August 11, 2025 • 20 mins
If you’ve ever said, “Because I said so” in a meeting, you might be leading like it’s still 1989.
In this episode of Things Leaders Do, Colby Morris calls out his own generation—Gen X leaders—for the outdated habits that are quietly holding teams back.
With a mix of self-awareness, humor, and hard truth, you’ll discover:
- Why clinging to old leadership habits kills engagement—and how to evolve without losing your identity
- How “professional distance” is eroding trust, and the simple shift that builds credibility fast
- Why tenure doesn’t equal trust—and what earns it instead
- How feedback (or the lack of it) is shaping your culture more than you realize
- Why your work ethic might be intimidating your team instead of inspiring them
Drawing from insights by John Maxwell, Patrick Lencioni, Simon Sinek, and research from Harvard Business Review, this episode is packed with actionable “do this instead” strategies.
You’ll walk away with:
- A 7-day habit experiment to keep your leadership fresh
- A quick method to bring appropriate vulnerability into your team conversations
- A simple formula for delivering meaningful feedback every week
Gen X leaders have a lot to be proud of—but thriving today means challenging the habits that no longer serve you or your team.
For more people-first leadership tools, visit nxtstepadvisors.com.
Connect with Colby on LinkedIn
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
People First.
Leadership, actionablestrategies, real results this is
Things Leaders Do with ColbyMorris.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
If you've ever said because I said so in a meeting
congratulations.
You've just transported yourteam straight back to 1989.
Right alongside your trapperkeeper and that questionable
mullet you're trying to forget.
And if you've ever caughtyourself thinking these younger
employees just don't get it, letme let you in on just a little
(00:32):
secret.
They probably get it just fine,they just don't get you.
Hey, leaders, I'm Colby Morris,and this is Things Leaders Do,
where we tackle real leadershipchallenges with real solutions.
And today I'm calling out myown people, gen X leaders, and
(00:53):
I'm doing it because I've madeevery single mistake I'm about
to share with you.
Think of me as your leadershipintervention specialist, except,
instead of staging anintervention about your Nirvana
vinyl collection, I'm here tohelp you stop leading like it's
back in the Clintonadministration.
So let's have a little fun, bea little self-aware and get
(01:16):
brutally honest about five bigleadership blind spots that I
think Gen X needs to drop,starting now.
Blind spot number one thecomfort zone problem.
Look, we love what's familiar.
We've been leading teams foryears, sometimes decades, and we
think, hey, if it's worked thislong, why change?
(01:36):
It's like still using MapQuestwhen everyone else has maps on
their iPhone.
Sure, it technically gets there, but you're going to miss a lot
of shortcuts.
But here's the reality.
What worked for us in 2005might be the very thing holding
us back in 2025.
(01:58):
Back then, we could leave withthe same energy as a Blockbuster
manager telling people latefees were non-negotiable.
But, spoiler alert, blockbusterisn't around anymore.
John Maxwell says the greatestenemy of tomorrow's success is
today's success, and he's right.
I mean passive wins can make uslazy.
(02:19):
They've made me complacent andeven more resistant to change
than a teenager being asked toclean their room.
Here's what I see happening allthe time.
A Gen X leader comes into a newrole and immediately starts
implementing the same playbookthey've used for the last 15
years Same meeting structure,same communication style, same
(02:43):
decision-making process.
That worked great when peoplestill had pagers.
And then they wonder why theirteam seems so disengaged.
The danger is this when youstop evolving, your team stops
engaging, and when your teamstops engaging, your leadership
no longer matters.
I had a client recently whoprided himself on running
(03:08):
efficient meetings, which to himmeant he talked for 45 minutes
and asked for questions at theend.
He'd been doing it that way for20 years, but what he didn't
realize was his team had checkedout in the first 10 minutes.
They weren't learning, theyweren't contributing, they
definitely weren't bought in.
So we shifted to a morecollaborative format shorter
(03:30):
updates, more discussion, actualproblem solving together, and
suddenly his meetings became themost productive hour of
everyone's week.
So here's what you need to doinstead Every quarter, audit
your leadership habits.
