Being People-First Doesn’t Mean Being Passive—It Means Being Proactive

Title:
Being People-First Doesn’t Mean Being Passive—It Means Being Proactive

Episode Description:
Too many leaders confuse being people-first with being conflict-avoidant. In this episode, Colby Morris reframes that idea completely.

Great leaders don’t just react well to conflict—they prevent it. And they do that through consistent, structured one-on-ones that uncover tension before it escalates.

Drawing on insights from the One-on-One Meeting Series and the Conflict Series, Colby shares a real-world leadership story, introduces the Three Levels of Conflict Prevention, and breaks down practical ways to lead with proactive clarity instead of reactive clean-up.

If you care about people, lead a team, or want to strengthen your culture while scaling—this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why people-first doesn’t mean being soft or avoiding hard conversations
• How great one-on-ones help prevent most team conflict
• The Three Levels of Conflict Prevention every leader should know
• How to use energy, tone, and expectations as early warning signals
• How to apply the Four Quadrants to stay proactive as a leader

Tools and Takeaways:

• Use one-on-ones as a leadership intelligence system
• Ask: “Is there anything I should be aware of on the team?”
• Apply the 48-hour rule to avoid letting small problems grow
• Reinforce trust and alignment through the quadrant-based conversation model

Work With Colby:
Want help building leadership systems that prevent drama, drive clarity, and scale culture the right way? Colby Morris is available for:

• Executive coaching
• Leadership team development
• Corporate keynotes and training
• One-on-one and team communication system design

Start the conversation on LinkedIn or contact him via the webpage. 

• Colby's LinkedIn Profile
• Things Leaders Do Instagram

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello leaders and welcome back to the TLD podcast.
I'm Colby Morris.
Look.
Over the last few episodes,we've been deep in two of the
most important things a leadercan truly master running
effective one-on-ones andhandling tough conversations
with your team.
Here's what I've realized.

(00:21):
Those aren't two separatedisciplines.
They're part of the samestrategy, because great leaders
don't just handle conflict, theyprevent most of it before it
even happens.
And the tool they useStructured, intentional
one-on-ones.
This episode is about how thosetwo worlds collide and why

(00:44):
understanding this connectionmight be the most overlooked
leadership skill there is.
We're going to connecteverything we've covered in the
one-on-one series and theconflict series and reframe what
it really means to be apeople-first leader, and I
promise, if you lean in thisnext 15 minutes or so, this

(01:08):
episode will change the way youlead this week.
So let's go.
Let's start by killing a myththat's quietly wrecking teams.
Being people first meanskeeping the peace.
It doesn't.
It means creating clarity, notcomfort.
It means building trust, notavoiding discomfort.

(01:32):
And, most of all, it meansproactive leadership, not
passive management, because whenyou try to keep the peace
instead of saying the hard thing, to keep the peace instead of
saying the hard thing, you don'tprotect the relationship, you
avoid the responsibility.
And that's not people first,that's leader last.

(01:52):
Here's the truth.
People first.
Leaders address things early.
They don't wait for the fire.
They notice the smoke.
They build systems to catchtension before it turns into
resentment and one-on-ones.
Well, that's your system,that's your radar.
I had a team once where twopeople call them Sarah and Mike.

(02:16):
They seemed to be working finetogether.
Sarah was detailed,detail-driven, she was
thoughtful, cautious.
Mike, though, was fast-paced,big picture, he moved fast.
In the team meetings there wereno fireworks, there was no
tension.
But in the one-on-ones Istarted picking up signals.

(02:39):
Sarah mentioned that decisionswere feeling rushed.
Mike mentioned feelingfrustrated that things were
getting overanalyzed.
Individually nothing soundedlike a problem, but I could
sense friction was building.
So I did what proactiveleadership demands.
I leaned in early.
I asked Sarah what's yourexperience been like working

(03:04):
with Mike?
And then I asked Mike how'scollaboration feeling with Sarah
lately?
And sure enough, both werequietly frustrated and both were
holding back, and neither oneof them wanted to seem like a
complainer.
Look, if I had waited untilthat spilled over, that team
would have fractured.
But because I caught it early,we talked about it, we set some

(03:27):
boundaries.
We made a workflow thatrespected both their styles and
we moved forward.
No drama, no cleanup that'swhat happens when you lead
before there's a problem.
There are three levels ofconflict prevention, and here's
how I think about it.
Level one is connection.

