How Do You MOVE Out of VictimHOOD?

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, don't god level. You can tell them my setting
level up.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
God love what you're telling my setting level up?

Speaker 1 (00:10):
God level, you can tell them my setting level up
level up, level up.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Don't everything that means every name.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Connected to everything, and that's why and that's why everything
all yes.

Speaker 4 (00:27):
On, all lies on.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Everything.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
That means everything eyes connected to everything.

Speaker 5 (00:41):
Using my body, butter, let me see, let me get
it in there. That's my body, butter bye, pretty is me?
Got me a little glow.

Speaker 6 (00:53):
Going on, a little shine. You gotta have myself. Okay,
Oh I'm doing?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Are you sharing to the group or I thought we
always we wouldn't you and I both do?

Speaker 4 (01:19):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:19):
Okay, okay, yeah, at least I try to m hmm.
Okay cool. Let me go check me out real quick.
I am officially, I'm alive.

Speaker 6 (01:30):
I don't know. Every time it goes live, I have
to go in and edit my.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Ye yeah yeah, so I'll be like.

Speaker 6 (01:38):
What's what's up with that?

Speaker 4 (01:40):
You know?

Speaker 6 (01:42):
Okay?

Speaker 5 (01:43):
Big care, don't care today? Okay, let me send this
to you in the private chat real quick. All right, comments,
all right, welcome, welcome, welcome. This is things that people
don't want to talk about. Walk to you by that level.

(02:06):
I am originally from Fight Louis, Missouri. I am a nurse,
I'm an entrepreneur, I have this podcast. I am a mother,
I'm a sister, I'm a gigi, I am a friend.
I am everything good. John, you want to go ahead
and represent yourself.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
John Scott Walker, the slot talker here.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
I'm a lyricist, spoken word artist, martial artist, personal trainer,
lover of life, student of psychology, and I'm a father
who has five hip hop albums streaming on all major
streaming platforms. We got dimensions, higher dimensions, final dimensions. We
have law of affirmations that's the recent one, and we

(02:45):
have light venders. These are all positive conscious hip hop.
This is about bars, It's about substance. Like I said,
you know, I'm a student here, student of life. I'm
also a student of hip hop. So you know I'm
not just rapping. You know I'm talking to you. So
if you're curious, you should plug in. Look up John

(03:07):
Scott Walker. John Scott Walker is his name. That's the lyricist,
John Scott Walker. Look him up. Pandora the title Apple Music,
Amazon YouTube. Now that might be harder to find.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Me on YouTube.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Because there's another John Skywalker out there, but still John
Scott Walker.

Speaker 6 (03:25):
Salute, Salute King Newbourne. You want to go ahead and
represent yourself peace?

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Peace.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
Piece is King Newborn.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
You can follow me on all social media platforms.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
At New one Everything, And as always I am for
the community, for people, family and friends and loved ones.

Speaker 6 (03:49):
I love it all right.

Speaker 5 (03:52):
This week is a continuation of last week. I don't
know if this brightness is hitting me. We were talking
about victimhood, victim mentality, and today we're going to talk
about how do you move out of victimhood victim mentality?

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Wait do we let's just recap real quick. What does
it mean again? What are we talking about?

Speaker 1 (04:16):
This victim mentality? Like, what's the thing.

Speaker 5 (04:21):
I can't win for? Loosen them people? The world is
against me? So why would I even try?

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Mmm?

Speaker 2 (04:32):
The world is against me? Why would I even try?
So we're talking about the people that are seeking external
validation from everyone, a lot of insecurity. Yeah, these are
the individuals that always have some obstacle in their way.
They just they just can't seem to get ahead. Every

(04:53):
life is always happening to them. They can't influence life.
They're powerless. Helpless. We learned about that, right, learnlessness. Yeah,
and uh, let's uh one more question before we start
going into it, and then we're going to pick it
back up. Right, let's differentiate for those who weren't here

(05:22):
at class last week. How do we make the difference?
How do we make the difference between someone who is genuinely,
genuinely a victim and someone who is just adopting the
mindset just to get some leverage.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Conversations m hmm. Conversation is a.

Speaker 5 (05:43):
Big thing, you know, someone that's just always in, that
has a negative nancy and negative about everything. These people, yeah, helpless, powerless,
They're just they're in survival mode.

Speaker 6 (05:59):
Literally, that's it.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
It M So they're kind of just existing.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
They're not really No, they're existing, hm, just existing all right?
Are these the type of individuals that are prone to
take accountability?

Speaker 3 (06:17):
Hell?

Speaker 4 (06:19):
Why not?

Speaker 5 (06:20):
I mean to say it like that, there's a lack
of there's a lack of care right there. They just
they already think the worst is going to happen, So
why apology ask for anything that do happen or anything
that they do do that is wrong?

Speaker 6 (06:33):
They know there.

Speaker 5 (06:34):
Is no lack of a con No, no, These people
are are very negative in their thoughts, and a lot
of them are actually set in their ways. You know,
they may have tried at one point and then kept
getting that pushback.

Speaker 6 (06:50):
Sometimes that pushback is.

Speaker 5 (06:51):
Just to test to see how hard you how hard
you want it?

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Mmmm? All right, So they don't like to rise to
the challenge.

Speaker 5 (07:01):
Then they've already got a negative mindset like this ain't
gonna work, This ain't gonna work, this ain't gonna work.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, mm hmmm, So dream killers, yes, dang, and you
know again, so this was also we're talking about the
culture here, right. We're not talking about just a category
of people or a class of people that have experienced

(07:32):
some sort of victimization and they're making the moves to
rectify that, to correct, to heal, to readjust to adapt. Right,
we're not talking about these folks, but we are talking
about a culture of individuals that tend to profit off
of the sympathies that they receive from other people.

Speaker 5 (07:55):
Their man, They live off the kindness of others mm hmm, yeah,
because others are always feeling so bad for him, like oh,
they just can't seem to get it together.

Speaker 6 (08:08):
But these people know what they're doing.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Mm hmm. There she is a rajah.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
So great timing because I'm about to bring up the
question that led us to a part two.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
So who is they? They is those with the victim mindset?

Speaker 4 (08:33):
Right?

Speaker 2 (08:34):
So how do they activate that which is their higher,
highest purpose?

Speaker 1 (08:38):
And they don't see an end in sights? Oh? Okay,
shots fired?

Speaker 6 (08:48):
Heymore by how you doing? My congolences?

Speaker 4 (08:51):
Do you?

Speaker 1 (08:51):
I hope you're doing well?

Speaker 4 (08:52):
Brother?

Speaker 5 (08:56):
Hi Erica page? Today is her birthday? This is how
you doing? Happy birthd Okay. They have to want it first.
There has to be some type of a desire there
in order to make that change. You can incurge. We
was just talking about this. You can encourage them. You

(09:16):
can encourage, but you can't convince these people because they've
already been convinced in their mind that whatever they tried
it does not work. So the only thing you can
do is encourage a different outcome or.

