105. Beyond Parenting: Six Strategies to Thrive in Your Next Chapter

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When your children leave home, your primary identity as a parent shifts—often leaving a sense of emptiness and questioning, "Who am I now?" According to research, nearly 80% of adults aged 50-64 feel dissatisfied with their sense of purpose, highlighting how challenging this transition can be. But what if this period is also an opportunity for a personal renaissance?

In this empowering episode, we explore how to transform the emotional turmoil of the empty nest into a fertile ground for growth and self-discovery. Instead of viewing this phase as an end, learn to see it as your "Me Era"—a deliberate season of rediscovery and renewal. We discuss six evidence-based strategies grounded in psychology research, including accepting discomfort, starting small, practicing mindfulness, visualizing your ideal future, shifting perspective on challenges, and building emotional resilience.

Whether you're approaching this change with trepidation or excitement, this episode offers compassionate, practical guidance to help you navigate the transition with patience, courage, and purpose. Growth may take time, but your most fulfilling years could be just ahead.

Highlights & Key Takeaways:

• Nearly 80% of adults 50-64 feel a loss of purpose after children leave home.
• This period can trigger anxiety or depression without intentional self-focus.
• Reframe the empty nest as your "Me Era"—a time to redirect energy inward.
• Embrace discomfort and fear as natural signals of growth; resilience increases when we lean into them.
• Six practical strategies: acceptance, small steps, mindfulness, visualization, perspective shifts, and resilience-building.
• Growth requires patience, compassion, and ongoing effort.
• Seeking support from community, friends, or professionals is a sign of strength and an essential part of the process.

Join us to discover how this transitional chapter can become your most enriching, meaningful, and joyful season yet. 

Your next great adventure begins with understanding and self-compassion.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
And if you're sitting there and saying, no way, I am
who I am, there's no chance forme to grow.
You can.
I've seen it time and timeagain.
And if you love who you are now, right now, great, how can you
make it better?
And if you're like the 80% ofpeople age 50 to 64 who are just
satisfied with their lives,even just a little bit, then

(00:20):
what are you going to do aboutit?
What are you going to do aboutit today?
What then?
What are you going to do aboutit?
What are you going to do aboutit today?

Speaker 2 (00:27):
What are you going to do about it?
Tomorrow, the next day?
Welcome to this Empty Nest Life.
Join Jay Ramsden as he leadsyou on a transformative journey
through the uncharted seas ofmidlife and empty nesting.
If you're ready to embark onthis new adventure and redefine
your future, you're in the rightplace.
Here's your host, the EmptyNest Coach, Jay Ramston.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Hey there, all you amazing Empty Nesters, and a big
shout out today to those soonto be Empty Nesters that are
tuning in.
I'm so glad you have found theshow.
This episode today isespecially for you and, honestly
, it's a little differentbecause I want to talk about
what's coming next.
But hold on to your hats, myfriends, because I'm coming in a
little hot today, not becauseI've got a crystal ball Nope,

(01:09):
that's not it but because I seesomething pretty common and I
want to shine a light on it foryou.
So where's all this coming from?
Well, lately I've been noticinga lot of comments and messages,
especially during graduationseason, about feelings of being
lost after the kids leave home.
And let me tell you, I get itBecause I've seen this with so

(01:32):
many clients and communitymembers.
It's the biggest thing thatcomes up when the kids prepare
to leave the nest.
Now, many of you, you'vededicated your lives to raising
your children.
No-transcript time.

(02:06):
You did something just for you.
When was the last time I didsomething just for me?
Am I still connected to theperson I was before I was a
parent?
Do I even know or remember whoI was before I became a parent?
Chances are probably not.
I became a parent.

(02:27):
Chances are probably not.
Here's something I discoveredand you might find it
interesting.
In 2017, the Pew Research Centerdid a study that found that
nearly 80% yes, 80, eight zeropercent of adults aged 50 to 64
report feeling somewhat or verydissatisfied with their sense of
purpose and fulfillment.
That's a pre-pandemic rate of80%.

(02:50):
I can only imagine that it'smaybe a little bit higher now,
given everything that we wentthrough with the pandemic, and
here's why that rate is so high.
Many of us, many of uspurposely delay our own passions
to prioritize our children'sneeds, which can lead to feeling
disconnected from our ownidentity.

(03:11):
Navigating major lifetransitions, such as the
children leaving home, oftenexperience increased levels of
anxiety and depressive symptomsif they don't have an
intentional self-focus orpurpose.

(03:33):
An intentional self-focus orpurpose.
Do you see where I'm going withtoday?
So I want you to know myemptiness.
Friends, you are not alone.
First of all, in feeling thisway, it's incredibly common to
feel a bit lost because most ofus weren't educated on how to
transition into this new phaseof life.
There just weren't any examplesfor us.

