don't fucking know.I was like, ah, but yeah,
you want it, you want it, you want it, and then
you got it. You gotta dealwith it. Yep. So just enjoy.
There's no stop in that train.You convinced me. Bunny thanks you.

(01:13:30):
She doesn't know yet, but shethanks you. We're going to the
movies, auntie, Carla. Yeah, oh, well, I know you're
working today, so do you wantto call it here? Yeah? I

(01:13:53):
gotta work for a living. Yeah. It keeps threatening me. They keep
being like, hey, if youdon't do this work, we're not gonna
pay you. And I'm like,what the fun is that about? I
thought we were friends, your bulliesshit. So yeah, it's working,

(01:14:13):
and then I have to make apot roast, and then I gotta tell
Bunny we're going to the bullice bestpart of the day next to this.
Yeah all right, well, Marla, thank you for having me. Only
well, tell everybody where they canfind you. Guys. You can follow
me on the arrand websit. Okay, then, Princess, here's the thing.

(01:14:38):
I'm pretty private right now on allmy accounts because I got some people
fired and I got lailo. Butit's always some shit, some shit with
me, babysitting, gang stealing bullets, get people fire. I just like
I'm encourageable. But you can findme on my podcast. It's for the

(01:14:59):
free feed of so every Sunday.Um. You can follow that podcast on
Instagram at buy Pumpkin Podcasts. Andyeah, right now I'm doing Real World
UM Las Vegas Fool, which wasthe last Yeah, it's the last one
I watched because even though I'm theexact same old ages all the people there,
I was like, I'm too oldfor the ship. I'm too old

(01:15:23):
to just like meet somebody on Thursdayand have like an orgy with them on
like Friday. I'm just too oldfor the ship and you're not, and
so I want to revisit it.You're not. I'm not throwing forks at
people. I have a healthy asan adult, I have a healthy fear

(01:15:43):
of going to jail. So that'sgood. As a child, not so
much, but as an adult,like, let's not throw any weapons at
people and stuff like that. Butbut yeah, so I'm really excited about
finishing that up, and I juststarted, but I'm excited to revisit and
remember if the real world was asbaddy as I remember was it is?

(01:16:08):
Yeah, yeah, and I'm comingback right hey, yeah, yes,
yes you are. And I wasjust talking about it on an episode.
I was like talking about my guestand how I have so much fun with
him, and I was like,in Carla, Carl, I'm gonna be
on hers and she's gonna be mine. I was like, I gotta text
Carlo back. And then afterwards peoplemessage me, We're like, did you

(01:16:30):
text Carla? And I was like, ah, I forgot right up,
but you're definitely coming on. Awesome. Thank you so much. This has
been so much fun. So thankyou. You're welcome anytime. Ask me
back, ask me absolutely, youhave to come back after you read paperbacks
from hell. You know what.It's a date, all right. Maybe

(01:16:59):
I can get Grady to come onand we can do a freeway gossip about
it. Ah, let's do it, all right. I want to talk
about that baby on that because I'mlike, some shit is going on with
that. Yeah, we'll call itbaby in a jaw. That's good,
all right, report back to meabout going to the movie. Okay,

(01:17:23):
we'll do it all right, seeyour princess. Thank you. Yeah.
Are you saying goodbye?

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