May 31, 2025 • 18 mins
Graduation season often brings a sudden, gut-wrenching realization: your child is leaving, and life as you've known it is about to change forever.
This episode explores that pivotal moment when parents shift from full-time caretakers to part-time advisors.
Instead of resisting or pretending the change isn’t happening, discover how embracing the mantra "Let Life Evolve" can transform this challenging time into an opportunity for growth and renewal.
We dive into the powerful idea that within the word "challenge" lies "LLE"—a reminder that change is not just inevitable but also a catalyst for transformation.
You'll learn practical strategies for managing this transition: maintaining routines for stability, caring for your physical health, communicating openly, and proactively exploring new interests.
The key message?
The empty nest years are about possibility—not just loss. The skills that made you a great parent can now serve as tools for rediscovering yourself. This isn’t about replacing parenting with hobbies—it’s about reconnecting with the person beneath the role.
Highlights & Key Takeaways:
- Resistance only makes transition harder; embrace change instead.
- The acronym LLE (Let Life Evolve) reminds us to accept and flow with change.
- Keep routines to provide stability during uncertain times.
- Seek support—friends, family, or coaches—so you don’t have to navigate alone.
- As relationships evolve, clear communication and healthy boundaries are essential.
- Focus on what's possible now, rather than dwelling on what’s ending.
- Rediscover interests and prioritize your physical health—don’t wait for retirement or grandchildren to start your next chapter.
Join us as we explore how this transition - filled with a mix of grief and gratitude - can become your next great opportunity for growth.
You don’t have to wait; your new life begins now.
Tune in, and remember: "Let Life Evolve."
FREE WORKBOOK
3 Steps to Loving Your Empty Nest Life
ENJOY THE SHOW?
Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or follow on Spotify and many more.
LOVE THE SHOW?
Get your THIS EMPTY NEST LIFE swag
Review us on Love the Podcast, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify -- reviews and ratings help others find us and we’d appreciate your support greatly.
CONNECT WITH JAY
Email, LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
change is happening, as much as you don't want it to
happen, as much as you feel likeyou haven't taught your kiddo
everything that they need toknow.
A big change is coming in yourlife, so don't try to resist it
or pretend that it's not there.
Don't hold on so tightly thatyou can't see the new journey
that you're about to embark on.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to this Empty Nest Life.
Join Jay Ramsden as he leadsyou on a transformative journey
through the uncharted seas ofmidlife and empty nesting.
If you're ready to embark onthis new adventure and redefine
your future, you're in the rightplace.
Here's your host, the emptynest coach, Jay Ramsden.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hello, my empty nest friends, and welcome back to
this empty nest life.
It is so good to have you heretoday as I take a look at the
unexpected adventures of lifeafter kids, after they leave
home.
It's that time of year, rightnow, may June when so many
parents are having that oh crap,my life is changing moment.
It's high school graduation,it's college graduation.
(00:59):
It's a time of life whereyou're looking at this and
saying you know what this reallysucks, sucks the wind out of me
, sucks the winds out of yoursails, and it makes you pause
and wonder what's next.
Sure, okay, this is a normalpart of life and if we've done
our jobs as parents, the kidsare supposed to grow up and move
(01:20):
on.
But you know what?
It doesn't make it any easier.
Today I'm diving into this topicof change, that 180 degree
pivot.
That can feel terrifying, itcan feel nerve wracking and
uneasy, but you know what?
It can also be a littleexhilarating, and you may not
believe me if you're listeningto this and you're a parent of a
(01:40):
high school senior or a collegesenior who just graduated.
It can be a little exhilarating.
Now you have concerns, perhapsaround your identity and your
loss of purpose andrelationships that you have in
your life with a partner orspouse, your kids, who are now
going to be pushing theboundaries of independence a
little bit.
So let's get into it.
So today I'm going to share alittle bit about some of the big
(02:03):
changes in my own life thatspurred me to start my own
adventures, and then also offersome tips and tricks for just
not surviving this time in life,but for thriving thriving
through this transition and thetransitions to come.
So here you are.
You're smack in the middle ofthe inevitable pivot from 24-7
(02:24):
parent to part-time parent.
It's almost like having a W-2job where you have a regular
salary, and then you become this1099 part-time person.
That's what it feels like for alot of folks and it's something
you see coming.