Ask yourself two simplequestions what's still producing
(03:50):
real results and what's justtraditional, with no real ROI
anymore?
And then make one intentionalchange.
It doesn't have to be huge.
Just prove to yourself and yourteam that you're still willing
to grow.
All right.
Blind spot number two we're tooprivate for our own good.
(04:12):
We were taught to keep work andfeelings separate.
Don't overshare, don't get soft.
Keep your personal stuff athome.
Basically, we learned tocommunicate with all the
emotional depth of a Windows 95error message.
Here's the problem with thatapproach.
Patrick Lanchoni callsvulnerability-based trust the
(04:33):
foundation of every healthy team.
If your people don't feel safebeing open with you, they're not
giving you their best ideas,their honest feedback or their
real engagement.
Okay, they're giving you theworkplace equivalent of fine
when your spouse asks how yourday was, and you know that fine,
(04:59):
the one.
That means anything but fine.
I learned this lesson the hardway early in my leadership
career.
We had this massive projectthat was personally important to
me.
It was tied to a client I'dbeen trying to land for years
and, honestly, landing it wouldhave been a huge career win.
But I never told my team any ofthat context.
I treated it like any othertask on the list, with about as
(05:19):
much emotional expression asKeanu Reeves in the Matrix.
And guess what happened?
They treated it that way, theexact same way, like it didn't
really matter.
The project completely derailedbecause nobody understood the
stakes.
They had no idea why I was soinvested, so they weren't
invested either.
(05:41):
Here's what I should have done.
I should have said, said look,I want you to know why this
project matters to me personally.
This client represents the kindof work I've been wanting to do
for our company and if we nailthis, it opens doors for all of
us.
I'm not asking you to care asmuch as I do, but I'm asking you
to understand why I'm sofocused on getting this right.
That's not oversharing, that'snot being soft.
(06:04):
That's giving your team thecontext they need to understand
your leadership decisions.
Do this instead share the whybehind your decisions.
Let them see that you care.
They don't see that you'rehuman, controlled.
Vulnerability doesn't make youweak, it makes you credible and
relatable.
(06:35):
Blind spot number threemistaking tenure for trust.
We think respect comesautomatically with years on the
job.
We've put in our time, we'vepaid our dues, we've earned our
stripes, so people should justnaturally follow us.
Right, it's like expectingpeople to still be impressed
that you own the firstPlayStation.
Cool story, but what have youdone lately?
Simon Sinek's Start With whyreminds us that we don't buy
(07:00):
what you do.
Okay, they buy why you do it.
The same is true for leadership.
They don't follow you becauseyou've been in the game for 20
years or because you rememberwhen email was new.
They follow you because theybelieve in you for what you
stand for.
I've seen this all the time withexperienced leaders.
(07:21):
You know the ones who aregetting frustrated when their
authority is questioned or whenteam members push back on
decisions.
Their first instinct is just topull rank.
I've been doing this sincebefore you were born, or when
you have my experience, then youcan question my judgment.
It's the workplace equivalentof when I was your age.
(07:42):
I walked uphill both ways toschool.
That kind of response doesn'tbuild followership.
No-transcript.
Here's a story that illustratesthis perfectly.
I was working with a VP who had30 years of experience in his
industry.
Brilliant guy, knew his stuffinside and out, but he was
(08:07):
struggling with a team ofyounger managers who seemed to
just want to challenge everydecision he made.
His frustration was boilingover.
One day he told me they don'trespect experience anymore.
They think they know everything.
So I asked him when's the lasttime you explained your
reasoning to them, not just whatyou decided, but why you
(08:29):
decided it?
Long pause.
I shouldn't have to explainmyself.
My track record speaks foritself.
That was the problem rightthere.
His track record might speakfor itself in his mind, but it
was invisible to his team.
They couldn't see his thoughtprocess, his previous successes
(08:51):
or the wisdom behind hisdecisions.
All they saw was someone makingproclamations without
explanation.
So do this instead.
Earn influence daily.
Show up with consistency,deliver on your promises, lead
from your values, not just yourresume, and when you make
decisions, help peopleunderstand your reasoning.
(09:12):
Your experience is an asset,yes, but only if you make it
accessible to others.
