June 10, 2025 • 31 mins
The statistics are staggering: one in four American children grow up without a father figure, leading to profound consequences in education, poverty rates, and even incarceration. But behind these numbers lies a deeper truth about God's design for fatherhood that our culture often overlooks or undermines.
In this Father's Day special, we unpack the biblical blueprint for fatherhood that stands in stark contrast to popular media portrayals of dads as incompetent bumblers. Drawing from scripture and practical experience, we explore how fathers are called to be spiritual leaders, loving providers, and models of Christ's love within their families. The impact of a present, engaged father reverberates through generations – not just in avoiding negative outcomes, but in actively nurturing children who thrive.
What does it mean to discipline with grace? How can fathers model humility and repentance? We discuss practical ways fathers can connect spiritually with their children through consistent, authentic moments – whether singing praise songs together, praying as a family, or simply showing up day after day. These seemingly small actions create the foundation upon which children build their understanding of both earthly and heavenly fatherhood.
For mothers listening, we offer encouragement on supporting and uplifting the fathers in your children's lives. And for those without fathers or whose fathers were absent, we acknowledge your experience while pointing to how our Heavenly Father can fill those gaps with His perfect love.
Whether you're a new dad, a seasoned father, or someone who influences children's lives, this episode offers both the encouragement and challenge to embrace the high calling of fatherhood. The good news? You don't have to be perfect – you simply need to be present, intentional, and faithful.
Listen now to discover why strong fathers create stronger families, and how you can make a difference that lasts for generations.
Let's connect!
Website: This Devoted Life
Instagram: Devoted Motherhood & This Devoted Life Podcast
Email: podcast@thisdevotedlife.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
What started as a Saturday morning coffee date
turned into a podcast where wechat about things like faith,
family finances and so much more.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
In a world that is encouraging you to live your
truth and to follow your heart.
We want to encourage you tolive devoted to the truth.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
The Bible has a lot to say about how to live a
victorious Christian life, andwe want to share practical
insight in how to apply thosetruths to your life, as we
endeavor to apply them to ourown lives as well.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
If you enjoy this podcast, please leave us a
review and share these episodeswith your friends so that you
can help them live this devotedlife too.
Welcome to another episode ofthis Devoted Life podcast.
Today we are giving a specialshout out to all the fathers out
there as we dive into the topicof fatherhood.
So happy Father's Day, babe.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, thank you Appreciate it, Looking forward
to it.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Yeah, we are really excited.
Today we're going to try todive into the topic of
fatherhood from a biblicalperspective and just what does
it mean to be a godly father.
We're going to look at the wayculture views fatherhood and
just the benefits of havingfathers in the lives of their
children, and the detrimentsthat can be when fathers are not
present as well.
So I know that many of you outthere, this may bring mixed
(01:18):
emotions for you, whether youhave a really wonderful father,
or maybe you are someone who hada father who was absent in your
life, or maybe your father haspassed away.
We want to acknowledge thatthere are many different
feelings that surround Father'sDay, and so we hope that this
episode is a blessing to you,whether or no, matter where
you're at when it comes to this.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah, yeah, and even maybe some widows that maybe
have lost their husband or youknow different situations.
Like we said, this should begood for really anyone in any
situation and also kind of justreally think we just assume that
it's women listening.
I think that's by far thebiggest audience out there, but
(02:11):
feel free to share it with yourhusbands, and maybe your fathers
as well, and just encouragethem to continue living a godly
life and be good leaders.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, I've actually received messages from different
women who said oh, I loved thisepisode, I shared it with my
husband.
We listened to it together.
So, hopefully this is one ofthose episodes where you sit
down together and you listen tothe episode, because we just
want it to be an encouragementto you that if you are doing
what is right to continue doingand being a good godly father,
or if there's some areas forgrowth, we hope that there is an
(02:44):
encouragement in that as well.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
All right, so we're going to kind of dive into the
topic of fatherhood, but we wantto start with, like, how does
culture view fatherhood?
Because I mean, if you look atjust the way that TV shows and
movies portray, fathers they'rekind of just the stupid man.
They're usually like thebuffoon, the woman is always
(03:13):
right and I feel like there'slike this, almost like men are
made to be a laughingstock,especially when it comes to dads
, yeah, I think we've touched onthis before, but it is very
frustrating that they are.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
They're kind of just the laughingstock of the family
or you know, just I don't know.
It gets really frustrating andI'll be honest, I mean we don't
really watch much you know TVwith commercials and stuff.
So you know, I can't imagineit's gotten any better since
what I remember.
But yeah, I mean, men should bemen and not that you have to
(03:43):
put on this persona or whatever.
But you know, god has called usto be leaders and called us to
try our best and work hard.
And you know, again, I don'twant to stereotype, but I think
you know our heart and theintent on what we're saying and
you know, if you are, you know,a wife out there, if you, you
(04:04):
know, if you find yourselfputting down your husband in
front of your friends or infront of your children or really
anyone, you know, really Iwould say, kind of check
yourself and try not to Try tobe an encouragement.
I mean, you might be puttingyour husband down to his face,
you know, and I know, um, youknow, or I?
(04:25):
I guess I should say I can'timagine how that would make me
feel if I'm just being berated,and that's not to say you know
we shouldn't get instructionfrom our wives.
I mean, I absolutely ask youall the time, you know, for your
advice, things like that, Umand so, and and I also ask you
if you see I'm failing in somearea or whatever.
(04:46):
Please, you know, but do ittactfully, do it in a
constructive way.
All those things, yeah, so notto get off on my soapbox there,
but yes, I think that all feedsinto each other with you know.
Just, I don't know like there,like you said, the perception
out there can be very negative.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, you know being on social media a lot more.
I see that in a lot of likeInstagram posts or just the
husband being put down and madeto look a little bit like he
like kind of like he's stupid.
I don't know any other way toput it, but we all are flawed,
and so I couldn't imagine if youwere to start putting me down
for my flaws, because we allhave things that we probably
(05:27):
could put each other down for?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Oh, absolutely, yeah, like I said, no one's perfect.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Exactly so.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
It's not like you're saying like, oh, you can't see
the negative things in yourspouse, but what we're saying is
is to call up the good thingsin your spouse and to encourage
them to continue to do thosethings, yeah, and if you want
your spouse to be better or dobetter or, you know, make
improvements, I don't think thebest way is to just cut them
down and be negative, right.
You know, I mean that would.
