June 4, 2025 • 12 mins
Why Your One-on-Ones Aren’t Working—And How to Fix Them
Episode 1 of the One-on-One Meeting Series | The Things Leaders Do Podcast with Colby Morris
Most one-on-one meetings aren’t working—and deep down, you probably know it.
They’re rushed. Disorganized. Too focused on tasks. Or worse—nonexistent. And when that’s the case, you’re not leading… you’re reacting.
In this episode, Colby Morris breaks down why one-on-ones fail, why they matter more than you think, and a simple, proven 4-step structure that will help you transform these meetings into your most powerful leadership tool. Whether you manage 3 people or 30, this episode gives you a framework that actually works.
You’ll learn:
- Why bad one-on-ones erode trust, culture, and performance
- How intentional one-on-ones support people-first leadership
- A 4-part agenda that builds connection, alignment, and growth
- Why energy checks (like the “battery level” question) are key
- Real-world coaching questions and leadership prompts that move people forward
This is Episode 1 of our One-on-One Meeting Series—and it sets the foundation for everything that follows.
Leadership Challenge inside: Use this episode to structure your next one-on-one meeting.
Need support or a template? Connect with Colby directly on LinkedIn or by email to get the same one-on-one agenda and prompts he uses with his teams.
Follow the show
Most of our listeners aren’t subscribed—if that’s you, would you do us a favor and hit follow today? That’s how we reach more leaders and create real change in the workforce.
Colby is available for speaking
Interested in booking Colby for a keynote, team training, or leadership offsite? Reach out through LinkedIn or by email to learn more.
Connect with Colby Morris
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/colby-morris/
Email: colby@NXTStepAdvisors.com
Website: NXTStepAdvisors.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is the first episode in our one-on-one
meeting series.
I'm going to tell you somethingthat might sting just a little.
If you aren't having consistent, intentional one-on-ones with
your team, you're not leading,you're reacting.
And if you're listening to thispodcast, I know you're not a
passive leader.
(00:21):
You're someone who wants togrow, someone who wants to lead
better, faster.
Hey, leaders, I'm Colby Morris,coo, leadership coach,
fractional COO and I'm someonewho's led from just about every
chair in the org chart, from thefrontline supervisor to the
(00:43):
senior executive.
I've been in the weeds, I'veled the turnarounds and I've
built the cultures.
This podcast is short onpurpose.
You can knock it out on thedrive to work and you can start
implementing it before lunch.
We're talking real leadershipfor real results, so let's get
(01:08):
into it.
Let's start with the honesttruth A lot of one-on-ones.
They're not really leadership,they're calendar clutter.
There's no structure, nopreparation, no point was no
structure, no preparation, nopoint.
I once coached a manager let'scall him Jake, to protect the
(01:35):
innocent who thought theseone-on-ones were fine At least
he thought his were.
But his team was telling adifferent story.
They were disengaged and hecouldn't figure out why.
Turns out, his meetings werejust task check-ins no
connection, no growth.
Just did you finish that report?
Half his team was burning outand he missed it because he
(01:57):
wasn't really listening.
And that's dangerous.
Okay, when that's the norm, thedamage is real.
People start checking out,misalignment grows,
accountability fades.
I've seen it firsthand.
Leaders who skip or rushone-on-ones end up managing
(02:20):
outputs instead of buildingteams.
They think they're beingefficient, but what they're
really doing is just weakeningtrust and they're losing their
influence.
And when influence disappears,leadership goes with it.
But when one-on-ones are doneright, they're a game changer.
(02:40):
When one-on-ones are done right, they're a game changer.
They give you visibility, theybuild trust, they show your team
that you see them, not justtheir task list, not just their
results.
Because here's the deal youcan't be a people-first leader
if you don't know your peoplewell.
(03:04):
Imagine you're on a team andthe only time your boss talks to
you is when you mess up or atyour annual review.
How does that feel?
Probably like you're invisible,unless you screw up.
Okay, if the only time you hearor your employees hear from you
is during a performance reviewor when they've messed up,
(03:28):
you're not building culture,you're draining it.
Okay, let me share a quick story.
Early in my career, I had ateam member who just seemed off
you know, not really herself Ina one-on-one.
I asked a very simple question.
I said hey, what's going on foryou right now?
(03:50):
Turns out she was overwhelmedby a project we were working on.
But she didn't want to seemweak.
So we made some adjustments,adjusted our workload, and she
went from that quiet,not-saying-anything person to
one of my top performers.