Speaker 6 (09:29):
A different outlook on life.

Speaker 5 (09:31):
You know, try to be positive, but you got to
be careful hanging around negative nancys and so you don't
pick up those traits.

Speaker 4 (09:40):
Interesting, what.

Speaker 5 (09:50):
Yeah, because they think negative about everything.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yeah, they need a perspective shift, for sure.

Speaker 6 (09:58):
They really.

Speaker 5 (10:01):
But how do you how do you make somebody wants
to be something different than what they've already been? I mean,
how do you how do you encourage that? How do
you get them to activate when they when they're stuck
in this mindset that nothing they ever do works out
for them? Mm hm, which takes me back to something

(10:23):
I posted by example.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Okay, that's one way.

Speaker 6 (10:30):
By example, But what if that doesn't work?

Speaker 4 (10:33):
Right?

Speaker 2 (10:33):
Right, because you know the example is supposed to be
the inspiration, right, And we were just talking about this
last week, right, the quote, the two quotes, the two
rap style saying, let's see, I don't think you can
fix up Wait, I don't think you can if they've
been getting what they need. Oh yeah, I mean they're
not motivated for more. They might say they want more.

(10:57):
They might say it. I hear it, I hear that.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
I hear a lot about what you lack. I don't
hear a lot about what you desire, what you dream.
And I think you know this also aligns with core beliefs. Right,
what do you believe that you're able to do? You
don't have any accomplishments, right, And I was just talking
to the wife about this today too, my son. I

(11:24):
made him put up all of his awards, every last
one in his room before he shipped off. That was
a tradition that he had to follow, and the reason being,
and I said this to him several times.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Look, there's gonna be days where you don't.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Feel like you're good at anything, you don't feel like
you're at your best, and when you look up, you're
gonna always have those reminders. He hangs up the birthday
cards too, any card that he gets right, because that
reminds you that your loved. Don't just put that away,
like you, what else are you gonna hang your wall
up with? Hang it up with your accomplishments. I don't
care if it's perfect attendance. I don't care if it's

(12:01):
you got the most creative award, like somebody recognized something
good in you.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
So that as a dad, that's what I offered.

Speaker 4 (12:11):
That's what's up, that's what's right.

Speaker 6 (12:15):
I did that.

Speaker 4 (12:17):
I again.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah, it's about your core beliefs.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
And so when you have proof, when you have proof
of concept, it's like, yo, I know I could do this.
I have evidence right here of what I can do,
and I can do more than this.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
This is just a fraction. He don't even have all
of his awards up.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
Fear fear. Fear is a barrier mm hmmm. Recognize himself
is most valuable. So are you are you really monitoring yourself?
Are you really looking at yourself day in day out?

Speaker 4 (12:58):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (12:58):
Are you really looking at yourself? Are you really monitoring
yourself day in and day out. That's a really good question.
A lot of it. Like you said, we're just existing,
We're just here, We're not really observing ourselves.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
Yeah, and self awareness, Yeah, study that.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
I like that. I like it.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
I like uh oh, hold on your mic, uh.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
The same thing.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
No, not hers hers guide level, not yet. Okay, keep
keep keep on, keep up. Oh wait, you just turned
it up and then I don't I don't know what happened,
but I'm gonna keep it rolling. I'm gonna keep it rolling.

(13:48):
Uh So, oh yeah, King, did you want to add anything?
Did you want to build on on that question? Right there?
How do they activate that higher that highest purpose if
they don't see an end in sight?

Speaker 6 (14:00):
Okay, got it?

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yep, there it is.

Speaker 4 (14:04):
Okay, I'm not too sure on that one, because, like
God Level said, if it's not already in them and
that's what they seeking. It would be kind of hard
for them to see no different variation of themselves. Yeah,
you're gonna And then, like the young lady uh Renee said, muh,

(14:31):
you really kind of built your whole character off of pity.
So unless pity is there, there's nothing really to motivate you.
You know, if don't nobody show some type of empathy
for you having that particular mindset that, hey, it's not
supposed to happen for me. Everything is just against me,

(14:54):
and you know, you have no real outside motivation. But
you know, to study thyself, that means you have to
go inside. And that's that's a deep dive that a
lot of us don't want to acknowledge that. The only
excuse me for saying is but the only true savior
that you have it self. Like, it doesn't matter what

(15:18):
what doctor nations you uh you study, or practice, or
religion that you follow, therapy, life coach, it don't matter.
None of that matters until you take the time out
to just acknowledge yourself period, you won't never overcome it.

(15:39):
You really have to take a look inside. So m hm,
I kind of like that, Yeah, study thyself.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, I want to just put a little pressure point
on the pity real quick, right, because there's a large question, right,
there's a large question when you really look at that.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Why is pity soeling? What is so rewarding about pity?

Speaker 4 (16:06):
All right?

Speaker 2 (16:07):
And there's a lot of there's a lot of reasons
why pity could be appealing.

Speaker 4 (16:11):
You know.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
It could be the attention, Like I just nobody sees me.
So if you see me like this, at least I'm
getting some attention. At least somebody notices me. At least
I seem interesting because I'm not. I don't have an
interesting life. My life is not really valuable, so it's

(16:32):
not interesting, and no one's interested in what I have
to say.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
But it seems like people.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Are only interested when I'm like this, I'm suffering, So
maybe I need to turn up the suffering to get something.
Or it could be validation. It could be validation. It
could be And pity also tends to it tends to
remove you from responsibility when somebody pities you. And I'm talking,

(17:00):
I'm a real pity now that yeah, all right, there's
no pressure to do something better, there's no pressure to improve,
there's no pressure to put in the work.

Speaker 6 (17:13):
It's just oh, you you're just going through a hard time.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Aren't you. Dang. Oh, they ain't gonna do my man
like that though, and then.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
You feel like, Okay, I feel good, Okay, thank you.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
Well let's let's let's talk about this. So uh, let
me let me say this very quick, real fast. So
dealing with that pity is also a power. Uh. The
reason why I say that, it's a way to manipulate
those around you too, uh.

Speaker 7 (17:51):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (17:51):
Kind of like you say, uplift you, but they're not
really uplifting you. They're actually walking in your sorrow with you.
And when they do that, you feel like, Okay, I
got more fan base, I got more followers, I got
more people, as you said, validate how I'm feeling. And
while they're doing that, you feel like, catch, look at me,

(18:13):
look at me now, mmm, dang, go ahead, God, I love.

Speaker 6 (18:22):
You a person.

Speaker 5 (18:22):
That that's that's getting paid off of pity is conditioning
the people around them to accept less of them as
far as any type of return in favor for what
they have done for them.

Speaker 6 (18:38):
They're conditioning them.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yep, enabling, yep, conditioning enabling. Yeah, it's the reward.