Blind spot number four Feedbackis a foreign language.
We grew up in a no news is goodnews culture.
If the boss wasn't yelling atus, we figured we were doing
(09:34):
fine.
Annual performance reviews werepretty much the only time
anyone talked about how we weredoing, kind of like only calling
your parents on holidays andthen wondering why the
relationship feels distant.
Yeah, that approach doesn'twork anymore and, honestly, it
never worked that well to beginwith.
Harvard Business Review foundthat employees who get regular,
(09:57):
meaningful feedback are threetimes more engaged than those
who don't.
Three times that's not a smalldifference.
That's the difference between ateam that's going through the
motions and a team that'sgenuinely invested in their work
.
It's the difference between aTamagotchi that's thriving and
(10:25):
one that's well, let's just sayit's not getting fed enough
attention.
I've lost good people simplybecause I assumed they knew I
valued them.
I never said it out loud.
I figured my actions spoke forthemselves.
I gave them good projects.
I included them in importantmeetings.
I gave them good projects.
I included them in importantmeetings.
I trusted them withresponsibility, but apparently I
(10:49):
was speaking in a leadershiplanguage as unclear as dial-up
internet sounds to a Gen Z kid.
One person in particular stillhaunts me.
She was doing great work,exceeding expectations, really
becoming a key player on theteam, but she left for another
opportunity because, as she putit in her exit interview, I
never really knew if I was doinga good job here.
I felt like I was alwayswondering where I stood.
(11:15):
That one hit me hard because inmy mind she was one of my top
performers.
But I also never told her that.
I'd never given her specificfeedback about what she was
doing well or how she could groweven further.
Here's the thing about feedbackit's not just about correction,
it's about connection.
(11:37):
It's about showing people thatyou're paying attention, that
you care about their growth andthat you see their potential.
Do this instead.
Give short, specific feedbackevery week.
Make it normal, make itexpected, make it about growth
and not just correction.
Oh, and here's the key Makesure you're giving positive
(11:59):
feedback just as often asconstructive feedback.
People need to know whatthey're doing well, not just
what needs to be fixed.
Blind spot number five Our workethic can become a weapon.
We pride ourselves on beingfirst in, last out.
(12:22):
We wear our long hours like abadge of honor, the same way we
used to show off how many CDs wecould fit in that giant case
organizer.
We push through exhaustion,skip vacations and sacrifice
personal time because, well,that's what dedication looks
like, right?
Here's the problem.
When we treat exhaustion as abadge of honor, we send a
(12:46):
dangerous message to our team Ifyou want to succeed here,
prepare to sacrifice your health, your relationship and your
sanity.
Yeah, it's like telling themthe only way to win and to play
a video game on the hardestdifficulty setting, with no
cheat codes.
That's not leadership, that'sburnout in disguise with a
(13:08):
business card.
I fell into this trap early inmy career, as probably most of
you did.
I was working 70-hour weeks,answering emails at midnight
like I was some kind ofcorporate night owl, taking
(13:29):
calls during family dinners, andI expected my team to match
that energy.
When they didn't, I questionedtheir commitment.
I was basically the workplaceequivalent of that friend who
brags about only sleeping fourhours a night.
Yeah, what I didn't realize wasthat I wasn't modeling
excellence, I was modelingdysfunction.
My team wasn't inspired by mywork ethic.
(13:52):
They were intimidated by it.
Some of them started workinglonger hours just to keep up,
even when it wasn't necessary.
Others started looking for jobsat companies with healthier
cultures because, you know,probably telling their friends
my boss thinks work-life balanceis a myth, like Bigfoot or
affordable health care.
The wake-up call came when oneof my best team members quit.
(14:18):
In her exit conversation, shesaid I love the work and I
respect you, but I can't keep upwith the pace you set.
I have a family and I want tobe present for them.
That's when I realized that mywork ethic had become a barrier
to building the kind of team Iactually wanted to lead, that my
work ethic had become a barrierto building the kind of team I
(14:39):
actually wanted to lead.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not advocating for loweringstandards or accepting
mediocrity.
I'm talking about modelingsustainable excellence.
I'm going to say that one moretime.