I don't think there's anybusiness books or self-help
(05:57):
books out there that wouldencourage you just to berate
someone in an attempt to makethem better Right.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, I mean, it does seem like today, in our culture
, men are, they're deemedunnecessary.
They're put down.
Our culture is trying to.
I almost want to, I don't evenalmost.
I am going to say that we aretrying to feminize men and we're
trying to make them be morelike a woman, and that's not the
biblical role of a man.
(06:24):
You have very distinct qualitiesthat you are called to do as a
man and we're going to dive intothose in this episode, and
those are good and godly thingsand they're not things that we
should be like.
Oh, it's toxic masculinity foryou to want to protect and to
love, but there's a godly way todo those things.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, yeah Again, there are definitely negatives
and people can take things toofar, but, like I said, I think
you know our heart and theintent behind our words.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
There's some really interesting statistics that I'm
going to read aboutfatherlessness, specifically in
the US.
One in four children in the USlive without a biological step
or adoptive father in the home.
That's over 18 million children, which is a staggering number
that reflects our nationalcrisis of father absence.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, yeah, and again , I, you know I, I will feel
terrible, you know, for anyonelistening to this if you, you
know again, are in thatsituation and you know whether
it was through anything you didor didn't do you know?
I mean, we're not judging orcriticizing, but we are calling
out the importance of a fatherand, you know, at least a male
(07:38):
role model in your children'slives.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
And before we go even further.
Just, we have a father, justknow that your heavenly father
(08:08):
can cover all of the absence ofthat, but there are some very
real effects of fatherlessnessfor children.
So, like James said, like, tryto find a male role model, you
know, just a man who you cantrust to, to disciple your, your
children.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, yeah.
And again, we don't want topile on, you know, with this,
with these statistics, but, um,you know, this is very serious.
I mean there's some, someweight here, and so it just
don't let it uh, you know, dragyou down, um, but let it
reinforce that.
Hey, this is important.
This is something I need to beintentional with.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I mean it says that children without fathers are two
times more likely to drop outof school.
It also says that fatherlesschildren are more likely to
suffer from anxiety anddepression four times more
likely to live in poverty andseven times more likely to
become pregnant as teenagers.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, I've actually heard that stat throughout the
years many times about the teenpregnancies and it's really.
Fascinating is the wrong word,but you know, I mean it's really
struck me every time I've heardit how that can be such a
differentiator.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Well, with three daughters, that's a staggering
weight.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
It is yeah year, so that we can just really instill
in them the importance of purityand just setting up themselves
for a wonderful life ahead.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah, yeah, the statistic that I actually found
that was kind of staggering tome was 85% of youth that are in
prison grew up in a fatherlesshome.
85%, so that's from the TexasDepartment of Corrections.
Wow, and that just goes to show, like how needed fathers are if
85% of the children who youknow are in prison right now, or
(10:14):
youth you know.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I mean, it is mind blowing, it really is.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yep.
And then also, identity is ahuge thing for children who
don't have fathers.
They have a weakened sense ofidentity, confidence and
boundaries.
Boys especially are more likelyto model destructive male
behavior without a positivefather figure in their life.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah, no, it's.
And even if the father is justabsent, you know, or you know
we're talking about.
You know so many differentscenarios here.
There's tons of variables.
But you know, if you are afather listening to this and you
have children, you know.
Again, let these statisticssink in and you might say, well,
(10:57):
yeah, my children have a father, but if you're not actually
fathering you can, you know yourchildren can lose their way as
well.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
So you can physically be a father, but you could be
emotionally unpresent.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Yeah, exactly and unattached, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I think the power of like knowing these statistics is
knowing what the antithesis isto it there's actually like a
positive side.
So, for the opposite of all ofthe negative things that we just
said, for those fathers who arepresent in their children's
life, it's just a hundredfoldbetter for them.
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Like literally, you know it's only 15% likely that
you know your children will endup in prison.
You know I mean, yeah, but putthe positive spin on all of it
and um and again it.
It's not like you have to be onpoint every minute of every day
you know what I mean.
Yes, Yep, show up, be present,be intentional and try, you know
(11:52):
?
I mean, I think you know we talkabout this a lot where we're
like are we failing in this areaor are we doing this, or you
know, right or wrong or whatever, and it's a challenge right to
know.
But you know, a lot of timesI'll say I think the fact that
we're literally talking aboutthis right now, you know we're
already in a good place.
We're trying to work on thatlast 20 percent, not the first
(12:15):
80.
And again, we're far fromperfect.
But you know, I think justhaving these conversations with
your spouse and trying that getsyou most of the way there.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean God's plan for fathers.
I mean it just shows with thosestatistics, just like, how good
his plan is.
You know, Micah 4, 6 says andhe shall turn the hearts of the,
or heart of the fathers to thechildren God has.
God wants the hearts of thefather to be turned towards
their children, because that ishis good design.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's really the thread
and foundation that you knowreally, cultures and countries
were built upon you know, andagain, with strong, good leaders
, and you know, male fatherfigures in particular that we're
talking about right now, man somuch can be accomplished.
It's really powerful that we'retalking about right now, man,
(13:08):
so much can be accomplished.
It's really powerful.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Yeah, let's look at like what is kind of a biblical
quote unquote blueprint forfatherhood.
I think the first and foremostis being a spiritual leader,
fathers are called to teachGod's word diligently.
You know, I think of the Shemaof Deuteronomy 6,.
You know, o Israel, the Lord,our God, the Lord is one.
You shall teach them diligentlyto your children you know, and
(13:32):
it's just, we have been calledas parents, but particularly
fathers, to disciple ourchildren.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, yeah, like in our situation, with you
homeschooling and being astay-at-home mom, you get a lot
more time with our children.
And I'm very thankful how mucheffort you put into their
spiritual lives as well.
My, you know the number ofminutes and hours of impact that
(14:01):
I have.
You know it pales in comparisonto what you have, but that
doesn't mean that I can just letyou take the reins in their
spiritual life, and in all areasreally.
So I can't.
I have to be a male figure anda spiritual leader in our home,
(14:22):
or else then they'll just say,you know, like, especially you
know, our sons will you knowthey might say, well, that's
just for mom, or that's just forwhatever, and or that must not
be important to dad, and um, youknow, really that's something
that I, you know, continue totry.
You know you, actually Iactually have to put more effort
(14:42):
into, um, you know, not moreeffort than you, but um, I can't
, just yes, I can't just assumethat you're checking that box.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
No, I appreciate like even tonight, before we came
down to record this podcast, youwere like, hey, kids, everyone
come to the living room.
