Do you know a good Black man when you see one?

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
God level. You can tell them my seting love it up,
God lovel you to telling my setting level up. God
lovel you can tell them my setting level up, level up,
let it up.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Everything that everything.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Connected to everything and that's why and that's why everything
all lies, all lies on everything. That means everything, it's
connected to everything.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Okay, all right, okay, I'm here, All right, listen do this.
This is things that people don't want to talk about,
brought to you by God Level.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
That will be me.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
I am originally from St. Louis, Missouri.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
I'm a mother, I'm a I'm a nurse, I'm an entrepreneur,
I have this podcast. I'm a sister, I'm a friend,
I'm an aunt, I am a g I am everything too.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
John, you want to go ahead and represent yourself?

Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah, John Scott Walker, the sly Talker Here. I'm a lyricist,
spoken word artist, martial artist, personal trainer, lover of life,
student of psychology, and I'm a father who has five
hip hop albums. Conscious, positive, uplifting, motivating hip hop albums
available on all major music streaming platforms. Now look up.
John Scott Walker, John Scott Walker, John Scott Walker, John

(01:29):
Scott Walker, when you're on Title, Amazon, Apple, look up
John Scott Walker. So, lou.

Speaker 4 (01:36):
Ivan, you want to go ahead and represent yourself.

Speaker 5 (01:40):
I do not have five albums. I think that that needs.

Speaker 6 (01:46):
What's going on, y'all is your girl, and you can
find you on social media platforms. I am a mother, assist,
a friend, former military broadcast journalist, and I talk with.
My platform is speaking about mental health and ADHD for
the community because of the fact that is something that
it looks different, It looks different on us, right, So

(02:06):
I like to speak about that, and I'd like to
share stuff from my own journey number one, to keep
myself accountable of me and my own bullshit, but also
so we can all learn, right, So I share my
healing journey and being here.

Speaker 5 (02:18):
You know what I'm saying, and we're gonna keep it
a buck. Let's go.

Speaker 7 (02:22):
You fail to mention something, Uh oh, what's that your art?
I'm sorry, yeah, no, it's It's all good.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
And I reposted it on my Facebook because the story
behind Virtue is absolutely beautiful. It is the faces that
society gives black women and she went through all she
went through the major three and was absolutely beautiful.

Speaker 4 (02:50):
If you see them and he can I connect with
all them.

Speaker 6 (02:54):
I really, I guess I should ask. I guess I
should add artists. But if yes, but well yes another time.

Speaker 5 (03:01):
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Sherman.

Speaker 8 (03:04):
You want to go ahead and represent yourself.

Speaker 9 (03:07):
They call me Sherman.

Speaker 10 (03:09):
I'm loving life and trying not to say anything for granted,
that's all I got.

Speaker 11 (03:14):
That's what's up.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Man. I was about to be. I was about to be.
They call me Sherman.

Speaker 12 (03:23):
I was.

Speaker 11 (03:23):
I was this close.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
I was this close.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
Next time, go for it, next time, next time. Mike Lee,
Mike Lee, Mike Lee has been a while. Go ahead
and represent yourself.

Speaker 12 (03:41):
Brother, mike Lee. I'm family first and foremost. This is
my family. We've been rocking with them for a long time.
Now I'm your family. I am a finance guru, some
people say, but what I do.

Speaker 11 (03:58):
Is I work with a lot of I net worth.

Speaker 12 (04:01):
Individuals and I teach them how to properly move and
protect their money. And very grassroots when it comes to
the black community. So when and if people need to
talk to me, I am a resource. I am a
subject matter expert. I don't want people to lose the

(04:21):
importance or lose track of the importance of a subject
matter expert. When your car goes down, and you know
mechanic John who knows a little bit about the cars,
he's the plug.

Speaker 11 (04:31):
He's the person that you talk to save.

Speaker 12 (04:32):
Me three hundred four hundred dollars, right, same thing, I
am the plug when it comes to finances.

Speaker 11 (04:40):
Right now, we're in a very interesting climate. So my
work is an extremely right now. So that's a little
bit that's me that.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
I feel that that wine that I just think is
astrom and I hope I'm not by the end of
the show. I met a sip very slowly. But anyway,
let's go ahead and get on our topic. We about
to sit back and listen to all three of you
black men talk.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
What am I missing?

Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, we're doing that though, But so after after he
does his bill, we're actually gonna start off with you.
All right, We're gonna start off with you.

Speaker 13 (05:35):
Started with you.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Let let me, let's let Mike build real quick. Let
let's go ahead and build.

Speaker 5 (05:41):
Let him.

Speaker 12 (05:44):
I do have some I'm exciting things happening. John knows
about this. S gy Lever knows about this.

Speaker 11 (05:51):
Ivy.

Speaker 12 (05:52):
She's gonna learn about this as you guys know, I
have a lot of people with life insurance and different
financial means. For those people that don't know how life
insurance work. But you're going to die one' then is
what it is. And there's the right way and a
wrong way to do or run in the wrong thing.
That's the whole thing in itself. But the right thing

(06:13):
to do is to make sure your family is taken
care of, whether it's traditional life insurance, whether it's final expense.
Those who want to make sure the few and burials
taken care of, whether it's mortgage protection. Those who have
bought a home and they say, you know what, I
want to make sure that this is a family home
even if I die. If you die, your income, guyes,

(06:34):
and it becomes very hard for.

Speaker 11 (06:36):
Those people that was depending on your income.

Speaker 12 (06:38):
So, yes, there is a mortgage protection to make sure
that your home stays your home.

Speaker 13 (06:42):
Right.

Speaker 12 (06:43):
Maybe it's an IUL, maybe you're trying to build a retirement,
whatever it is, I got your back. What I am
really really excited to talk about briefly is I've partnered
with a travel agency. My finance organization partner with a
travel agency, and I thought it was a very critical time,

(07:05):
because one thing that I know, everybody going to travel,
everybody gonna get up out of here at some point,
and everybody's gonna have to pick up a hotel. Most people,
when they get hotels, they go through public agencies Expedia
dot Com, Hotels dot Com, Travelocity, whatever it is. What
you're seeing there is what's called public pricing. Pricing that

(07:28):
everybody gets. However, we all know that somebody got a
hook up on these hotels, all right. That hookup usually
comes through travel agencies. Okay, So what I did is
I partner with a travel agency. What they're allowing me
to do is give out hotel savings traveling hotel savings
to anybody who gets a free quote and no obligations

(07:51):
and ain't like you gotta buy something. Okay, So if
you get a free quote, you're gonna get one hundred
dollars in hotel savings at over a million hotels around
the world. If you do a policy review, because you
already have a life insurance policy one hundred dollars. If
you refer somebody, you're going to get one hundred dollars
per person that you refer. So yes, you can have

(08:14):
one thousand dollars in hotel savings. Okay, I'm going to
share my screen briefly and just give you an example
of what this actually looks like. Because one thing that
I do know is ain't nobody got time to be
paying full price.

Speaker 8 (08:29):
We don't do retail over here, retail over here.

Speaker 12 (08:34):
So you got to see my screen yet, All right, excellent,
So what you would notice up here is it says
cash credit balance. I have twelve thousand, five hundred dollars
in cash credit balance. Okay, So if you get a quote,
you're going to get one hundred dollars in cash credit ballance.

(08:54):
If you refer people, you're gonna get one hundred dollars
per person. If you get a policy, guess what you
get an extra one hundred dollars ask credit. Now, instead
of going to expedia dot com or hotels dot com,
Let's say you wanted to go to Las Vegas.

