Struggling w/Corporate Backstabbing

Hi, frahnd!

This season, we sharing how we’ve been struggling with others, the ways its been affecting us, and the small things we’re doing to change our outlooks on our situations and take back the reigns of our social lives.

Today’s episode is all about surviving the messy culture of corporate life and we invited our new frahnd, Ruby Gomez to help us spill some tea and clock bad behavior!! We’re talking drama, backstabbing, the toxicity that follows us even after we escape those circumstances, and we’re sharing the work we’ve had to do to leave the baggage behind.

What are your thoughts on today’s convo? Have you dealt with corporate backstabbing? Share your thoughts or horror stories with us on Instagram or YouTube!

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Not to mention the snail mail, exclusive wallpapers hand-drawn by yours truly (AI could neverrrrr), and so many more perks! Even free members get perks not available anywhere else, like BTS blog posts and an opportunity to submit questions to our upcoming mini series, “Ask-a-Frahnd!”

Thirty, Flirty, & Trying is an individually produced podcast, so if you love this episode, please leave us a review! Your engagement means the word to us and makes a huge difference on the success of this show. Just remember to be kind please cause we’re sensy.

See y'all in the next episode: Struggling w/Dating: Singles Edition! TTYL👋🏼👋🏼

📲 Let's yap

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😊NoLo's Socials

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😘Chris' Socials

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🤩Today's Guest

Ruby: holarubygomez ; itsrubycreative



Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Chris Ghost. Hi, friend.
I'm Nolo and I'm Chris, and we are so glad that you had time to
squeeze us into your schedule today.
We are 30, flirty and quite honestly just trying.
So if you are Tubu, then this isthe right podcast for you.

(00:23):
We're in our second season struggling with others.
Today's episode is all about surviving the messy culture of
corporate life, and we invited our new friend Ruby Gomez to
help us spill some tea and clocksome bad behavior.
Thank you, Rick, Beanie or Ruby.Hey you guys clips.

(00:44):
We are talking drama, backstabbing, the toxicity that
follows us even after we escape those circumstances, and we're
sharing the work that we've had to do to leave the baggage
behind. So grab your wine of cafecito,
get comfy, and let's talk about things that we should probably
be saving for a therapist. I'm so fucking tired.

(01:11):
OK hey let's start whining and whining today we are drinking
rubies wine of choice to send us3 wines and we went to the store
the. First one we can find.
Yay, no Louis, like what do you have?
Is it in stock? Can I grab it now?

(01:31):
So what Ruby, why don't you tellus about this as I pour it?
What? What is this?
This is Roscato, so like it's. Wine.
Yes, it's wine. I love red wine.
I prefer red over whites, really.
I don't discriminate wine, so I drink all at the end of the day,
see? I do, I do, I do discriminate.

(01:53):
But yeah, this wine I, I think in like my early, late teens,
early 20s, I started to like getinto wine cuz a friend
introduced me to. Yeah, of underage.
Drinks. Yeah, that's a different
episode. She.
Means in her when she was 21, like teens.
Early 20s allegedly, like put a number on it, yeah.

(02:16):
And, and I got really into it. And then all these like when I
would share or not share it, butwhen I would drink it in front
of my friends, I'd be like, oh, you a fancy bitch.
And I'm like, OK, period. And then they're like, oh, but
let me try it. And I'm like, oh, OK, I guess
you want to try this fancy bitch's drink.
So I'm screaming, I'm over here like, OK, so I started like
showing them this is the wine I drink.

(02:37):
This is what I like, This oh, this is good.
This is good. I'm like, hey, this is my
bottle. Like next time let me know so I
can get. The right shit this is.
Mine, Yeah. So then I really, I just started
to get into like different winesand this is one of my favorite
because it's like it's not superdry, it's not like crazy sweet.
It's right in the middle. And I think it's just like a
good intro wine to get started. Yeah, so it says Italia Roscato,

(03:00):
Rosa Dolce, Sweet Red, and they sell.
It at Olive Garden. So then there's that too.
And you? Can get it with unlimited bread
stick and we love that. Honestly it's nice.
Catch me? Olive Garden, Yeah, Italian.
It's. OK, yeah, we're, we've got.
Let's see. What does it say?
Aromatic notes of cherry, BlackBerry and red Raspberry.

(03:24):
Touch of sweetness underlines the appeal.
This charming wine, bro. The this the copy is free.
Description. Yeah.
Yeah, that's something. It's not dry.
It's not like super crazy overlysweet.
OK, all right, well, let's give it a shot.
Chin, chin, Chin. Hello.

(03:48):
Oh, OK, that is sweet. But it's not like so.
Oh, it's kind of buttery at the finish.
It's nice. That's like and.
That's why the tone, that's why I'm saying it's like it's not to
be all the way, right? For someone that's like not
inside, right? Yeah, yeah.
My only issue with rats is, and I'm sure I'm saying this
incorrectly and it's not saying typically whatever, but it's my

(04:11):
understanding that they have like more sulfates or something
like that. And I always get more of a
hangover and a headache when I drink rats compared to whites.
And that's the real thing. I believe that, yeah, I don't
get hangovers with wine. I don't know if that's like
something I'm about body or DNA,but I don't get I'm.
Like what's it like? Just like I am.
I am meant to drink venal, yeah.Yeah, yeah.

(04:32):
So I think I'm like, I'm in the right place.
I'm drinking the right poison. Oh my God, no, I I the what?
I don't have that issue with organic wines middle, but those
are out of budget so well, it's a.
Tangent Whenever I was looking for wines last week and I was
looking for one for Katie's house warming party and I was

(04:55):
asking the guy like, yeah, whereare your organic wines?
And he was like, oh, well, they're technically on this
side. He's like, but I'm honestly
like, what is organic wine? Because they all wines have
technically sulfates. It's that there's no added.
Sulfate. So I was just like, ah,
interesting. Interesting.
Yes. Yeah, but yeah.

(05:17):
We're just paying to not get like the extra placement on the
side though. Exactly.
Yeah, yeah. But he said that if you are
looking for something like that,Argentina, Italy, I mean, most
European wines are good about that.
So if you don't have like an organic section, yeah, or store,
then look for yeah, those imported wines.

(05:38):
So OK. Yeah, side tangent.
And next time I get my hands on anything, like I really wanted
to get a Latino owns wine, you know, just to try it out because
that's not very like something you talk about like we talk
about tequila or yeah, but it's like, no, like there are some
wineries that are fully Latino owned.
You know, I hadn't actually thought about that and like,

(05:59):
shame on me. But no, that's a very good point
You. But I mean, next time I've never
had myself a bottle, but when I do, I'm like, I'll let you guys
know and then we can try it out.We're all together.
I know the fries. OK, well, this is too much joy
and we're here to whine. So this is so much joy.
Let's complain, bitches. So let's start.
Ruby, why don't you kick us off?What is your Wine of the week?

(06:24):
My wine of the week. So I've been here in Texas or
living here for like about 3 1/2years and just the other day I
learned about taxes, okay, here in Texas, you know, and how it
crazy rate like it ranges, especially here like DFW where
you're in Dallas and you're likethe 4K or so in Texas and then
you're like in Arlington and it's like 2, 3 is shammels and

(06:47):
they're like Fort Worth is like 1.
Yeah, yeah. And I mean.
What a blessing. That's great.
But at the same time, it's all like, my heart goes out to all
my friends that are like in the other areas and I'm just like,
what is going on? And then the minimum wage is
like what, $8 here? Yeah, it's, it's insane.
It's something, yeah. So yeah, and in Chicago it's

(07:08):
like about 4K, so we're thinkingabout comparing it to Dallas,
but the minimum wage over there is like $18.
So yeah, yeah, at least that really bothered me.
And then I was just like, I was just feeling uncomfortable about
it. And I'm just kind of like, what
are we doing this? Is very interesting in the way
that it does it's talk. So, and I know I'm like, oh,

(07:31):
what a heavy topic to like wonder about, but that's not.
Like I mean. It's reality.
We're in their 30s and we're over here like, oh, home
ownership. And it's like, no wonder nobody
wants to go out and like buy a house or can't afford to buy it.
Like it's just so annoying. It really is.
It's me. I was formerly in the builder
industry and it was just very hard in some aspects because

(07:54):
like we lobby for these things that are good for the home
builder industry. But like like the ultimately I
knew so many of those were not on the owners best interest.
And as a consumer that isn't a big business owner, like most of
the people there who doesn't have all of this money and

(08:14):
stocks and all of these things so that my wealth is coming from
other places. So I'm not concerned about such
a small petty thing like home ownership because I've got homes
galore. Yeah.
And like I, I was like y'all, how do you, how are you OK with?
Yeah, it was just, it's difficult.

