May 24, 2025 • 21 mins
What if your most profound life lessons could come from an unexpected journey? In this inspiring episode, I explore how my recent walk along the Camino de Santiago in Spain became a powerful metaphor for navigating the empty nest years—filled with surprises, deep connections, and personal growth.
Walking the Portuguese route with strangers from around the world pushed me beyond my comfort zone, revealing that the richest experiences often come from embracing detours rather than rushing to the finish line. When faced with a challenging climb, a simple question from a friend—"What’s the rush?"—became a guiding wisdom for embracing the present moment.
The true magic of the Camino was found in the connections formed along the way. Brief conversations with fellow pilgrims sparked feelings of transformation, and our nightly ritual of sharing a "crumb" (challenge) and "cookie" (joy) strengthened resilience and gratitude—key components proven to boost mental well-being during major transitions.
Through rain and sunshine, I discovered that each traveler brought unique "superpowers," from authenticity to embracing new experiences, inspiring me to pursue my dreams while savoring life's small moments. This journey taught me that necessary endings—like children leaving home or finishing a long walk—create space for new beginnings.
What’s your Camino? Whether it’s a new hobby, career change, or inner exploration, your next big adventure awaits. Take that first step—your most meaningful journey might be just around the corner.
When you're ready to craft a fulfilling new chapter, visit thisemptynestlife.com to learn how I can support you in designing a life full of purpose and joy.
Highlights & Key Takeaways:
- Embrace detours over rushing — slowing down creates space for growth.
- Deepen connections through shared vulnerability and gratitude practices.
- Recognize the unique strengths ("superpowers") each person brings to your journey.
- Mindfulness in everyday moments fuels profound self-discovery.
- Necessary endings open doors for exciting new beginnings.
Join me on this journey of self-discovery, and maybe find your own Camino to fulfillment.
FREE WORKBOOK
3 Steps to Loving Your Empty Nest Life
ENJOY THE SHOW?
Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or follow on Spotify and many more.
LOVE THE SHOW?
Get your THIS EMPTY NEST LIFE swag
Review us on Love the Podcast, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify -- reviews and ratings help others find us and we’d appreciate your support greatly.
CONNECT WITH JAY
Email, LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's necessary for us to let go and move on, to make
space in our lives for the nextgreat adventure.
The end of our journey was anecessary ending.
Necessary endings happen allthe time in our lives and while
we wanted to continue to go andcontinue to capture the magic of
the Camino and the magic ofSpain, it was a necessary ending
so that we could continue tomove forward with our lives.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome to this Empty Nest Life.
Join Jay Ramston as he leadsyou on a transformative journey
through the uncharted seas ofmidlife and empty nesting.
If you're ready to embark onthis new adventure and redefine
your future, you're in the rightplace.
Here's your host, the EmptyNest Coach, Jay Ramston.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hello, my Empty Nest friends, and welcome back to
this emptiness life For today.
Well, today I'm going solo andmoving forward.
You can expect some soloepisodes as well as some more
guests.
I've got big plans for the show, so make sure you stay tuned.
Returned from a recentadventure that taught me a ton
(01:04):
about myself, about connectingwith other people and embracing
the journey that we're on.
So last week I embarked on ajourney to walk the Camino de
Santiago, or, more accurately, aportion of it.
Specifically, I walked aportion of the Camino Portugues.
It's a pilgrimage across thenorthwest part of Spain, which
(01:26):
is known as Galicia.
Now, some people well, theywalk the Camino for religious
reasons, some for spiritualreasons, some they just see if
they can do it right, walk dayafter day after day.
For me it was partly spiritualand partly to see if I could
walk for several days straightfor roughly about 12 miles a day
(01:49):
, give or take.
But mostly for me it was aboutstepping outside my comfort zone
, and if you're a regularlistener to this show, you know
stepping outside your comfortzone is something I talk about a
lot.
But I wanted to see what Icould learn about myself on this
journey and also what I couldlearn about others.
So on this journey I waswalking with friends, and I say
(02:12):
sort of friends.
I've known these folks forabout 18 months.
I met them as part of a hikinggroup that I belong to.
So I literally left Boston withfive people I've known for a
short amount of time and thenactually one person that I
really didn't get to know untilI got to the departure gate.
Let me tell you somethingTravel, especially challenging
(02:34):
travel like heading to a foreigncountry where no one but myself
spoke the language.
That is a fast trip to gettingto know people pretty well.
So I just want to share alittle bit of that journey here
today in snippets.
So I took some time to journala little bit while I was on this
journey.
So here's a little bit from dayone.
(02:55):
It was five days in total, soyou get a little bit of snippets
and things that I've learnedalong the way and then some
grounding, some of it inpsychology that'll help you kind
of as you're on your journey aswell.
So from day one a littlesnippet.
Day one was a complete whirlwind.