Let's be honest, you see itcoming the day that your kids
are in kindergarten.
You know that this day iscoming, but it's also something
(02:45):
you never truly prepare for andbefore you know it, it's
graduation time.
Maybe it happened already,maybe it's happening here in the
early part of June, and then,all of a sudden, the summer
flies by.
I don't want to worry you, itdoes fly by and that kid of
yours is off to college or offto work, or perhaps they're
going into the military.
If they're doing that, thankyou for their service.
(03:05):
But you know what the change?
This change this time in life?
It's inevitable, especiallyduring the empty nest years.
Change happens frequently, butwhat you didn't fully understand
was the weight of the emotionsyou are experiencing.
It's like we spend so much timefocused on raising our kids
that when they finally fly thecoop, we're left wondering okay,
(03:29):
now what?
Listen, it's completely normalto feel a sense of loss, a loss
of purpose, or even a little bitlost yourself.
Your identity has been sowrapped up in being a parent for
so long.
It's natural to feel a littlebit unmoored from your anchor,
if you will, when the roleshifts.
(03:50):
So how do you navigate thisinevitable pivot?
Well, the first thing, it'simportant to acknowledge that
change is happening.
Whether you want to or not,change is happening.
As much as you don't want it tohappen, as much as you feel
like you haven't taught yourkiddo everything that they need
to know.
A big change is coming in yourlife.
So don't try to resist it orpretend that it's not there.
(04:13):
I recommend embracing it.
I know that sounds a littlescary, but try embracing it,
looking at it as it's anopportunity for growth.
And you may hear that from alot of people and you're like I
need to grieve now and you do.
You need to grieve the loss ofwhat was this house that's full
of energy and perhaps you werethe house where all the kids
(04:34):
went to and it was vibrant andalive.
And it may be that way thissummer a little bit.
Or it may be that your kids arepulling away and they're going
to other people's houses andthat's all part of the normal
process.
But I want you to think of thisas a new journey, especially
when you get into the fall.
But start thinking about thatnow.
Don't hold on so tightly thatyou can't see the new journey
(04:55):
that you're about to embark on.
Sure, absolutely.
You're still a parent.
You'll always be mom or dad.
You'll always be their parent,for that matter.
But you'll quickly become moreof an advisor than a daily
teacher or keeper of thelogistics of their lives.
This pivotal moment it'shappening.
Logistics of their lives.
(05:18):
This pivotal moment it'shappening and the more you fight
it, the more you resist it, themore you desire or wish you
could have a little more time,the harder the transition will
be Now.
I wish I had been more preparedfor this time.
When my kids launched and my sonhad graduated college the year
before my daughter, and then mydaughter was getting ready to
graduate this was all in thespring of 2022.
(05:39):
And in one week we moved bothof them into their adult
apartments.
And my daughter moved in themonth before she was to graduate
so that she could get ready tospring and launch.
And then my son had spent alittle bit of time living with
us after graduation and found ajob.
And then he, a week later, wemoved into his first apartment,
his first adult apartment.
(06:00):
They were both getting ready tojoin the workforce.
And then, in an instant, justlike that, my job as Mr
Logistics, done over nada,complete nothing.
And when you layer into thatequation that my wife and I had
just moved 10 months earlier toa new place for my wife's work
there was a promotion therethere was this overwhelming
(06:22):
sense of what the heck do I donow Like?
Who am I?
Who am I if I'm not taking careof everyone in my family?
That was my role, right Makingsure everybody had to be where
they were supposed to be doinglaundry and taking care of all
of the meals and lunches andcarpools and everything like
that.
But all of a sudden it juststopped, even though the kids
(06:43):
were kind of living with us, butnot, it just stopped.
The question was like what ismy life supposed to look like
right now?
So many frigging questions, somany frigging questions Right
now.
I imagine you're probably stuckbetween thinking okay, jay, it's
easier said than done toprepare for this time in life
and totally feel that pain.
(07:07):
And you're right, as humans,change is very hard.
What I like to say is thatthere's always a challenge
involved when there's a change.
But I also like to think of ita little bit differently, like
there's actually change in anychallenge we face.
So do me a favor, grab a pieceof paper and a pen, not if
you're driving, if you're doingsomething that requires other
(07:28):
attention.
Don't do this, but try andimagine it in your head.