(04:10):
That's the power of showing upand actually listening.
One-on-ones are where thatrelationship is built.
There were small concerns orsurfaced early.
It's where wins get celebrated.
It's where coaching actuallyhappens.
It's where coaching actuallyhappens.
Okay, it's in the moment, notsix months too late.
(04:36):
Now, if your one-on-ones havefelt flat or if you're not even
having them regularly, okay,I've got a framework you can
start using today.
It's simple, it's fast and itworks.
Here's how I run mine.
Step one I start with apersonal or energy check.
(05:00):
Okay, this isn't filler.
This is where you get a read onhow they're showing up.
I like to ask what's yourbattery level today?
Okay, like a phone, are they at85% and just cruising?
Or 22% and just barely hangingon?
(05:21):
Maybe they're at a hundredpercent and they're ready to
dive in.
That gives me a quick sense ofwhere they are mentally,
emotionally, even physically,okay.
Are they coasting at 85 ordrained at 22?
This tells me how much to push,how much to support, okay, and
(05:43):
whether this is a time forchallenge or just presence.
Does that make sense?
It's also a reminder that yousee them as a person, not just
as a performer.
Okay.
Step two I try to align on goalsand priorities.
Okay.
(06:04):
This is where you kind of cutthrough the noise.
You ask something like what'syour top priority right now?
Are there any blockers in yourway?
Is there anything I think isurgent that you're not even
thinking about?
That?
Last one is key.
That can reveal thatmisalignment real quick.
(06:25):
I once had a team member whowas just spinning his wheels on
a low priority project becausehe wasn't sure what I expected.
A quick alignment question whatsuccess looked like here?
That's what got us back ontrack.
It didn't seem like much, butwe were able to align.
(06:45):
Okay, don't assume because yousaid something in a team meeting
that it landed.
Okay.
One-on-ones are your chance tocheck for understanding and
adjust before the problems growAll right.
Step three coach and develop.
(07:06):
This is where a lot of leadersjust drop the ball.
They either skip it or theyconfuse it with giving feedback.
You're like Colby what's thedifference?
Well, think of it this wayFeedback is reactive.
Think of it this way Feedbackis reactive.
Coaching is proactive.
(07:26):
Coaching sounds like hey,what's a skill you want to get
stronger at this quarter?
Or can I share something I'venoticed that might help you
level up?
Or what's a bold move you canmake this quarter?
For example, I coached a leaderwho was great at execution but
(07:48):
shy about presenting to theexecutives.
And I wonder, when I askedwhat's one way you could own the
room in our next meeting, webrainstormed for a little while
and, honestly, she nailed hernext pitch.
This is where growth happens.
It's not just about fixingproblems, it's about building
(08:12):
capacity, about buildingcapability.
Great leaders don't justsupervise, they stretch people.
All right, let's move to stepfour Clear the roadblocks.
Ask something like hey, what'sslowing you down right now?
Is there something I can takeoff your plate to help move
(08:35):
things forward?
Okay, you're not there torescue them, but you are there
to make sure they're not stuck.
You know, spinning their wheelssomewhere because of something
you could have solved in youknow two minutes.
Removing friction is one of themost underutilized leadership
tools out there.
Sometimes it's processes,sometimes it's approvals,
(09:01):
sometimes it's just letting themvent for 90 seconds.
Whatever it is, this is yourchance to lean in.
So, to recap, your four-partframework is start with a
personal check-in, or batterycheck, align on priorities and
(09:23):
expectations, coach fordevelopment and then clear the
roadblocks.
Look, it doesn't need to be afull hour.
You can do this in 20 minutesif you're focused.
And once you do thisconsistently, the results are
obvious.
You know, your people feel seen, they feel supported, they feel
(09:44):
developed and you, you stopmanaging and you start doing
what Leading.
So what's next?
In episode two, we're going togo even deeper.
I'll show you how I rotate fourdifferent types of one-on-one
conversations over the course ofa month, so they don't go still
(10:06):
.
That includes Maslow basedneeds check-ins, employee
development goals, performanceaccountability and even leader
rounding.
I'll give you the cadence Irecommend based on how many
direct reports you have, becausebecause, let's be real what
works with four direct reportsbreaks down if you've got 12.
(10:26):
Okay.
So here's your leadershipchallenge.
Look at your calendar, scheduleyour next round of one-on-ones
and show up with this frameworkin mind.
Okay, and don't just listen toyour people.
Learn them, learn your people.