(08:36):
It's seeing the some of the things that go on is is.
And this is corporate America. Yeah, honestly.
And maybe that's probably what about this is that?
Yeah, this. Is corporate America and that's
that's why I wanted to bring it up because I was just like, I'm
learning all these things about here.
We're in Chicago. I was just in that city.
So I only really like focused onthat specific city.

(08:57):
Nothing outside of that, really.Yeah.
So coming here, it's like, what a difference, Like literally
from traveling maybe like 10-15 minutes to each different city
or whatever, like in between. I mean, yeah.
And I'm just like, wow. Like This is why the streets.
With money are really good aboutlobbying for things that they
want in this state and they've got fanatic people behind them

(09:20):
who definitely do the lobbying and wholeheartedly.
So it's very, it shouldn't be sointrinsically tied with each
other, but it really is. So it's very interesting to see
how it affects things like the tax rate and the home ownership
and us being able to actually, Idon't know, live.
It's all connected. It's all connected conspiracy

(09:43):
theories. That's a crazy.
Guy, Yeah. Yeah, I know.
I'm like, is it conspiracy theory or is it common sense?
What? Maybe people lie and we're not
taking their word. Like you're the crazy ones,
yeah. We are the crazy ones, no?
Actually, yeah. Definitely.
So Nolo, what's your wine for the week?

(10:04):
Let me take a sip first, Nolo said.
Listen, before I get started. Before we get started, well.
I think if anyone already has followed me on Instagram and you
guys know that I had a recent injury where I slipped at an
indoor water park so and I was feeling better.

(10:26):
I was feeling better until yesterday.
I accidentally like my toddler'shead and my elbow met and I've
realized that my elbow is not feeling great.
It's still like, you know when you hit your funny bone and it's
just like that sensation. It was like that consistently
yesterday. And no, I know I was.

(10:48):
In so much. Pain and you know how sometimes
when you hurt yourself and then you consistently hit it or like
you know when you bite your lip and you consistently bite it?
It was like that for my elbow. I consistently kept bumping into
it all day yesterday and it was about to be my 13th reason.
I'm literally shaking just thinking about it like.
And you would think it would be my bruise that's on my backside

(11:09):
that is like the one killing me.No, it's my fucking.
No. And you guys, that bruise that
she has on her backside? I show this.
I love you. No, no, I love you.
It's disgusting. Like it's so good.
It looks so painful. Into the awkward thing.
It's the word like I my heart goes out to you.
I'm so sorry that you're having to exist right now with that.

(11:31):
Like I can only imagine how muchit hurts to sit and be alive.
The way I've had to adjust the way I sleep this week and every
time I roll over to my side because I sleep on my side, but
I like to roll over from one side to the other.
So when I roll over to the side,not only am I making contact
with my elbow, but also sitting right on top of that nice juicy

(11:51):
bruise. And I'm like.
Not the juicy. Bruise.
So your girl has not got the most restful sleep.
I'm in pain. And maybe, you know, it's just
one of those things. It's one of those weeks.
And I'm also Lou tealing. So like the fact that I'm even
here. You're welcome.

(12:12):
Normally showed up to record today and I was like OK it's not
about me. She's she's she's in her fields
and I need AI need to chill and not ask her if she's mad at me.
I just we're fine and I kept wanting to ask her if she needed

(12:33):
something and I'm like leave heralone.
Leave her alone. Leave her alone so.
But it's OK, I feel a little better now so.
I'm not a friend. Cheers to that.
Cheers to that, Cheers to that, cheers to that.
What about you, Chris? My wine on the week is that this

(12:54):
is so specific. I'm like, I've got a very.
Specific. Name.
My whine of the week is that I'mtired of being loved but not
respected. I'm tired of being loved but not
respected. That's my whine of the week.
That's the. It's just because, like, you can

(13:17):
love me all day long, but that doesn't mean that the actions
that you're taking don't affect me negatively and I get to be
upset about that. Yeah.
Just because you love me doesn'tmean that I can't be upset with
you. Like, sucks for you.
You're loving me, but you're also like, being a Dick to be

(13:42):
the diplomatic about it. And it's just, I'm thick and
tired of it. That's the one Very.
That's it's short and concise this week.
It's very specific. There's thoughts happening in my
head and I'm. But you know, it's just, yeah,

(14:02):
that's I'm being in. And I'm like, no, I should
actually explain. We have a podcast for a reason.
Let me do that thing that I'm here to do.
Yeah, let me. Yeah.
It's share the tea. It's.
Share the tea right but. Yeah.

(14:23):
Who dove this chip into your whack?
A mole? Who broke out there?
I don't know. I just, you know.
I know it's like she's. So informada into.
That into that 100% pause pleasethink house for so OK yeah no

(14:47):
it's living with my parents and my husband has very much brought
to light a couple of different things within the dynamics with
my relationship with my parents and not all bad obviously, but
there are a handful of things that I'm just going to have to
get over. One of them is the fact that my

(15:13):
I continue to feel like my father respects my husband more
than he respects me and I feel like he comes into conversations
with me already with a chip on his shoulder about how I'm
feeling about him. He makes, I feel like he usually
takes anything like it if it's early in the morning and I give

(15:33):
a one response, it's not that it's early in the morning and
I'm fucking tired. It's like I'm having an attitude
with him, you know? And it's like, bro, it's 6:30 in
the morning and I've slept for five hours because my cat
started being on one at 2:00 AM.Like it's not about you, like,
but when Fuller says anything, of course Mr. Fuller.

(15:55):
And I'm like bro, bro, like, andlast night we were getting
dropped off and my dad was wanting to turn left to park
before he dropped us off. We were going to Magnolia.
And for those in from Fort Worthwho know Magnolia Ave., you know

(16:15):
Uber drivers usually just put their hazards on and stop
wherever and drop you off and figure it out.
Right. Yeah, figure.
It out it is with the car behindyou just waits.
It is what it is. And so for what we were, we were
getting dropped off. It made sense to stop right
before he turned left to go on to Magnolia.
And the the T is that Fuller andI should have said, hey, dad,

(16:42):
just put on your blinkers and let us out.
Most cars do that. It's fine.
Instead, what Fuller and I said was what are you doing?
Oh my God. Because we are both like, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa. Really.
You know, like we. In the moment, we were not
communicating the healthy way that we should have whatever.
But Fuller started it. OK, Fuller.
What I was like what? Are you doing.

(17:02):
I was like, Dad, yeah, Dad, you don't need a turn in.
And then Fuller said something else.
And I said something else. And then my my dad goes, well, I
can't just stop wherever you want, Nicole.
And I was like, first of all, not you, Dad naming me.
OK, Like let's. And he said that and I I just
kind of like paused in my anger.And I was like, he, he said it

(17:24):
first, like, I'm like, why am I the only one getting yelled at?
Like, and, and when we were leaving, Fuller knew what to do
and he turned around and he was like, thank you so much for
dropping us off, Edgar. Like to make sure that it ended
up because otherwise it would have been, I should have just
let her get an Uber the entire time.

(17:46):
And, and so. But because Fuller sealed it
with a kiss, you know it, we were fine.
And I'm just like. Because like, why?
Just because you know my it my troubles more, I deserve less

(18:13):
respect. Just because you know my hurt
more, you know my insecurities more, you know my troubles and
where my downfalls are, I deserve less respect.
But because you haven't seen that side of Fuller, he doesn't.
He he can get the very best of you.
And I've already had been feeling this way for a minute.