Traveling to a differentcountry you leave.
We left Boston around 4.30.
(03:17):
We got in to Madrid around 5.30in the morning.
The next day we had to make ourway to our next gate to go from
Madrid to Vigo, which is wherewe are starting our journey, and
it was this kind of we getthere, we get settled, we drop
our bags, we explore Vigo forthe day.
It is go, go, go, go, go.
We come back to the hotel, weget an opportunity to rest a
(03:40):
little bit.
I took a chance to take alittle bit of a nap before we
were going to go out to dinnerthat night.
But what I found about the verynext day, day one of our
journey, which was the 10th ofMay breakfast at the hotel
didn't start until 8 am, whichwas an amazing thing, because
sleep was so desperately neededfrom the long day of travel
(04:01):
before and exploring the city ofVigo.
Even simple things likebreakfast on this trip were an
experience.
You met people from all overthe world, whether it was at
breakfast in the morning or atcafes or as you were walking,
but places like Canada andGermany and Alaska and
Connecticut those are just acouple of examples and everyone
(04:22):
on this journey had a story.
Everyone had their own reasonfor doing this and, as you get
used to being on the Camino andspending some time traveling and
moving forward each day andmeeting lots of different people
, your experience becomes kindof the experience of others.
(04:43):
So this is what psychologistscall social comparison.
When we're in new situationslike this, we naturally look to
others to gauge our ownexperiences and feelings.
So, for example, the firstthree days it rained for most of
our journey, off and on for twodays and then pretty straight
on the third day.
And so naturally, as humans, welook to others to develop kind
(05:05):
of our own experiences andfeelings, and sometimes we take
on the experiences of others.
So if we're struggling, thenpeople might also feel as if
they were struggling too.
However, here's the cool thingright Meeting people from
different backgrounds.
They bring differentexperiences to it.
So whether we're on the Caminoor elsewhere in life, you can
(05:27):
really broaden your perspectivesand challenge our assumptions
about ourselves and the world bytaking time to learn from
others.
So my big lesson from that firstday was slowing down, and
here's why we were headed.
I don't know we were maybehalfway through day one and we
were headed down a path and thenthere was a little path that
(05:48):
went up pretty vertical, up onthe mountain on the backside of
us and it said three and a halfkilometers up to a cafe.
And this is what I wrote in myjournal.
As we approached, a man wascoming down the hill and he said
hey, there are 15 people inline up there.
And of course our fast paced USbrains kicked right in and we
(06:11):
started to walk away until myfriend Renee said hey, what's
the rush?
We literally have all day to go.
Three more miles.
And for a group of people whodo lots of miles on the weekends
, saturday walks and Sundayhiking three miles is something
that can go by pretty quicklyfor us.
And I tell you what.
It was such a smart move toslow down in that moment.
(06:34):
Because we got to the top ofthe cafe and let me tell you it
was amazing, had great views ofthe city of Vigo, into Redondela
, and the owner of the shop wasamazing.
There were lots of differentpeople that were in the cafe
from all over, some from Spain,some were from Germany, some
(06:56):
were from the UK, but it's agood reminder Like that
experience was a really goodreminder for us to like slow
down in our lives, and it's easyfor us to get caught up in the
rush of daily life, especiallyas empty nesters.
Right, we have a rush, or ifyou're preparing for an empty
nest, you're rushing to getthrough graduation and summer
(07:18):
and preparing to pack and moveand all of those good things,
and then there's silence andthen we try and fill that time
and so we want to continuerushing around as well.
But let me tell you, sometimesit's just the best thing in the
world if we just take a breath.
We just stop and take a breath.
So that was kind of the lessonfrom day one.
The other part of taking ajourney like the Camino is
(07:41):
reflection.
Reflection is an important partof any journey you're on,
whether it's life in general orthe Camino, but take some time
to reflect.
So here's something we starteddoing at dinner Each evening.
We started a tradition of whatis called crumb and cookie, and
I absolutely love that conceptcrumb and the cookie.
(08:01):
So at the end of each day, atthe meal, after the meal was
done, our group of seven wouldshare a crumb something that's
not so great from the day andthen also a cookie something
that was amazing from the day,and it's really a great practice
for gratitude and a little bitof resilience, so we can see,
okay, what wasn't so great andhow can we flip it around and
(08:23):
make it better.
My cookie that day wasn'tnecessarily the amazing views
from the cafe.
It could have certainly wellhave been.
It was an amazing spot to takea break, have a coffee, have a
little something to eat.
But in my journal I wrote thecookie was getting to know these
people.
I can remember these people Ihad known for only about 18
months and then literally justwalking with them or hiking with
(08:45):
them on a Saturday or Sunday,and again the other person was
someone I had just met.
So these new friends of mine,like getting to know them a
little bit better, was my cookiefrom that first day.