Speaker 6 (18:46):
Petty can irritate people to like every time around, it's
always something like do you.

Speaker 3 (19:02):
Try love you?

Speaker 6 (19:07):
You know, it's just.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Mm hmm, don't you want more for yourself?

Speaker 2 (19:13):
And then that feels more like shamee because it's like, yeah,
if they're honest with themselves, if they're honest with themselves,
they're really saying, I'm I don't want more.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
Yeah, but wanted more requires you to do more and
work work?

Speaker 6 (19:32):
Can you can you expound on that more?

Speaker 4 (19:35):
May?

Speaker 6 (19:35):
Most people in the church came in miss misinformed came in.
I don't you know where he's going with this?

Speaker 1 (19:48):
A wow?

Speaker 2 (19:52):
I had a creator that I followed on TikTok out
of pity and it quickly got old Wow. So you
discovered you discovered that they didn't have anything else to offer.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
It was just dang, that's it.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
And just think about that, right, Imagine the person that's
seeking the pity party getting those kind of reactions. Every
time I do this, they come in, they pity me
for a little while, but then they end up leaving me.
I can what's what's a core belief for that? I
can never keep anybody around. I have nothing else to offer.

Speaker 5 (20:31):
But who you got in your circle that's enabling you
to continue to live the way that you're doing to
move because I y'all ain't gonna take that from me.

Speaker 6 (20:44):
Excuse my language. Y'all is not gonna take that for me.
I'm serious, y'all gonna take this for me.

Speaker 5 (20:54):
What we're doing? Okay, So how long we're gonna be
in this mode? Because I'm gonna give you a second.
You're gonna be in this ball. But what we're doing tomorrow,
that's my second. You get to while after that. All right, man,
I didn't have enough of this. I didn't have enough
of you being in this mall.

Speaker 6 (21:10):
What we're doing.

Speaker 5 (21:11):
What do we learn from from from whatever's going through?
What you're going through. Let's let's figure out a solution
to move forward. Man If I called, if I called
John or my brother every day with a pity party,
I won't make it two days in a row.

Speaker 4 (21:29):
I'm busy. No, But that's a strong point that she
that she made. You do have those that that you know, Okay,

(21:50):
you're doing it. You got the ball roll and you're
moving forward some way. Somehow they'll reach back to an
old situation and uh, they'll build off of that. But
be right back, right back to where they started from.

Speaker 6 (22:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (22:07):
Yeah, and you hate for that to happen, but people
do that a little bit of that spiral effect every time.

Speaker 6 (22:15):
Pitty fishing.

Speaker 5 (22:16):
Yeah, they want you know, they want people to feel
bad about them, because that's how you get the most
out of people, especially women who are natural nurturers. That's
how you when when a woman, when a woman feels
bad for a man, you know, and she liked this man,
she'll help this man, she'll she'll go to links. But

(22:39):
in the end it's just him getting more, extracting more
out of her than what he is even giving back
in return.

Speaker 4 (22:50):
Yeah. I see that both ways, you know, because you
have some men that will do that and they want
to be like, hey, why you don't get this. All
you have to do is, yeah, she ain't trying to
hear that because she still she's still upset, she's still
in band, she's still going to you know, uh, circumstances
that she went through maybe as a child or last relationship. Man,

(23:13):
she found this is the best way to get things
to get done. You know. That's basically to say, yeah, man,
I just I just don't know they I don't know
you know, I try, You know, I just don't know
what a man gonna do. He gonna crumble because he
don't want to see his lady down like that. You know,

(23:34):
he gonna be her biggest cheerleader. And I'm not saying
women don't do the same thing. It's on both sides
of It's just you know, when do you not only
acknowledge it, but then you try to, you know, help it,
but then you don't want to help it. You want
to step back. But stepping back almost means that you
have to say, no, man, don't nobody wanted her to know.

(23:56):
I can't help you to that. I already gave you
the tools, gave you the resource ship, I wrote down
the whole process.

Speaker 6 (24:03):
Gave you the print, gave you the blueprint, and you
still didn't follow it.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
It's like, yeah, and you know what.

Speaker 4 (24:12):
The part that God level you would say is that
you know, we're grown. No, you can't keep hiding as
if you was a child.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
We're grown.

Speaker 4 (24:24):
What's this one? Break man?

Speaker 3 (24:32):
Man?

Speaker 6 (24:33):
Man runnin?

Speaker 4 (24:36):
Yeah, what's that phone?

Speaker 6 (24:40):
Run nine?

Speaker 5 (24:43):
Operating from an unhealed place will always bring about detriment,
Yes it will. And we have a lot of people
out there that are operating out of an unhealed place
due to the childhood trauma, due to the unresolved trauma
that they have suffered as a child, and even some
as you know, early adults, you know, they're still walking

(25:05):
around there and carrying that pain like a badge of
honor ah and moving through life. Oh, wanting people to
feel bad from for him.

Speaker 4 (25:21):
Mm hm.

Speaker 6 (25:22):
And that's how they extract more out of people. Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (25:29):
That's crazy.

Speaker 6 (25:30):
Depending on the spirit, pity can attract or repel.

Speaker 4 (25:34):
He mm hmm.

Speaker 8 (25:37):
This you're a.

Speaker 6 (25:43):
Spitfire to they.

Speaker 4 (25:46):
You see the number.

Speaker 6 (25:47):
He don't want to call it.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
He just I really want, I really want him to
tap on where you go where most people in church
came in missing form. I just want you to just
you know, you know, if you've got time, sir, just.

Speaker 6 (26:15):
The time, sir, because I.

Speaker 4 (26:23):
Know this is a safe space. This is a safe
space for you to be able to unpack. Safe space.
I would love to hear that. It says, how important
is self awareness breaking free of victim?

Speaker 6 (26:43):
How important is self awareness in breaking free?

Speaker 4 (26:48):
Number one?

Speaker 3 (26:48):
Very important, It's very important.

Speaker 6 (26:53):
It's number one.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
Can we dare say it's even fundamental? It is fundaments?

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Is basic?

Speaker 2 (27:03):
I say basic because again, are you paying attention to
what's going on?

Speaker 1 (27:11):
Are you paying attention to what's going on? John? Do
you know why you are here today?

Speaker 4 (27:18):
John?

Speaker 1 (27:18):
Do you know what is happening? Do you know what
you're feeling?

Speaker 4 (27:20):
John?

Speaker 1 (27:21):
You're having an experience? But are you really here?

Speaker 6 (27:27):
And here we go?

Speaker 2 (27:32):
How do you know if there's a problem? You gotta
be aware. Are you reading yourself? Are you supposed to
be studying yourself?

Speaker 4 (27:42):
Right?

Speaker 2 (27:43):
In order to study, you gotta read. You gotta know
how to read. What's your script? What you're saying to yourself?
What's the conversation like these days?

Speaker 4 (27:54):
John?

Speaker 1 (27:55):
What's on your mind? John?