You grabbed your guitar, you'relike we're going to sing some
praise songs and we're going topray together as a family and
that just was like anintentional time that you took
out of our day.
I mean, it was a matter of youknow, maybe 10 minutes total,
but it just shows that we taketime to stop and to praise the
(15:15):
Lord and to pray and to justspend some time as a family in
corporate worship.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yes, yeah, exactly yeah, it doesn't take hours.
You know, I mean no one really,I mean if it, if it, if it
needs to be hours, if yourfamily or your child is in a
state you know where you need tolike, all right, we need to
prioritize, then obviously do it.
But if you just, like you saidearlier, just be consistent,
show up.
That gets you most of the waythere.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yeah, the one thing I was actually thinking tonight
while we were singing was ourkids will remember these moments
, and it's not because you'relike, okay, every Thursday night
at this time we're going tosing and praise the Lord, but
you have been so consistent withit over the years.
I mean it might be a couple ofweeks between times of doing it
but to them they're still goingto have those memories of you
(16:02):
playing the guitar, us singingas a family and praising the
Lord together, and so that wasjust something that kind of
stuck out to me tonight was Ijust was thinking these moments
they don't have to be like um,where it has to be set in stone,
like at this time, every singletime, but it's just these
little drops of water thateventually build up into a
filling.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah, and I think um not that traditions are bad by
any stretch or anything likethat, but if it is just kind of.
I mean I don't know if organicis the right word, but just you
know, it's just, it's thisthread woven in our lives.
It just it's very sincere andreal and raw.
And yeah, like you said, they,yeah, they love it when I get my
(16:42):
guitar out and they go lookingfor the spoons or whatever and
they want to.
You know, keep beating.
We legit have like woodenspoons that would like kind of
like tap like yeah, so the kidsalways go and grab those.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
but they couldn't find it tonight, so they had
cups out and they were playinglike drums on the floor.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It was super cute Kind of dancing around and yeah,
these are special times, theyreally are.
I'm very thankful for them.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
So the next, you know biblical, I'm just going to
call it blueprint 1 Timothy 5, 8, but if any provide, not for
his own, he hath denied thefaith.
You know a dad, husband you aresupposed to be.
Whenever I hear the wordprovider, I think of the
physical provisions that youknow okay, earn the money, you
know, bring home the bread.
You know that type of thing.
You know that being with aprovider.
But I need to also be aspiritual provider and to once
again create that framework andthat foundation that hopefully
our children will carry on forthe rest of their lives and for
future generations to come.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It's not only like a physical stability, but it's an
emotional stability.
It's a spiritual stability,knowing that you are there
providing for those needs.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Ephesians 5.25 also calls you to be a loving husband
.
It says husbands love yourwives, even as Christ also loved
the church.
And we put that in therebecause the way that you treat
me shows our children how Godloves the church, like it's a
(18:28):
physical representation to themof our loving heavenly Father.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, yeah, and I mean obviously, anything that I
can do or we can do as fathers,you know, pales in comparison to
how Christ loved the church,but if that's something that we
aspire to, we're probably goingto be doing a pretty good job,
you know, and uh, yeah, so Imean, you know it's uh, I think,
(18:53):
as men, you know, we want tolove our wives and we want to,
you know, have that affectionthat you know.
Um, you know, I know it can becontroversial at times or
whatever, but Ephesians fivesays you know love, you know in
respect, and it that's what theBible says.
So we have to teach it andpreach it.
And yeah, so I want to be aloving husband and father.
(19:15):
Sometimes I am not as loving asothers, but, yeah, I think it's
just when you're all pulling inthe same direction and kind of
like going back to what we saidearlier.
You know, if your wife or you asa wife are, you know, being
respectful and wanting to be anencouragement, it definitely
(19:39):
makes it a lot easier to loveyou you know, and it's just a.
It's a great two-way street andyou know again, we're, if, if
you give a hundred percent, areeach giving a hundred percent,
then you know it really.
It's not just a 50-50 thing.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
I also think about all the times that I am
unlovable, you know there are somany times like, but the way
that you love me through,especially those circumstances
when I am being kind ofunlovable you know whether it's
just emotionally, or maybe I'mbeing kind of nasty you know.
I think that is even a morepowerful illustration of
(20:17):
Christ's love for us you knowthat he, even when we were kind
of unlovable, he still came tothis earth, died for us and
showed the ultimate sacrificiallove and laid down his life for
us, and so, as the husband, asthe father, you have this really
neat opportunity to showChrist's love um in the way that
(20:39):
you treat you know me and thechildren, yeah, and you know,
even to put some more teeth intoit.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
It's not only an opportunity, but it's a
responsibility you know so yeah,so we do have to rise to the
occasion, and it is anunconditional love you know, I
mean, it's like like you knowwhether either one of us are
being unlovable, you know, Imean it's my, you know, but yeah
, so that's that's where thegrace and the patience and all
(21:18):
the fruits of the spirit, youknow, come into play.
Right, it's?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
actually a really good segue into the next one,
which is being disciplining inor with grace, and because all
of those fruits of the spiritdefinitely have to you know feed
into that.
Proverbs 3, 12 says for whom theLord loveth, he correcteth,
even as a father correcteth hischild.
I probably didn't quote thatlast part of it Right, but it is
(21:42):
loving to correct your children, but there is a godly way of
doing it, because Ephesians 6, 4also says that fathers should
not provoke your children towrath.
And so you know, as a father,like it's your responsibility to
discipline, to disciple ourchildren.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Yes, yeah, it is, and you know it can be tough at
times.
I mean, and you know it's easyto be I'll call it lazy, you
know where you just want to bedismissive and just like I'll
deal with it later or I don'twant to deal with that or
whatever but it's like all thatdoes is it kind of reinforces
those bad behaviors in yourchildren or whatever the
(22:26):
scenario is.
So I encourage you to take thetime and take the effort, make
the effort to correct in loveand in righteousness, because
it'll make your future a loteasier and it'll make the future
of your children a lot better.
And again, there's a right andthe wrong way to do everything,
(22:55):
or maybe I should say a betteror worse, you know, um.