And this is this is interestingbecause if you look at I did a
little bit of research and Ilooked at like Harvard Medical
School, there was a blog postthat says when you focus on the
(09:07):
positive aspects of your day,even when things are tough and
let me tell you, when it wasraining day after day, things
felt tough for some folks it'sreally a key strategy for
improving our mental well-being.
So that's the takeaway herewhen you focus on the positive
aspects of your day, it canreally help to improve your
mental health and studies showthat practicing gratitude can
(09:29):
increase happiness and reducestress.
Now I'm not saying you have tostart a gratitude journal and
like keep it that way, but justpausing for a minute and
reflecting on the day, do kindof like a debrief and say what
was my cookie from the day, whatwas my crumb from the day, how
can I continue to lean into thecookies of my life, and then
also how can I take a look atthe crumbs that show up a little
(09:50):
bit differently?
So as we began our journey thatsecond day, we quickly learned
kind of how unexpectedconnections come together.
So for me there was a reminderthat even hard things can be
rewarding.
That surfaced.
So in my journal.
I wrote, as we started ourjourney in day, two words from
(10:11):
the lead guide.
We had met a group of folksfrom Chicago who were a lot
bigger than our group, but thatthe lead guide said listen,
today is going to be a very hardfive hours, and that was the
trip that we were going fromElla up to Ponte Vedra.
And he said listen, it's goingto be a hard day.
(10:34):
And at the time when he said itto us.
I dismissed it as no big deal.
Like our group hikes, regularly, we put in the miles, we do the
work.
But let me tell you, little didI know how much foreshadowing
had happened at breakfast, justa little bit earlier that day.
It was difficult, this city.
It was like an up and up and upand up.
(10:56):
It was like someone quippedthat does this town ever have a
stop at the top?
So it was hard, but along theway we met so many interesting
people.
I continued in my journal.
(11:20):
This walk is truly a melting potof all different humans looking
to find their way to lightentheir load and to leave behind
unspoken burdens On the journey.
You never speak to someone formore than maybe five or 15
minutes, somewhere in that range, because people move at
different paces.
But throughout thoseconversations you always leave a
little better for having metthem.
And the Camino seems to havethis way of attracting people
(11:41):
who are ready for a change intheir lives, who are ready to
experience new things.
And the equivalent here foryour own journey in life is like
how can you grab onto thethought of everybody that you
meet could change the way youthink about things?
Let that sink in for a minute.
(12:02):
Everybody you meet along yourjourney in life could help you
think about things a little bitdifferently Now, by day three, I
started to realize this tripwas as much about self-discovery
as it was about the scenery.
And let me tell you, the scenerywas phenomenal.
Even with the rain, thecountryside in Spain is
(12:24):
incredible.
We walked through towns andvillages and farmland, and every
stop that we made was just asbreathtaking as the last one.
It just was like this endlessstream of incredible photos and
paintings in our minds that wecould see.
Now I continue to write.
(12:45):
Each of us on this trip haveunique gifts that make us who we
are and also make us a part ofa whole.
And I was referring to thegroup, the group of people that
I had spent some time getting toknow here over the last 18
months, but really started toget to know on this journey.
And here's what I learned and Ishare, so that you can take a
little bit away for yourself.
(13:06):
As you look around life and asyou meet new people, it's like
what can you take away from themand incorporate into your own
life?
So here's what I learned fromeach of the people I was making
the journey on.
So Trish, who is the captain?
I would say I call her thecaptain of our Not Dead Yet crew
.
That's what we call ourselves.
We're not dead yet.
That's why we keep doing theseadventures.
(13:27):
She came into my life to remindme that gratitude should be an
important part of our lives, notjust once in a while, but every
single day.
That's her superpower.
She does a gratitude post everyMonday on Facebook and it's
just a reminder that gratitudeis an important part of our
lives.
Then her husband, david.
He's the medic of our crew.
(13:47):
Former military guy.
He came into my life to remindme to just be me.
Crew former military guy.
He came into my life to remindme to just be me.
No walls, no filters and nohiding what I most love about
life.
His superpower is beingunapologetically himself and
having a passion for life andfor love for the people in it.
(14:07):
His energy is without compare.
In it, his energy is withoutcompare.
Renee.
She was our crew's free spirit.
She came into my life to remindme that I could stand to be
less of a people pleaser andmore of a not putting up with
the bullshit that often plaguesour lives.
That's her superpower, andthere's something to be said for
that.
(14:27):
Sue, who's the newest member ofour crew and the one that I
just met at the gate at Logan.
She came into my life to remindme that it's not a bad thing to
say what's on your mind,because otherwise how would
anyone really know what I'mthinking?
That's what I glean from her.
That's her superpower.
Then there's Mary, the MasterChief's Chief.
(14:50):
You'll make this connection ina second when I talk about Rich,
but she's the master chief'schief.