So write down the wordchallenge C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-E
challenge.
Now circle the letters L-L-E inthe middle.
If you look closely, now thatL-L-E is circled, change C-H-A
(07:49):
and N-G-E surrounds the wordchallenge, but that's not what I
want you to focus on.
What I want you to focus on isin the middle, the heart of it.
If you will, it's the mostimportant piece, that L-L-E.
I want you to focus on that.
Can you see it?
And if you've written it down,obviously you can see it.
If you're driving, can youimagine the L-L-E right there?
This is your sign to let lifeevolve.
(08:22):
L-l-e, let life evolve.
L-l-e, let life evolve.
And as a parent, that is sohard because we want to control
so much.
We spend a lifetime ofcontrolling our kids, not in a
bad way, but just trying toteach them everything, to have
them organized, to prepare thepath for them, prepare them for
the path.
There's lots of differentthings that we do as parents,
but now it's time to let lifeevolve for them, prepare them
for the path.
There's lots of differentthings that we do as parents,
but now it's time to let lifeevolve.
Folks, that's my mantra.
It's my mantra for dealing withchange.
(08:42):
Let life evolve, embrace theunknown, be open to new
possibilities and trust thatyou're capable of handling
whatever comes your way.
I get it, I get it.
I get it, I get it.
As a parent, it might seem likethat's not quite possible, that
embracing this new phase inlife just isn't a reasonable
expectation.
I hear you.
(09:02):
I remember it.
I remember it, but, as Imentioned, my wife's new job
back in 2021 meant a very bigmove for us.
So, after spending 30 years ineducation, I was facing a career
pivot At the time.
After spending 30 years ineducation, I was facing a career
pivot.
At the time.
It was exciting, but it wasalso a little scary.
Okay, maybe it was a lot scary,but at times it's still scary.
(09:24):
For me, as an entrepreneur and anewly minted adventure seeker,
I guess that makes me anadventurepreneur.
Is that even a word,Adventurepreneur?
What isn't scary, though, isthat I get to help thousands of
people every day through my workas an Empty Nest coach, whether
they see my walks and talks onTikTok or Instagram, if they
read my blog or they join one ofmy masterclasses, or even if
(09:47):
they work with me directly,one-on-one.
I continue to make a differencein this world.
I did it when I was ineducation, I'm doing it now.
I get to teach and serve, and Iget to continue to learn and
grow myself.
Not going to lie, I'm in anenviable position, but at the
same time, it's still a littlescary.
That's life.
Life is always going to bescary, but what I want to
(10:08):
encourage you to think about isthat you can do things, even
when it's a little scary, evenif you're afraid.
You can be afraid and stillkick ass.
You can be afraid and still dothe hard thing.
You can be afraid and stillcontinue to move forward in your
life.
That's what this time is for.
This is what this emptinesslife is all about.
What I want you to remember,too, is that when you're feeling
(10:31):
overwhelmed by changeespecially for those who are new
to emptiness and this summer isgoing to be a little nutty take
a deep breath and remindyourself LLE, let life evolve.
Okay, so how do you actuallylet life evolve?
I came across an article inPsychology Today by Dr Stephanie
Sarkis that offers some greattips for coping with big changes
(10:51):
, and I wanted to share themwith you All right.
Number one acknowledge thatthings are changing.
Don't deny the change.
Accept it as reality.
Number two realize that evengood changes, like the kids
growing up and moving on, cancause stress.
Stress is a natural reaction tochange, whether it's positive
(11:13):
change or negative change.
Number three keep your regularschedule as much as possible,
especially during the hectictimes of the summer and moving
kids into school.
Maintain your routines toprovide a sense of stability and
normalcy.
If you don't have a routine,create one.
Try and anchor your morningsaround something, your
afternoons around something andyour evenings around something.
(11:35):
Next, try to eat as healthy aspossible.
It's natural reaction to stressto eat whatever's in front of
us, but it is important to limityour carbs and your sugar
during this time.
Trust me, it'll help.
Exercise, even just a shortwalk, can make a big difference
in your mood and energy levels.
Even a 10 or 15 minute walkaround the block.
(11:55):
If things are too stressful atthe house, if your kids aren't
listening to you, if they'repushing away, if they're trying
to cause this natural riftbetween you and them before
school starts and you need abreak nobody's listening to you,
you don't feel like you'rebeing heard.