(18:33):
I, Loki talked about it at the end of one of these episodes,
but we're filming them out of order.
So I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna go to.
Yeah. Listen to all of them.
Yeah. It's very much giving ADHD like
boom boom boom, just jumping allaround anyway.
It's very much like I'm like I Ithe making me feel like I need

(18:56):
to be perfect in order to deserve your love in your
respect. It's just very, very tiring.
I, I wish I would have been smarter than to talk to my
brother about my gender identityin while my father was in the
house because I do wish he had never found out because
everything would be so much easier because he would still be

(19:17):
treating me like he thought I was a perfect child, which had
already changed because I used to dress like the perfect child.
And now I dress like whatever because I no longer dress to
assimilate to American culture. And so and so like, like it's
one of those things where it's like the more that I come to
love myself and the more that I come to be comfortable within

(19:38):
myself, the more that my father and his relationship stray.
And it's very hard. And he does this thing where he
says that just because he's not on my side doesn't mean that
he's not gonna be by my side. And I'm like, I know that you
think that that's enough. And I'm gonna take it because
that is what you can offer me. And I want you in my life more

(20:00):
than I care, more than I want you to fully respect me, Which,
whatever. But.
It still sucks to have to process that because at the end
of the day, you love me despite of who I am and you will never
love me as I am. Yes, and so I'm like on top of
that to on top of me knowing that to just feel so

(20:22):
disrespected. I'm like, no, no, wow, this is
the one that actually made me tear up.
OK, look at that. See, it's been a we we had had
money in it. We had tissues for the last one
and everything because we were talking about daddy issues.
Oh, that's episode. It was a daddy mommy issue.
Mommy. Issue I should have been on that

(20:43):
one too. She's.
Like shit, you should have called Bro I.
Got. She said let's do a Part 2.
Let's do. A Part 2.
OK, I got a lot of tea for that.Okay, well listen, encore
encore. It's just y'all have enough tea
right here? Right, thank you.
Thank you to Mr. Producer for the.
Tissues. Yeah, so that's, you know, so

(21:04):
that's that's my wine. It's just, it's hard sometimes.
I'll get over it. It'll be fine.
I'll work through it. That's why we pay a therapist.
But yeah, sometimes it's hard. And I hope that even community
right like us, like I know that we just recently all met and
stuff and we got close really fast.
We know all of each. Other I mean, we're literally

(21:25):
right here in each other's air, like.
I know I feel so bad for like the one or two guests that
aren't like actually really close friends with us yet
because we. Always come nice.
And I feel very privileged to have had this like time with you
outside of just this podcast, you know, because so we got to
spend time in other events. Yeah, we have lunch together.

(21:46):
Like it's just been really nice to just get to know you guys on
a personal level. So I do feel very comfortable
here. So thank you.
Like it's super vulnerable, but also like super amazing because
it's totally valid. I appreciate you sharing that.
Just seriously. Yeah.
OK. Oh my God.
This is really whining here. Full real.

(22:10):
Full real. Now that we have released all
that negativity. Let's go ahead.
Let's bring it. Back, let's go ahead and reset
with a quick moment of mindfulness.
So I invite you guys to join us in this moment at whatever
capacity that you can. We're going to go ahead and
close our eyes and take a momentand take some deep breaths.

(22:33):
So go ahead and relax, close your eyes if you can.
We're going to take a nice deep breath in and out, inhale again,
and out and one more in and out,and we can slowly blink our

(23:02):
eyes, our shoulders, wiggle yourhead, your fingers.
We're gonna go to tune. Back in.
Yeah. Tune back in and get ready.
All right. Conversation.
OK. Let's do this.
Whether you worked in office, retail, or even remote, you've

(23:25):
probably experienced some version of this.
Bosses who are more concerned with looking like they're in
charge instead of working hard to be competent of their
positions. Shady Co workers with fake
smiles whose words don't quite match their actions, or the boss
who just cannot give you enough credit.
Corporate culture can be outrageously toxic and it often

(23:48):
bleeds into our everyday lives without us even noticing.
Our guest today, Ruby Gomez, didn't just survive the
corporate jungle, she is now thriving while running her own
business, a community driven design agency called Ruby
Creative. Ruby.
Yes, with your own business. OK businesses because we got to

(24:12):
put respect on her name. Yes, yes, yes.
So Ruby, tell us a little bit ofwhy you're such a boss bitch.
Tell us, take us back. What is your corporate
experience been like? Corporate I yeah, I never even
thought I'd ever leave. Like, no, it's horrible.
It's one of those like first Gen.

(24:34):
Trauma like how you were, you know, we were talking earlier
about being that perfect daughter and it was just that
like if the company like Long story short, if the company
didn't shut down or like sell off the way it did, I would have
never left. Oh yeah, because that's not.
Getting to. Corporate was the dream.
Yeah, for sure. That was a secure thing.
That was like. Secure the 401K, secure the

(24:57):
Insurance Week app because we don't have, you know, we didn't
have that. So you need to have that.
Yeah. I mean, to begin with, my dad
was not even supportive of me becoming a designer or an art
person. Yeah.
So he thought that I was going to be selling art on the street
or something, but. Be a starving.
You know, yeah, I know literallythe definition of what would be
like a starving artist, but thatwas already terrifying.

(25:21):
So the least that I could do is secure a corporate position and.
Art. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and and mixing those two. You're gonna do it, do it right?
Yeah. And then do it monetizing.
And it's so like, it's not. Those are things that we don't
talk about. Like we don't.
What do you mean art incorporate?
Like was that? Is that even like a real thing?

(25:41):
Yeah, it's like I found some type of loophole where I'm like,
yeah, I could do this in the corporate world.
And then still like, please, my family.
Yeah, for being the first daughter, first granddaughter,
first everything on both sides of my family.
So it's like, I have to do this.Yeah, even if I didn't want to,
I have to. But hey, at least I'm doing my
career. I feel like a lot of the art

(26:02):
positions within the corporate world, because they are art
based get you don't have the starting salary.
That's some of these. Oh for sure.
You have for sure. So yes, you are within the
corporate. You technically made the dream,
but also you're starting at about 20 K less than a lot of
your peers are. Yeah, and let's not even add the
like, extra layer that I'm a woman.

(26:23):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And a.
Woman of. Color women.
Yeah. Right.
So let's add that extra layer tothe corporate world.
But I started in corporate very,very young.
I was 19 going to be turning 20.My first position as the it's
called, it was like the we a coordinator, which is short for

(26:46):
woman's economic advancement coordinator.
Okay. 19 I know 1919. Which was like the assistant to,
to the director of education. And I was also the youngest in
the company to start. And, and that's because again,
the, the like first Gen. that you have to be perfect, the, you

(27:10):
know, best. I had the best grades and honor
student and all that. So I was like, this is what's
going to make my dad proud. And my dad was very, very big.
I'm like, you're not gonna work.I don't want you to work in
hospitality because that's us. All our family knows is to work
in the hospitality, which I havelike the most extreme respect.
Oh yeah. So.
But he's like, I don't want to see you in that type of

(27:31):
position. Isn't that funny?
I. Remember clearly in high school
whenever one of my classmates inmy same graduating class said
that she wanted to go to hospitality, being like you're
literally white and middle class, why would you go into
hospitality? Like what do?
You mean you're gonna study? What is that?
You. Have a leg up in the world.
Why would you go into hospitality?
Like, yeah. No, that was a big, that was a

(27:52):
big thing. And I obviously I have so much
respect for my dad. No, and I love everything, you
know that he came to this country, he was six years old.
He built a life. It's a foundation.
Like I wanted to make him proud.And I'm like, I'm like, I like
to tell people I'm my father's first son because I'm.
Technically an eldest. Son, but I'm right of the eldest

(28:14):
daughter energy. You should have been in our last
episode. I'm telling you so bringing it.
Back I did. I did the thing I got into this
position right My my boss was, was Colombian or is Colombian.
And it was funny, she never wanted me to talk to her in
Spanish, even though that was the only way I could understand

(28:35):
her. So while I was doing that, I was
going to school full time to finish my design degree.
So I was working full time and then designing or going to
school full time. So it was just like trying to
balance those things together. But then after it, it didn't
work out with my school schedule.
I needed to find another job, but again, another corporate
job, right? Because like that was going to

(28:56):
secure me, that was going to bring in.
And again, like I have good and bad of that experience.
But I went ahead and I applied for a data entry specialist at
this engineering company and I was interviewed by like 3
different people and it needed an associate's degree.
The applications like we needed an associate's degree.
I had no degree. I had no type of degree.