I'm not advocating for lowerstandards or accepting
mediocrity.
I'm talking about modelingsustainable excellence, showing
(15:01):
your team that you can performat a high level and still, yes,
have a life.
Do this instead.
Model sustainable excellence.
Show your team that you candeliver exceptional results
without sacrificing everythingelse that matters.
Take your vacation days, leavethe office at a reasonable hour
(15:22):
most nights.
Demonstrate that successdoesn't require martyrdom.
Here's the truth.
Healthy leaders build healthyteams, and healthy teams
consistently outperform burnedout teams over the long haul.
(15:42):
So here's your action plan forthe week.
I want to make it practical.
So here are three things youcan do this week to start
addressing these blind spots.
First, find your outdated habit, pick one.
This is how I've always done itbelief and run a seven-day
experiment.
Maybe it's how long you runyour team meetings.
(16:04):
Are you still doing PowerPointpresentations that would make a
1990s corporate trainer proud?
Maybe it's how you communicatedecisions.
Maybe it's how you structureyour one-on-ones.
Whatever it is, try somethingnew for one week and see what
happens.
The key here is to picksomething small enough that you
can actually test it, but alsosignificant enough that you can
(16:25):
actually test it, but alsosignificant enough that you'll
notice if it makes a difference.
Think of it as like a softwareupdate for your leadership
operating system, okay.
Second, I want you to have avulnerability moment In your
next team meeting.
Share one challenge you'reworking through as a leader and
(16:46):
what you're doing to solve it.
This isn't about oversharing ormaking yourself look weak.
It's about showing your teamthat you're human and that
you're committed to growing.
You don't need to go full Oprahhere, but a little enthusiastic
transparency goes a long way.
For example, you might saysomething like I've been
(17:06):
reflecting on my leadershipstyle lately and I realize I
don't always explain reasoningbehind my decisions.
I'm working on being moretransparent about that thought
process because I want you tounderstand not just what we're
doing but why we're doing it.
See Vulnerable, but not TMIeither.
See Vulnerable but not TMIeither.
(17:27):
Third, I want you to run afeedback sprint.
Give one of your direct reportsone piece of meaningful,
actionable feedback this week.
It can be positive orconstructive.
Just make it specific anduseful.
Don't wait for the annualreview, like you're waiting for
(17:49):
your next season of yourfavorite show that got canceled
in the 90s and somehow came back.
Don't wait for the perfectmoment.
Don't overthink it.
Just find one thing each personis doing well or one area where
they could grow and share itwith them.
Here's a simple formula.
I noticed specific behavior,outcome.
The impact was positive resultor area for improvement, going
(18:11):
forward.
I'd like you to continue doingthis or trying this instead.
So here's my question for youwhich of these blind spots hits
closest to home and, moreimportantly, what's your plan to
fix it hits closest to home and, more importantly, what's your
plan to fix it?
Look, being a Gen X leader intoday's workplace, that's not
(18:35):
easy.
We're navigating changes wenever saw coming, leading people
who think differently than wedo and trying to stay relevant
in a world that seems to changeso fast, like it's the fashion
trends in the 90s.
But here's what I've learnedthe leaders who thrive aren't
the ones who resist change, likethey're still defending the
superiority of mixtapes.
(18:57):
They're the ones who staycurious, they stay humble and
they're willing to evolve.
I want to thank all of you forjoining me.
If you would do me a favor andleave a review, I would greatly
appreciate it.
And if you'd share this withanother Gen X leader, or maybe
(19:18):
someone who works for a Gen Xleader and they're just trying
to understand them, okay.
And if you are looking forcoaching, if you're looking for
a keynote speaker, I do all that.
You can find me atnextstepadvisorscom.
That's N-X-T.
There's no E there.
Nextstepadvisorscom.
Or, hey, connect with me onLinkedIn.
(19:38):
All these links are in the shownotes.
Getting a ton of followers onLinkedIn.
We're having some greatconversations, in fact.
Show notes getting a ton offollowers on LinkedIn.
We're having some greatconversations, in fact.
In a couple of weeks I'm goingto have the 100th episode.
Show will be a Q&A.
If you have any of those, I'dlove to hear from you.