Speaker 2 (27:57):
Oh, life's got you down? Tell me more about it?
Is it life happening to you? Or are you happening
to life? Which way is it?

Speaker 1 (28:06):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (28:06):
Oh, it's always them. Damn, You're just they just picking
on you. Huh, the whole world picking on your hand.

Speaker 4 (28:13):
John. There's nothing you could do, I'm sure John.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
Nothing you could do.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
All this, All this that we're doing is just being
aware of what we're saying.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
Mm.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
People who thrive off of pity from themselves and others
don't sustain relationships with people.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
Who hold them accountable.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
When a person who knowingly operates in self pity as
an identity without intent to gain different or better, they
are simply that's it. Some people how they op Let's
see some people how they operate.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Some people how they operate instead of pity.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Okay, I guess you're saying some people operate in self
pity to have a sense of belonging a lot of
people give empathy to those who are pitiful because as
they're wanting to give to others what may not have
been given to them. And we got cut off right there.
But you don't have to read to know yourself.

Speaker 6 (29:14):
No, you don't have to read to myself. I want
to go worship the worship.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
So that's like saying you don't have to listen to
know yourself.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
Then, like, these are sensations reading, listening, interpreting, you're still observing.
These are activities monitor yourself, observe yourself. That's reading, looking, visualizing.
It's the information. What do we know about ourselves?

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Right now?

Speaker 6 (29:53):
I'm looking at these comments.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Do you need a book? I am the book? What
are we talking about here?

Speaker 4 (29:58):
More?

Speaker 1 (29:59):
You are book? She is the book? Reads yourself.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
Everybody is a living book written word consciousness. It's all
in the mind. It's all phenomenon in the mind. You
just whatever you want to do with it. Ain't got
to be read, man. You don't have to limit yourself
to to read. It could be listening. But you have
to be aware of what.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
What is it? What are we dealing with here?

Speaker 2 (30:25):
And what we're doing when we're in this victim mentality
is we're avoiding it. I'm not looking, I'm not reading.
I don't want any exposure to it. I'm afraid of it.
That's the victim mentality. Okay, more, can that be circumstance?

Speaker 4 (30:49):
Yeah? Can it be circumstantial? And reason why I said that?
God lovel touched on it earlier? And how do you
really how do you really know what's really going on?

Speaker 1 (31:03):
Is a.

Speaker 4 (31:07):
Is just saying wrong? How you know it's.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
Wrong if you've never seen anything.

Speaker 4 (31:12):
Outside of that? Like what if it's something that's passed down?
Matter of fact, I think you asked that was your
very question that you say, I.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
Already see what I already see what direction you're going in.

Speaker 4 (31:21):
King.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Let me let me counter that with how much do
you trust yourself?

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Again, if all I know, if I don't even know that,
I'm I'm rooted in self pity, ain't no trust?

Speaker 2 (31:35):
So again, do you trust your feelings when you have
an experience?

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Do you trust your feelings?

Speaker 4 (31:43):
Some people that's all they rely on is their feelings,
and their feelings can be misled, they can.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
But okay, if you trust your feelings, again, there's some
questioning there.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Why did I feel like that? Why do I feel
like that?

Speaker 2 (31:56):
So you trust your feelings enough to know that they're real,
so why not trust them enough to ask the question
why did I have that feeling?

Speaker 3 (32:04):
Because everybody's not at this stage in life?

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Again, you ask questions about everything else. Why he get
that role?

Speaker 4 (32:11):
Why? That's true, that's true. But to take the time
out to crucify myself or subject myself to a higher
level of consciousness.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
But you don't even have to You don't even have
to do that. Bro, We just we just asking questions,
we just talking.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
So right, So it's it's that again. If you're afraid
of yourself, If you are afraid of yourself, then yeah,
you're probably attacking yourself because you're afraid of yourself.

Speaker 1 (32:42):
Right, But you got to be aware of you. So
you gotta be aware of that. You gotta be aware
of that. So again we just asking the questions, bro,
that's it.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
But you gotta know how to Yeah, you gotta know
how to start asking questions, Okay, asking the questions, bro.

Speaker 4 (33:00):
Right. So I'm saying to the person that don't even
know that this is a problem, right, just saying they
don't even know this is a problem. What would lead
them to be like, well, let me start asking myself questions.
I don't even know I'm mooting into sil.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
All right, It's yeah, yeah, it's tolerance, right, what is
our level of tolerance? And then there's you know, beliefs
that come with that, cultural beliefs even like again, I
don't want this to be about race, okay, but imagine
and oppress people that you know that look like this, right, right,

(33:37):
and they have this mentality of man, I'm sick and
tired of being sick and tired. Right, But you've been
conditioned to believe that strength means to take a lot
of bullshit. You've been conditioned to that, right, So it's
all about who can take the most bullshit? The struggle Olympics,
this is what we're talking about. Right, you have that
belief you're just tolerate rating. At some point, your tolerance

(34:03):
level is going to crash out. You're gonna break down.
That is your sign right there, that's your sign. But
what happens is you don't pay attention to that. You
just numb it off. Like Yo, you just crashed out,
you blacked out, you reached your limit. You over right,
you had a mental breakdown. You didn't catch the first one.

(34:25):
You just gonna keep going back to your That was
your moment to adapt. This is our body, our minds mechanism.
Like yo, you can't keep I've been giving you signs
you don't want to pay attention. All right, cool boom
consequence right there. You supposed to pause for the calls
and say, yo, what happened, But no, you keep it going.

(34:50):
You say nah, nah, nah, I ain't weak, I ain't weak.
Let me double let me double up. I'm going back in.
No recovery, no recovery. So you go back in to
self medy all over again. It's a visious cycle. It's
a visious.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Cycle, over and over and over again.

Speaker 4 (35:07):
Like you don't even take the time off to acknowledge.
For one, it's not yielding your designed result that you
would if somebody was taking the time off to show empathy.
You don't even you don't even see it, you see
what I'm saying. And then on top of that, if
you don't have if you don't have an example, like
it has to be some type of example of you
say it best. You need something to offset your course

(35:29):
in order for you to get back on course.

Speaker 6 (35:32):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (35:33):
But if you don't have nothing to offset your course,
you were just repeating it. Watch Rents repeat. That's it.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
We're just you know, doing it over and over and
over and over again.

Speaker 4 (35:43):
And we bring it right back to to that you
find yourself getting a high off of being powerless, but
you're using that as your advantage, you know what I'm saying.
So it it's crazy, bro, And only say that because
I can say I'm currently dealing with something than with
like that right now with someone and it's like how

(36:05):
you how you? How you? Not? Like I know what
I've been through to push me to the point that
I am self a you know what I'm saying. And
I think that's the way that me and you connected, uh,
Scott Walker, because it was like, oh yeah, he's very aware,
you know, So with with that happening, I'm looking at
them like, but you don't see all these bread crumbs,

(36:26):
like I didn't do any of this. All of this
still point back to you at how every I know,
we don't like to deal with that part of it,
but it still points back to you.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
Like I'm not even gonna give you a mirror right now,
I'm just doing su.