(29:19):
Yeah, I did get hired. I started at the other job at 19
and and I turned 21 and that position as a data entry person
to these engineers in the office.
That's a fee, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was the corporate. The corporate world is just like

(29:40):
you. You think that there's like this
manual, that no, that you walk into this corporate world and
they have their shit together and they don't.
No, there is no. Such thing.
Once I joined the corporate world, I realized that really
the only thing that you need in order in order to join the
corporate world is to know one person.
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's who you know.

(30:00):
You don't need the degree. You don't need that because I
don't have the degree either. But because I was brought in by
somebody who believed in me and gave me a position, and then I
proved myself very quickly, I was able to get the manager
position, which I should have never gotten because I don't
have anything else besides my associate's degree.
So there were all of these things that I was missing from
my resume that I didn't have theexperience for in that

(30:24):
particular position. But because she gave me a
chance, everything else from there was ECPC Limon's PC.
Isn't that crazy? Because even for me in my
position, it was because of my mom.
Yep, who worked for my boss as ahousekeeper nanny and because he
needed someone for his firm. They had she had recommended me

(30:50):
and I mean I also don't have anyexperience in finance.
I didn't have any experience. I mean, yes, I had some admin
experience from working at the studio and I was a dental
assistant and you know, so it's like basic experience, you know,
but to where I am now where if you were to.

(31:13):
Like. Apply for this job, Yeah, like
you do have to have some sort ofbackground or a degree in order
to get into this. But because I basically grew
with the business, right? Yeah.
And learned as I go, he basically molded me into what he
wanted. So like, yes, I'm very grateful
to also. What the fuck?

(31:33):
Yeah, yeah. Cuz your girl would never ever
go into school for finance. Like like working with numbers.
So the fact that that's what I'mdoing, younger Noelle would be
like, how did we get here? Honestly, I love it for us
because I don't have to handle any of our taxes for the
podcast, anything for our business that's number related.

(31:55):
I'm like, what do you think our new wallpaper should be for
them? Yeah, I.
Like that question, yeah, that's, that's, that's the type
of questions that I deal with too.
Like my husband handles all the like anything finance related.
Yeah. And I, I do work with numbers.
It's because I'm designing the number and it's more of an
element and not like I need to like put an Excel spread sheet
together. Like it's more that that's

(32:17):
that's thing. But you know what, what to you
to you are, are all of our points right?
It's that I do feel like out of the womb, it's like we need 25
years of experience and it's like from where?
From where? Like, first of all, I'm I was
like grew up in poverty in survival mode and I'm trying to
just live and have food on the table.

(32:39):
Where am I going to find? No, it's because you're supposed
to have an aunt or an uncle or agrandfather who can put you in
an internship to get experience while you're in college because
you don't have to have a job because your mommy and daddy are
paying for your tuition. So you can afford to just go to
school and party and then do theinternship where you get to just
and not do anything and then youget the job.
And but those of us who didn't have the internships are like.

(33:03):
Where do I get it? So like Harry Potter, like my
letter just got lost. Yeah, because I lost in the
middle of the owl, never visitedmy window.
Really like I'm like y'all got to go around the monopoly board
a couple of different times before I started going around
this board and I only have one dice while y'all rolling 2.

(33:27):
No, and I know that's like a completely different reality,
especially for a lot of first Gen. families, maybe that their
kids whenever 'cause that's whatyou don't want them to
experience that those experiencethat we had are being on being
so worried about being on survival that you do not have
the capacity to want to think about any type of further

(33:50):
education or you know, even likeobtaining a corporate job.
It's kind of like, well, literally whatever anyone can
offer, I'll take it like that. That's what it comes down to,
because you're limited to that. And we end up getting underpaid.
We end up taking jobs that overwork us and underserve us
and that are so bad for mental health.
We continue these cycles of toxicity because we have been

(34:13):
taught to believe anything is better than nothing.
Exactly right. You have to be grateful.
Like I didn't even fight my salary and all these like jobs
that I went into, you know, whenI found out that I can like
argue or negotiate my salary, I was 29 and I'm 32 and I say 29
because I just left my corporatejob and it wasn't until like the

(34:36):
very last boss. But she's so amazing.
I'm like, shout out to Naomi if she's watching this, but I love
her a real one. I love her so much because she
was like that, that boss that really was a boss like, but not
just the boss, but she was a leader like she was.
Gonna have one of those. She was gonna walk with you and
she's not just gonna look at youas you walk like that.
That to me is leadership. And she really like, was like,

(34:57):
Ruby, you, you should have negotiated your salary.
Like what do you mean you're getting paid this?
Yeah. And what do you mean you haven't
had a title change and you've been here for like 6 years?
Like, well, what is that? And I didn't even know like that
I had permission in a sense, right, to speak up and to
negotiate these things and talk about these things.
So it's like, it's just so real.And she was like, no, we're I'm

(35:20):
going to request a salary and a title change immediately.
And she may change. And she did give me the salary
and then she did give me the title change.
So yes, I walked out of corporate, but I walked out of
corporate with a bigger title. And that was, that's amazing.
Like for me, I was like, if there's anything that I'm going
to like leave in corporate, it'slike the title because I earned
that shit a long time ago. And it wasn't until a real one

(35:41):
came into my life that really told me like, you are, you are
this girl, you are this bitch. Like you, you deserve this and
more. And I didn't know that because
in our especially growing up in a Latino household, it's like,
well, you have enough me, huh? Like you made it beyond what all
of your deals and your cousins did.
So like, what do you, what else do you want?
Like, you know. You come home tired at the end
of the day. Well, at least you got a job.

(36:02):
Yeah, at least you got this muchsalary.
Look at me and what I'm doing over here.
Look at how hard I'm having to work at least.
Yeah, you might be dying, but you're dying for that much.
And it's like, bro, yeah, but I'm still fucking dying and.
It's all perspective. I think it's because, like,
unfortunately a lot of our family, because of that survival

(36:22):
mode or starting from the groundup or from nothing to, you know,
from zero to now. I think that it's, it's a
projection, right, Where they'respeaking to us, but they're
really speaking to themselves. Yeah.
And unfortunately, like, it's like, well, I didn't aspire to
do more, so you shouldn't aspireto do more.
But they're not going to say it that way.

(36:42):
But that's really what they mean.
That's perspective. Yeah.
I mean, it's this is this is fine.
This will get you by. You should be content and happy.
This is a blessing on its own. Why would you?
Why would you tarnish it? Why would you give it up?
Why would you just continue keepon?
And you're like, yeah, I can't keep on.
However, I'm going to end up dying at an early age because,

(37:03):
like, I can only keep on for so long.
Yeah, it's it's exhausting. Do you still keep in touch with
that boss? Yes.
She actually. Came.
Yeah. She came to our wedding in
February. It was so sweet.
Her and her boyfriend flew in from Chicago to be at our

(37:23):
wedding. And it meant so much to me
because again, it was the first time that I ever felt that there
was an actual manager that was qualified leader director, who
had not only the qualifications of like, again, her degree and
everything that she studied, youknow, by the book, whatever,
right? But then also like she humanized
the situation. Like our our department was

(37:43):
humanized finally, because we have leadership that she saw me
as a human and not as this like worker who's just going to come
into like, I'm a real ass personwith real ass feelings.
And I just felt seen finally after so many years.
And it sucks that it happened like towards the the end of it
because I still tell her now I'mlike, if we still been in

(38:04):
corporate ticket, we would have ran this department.
Yeah, we. Would have ran the world.
I literally tell her that. Like girl, I would have never.
Left. Yeah.
No, for real. I would have never.
Yeah, I know, right. I guess those are important too.
So that would be like a highlight of my experience.
But I'm like, I definitely went,I feel like I went through the

(38:26):
trenches because there's people in management people and what
quote UN quote leadership positions.
I should never be leaders. But back to what you were saying
about oh, because oh, my, my cousin or my uncle or they laid
out this internship for me. I did have a boss who was the,
you know, the director or the leader or whatever, simply
because he was a, a close relative to the CEO.