(10:48):
And if you want a copy of theframework or a sample agenda to
get things started, just shootme a message on LinkedIn or you
can email me.
That's all in the show notes.
I'm happy to share thedocuments I use myself and if
you found this episode helpful,do me a favor, send it to
another leader who needs it.
Okay, let's help raise that bartogether.
(11:11):
And hey, most of you listeningright now you're not subscribed
to the show.
Would you do me a quick favorand just hit that follow button?
That's how we get this in frontof more leaders and start
creating real change where itmatters at work, because
leadership isn't built in aboardroom, it's forged in
(11:31):
moments like this.
And you know why?
Because those are the thingsthat leaders do.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do.
If you're looking for more tipson how to be a better leader,
be sure to subscribe to thepodcast and listen to next
week's episode.
Until next time, keep workingon being a better leader by
doing the things that leaders do.
This is the first episode in our one-on-one
meeting series.
I'm going to tell you somethingthat might sting just a little.
If you aren't having consistent, intentional one-on-ones with
your team, you're not leading,you're reacting.
And if you're listening to thispodcast, I know you're not a
passive leader.
(00:21):
You're someone who wants togrow, someone who wants to lead
better, faster.
Hey, leaders, I'm Colby Morris,coo, leadership coach,
fractional COO and I'm someonewho's led from just about every
chair in the org chart, from thefrontline supervisor to the
(00:43):
senior executive.
I've been in the weeds, I'veled the turnarounds and I've
built the cultures.
This podcast is short onpurpose.
You can knock it out on thedrive to work and you can start
implementing it before lunch.
We're talking real leadershipfor real results, so let's get
(01:08):
into it.
Let's start with the honesttruth A lot of one-on-ones.
They're not really leadership,they're calendar clutter.
There's no structure, nopreparation, no point was no
structure, no preparation, nopoint.
I once coached a manager let'scall him Jake, to protect the
(01:35):
innocent who thought theseone-on-ones were fine At least
he thought his were.
But his team was telling adifferent story.
They were disengaged and hecouldn't figure out why.
Turns out, his meetings werejust task check-ins no
connection, no growth.
Just did you finish that report?
Half his team was burning outand he missed it because he
(01:57):
wasn't really listening.
And that's dangerous.
Okay, when that's the norm, thedamage is real.
People start checking out,misalignment grows,
accountability fades.
I've seen it firsthand.
Leaders who skip or rushone-on-ones end up managing
(02:20):
outputs instead of buildingteams.
They think they're beingefficient, but what they're
really doing is just weakeningtrust and they're losing their
influence.
And when influence disappears,leadership goes with it.
But when one-on-ones are doneright, they're a game changer.
(02:40):
When one-on-ones are done right, they're a game changer.
They give you visibility, theybuild trust, they show your team
that you see them, not justtheir task list, not just their
results.
Because here's the deal youcan't be a people-first leader
if you don't know your peoplewell.
(03:04):
Imagine you're on a team andthe only time your boss talks to
you is when you mess up or atyour annual review.
How does that feel?
Probably like you're invisible,unless you screw up.
Okay, if the only time you hearor your employees hear from you
is during a performance reviewor when they've messed up,
(03:28):
you're not building culture,you're draining it.
Okay, let me share a quick story.
Early in my career, I had ateam member who just seemed off
you know, not really herself Ina one-on-one.
I asked a very simple question.
I said hey, what's going on foryou right now?
(03:50):
Turns out she was overwhelmedby a project we were working on.
But she didn't want to seemweak.
So we made some adjustments,adjusted our workload, and she
went from that quiet,not-saying-anything person to
one of my top performers.
(04:10):
That's the power of showing upand actually listening.
One-on-ones are where thatrelationship is built.
There were small concerns orsurfaced early.
It's where wins get celebrated.
It's where coaching actuallyhappens.
It's where coaching actuallyhappens.
Okay, it's in the moment, notsix months too late.
(04:36):
Now, if your one-on-ones havefelt flat or if you're not even
having them regularly, okay,I've got a framework you can
start using today.
It's simple, it's fast and itworks.
Here's how I run mine.
Step one I start with apersonal or energy check.
(05:00):
Okay, this isn't filler.
This is where you get a read onhow they're showing up.
I like to ask what's yourbattery level today?
Okay, like a phone, are they at85% and just cruising?
Or 22% and just barely hangingon?
(05:21):
Maybe they're at a hundredpercent and they're ready to
dive in.