Take a short break.
Take a walk.
Next, seek support.
Talk to friends, family, hire acoach.
Get in touch with your feelingsand your concerns.
(12:17):
Like I feel that that should benumber one on this list, not
buried towards the bottom.
Next, write down the positivesthat have come from the change.
Focus on the opportunities forgrowth and new experiences.
Spend five minutes writing whatis possible for you now that
the kids are leaving.
Think about that for a moment.
Spend five minutes writing downuntil your brain can't think of
(12:39):
anything else.
Next, get proactive.
Take charge of the situationand work preventatively to
overcome your challenges.
Don't just sit back.
Communicate with your family.
Ask everybody what's going on,ask what their expectations are
for the fall, when maybe theoldest is going off or maybe the
last one is going off.
Don't forget about the pets.
They are affected by thischange too.
(13:01):
I encourage you to vent, but toa point.
Vent to your support group, butdon't over-talk or over-think
the situation, and perhaps evenback away from social media.
Don't compare your life toothers' highlight reels.
So often it's easy to get stuckin reels on Instagram or
(13:23):
Facebook or TikToks.
Right Next thing you knowyou're three hours deep and
you're in the river of misery.
Perhaps back away from that fora little bit.
Another important topic in thistime, this transition, is your
relationships Relationships withyour partner or spouse, if you
have one.
Relationships with yoursiblings, if you have them.
Relationships with your kids,who are now going to be adulting
(13:45):
, because relationships often dochange during the empty nest
phase.
The dynamics with your partnermay shift as you rediscover each
other outside of parenting.
Your relationship with youradult children will evolve as
they become increasinglyindependent.
Remember, you become thispart-time parent now.
You won won't be with them 24-7.
(14:07):
You won't be in the know likeyou used to be in the know.
That's going to change.
Don't let it cause a rift.
Continue to open the lines ofcommunication, because it's
important to communicate openlywith your loved ones about your
feelings and your expectations.
Be patient too.
Be patient and understanding aseveryone adjusts to this new
normal.
(14:28):
Here's a little quick wellnessresource.
According to the Mayo Clinic,healthy relationships require
communication, respect andboundaries.
Make sure you're settinghealthy boundaries with your
adult children as they navigatetheir own lives.
So often we've spent a lot oftime being available to them,
(14:48):
being quick with an answer.
It's okay to say to your kidsthat's interesting, what are you
going to do about it?
It gets them to think, it getsthem to take responsibility and
that's okay to create thosesorts of boundaries.
One of the biggest challenges ofan empty nest is trying to find
new purpose.
Your kids are off exploring newthings.
(15:12):
This is your chance to explorelife as well.
You may often hear people sayget a hobby.
If you Google empty nestsyndrome, get a hobby is the
number one thing, but I don'tbelieve that is where you start,
because you don't replaceparenting full-time with a hobby
.
That's just not possible.
Now you may ultimately arriveat having hobbies and things you
(15:32):
like to do, but that's notwhere you start.
Empty nesting is a time torediscover yourself.
It's a time to create a lifethat's fulfilling and meaningful
outside of your children.
Start to explore what you mightfind interesting.
Add something to your daily,weekly or monthly routines as a
reminder.
Create a routine if you don'thave one, and then add things to
(15:54):
it.
According to Tony Robbins,passion can be ignited when you
feel a sense of contribution,growth and gratitude.
If you ask me, that sounds alot like parenting, so use that
as the starting point for whatcomes next for you.
Now Ask yourself what can Icontribute to now, how can I
continue to grow as a person andhow might I practice gratitude
(16:17):
with some regularity?
I also encourage you not to beafraid to step outside of your
comfort zone.
Try new things and see whatsparks your interest.
The emptiness years are a timeof significant change, and I
consider the emptiness yearsbetween the time your kids
launch and the time you or yourpartner or spouse retires.
(16:38):
That is the emptiness years tome, but there's also a time of
incredible opportunity here,with that significant change.
It's a chance to rediscoveryourself.
It's a chance to pursue newthings and it's an opportunity
to create a life that's trulyfulfilling for you.
It may have been incrediblyfulfilling to be a 24-7 parent,
(17:03):
from the time the kids were born, that very first day, until
they launched, but it doesn'tmean that you can't continue to
create a life that's fulfillingfor you.