(38:50):
Yeah, that's, that's it. Like, that's it.
Like he doesn't, doesn't have a marketing degree.
Like I said, anything like this is insanity, guys.
Like, and this person was, although I, I will say that he
had good intentions here and there.
There was a lot of outbursts. There was a lot of tension.
There was a lot of uncomfortablemoments, part like part of me

(39:12):
working there. I do feel that I was hired
because of the way that I look, unfortunately.
And I mean, I don't, I'm like, Idon't know if I should even say
all this, but I, I truly feel it's so real.
He was, I, I was hired. He didn't review My Portfolio
even like there was another senior designer that was already
working there and he reviewed all the portfolios.

(39:33):
Oh, wow. So I got picked out because of
him, because of the senior graphic designer that was a
contractor. There at the company at the
time. And he had reviewed my work and
he really liked my work and he told the director or whatever
his name to that I was one that stood out.
And then based off of I, I do, Ido believe because of the way
that I looked, it's like it was more reason for me to get.

(39:55):
Yeah, that position, Yeah. Don't you love?
I'm just being objectified everywhere you go.
It's my favorite place. It's amazing.
It's amazing. Yeah, that was a huge part.
That's a small, a small site engine on them, the toxicity of
corporate America. But that is, I mean, and it is
very much true there. As a salesperson in business

(40:16):
development, I knew there's a certain amount of bullshit from
the men in the industry that I had to put up with because you
don't want to ruffle feathers. You need to be able to continue
working. You need to be able to continue
doing the sales. So there's a certain amount.
I mean, I literally had a guy. This man is easily in his, I

(40:36):
don't know, late 50s sixties. I I can't tell with white
people. They always look so much older
than they really are. And I'm so sorry, Except not
really moisturizer and SPF Korean, I beg up here, but it's
I mean, it's not yours fault. You know, we have a leg up, but
I get it. But anyway, so I had spent this

(41:00):
trip, this work trip in Galveston by the beach with this
one builder that I'm really close to.
She's a female. This one sales Rep from this
other company and this other dude from the sales company.
That one dude was like in his 60's.
The other one is, I don't know, in his 30s.
Whatever in the chick. OK, so this is the trip in

(41:22):
Galveston. We're by the beach.
It's nice outside. One of the days we went outside
in our swimsuits and I just got biddies.
So no matter what swimsuit I puton, the biddies are going to
biddy because they biddy like that's I, you know, it's
unfortunate for me. I hate it, love it for y'all,
hate it for me, but they're there.

(41:42):
So I just don't really concern myself with what type of
swimsuit I put on because I don't have anything that's
outrageous anyway. So I'm not really doing the
triangle nipple regardless. So like I'm chilling.
Yeah. So I just wore that in like a
high waisted like thing that waslike when it wasn't even like a
tanga, you know, like it was a high waisted one that was like,
I mean, it could have been a grandmother's underwear.

(42:03):
You know what I'm? Saying like.
OK, so we we were at the pool and all that stuff.
OK, whatever. Fast forward months later, I
walk into a meeting and in the lobby area is this 6 year old
sales Rep talking to a differentbuilder.
A man and I had walked in. It was a hot day outside and

(42:26):
because we're in the building construction industry in Fort
Worth, it's a bit more casual. You can wear more casual
clothing. I was in white shorts and a
tight, a tighter top that had short sleeves, but a tighter top
and with my company logos on them in the short, I mean, they
were like 4 inch, 4 inch inseam shorts, but I got legs.

(42:48):
So I mean my legs again, we're still legging because I can wear
whatever I want to wear. My legs are still gonna leg and
the biddies are gonna biddy because my body is my body and
that's the T So I walk in and this dude goes wow, Christine.
I mean, I thought I had seen it all when I'd seen you half

(43:08):
naked, but oh, this is just wow.And I fucking like short
circuited for a second because Iwas so not ready to be sexually
harassed in that moment. Like I was like, and I just kind

(43:28):
of like cocked my head to the side and I was like, excuse me?
And he goes, oh, well, you know,in Galveston up until this
point, this there was there was a day when this man had met my,
my husband and had been like, like an old uncle being like,
you know, if you heard her, like, we'll take care of it.

(43:50):
Like him and somebody else. Up until this point, I had seen
this man as an uncle that I respected, and it's so evidently
became clear that I had been a piece of meat that he had just
been staring at. Yeah, not once did that man
respect Mr. Human Being. He was just because, listen, one
thing is to appreciate a body. Because I get it, baby.

(44:11):
Like I'd be appreciating too, you know?
I get it. It happens.
Beauty is beauty. However, at the end of the day,
I remind myself of my motherfucking place.
And that's that all it is, is appreciation.
Because, you know, we're human beings, not full animals.
We've got cognitive thinking. Our feelings don't have to

(44:32):
dictate our actions. One thought doesn't have to lead
to another. You can, you know, think through
that. That's why we got, you know,
like. But no, this man had literally
just been objectifying me the entire time.
And I literally looked at creepyuncle.
Yeah, I I looked at him and I was like, oh, because I was

(44:55):
going to say there was no way you'd seen that.
And I turned around and left andI'm like, you just fucked any
chance I had of making business with that builder 1-2 Now any
conversation that that builder is in, I cannot be a part of the
way that he's gonna treat me is going to be picked up by the

(45:17):
other guys. Now they.
Think it's acceptable? Now they think it's acceptable.
Who knows if he's going to spread it around.
It's just I'm like in the drop of a hat just because of
something that I thought had been a really nice day with my
coworkers in Galveston. Yeah.

(45:39):
Like bro, so it's just, I'm like, there's so many.
I'm like you, you got to be careful.
I, I had to communicate in very specific ways because if I was
too direct with them like the other guys would be, then they'd
get their panties all up in a bunch and they'd be like, you
have to work with me, Christine,you have to work with me.
And I'm like, OK, then you work with me.
And they'd be like, I'm fucking wanna like, you know, like, and

(46:01):
I'm like, are you a 10 year old?Do I have to hold your fucking
hand and ask you do your job? Why can't I talk to you directly
like everybody else? Because I'm a woman.
Suck a Dick like, But that was always a gene.
I always had to be 10 times nicer.
And I got told this by my boss at some point.
She got frustrated with me. She was like, they're not going
to be receptive. You cannot talk to your
coworkers like that. And I'm like, then I need to

(46:23):
quit because I fucking refuse. I.
Refuse like, and that's why thatbehavior is so normalized in the
workplace, because there are no real consequences to this.
It's like you have to be a team player.
You have to just tolerate the bullshit.
It's just banter. It's just a banter.
It's just banter. OK, then let's talk it.
Just banter. Let's just banter about your

(46:44):
small Dick. Come on.
Come on, let's just banter aboutyour small.
What happens? It's like, oh, they're not a
team player or, you know, you. Can't take with the camera like
I'm thinking about with the. Camera, are you OK?
Yeah. Viewer, I'm checking the
audience. It's not.

(47:06):
With you, you guys. It's not with.
Well, based on those experiences, yeah, particularly
like the negative ones, how do you think that it had affected
you like yourself image or your confidence going forward,
especially at a young age, you know, starting corporate?

(47:28):
You know some. Young, like literally straight
you're. Formative.
Yeah, before your frontal lobe was developed.
So like before I even graduated college, like I was telling you
guys, I, I was in the corporate setting before that because I
was just so on top of trying to get on top of everything, right?
Like trying to excel and everything and having a

(47:50):
corporate experience before evengetting like my degree.
It was just wild to think about.And I was all like, I'm in this
amazing position, but at the same time, like, I don't want to
be here. Yeah, you know, like that.
That was just the reality of that was my reality.
And I felt that things like that, I feel like it was

(48:11):
normalized before I even got there because a lot of these
industries are very male dominated.
Like let's just be real, a lot of these positions like a man
has to open the door for a womanto even fall into a position or
a leadership position, corporateposition in general.
So and I I do think, I do think that even marketing is still

(48:34):
very male dominated. Yeah.
Just like your industry, like that industry is wild.
Like I know extremely. They didn't give me a position
and then hired a Todd to come domy job.
And then every marketing strategy the top presented, I'm
like, yeah, that's real cute. Here's why that didn't work
whenever I tried that two years ago.
Here's the paper and all of the work that I did for that.