Drop some questions in thecomments and I'll maybe make
those one of the ones that Ianswer.
Again, thank you for listeningto the TLD podcast.
(20:02):
I'm Colby Morris.
Go out there, keep leading withhumility.
Evolving to the TLD podcast.
I'm Colby Morris.
Go out there, keep leading withhumility, evolving with purpose
and challenging outdated habits.
And you know why?
Because those are the thingsthat leaders do.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do.
If you're looking for more tipson how to be a better leader,
be sure to subscribe to thepodcast and listen to next
week's episode.
Until next time, keep workingon being a better leader by
doing the things that leaders do
People First.
Leadership, actionablestrategies, real results this is
Things Leaders Do with ColbyMorris.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
If you've ever said because I said so in a meeting
congratulations.
You've just transported yourteam straight back to 1989.
Right alongside your trapperkeeper and that questionable
mullet you're trying to forget.
And if you've ever caughtyourself thinking these younger
employees just don't get it, letme let you in on just a little
(00:32):
secret.
They probably get it just fine,they just don't get you.
Hey, leaders, I'm Colby Morris,and this is Things Leaders Do,
where we tackle real leadershipchallenges with real solutions.
And today I'm calling out myown people, gen X leaders, and
(00:53):
I'm doing it because I've madeevery single mistake I'm about
to share with you.
Think of me as your leadershipintervention specialist, except,
instead of staging anintervention about your Nirvana
vinyl collection, I'm here tohelp you stop leading like it's
back in the Clintonadministration.
So let's have a little fun, bea little self-aware and get
(01:16):
brutally honest about five bigleadership blind spots that I
think Gen X needs to drop,starting now.
Blind spot number one thecomfort zone problem.
Look, we love what's familiar.
We've been leading teams foryears, sometimes decades, and we
think, hey, if it's worked thislong, why change?
(01:36):
It's like still using MapQuestwhen everyone else has maps on
their iPhone.
Sure, it technically gets there, but you're going to miss a lot
of shortcuts.
But here's the reality.
What worked for us in 2005might be the very thing holding
us back in 2025.
(01:58):
Back then, we could leave withthe same energy as a Blockbuster
manager telling people latefees were non-negotiable.
But, spoiler alert, blockbusterisn't around anymore.
John Maxwell says the greatestenemy of tomorrow's success is
today's success, and he's right.
I mean passive wins can make uslazy.
(02:19):
They've made me complacent andeven more resistant to change
than a teenager being asked toclean their room.
Here's what I see happening allthe time.
A Gen X leader comes into a newrole and immediately starts
implementing the same playbookthey've used for the last 15
years Same meeting structure,same communication style, same
(02:43):
decision-making process.
That worked great when peoplestill had pagers.
And then they wonder why theirteam seems so disengaged.
The danger is this when youstop evolving, your team stops
engaging, and when your teamstops engaging, your leadership
no longer matters.
I had a client recently whoprided himself on running
(03:08):
efficient meetings, which to himmeant he talked for 45 minutes
and asked for questions at theend.
He'd been doing it that way for20 years, but what he didn't
realize was his team had checkedout in the first 10 minutes.
They weren't learning, theyweren't contributing, they
definitely weren't bought in.
So we shifted to a morecollaborative format shorter
(03:30):
updates, more discussion, actualproblem solving together, and
suddenly his meetings became themost productive hour of
everyone's week.
So here's what you need to doinstead Every quarter, audit
your leadership habits.
Ask yourself two simplequestions what's still producing
(03:50):
real results and what's justtraditional, with no real ROI
anymore?
And then make one intentionalchange.
It doesn't have to be huge.
Just prove to yourself and yourteam that you're still willing
to grow.
All right.
Blind spot number two we're tooprivate for our own good.
(04:12):
We were taught to keep work andfeelings separate.
Don't overshare, don't get soft.
Keep your personal stuff athome.
Basically, we learned tocommunicate with all the
emotional depth of a Windows 95error message.
Here's the problem with thatapproach.
Patrick Lanchoni callsvulnerability-based trust the
(04:33):
foundation of every healthy team.