That gives me a quick sense ofwhere they are mentally,
emotionally, even physically,okay.
Are they coasting at 85 ordrained at 22?
This tells me how much to push,how much to support, okay, and
(05:43):
whether this is a time forchallenge or just presence.
Does that make sense?
It's also a reminder that yousee them as a person, not just
as a performer.
Okay.
Step two I try to align on goalsand priorities.
Okay.
(06:04):
This is where you kind of cutthrough the noise.
You ask something like what'syour top priority right now?
Are there any blockers in yourway?
Is there anything I think isurgent that you're not even
thinking about?
That?
Last one is key.
That can reveal thatmisalignment real quick.
(06:25):
I once had a team member whowas just spinning his wheels on
a low priority project becausehe wasn't sure what I expected.
A quick alignment question whatsuccess looked like here?
That's what got us back ontrack.
It didn't seem like much, butwe were able to align.
(06:45):
Okay, don't assume because yousaid something in a team meeting
that it landed.
Okay.
One-on-ones are your chance tocheck for understanding and
adjust before the problems growAll right.
Step three coach and develop.
(07:06):
This is where a lot of leadersjust drop the ball.
They either skip it or theyconfuse it with giving feedback.
You're like Colby what's thedifference?
Well, think of it this wayFeedback is reactive.
Think of it this way Feedbackis reactive.
Coaching is proactive.
(07:26):
Coaching sounds like hey,what's a skill you want to get
stronger at this quarter?
Or can I share something I'venoticed that might help you
level up?
Or what's a bold move you canmake this quarter?
For example, I coached a leaderwho was great at execution but
(07:48):
shy about presenting to theexecutives.
And I wonder, when I askedwhat's one way you could own the
room in our next meeting, webrainstormed for a little while
and, honestly, she nailed hernext pitch.
This is where growth happens.
It's not just about fixingproblems, it's about building
(08:12):
capacity, about buildingcapability.
Great leaders don't justsupervise, they stretch people.
All right, let's move to stepfour Clear the roadblocks.
Ask something like hey, what'sslowing you down right now?
Is there something I can takeoff your plate to help move
(08:35):
things forward?
Okay, you're not there torescue them, but you are there
to make sure they're not stuck.
You know, spinning their wheelssomewhere because of something
you could have solved in youknow two minutes.
Removing friction is one of themost underutilized leadership
tools out there.
Sometimes it's processes,sometimes it's approvals,
(09:01):
sometimes it's just letting themvent for 90 seconds.
Whatever it is, this is yourchance to lean in.
So, to recap, your four-partframework is start with a
personal check-in, or batterycheck, align on priorities and
(09:23):
expectations, coach fordevelopment and then clear the
roadblocks.
Look, it doesn't need to be afull hour.
You can do this in 20 minutesif you're focused.
And once you do thisconsistently, the results are
obvious.
You know, your people feel seen, they feel supported, they feel
(09:44):
developed and you, you stopmanaging and you start doing
what Leading.
So what's next?
In episode two, we're going togo even deeper.
I'll show you how I rotate fourdifferent types of one-on-one
conversations over the course ofa month, so they don't go still
(10:06):
.
That includes Maslow basedneeds check-ins, employee
development goals, performanceaccountability and even leader
rounding.
I'll give you the cadence Irecommend based on how many
direct reports you have, becausebecause, let's be real what
works with four direct reportsbreaks down if you've got 12.
(10:26):
Okay.
So here's your leadershipchallenge.
Look at your calendar, scheduleyour next round of one-on-ones
and show up with this frameworkin mind.
Okay, and don't just listen toyour people.
Learn them, learn your people.
(10:48):
And if you want a copy of theframework or a sample agenda to
get things started, just shootme a message on LinkedIn or you
can email me.
That's all in the show notes.
I'm happy to share thedocuments I use myself and if
you found this episode helpful,do me a favor, send it to
another leader who needs it.
Okay, let's help raise that bartogether.
(11:11):
And hey, most of you listeningright now you're not subscribed
to the show.
Would you do me a quick favorand just hit that follow button?
That's how we get this in frontof more leaders and start
creating real change where itmatters at work, because
leadership isn't built in aboardroom, it's forged in
(11:31):
moments like this.
And you know why?
Because those are the thingsthat leaders do.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do.
If you're looking for more tipson how to be a better leader,
be sure to subscribe to thepodcast and listen to next
week's episode.
Until next time, keep workingon being a better leader by
doing the things that leaders do.
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