Speaker 4 (36:44):
Suggestive theory that that you said you dropped it right there.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Okay, it's still right there.

Speaker 4 (36:52):
I'm just saying you said you dropped it right there,
not me, and it's been right there for ten years.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
When you're gonna take your time to take a look
at that.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
Mm hmmm, mm hmmm.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
That's that's I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
So let's let's let's transition into this because now now
we're trying to change, right, we're trying to Now, we're
not trying to change. We're not controlling people here, right,
this is somebody that we care about.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
So we're not going to try to make them change.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
We're going to encourage, motivate, inspire them to invite them
to change.

Speaker 5 (37:35):
Okay, how much tin you got on your hands to
do that? How much time do you have on your
hands to do that? That's a job in itself. You're
trying to convince somebody to break the wheel that they've
been they've been.

Speaker 6 (37:52):
Riding around in write some time. M hmm, thank you, Mark,
Just switch me out.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
So I think, if there's somebody you love, yep, yep,
there we go.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Yep. Amen, I say, you can't control.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
People, You can only control yourself, right, no doubt.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
Right.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
And of course you know it's just a matter of
that collaboration. Right.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
You're giving me permission to help you with the discipline.
You're giving me permission, you're inviting me in. You know,
you're letting the god in.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
Right.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
But this one right here is important because if it's
somebody that you love, you're trying to a man. I
know you can do better than this. I know this
fool can be better than this. He's just short changing himself. Right,
How do you encourage or how do you address their resistance?

Speaker 4 (38:58):
Right?

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Because you know that I want to resist people. We
resist change by nature. So what are some common reasons
that people resist changing their victim mindset? And again, this
is going to give you information about what to expect
so that when it's time to talk to them. You're like, oh,
I see, I knew you were gonna say that. Here's
my rebuttal, so king what you got.

Speaker 4 (39:22):
I just want to say this real quickly. Pain feels good, Kay,
it hurts so good. So I like to hold on
to it just a little bit. I understand what you're
trying to tell. What the pain feels so good? I

(39:47):
like that, I cried. I like that. I feel that
hers on my back ring so and I find more
and more reason to doubt myself, to not trust myself,
to not.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
See an end to any of the pain. It's almost
like I get.

Speaker 8 (40:05):
Mm hmm, yeah, yeah, you know, John, What was the question?

Speaker 4 (40:25):
What are some common reasons people resist changing their victim mindset?

Speaker 6 (40:30):
They like where they're at? Exactly right, that's the answer. Yeah,
pretty much, that's yeah.

Speaker 7 (40:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:40):
I mean, I mean.

Speaker 5 (40:44):
They're at they have no desire to change.

Speaker 6 (40:48):
What they have been doing works for them.

Speaker 5 (40:51):
They put out very little and received from everyone around them.

Speaker 6 (40:56):
Why would they change. They're getting their knee smith, They're
living in survival mode.

Speaker 5 (41:02):
All they need is a bed, water, food, and transportation
to get back and forth to where they.

Speaker 6 (41:06):
Need to go.

Speaker 5 (41:07):
Why would they change it works for them.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
But again that there's there there's some other ideas in there, right,
Uh so what we talked about fear earlier, they could
be just afraid of what's gonna.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
Happen, you know they're afraid of. Yeah, it's like.

Speaker 4 (41:29):
Mm hmm proof of mistreatment. Yeah, because then give me
with something good. I'm just like, like John just said,
I'm gonna rebut to rebuttal and say but tuesday it
was a car accident.

Speaker 6 (41:44):
I was.

Speaker 4 (41:47):
That.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
I have no idea who this lady is, so I
will say this, there is there is something about that
one though, that's going to arouse resistance when you when
you do that.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
I mean, really, just think about it.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
If if you were on the other side, right and
you say, all right, John, you're always trying to play
the victim, I'm gonna look in my library and figure
out a way to come back, because it's like, how
dare you insult me? I know that might be true,
but if you were going to try to convince me otherwise,
you would have said it in a different way. You
would have gave me an example, or you would have

(42:25):
asked a question to make me think about it instead
of trying to tell me about.

Speaker 3 (42:31):
Me, right, Yeah, you just became a problem John m M.

Speaker 6 (42:41):
Yeah right, But it's also about yeah, so what do you?

Speaker 2 (42:48):
I would also say, I'm sorry, what happened?

Speaker 6 (43:03):
What happened?

Speaker 1 (43:08):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Shoot, okay, dang, oh man.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
Some people are like a bottomless pit of need.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
The will they let's see, they will project progress and change, but.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Until they become their own source of motivation.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Yeah, and the person who is willing to dedicate themselves
to themselves. Okay, overcoming pity is an inside job.

Speaker 4 (43:38):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
We can support the decision on the outside, scaffolding their
self development and sufficiency skills, but they have to be
actively acknowledging that they notice the patterns of their own behavior.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yes, open the door for conversation.

Speaker 4 (43:54):
Once again, become their own savior.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Yeah, you gotta save I can help you. That part,
that part help.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Them save themselves. I'm not gonna save you. You're gonna
save yourself, and I'm gonna help you with it. That's
your baggage, but I'm gonna help you unpack it. I
might move a few, I might scoop to Yeah, but
now those are your bags, you know.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
And so there is a responsibility here.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
But there's also a high level of sensitivity that needs
to be given, right because we're in somebody else's house.
This ain't my house. You invited me in to help
clean it up. So how dare I say, ooh, child,
look at your walls. Oh this is green, Let me
paint that blue without your permission. Come on, now, we

(44:45):
gotta respect, right, But also on the flip side, because
I advocate for both sides. I don't have to be
in here in your home helping you with your emotional
psychological back. You acts to me, you agree to me
helping you. This is still your house. I'm gonna be

(45:06):
out of here within a couple of minutes, you know.
So understanding that dynamic, that relationship, having that mutual agreement
and respect, okay, because again we're talking about individuals who
are already feeling kind of bad about what they have
going on, and then you come in here and you're

(45:28):
about to renovate.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
You know, it's a very sensitive thing. It's a very
cautious thing.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
Peace, babe, Appreciate you.

Speaker 4 (45:36):
Bron Yeah, yeah, I like.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
I like what you said right here, you know, because
you got.

Speaker 4 (45:50):
And then like, uh, Skywalkers just stated, uh, you know,
the sensitivity of it. Uh, you gotta be careful because
while doing so, trying to give suggestions on how to
clean your house, still look at you.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
And be like.

Speaker 4 (46:07):
You're talking to line h Tell me, does that sounds
like you're trying to all right better watching now You've
got a whole problem all over.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
So really, you just gotta think of it like yo,
your position is more of a coach.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
Okay, the coach don't dribble the ball with you.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
You don't throw the ball to the coach like the
coach might occasionally get up in there. But really the
coach is just all right, doude, hey this look look
over here.