She came into my life to remindme that we can always do new
things and try new experiences,no matter when we start in life,
and that being on the edge canbe a really good thing.
That's her superpower.
Being on the edge is when weclimb mountains.
(15:12):
She likes to be close to theedge.
She likes to see what's there,which is an amazing thing when
you think about it.
And then, finally, Rich, herhusband, mary's husband.
He is our master chief andchief navigator when we're doing
things at home.
He came into my life to remindme that it's really good to
listen way more than I speak, sothat when I do say something,
(15:34):
people listen and take notice.
That is his superpower, andit's a pretty important one to
remember Now.
These journal entries.
They all highlight theimportance of self-awareness and
recognizing your strengths andweaknesses.
And as empty nesters, you havea unique opportunity to redefine
yourself right now and explorenew passions.
(15:56):
Your kids are off exploring newpassions.
They're trying to figure outwho they are.
You have the same opportunityand, as you understand your
gifts and the gifts of thosearound you, you can create a
more fulfilling life.
And I know that might seemunimaginable that your kids were
the reason right that you exist, that you, they fulfilled your
(16:20):
life up until this point.
But now it's time to pivot.
Emptiness is an opportunity topivot and create a more
fulfilling life.
Not to say that being a parentisn't fulfilling enough, but now
it's tenfold.
You can add on top of it.
So much learning happened for mein the first three days on the
Camino and let me tell you, daysfour and five did not
(16:41):
disappoint either.
Day four, day four, was allabout slowing down and
appreciating the moment I wrotein my journal somewhere between
the raindrops of the first threedays and the pangs of FOMO and
working to stay up with thegroup, I had somehow lost sight
of my own superpower.
I talked about the superpowersof the others in the group, but
(17:02):
I needed to be reminded of whatmy superpower was, and it was
noted by my friend Trish, whenshe responded to my post about
everyone else's superpower.
She said when you have a dream,jay, you make it happen, and
along the way, stopping to smellthe roses is the best part of
the journey.
That reminder is what yoursuperpower is.
(17:24):
That's what you bring to thetable.
So it was time for me to makemy own way on day four.
Now.
I stayed with a group off andon that day but I slowed my pace
I chose to speak to differentpeople and as we started to
enter the city of Padron, wherewe would be staying for night
four, we had about a mile leftto go to the hotel.
(17:46):
We had walked through some farmfield and we started walking
along the Saar River.
And as I made that right-handturn to head towards the city
center, I received a sign tostop.
Okay, it wasn't a sign fromabove, it was a sign from my
stomach, because I was prettyhungry at this point.
It was about maybe almost threein the afternoon and I hadn't
eaten since breakfast.
(18:06):
So I stopped.
I sat on a rock.
I enjoyed the lunch I hadpacked, which was a sandwich
that I had made at breakfastearlier in the day, two
tangerines and a cookie from theprevious night's hotel.
That was the sweet spot for theday.
Now, why was this important?
Mindfulness?
Mindfulness, which is thepractice of paying attention to
(18:28):
the present moment without anyjudgment, is a powerful tool for
reducing stress and enhancingwell-being.
So, for me, taking time tosavor a meal, to appreciate the
beauty of nature and to simplyjust breathe deeply by myself
next to the river, that helpedme reconnect with myself.
(18:49):
And you can do the same thing,right.
That helped me reconnect withmyself.
And you can do the same thing,right.
You can find joy in everydaymoments by just taking a moment
to pause, to savor a meal, toappreciate the beauty of what's
around you and to reconnect withyourself and with others.
Now, the final day.
It's day five.
I'm starting to feel the weightof the journey.
The people I had walked withhit me.
(19:09):
The people in my own group, thepeople that I had met from all
over the world, each with adifferent story and a different
reason for walking the Camino.
I wrote in my journal when Ithink about the last few days
with this crew, my not dead yetpeeps, and also the people that
I've met along the way.
I am just incredibly awestruckwith what humans can accomplish
(19:33):
when they have a finaldestination in mind.
Let me tell you, the Camino isan arduous journey.
It's not hard but it's arduous.
Some people may debate thosetwo words as being the same, but
let me tell you it is also anincredible journey, filled with
highlights and lowlights.
It's filled with ways that youlearn as much about others as
(19:56):
you do about yourself, and inthe end, it's necessary for us
to let go and move on, to makespace in our lives for the next
great adventure.
The end of our journey was anecessary ending.
Necessary endings happen allthe time in our lives and while
we wanted to continue to go andcontinue to capture the magic of
(20:18):
the Camino and the magic ofSpain, it was a necessary ending
so that we could continue tomove forward with our lives.
So I'm going to ask you, myfriends, what's your Camino?
It doesn't have to be an epicwalk, but what's the adventure
that's calling to you now thatyou're an empty nester?