(48:55):
OK well, then we should try this.
OK Yeah, I've thought about that, too.
Here's everything you need to get started on that.
What's next, genius? Yeah.
But it's still not I'm. So glad they hired you.
Yeah, I'm so glad they hired youto be safely.
What would we do without them? You know, but even just so
that's the leadership, right? That's the management director

(49:15):
position and stuff. But then, then the Co workers,
yeah. Girl.
Then the cohorts is good. There's some good peoples and
then there's just some some likenot so great peoples, right,
because you start to see your Coworkers more than your actual
family, more than your boyfriend, more than your
husband, more than like these Coworkers become like your
roommates. You know, especially if you're

(49:35):
like, if you're in a cubicle setting, you're gonna see them
on a daily basis and know about their life story, their
families, their everything. I started to feel uncomfortable.
Yeah. And this little, we didn't have
a cubicle setting. We just had a big conference
room looking, chatting with couple desks and everyone.
I was the only Latina in this marketing, this small marketing

(49:59):
department. And it was to Guerras and one of
the White House, I found out, it's all crazy.
I found out when she ended up leaving for some remote position
or whatever, right? This was actually right before
COVID, before they had even announced that, oh, you can work
from home. It's specifically in my industry
because marketing, you're on your computer, so they're like,
you can work from home. But before all that even

(50:19):
happened, we didn't even know itwas going to hit yet.
We didn't know about all that she had quit and I had found,
I'm not sure if someone else hadfound, but I was really cool
with maintenance. But that was my dude maintenance
and I got along really well. And he's like, you know, she has
a bunch of crap in her desk. If you want to take any of her
stuff, like go ahead and add it to your desk because she's not

(50:41):
going to use it. It's our stuff like she's not
taking it. And in the in the snooping
around in the you know your informada.
I went to go look at her desk and I found the journal.
What's in the journal? What's in the journal?
I'm like I. Know and then and this is like

(51:02):
so crazy because it's like this is so this is so like novella
vibes because think about it like what what this white girl
had this journal and what it's what's in it.
I started to read the journal and it was and journal entries
of the people that she worked with, including me, including me
and I. And I know, obviously I know it
was me because she wrote my namein there.

(51:24):
It was like almost like a mean girl's burn book.
That was gonna say OK Journal entries of what kind though?
Like she was like. Ruby is not working today.
She doesn't she seems distractedand it looks like she's just
working on other projects and not the our work projects.
And I, I remember that entry so,so clearly, which is why I'm

(51:47):
telling you guys because I was like, wow, she left behind her.
And I'm like, that's so intentional.
I felt like you wanted me to find this.
You really relied on on maintenance to go and throw
away. Maybe he read it and he wanted
me to see it, you know, because maybe he had read the entry.
Before yeah, maintenance is messy.
He's. Like, I'm just gonna leave this,

(52:08):
go ahead and look and steal or like any of her stuff, I mean.
He's like, I put in a drawer. No, no, no.
Let me just leave it on top. Watch him like take it before
she had a chance to collect it. Yeah, right.
Like who does that things? Like that right after, yeah,
he's like. I just, I just could not.
Like, she wasn't even a good copywriter.
So it's like, maybe you wouldn'teven belong here anyway.
All right? Like I'm over here.

(52:28):
You're reading her journal like my journal entries would be much
neater. Don't be like, don't be jealous
because I was over there building my business on the side
while working a corporate job. OK, That's really why I have
Ruby Creative now is because I was so heavily, yes, I was
working on another project. Why?
Because I had already finished my work.
I had already finished my projects.
Like, let's bring out the receipt because I was even

(52:50):
targeted there because they weretelling me, oh, Ruby, why are
you making so many Tik Toks during COVID?
Yeah, you're you're not working.And they brought it up to like
HR and they made it a whole drama about my TikTok.
I'm like, you guys are obviouslyfans.
You're watching. You're watching.
No, me and my husband got like at the time, my boyfriend, not

(53:11):
my husband. We're doing Tik Toks and a
couple of our videos went viral and I was like, we would have
been so like TikTok famous rightnow, but no, but corporate got
in the way. Corporate stopped me because
they were obviously watching. I'm like, I got my work done.
Is my is my boss complaining? As a matter of fact, I think I
just received the bonus. So what's going on?
Why are you so mad? And obviously you guys don't

(53:34):
know about scheduling content. I'm like I.
Scheduled all these TikTok postsso that they they can post
throughout the day so it could be consistent so my platform can
grow. I'm like, I live in the
marketing world. I'm in the right, I'm in the
marketing. Is there anything you should be
celebrating how good I am at what I'm doing?
Literally I can take you all there, but you don't let me
because like the little Mexican girl don't know what the fuck
she's doing. Team.

(53:57):
You know why? Drink, drink.
Drink. Drink, drink.
That's really I've been meaning to talk about this.
OK, no. What was this breaking point
though? Like what brought you to finally
say OK yeah enough is enough andI have got to branch out?
Yeah, so I think I I don't know if I mentioned earlier, but as
the the good girl, first Gen. perfect daughter in me was like

(54:19):
I was never going to leave corporate.
Even though I was building this beautiful business build with
such an amazing community, you know, with the Latino community,
I felt that I still had like I still owed like my family.
I still owed it and it and it was very like my family other.
People other, yeah. The people pleaser right in on
Yeah. And yeah, you know, because we

(54:42):
need to stay humble. We need to stay like, well,
let's not talk about our accomplishments or everything
that we like went through the trenches through because we we
no, no, no, it's not feminine enough.
That's not that's not very, you know, Latina.
And you suffer quiet, you know, yes, you suffer quietly.
You get through it. You do what you gotta do.

(55:02):
And that that was eating me likeit was eating me up because I
had been this perfect daughter like first and everything 1st to
go to college 1st to buy the first new car, everything 1st.
And it was just like, you know what?
I'm tired of being somebody, somebody take the baton.
Somebody. I don't think, I don't wanna do.

(55:24):
I just want to exist and be me and I, and I want that to be
enough, you know, and, and I don't want to have to give
anyone an explanation of why I move this way or why I'm
deciding not to have a relationship with a certain
family member. Like I just want to be able to
just exist and, and not have to give an explanation.
And that's a big part of also why I'm here in Texas and not in

(55:46):
Chicago where I'm from, is because I, I truly felt like
this was an opportunity for me to finally be selfish, finally
be so in tune with the life thatI want, that I, that I connect
with my community and my friends, become this family, my
chosen family that I've always wanted and a certainty.

(56:07):
And everything. I love that.
So I, I think that my, my breaking point, even though at
the very end when the company decided to sell off, I could
have had the opportunity to apply to another corporate job,
which was an idea that I talked about with my husband.
But at the end of the day, he was very big and, and motivating
me and telling me, hey, like, isthis really what you want?

(56:28):
I don't. You have always aspired to own
your own business, to be your own boss.
And you're already doing it. You're doing it while you're
running, while you're working a nine to five.
So this is what you want. So we're gonna we're gonna work
through it. And it was.
And it was hard and it was so. Hard.
It wasn't like. Yeah, my, my, like we just had
moved to Texas. We would have been like a year

(56:48):
and a half in. We've been here for like 3 years
and he's like, you know, my job is stable enough to sustain us,
but not like super crazy to sustain us in your business.
I know it's going to bring moneyand you're going to stay, you
know, stabilize yourself and build it.
And I believe in that. So because of that, I'm going to
figure out. So he got a second job.
Wow. And then he started working a
second job just to keep us stable, just so that we can pay

(57:10):
rent, so we can pay bills while I'm over here trying to get the
clientele, trying to refine my audience, trying to really build
this dream that I've always wanted.
And even though, like I said at the end of my corporate journey,
it was like a bittersweet situation, I'm so glad that it
was because I had that amazing balls that I told I'm telling
you guys about. And I told her like, I would

(57:31):
have never left because she's just so amazing.
And I do think that if I would have continued, I would have
continued for your leadership, yes, And I would have
appreciated that. And that's probably the only
reason I would have stayed. I really do think corporate it
makes a world of a fucking difference who you work under
and with. I was recently given an

(57:51):
opportunity to interview for ourposition in corporate again and
I had honestly already written off corporate because again, I'm
also in a similar position wheremy husband makes just enough to
where we're stable. Not crazy stable because we're
on a budget these days. It's a humbling one.
I'm like, oh, I'm back to my regular programming.