Speaker 4 (46:37):
All right, hey, all.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Right, let me ask you some questions about that. It's
more verbal than anything. You still doing the work, You're
still the You're still the player.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
Definitely, Mark, definitely.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
Giveing suggestions, well it can. It can shut people down.
That's why we we tend and we're gonna we always
forget this part. But we asked, hey, can I make
a suggestion?

Speaker 1 (46:57):
No you can't?

Speaker 4 (46:57):
All right, all right, all right, I shut up?

Speaker 7 (46:59):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going, miss Michelle, keep going. It
is that beautiful to wake up and to realize that
you know what, I need to make some changes.

Speaker 6 (47:13):
No one's telling you this is what.

Speaker 5 (47:14):
This is the conversation that you're having with yourself when
you when you look at your surroundings and say, you
know what, it's time for me to clean house, and
then you take that once you make that decision and
take that step forward, that step, step foot, a step further.
Oh my god, take your time. In a year's time,
you look back and be like, I'm glad I made
the changes that I did. So yeah, keep going, keep going.

Speaker 4 (47:40):
My bad I froze up because oh, because we can
always talk chat.

Speaker 6 (47:51):
What's next?

Speaker 4 (47:52):
Yep?

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Why does convincing often fail and encouraging someone to accept
accountability for their victim mindset? Emphasis on the convincing.

Speaker 6 (48:03):
Yeah, they don't need convincing. You can't convince them.

Speaker 5 (48:06):
They've already convinced themselves that where they're at is where
they're at. The only thing you can do is offer
encouragement to do something different. That's it, and be there
for them when they do have that mind change.

Speaker 6 (48:20):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (48:22):
Well, to be honest, god, level, I'm just gonna say
I invited you, but you showed up for the wrong party.
It's a pity party. So you know, uh the sign
or door said victimhood only.

Speaker 5 (48:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've sat back and I've watched people
attempt to help one person to know to know avail,
and I'm just like, you have a team of support

(49:00):
of people trying to help push you forward, and you're
just comfortable.

Speaker 6 (49:04):
With where you're at. Huh, that's exhausting like that?

Speaker 1 (49:13):
You know what?

Speaker 5 (49:14):
When when do when do you walk away from someone
who is having a pity party?

Speaker 3 (49:21):
Are you just enlightened when you do that?

Speaker 4 (49:24):
Or now you're gonna turn your back on me when
I need you the most?

Speaker 6 (49:32):
What what you just said to me?

Speaker 3 (49:36):
Where the accident? I need to get up out of here, somebody.

Speaker 5 (49:40):
You've been living on the floor on your back flat,
looking straight up everybody and then came over and offered
you a hand up.

Speaker 6 (49:48):
Now, I'm like too many you like just from up third.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
You know what's so crazy? Got level?

Speaker 4 (49:55):
I don't know if you remember this, Uh, Skywalker, This's
happened in barbershop. I'm just gonna throw this analysy y'all
her real quick. I'm hoping somebody that's chiming in can
relate to this or Betty, I ain't gonna say relate
has heard this before. So this man walk up to
the porch, say hey, what's up. What's going on?

Speaker 1 (50:11):
John?

Speaker 4 (50:12):
John say, oh, man, nothing much, and say man, why
your why your dog moaning like that? Ah?

Speaker 3 (50:17):
Here'll be all right. You sure, man?

Speaker 4 (50:19):
He don't sound too good, he said, yeah, laying on
a nail, He said, well, why he don't get off
the nail? Don't hurt bad enough?

Speaker 1 (50:30):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (50:32):
Wow, don't hurt bad enough.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
So when it starts to hurt bad enough, holler it up, toleranti.

Speaker 5 (50:45):
Oh my god, oh god, man, you have to accept
so I hope I'm pronouncing her name correctly.

Speaker 8 (50:58):
That Celia.

Speaker 6 (51:00):
Yeah, that.

Speaker 5 (51:04):
Just like when you're an alcoholic, you won't get until
you accept the fact that you that you're an alcoholic.
Same with being a victim. You have to accept it
before you change it.

Speaker 4 (51:15):
Oh my god, self diagnosed.

Speaker 6 (51:20):
Yeah, wow c C Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 4 (51:25):
And then uh with that self diagnosed skytt walker you
did you did say it plainly? Crash out sometimes now, unfortunately,
this is this is this is the downside of things.
Sometimes that crash out take you all the way out,
you know, and it ain't no coming back from that.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
We don't want nobody to ever get to that point.

Speaker 4 (51:48):
But but sometimes when you crash out, you know, you
tend to lose a particular way of life prior to this.

Speaker 6 (51:56):
Mm hm.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
You never go back to that. You can never go
back to that. I can never go back to.

Speaker 6 (52:03):
Can I just say something.

Speaker 5 (52:07):
I had someone pretend to have a crash out and
I had to walk away because after that that that
fucked with my mentor because they only did the crash
out for attention mm hmm.

Speaker 6 (52:20):
And got it and got it.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
Definitely, definitely.

Speaker 5 (52:29):
Yeah, you got a person that don't see a problem
with what they're doing. They just going to continue to
do it.

Speaker 4 (52:37):
It's just weren't small a listeners can take today, you
just start.

Speaker 7 (52:45):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (52:50):
O.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
Man, you gotta move out, Man, man gotta move out.
I live in that world. Got to move out and.

Speaker 6 (53:07):
Get you some good people.

Speaker 5 (53:11):
When I was at my lowest in Texas, I got
a phone call. I ain't gonna even say what I
was going through, but I had both of these gentlemen
on the phone.

Speaker 6 (53:22):
Okay, what's going on? How can we help get you
some good people?

Speaker 5 (53:29):
Man, don't take advantage of the good people and don't
take advantage of the good people you have around you.

Speaker 6 (53:37):
Man, I love these men.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
I love y'all.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
I love y'all. You know.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
So to that point right there, this is why we're
trying to distinguish those who want to that are motivated,
and those who are pandering and just trying to finesse you. Yeah,
they are content where they are, but it's not sustainable

(54:14):
and so they need some help and things sustained down there.
So you know, it's like poverty, hey, arms for the poor.
I mean, you know, I need a handout. I don't
really want no help. I don't really want to learn
how to fish. I just I need some fish.

Speaker 5 (54:36):
Sending positive energy to Ivy. They be failed, they're on
the way to the house, but they'll be all right.
But to go back to Renee, the only issue I
have with that is the fact that there are people
who aren't pretending to crash out. So it's hard to
determine if it's for shure or not. So you gott
to err on the side of caution, Yes you do.
But if you have someone that's always threatening to do

(54:59):
it over and over and over and over and over
and it's like.

Speaker 6 (55:08):
Why do you keep doing that?