Speaker 11 (09:10):
Let's say we're gonna go from May two to the sixth.
Let's just take it, you know, a little long weekend.
All right.

Speaker 12 (09:22):
By the way, John, I don't know if I told
you this, but they do have rental car save you.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Oh yeah, you didn't tell me that. Yeah, okay, rental car,
so this applies. So the same cash credit up here
applies to both hotels and car rentals.

Speaker 13 (09:38):
Correct, Okay, gotcha.

Speaker 12 (09:40):
You got Westgate Las Vegas Resort Casino right. The public
price is seven hundred and seventy five dollars for this
four or five days, and that is what the price
is at Expedia dot com. Order it's hot wire, tribalalized
Todayhotels dot com, cheap tickets or whatever. One thing that
you would notice this isn't seven options. You ain't getting

(10:02):
an option of seven hotels. You have one hundred and
eighty seven different hotels that you can actually choose from. Okay, Now,
because I have cash credits, I actually get money off
of my hotel. If you only got one hundred dollars,
it's only going to show you one hundred dollars. Because
I have twelve thousand, five hundred dollars, I actually get
to see the entire hotel safety. Okay, so instead of

(10:26):
paying seven seventy five, you're gonna pay four hundred and
twelve dollars. Wow, Okay, let's just test this thing out,
all right. So what is this called West Skate and
Off Vegas Resort let's go to hotels dot com.

Speaker 11 (10:40):
Sure, let's let's go to hotels dot com.

Speaker 4 (10:46):
That's me, I'm.

Speaker 12 (10:47):
Sorry, more than good West Skate Las Vegas.

Speaker 11 (10:56):
The dates are second group of six, second through the sixth.

Speaker 12 (11:04):
We go and search. They got one hundred and twenty
six dollars off. The total price is seven hundred and
seventy five dollars. Okay, So when you go to our
platform you'll see the price at all these places. It's
seven hundred and seventy five dollars, but you will get

(11:25):
three hundred and sixty three dollars off. Now, ef you
wanted to select the room, I'll say to you, guys time, Well,
I'll just show you real quick.

Speaker 11 (11:31):
I'll take thirty six to show you.

Speaker 12 (11:35):
If you want to select the room, it's just like
any other hotel that you go to. It's gonna pop
up with different room options. Wow, that's popping up. Oh
here we going three hundred and sixty three dollars off.
You get a one king bad or two doubles two

(11:58):
hundred and seventy two dollars off. If you want premier
room one king or two queens, and you just book it.

Speaker 11 (12:06):
That's it.

Speaker 12 (12:08):
You book it. It's like everywhere else. You're gonna have
your reservation details. Here's the hotel, here's the address, this
is what time you check in cancelation policy. You can
get insurance. You put in your guest information. But you'll
notice your total it's subtracting three hundred and sixty two dollars. Right,

(12:28):
none of these expire. You don't have to be a
part of the travel agency. You don't have to pay
them my fleet fee. You ain't gotta go to no
time share, none of that.

Speaker 13 (12:38):
Right.

Speaker 12 (12:39):
If you want to travel in style, okay, well let's
go to five star hotels. Sure, maybe this is honeymoon.
Maybe this is something special happening. Right, Okay, well, here's
the Waldorf the story. I've been in this actual hotel.
It is dope. But instead of paying twenty six to
fifty two, you can pay eighteen seventy eight. Right, save

(13:02):
seven hundred and seventy three dollars. I say all of
this to say that we are doing everything that we
possibly can to get in front of people and just
teach them how life insurance works. Here's a crazy stat.
Seventy six percent of people are overplaying for life insurance.

Speaker 11 (13:21):
Seventy six percent of.

Speaker 12 (13:22):
People are overplaying for life insurance, and ninety eight percent
of people have never heard of a non for profit
life insurance company that gives scholarships and grants and online
courses and tuition reimbursement and all the things.

Speaker 11 (13:34):
Right, So I just wanted to drop that.

Speaker 12 (13:38):
If somebody posts, we have a little epsert that I
can send you guys. But if you guys post that
episode on your Facebook ball, we're going to give you
five hundred dollars worth of hotel savings. And the reason
is is because you say, hey, friends, there's this thing.
All you got to do is get a free quote.

(13:58):
All you got to do is get a policy review.
Goeventy six percent of people are overplaying. Ninety percent of
people have never heard of life or not for profit
life insurance. Get a quote with my boy, We're gonna
give you five hundred dollars plus one hundred dollars per
person that gets a quote. Plus we're gonna give you
fifty dollars cash real USD cash anytime somebody gets a.

Speaker 11 (14:19):
Life insurance policy. So it is the hookup. I know
people are gonna go back and watch this. I want
you to understand. This is not a test. We are
really doing this.

Speaker 8 (14:29):
How much money have you made?

Speaker 1 (14:30):
So the more important question is how can they get it?
How can they get in contact with you?

Speaker 12 (14:38):
Hey, the best way to get in contact with is
just giving me a call, shoot me in cash.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
All right, what's that number? What's that number? We can
put it up on the screen.

Speaker 11 (14:48):
The number is seventy zero three nine two mm hm
five zero five to seven.

Speaker 13 (15:00):
Right.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
Welcome back, Mike Newborn?

Speaker 13 (15:07):
What do bro please? Family?

Speaker 8 (15:12):
Okay, okay, Hi brother, I'm sorry, King new Bourn.

Speaker 13 (15:21):
Love love love, How y'all doing?

Speaker 8 (15:24):
We are good?

Speaker 3 (15:27):
Ready to get into tonight's topic. You know, me and
me and Ivy already said back and said that we
were going to be learning some things. I mean, I
think you're not.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
Mm hmm John, because you know that you represent a
demographic that this speaks to. Because the question is does
does god level know a good man when she sees one?

Speaker 8 (15:56):
Absolutely? I got three on this show right now.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
I'm sorry for but but that's part of that's part
of this whole question is this was a process for
you and there are other black women that are, you know,
dealing with the same issue. Ivy. You can attest to
that right.

Speaker 5 (16:14):
That's the reason why I bought a notebook, That's why
I got some wine.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
And because there are women out there that want that right,
they want good brothers in their circle. But you know,
we talked about this last week with Sharan, Right, your
belief really facilitated a lot of this. Your belief that
there are good men out there somewhere. Yeah, So that
cannot be minimized, that cannot be pushed to the side.

(16:42):
That is a very crucial ingredient. If you don't believe it,
Why would God give it to you? Why would the
universe give it to you if you didn't believe it? Right, So,
in some way you have to truly believe. So you
truly believed it and then boom John shows up. Yeah right,
So I just want to emphasize you guys. You guys

(17:06):
are this is a part of like crucial to this
because your experience and identifying black men from your perception,
from your perspective is also crucial for the demographics that
you guys represent. So before we get started into the
bigger questions, God level, what made you choose this topic

(17:31):
while this one? What inspired it? What motivated it.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
Past my algorithm on TikTok and past relationships that I
now looking back, I had.

Speaker 8 (17:44):
No business entry.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
You know sometimes it's not always good to give them
to give a person. Oh I'm serious, you know.

Speaker 8 (18:04):
So now I have four damn good.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
Examples if they ain't on giant level, on my brother level,
Mike Lee Sherman, I have gotten you GMS from each
and every last one of you, men, and I thank
God for you. I think God knew what he was
doing when he put y'all on my timeline.