Moving forward, don't wait.
Do not wait.
Start to do it now.
Don't wait for the kids tofinish college.
Don't wait for that engagement.
Don't wait for the wedding.
(17:23):
Don't wait for the grandbabies.
Don't wait for retirement.
Take advantage of life now.
That is what I want you toremember.
But most of all, here are threetakeaways from today's episode.
Acknowledge that change, keep aregular schedule and take care
of yourself, my friends.
But most importantly, it's okayto let life evolve.
(17:44):
Okay.
Thanks for tuning in to thisEmpty Nest Life this week.
I hope this episode hasinspired you to embrace the
change and create a life that'sfull of purpose and joy.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
And until next time, take care, my friends, Are you
ready to start living andenjoying your empty nest years?
If so, head over tojasonramsdencom and click work
with me to get the conversationstarted.
This Empty Nest Life is aproduction of Impact One Media
LLC.
All rights reserved.
change is happening, as much as you don't want it to
happen, as much as you feel likeyou haven't taught your kiddo
everything that they need toknow.
A big change is coming in yourlife, so don't try to resist it
or pretend that it's not there.
Don't hold on so tightly thatyou can't see the new journey
that you're about to embark on.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to this Empty Nest Life.
Join Jay Ramsden as he leadsyou on a transformative journey
through the uncharted seas ofmidlife and empty nesting.
If you're ready to embark onthis new adventure and redefine
your future, you're in the rightplace.
Here's your host, the emptynest coach, Jay Ramsden.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hello, my empty nest friends, and welcome back to
this empty nest life.
It is so good to have you heretoday as I take a look at the
unexpected adventures of lifeafter kids, after they leave
home.
It's that time of year, rightnow, may June when so many
parents are having that oh crap,my life is changing moment.
It's high school graduation,it's college graduation.
(00:59):
It's a time of life whereyou're looking at this and
saying you know what this reallysucks, sucks the wind out of me
, sucks the winds out of yoursails, and it makes you pause
and wonder what's next.
Sure, okay, this is a normalpart of life and if we've done
our jobs as parents, the kidsare supposed to grow up and move
(01:20):
on.
But you know what?
It doesn't make it any easier.
Today I'm diving into this topicof change, that 180 degree
pivot.
That can feel terrifying, itcan feel nerve wracking and
uneasy, but you know what?
It can also be a littleexhilarating, and you may not
believe me if you're listeningto this and you're a parent of a
(01:40):
high school senior or a collegesenior who just graduated.
It can be a little exhilarating.
Now you have concerns, perhapsaround your identity and your
loss of purpose andrelationships that you have in
your life with a partner orspouse, your kids, who are now
going to be pushing theboundaries of independence a
little bit.
So let's get into it.
So today I'm going to share alittle bit about some of the big
(02:03):
changes in my own life thatspurred me to start my own
adventures, and then also offersome tips and tricks for just
not surviving this time in life,but for thriving thriving
through this transition and thetransitions to come.
So here you are.
You're smack in the middle ofthe inevitable pivot from 24-7
(02:24):
parent to part-time parent.
It's almost like having a W-2job where you have a regular
salary, and then you become this1099 part-time person.
That's what it feels like for alot of folks and it's something
you see coming.
Let's be honest, you see itcoming the day that your kids
are in kindergarten.
You know that this day iscoming, but it's also something
(02:45):
you never truly prepare for andbefore you know it, it's
graduation time.
Maybe it happened already,maybe it's happening here in the
early part of June, and then,all of a sudden, the summer
flies by.
I don't want to worry you, itdoes fly by and that kid of
yours is off to college or offto work, or perhaps they're
going into the military.
If they're doing that, thankyou for their service.
(03:05):
But you know what the change?
This change this time in life?
It's inevitable, especiallyduring the empty nest years.
Change happens frequently, butwhat you didn't fully understand
was the weight of the emotionsyou are experiencing.
It's like we spend so much timefocused on raising our kids
that when they finally fly thecoop, we're left wondering okay,
(03:29):
now what?
Listen, it's completely normalto feel a sense of loss, a loss
of purpose, or even a little bitlost yourself.
Your identity has been sowrapped up in being a parent for
so long.