So I think, uh, you knowthere's definitely, um, you know
obviously, scenarios that wecan all think of in our mind.
that's definitely wrong or notthe right way to do things, but,
um, yeah, there might beseveral, uh, better ways, and
just you know, like I said, beintentional and pick one and do
it because it'll be better foryou and your children in the
(23:17):
long run.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Yeah, you mentioned the lazy parenting, but then
there's also the one the fatherthat is provoking his children
because there's the constantharping too, and so that's.
I mean we talk a lot aboutwisdom and asking God for wisdom
and really parenting.
I mean I mean that should bethe thing that just like throws
us on our knees and as we'rebegging God for wisdom because
(23:40):
there are so many differentsituations we can't speak into
all of them that the only thingthat we can suggest doing is
getting on your knees and justbegging God for wisdom in
whatever situation is going on,and taking our children to God
in prayer.
That's something that we've beentalking about a lot in Sunday
school lately is praying for ourchildren and that is part of
(24:01):
the discipleship of our childrenis praying for them and letting
them know that we're prayingfor them and being specific in
our prayers.
I remember reading a book byPastor Tice it was Raising God's
Kids in Sin City and he talkedabout how he prayed very
specifically for his childrenand then for his grandchildren
(24:21):
that they would come to know theLord as their Savior at a young
age.
And he was specific about thatyoung age and he said God has
answered that prayer for all ofmy children and, so far, his
grandchildren as well.
And I just remember thinkinglike I love that he is so
confident in just taking hischildren to the Lord and asking
specifically that they wouldknow the Lord at a young age,
(24:43):
that they wouldn't have to walkthis hard path because they
already were in the fold andknew the love of Christ.
And yeah, I just I think that'sneat.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Yeah, it is Yep.
I don't think I can add anymore to that.
That was good, all right.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
You also have an opportunity to be an example of
humility and repentance.
So, you know, we talked about,like, the harping on our
children, or I mean, we'vetalked about too, how none of us
are perfect.
And it's an opportunity, as afather, for you to show humility
and repentance.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Absolutely yeah.
And again, I think that's wheremaybe some of the true toxic
masculinity comes in.
You know, um, it is so likethere's so many phrases and
words that are, you know, forlack of a better phrase or word,
you know, bastardized nowadayswhere it's like, you know, I
mean you there truly is.
(25:39):
I mean we're just taken forgranted.
That you know.
Everyone obviously knows likenot to be abusive, right, you
know, and things like that,whether it's physical, verbal,
um, you know all the other typesthat are, you know kind of just
yeah, unimaginable, um, and soit's like obviously, don't you
know?
I think you know, like I saidthere, that there's certain
(26:01):
words that have gravity, thatare just kind of you know,
they're thrown around so muchnowadays that you know that kind
of loses their you know, I, Iguess the severity in my mind.
But yeah just, we have so manydifferent opportunities to do it
right and to do it wrong andyou know, I definitely think
(26:24):
that we need to, you know, makesure we're on the straight and
narrow and I think, you know,going back to that toxic
masculinity, you know we don'thave to be the tough guy or suck
it up, you know, and whatever,because then you actually can.
That can lead into more verbalabuse that you don't even
realize.
You know how your children aretaking it and there's also a
(26:48):
whole dynamic of knowing yourchildren right.
You know I mean because somechildren are really hardheaded
and you know children right.
You know I mean because somechildren are really hardheaded
and you know, tough, right, andyou do need to be, you know,
maybe more direct at times withthem, and then you might have
children that are sotenderhearted and so loving and
(27:08):
you know it's like you and itcan be misconstrued, as you as
well you're not being as tough.
Your children might thinkyou're not being as tough on
this person or that other, butit's more effective to be kinder
when you are disciplining someof your children, depending on
what their emotional state is orhow they respond to certain
(27:32):
things.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yeah, and definitely what we model is what they're
going to pick up Because.
I remember, for our son, I, youknow, would apologize to him if
I ever said anything or was tooharsh or whatever, and I always
struggled because he never saidI'm sorry back, you know, and it
always bothered me and I justwas like man, you know, I want
him to get this, you know.
And it always bothered me and Ijust was like man, you know, I
(27:53):
want him to get this, you know.
And then it was like two yearsago, um, we had had a moment,
and a few hours later I went tohim and just said you know what,
bud?
I said I just want you to knowlike I truly am sorry, and he
said, yeah, me too he said I'mreally sorry, and ever since
then he is now the one modelingthe.
I'm sorry as well, and it tookyears of me modeling that.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Consistently modeling .
Speaker 2 (28:17):
that you know so it's just, I think, the way that we
model, you know, repentance andhumility.
The kids eventually do pickthat up.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
They do.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Especially for the man because, like I think, like
for our son, like he looks toyou and he thinks you got to be
a big, strong daddy.
So when he hears you come withan.
I'm sorry, I think, for our son.
He looks to you and he thinksyou've got to be a big strong
daddy, so when he hears you,come with an I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
I think it holds even more weight than when I say it
and it teaches him that a realman admits when he is wrong and
humbles himself.
Yes, totally agree.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah, well, I guess we're going to kind of wrap it
up, but we just wanted this tobe an encouragement to you
fathers out there, that youdon't have to be perfect.
You're just called to befaithful, and these are some
areas that you can be faithfulin.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yes, yeah, just really encourage um the if, if
you do have a husband and youknow, or what, what that male,
um father figure is in yourchildren's lives, you know, be
an encouragement, um, you know,be a reminder to them you know,
um, in polite, fully andrespectfully.
(29:27):
You know, call, you know, givethem a call to action, because
if we need to be reminded to bethe man that we need to be as
fathers and as husbands, it'simportant, right?
You know we gave all.
You know not all, we gave someof the reasons why it is
important.
And so, you know, as a fatherand as a husband, I like to be
(29:48):
reminded and encouraged to youknow, stick with it and be
consistent, because sometimes,you know, you can get distracted
by things, right?
You know so, yeah, so hopefullythese were some good reminders,
thoughts, calls to action thatyou can, you know, really put in
that application quickly andsoon, and this Father's Day is a
(30:10):
good reminder to do it.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
I was going to end with a quote from Billy Graham.
It said A good father is one ofthe most unsung, unpraised,
unnoticed and yet one of themost valuable assets in our
society.
And I just love that, because Ireally do think that that sums
up you for our family.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
I know that we probably don't give you as many
accolades as you probably evendeserve, but just know that we
value you and we're verythankful for you this Father's
Day.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Thank you.
I appreciate that All right.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Well, happy Father's Day to all of you fathers out
there, and we hope that you justhave a special day and that you
realize that you are valued andthat the Lord has called you to
do wonderful things in thelives of those that he's given
you influence over.