If your people don't feel safebeing open with you, they're not
giving you their best ideas,their honest feedback or their
real engagement.
Okay, they're giving you theworkplace equivalent of fine
when your spouse asks how yourday was, and you know that fine,
(04:59):
the one.
That means anything but fine.
I learned this lesson the hardway early in my leadership
career.
We had this massive projectthat was personally important to
me.
It was tied to a client I'dbeen trying to land for years
and, honestly, landing it wouldhave been a huge career win.
But I never told my team any ofthat context.
I treated it like any othertask on the list, with about as
(05:19):
much emotional expression asKeanu Reeves in the Matrix.
And guess what happened?
They treated it that way, theexact same way, like it didn't
really matter.
The project completely derailedbecause nobody understood the
stakes.
They had no idea why I was soinvested, so they weren't
invested either.
(05:41):
Here's what I should have done.
I should have said, said look,I want you to know why this
project matters to me personally.
This client represents the kindof work I've been wanting to do
for our company and if we nailthis, it opens doors for all of
us.
I'm not asking you to care asmuch as I do, but I'm asking you
to understand why I'm sofocused on getting this right.
That's not oversharing, that'snot being soft.
(06:04):
That's giving your team thecontext they need to understand
your leadership decisions.
Do this instead share the whybehind your decisions.
Let them see that you care.
They don't see that you'rehuman, controlled.
Vulnerability doesn't make youweak, it makes you credible and
relatable.
(06:35):
Blind spot number threemistaking tenure for trust.
We think respect comesautomatically with years on the
job.
We've put in our time, we'vepaid our dues, we've earned our
stripes, so people should justnaturally follow us.
Right, it's like expectingpeople to still be impressed
that you own the firstPlayStation.
Cool story, but what have youdone lately?
Simon Sinek's Start With whyreminds us that we don't buy
(07:00):
what you do.
Okay, they buy why you do it.
The same is true for leadership.
They don't follow you becauseyou've been in the game for 20
years or because you rememberwhen email was new.
They follow you because theybelieve in you for what you
stand for.
I've seen this all the time withexperienced leaders.
(07:21):
You know the ones who aregetting frustrated when their
authority is questioned or whenteam members push back on
decisions.
Their first instinct is just topull rank.
I've been doing this sincebefore you were born, or when
you have my experience, then youcan question my judgment.
It's the workplace equivalentof when I was your age.
(07:42):
I walked uphill both ways toschool.
That kind of response doesn'tbuild followership.
No-transcript.
Here's a story that illustratesthis perfectly.
I was working with a VP who had30 years of experience in his
industry.
Brilliant guy, knew his stuffinside and out, but he was
(08:07):
struggling with a team ofyounger managers who seemed to
just want to challenge everydecision he made.
His frustration was boilingover.
One day he told me they don'trespect experience anymore.
They think they know everything.
So I asked him when's the lasttime you explained your
reasoning to them, not just whatyou decided, but why you
(08:29):
decided it?
Long pause.
I shouldn't have to explainmyself.
My track record speaks foritself.
That was the problem rightthere.
His track record might speakfor itself in his mind, but it
was invisible to his team.
They couldn't see his thoughtprocess, his previous successes
(08:51):
or the wisdom behind hisdecisions.
All they saw was someone makingproclamations without
explanation.
So do this instead.
Earn influence daily.
Show up with consistency,deliver on your promises, lead
from your values, not just yourresume, and when you make
decisions, help peopleunderstand your reasoning.
(09:12):
Your experience is an asset,yes, but only if you make it
accessible to others.
Blind spot number four Feedbackis a foreign language.
We grew up in a no news is goodnews culture.
If the boss wasn't yelling atus, we figured we were doing
(09:34):
fine.
Annual performance reviews werepretty much the only time
anyone talked about how we weredoing, kind of like only calling
your parents on holidays andthen wondering why the
relationship feels distant.
Yeah, that approach doesn'twork anymore and, honestly, it
never worked that well to beginwith.
Harvard Business Review foundthat employees who get regular,
(09:57):
meaningful feedback are threetimes more engaged than those
who don't.
Three times that's not a smalldifference.