Speaker 5 (55:10):
Is that what gets you more attention? When you threatened
to crash out?

Speaker 6 (55:15):
Like why do you?

Speaker 1 (55:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (55:17):
Why?

Speaker 6 (55:17):
Like why do you have to keep doing that? Like why?
Like why?

Speaker 5 (55:21):
And then then when I go down that road with
you and you're only doing it for attention, it's like okay,
now now you're fucking with my mentor.

Speaker 4 (55:35):
You know, uh I want to.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
Yah mmmm.

Speaker 4 (55:43):
I had a situation, uh at the barber shop one
late night cut and a brother, you know, just you
just feel the energy man just off and I kept
asking you okay, good, okay, good, okay good see yeh,

(56:03):
I'm straight straight. So after I finished cutting his herd,
he got up and paid me, he left, he went outside.
He just stood outside. So I took my time closed
up shruck because I was last one. Took my time
closed up shop and I leave or go outside? He outside,
Steve said, may straight. When he turned around, he's just crying.

(56:24):
He's like, damn, you know sure that let's talk about it.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
We sat down.

Speaker 4 (56:29):
When I say, and you know, I don't know if
they I'm not saying what it is, but I'm just
saying the stuff that they unpacked had me like, man,
that's a lot, right, that's a lot. So I decided
to pour into him.

Speaker 8 (56:48):
Mm hm, as you should.

Speaker 4 (56:51):
Yeah, right, hold on. Check the flip though, Check the
flip I'm pouring into him.

Speaker 3 (56:58):
He drigging it all up.

Speaker 4 (57:00):
I got down to my last I said, wait a minute, sir,
and like John said, he ready to crash out.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
So I had to flip it.

Speaker 4 (57:12):
I know this might sound unconventional, but I had to
flip it on him.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
Well, if you're gonna.

Speaker 4 (57:17):
Crash out, what I'm gonna do?

Speaker 3 (57:19):
Why you picked how to do this? H Why you
want me to be the victim of your victimhood?

Speaker 4 (57:26):
I'm not you. I wasn't using these particular words then,
but I'm trying to help you understand my route that
I took to him. Understand, Like, bro, if you do this,
you know you're gonna hurt some people unknowingly. Your pain
is gonna cause other people's pain by you thinking that
this is your solution. It doesn't work like that. In

(57:51):
the end, he was like, man, I don't want to
be like that. Man, I ain't trying to cause you
a I said, man, I need a drink. So we
left there. I went to the ball, We had a drink.
After the drink, we play pole, We stood outside, we
had another talk again. Man, that brother gave me a hud.
He became a faithful client after that faithful line, after

(58:12):
that faithful client. After that, every time he saw me
he had a different good report. I'm gonna be honest
with y'all. I didn't know what I was doing at
the time, but for me, I felt like I did
a good d that night.

Speaker 6 (58:27):
Mm, you did, You saved a life? Oh well, he said,
I've done that before. Also came.

Speaker 5 (58:37):
I lifted on the victim and stopped, and they stopped
threatening to unlive themselves man.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
Cecie, And I know you noticed that.

Speaker 4 (58:46):
That had me had my backsweat because I'm like, I
don't want you to do that in front front of it.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
No, bro, what you're talking about? No man, don't no,
don't do that. Don't do that. You know.

Speaker 4 (58:56):
I cracked a couple of jokes like shoot, I'm gonna
pay my card. You know what I'm saying, Like, don't
do that. Man.

Speaker 6 (59:03):
That pity and self sabotage can be addictive and an
emotional Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:15):
I had to stop disassociate. I was in a fantasy bound.
That contributed to me being in the cycle because I
kept living.

Speaker 5 (59:27):
Then school and started asking when Yeah, mm hmm, I
decided I can actively.

Speaker 6 (59:36):
Life. Isn't just happening to me?

Speaker 4 (59:39):
You're exactly, yeah, Mark, I didn't know I did that though.
Like I said at the time, Bro, I wasn't even
in that mind frame. I was just trying to talk
that man through it, That's all it was.

Speaker 6 (59:52):
Yes, mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
So with that right, one small action, listen, this can
take today to start moving out of victimhood.

Speaker 5 (01:00:05):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (01:00:11):
I'm gonna say this, and I'm being funny right now
so I can lighten the arob a little bit. This
is nonsense. Just bring it in. Give me a hug,
Just just give me a hug. Just give me a hook,
and don't let go to somebody start crying. Mm hmmm.
Let them know what that you seriously need her to
support them, always taking. Yeah, it ain't always the words, man,

(01:00:34):
You they say, hug and a tree grounds you. You'd
be surprised with just giving another human being a hug
would do for you? Serious?

Speaker 6 (01:00:50):
I give hugs.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
Very firm.

Speaker 8 (01:00:59):
Yeah I do.

Speaker 5 (01:01:06):
My I'm telling you, my daughter falls to pieces. My
son falls to pieces. When he walks to the door
and he's going through something, He's like, he'll take your
shoes off, because you know you don't walk in here with.

Speaker 8 (01:01:16):
The shoes on.

Speaker 5 (01:01:17):
He's like, my mother, the need the hoog boom and
bring it in, baby, bring it in, Just bring it
in and let him let it get it out.

Speaker 6 (01:01:26):
Yes, yeah, oh hold on, good question.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 4 (01:01:38):
I like that way. Can I take control of my money? Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
Oh, that's such a hard question, right, definitely, definitely, because
it means that you have to do something you haven't
done in a long time. You have to use your imagine,
you have to really use your vision. You have to
look at your life and say, what can I control

(01:02:11):
with these hands, with my body, with my agency?

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
What do I really have control over?

Speaker 7 (01:02:19):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (01:02:19):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
And that leads to acceptance. That leads to acceptance. And
so just by accepting a little bit by you ain't
got to do it all in one day. You got
the rest of your life. You're gonna increase the self
control as you go, but you just want to start
off small. It might be today you write it down, Hey,
I'm in control of this boom.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Okay, I'm done.

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
Homework assignment done tomorrow, you gotta do it again, though,
But if you want to really speed it up, you
could do like ten of them.

Speaker 6 (01:02:52):
Yeah, figure out how they can. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Yeah, But I would say in response to the question,
I would say Affirmations. I have an album called alf Affirmations.
You know, it wasn't just a musical project. It wasn't
just a musical project. That was therapy for me. And
so what I was sharing with you guys was my

(01:03:16):
therapeutic process. Not only was I doing the therapy in
the moment creating the albums, the songs, the artwork, but
also in there I'm actually doing the work.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
All those I ams, I am this, I am that,
I am intelligent. That is real. You cannot affirm something
that's not true.

Speaker 2 (01:03:38):
So this whole album might seem very self centered, but
I'm giving you examples. Really, I'm showing you my process
to say, hey, here's my work. You know you could
do the same thing too. You don't have to do
it as musically, just write down.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
Yeah. And with my art, I'm like, I'm a lyricist.