So until next time, we want toencourage you to seek God, love
your spouse, hug your kids andstay devoted.
(30:59):
Thank you for tuning in to thisDevoted Life podcast with James
and Shanda.
We appreciate your support insharing biblical, uplifting
truths with the world.
If you found value in thisepisode, please leave us a
rating and review on yourfavorite podcast platform.
Your feedback helps us toimprove the show and we'd love
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Be sure to hit subscribe so younever miss an episode.
(31:21):
To learn more about how to livea life devoted to God and
family, head over tothisdevotedlifecom.
You can also follow me, shanda,on Instagram at devoted
underscore motherhood.
Thank you again for listeningand we look forward to seeing
(31:42):
you next time on this DevotedLife podcast.
What started as a Saturday morning coffee date
turned into a podcast where wechat about things like faith,
family finances and so much more.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
In a world that is encouraging you to live your
truth and to follow your heart.
We want to encourage you tolive devoted to the truth.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
The Bible has a lot to say about how to live a
victorious Christian life, andwe want to share practical
insight in how to apply thosetruths to your life, as we
endeavor to apply them to ourown lives as well.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
If you enjoy this podcast, please leave us a
review and share these episodeswith your friends so that you
can help them live this devotedlife too.
Welcome to another episode ofthis Devoted Life podcast.
Today we are giving a specialshout out to all the fathers out
there as we dive into the topicof fatherhood.
So happy Father's Day, babe.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, thank you Appreciate it, Looking forward
to it.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Yeah, we are really excited.
Today we're going to try todive into the topic of
fatherhood from a biblicalperspective and just what does
it mean to be a godly father.
We're going to look at the wayculture views fatherhood and
just the benefits of havingfathers in the lives of their
children, and the detrimentsthat can be when fathers are not
present as well.
So I know that many of you outthere, this may bring mixed
(01:18):
emotions for you, whether youhave a really wonderful father,
or maybe you are someone who hada father who was absent in your
life, or maybe your father haspassed away.
We want to acknowledge thatthere are many different
feelings that surround Father'sDay, and so we hope that this
episode is a blessing to you,whether or no, matter where
you're at when it comes to this.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah, yeah, and even maybe some widows that maybe
have lost their husband or youknow different situations.
Like we said, this should begood for really anyone in any
situation and also kind of justreally think we just assume that
it's women listening.
I think that's by far thebiggest audience out there, but
(02:11):
feel free to share it with yourhusbands, and maybe your fathers
as well, and just encouragethem to continue living a godly
life and be good leaders.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, I've actually received messages from different
women who said oh, I loved thisepisode, I shared it with my
husband.
We listened to it together.
So, hopefully this is one ofthose episodes where you sit
down together and you listen tothe episode, because we just
want it to be an encouragementto you that if you are doing
what is right to continue doingand being a good godly father,
or if there's some areas forgrowth, we hope that there is an
(02:44):
encouragement in that as well.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
All right, so we're going to kind of dive into the
topic of fatherhood, but we wantto start with, like, how does
culture view fatherhood?
Because I mean, if you look atjust the way that TV shows and
movies portray, fathers they'rekind of just the stupid man.
They're usually like thebuffoon, the woman is always
(03:13):
right and I feel like there'slike this, almost like men are
made to be a laughingstock,especially when it comes to dads
, yeah, I think we've touched onthis before, but it is very
frustrating that they are.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
They're kind of just the laughingstock of the family
or you know, just I don't know.
It gets really frustrating andI'll be honest, I mean we don't
really watch much you know TVwith commercials and stuff.
So you know, I can't imagineit's gotten any better since
what I remember.
But yeah, I mean, men should bemen and not that you have to
(03:43):
put on this persona or whatever.
But you know, god has called usto be leaders and called us to
try our best and work hard.
And you know, again, I don'twant to stereotype, but I think
you know our heart and theintent on what we're saying and
you know, if you are, you know,a wife out there, if you, you
(04:04):
know, if you find yourselfputting down your husband in
front of your friends or infront of your children or really
anyone, you know, really Iwould say, kind of check
yourself and try not to Try tobe an encouragement.
I mean, you might be puttingyour husband down to his face,
you know, and I know, um, youknow, or I?
(04:25):
I guess I should say I can'timagine how that would make me
feel if I'm just being berated,and that's not to say you know
we shouldn't get instructionfrom our wives.
I mean, I absolutely ask youall the time, you know, for your
advice, things like that, Umand so, and and I also ask you
if you see I'm failing in somearea or whatever.
(04:46):
Please, you know, but do ittactfully, do it in a
constructive way.
All those things, yeah, so notto get off on my soapbox there,
but yes, I think that all feedsinto each other with you know.
Just, I don't know like there,like you said, the perception
out there can be very negative.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, you know being on social media a lot more.
I see that in a lot of likeInstagram posts or just the
husband being put down and madeto look a little bit like he
like kind of like he's stupid.
I don't know any other way toput it, but we all are flawed,
and so I couldn't imagine if youwere to start putting me down
for my flaws, because we allhave things that we probably
(05:27):
could put each other down for?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Oh, absolutely, yeah, like I said, no one's perfect.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Exactly so.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
It's not like you're saying like, oh, you can't see
the negative things in yourspouse, but what we're saying is
is to call up the good thingsin your spouse and to encourage
them to continue to do thosethings, yeah, and if you want
your spouse to be better or dobetter or, you know, make
improvements, I don't think thebest way is to just cut them
down and be negative, right.
You know, I mean that would.
I don't think there's anybusiness books or self-help
(05:57):
books out there that wouldencourage you just to berate
someone in an attempt to makethem better Right.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, I mean, it does seem like today, in our culture
, men are, they're deemedunnecessary.
They're put down.
Our culture is trying to.
I almost want to, I don't evenalmost.
I am going to say that we aretrying to feminize men and we're
trying to make them be morelike a woman, and that's not the
biblical role of a man.
(06:24):
You have very distinct qualitiesthat you are called to do as a
man and we're going to dive intothose in this episode, and
those are good and godly thingsand they're not things that we
should be like.
Oh, it's toxic masculinity foryou to want to protect and to
love, but there's a godly way todo those things.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, yeah Again, there are definitely negatives
and people can take things toofar, but, like I said, I think
you know our heart and theintent behind our words.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
There's some really interesting statistics that I'm
going to read aboutfatherlessness, specifically in
the US.