Speaker 8 (18:26):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
I wouldn't say you restored my faith in men. You
showed me that there are good men, period. And I
love to see y'all coming. So yeah, when I when
I talk about good men, you are the men that
I am talking about.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
And what about you, Ivy, you knows what's been your experience?

Speaker 6 (18:50):
You know in Shorthand, you guys showed me something that
was different.

Speaker 5 (18:55):
Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and be like for real,
for real. Most of my life, like when I was young, I.

Speaker 6 (19:02):
Was raised in the church, right, so it was like
it was a particular set of skills that those men had, right,
not saying that those that those skills were both you know,
that are good, just saying that they were what they
were right. Then from there, I left my I left
my home and I went to the military. And the

(19:23):
military can also have a certain type of guy or
you know what I'm saying, or a certain type of
bail that like with a certain set of skills that
show up there as well.

Speaker 5 (19:34):
So for me, y'all, like actually to tell you.

Speaker 6 (19:38):
To truth not only of the fact that you got
showing proof who you are just every day on a
like on a daily basis, but it also it gave
me the safety to recognize that I had some outdated
thoughts about who men were, you know.

Speaker 5 (19:54):
What I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (19:55):
It gave me, like anytime that I stopped and I like,
I called one of you guys, or if I had
to talk with y'all I was like, hey, what do
you guys think? Or anytime that I was like, hey,
what's this about? You know what I'm saying, give me
a male perspective. Anytime that y'all made that space open
and available for me, it gave me that. It gave
me the evidence because y'all know my brain, my brain
is real. I gotta have the evidence in order for

(20:17):
me to be able to latch into it and be
able to say that this is something that's different.

Speaker 5 (20:20):
That's what changes my thought.

Speaker 6 (20:21):
You guys gave me evidence time and time and time again,
and y'all were consistent with it. And that's that's the
reason why. That's the reason why I was like, you know,
I was like, let me. I was like, I finally
I finally feel like I do. I am surrounded by
some good men.

Speaker 5 (20:36):
Yes, it is uh that natural.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Thank you listen.

Speaker 5 (20:45):
I wish we had like a little that was I
was I'm not.

Speaker 8 (20:47):
Going to nervous.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah, yeah, he did you a super solid because he
was like reading your Yeah, he did you a super
solid Like yeah, that that's high level right there, that's level.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
Weed and braids and you know they say hair holds trauma.
So I had the sides in the back cut and
then I just had the braive top to break the
top braided.

Speaker 8 (21:16):
I'm sorry, dyslexic.

Speaker 3 (21:18):
It was just time for me to get rid of
all of it, to start over, you know. So this
is I promise you, this is my new beginning. I
don't know what's going on in the month of April,
but I'm releasing some things and I love it.

Speaker 8 (21:36):
I really do. So, Yeah, don't make me.

Speaker 5 (21:38):
Cry, girl, you know I cut the time. I'm like
cry if you want to, That's what I look at.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
Kind all my brother to do it.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
I swear to God.

Speaker 8 (21:55):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
So So this question right here is just to kind of,
you know, set the soil, right. I actually, when we
first came up with this topic and I started posting
in the group, I actually was kind of I wouldn't
say confronted. I was challenged on this by another person
of color, unfortunately, and I didn't look at it with dismay.

(22:21):
I looked at it as an opportunity to really, you know,
make sure that we're setting the groundwork for this. So
do we need to address the role and function of
race from both a biological and psychological perspective? Do you
guys think we need to even go there? Because I mean,
there is this general tendency online to all lives matter everything,

(22:43):
all right, we start talking about Latino folks start talking
about black women, but women, you know, So do we
need to all lives matter this?

Speaker 12 (22:53):
Or?

Speaker 1 (22:53):
I mean, can can we say that there are some
unique aspects of race as it pertains to psyche versus
the biological do we need to do that.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
I mean a lot of this these topics I'm not
trying to be funny, are geared toward our community, help
healing our community, help building our community, help educating our community,
and being an example for our community. So right now,

(23:28):
you got it, black man, We need to Black women
need to know when they see they need to be
able to point out a good black man versus what
we have out there now with every race. They're good
and they're some bad. All right, that's everywhere you go.

(23:49):
We want the women, our women, our good women, to
be able to zone in when you good black men. Okay,
that's a good, right there, that's a good I want
them to be able to tell like that.

Speaker 5 (24:02):
I'm scared to say. And I'm sorry. I didn't know
if you were done yet. Go ahead, bag No, I
was just going to say.

Speaker 6 (24:08):
I was like, do we really need to talk about
the function of race?

Speaker 8 (24:13):
You know what I'm saying, action of race? But the title.

Speaker 6 (24:19):
Especially biologically, I'm thinking, like scientifically bio is that what
we're saying here?

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well? Yeah, because so the premise of the the challenge
that I got was race is, you know, biologically irrelevant?
And I hear this, and I'm like, Okay, when you
and I have a pet peeve about people who say
science but you don't actually operate scientist, I am ooh,
I come from throats because it's like, I don't just

(24:45):
say science. That is a very broad field. Okay, we
have different types of sciences, including psychology, and so that's
why I say the psychological perspective, right, because yeah, from
a biological from just this body bio okay, yeah, race irrelevant.
But from a psychological perspective, we're talking about the experiences,

(25:08):
the ideas of a man due to his skin that
is psychological, not biological. If he's having an experience, that's
psychological not biological. So that's why I felt like, you know,
that's what we were arguing from. And it's like, you know,
I understand where he was trying to go with this.
I understand, but it also made me, you know, realize

(25:32):
it seems like we got to set that foundation moving
forward when it comes to these topics because we're talking
about white supremacy.

Speaker 13 (25:39):
Right.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
First off, white supremacy created all this right here in
terms of like the race, So you start with that first, right,
So it's not the it's not the We need to
stop acknowledging that there's race. No, you kill white supremacy.
There's no need for race. You kill that, you kill
that right Now, that's an oversimplification, but I'm just saying,
if you're going to criticize anything being criticized that first, wow,

(26:02):
don't criticize me for being in the doctrine that everybody
else is. Because again, no matter where you go left, right,
up and down on your applications, you're gonna have to
identify something. Okay, So that's the reality. So that's why
I say that's psychological in and of itself. You're twenty three,
You identify as a black woman, black man, Latino man,

(26:24):
and your check what does that mean?

Speaker 13 (26:26):
Right?

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Isn't doesn't that co op or align with some of
our experiences as it pertains to our goodness or our
perceived goodness? You know, like you can look, you can
look at a black man that let's say, for example,
he might be selling drugs in his community, right, but
then if you see what else he's doing, does your

(26:49):
percession of him doing those drugs and you associating that
with his skin color unconsciously, of course, does that distort
your image or your perception of him being good.

Speaker 5 (27:01):
Right, No, no, I'm sorry just to interject.

Speaker 6 (27:05):
Okay, so if that's the fact, then real quickly, not
not from the biological perspective or not from the psychological perspective,
but probably from the social science perspective. I'm thinking, like,
that's probably what what might need to be addressed.

Speaker 5 (27:19):
Just discust just because if you think about the science.

Speaker 6 (27:22):
Of of of our being social because our community is
like is our social culture, right, then.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Let's address it.

Speaker 6 (27:29):
Let's address it culturally and socially addressed the role of
race socially in the in the like from being a
man from being a black man, like socially, like, what.

Speaker 14 (27:41):
Is the role?