Maybe it's a physical journey,like the Camino de Santiago.
(20:38):
Maybe it's a new hobby, a newcareer or a deeper exploration
of your own inner landscape.
Whatever it is.
I encourage you to take thatfirst step and if you're ready,
if you'd like some help figuringout what that next step should
be, I encourage you to head overto thisemptinesslifecom.
There you can learn more aboutworking with me to design your
(20:59):
next chapter and create a lifethat's both meaningful and
fulfilling and isn't that whatlife is all about?
You can do it, my friends.
I totally believe in you, ahundred percent%.
There are so many things.
There's so much time in thislife.
Do not wait.
Don't wait.
Take advantage of it now.
While your kids are exploringlife, you too should be
(21:21):
exploring life as well.
All right, my friends, thankyou for joining me today, and
until next time, don't forget.
Embrace the journey andremember your greatest adventure
may just be around the corner.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Are you ready to start living and enjoying your
empty nest years?
If so, head over tojasonramsdencom and click work
with me to get the conversationstarted.
This Empty Nest Life is aproduction of Impact.
One Media LLC.
All rights reserved.
It's necessary for us to let go and move on, to make
space in our lives for the nextgreat adventure.
The end of our journey was anecessary ending.
Necessary endings happen allthe time in our lives and while
we wanted to continue to go andcontinue to capture the magic of
the Camino and the magic ofSpain, it was a necessary ending
so that we could continue tomove forward with our lives.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome to this Empty Nest Life.
Join Jay Ramston as he leadsyou on a transformative journey
through the uncharted seas ofmidlife and empty nesting.
If you're ready to embark onthis new adventure and redefine
your future, you're in the rightplace.
Here's your host, the EmptyNest Coach, Jay Ramston.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hello, my Empty Nest friends, and welcome back to
this emptiness life For today.
Well, today I'm going solo andmoving forward.
You can expect some soloepisodes as well as some more
guests.
I've got big plans for the show, so make sure you stay tuned.
Returned from a recentadventure that taught me a ton
(01:04):
about myself, about connectingwith other people and embracing
the journey that we're on.
So last week I embarked on ajourney to walk the Camino de
Santiago, or, more accurately, aportion of it.
Specifically, I walked aportion of the Camino Portugues.
It's a pilgrimage across thenorthwest part of Spain, which
(01:26):
is known as Galicia.
Now, some people well, theywalk the Camino for religious
reasons, some for spiritualreasons, some they just see if
they can do it right, walk dayafter day after day.
For me it was partly spiritualand partly to see if I could
walk for several days straightfor roughly about 12 miles a day
(01:49):
, give or take.
But mostly for me it was aboutstepping outside my comfort zone
, and if you're a regularlistener to this show, you know
stepping outside your comfortzone is something I talk about a
lot.
But I wanted to see what Icould learn about myself on this
journey and also what I couldlearn about others.
So on this journey I waswalking with friends, and I say
(02:12):
sort of friends.
I've known these folks forabout 18 months.
I met them as part of a hikinggroup that I belong to.
So I literally left Boston withfive people I've known for a
short amount of time and thenactually one person that I
really didn't get to know untilI got to the departure gate.
Let me tell you somethingTravel, especially challenging
(02:34):
travel like heading to a foreigncountry where no one but myself
spoke the language.
That is a fast trip to gettingto know people pretty well.
So I just want to share alittle bit of that journey here
today in snippets.
So I took some time to journala little bit while I was on this
journey.
So here's a little bit from dayone.
(02:55):
It was five days in total, soyou get a little bit of snippets
and things that I've learnedalong the way and then some
grounding, some of it inpsychology that'll help you kind
of as you're on your journey aswell.
So from day one a littlesnippet.
Day one was a complete whirlwind.
Traveling to a differentcountry you leave.
We left Boston around 4.30.
(03:17):
We got in to Madrid around 5.30in the morning.
The next day we had to make ourway to our next gate to go from
Madrid to Vigo, which is wherewe are starting our journey, and
it was this kind of we getthere, we get settled, we drop
our bags, we explore Vigo forthe day.
It is go, go, go, go, go.
We come back to the hotel, weget an opportunity to rest a
(03:40):
little bit.
I took a chance to take alittle bit of a nap before we
were going to go out to dinnerthat night.
But what I found about the verynext day, day one of our
journey, which was the 10th ofMay breakfast at the hotel
didn't start until 8 am, whichwas an amazing thing, because
sleep was so desperately neededfrom the long day of travel
(04:01):
before and exploring the city ofVigo.
Even simple things likebreakfast on this trip were an
experience.
You met people from all overthe world, whether it was at
breakfast in the morning or atcafes or as you were walking,
but places like Canada andGermany and Alaska and
Connecticut those are just acouple of examples and everyone
(04:22):
on this journey had a story.