One in four children in the USlive without a biological step
or adoptive father in the home.
That's over 18 million children, which is a staggering number
that reflects our nationalcrisis of father absence.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, yeah, and again , I, you know I, I will feel
terrible, you know, for anyonelistening to this if you, you
know again, are in thatsituation and you know whether
it was through anything you didor didn't do you know?
I mean, we're not judging orcriticizing, but we are calling
out the importance of a fatherand, you know, at least a male
(07:38):
role model in your children'slives.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
And before we go even further.
Just, we have a father, justknow that your heavenly father
(08:08):
can cover all of the absence ofthat, but there are some very
real effects of fatherlessnessfor children.
So, like James said, like, tryto find a male role model, you
know, just a man who you cantrust to, to disciple your, your
children.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, yeah.
And again, we don't want topile on, you know, with this,
with these statistics, but, um,you know, this is very serious.
I mean there's some, someweight here, and so it just
don't let it uh, you know, dragyou down, um, but let it
reinforce that.
Hey, this is important.
This is something I need to beintentional with.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I mean it says that children without fathers are two
times more likely to drop outof school.
It also says that fatherlesschildren are more likely to
suffer from anxiety anddepression four times more
likely to live in poverty andseven times more likely to
become pregnant as teenagers.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, I've actually heard that stat throughout the
years many times about the teenpregnancies and it's really.
Fascinating is the wrong word,but you know, I mean it's really
struck me every time I've heardit how that can be such a
differentiator.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Well, with three daughters, that's a staggering
weight.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
It is yeah year, so that we can just really instill
in them the importance of purityand just setting up themselves
for a wonderful life ahead.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah, yeah, the statistic that I actually found
that was kind of staggering tome was 85% of youth that are in
prison grew up in a fatherlesshome.
85%, so that's from the TexasDepartment of Corrections.
Wow, and that just goes to show, like how needed fathers are if
85% of the children who youknow are in prison right now, or
(10:14):
youth you know.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I mean, it is mind blowing, it really is.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yep.
And then also, identity is ahuge thing for children who
don't have fathers.
They have a weakened sense ofidentity, confidence and
boundaries.
Boys especially are more likelyto model destructive male
behavior without a positivefather figure in their life.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah, no, it's.
And even if the father is justabsent, you know, or you know
we're talking about.
You know so many differentscenarios here.
There's tons of variables.
But you know, if you are afather listening to this and you
have children, you know.
Again, let these statisticssink in and you might say, well,
(10:57):
yeah, my children have a father, but if you're not actually
fathering you can, you know yourchildren can lose their way as
well.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
So you can physically be a father, but you could be
emotionally unpresent.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Yeah, exactly and unattached, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I think the power of like knowing these statistics is
knowing what the antithesis isto it there's actually like a
positive side.
So, for the opposite of all ofthe negative things that we just
said, for those fathers who arepresent in their children's
life, it's just a hundredfoldbetter for them.
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Like literally, you know it's only 15% likely that
you know your children will endup in prison.
You know I mean, yeah, but putthe positive spin on all of it
and um and again it.
It's not like you have to be onpoint every minute of every day
you know what I mean.
Yes, Yep, show up, be present,be intentional and try, you know
(11:52):
?
I mean, I think you know we talkabout this a lot where we're
like are we failing in this areaor are we doing this, or you
know, right or wrong or whatever, and it's a challenge right to
know.
But you know, a lot of timesI'll say I think the fact that
we're literally talking aboutthis right now, you know we're
already in a good place.
We're trying to work on thatlast 20 percent, not the first
(12:15):
80.
And again, we're far fromperfect.
But you know, I think justhaving these conversations with
your spouse and trying that getsyou most of the way there.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean God's plan for fathers.
I mean it just shows with thosestatistics, just like, how good
his plan is.
You know, Micah 4, 6 says andhe shall turn the hearts of the,
or heart of the fathers to thechildren God has.
God wants the hearts of thefather to be turned towards
their children, because that ishis good design.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's really the thread
and foundation that you knowreally, cultures and countries
were built upon you know, andagain, with strong, good leaders
, and you know, male fatherfigures in particular that we're
talking about right now, man somuch can be accomplished.
It's really powerful that we'retalking about right now, man,
(13:08):
so much can be accomplished.
It's really powerful.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Yeah, let's look at like what is kind of a biblical
quote unquote blueprint forfatherhood.
I think the first and foremostis being a spiritual leader,
fathers are called to teachGod's word diligently.
You know, I think of the Shemaof Deuteronomy 6,.
You know, o Israel, the Lord,our God, the Lord is one.
You shall teach them diligentlyto your children you know, and
(13:32):
it's just, we have been calledas parents, but particularly
fathers, to disciple ourchildren.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, yeah, like in our situation, with you
homeschooling and being astay-at-home mom, you get a lot
more time with our children.
And I'm very thankful how mucheffort you put into their
spiritual lives as well.
My, you know the number ofminutes and hours of impact that
(14:01):
I have.
You know it pales in comparisonto what you have, but that
doesn't mean that I can just letyou take the reins in their
spiritual life, and in all areasreally.
So I can't.
I have to be a male figure anda spiritual leader in our home,
(14:22):
or else then they'll just say,you know, like, especially you
know, our sons will you knowthey might say, well, that's
just for mom, or that's just forwhatever, and or that must not
be important to dad, and um, youknow, really that's something
that I, you know, continue totry.
You know you, actually Iactually have to put more effort
(14:42):
into, um, you know, not moreeffort than you, but um, I can't
, just yes, I can't just assumethat you're checking that box.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
No, I appreciate like even tonight, before we came
down to record this podcast, youwere like, hey, kids, everyone
come to the living room.
You grabbed your guitar, you'relike we're going to sing some
praise songs and we're going topray together as a family and
that just was like anintentional time that you took
out of our day.
I mean, it was a matter of youknow, maybe 10 minutes total,
but it just shows that we taketime to stop and to praise the
(15:15):
Lord and to pray and to justspend some time as a family in
corporate worship.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yes, yeah, exactly yeah, it doesn't take hours.
You know, I mean no one really,I mean if it, if it, if it
needs to be hours, if yourfamily or your child is in a
state you know where you need tolike, all right, we need to
prioritize, then obviously do it.
But if you just, like you saidearlier, just be consistent,
show up.