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah, so the role for well, at least from John's perspective. Right,
so you identify John in terms of also descriptive terms. Hey,
uh you talk to John lately? Okay, man, look, I
know six different Johns. Like, which one are you talking about? Oh? Well,
you know short, muscular? Uh, like just a man and
you couldn't call me short. Imagine you couldn't call me muscular.

(28:04):
It's like, how do you describe me? Right?

Speaker 9 (28:07):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Well you know the nice guy. All of them are nice. Well,
you know the intelligent. All of them are intelligent. Come on,
you gotta be more specific, man, I know six different Johns.
Oh man, well our short god, short guy, all of
them are short. Don't make me say it, man, what black?

(28:28):
Is he?

Speaker 14 (28:28):
Black?

Speaker 9 (28:28):
Oh?

Speaker 14 (28:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (28:29):
I know one guys? Yeah? Yeah, But why does that matter?
Why does that matter? It matters because you're describing me.
I look a certain way, I present myself a certain way.
I didn't bleach my skin, I don't have acne. You
can describe me being black. It's just respecting that this

(28:49):
is how I look, right, But there are experiences associated
with that, just like there are experiences associated with being
a young white male. There are a certain experience in
a white male that's young that I'm not gonna understand
because I don't have those experiences. Otherwise it would be important, right,
all of us need to have those experiences. Then, so

(29:11):
it really goes to show that there is a privilege
and then there is a limitation to your racial construct. Yeah,
but this is just to set the soil. Race does
matter in this because there are social there are social
perceptions of us, both in the group and outside the group.

Speaker 14 (29:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
Right, So the question is even though there might be
like this litmus test for goodness amongst all cultures, amongst
all races? Is it stable from an individual point of view? First?
Is it stable across time? Do you apply the same
metric of goodness regardless of race? You do that so

(29:52):
you don't have any racial biases? You know, that's important
to acknowledge. It's not just biology. We're just acknowledging what
do you believe about black men? Because that means that
you're you're also having an experience here about black men
that isn't necessarily physical. You're having an experience with King
Newborn before you even got a chance to talk to him.

(30:13):
It's crazy. We gotta acknowledge that, right, So let's let's
keep it rolling, right. What qualities define a good black man?
And are these qualities subjective or universal? Who wants to
go first?

Speaker 8 (30:32):
What we're listening listening is I got four good men
on here.

Speaker 3 (30:45):
Yeah, y'all need to clear y'all paltt take a sip
before you you don't know you speak for truth?

Speaker 8 (30:50):
Yeah? Please, I'll jump there you go.

Speaker 2 (30:55):
So what qualities will find it good black man?

Speaker 9 (30:59):
Mm hm? I think I think all those qualities will
be universal.

Speaker 10 (31:06):
It requires crazy enough. Require it, require it requires a
perspective on everything. You got to have integrity, got to
have respect, got to have love. You got to be
able to identify all of those things to even be
a good man. And I think to be a good
person in general, you have to have you have to
find an opinion that you believe over yours. Have to

(31:28):
find an opinion that you believe over yours, because that's
important because you could always bounce your facts or what
you think is gospel or whatever.

Speaker 9 (31:35):
You got your information off of that person.

Speaker 10 (31:38):
And if they have the life, if they have the lifestyle,
even if they have the financial prowess that you look
for that you want in life, and you value their opinion,
you can kind of guide it the right way. Because
all billionaires usually say they have the same recipe.

Speaker 9 (31:53):
You follow the recipe, you get the life. So I think, just.

Speaker 10 (31:58):
To be a good man, of course, everybody know the
basics and stuff like that.

Speaker 9 (32:02):
You just got to try to be a good person
to somebody.

Speaker 10 (32:04):
Got to try to think about life from their perspective
and yours and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Take everything into account, but you really gotta you really
got to have a good example.

Speaker 10 (32:15):
I'm really big on examples, because that'll set you way
ahead of the curve quicker than anything that you're failure,
any type of knowledge, any type of failure.

Speaker 9 (32:26):
If you have the example, damn nurse you in.

Speaker 5 (32:32):
So now I got a question to ask about that.

Speaker 6 (32:34):
So it sounds like what you're saying is it sounds
like what you're saying is a good man normally has
something that they believe in is higher than themselves, whether
that be whether that be a community, member of our father,
you know, the idea of God. Like it sounds like
it sounds like you're telling me that, let's just go

(32:55):
ahead and put it people. If a person is a person,
they gotta have something to which they have to feel
accountable to.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Because he's in service to something.

Speaker 9 (33:07):
That's I think one of the biggest things we don't like.
You have to find out how to be in service
to your neighbor.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
If you figure out how to help, that could be great.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
Okay, So he's saying that he's a servant. Though a
good man is a servant, that.

Speaker 8 (33:23):
A good man raises up another good man.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
Can you have that in your life? You're going to
prevent yourself from going through a lot of heartache. You're
not saying that he grabbed the mic.

Speaker 8 (33:37):
Let me shut up, let me he grabbed that mic
real quick.

Speaker 15 (33:43):
No, I like what you said, Sherman, the reason why
I want to say that, And then God Level just
alluded to you.

Speaker 13 (33:49):
I'm sorry. First football, peace, peace, peace, family.

Speaker 15 (33:54):
You can follow me on all social media platforms, that
new boing everything, and it's always I am of service
to my community, friends, family and loved ones. Peace, beast, peach,
God Level, Ms Tanner, And like Simon said, in order
for a good man to become a good man or
a great man, he has to have an example.

Speaker 13 (34:16):
Right.

Speaker 15 (34:17):
Then, furthermore, we alluded to the fact that he has
to see something greater than himself or higher being higher
calling God Buddha is Ishmael. You know all that, right, y'all?

Speaker 13 (34:31):
Sure? Everything right? The beauty of that.

Speaker 15 (34:36):
Is all boys look up to be young men, and
young men look up to be grown. So even though
you're looking for a higher power, the only higher power
of an example is the example of self, which is
still self mastery. So you study pushing to strive to

(34:59):
reach the chrystals or the seventh chakra, which is the mind.
Right because the mind is constantly developing through your experiences
and through your exchange your frequency and vibration.

Speaker 13 (35:11):
And energy in life.

Speaker 15 (35:13):
So the more you experience, the more you see of
the pros and cons of what you would like to
become and what you wouldn't like to become, and even
if that could be tricky, but you always still have
to have something about yourself. Like Sherman said, are morals, principles, rules,
things that regulate you, things that help you understand that

(35:34):
you need certain qualities to become these particular things. So
you still have benchmarks, but nothing technically supersedes the fact
that this is what I want to become. It has
to be what you want to become. That's the only
way it could become a reality. Otherwise you're just fishing.

(35:55):
Can't nobody make you do nothing?

Speaker 8 (35:58):
Nobody?

Speaker 13 (36:01):
I agree with.

Speaker 12 (36:04):
The way that I the way that I would explain it,
because Sherman and King Nubo and are right on target.
The way that I would explain it is you have
to be to be a good man. You have to
be pursuing something like if you're not growing, you're dying,
whether it's a plant, whatever it is. If you're not
growing you're dying, and to be able to have a

(36:28):
mentor or somebody who can guide.

Speaker 11 (36:31):
You in those things. You know, you're always going to
be the product of your environment.

Speaker 12 (36:34):
So the question that I asked us men it what
environment have we put ourselves to?

Speaker 11 (36:38):
What environment? A lot of the.