It's natural to feel a littlebit unmoored from your anchor,
if you will, when the roleshifts.
(03:50):
So how do you navigate thisinevitable pivot?
Well, the first thing, it'simportant to acknowledge that
change is happening.
Whether you want to or not,change is happening.
As much as you don't want it tohappen, as much as you feel
like you haven't taught yourkiddo everything that they need
to know.
A big change is coming in yourlife.
So don't try to resist it orpretend that it's not there.
(04:13):
I recommend embracing it.
I know that sounds a littlescary, but try embracing it,
looking at it as it's anopportunity for growth.
And you may hear that from alot of people and you're like I
need to grieve now and you do.
You need to grieve the loss ofwhat was this house that's full
of energy and perhaps you werethe house where all the kids
(04:34):
went to and it was vibrant andalive.
And it may be that way thissummer a little bit.
Or it may be that your kids arepulling away and they're going
to other people's houses andthat's all part of the normal
process.
But I want you to think of thisas a new journey, especially
when you get into the fall.
But start thinking about thatnow.
Don't hold on so tightly thatyou can't see the new journey
(04:55):
that you're about to embark on.
Sure, absolutely.
You're still a parent.
You'll always be mom or dad.
You'll always be their parent,for that matter.
But you'll quickly become moreof an advisor than a daily
teacher or keeper of thelogistics of their lives.
This pivotal moment it'shappening.
Logistics of their lives.
(05:18):
This pivotal moment it'shappening and the more you fight
it, the more you resist it, themore you desire or wish you
could have a little more time,the harder the transition will
be Now.
I wish I had been more preparedfor this time.
When my kids launched and my sonhad graduated college the year
before my daughter, and then mydaughter was getting ready to
graduate this was all in thespring of 2022.
(05:39):
And in one week we moved bothof them into their adult
apartments.
And my daughter moved in themonth before she was to graduate
so that she could get ready tospring and launch.
And then my son had spent alittle bit of time living with
us after graduation and found ajob.
And then he, a week later, wemoved into his first apartment,
his first adult apartment.
(06:00):
They were both getting ready tojoin the workforce.
And then, in an instant, justlike that, my job as Mr
Logistics, done over nada,complete nothing.
And when you layer into thatequation that my wife and I had
just moved 10 months earlier toa new place for my wife's work
there was a promotion therethere was this overwhelming
(06:22):
sense of what the heck do I donow Like?
Who am I?
Who am I if I'm not taking careof everyone in my family?
That was my role, right Makingsure everybody had to be where
they were supposed to be doinglaundry and taking care of all
of the meals and lunches andcarpools and everything like
that.
But all of a sudden it juststopped, even though the kids
(06:43):
were kind of living with us, butnot, it just stopped.
The question was like what ismy life supposed to look like
right now?
So many frigging questions, somany frigging questions Right
now.
I imagine you're probably stuckbetween thinking okay, jay, it's
easier said than done toprepare for this time in life
and totally feel that pain.
(07:07):
And you're right, as humans,change is very hard.
What I like to say is thatthere's always a challenge
involved when there's a change.
But I also like to think of ita little bit differently, like
there's actually change in anychallenge we face.
So do me a favor, grab a pieceof paper and a pen, not if
you're driving, if you're doingsomething that requires other
(07:28):
attention.
Don't do this, but try andimagine it in your head.
So write down the wordchallenge C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-E
challenge.
Now circle the letters L-L-E inthe middle.
If you look closely, now thatL-L-E is circled, change C-H-A
(07:49):
and N-G-E surrounds the wordchallenge, but that's not what I
want you to focus on.
What I want you to focus on isin the middle, the heart of it.
If you will, it's the mostimportant piece, that L-L-E.
I want you to focus on that.
Can you see it?
And if you've written it down,obviously you can see it.
If you're driving, can youimagine the L-L-E right there?
This is your sign to let lifeevolve.
(08:22):
L-l-e, let life evolve.
L-l-e, let life evolve.
And as a parent, that is sohard because we want to control
so much.
We spend a lifetime ofcontrolling our kids, not in a
bad way, but just trying toteach them everything, to have
them organized, to prepare thepath for them, prepare them for
the path.
There's lots of differentthings that we do as parents,
but now it's time to let lifeevolve for them, prepare them
for the path.