(03:48):
This is where you do yourone-on-ones.
It's where your one-on-oneslive.
You build trust, understandpersonalities, you ask about
motivation and pressure points.
This is emotional equity.
And then level two is awareness.
It's where you start noticingchanges, energy shifts, tone

(04:12):
changes, hesitations.
You ask good questions andcatch friction when it's still
just a conversation and not aconfrontation.
And then level three isintervention.
This is where most leaders jumpin, but usually when
something's already broken.
But by then the damage isalready done.

(04:32):
It's fixable, sure, but it's ata higher cost.
If you're consistently showingup at level one and two, then
level three becomes theexception, not the norm.
I believe that your one-on-onesare a leadership intelligence
system, and here's what I'mlistening for in my one-on-ones.
First is energy shifts.

(04:54):
Is someone normally like upbeat, but suddenly quiet?
That's not random, that's data,language changes.
When someone shifts from we tothey or start saying things like
I don't care anymore, well,obviously that's a flag.
And then stress and overload.

(05:16):
If they're burning out, theywon't say it directly.
Okay, you'll hear it in howthey describe their day unspoken
expectations the phrase Ithought they were going to.
That is a conflict grenadewaiting to go off.
And here's the question I askin nearly every one-on-one hey,

(05:37):
is there anything happening onthe team that I should be aware
of, happening on the team that Ishould be aware of?
That's very different from anyproblems.
That's a loaded question.
But this question gives peoplepermission to tell you what's
off.
Okay, without feeling likethey're tattling.

(05:58):
If you followed our one-on-oneseries, you know the four
quadrants framework Maslow'sneeds.
Okay, check their energy andtheir engagement.
There's performance managementAre they tracking against SMART
goals?
Are the expectations clear?
Employee development are theygrowing?
Do they feel like they're beinginvested in?
And leader rounding are theyseen?
Are they stuck?

(06:19):
Are they being recognized?
All four of those quadrantsreduce friction before it
becomes conflict.
This is how you lead proactively.
This is how you build a culturewhere feedback is normal and,
hopefully, drama is rare.
All right, your leadershipchallenge.

(06:39):
Here's your move this week.
I want you to revisit yourone-on-one cadence.
Are they consistent?
Are you asking questions thatgive you team intelligence and
not just task updates feels off.
Okay, use that 48 hour rule.

(07:01):
If something's lingering, don'tlet it sit.
Bring it up gently but early,and then add this to your script
.
Help me understand how theteam's feeling lately.
Anything I should be payingattention to I want you to
understand.
It's not about being the officetherapist.
It's about leading withawareness and clarity.

(07:24):
You have a choice as a leader.
Okay, you can either stay closeenough for your people to catch
things early or you can waituntil things blow up and hope
you can contain it.
But trust me, proactiveleadership is lighter, faster
and it's far more effective.
If this episode shifted yourthinking and you want help

(07:45):
building leadership systems likethis whether it's coaching
keynotes for your leadershipteam or help designing
one-on-one frameworks, hey,connect with me on LinkedIn.
I'd love to be able to supportyou and if this gave you clarity
, please pass it on to anotherleader who needs it.
And do me a favor If you'refinding value from this, would

(08:06):
you subscribe to the show?
That helps me out a ton andhelps leaders like you get
better faster.
This kind of leadership createsalignment Okay, it prevents
conflict and it builds culture.
And you know why?
Because those are the thingsthat leaders do.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do.
If you're looking for more tipson how to be a better leader,
be sure to subscribe to thepodcast and listen to next
week's episode.
Until next time, keep workingon being a better leader by
doing the things that leaders do.