Speaker 12 (36:41):
Times people may feel like they're a good man based
on the fact that they grew up in an environment
that wasn't sustainable and they got.

Speaker 11 (36:51):
Out of that environment. That doesn't change the habits that
they were community. You know, you can't.

Speaker 12 (36:56):
You can't outgrow your past without analogy here, there's a
scar tissue.

Speaker 11 (37:02):
That everyone has.

Speaker 12 (37:03):
So I think you always have to be pursuing the
other thing that I think you have to not have and.

Speaker 11 (37:08):
To be a good manage empathy.

Speaker 12 (37:10):
Without empathy, If you can't die to yourself and just
see there from other perspectives, I mean you're way behind.

Speaker 11 (37:20):
I mean that's the issue.

Speaker 12 (37:21):
That's where white supremacy comes from.

Speaker 11 (37:24):
There is no empathy.

Speaker 12 (37:25):
Like a lot of the issues that we deal with
in general is based on the fact of lack of empathy.

Speaker 11 (37:31):
You know, you have to have emotional intelligence.

Speaker 12 (37:34):
Now, with emotional intelligence, I want you to understand labies
that there's also a responsibility on your side because when
you deal with an emotionally intelligent person, a man who
can articulate how he feels, it's not your job to
place blame.

Speaker 11 (37:51):
It's not your job to guess. It's your job to.

Speaker 12 (37:57):
Take in what he's saying, because this is a vulnerable
and transparent moment for a man, and.

Speaker 11 (38:02):
You fault say it for a man is hey, don't
share your feelings with your lady because you.

Speaker 12 (38:07):
Go greedy, back up person, You know what I'm saying. So, yes,
you have to have emotional intelligence, but you gotta also
with that comes of responsibility for all parts.

Speaker 10 (38:20):
Yes, I'm gonna jump back.

Speaker 5 (38:23):
Now, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
It's because I'm getting ready to talk about you. I'm
getting ready to talk about you. I v because you
said this a long time ago, die to yourself, that ego.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Oh yeah yeah, and he just said it.

Speaker 8 (38:41):
He literally just said it.

Speaker 6 (38:44):
Listen to y'all, money, Liza, I was just getting ready
to say the amount that I have died to myself
between twenty twenty in twenty twenty five. I mean, you
might as well just go ahead and pull up a
whole damn brave y'all and stick my ass in it
because it's like, oh, she did, Oh she.

Speaker 5 (39:03):
Came back again. She did, she came back again.

Speaker 6 (39:05):
Because the lessons that I have learned baby, in these
last five years.

Speaker 5 (39:09):
Yes, sometimes to be like, I have to let.

Speaker 6 (39:13):
People be people, and I have to, you know, to
say I have to have interjected myself and everything. That
was a hard lesson for me as somebody who grew
up thinking that I had to control narratives around me,
because everything when I was coming up was out of control.

Speaker 5 (39:31):
Is that makes any sense?

Speaker 6 (39:32):
So I didn't even understand that that relationships, any relationships.
Relationships are not here to make me happy. Relationships are
here to shape me. They're here to stretch me. They're
here to form me. They're here to shape me in
to sharpen me into being a better person for the
destiny that I'm on. So that means whether it's a
romantic relationship with somebody else, or whether it's a relationship

(39:55):
with my best girlfriends, or if it's a relationship with
my kids, they're there to help shape me. And sometimes
that means that I got to die to this shit
that I thought was right. I'm gonna shut up I'm
gonna be quiet, I'm gonna mut.

Speaker 4 (40:08):
Can I can? I?

Speaker 8 (40:08):
I just want to say something because this is just observation.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
You know, me and young boys have two choices to
either be a product of their environment or a world
of the something greater than their environment and the desire
to be something greater. Some of them all get lost
in the sauce, take the scenic route, a lot of

(40:32):
failure before they come out of it. Because I'm still
be a believer that people can change. It may take
them a long time, but in order to change. I
don't know which one of y'all just said that you
got the acknowledge the boyshit you did in the past.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
Mister Lee, mister Lee.

Speaker 8 (40:51):
I love you, mister Lee. Thank you for that.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
That's what That's that accountability that right there for me
is gonna always What's that's a boy and a man apart.
That's what some suparates men know how to take accountability
voice they're lame gay they have yet to learn just yet.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
So I want to thank you man for showing me that.

Speaker 5 (41:15):
Thank you, can I can?

Speaker 6 (41:17):
I just entered up one more thing, but I tell you, guys,
thank you. I finally understand now how guys are vulnerable
and what man vulnerability means.

Speaker 5 (41:27):
What it doesn't look like mine. It doesn't look like mine.
And I was like, oh shit, you know what I'm saying.
So yeah, and so.

Speaker 6 (41:39):
If anybody's out there, if you watch it and you
just don't understand men have empathy, it just looks different
than ours, ladies.

Speaker 5 (41:46):
Okay, Y'm gonna be quiet again.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
All right, so I will go ahead, Oh go ahead,
god level.

Speaker 3 (41:53):
I just I'm sorry, Sherman. I'm gonna put you out there.
But you know, we we are tried. We have a
group chat and I was taking a ride one morning
and a lot of things was was you know, you
have those those powerful moments where you realize some things.
It's like, okay, I got to talk now, I gotta talk.

(42:14):
Got put group chat. Who available? It was John and Sherman.
I always talked to John. This time I wanted I
wanted to hit Sherman up. And the fact that that
conversation was so good, that that man was vulnerable with me,
it took my trust level in him completely up.

Speaker 8 (42:34):
You did that for me.

Speaker 14 (42:34):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
I mean, you didn't come off as someone pretending to
be something that you're not.

Speaker 8 (42:43):
And I love that, so.

Speaker 3 (42:44):
I want to And when I heard it, and it
reminded me of what Ivy said. If you can't be
vulnerable with me, I don't want to be around you
because you're constantly trying to pretend to be something that
you're not.

Speaker 8 (42:57):
Those are fake people. They are not real, but the way.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
And you don't realize that when someone is being vulnerable
with you, they're giving you permission to be vulnerable as well, to.

Speaker 8 (43:09):
Break down.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
Between you and that person. He opened himself up and
I love that. Thank you, brother, I appreciate that.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
I respect it.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Man authenticity, authenticity, good Man, good Man are authentic, right.

Speaker 12 (43:32):
I want every woman, But one thing, you gotta also
give yourself credit for that level. You can't take out
with drawers without putting it the possible, right, can put
in no.

Speaker 11 (43:47):
Money and then expect to take out money.

Speaker 12 (43:51):
All right, So based off of the relationship that you
guys are doing, it allowed him you put in enough
deposits where he felt comfortable with us to give you
a withdrawal.

Speaker 11 (44:05):
They won from everybody, right.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Yeah, because because with then, yeah it we tend to
be really strict about that. We already don't what to
do like we want to do it, but we already know,
like chances is real slim. So it's like, okay, are
you gonna be Yeah, you just like the rest of them.

Speaker 10 (44:26):
Right, Unintentionally somebody will sling an accent you tread, and
it's only so many strikes that you can take someone
careful what we give out, mindful teaching.

Speaker 9 (44:39):
We need to be protected because.

Speaker 10 (44:41):
Nobody else will until you can, until you find some people.
And I got mine.

Speaker 13 (44:51):
Just again, this out real, real quick.

Speaker 15 (45:00):
Peace to that whole entire situation that took place between
God Love and my sister and Sherman.