That's the difference between ateam that's going through the
motions and a team that'sgenuinely invested in their work
.
It's the difference between aTamagotchi that's thriving and
(10:25):
one that's well, let's just sayit's not getting fed enough
attention.
I've lost good people simplybecause I assumed they knew I
valued them.
I never said it out loud.
I figured my actions spoke forthemselves.
I gave them good projects.
I included them in importantmeetings.
I gave them good projects.
I included them in importantmeetings.
I trusted them withresponsibility, but apparently I
(10:49):
was speaking in a leadershiplanguage as unclear as dial-up
internet sounds to a Gen Z kid.
One person in particular stillhaunts me.
She was doing great work,exceeding expectations, really
becoming a key player on theteam, but she left for another
opportunity because, as she putit in her exit interview, I
never really knew if I was doinga good job here.
I felt like I was alwayswondering where I stood.
(11:15):
That one hit me hard because inmy mind she was one of my top
performers.
But I also never told her that.
I'd never given her specificfeedback about what she was
doing well or how she could groweven further.
Here's the thing about feedbackit's not just about correction,
it's about connection.
(11:37):
It's about showing people thatyou're paying attention, that
you care about their growth andthat you see their potential.
Do this instead.
Give short, specific feedbackevery week.
Make it normal, make itexpected, make it about growth
and not just correction.
Oh, and here's the key Makesure you're giving positive
(11:59):
feedback just as often asconstructive feedback.
People need to know whatthey're doing well, not just
what needs to be fixed.
Blind spot number five Our workethic can become a weapon.
We pride ourselves on beingfirst in, last out.
(12:22):
We wear our long hours like abadge of honor, the same way we
used to show off how many CDs wecould fit in that giant case
organizer.
We push through exhaustion,skip vacations and sacrifice
personal time because, well,that's what dedication looks
like, right?
Here's the problem.
When we treat exhaustion as abadge of honor, we send a
(12:46):
dangerous message to our team Ifyou want to succeed here,
prepare to sacrifice your health, your relationship and your
sanity.
Yeah, it's like telling themthe only way to win and to play
a video game on the hardestdifficulty setting, with no
cheat codes.
That's not leadership, that'sburnout in disguise with a
(13:08):
business card.
I fell into this trap early inmy career, as probably most of
you did.
I was working 70-hour weeks,answering emails at midnight
like I was some kind ofcorporate night owl, taking
(13:29):
calls during family dinners, andI expected my team to match
that energy.
When they didn't, I questionedtheir commitment.
I was basically the workplaceequivalent of that friend who
brags about only sleeping fourhours a night.
Yeah, what I didn't realize wasthat I wasn't modeling
excellence, I was modelingdysfunction.
My team wasn't inspired by mywork ethic.
(13:52):
They were intimidated by it.
Some of them started workinglonger hours just to keep up,
even when it wasn't necessary.
Others started looking for jobsat companies with healthier
cultures because, you know,probably telling their friends
my boss thinks work-life balanceis a myth, like Bigfoot or
affordable health care.
The wake-up call came when oneof my best team members quit.
(14:18):
In her exit conversation, shesaid I love the work and I
respect you, but I can't keep upwith the pace you set.
I have a family and I want tobe present for them.
That's when I realized that mywork ethic had become a barrier
to building the kind of team Iactually wanted to lead, that my
work ethic had become a barrierto building the kind of team I
(14:39):
actually wanted to lead.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not advocating for loweringstandards or accepting
mediocrity.
I'm talking about modelingsustainable excellence.
I'm going to say that one moretime.
I'm not advocating for lowerstandards or accepting
mediocrity.
I'm talking about modelingsustainable excellence, showing
(15:01):
your team that you can performat a high level and still, yes,
have a life.
Do this instead.
Model sustainable excellence.
Show your team that you candeliver exceptional results
without sacrificing everythingelse that matters.
Take your vacation days, leavethe office at a reasonable hour
(15:22):
most nights.
Demonstrate that successdoesn't require martyrdom.
Here's the truth.
Healthy leaders build healthyteams, and healthy teams
consistently outperform burnedout teams over the long haul.
(15:42):
So here's your action plan forthe week.
I want to make it practical.