There's lots of differentthings that we do as parents,
but now it's time to let lifeevolve.
Folks, that's my mantra.
It's my mantra for dealing withchange.
(08:42):
Let life evolve, embrace theunknown, be open to new
possibilities and trust thatyou're capable of handling
whatever comes your way.
I get it, I get it.
I get it, I get it.
As a parent, it might seem likethat's not quite possible, that
embracing this new phase inlife just isn't a reasonable
expectation.
I hear you.
(09:02):
I remember it.
I remember it, but, as Imentioned, my wife's new job
back in 2021 meant a very bigmove for us.
So, after spending 30 years ineducation, I was facing a career
pivot At the time.
After spending 30 years ineducation, I was facing a career
pivot.
At the time.
It was exciting, but it wasalso a little scary.
Okay, maybe it was a lot scary,but at times it's still scary.
(09:24):
For me, as an entrepreneur and anewly minted adventure seeker,
I guess that makes me anadventurepreneur.
Is that even a word,Adventurepreneur?
What isn't scary, though, isthat I get to help thousands of
people every day through my workas an Empty Nest coach, whether
they see my walks and talks onTikTok or Instagram, if they
read my blog or they join one ofmy masterclasses, or even if
(09:47):
they work with me directly,one-on-one.
I continue to make a differencein this world.
I did it when I was ineducation, I'm doing it now.
I get to teach and serve, and Iget to continue to learn and
grow myself.
Not going to lie, I'm in anenviable position, but at the
same time, it's still a littlescary.
That's life.
Life is always going to bescary, but what I want to
(10:08):
encourage you to think about isthat you can do things, even
when it's a little scary, evenif you're afraid.
You can be afraid and stillkick ass.
You can be afraid and still dothe hard thing.
You can be afraid and stillcontinue to move forward in your
life.
That's what this time is for.
This is what this emptinesslife is all about.
What I want you to remember,too, is that when you're feeling
(10:31):
overwhelmed by changeespecially for those who are new
to emptiness and this summer isgoing to be a little nutty take
a deep breath and remindyourself LLE, let life evolve.
Okay, so how do you actuallylet life evolve?
I came across an article inPsychology Today by Dr Stephanie
Sarkis that offers some greattips for coping with big changes
(10:51):
, and I wanted to share themwith you All right.
Number one acknowledge thatthings are changing.
Don't deny the change.
Accept it as reality.
Number two realize that evengood changes, like the kids
growing up and moving on, cancause stress.
Stress is a natural reaction tochange, whether it's positive
(11:13):
change or negative change.
Number three keep your regularschedule as much as possible,
especially during the hectictimes of the summer and moving
kids into school.
Maintain your routines toprovide a sense of stability and
normalcy.
If you don't have a routine,create one.
Try and anchor your morningsaround something, your
afternoons around something andyour evenings around something.
(11:35):
Next, try to eat as healthy aspossible.
It's natural reaction to stressto eat whatever's in front of
us, but it is important to limityour carbs and your sugar
during this time.
Trust me, it'll help.
Exercise, even just a shortwalk, can make a big difference
in your mood and energy levels.
Even a 10 or 15 minute walkaround the block.
(11:55):
If things are too stressful atthe house, if your kids aren't
listening to you, if they'repushing away, if they're trying
to cause this natural riftbetween you and them before
school starts and you need abreak nobody's listening to you,
you don't feel like you'rebeing heard.
Take a short break.
Take a walk.
Next, seek support.
Talk to friends, family, hire acoach.
Get in touch with your feelingsand your concerns.
(12:17):
Like I feel that that should benumber one on this list, not
buried towards the bottom.
Next, write down the positivesthat have come from the change.
Focus on the opportunities forgrowth and new experiences.
Spend five minutes writing whatis possible for you now that
the kids are leaving.
Think about that for a moment.
Spend five minutes writing downuntil your brain can't think of
(12:39):
anything else.
Next, get proactive.
Take charge of the situationand work preventatively to
overcome your challenges.
Don't just sit back.
Communicate with your family.
Ask everybody what's going on,ask what their expectations are
for the fall, when maybe theoldest is going off or maybe the
last one is going off.
Don't forget about the pets.
They are affected by thischange too.
(13:01):
I encourage you to vent, but toa point.
Vent to your support group, butdon't over-talk or over-think
the situation, and perhaps evenback away from social media.