Speaker 13 (45:06):
Well, I'm not.

Speaker 15 (45:10):
I'm not gonna it's not This is not a moment
of boasting or a moment of the praisal. The relationship
y'all developed happened to happen because I pressed very heavily
to correct who I was to become who I am.

(45:30):
And because of that, y'all come from two different genre spaces,
atmospheres and environments. In some way, somehow y'all linked and
just so be sharing the same comment denominated.

Speaker 13 (45:47):
And it was me.

Speaker 15 (45:48):
So it was a way that I was able to self,
As my sister put it at the time, ain't no
good mean right, I was put up under pressure. Yeah,
and also cut to show and prove, not not trying

(46:11):
to show improve. I was just authentically being myself who
I was becoming and involving to be. Prior to my sister,
I had already developed a relationship with Sherman.

Speaker 13 (46:23):
So between the two and then they mesh, They're like, hey,
I know this one guy. Man, you really love this guy.
And she was like, wave, man, hold up exactly.

Speaker 8 (46:36):
I'm an interject.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
I showed him the podcast and he was like, I
know him, I know him. I said, that's my brother.
I said, not my fake brother. I said, we come
from the same sack.

Speaker 10 (46:54):
That's exactly what you said. And I will still say
I will always say that's what set me on my track.

Speaker 13 (47:02):
And he did.

Speaker 9 (47:05):
He was like that they would.

Speaker 16 (47:08):
It was.

Speaker 9 (47:08):
It was a little harsh.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
I ain't expected.

Speaker 9 (47:11):
I ain't expected.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
I ain't expected, but.

Speaker 10 (47:13):
He hit hard, and but I knew it was coming
from a place because he ain't talk to nobody else.
He gave them respect and he was cordial, but it
was very, very very short.

Speaker 9 (47:27):
But with me, I saw time. What the fuck he
giving me time?

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Like what are you?

Speaker 9 (47:34):
What are you seeing me, but he saw it.

Speaker 11 (47:37):
I did.

Speaker 10 (47:39):
But then the knowledge started to work and I had
another product in front of me. But I can see
that he's doing it, So why the funck cain't I?
And he was telling me, if I can do it,
get your ass in the truck and do it. That
was all I needed for to click.

Speaker 9 (47:55):
I was on the wrong world. He needed somebody to
pull that lever get me on the right track, and
it worked.

Speaker 15 (48:03):
I bring that whole point full circle to say, had
I been on bulls shit, it's probably would.

Speaker 13 (48:09):
Have never happened, not at all. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 15 (48:14):
So when John be breaking it down, when we in
our head, it ain't just that we're trying to find
a space with our women or even in society to
be vulnerable. Were too busy in our head trying to
find space to be vulnerable with ourselves. Sometimes we can
be not so unforgiven. Sometimes sometimes we cannot be so

(48:37):
unforgiving to ourselves. Sometimes that could be destructive. But when
life show you who you are or who you are not,
that shit can hurt. It could really hurt. So y'all
came full circle and I was just like, dang, what

(48:58):
if I was.

Speaker 13 (48:59):
On some boys, Yeah, what if I was our.

Speaker 15 (49:02):
You know, proclaiming to be something that I'm not here
it is? Oh yeah, Ms Tanner, you gotta show improve
about execution solutions.

Speaker 13 (49:16):
I'd have been exposed quickly, real quick.

Speaker 15 (49:22):
But I appreciate the journey of God in love with
the podcast and timing for a service, because a couple
of times I reached out to him like, bro, you
all right, you're good what you're doing?

Speaker 13 (49:32):
What you got cracking? She's doing with that CDA.

Speaker 15 (49:38):
Then we stopped talking for like it was like two
years the Boom Universe.

Speaker 10 (49:46):
I finally compartment when I finally got to got level,
I came to a point where I compartmentalized every day.

Speaker 11 (49:55):
I had everything in order, all.

Speaker 10 (49:57):
My problems, all my solutions for I came, et cetera,
et cetera.

Speaker 9 (50:03):
So when I got to her, I was able to
get I had enough water in my fuck. It was
cool and we didn't meet by coincidence. It was for
me before some times because I take it as a
I take it as a checkpoint to say, yeah, Sharre,
you finally ready.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
Oh yeah, you can say something, Oh yeah, I gotta.

Speaker 5 (50:30):
I gotta interject. I gotta listen. I know because you
over there, listen. I'm not to make you laugh. I
break up this love fest real quick, right.

Speaker 6 (50:38):
Just for half a second, because I have a question,
because something I hear is common things right with at
least I've heard this.

Speaker 11 (50:48):
Am I speaking with? This is.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
Wow?

Speaker 13 (50:57):
Just brother, brother?

Speaker 8 (51:00):
How you doing?

Speaker 13 (51:01):
Brother?

Speaker 14 (51:03):
I'm good?

Speaker 1 (51:06):
Indeed he is indeed, indeed.

Speaker 16 (51:12):
Good if anybody said this, because I'm just now tuning in,
But it's not.

Speaker 14 (51:20):
There's there are a lot of There are a lot
of good black men, if you ask me.

Speaker 13 (51:23):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 14 (51:24):
But the question, it's not just about being a good man.

Speaker 16 (51:27):
It's about it's about compatibility.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 13 (51:32):
Okay.

Speaker 14 (51:33):
So if you're a good man and.

Speaker 16 (51:35):
If you're picking women that's not quite compatible with you hobbies, interest.

Speaker 14 (51:47):
Emotional intelligence, you can be a good man.

Speaker 11 (51:50):
But if you're picking women.

Speaker 14 (51:53):
Aren't at your level, you're going to struggle.

Speaker 16 (51:58):
And and I think and I see that, Like I said,
good dues, they go to work, they do all this stuff,
and then they but they're not quite with the woman
that's quite as compatible with them.

Speaker 14 (52:11):
Because you need that to form long term bonds and
long term relationships.

Speaker 16 (52:17):
So you know that was that's just my two two
sense compatibility is that's extremely important in building a relationship
with somebody.

Speaker 5 (52:30):
Yeah, that you just said that. I've got a question.

Speaker 6 (52:34):
Go ahead, Oh we're talking listen if we're talking about compatibility, right, okay,
So let's just say, like you've got somebody who you guys,
really don't have the same interest, but you have the
same I don't know, you have the same mindset when
it comes to morality or when it comes to values

(52:54):
or something like that. Right, is that compatibility or if
you've got somebody who you don't have the same values,
you don't have the same rules as that other person,
but you have a goal.

Speaker 5 (53:05):
They said, everything is on the.

Speaker 14 (53:08):
Factum, So how much is this?

Speaker 16 (53:11):
So like my my wife she doesn't, she's not everything,
but the themes where we are compatible I value so much,
you know.

Speaker 14 (53:22):
So I don't think we should look at everybody and
like everybody has to be my everything. Uh, we have
to really take a deep dive.

Speaker 16 (53:31):
And prioritize which value that's it's important for us to
have a relationship.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
The priorities.

Speaker 16 (53:39):
My wife she doesn't, she doesn't read as much as me,
but she does other things and you know, what And
I've actually been with women that ran just as much
as me and we weren't compatible. So there's a frequency
and an emotional compatibility with people that we have to

(54:01):
focus on that.

Speaker 14 (54:02):
So, how am I emotionally around this person feel at ease?
Can I laugh?

Speaker 11 (54:08):
Can I be goofy? You know?