Everyone had their own reasonfor doing this and, as you get
used to being on the Camino andspending some time traveling and
moving forward each day andmeeting lots of different people
, your experience becomes kindof the experience of others.
(04:43):
So this is what psychologistscall social comparison.
When we're in new situationslike this, we naturally look to
others to gauge our ownexperiences and feelings.
So, for example, the firstthree days it rained for most of
our journey, off and on for twodays and then pretty straight
on the third day.
And so naturally, as humans, welook to others to develop kind
(05:05):
of our own experiences andfeelings, and sometimes we take
on the experiences of others.
So if we're struggling, thenpeople might also feel as if
they were struggling too.
However, here's the cool thingright Meeting people from
different backgrounds.
They bring differentexperiences to it.
So whether we're on the Caminoor elsewhere in life, you can
(05:27):
really broaden your perspectivesand challenge our assumptions
about ourselves and the world bytaking time to learn from
others.
So my big lesson from that firstday was slowing down, and
here's why we were headed.
I don't know we were maybehalfway through day one and we
were headed down a path and thenthere was a little path that
(05:48):
went up pretty vertical, up onthe mountain on the backside of
us and it said three and a halfkilometers up to a cafe.
And this is what I wrote in myjournal.
As we approached, a man wascoming down the hill and he said
hey, there are 15 people inline up there.
And of course our fast paced USbrains kicked right in and we
(06:11):
started to walk away until myfriend Renee said hey, what's
the rush?
We literally have all day to go.
Three more miles.
And for a group of people whodo lots of miles on the weekends
, saturday walks and Sundayhiking three miles is something
that can go by pretty quicklyfor us.
And I tell you what.
It was such a smart move toslow down in that moment.
(06:34):
Because we got to the top ofthe cafe and let me tell you it
was amazing, had great views ofthe city of Vigo, into Redondela
, and the owner of the shop wasamazing.
There were lots of differentpeople that were in the cafe
from all over, some from Spain,some were from Germany, some
(06:56):
were from the UK, but it's agood reminder Like that
experience was a really goodreminder for us to like slow
down in our lives, and it's easyfor us to get caught up in the
rush of daily life, especiallyas empty nesters.
Right, we have a rush, or ifyou're preparing for an empty
nest, you're rushing to getthrough graduation and summer
(07:18):
and preparing to pack and moveand all of those good things,
and then there's silence andthen we try and fill that time
and so we want to continuerushing around as well.
But let me tell you, sometimesit's just the best thing in the
world if we just take a breath.
We just stop and take a breath.
So that was kind of the lessonfrom day one.
The other part of taking ajourney like the Camino is
(07:41):
reflection.
Reflection is an important partof any journey you're on,
whether it's life in general orthe Camino, but take some time
to reflect.
So here's something we starteddoing at dinner Each evening.
We started a tradition of whatis called crumb and cookie, and
I absolutely love that conceptcrumb and the cookie.
(08:01):
So at the end of each day, atthe meal, after the meal was
done, our group of seven wouldshare a crumb something that's
not so great from the day andthen also a cookie something
that was amazing from the day,and it's really a great practice
for gratitude and a little bitof resilience, so we can see,
okay, what wasn't so great andhow can we flip it around and
(08:23):
make it better.
My cookie that day wasn'tnecessarily the amazing views
from the cafe.
It could have certainly wellhave been.
It was an amazing spot to takea break, have a coffee, have a
little something to eat.
But in my journal I wrote thecookie was getting to know these
people.
I can remember these people Ihad known for only about 18
months and then literally justwalking with them or hiking with
(08:45):
them on a Saturday or Sunday,and again the other person was
someone I had just met.
So these new friends of mine,like getting to know them a
little bit better, was my cookiefrom that first day.
And this is this is interestingbecause if you look at I did a
little bit of research and Ilooked at like Harvard Medical
School, there was a blog postthat says when you focus on the
(09:07):
positive aspects of your day,even when things are tough and
let me tell you, when it wasraining day after day, things
felt tough for some folks it'sreally a key strategy for
improving our mental well-being.
So that's the takeaway herewhen you focus on the positive
aspects of your day, it canreally help to improve your
mental health and studies showthat practicing gratitude can
(09:29):
increase happiness and reducestress.
Now I'm not saying you have tostart a gratitude journal and
like keep it that way, but justpausing for a minute and
reflecting on the day, do kindof like a debrief and say what
was my cookie from the day, whatwas my crumb from the day, how
can I continue to lean into thecookies of my life, and then
also how can I take a look atthe crumbs that show up a little
(09:50):
bit differently?
So as we began our journey thatsecond day, we quickly learned
kind of how unexpectedconnections come together.
So for me there was a reminderthat even hard things can be
rewarding.
That surfaced.
So in my journal.
I wrote, as we started ourjourney in day, two words from
(10:11):
the lead guide.