So here are three things youcan do this week to start
addressing these blind spots.
First, find your outdated habit, pick one.
This is how I've always done itbelief and run a seven-day
experiment.
Maybe it's how long you runyour team meetings.
(16:04):
Are you still doing PowerPointpresentations that would make a
1990s corporate trainer proud?
Maybe it's how you communicatedecisions.
Maybe it's how you structureyour one-on-ones.
Whatever it is, try somethingnew for one week and see what
happens.
The key here is to picksomething small enough that you
can actually test it, but alsosignificant enough that you can
(16:25):
actually test it, but alsosignificant enough that you'll
notice if it makes a difference.
Think of it as like a softwareupdate for your leadership
operating system, okay.
Second, I want you to have avulnerability moment In your
next team meeting.
Share one challenge you'reworking through as a leader and
(16:46):
what you're doing to solve it.
This isn't about oversharing ormaking yourself look weak.
It's about showing your teamthat you're human and that
you're committed to growing.
You don't need to go full Oprahhere, but a little enthusiastic
transparency goes a long way.
For example, you might saysomething like I've been
(17:06):
reflecting on my leadershipstyle lately and I realize I
don't always explain reasoningbehind my decisions.
I'm working on being moretransparent about that thought
process because I want you tounderstand not just what we're
doing but why we're doing it.
See Vulnerable, but not TMIeither.
See Vulnerable but not TMIeither.
(17:27):
Third, I want you to run afeedback sprint.
Give one of your direct reportsone piece of meaningful,
actionable feedback this week.
It can be positive orconstructive.
Just make it specific anduseful.
Don't wait for the annualreview, like you're waiting for
(17:49):
your next season of yourfavorite show that got canceled
in the 90s and somehow came back.
Don't wait for the perfectmoment.
Don't overthink it.
Just find one thing each personis doing well or one area where
they could grow and share itwith them.
Here's a simple formula.
I noticed specific behavior,outcome.
The impact was positive resultor area for improvement, going
(18:11):
forward.
I'd like you to continue doingthis or trying this instead.
So here's my question for youwhich of these blind spots hits
closest to home and, moreimportantly, what's your plan to
fix it hits closest to home and, more importantly, what's your
plan to fix it?
Look, being a Gen X leader intoday's workplace, that's not
(18:35):
easy.
We're navigating changes wenever saw coming, leading people
who think differently than wedo and trying to stay relevant
in a world that seems to changeso fast, like it's the fashion
trends in the 90s.
But here's what I've learnedthe leaders who thrive aren't
the ones who resist change, likethey're still defending the
superiority of mixtapes.
(18:57):
They're the ones who staycurious, they stay humble and
they're willing to evolve.
I want to thank all of you forjoining me.
If you would do me a favor andleave a review, I would greatly
appreciate it.
And if you'd share this withanother Gen X leader, or maybe
(19:18):
someone who works for a Gen Xleader and they're just trying
to understand them, okay.
And if you are looking forcoaching, if you're looking for
a keynote speaker, I do all that.
You can find me atnextstepadvisorscom.
That's N-X-T.
There's no E there.
Nextstepadvisorscom.
Or, hey, connect with me onLinkedIn.
(19:38):
All these links are in the shownotes.
Getting a ton of followers onLinkedIn.
We're having some greatconversations, in fact.
Show notes getting a ton offollowers on LinkedIn.
We're having some greatconversations, in fact.
In a couple of weeks I'm goingto have the 100th episode.
Show will be a Q&A.
If you have any of those, I'dlove to hear from you.
Drop some questions in thecomments and I'll maybe make
those one of the ones that Ianswer.
Again, thank you for listeningto the TLD podcast.
(20:02):
I'm Colby Morris.
Go out there, keep leading withhumility.
Evolving to the TLD podcast.
I'm Colby Morris.
Go out there, keep leading withhumility, evolving with purpose
and challenging outdated habits.
And you know why?
Because those are the thingsthat leaders do.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do.
If you're looking for more tipson how to be a better leader,
be sure to subscribe to thepodcast and listen to next
week's episode.
Until next time, keep workingon being a better leader by
doing the things that leaders do
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