Speaker 14 (54:10):
And in terms of just physical compatibility.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
And financial you know, you know, how does this person
really make me feel?

Speaker 16 (54:23):
And I think sometimes we ignore those things when we're
looking at the financial situation.

Speaker 14 (54:28):
Do they have kids?

Speaker 16 (54:30):
And and but that person may be emotionally compatible with you,
but we ignore thats because they don't live up to
societal standards of compatibility.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Okay, let's see that. I can see that.

Speaker 5 (54:46):
They're not living up to societal standards.

Speaker 8 (54:50):
Society standards.

Speaker 14 (54:52):
Society, a man has to be there, the woman has
to be the but, but everything and everybody.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
You know, some people, I'm gonna give you an example.
She just passed away and she was with Deangeloe. Oh,
society standard said he should be with somebody not as
big as her. Society standards, you know.

Speaker 6 (55:22):
So okay, So when it comes to like, okay, so
correct me if I'm wrong. But isn't if if we're
gonna and this was probably not in the same realm
of this. We might have to talk about this on
another podcast or something. But when it comes to terms
of love, love is an act of bravery anyway, right,
So how is it that we're really honestly looking at
societal standards with who it is that you're in love with.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (55:46):
I mean, and I get how it makes a lot
of sense because some people, they come from a culture
where you gotta match up, you gotta you know, you
gotta please the parents before you can get married to
the daughter and things of that sort. But I'm just like,
if it really comes to the point of compatibility, I'm
like and like real, like honest raw, I guess like
that person, that person who feels those those spots for you,

(56:09):
is that really go ahead?

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Look, you know, I get what he's saying. How a
person makes you feel that caught me up for a
very long time. How I felt at home with a
person I had to be I have to be careful
with that because what was her life on so and

(56:32):
until I'm at a place where I have healed everything,
then it could be different. So, yeah, you gotta be
careful with that that feeling that at home.

Speaker 14 (56:44):
But the other feeling is that this person make me
feel secure.

Speaker 11 (56:48):
It doesn't make.

Speaker 3 (56:52):
Yeah, nobody wants to be around somebody that they have
to question because.

Speaker 14 (56:57):
That because anybody can make you feel good, can make
you feel.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
Good, yeah, but can make you feel secure.

Speaker 8 (57:04):
Yeah, feeling good and feeling secure.

Speaker 16 (57:10):
Yeah, because andy can make people. Yeah, anybody can make
you feel good sexually, or people can make you laugh.

Speaker 14 (57:23):
But there are deeper compatibility.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
All right, So we're specifying the feelings here, right, That's
what we're specifying the feelings. So security is a high feeling, right,
but feeling good is very vague. To feel good is
a very vague, right, all right, do they make me
feel I don't know, maybe joy elation. So we're talking
about more higher and more specific feelings, right, and they

(57:48):
have to be more stable. I would presume stable feelings.
And yeah, like I mean, now, even now, there there
is of course some room for error, right, because you know,
there has to be a baseline. It can't be like
you can't be high all the time, right, So at
bare minimum there needs to be like some sort of
like contentment. Right, So even when you're bored. Even when

(58:09):
you're content, being with this person is still a good
thing because they make you feel these very specific emotions contentment, acceptance, respected, safety, Right,
it's it's consistent, though, I consistently feel safe, even if
I don't feel happy, I at least feel all right.
So this is but this is Isn't there a prerequisite here?

(58:33):
Like isn't there a prerequisite for that?

Speaker 12 (58:35):
Like?

Speaker 1 (58:35):
Doesn't that require the individual to actually uh do the interwork?

Speaker 14 (58:43):
And that also requires you to learn from you.

Speaker 1 (58:45):
Say, okay, okay, And that's why we date.

Speaker 14 (58:53):
We get this experience being wrong, so we now know better.

Speaker 16 (58:57):
So now we know what we're looking for. We should
now no better. If you're learning from your mistake, If
you can't running into the same type of person, that
means you haven't learned from your mistake.

Speaker 13 (59:12):
So that won't be a good black man, right, tell.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
A black man is running around in the circle chasing
his goddamn tail or.

Speaker 9 (59:22):
I gotta cut in, gotta cut in real quick, real quick.

Speaker 14 (59:26):
Yeah, and you know, and man and women do it.

Speaker 16 (59:28):
Like if you look at domestic violence, unfortunately a lot
of those women end up with multiple guys that are
domestically violent that means they haven't quite got got over
the past trauma, and they keep repeating the same mistaken.

Speaker 13 (59:45):
Wouldn't be good black men?

Speaker 8 (59:47):
Right, No, No, those wouldn't be good black men. I'm
gonna stop.

Speaker 14 (59:50):
You no know what I'm saying. No, I'm just saying
how I know. I'm just talking about how people going circle.

Speaker 8 (59:56):
That's all end up with good people.

Speaker 1 (59:59):
That's a show blood.

Speaker 13 (01:00:01):
Well we're talking about good black men.

Speaker 8 (01:00:03):
Yeah, we're talking about good black men.

Speaker 5 (01:00:06):
Ye hold on, hold up.

Speaker 9 (01:00:08):
Trying to jump into the last I gotta jump in
on the okay, and that just and not just.

Speaker 14 (01:00:17):
I don't I don't know the words, but yeah, but
you gotta focus on compatibility.

Speaker 8 (01:00:21):
Okay, do you have the same do we value the
same thing?

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (01:00:26):
Do you have morals? Do you have empathy?

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
I like that that's a social intelligence though that we're
still talking. Yeah, so that's a social intelligence, the ability
to recognize your relatability to another person, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Yeah, I think something that.

Speaker 9 (01:00:43):
It's something that we all person.

Speaker 14 (01:00:46):
When I first started dating a woman, I'm checking it.
See if she ain't gonna clear to me, that's.

Speaker 12 (01:00:51):
A part of my.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
She's going to do?

Speaker 8 (01:00:54):
What is she gonna do what.

Speaker 14 (01:00:58):
I'm a very person.

Speaker 11 (01:01:00):
I'm a very messy person.

Speaker 14 (01:01:02):
So if I so, so, if I meet a woman
and if my messiness really bothers her, I know we're
not compatible. It's not gonna work. I'm recognizing that real
early and that nothing gets her. She needs somebody more compative.

Speaker 13 (01:01:19):
Right, So is that a quality of a good black
man or university.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
In shoes?

Speaker 16 (01:01:26):
Don't disappear as a relationship goes on, They just get worse.
So you gotta try to recognize them early.

Speaker 14 (01:01:35):
And make a decision.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
Yes, early detection, yes, sir, recognizing that, hey, these are
gonna be problems.

Speaker 13 (01:01:43):
Okay.

Speaker 11 (01:01:45):
And I think a lot of good men ignore.

Speaker 14 (01:01:49):
Bad sign for women.

Speaker 16 (01:01:53):
Because they're hostful or they're optimistic. But gott you know
you gotta you gotta in the blood quick.

Speaker 8 (01:02:00):
Okay, I wonder.

Speaker 13 (01:02:11):
In you.

Speaker 9 (01:02:20):
Yeah, it's just I will always want to bring to
the forefraight.

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
Don't do it by yourself.

Speaker 13 (01:02:30):
You can enjoy the.

Speaker 10 (01:02:30):
Vibes, you can enjoy the compatibility, but to cut your
losses and to not have to go through so many
partners and to fall down.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
So many times.

Speaker 9 (01:02:39):
If you have a tribe music that parting bring.