We had met a group of folksfrom Chicago who were a lot
bigger than our group, but thatthe lead guide said listen,
today is going to be a very hardfive hours, and that was the
trip that we were going fromElla up to Ponte Vedra.
And he said listen, it's goingto be a hard day.
(10:34):
And at the time when he said itto us.
I dismissed it as no big deal.
Like our group hikes, regularly, we put in the miles, we do the
work.
But let me tell you, little didI know how much foreshadowing
had happened at breakfast, justa little bit earlier that day.
It was difficult, this city.
It was like an up and up and upand up.
(10:56):
It was like someone quippedthat does this town ever have a
stop at the top?
So it was hard, but along theway we met so many interesting
people.
I continued in my journal.
(11:20):
This walk is truly a melting potof all different humans looking
to find their way to lightentheir load and to leave behind
unspoken burdens On the journey.
You never speak to someone formore than maybe five or 15
minutes, somewhere in that range, because people move at
different paces.
But throughout thoseconversations you always leave a
little better for having metthem.
And the Camino seems to havethis way of attracting people
(11:41):
who are ready for a change intheir lives, who are ready to
experience new things.
And the equivalent here foryour own journey in life is like
how can you grab onto thethought of everybody that you
meet could change the way youthink about things?
Let that sink in for a minute.
(12:02):
Everybody you meet along yourjourney in life could help you
think about things a little bitdifferently Now, by day three, I
started to realize this tripwas as much about self-discovery
as it was about the scenery.
And let me tell you, the scenerywas phenomenal.
Even with the rain, thecountryside in Spain is
(12:24):
incredible.
We walked through towns andvillages and farmland, and every
stop that we made was just asbreathtaking as the last one.
It just was like this endlessstream of incredible photos and
paintings in our minds that wecould see.
Now I continue to write.
(12:45):
Each of us on this trip haveunique gifts that make us who we
are and also make us a part ofa whole.
And I was referring to thegroup, the group of people that
I had spent some time getting toknow here over the last 18
months, but really started toget to know on this journey.
And here's what I learned and Ishare, so that you can take a
little bit away for yourself.
(13:06):
As you look around life and asyou meet new people, it's like
what can you take away from themand incorporate into your own
life?
So here's what I learned fromeach of the people I was making
the journey on.
So Trish, who is the captain?
I would say I call her thecaptain of our Not Dead Yet crew
.
That's what we call ourselves.
We're not dead yet.
That's why we keep doing theseadventures.
(13:27):
She came into my life to remindme that gratitude should be an
important part of our lives, notjust once in a while, but every
single day.
That's her superpower.
She does a gratitude post everyMonday on Facebook and it's
just a reminder that gratitudeis an important part of our
lives.
Then her husband, david.
He's the medic of our crew.
(13:47):
Former military guy.
He came into my life to remindme to just be me.
Crew former military guy.
He came into my life to remindme to just be me.
No walls, no filters and nohiding what I most love about
life.
His superpower is beingunapologetically himself and
having a passion for life andfor love for the people in it.
(14:07):
His energy is without compare.
In it, his energy is withoutcompare.
Renee.
She was our crew's free spirit.
She came into my life to remindme that I could stand to be
less of a people pleaser andmore of a not putting up with
the bullshit that often plaguesour lives.
That's her superpower, andthere's something to be said for
that.
(14:27):
Sue, who's the newest member ofour crew and the one that I
just met at the gate at Logan.
She came into my life to remindme that it's not a bad thing to
say what's on your mind,because otherwise how would
anyone really know what I'mthinking?
That's what I glean from her.
That's her superpower.
Then there's Mary, the MasterChief's Chief.
(14:50):
You'll make this connection ina second when I talk about Rich,
but she's the master chief'schief.
She came into my life to remindme that we can always do new
things and try new experiences,no matter when we start in life,
and that being on the edge canbe a really good thing.
That's her superpower.
Being on the edge is when weclimb mountains.
(15:12):
She likes to be close to theedge.
She likes to see what's there,which is an amazing thing when
you think about it.
And then, finally, Rich, herhusband, mary's husband.
He is our master chief andchief navigator when we're doing
things at home.
He came into my life to remindme that it's really good to
listen way more than I speak, sothat when I do say something,
(15:34):
people listen and take notice.
That is his superpower, andit's a pretty important one to
remember Now.
These journal entries.
They all highlight theimportance of self-awareness and
recognizing your strengths andweaknesses.
And as empty nesters, you havea unique opportunity to redefine
yourself right now and explorenew passions.
(15:56):
Your kids are off exploring newpassions.
They're trying to figure outwho they are.
You have the same opportunityand, as you understand your
gifts and the gifts of thosearound you, you can create a
more fulfilling life.
And I know that might seemunimaginable that your kids were
the reason right that you exist, that you, they fulfilled your
(16:20):
life up until this point.