That gets you most of the waythere.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yeah, the one thing I was actually thinking tonight
while we were singing was ourkids will remember these moments
, and it's not because you'relike, okay, every Thursday night
at this time we're going tosing and praise the Lord, but
you have been so consistent withit over the years.
I mean it might be a couple ofweeks between times of doing it
but to them they're still goingto have those memories of you
(16:02):
playing the guitar, us singingas a family and praising the
Lord together, and so that wasjust something that kind of
stuck out to me tonight was Ijust was thinking these moments
they don't have to be like um,where it has to be set in stone,
like at this time, every singletime, but it's just these
little drops of water thateventually build up into a
filling.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah, and I think um not that traditions are bad by
any stretch or anything likethat, but if it is just kind of.
I mean I don't know if organicis the right word, but just you
know, it's just, it's thisthread woven in our lives.
It just it's very sincere andreal and raw.
And yeah, like you said, they,yeah, they love it when I get my
(16:42):
guitar out and they go lookingfor the spoons or whatever and
they want to.
You know, keep beating.
We legit have like woodenspoons that would like kind of
like tap like yeah, so the kidsalways go and grab those.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
but they couldn't find it tonight, so they had
cups out and they were playinglike drums on the floor.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It was super cute Kind of dancing around and yeah,
these are special times, theyreally are.
I'm very thankful for them.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
So the next, you know biblical, I'm just going to
call it blueprint 1 Timothy 5, 8, but if any provide, not for
his own, he hath denied thefaith.
You know a dad, husband you aresupposed to be.
Whenever I hear the wordprovider, I think of the
physical provisions that youknow okay, earn the money, you
know, bring home the bread.
You know that type of thing.
You know that being with aprovider.
But I need to also be aspiritual provider and to once
again create that framework andthat foundation that hopefully
our children will carry on forthe rest of their lives and for
future generations to come.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It's not only like a physical stability, but it's an
emotional stability.
It's a spiritual stability,knowing that you are there
providing for those needs.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Ephesians 5.25 also calls you to be a loving husband
.
It says husbands love yourwives, even as Christ also loved
the church.
And we put that in therebecause the way that you treat
me shows our children how Godloves the church, like it's a
(18:28):
physical representation to themof our loving heavenly Father.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, yeah, and I mean obviously, anything that I
can do or we can do as fathers,you know, pales in comparison to
how Christ loved the church,but if that's something that we
aspire to, we're probably goingto be doing a pretty good job,
you know, and uh, yeah, so Imean, you know it's uh, I think,
(18:53):
as men, you know, we want tolove our wives and we want to,
you know, have that affectionthat you know.
Um, you know, I know it can becontroversial at times or
whatever, but Ephesians fivesays you know love, you know in
respect, and it that's what theBible says.
So we have to teach it andpreach it.
And yeah, so I want to be aloving husband and father.
(19:15):
Sometimes I am not as loving asothers, but, yeah, I think it's
just when you're all pulling inthe same direction and kind of
like going back to what we saidearlier.
You know, if your wife or you asa wife are, you know, being
respectful and wanting to be anencouragement, it definitely
(19:39):
makes it a lot easier to loveyou you know, and it's just a.
It's a great two-way street andyou know again, we're, if, if
you give a hundred percent, areeach giving a hundred percent,
then you know it really.
It's not just a 50-50 thing.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
I also think about all the times that I am
unlovable, you know there are somany times like, but the way
that you love me through,especially those circumstances
when I am being kind ofunlovable you know whether it's
just emotionally, or maybe I'mbeing kind of nasty you know.
I think that is even a morepowerful illustration of
(20:17):
Christ's love for us you knowthat he, even when we were kind
of unlovable, he still came tothis earth, died for us and
showed the ultimate sacrificiallove and laid down his life for
us, and so, as the husband, asthe father, you have this really
neat opportunity to showChrist's love um in the way that
(20:39):
you treat you know me and thechildren, yeah, and you know,
even to put some more teeth intoit.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
It's not only an opportunity, but it's a
responsibility you know so yeah,so we do have to rise to the
occasion, and it is anunconditional love you know, I
mean, it's like like you knowwhether either one of us are
being unlovable, you know, Imean it's my, you know, but yeah
, so that's that's where thegrace and the patience and all
(21:18):
the fruits of the spirit, youknow, come into play.
Right, it's?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
actually a really good segue into the next one,
which is being disciplining inor with grace, and because all
of those fruits of the spiritdefinitely have to you know feed
into that.
Proverbs 3, 12 says for whom theLord loveth, he correcteth,
even as a father correcteth hischild.
I probably didn't quote thatlast part of it Right, but it is
(21:42):
loving to correct your children, but there is a godly way of
doing it, because Ephesians 6, 4also says that fathers should
not provoke your children towrath.
And so you know, as a father,like it's your responsibility to
discipline, to disciple ourchildren.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Yes, yeah, it is, and you know it can be tough at
times.
I mean, and you know it's easyto be I'll call it lazy, you
know where you just want to bedismissive and just like I'll
deal with it later or I don'twant to deal with that or
whatever but it's like all thatdoes is it kind of reinforces
those bad behaviors in yourchildren or whatever the
(22:26):
scenario is.
So I encourage you to take thetime and take the effort, make
the effort to correct in loveand in righteousness, because
it'll make your future a loteasier and it'll make the future
of your children a lot better.
And again, there's a right andthe wrong way to do everything,
(22:55):
or maybe I should say a betteror worse, you know, um.
So I think, uh, you knowthere's definitely, um, you know
obviously, scenarios that wecan all think of in our mind.
that's definitely wrong or notthe right way to do things, but,
um, yeah, there might beseveral, uh, better ways, and
just you know, like I said, beintentional and pick one and do
it because it'll be better foryou and your children in the
(23:17):
long run.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Yeah, you mentioned the lazy parenting, but then
there's also the one the fatherthat is provoking his children
because there's the constantharping too, and so that's.
I mean we talk a lot aboutwisdom and asking God for wisdom
and really parenting.
I mean I mean that should bethe thing that just like throws
us on our knees and as we'rebegging God for wisdom because
(23:40):
there are so many differentsituations we can't speak into
all of them that the only thingthat we can suggest doing is
getting on your knees and justbegging God for wisdom in
whatever situation is going on,and taking our children to God
in prayer.
That's something that we've beentalking about a lot in Sunday
school lately is praying for ourchildren and that is part of
(24:01):
the discipleship of our childrenis praying for them and letting
them know that we're prayingfor them and being specific in
our prayers.