Don't compare your life toothers' highlight reels.
So often it's easy to get stuckin reels on Instagram or
(13:23):
Facebook or TikToks.
Right Next thing you knowyou're three hours deep and
you're in the river of misery.
Perhaps back away from that fora little bit.
Another important topic in thistime, this transition, is your
relationships Relationships withyour partner or spouse, if you
have one.
Relationships with yoursiblings, if you have them.
Relationships with your kids,who are now going to be adulting
(13:45):
, because relationships often dochange during the empty nest
phase.
The dynamics with your partnermay shift as you rediscover each
other outside of parenting.
Your relationship with youradult children will evolve as
they become increasinglyindependent.
Remember, you become thispart-time parent now.
You won won't be with them 24-7.
(14:07):
You won't be in the know likeyou used to be in the know.
That's going to change.
Don't let it cause a rift.
Continue to open the lines ofcommunication, because it's
important to communicate openlywith your loved ones about your
feelings and your expectations.
Be patient too.
Be patient and understanding aseveryone adjusts to this new
normal.
(14:28):
Here's a little quick wellnessresource.
According to the Mayo Clinic,healthy relationships require
communication, respect andboundaries.
Make sure you're settinghealthy boundaries with your
adult children as they navigatetheir own lives.
So often we've spent a lot oftime being available to them,
(14:48):
being quick with an answer.
It's okay to say to your kidsthat's interesting, what are you
going to do about it?
It gets them to think, it getsthem to take responsibility and
that's okay to create thosesorts of boundaries.
One of the biggest challenges ofan empty nest is trying to find
new purpose.
Your kids are off exploring newthings.
(15:12):
This is your chance to explorelife as well.
You may often hear people sayget a hobby.
If you Google empty nestsyndrome, get a hobby is the
number one thing, but I don'tbelieve that is where you start,
because you don't replaceparenting full-time with a hobby
.
That's just not possible.
Now you may ultimately arriveat having hobbies and things you
(15:32):
like to do, but that's notwhere you start.
Empty nesting is a time torediscover yourself.
It's a time to create a lifethat's fulfilling and meaningful
outside of your children.
Start to explore what you mightfind interesting.
Add something to your daily,weekly or monthly routines as a
reminder.
Create a routine if you don'thave one, and then add things to
(15:54):
it.
According to Tony Robbins,passion can be ignited when you
feel a sense of contribution,growth and gratitude.
If you ask me, that sounds alot like parenting, so use that
as the starting point for whatcomes next for you.
Now Ask yourself what can Icontribute to now, how can I
continue to grow as a person andhow might I practice gratitude
(16:17):
with some regularity?
I also encourage you not to beafraid to step outside of your
comfort zone.
Try new things and see whatsparks your interest.
The emptiness years are a timeof significant change, and I
consider the emptiness yearsbetween the time your kids
launch and the time you or yourpartner or spouse retires.
(16:38):
That is the emptiness years tome, but there's also a time of
incredible opportunity here,with that significant change.
It's a chance to rediscoveryourself.
It's a chance to pursue newthings and it's an opportunity
to create a life that's trulyfulfilling for you.
It may have been incrediblyfulfilling to be a 24-7 parent,
(17:03):
from the time the kids were born, that very first day, until
they launched, but it doesn'tmean that you can't continue to
create a life that's fulfillingfor you.
Moving forward, don't wait.
Do not wait.
Start to do it now.
Don't wait for the kids tofinish college.
Don't wait for that engagement.
Don't wait for the wedding.
(17:23):
Don't wait for the grandbabies.
Don't wait for retirement.
Take advantage of life now.
That is what I want you toremember.
But most of all, here are threetakeaways from today's episode.
Acknowledge that change, keep aregular schedule and take care
of yourself, my friends.
But most importantly, it's okayto let life evolve.
(17:44):
Okay.
Thanks for tuning in to thisEmpty Nest Life this week.
I hope this episode hasinspired you to embrace the
change and create a life that'sfull of purpose and joy.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
And until next time, take care, my friends, Are you
ready to start living andenjoying your empty nest years?
If so, head over tojasonramsdencom and click work
with me to get the conversationstarted.
This Empty Nest Life is aproduction of Impact One Media
LLC.
All rights reserved.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com