(58:12):
Got it. OK.
Like, you know, like, after all the years of living in poverty,
I'm like, now this, this, this, this, this is this is normal.
Yeah, I, I, I remember how to dothis.
It's fine. But I was given the opportunity
to go back to corporate again. And it was one of those things
where the only reason why I interviewed for the position is

(58:34):
because it's a job that my mentor will be leaving.
So she would be the one trainingme.
I would have a few months, a couple of months really before I
even fully started and then a couple months with her still
like under her guidance. I know the bosses, I'm really
cool with them and I respect them just enough, but we still

(58:58):
shoot the shit just enough to where it would be really fun.
I so I know what my days would be like.
I've already met the people in that office.
I know I vibe with everybody in that office.
So even the quiet engineers I vibe with.
So I'm not going to be the obnoxious loud Latina in the
office. There's already 2 in there.
They're quiet, but they like me,you know, like I'm just charming
enough to where they're like, OK, fine, you're going.

(59:20):
So like I, I was like, you know what, like this is some place
where I could see myself. Like if I have to take this
mental load, this is some place where I could do it.
It was also one of those those things where I, I priced my
mental health at an insane pricebecause we should and because I,
we have, we're at a point in ourcareers where we have the

(59:41):
experience to warrant us asking for the amount of money that we
deserve. So why the fuck would I not?
So I that out said the only thing that would make me go back
into the industry would be a sixfigure salary.
And one of the bosses said, I think you're worth 6 figures.
And I was like, where do I sign?Where do I, you know, you know,

(01:00:03):
like I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. Because I mean, that would allow
me to be able to hire somebody to edit the podcast episodes so
that this can, I can't take the right back.
Yeah. And that's the positive I feel
of the corporate world and that's what I feel.
That really helped me. Yeah, being incorporated that I
didn't just flat out jump into my business.

(01:00:23):
Yeah. It's like like super serious.
Yeah. I don't, I don't think that
it's, I think it's important to highlight that there's a lot of
content out there. There's a lot of tik toks and
reels that I have seen to it. They're just just jumping into
it like, and it's like not some I, I, I my friendships, at least
the circle or the community thatI surround myself with.

(01:00:45):
A lot of us are taking care of our parents.
Yeah, a lot of us have kids to look, you know, for their plan
for their future. A lot of us are.
A lot of people don't have a stable 401K or a Roth IRA or
even know what those terms mean.Yeah.
So it's like there are so many different factors like that.

(01:01:06):
They go all into it. It is not an easy thing.
Entrepreneurship. It's it they say it's like a
24/7. And my husband has been able to
help me reframe that thinking because he's like, I don't want
it to be your 24/7. I need it to be structured in a
way where you are able to breathe because yes, he's a huge
reminder of reminding me of my mental health, right.

(01:01:28):
And he's like, even though they say that there is, there is some
sort of balance that works for you and it's catered to you.
Yes. So I really, I, I'm a huge
believer of do not take this crazy plunge if the math is not
math, yes. You know, So I, I think that
having some sort of, of some sort of plan, talking with other

(01:01:50):
individuals, if you have a boyfriend, if you have a partner
or whatever that looks like for you to really talk this out of
what this looks like. And then to also really be so
like, whatever you're going to go into, you're going to pour
your heart and soul into it. Yeah.
Like, don't just go in it. I went when I went to design to
make money. Oh, that was one thing we did in

(01:02:11):
design school. We had a project where this one
guy in our group was like, the teacher was going around to why
you're picking this industry or why you want to be, you know, a
designer. And he's like, because I want to
be rich. I want to make a lot of money.
And I have no idea where he isn't like, because he ended up
blocking me. I think he was intimidated, but
it's OK. And what it is what it is.

(01:02:32):
So I feel that like I went, I straight up I was like, I'm in
this industry because this is what I truly love.
And I knew exactly what I wantedto become with with with.
What a blessing to know what youwant to become as an adult.
When I was 8 years old. Even though my dad was like not
as supportive and I say that in other like talks that I'm like
my dad was my first non supporter and he's like my

(01:02:55):
biggest hero. And that was heartbreaking.
But I pushed through that because I was like that.
But this is really what I want to do.
Like this is who I am and I can't change.
I don't want to change who I am because I am the best at being
me and I don't know how else to be something else.
Like this is literally how I'm talking to you guys is how I
even talked to some of my clients because like we've just

(01:03:16):
built that relationship because I'm like, I want to be this
welcoming, warm person that it was also like a fucking badass
of what I do. Like, I mean, business as well.
You know, not just because we'retalking like this doesn't mean
that I'm less educated. And what I do 100%, 100%, yeah,
I. Love that because I think when,
and it doesn't always work out that way because even for me,

(01:03:36):
whenever I took the plunge of going from working a nine to
five to working at the studio, like that was a big jump for me
because I for me, I was like, I'm following my dreams, I'm
dancing, I'm living because that's what I wanted to do
absolutely. And even though it was under,
like the studio's not under my name, you know, my balance, but

(01:03:58):
still, it was a dream of mine. And, and, you know, I did it.
I did it for a couple of years, unfortunately.
Like, yeah, being an artist, it's hard.
It's hard. It's hard.
So. And especially with the future
that I was looking at, like, OK,eventually, yes, I want a
family. I want something a little bit
more stable. You know, this might not be the

(01:04:20):
world that I should be in in order to make that happen.
So unfortunately I did had to kind of like check myself and be
like, all right, I do need to look for something a little bit
more stable. I need to look for something
that you know is a regular income that will support me and
then maybe later on. I can find the dream that you,

(01:04:41):
yeah, yes, yes. Where you don't have all this
anxiety and you're like, Oh my gosh, how am I going to keep
things stable? But then I also want to do what
I love. Exactly.
So that's kind of where I find myself is like, yeah, I'm still
working my 9:00 to 5:00. And technically, yes, it's it's
not a like corporate America job, but it's, I mean, it's
still, yeah, yeah. But I mean, along the way I have

(01:05:04):
learned not only just advancing my skills, but also learning to
value myself more. So asking for those raises
because, you know, I didn't, I wasn't told, hey, you should
negotiate. You know how much you're asking
for. I didn't learn those things from

(01:05:24):
anybody because nobody else in my family is really in corporate
America. Yeah, right.
Yeah. So it's like, no.
Reference point exactly. So being the eldest daughter,
I'm also the oldest and cousins like I'm the first generation of
grandchildren basically for grandmother.
So I had no stepping stone or guidance of where do I start,

(01:05:45):
where do I go? So it's literally like.
Just. I get thrown in the Ring of
Fire. Yeah.
And, you know, I've learned a little bit more confidence
around along the way and also byother people's stories, which is
why, you know, making the connections and friendships and
learning their point of views ofbeing in this world is

(01:06:06):
important. So, you know, like, I love that
you were able to fulfill that dream of Yeah and continue it.
And, you know, some of us were going back and forth like.
And I have, I have a friend right now, she was so scared of
how she was going to be seen of going back into corporate
America after being fully in entrepreneurship.

(01:06:27):
Yeah, there's also we don't talkabout that.
We are having a. Good.
We don't talk about that going back and the guilt that people
have because you feel. Like you're a failure, Yeah.
Like you failed your community in a sense.
And it's kind of like no, like that should not be seen that way
or you should not see yourself that way.
And anyone that is your true friend should not make you feel

(01:06:48):
any type of way in a negative context because you choose to
want to have stability for your family, for your first child,
for your, you know, and, and I've, I've been talking or I had
talked with her a lot and stuff and she's like, well, I feel
like I, I'm dabbling a little bit back and forth.
I'm like, girl, you're, you're our entrepreneur at heart.
That that's what we do. We try different things.