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
This is how creative I can take the app information
to where it's a double meaning. That's just what I
like to do. But you you can keep it simple.
I am successful in every way.

Speaker 6 (01:04:11):
I'm somebody.

Speaker 2 (01:04:13):
Let that resonate for a moment. When you say that
this is real. Now when you say that, just like
feel it, say it and feel it. And because you
want to try to believe that when you believe it,
you feel it, when you feel it, you believe it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
Then energy, oh man, because you got the energy.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
Now your brain is going to start working unconsciously while
you're sleeping on how to make that affirmation true because
you believe it rewards. But if you don't believe it,
like okay, you'll believe in in this church over here,
in this Bible, but you ain't gonna believe in yourself
like you you're the most constant. No, that's a very

(01:04:55):
fundamental thing right there. It's a very fundamental thing. So
just believing in yourself. And you can do that by
an exercise called affirmations. Write that down and then you
could do gratitude letters. Same setup. I am grateful for
because thanksgivings next week I am grateful for. And you're

(01:05:18):
telling the universe, Oh, bring some more of that please.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
That was lovely, thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
So you affirm yourself. You'd be grateful for what you
have because you can multiply it. That's appreciation, and suddenly
your victim, you start to generate energy to move out
of the victim hood.

Speaker 4 (01:05:43):
Yeah, gotta bring some definitely, and to piggyback off of that.
To add to it, I want to I want to
say two things. My first one is start claiming it. Yeah,
claim it, period, regardless of what it is. Just claim it,
Claim it, and let it stay right there. That you claim.

(01:06:06):
I hate to say it like this victory over whatever
the situation may be. Claim that it's already done. Claim
that it's already doing. Claim that you were before it.
Claim you're gonna have your great date. Claim you're gonna
get the love and appreciation, affection that you're looking for
or desire. Claim it, claim and claim it. As far
as affirmations, I know, if you ever met me in person,

(01:06:27):
I probably say peace, probably ten thousand times in a
conversation piece this piece.

Speaker 3 (01:06:32):
That that's peace, beast, peace and peace. That oh, that's peace.

Speaker 4 (01:06:35):
Bes I used to use that word so much in
a barbershop. I get.

Speaker 3 (01:06:46):
I know what you're gonna say, peace.

Speaker 4 (01:06:47):
I know you're gonna peace.

Speaker 3 (01:06:48):
Peace, this and peach.

Speaker 4 (01:06:50):
Yeah, what are you gonna say? Peace? Yeah, find you
a word that you can flip and make your trigger
word to motivate you to just inspire yourself to that.
Because I'm using this word, I want to reroute and
trick my mind to put me back in that that
that space of peace, that space of healing, that space

(01:07:10):
of taking the time to acknowledge myself, to love myself,
to appreciate myself, to put myself in a better space
amongst other people. Let that word put so much depth
to you to where you was insecure, you become secure.
Use that, and I'm gonna say it again, it's always
peace with me. I don't care who it is I'm

(01:07:31):
dealing with. I found myself coming to the point of
understanding to where I can apply peace to everything.

Speaker 3 (01:07:37):
But I gotta have an understand it.

Speaker 4 (01:07:38):
There will never be no gain without gain, or dark
without light, no negative without positive. Once I became to
the understanding, I find peace in every game.

Speaker 3 (01:07:48):
I promise you. I promise you that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
It's a lot of reconditioning, y'all. Okay, Yes, it's it's
another type of exercise. We were talking about going to
the gym here's a mental gym right here. You gotta
work it out. Thoughts create reality, what you believe. You
gotta reprogram your mind. And it starts with what you believe, inventory,

(01:08:18):
what you believe, you believe, you believe what you believe.
I'm gonna have to write that down.

Speaker 8 (01:08:30):
All right.

Speaker 6 (01:08:31):
Do we have any more questions?

Speaker 1 (01:08:33):
John?

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
I mean, we got more, but this is a good
place to pitch it all. Affirmations, gratitude letters, y'all. These
are cognitive strategies. Effective empirical research supports it. This is
what we do, y'all. It's mental health. You want to
change your financial situation, yo, you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:50):
Got to broaden your mind. It starts with me first.

Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
You want to change your relationship status or the nature
of your relationships, has got to start with you. This,
this is what we're encouraging in y'all. This is what
we're encouraging. We're not telling you what to do. You
can do whatever you want, but we're encouraging. If you
want better gratitude affirmations, we claim your power.

Speaker 4 (01:09:14):
Claim your power.

Speaker 5 (01:09:16):
Sorry, we just had a conversation and you was like,
if you want relationships over her?

Speaker 6 (01:09:22):
Like yes, I like, wait a minute, no, yeah, I'm good.

Speaker 5 (01:09:30):
I'm just good. I'm good with being myself right now.
Just yeah, loving me. Give that energy to you, something positive,
working out like John and write them affirmations, write them
down in the morning.

Speaker 6 (01:09:42):
That's how IVY got me started, you know.

Speaker 5 (01:09:45):
And get around some good people that's gonna hold you
accountable and push you forward. At the same time, it's
people that's not going to enable you to continue to
be who you are and accept you in that, in
that pity pity party. No, you don't need that. People
that continue to enable you to be who you are
also benefits off that version of you. And with that

(01:10:09):
being said, I want to thank you all for jumping
in on tonight's Live. I appreciate all the comments, the likes,
the love, thank.

Speaker 6 (01:10:17):
You, thank You're welcome.

Speaker 3 (01:10:19):
Mark, don't forget real real fast, real fast.

Speaker 4 (01:10:23):
I gotta go real fast. One. One heavy heavy affirmation
is two letters no. Learn how to empower yourself by
saying no. Might sound unconventional, but try it. Sometimes sometimes
you have to tell yourself no, not today, I shall

(01:10:44):
not do this again.

Speaker 6 (01:10:46):
Yeah that, yes, there you go.

Speaker 3 (01:10:48):
We're trying to do something different today.

Speaker 6 (01:10:51):
Not today.

Speaker 4 (01:10:52):
I'm gonna tell myself no, and I'm gonna claim today.

Speaker 6 (01:10:56):
There you go. Yeah, put that monster in a corner.
Put it, yeah, put that mind stay in the corner. Yeah.
Thank you, Cec. You don't forget to like subscribe and share.
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:11:07):
Which one she's on, Mins of Yours, lu Warren or
even Ivys, but yeah, thank you, Cec, Thank you, Mark,
thank you Michelle, Piece of cake more Bay. I'm probably
gonna say your name wrong, but I'm just gonna stick
with Renee because that's my.

Speaker 6 (01:11:22):
Name, Renee. Thank you.

Speaker 5 (01:11:28):
Next week we'll be back with I'm sorry, seasonal effective disorder.
It's that time of year. Let's talk about it.

Speaker 6 (01:11:40):
John, you got me.

Speaker 1 (01:11:41):
Salutes