I remember reading a book byPastor Tice it was Raising God's
Kids in Sin City and he talkedabout how he prayed very
specifically for his childrenand then for his grandchildren
(24:21):
that they would come to know theLord as their Savior at a young
age.
And he was specific about thatyoung age and he said God has
answered that prayer for all ofmy children and, so far, his
grandchildren as well.
And I just remember thinkinglike I love that he is so
confident in just taking hischildren to the Lord and asking
specifically that they wouldknow the Lord at a young age,
(24:43):
that they wouldn't have to walkthis hard path because they
already were in the fold andknew the love of Christ.
And yeah, I just I think that'sneat.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Yeah, it is Yep.
I don't think I can add anymore to that.
That was good, all right.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
You also have an opportunity to be an example of
humility and repentance.
So, you know, we talked about,like, the harping on our
children, or I mean, we'vetalked about too, how none of us
are perfect.
And it's an opportunity, as afather, for you to show humility
and repentance.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Absolutely yeah.
And again, I think that's wheremaybe some of the true toxic
masculinity comes in.
You know, um, it is so likethere's so many phrases and
words that are, you know, forlack of a better phrase or word,
you know, bastardized nowadayswhere it's like, you know, I
mean you there truly is.
(25:39):
I mean we're just taken forgranted.
That you know.
Everyone obviously knows likenot to be abusive, right, you
know, and things like that,whether it's physical, verbal,
um, you know all the other typesthat are, you know kind of just
yeah, unimaginable, um, and soit's like obviously, don't you
know?
I think you know, like I saidthere, that there's certain
(26:01):
words that have gravity, thatare just kind of you know,
they're thrown around so muchnowadays that you know that kind
of loses their you know, I, Iguess the severity in my mind.
But yeah just, we have so manydifferent opportunities to do it
right and to do it wrong andyou know, I definitely think
(26:24):
that we need to, you know, makesure we're on the straight and
narrow and I think, you know,going back to that toxic
masculinity, you know we don'thave to be the tough guy or suck
it up, you know, and whatever,because then you actually can.
That can lead into more verbalabuse that you don't even
realize.
You know how your children aretaking it and there's also a
(26:48):
whole dynamic of knowing yourchildren right.
You know I mean because somechildren are really hardheaded
and you know children right.
You know I mean because somechildren are really hardheaded
and you know, tough, right, andyou do need to be, you know,
maybe more direct at times withthem, and then you might have
children that are sotenderhearted and so loving and
(27:08):
you know it's like you and itcan be misconstrued, as you as
well you're not being as tough.
Your children might thinkyou're not being as tough on
this person or that other, butit's more effective to be kinder
when you are disciplining someof your children, depending on
what their emotional state is orhow they respond to certain
(27:32):
things.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yeah, and definitely what we model is what they're
going to pick up Because.
I remember, for our son, I, youknow, would apologize to him if
I ever said anything or was tooharsh or whatever, and I always
struggled because he never saidI'm sorry back, you know, and it
always bothered me and I justwas like man, you know, I want
him to get this, you know.
And it always bothered me and Ijust was like man, you know, I
(27:53):
want him to get this, you know.
And then it was like two yearsago, um, we had had a moment,
and a few hours later I went tohim and just said you know what,
bud?
I said I just want you to knowlike I truly am sorry, and he
said, yeah, me too he said I'mreally sorry, and ever since
then he is now the one modelingthe.
I'm sorry as well, and it tookyears of me modeling that.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Consistently modeling .
Speaker 2 (28:17):
that you know so it's just, I think, the way that we
model, you know, repentance andhumility.
The kids eventually do pickthat up.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
They do.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Especially for the man because, like I think, like
for our son, like he looks toyou and he thinks you got to be
a big, strong daddy.
So when he hears you come withan.
I'm sorry, I think, for our son.
He looks to you and he thinksyou've got to be a big strong
daddy, so when he hears you,come with an I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
I think it holds even more weight than when I say it
and it teaches him that a realman admits when he is wrong and
humbles himself.
Yes, totally agree.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah, well, I guess we're going to kind of wrap it
up, but we just wanted this tobe an encouragement to you
fathers out there, that youdon't have to be perfect.
You're just called to befaithful, and these are some
areas that you can be faithfulin.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yes, yeah, just really encourage um the if, if
you do have a husband and youknow, or what, what that male,
um father figure is in yourchildren's lives, you know, be
an encouragement, um, you know,be a reminder to them you know,
um, in polite, fully andrespectfully.
(29:27):
You know, call, you know, givethem a call to action, because
if we need to be reminded to bethe man that we need to be as
fathers and as husbands, it'simportant, right?
You know we gave all.
You know not all, we gave someof the reasons why it is
important.
And so, you know, as a fatherand as a husband, I like to be
(29:48):
reminded and encouraged to youknow, stick with it and be
consistent, because sometimes,you know, you can get distracted
by things, right?
You know so, yeah, so hopefullythese were some good reminders,
thoughts, calls to action thatyou can, you know, really put in
that application quickly andsoon, and this Father's Day is a
(30:10):
good reminder to do it.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
I was going to end with a quote from Billy Graham.
It said A good father is one ofthe most unsung, unpraised,
unnoticed and yet one of themost valuable assets in our
society.
And I just love that, because Ireally do think that that sums
up you for our family.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
I know that we probably don't give you as many
accolades as you probably evendeserve, but just know that we
value you and we're verythankful for you this Father's
Day.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Thank you.
I appreciate that All right.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Well, happy Father's Day to all of you fathers out
there, and we hope that you justhave a special day and that you
realize that you are valued andthat the Lord has called you to
do wonderful things in thelives of those that he's given
you influence over.
So until next time, we want toencourage you to seek God, love
your spouse, hug your kids andstay devoted.
(30:59):
Thank you for tuning in to thisDevoted Life podcast with James
and Shanda.
We appreciate your support insharing biblical, uplifting
truths with the world.
If you found value in thisepisode, please leave us a
rating and review on yourfavorite podcast platform.
Your feedback helps us toimprove the show and we'd love
to hear from you.
Be sure to hit subscribe so younever miss an episode.
(31:21):
To learn more about how to livea life devoted to God and
family, head over tothisdevotedlifecom.
You can also follow me, shanda,on Instagram at devoted
underscore motherhood.
Thank you again for listeningand we look forward to seeing
(31:42):
you next time on this DevotedLife podcast.
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