(01:07:10):
You're trying the whole stable 9to 5 corporates, whatever thing
that's, that's working for you. But then is that also giving you
peace? Is that giving you like so that
you can think further into this entrepreneur journey that you
want to maybe step back into again, maybe not fully, maybe
your thing is doing a couple things here and there, but then
also having your 9:00 to 5:00, but you're at peace.

(01:07:33):
I think it speaks to a bigger conversation of us aligning our
identity with our jobs. And, and it's one of those
things that because of the worldthat we live in, a lot of times
what our passion is is what becomes our job.
So we, we end up tying these things, but all the what you do,

(01:07:55):
what pays your bills doesn't have to be who you are.
You can be an entrepreneur, you can be an artist and you can
work in an office, but that doesn't, you do not have to
define yourself by these office settings.
You don't have to let the after you're working a corporate job.
Not now. You're just a corporate early.
Yeah, that's what you are. You're a corporate early because
you're back in court. What?

(01:08:16):
You're still an artist. Yeah.
Creative, you're still, you know, like you're just making
sure you can pay those bills. And that's so fucking this
economy, in this economy, Yeah, like, bro, like.
I have had something and I keep referring back to my husband
because that's the person I spend my most time with.
That makes sense. That checks out, yes.
And he really challenged me withsomething that hit me the core,

(01:08:39):
which I now carry in other conversations that I have with
other people in my community. Whereas like, who are you
without your titles? Yeah, who are you all these if
you strip the degrees, if you strip all, all, all of it.
Not not saying we're not acknowledging your
accomplishments and and all thiseffort that no, no, no, I'm
saying you as a person, I want to know who you are.

(01:09:01):
Yes, without your titles. And what how does that define
what you do like on a day-to-daybasis?
And if you I can't do that, I just don't think we could be
friends. Before leaving your corporate
job, what were some of those signs that you realized, you
know, oh, like this is now becoming a healthier workplace

(01:09:23):
for you to where you were able to grow and take some of that
stuff with you once you were able to leave.
But what were those healthy signs?
Those. I mean, as far as like for okay,
for coworkers out of the, my whole corporate experience, I
did leave with like a really some some friendships that I
formed within the corporate world are still like my friend

(01:09:46):
family today that I've known whohave even supported this
entrepreneur journey that I'm in.
And I've supported them and their family in different ways.
And I just feel that that's the beautiful commute, this
community that I've always trulywanted to build to begin with.
So that's goes beyond corporate.That really is just part of me.
Yeah, and who I am. And I just wanted to form my my

(01:10:08):
friend family and that's what that led to.
So that's the, you know, the Co worker side of it, of things
where they're always going to support wherever, you know,
wherever your journey leads into.
And then for leadership, when I did, I did openly talk about my
feelings about going back to corporate in this person.
She was so encouraging and she was so helpful.

(01:10:30):
She was actually even looking for different corporate
positions in my area. And.
She's in Chicago to help me establish myself or even
recommend to me and like a letter of recommendation and
things like that where she she just really truly wanted the
best for me in in the next phaseor in the next part of what my
life was going to look like. And then later on, I had a

(01:10:52):
conversation with her that I'm fully going to take on
entrepreneurship because she really was so fully committed to
helping me try to find like my next.
I think that is ultimately like,the best advice is find your
community. Yeah, like that's find the
people. Because there are a lot of
people who will not share information.
There's a lot of people who do not want.
Being I'm so anti-gay. And honestly, like, it's gonna

(01:11:15):
suck, but please do not let those people discourage you
because there's always gonna be people like you, like Ursula,
like who are want genuinely not because of how it's going to
benefit them, but because it just feels their soul to assist
others to to be there for you. Yeah.
Like the right people will root for you.
It's hard to find the right people.

(01:11:35):
Yeah. But but I promise it's worth the
effort. Like.
Yeah, it is. There is a light at the end of
the tunnel, even though the tunnel seems very lonely and
very dark at times. Yeah, especially in our in
community where the same the minority, but I don't believe in
that because we're the majority,let's say what it is.
And I feel that a lot of the times you get discouraged and
you feel like there's no one rooting for you.

(01:11:57):
But there there are organizations that are are have
a healthy environment. Oh my God, that's what I was
going to talk about briefly too,is I feel like corporate, it's
already so isolated on its own, and then with everything being
added with the new technologies,I feel like it just breeds more
isolation, which really just makes it so much harder to

(01:12:21):
continue. On like, every person by
themselves, yeah. Right.
I was talking to somebody recently who told me that they
asked AI to help them write an e-mail to their boss,
essentially being like, you werea Dick.
And that hurt my feelings. But like, in a professional way.
Corporate words. Yeah, but in corporate words.

(01:12:41):
And I was, like, fair and valid And, yeah, like, AI absolutely
told you what to say, and you'reso chill.
But you know what? AI can't tell you.
AI can't tell you what Melissa told me, which is fuck that guy.
You know, like, whenever I went to Melissa to have a talk about
my boss, she was venting to me about her bosses, and I was
venting to her, allegedly, and she was inventing me about hers.

(01:13:04):
And we were a bond over what washappening and how fucked it all
was. And then we were like, yeah,
man, fuck those people. So how do we say this nicely,
you know? And then, and then, yeah, we
brainstormed together. And you know what else we got
besides the right words? We got encouragement.
We got community. We got a laugh.
Like, we got to breathe for 30 fucking minutes.

(01:13:24):
Like even if it was just a quicklunch in between fucking
meetings, you know? Like there's so much, there's
already so much isolation in corporate.
Right. It's scary to try to trust
others and to lean on others, but I try to find your people
out there. Yeah, try because.
Literally out there. Yeah, I've been fortunate enough
to still be in touch with my dental friends from when I

(01:13:47):
worked at the dental. Office.
They're honestly like some of mybiggest supporters too because
they listen to the podcast. Yes, they do.
Hi, Savannah, I see you. No, but they're amazing and
thankfully, honestly, I don't think if it wasn't for our trip

(01:14:08):
that our bosses actually took us.
So that's another thing too, is putting what is the word I'm
looking for incentives like camaraderie.
Yeah, for people to actually be able to create community or to
connect. Beyond just the cubicle or the
office space. Beyond the pizza party, Yeah,

(01:14:28):
yeah. Oh my God, she's not even
getting into the. Pizza party situation, But you
know, we you do end up finding those people in that way, you
know, you get to meet them on a deeper level.
And honestly, since then, we've,I mean, I haven't been in the
dental field for over 10 years, but we're still, you know, we
still get together every Christmas for we call ourselves

(01:14:51):
the Bitches be Cray. And they do.
And they do. Be Cray not.
In that sense. But we get together every year
for a little Christmas party. Yeah, that's awesome.
So it is important to create that community, you know, trauma
bond. But but even if that's what it
is like, there's so much worth in exactly, you know, money

(01:15:14):
cannot pay for certain things and family and community is one
of those. Y'all, thank you for joining us
today and a huge thank you to you.
Yes, ma'am. Miss Ruby Gomez, Miss Miss G
Miss Ruby G, it's been a huge honor to have you here is a huge

(01:15:35):
honor to know you. We love.
Thank you. Thank you for agreeing to do
this with us. No.
Seriously, it's been really nicegetting to hear more about you
and getting to meet you this way.
And really, you know. I love this, I love this.
It's whatever not. Crying.
Yeah, yeah, and you know, and that's that.

(01:15:56):
OK, great. What are y'all's thoughts on
today's episode? Have you dealt with corporate
backstabbing? Share your thoughts or horror
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(01:16:16):
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(01:16:38):
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the Patreon. Patreon and all other handles
can be found in the episode descriptions.
Ruby, could you tell our listeners where they can connect

(01:17:00):
with you? Yes.
So I'm mainly on Instagram. It's Ruby creative.
But if you want to follow my personal story, Hola, Ruby
Gomez, AE and then lastly my website at rubycreativeco.com.
OK, we'll get in the notes. Yes.
All right, well, 30 flirty and trying is an individually

(01:17:22):
produced podcast. So if you love this episode,
please leave us a review. Your engagement means the world
to us and is it makes a huge difference for the success of
this show. Just remember to be kind because
we are sensi. We can't wait to connect.
With you see you next episode. I'm done.

(01:17:45):
Promise I'm not tearing up. It's my leg on yes.
I just have a tree in my eye.