Speaker 10 (01:02:44):
Them to interview for me, and you'll only need one
because men can play women.

Speaker 5 (01:02:51):
We have to that.

Speaker 10 (01:02:51):
I mean, we just it's embedded in us to have
a certain type of smoothness, a certain type of game,
a certain type of this, a certain type of that that.

Speaker 9 (01:03:00):
Work on other men.

Speaker 10 (01:03:03):
We'll be able to sniff you out in a minute,
if you if you put him into this life, he
has to be a lion to come back out.

Speaker 15 (01:03:11):
Just like they say, it's a thin line between love
and hate. It's a thin line between you being real
you can possibly get your ass with.

Speaker 13 (01:03:18):
There you go.

Speaker 15 (01:03:19):
That's an invisible line that all be acknowledged, no matter what,
no matter to use your tribe.

Speaker 10 (01:03:26):
So you so to cut all of that down, to
even cut the compatibility down, and all the lessons that
you would have to go through from people to person
to person to person and person, Yes, get an opinion
that you value. You got to get an opinion that
you value over yours. And if you're saying we're good man,
bring him nuns.

Speaker 9 (01:03:47):
Yeah, we'll make sure you want to.

Speaker 5 (01:03:55):
I feel for that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Try it, go ahead, hold on. So I just want
to real quick acknowledge we were supposed to move on
from this question, like thirty minutes ago we have even

(01:04:22):
so yeah, yeah, and this question exactly, yes, this question.
So uh, let me just at least to the next
wor right, just in terms of what defines a good
black man from a universal standpoint, I think we can
all agree on. There are universal values, universal virtues, trades, principles, integrity, accountability.

(01:04:48):
We heard that up in there. We heard emotional intelligence,
social intelligence, respectfulness, empathy, right, yeah, we said empathy, dependability, reliability,
because you know, a good man makes you feel secure
and he's securing himself. We didn't say this one per se,
but it's something every culture upholds leadership, but without domination,

(01:05:16):
there's a difference, right, yeah, yeah, right, So it's he
leads by example, he empowers, right, he doesn't control, He empowers,
he uplifts, he motivates, he doesn't try to silence or suppress.

Speaker 5 (01:05:31):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
But then there are subjective qualities, and again we've been
kind of teasing at them throughout the whole thing. For example,
it's like the provider versus the nurturer role. Right, there's
always the provider, provider, provider, But then sometimes you kind
of neglect that there are men that aren't providing in
the financial sense, but they can nurture, right. I know me,

(01:05:53):
I can do both, right, I can nurture. I mean,
I'm a cancer, but I got the water die in too,
you know. And so it looks a certain way coming
from men, right, it ain't.

Speaker 14 (01:06:03):
It's not.

Speaker 1 (01:06:03):
Yeah, it doesn't look feminine even though it is. You know,
it's just masculine presenting. It's masculine presenting. Right, it's a presentation.

Speaker 4 (01:06:12):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:06:12):
But as fathers, we can nurture, right, and we can
also heal. That's a nurturing quality, right. But then there's
other idio secrecies, like faith in spirituality or faith versus spirituality.
It's like, Okay, I know some good Muslimen, and I
know some good Christian men, and then I know a
few atheists, and it's like, yo, okay, regardless of your

(01:06:34):
faith or your spirituality, you're still good. Like, Okay, what
you believe that part right there isn't that crucial? You know,
it's not. It's not a pivotal moment. So you can
kind of still say, oh, I gotta I know a
clan of good men, but they don't all believe in
the same God. Even when it comes to let's say

(01:06:56):
traditional values versus progressive values. Right, so you might have
someone that's more emotionally expressive and more egalitarian, more democratic,
more flexible, versus someone who's a bit more strong, a
bit more stoic, more ahead of household. You know, like
he's very stern, doesn't show a whole lot of emotion,

(01:07:17):
but he does have emotions, right, So that's like traditional
versus progressive. And then there's like communication styles. You know,
how does he communicate? You know, we all communicate differently
as men, but does that determine our goodness as men?
Ambition versus status? Like you know, there's different types of statuses,

(01:07:39):
like I'm a veteran, right, but then you know, you
got dia out over here, he's a truck driver. It's
like status. You can still respect the man regardless of
his status.

Speaker 4 (01:07:49):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:07:49):
And then there's things like style and charisma. I think
those things are not as critical, but they are subjective.
They do color our perception or add a little bit
more flavor to the goodness of a man, the goodness
of a black man, But they're not the most important parts.
We don't hyper focus on them because they're kind of
like accessories. You know, like, all right, my homeboy is

(01:08:13):
a Christian, But what does that really have to do
with him being a good man? You know, like I
don't have to recognize that when I'm communicating with him,
right to to be like, hey, bro, I need to
talk to you about something. And it ain't got nothing
to do with his religion. It ain't got nothing to
do with how he communicates. It's just knowing that he

(01:08:34):
can support me. That's it. It's that simple, right. So,
there are universal traits out there. There are subjective traits
out there, but we tend to give more stock to
the universal ones. And I think, like Josea was saying,
we need to gauge our compatibility on that's the priority,
the universal traits, that's the priority. The subjective stuff, how

(01:08:56):
does he provide versus how does he nurture? That's more subjective.
Those are low priority. You shouldn't be putting those above
whether he has integrity or not.

Speaker 13 (01:09:05):
Right, right, And I just want to add this one
of the little little piece to what.

Speaker 15 (01:09:10):
John was saying and what Stirman. And then also my
brother might leave. When it's all said and done, every
last one of us has to earn our right to
become good men. Yep, that has to be earned. What Yeah,

(01:09:34):
I just wanted to throw that out there. That's that's
that's serious, man, that's serious, And I ain't saying it
earned by a woman's standard of what she thinks a
good man is for her. I'm talking about when you
you in a room with solid brothers, that's on point.

(01:09:55):
That ain't playing no games.

Speaker 11 (01:09:58):
Dialed man, Yeah.

Speaker 13 (01:10:02):
You get shown some weakness about you. No, no, no,
I'm cool.

Speaker 15 (01:10:05):
I don't need no refreshments. I'm just gonna sit in
this corner. I got my pad out. I'm finna just
do a little right, you know, a little sketching, a
little rough draft because I see, yeah, I'm off a
couple ship.

Speaker 13 (01:10:16):
What's what's what? Love?

Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
What you said?

Speaker 13 (01:10:18):
One? All right? Put me down for point zero zero three.
That's why I'm about that, working my way up to one.

Speaker 4 (01:10:25):
You know.

Speaker 13 (01:10:25):
Yeah, you can get exposed real quick, man, real quick.

Speaker 3 (01:10:28):
You do Okay, I heard someone say that you can
tell it's the difference between when a guy walks into
the room.

Speaker 8 (01:10:36):
Versus when a man walks into the room.

Speaker 4 (01:10:39):
Oh it's a big difference.

Speaker 8 (01:10:42):
Oh, it's a big difference.

Speaker 3 (01:10:47):
So yeah, we're gonna have to come back next week
for part two of how do society expectations shape our
definition of a good Black Man?

Speaker 1 (01:10:56):
I got something for that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:59):
The programming, but we will talk about that next week.
I want to thank everyone for jumping in on Tonight's
A Live Josea for calling in. Michelle Tates, I hope
I said that right in Amina.

Speaker 13 (01:11:10):
We love you.

Speaker 8 (01:11:11):
We will see you all back here next week.

Speaker 5 (01:11:13):
John, you got me