But now it's time to pivot.
Emptiness is an opportunity topivot and create a more
fulfilling life.
Not to say that being a parentisn't fulfilling enough, but now
it's tenfold.
You can add on top of it.
So much learning happened for mein the first three days on the
Camino and let me tell you, daysfour and five did not
(16:41):
disappoint either.
Day four, day four, was allabout slowing down and
appreciating the moment I wrotein my journal somewhere between
the raindrops of the first threedays and the pangs of FOMO and
working to stay up with thegroup, I had somehow lost sight
of my own superpower.
I talked about the superpowersof the others in the group, but
(17:02):
I needed to be reminded of whatmy superpower was, and it was
noted by my friend Trish, whenshe responded to my post about
everyone else's superpower.
She said when you have a dream,jay, you make it happen, and
along the way, stopping to smellthe roses is the best part of
the journey.
That reminder is what yoursuperpower is.
(17:24):
That's what you bring to thetable.
So it was time for me to makemy own way on day four.
Now.
I stayed with a group off andon that day but I slowed my pace
I chose to speak to differentpeople and as we started to
enter the city of Padron, wherewe would be staying for night
four, we had about a mile leftto go to the hotel.
(17:46):
We had walked through some farmfield and we started walking
along the Saar River.
And as I made that right-handturn to head towards the city
center, I received a sign tostop.
Okay, it wasn't a sign fromabove, it was a sign from my
stomach, because I was prettyhungry at this point.
It was about maybe almost threein the afternoon and I hadn't
eaten since breakfast.
(18:06):
So I stopped.
I sat on a rock.
I enjoyed the lunch I hadpacked, which was a sandwich
that I had made at breakfastearlier in the day, two
tangerines and a cookie from theprevious night's hotel.
That was the sweet spot for theday.
Now, why was this important?
Mindfulness?
Mindfulness, which is thepractice of paying attention to
(18:28):
the present moment without anyjudgment, is a powerful tool for
reducing stress and enhancingwell-being.
So, for me, taking time tosavor a meal, to appreciate the
beauty of nature and to simplyjust breathe deeply by myself
next to the river, that helpedme reconnect with myself.
(18:49):
And you can do the same thing,right.
That helped me reconnect withmyself.
And you can do the same thing,right.
You can find joy in everydaymoments by just taking a moment
to pause, to savor a meal, toappreciate the beauty of what's
around you and to reconnect withyourself and with others.
Now, the final day.
It's day five.
I'm starting to feel the weightof the journey.
The people I had walked withhit me.
(19:09):
The people in my own group, thepeople that I had met from all
over the world, each with adifferent story and a different
reason for walking the Camino.
I wrote in my journal when Ithink about the last few days
with this crew, my not dead yetpeeps, and also the people that
I've met along the way.
I am just incredibly awestruckwith what humans can accomplish
(19:33):
when they have a finaldestination in mind.
Let me tell you, the Camino isan arduous journey.
It's not hard but it's arduous.
Some people may debate thosetwo words as being the same, but
let me tell you it is also anincredible journey, filled with
highlights and lowlights.
It's filled with ways that youlearn as much about others as
(19:56):
you do about yourself, and inthe end, it's necessary for us
to let go and move on, to makespace in our lives for the next
great adventure.
The end of our journey was anecessary ending.
Necessary endings happen allthe time in our lives and while
we wanted to continue to go andcontinue to capture the magic of
(20:18):
the Camino and the magic ofSpain, it was a necessary ending
so that we could continue tomove forward with our lives.
So I'm going to ask you, myfriends, what's your Camino?
It doesn't have to be an epicwalk, but what's the adventure
that's calling to you now thatyou're an empty nester?
Maybe it's a physical journey,like the Camino de Santiago.
(20:38):
Maybe it's a new hobby, a newcareer or a deeper exploration
of your own inner landscape.
Whatever it is.
I encourage you to take thatfirst step and if you're ready,
if you'd like some help figuringout what that next step should
be, I encourage you to head overto thisemptinesslifecom.
There you can learn more aboutworking with me to design your
(20:59):
next chapter and create a lifethat's both meaningful and
fulfilling and isn't that whatlife is all about?
You can do it, my friends.
I totally believe in you, ahundred percent%.
There are so many things.
There's so much time in thislife.
Do not wait.
Don't wait.
Take advantage of it now.
While your kids are exploringlife, you too should be
(21:21):
exploring life as well.
All right, my friends, thankyou for joining me today, and
until next time, don't forget.
Embrace the journey andremember your greatest adventure
may just be around the corner.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Are you ready to start living and enjoying your
empty nest years?
If so, head over tojasonramsdencom and click work
with me to get the conversationstarted.
This Empty Nest Life is aproduction of Impact.
One Media LLC.
All rights reserved.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com