(03:54):
Now I want you to think aboutthis.
What if, instead of feelinglost, you looked at this as an
opportunity, an opportunity torediscover who you are, beyond
being a parent or a caregiver,to focus your energy back on
yourself.
Here's a thought what if thisseason is actually meant to be

(04:17):
your me era?
Okay, the idea of me time?
It's more than just a phrase.
Me time is more than just aphrase.
You might be thinking great.
Easier said than done, jay, Iget it.
I get it.
Starting something new can beintimidating, but it's also
essential.
Let's talk for a minute abouthow you start shifting your

(04:39):
perspective and your energy.
First, reframe your fear anddiscomfort, because that feeling
in your stomach, right there inthe pit of your stomach, when
you start thinking about changes, that's just your brain
signaling hey, I'm stepping outof my comfort zone here.
And growth like real growth,that happens just beyond that

(05:01):
zone.
Studies from Harvard BusinessSchool show that embracing
discomfort actually makes usmore resilient.
It makes us more creative andconfident.
So leaning into that unease isa good sign.
It means you're actually on theedge of growth.
So what can you do to moveforward?

(05:22):
Here are six strategies for thisweek.
They're simple and they'redoable and they're powerful.
If you're at home and you got apen and paper, write it down,
press pause as many times as youneed If you're driving.
Come back to this episode,please.
Here are six strategies to getcomfortable with being
uncomfortable.
Number one acceptance.
Recognize that discomfort ispart of the process.

(05:43):
You know this, inherently.
You know this.
But when emotions come up,whether they're that sadness or
fear or guilt, acknowledge them,acknowledge them without
judgment.
And here's a reflectivequestion for you what feelings
are you willing to accept aspart of this transition?

(06:03):
Number two start small.
Big changes happen little bylittle.
Maybe it's dedicating 10minutes a day just for yourself
reading or walking or meditating, or something else just for
yourself, reading or walking ormeditating or something else.
But start small.

(06:23):
And here's your reflectivequestion for starting small
what's one small thing you cando today that makes you feel
alive and authentic?
And if you find it hard to kindof zone in on what alive and
authentic means, spend a littletime figuring out what that
means for you as part ofstarting small.
Number three practicemindfulness and breathing.

(06:46):
A few deep breaths or a shortmeditation can center you and
reduce anxiety.
I know this to be true.
I know that people talk aboutthis all the time, with
mindfulness and gratitude andbreathing, but it's built on
science.
It does work.
So think about this all thetime, with mindfulness and
gratitude and breathing.
But it's built on science.
It does work.
So think about this.
How do you feel right now?

(07:06):
Can you pause and just breathefor a moment?
Here's why research shows thatmindfulness practices like
meditation significantlydecrease feelings of stress and
improve emotional regulation.
A 2022 review in Frontiers inPsychology found that consistent

(07:29):
mindfulness, a consistentmindfulness practice, leads to
lower levels of anxiety anddepression, especially in adults
who are facing significant lifetransitions.
And the empty nest, whether youwant to believe it or not, is a
significant life transition.

(07:50):
Okay, number four visualize whatsuccess looks like.
Imagine yourself embracing thisnew chapter.
Imagine yourself feelingconfident, joyful and purposeful
.
Visualization isn't justwishful thinking, my friends.
Again, I'm going to go to thescience.
Science shows it can prime yourbrain for success.

(08:11):
A study published inPsychological Science found that
visualization techniquesimproves performance and
confidence in real-world tasks.
Imagine what your life.
Visualize what your life isgoing to look like tomorrow, the
next day, the next month, thenext year.
Ask yourself what does my ideal, me era look like?

(08:33):
What passions or activitieslight you up?
Right now, maybe there are nopassions or activities that
light you up right now.
But that's no passions oractivities that light you up
right now.
But that's the goal is to findwhat that looks like.
First, you got to deal with thefeelings.
Go back to step one, all right.
Step five shift yourperspective Instead of viewing
this transition as a loss and itis a loss.

(08:55):
I don't want to minimize that atall.
It's a loss of energy in thehome.
It's a loss of how a dailyroutine works.
It's a change.
I want you to see it as anopportunity, though.
Challenges are lessons indisguise.
We talked about challenges alittle bit last week.
They're lessons in disguise.
When you reframe setbacks asgrowth opportunities, you open

(09:17):
the door to resilience.
Growth opportunities.
You open the door to resilienceAgain.
Research from positivepsychology suggests that a mind
shift viewing optic obstacles asopportunities enhances well
being and Excel accelerates yourpersonal growth.
And if there's anything that Ibelieve in, it's developing and
continuing to develop personalgrowth in your empty nest years.

(09:40):
Okay, here's a reflectivequestion for this one.
How can I reframe my currentchallenges to see them as
stepping stones?
Your kids are off taking thatnext step.
Do the same for yourself.
Number six build resilience.
Resilience isn't about neverfailing, never falling, never

(10:23):
tripping up on yourself.
It's about bouncing backstronger each time.
I want you to embrace thesetbacks as part of the process.
The more you practice we hearthis all the time the more you
practice, the sturdier emotionalmuscles become.
Yes, emotional muscles.
A lot of what happens here inthe work that I do with folks is
building mental wealth.
We talk about physical health.
We talk about physical wealth.
We talk about financial wealth.
Let's get into mental wealth aswell.
Research from the AmericanPsychology Association
highlights that resilience isassociated with better mental

(10:44):
health outcomes during lifetransitions.
And again, we know yes, jay,emptiness is a life transition,
and a pretty big one.
Okay, here's a reflectivequestion for this.
What's a recent challenge otherthan the transition from going
into empty nesting?
What's a recent challenge?
You turned into an opportunityand how did you grow?
So here's what I want you tohold on to this week.

(11:09):
You are at a powerful turningpoint, a pivotal time in your
life.
Feelings of uncertainty arenatural, but they can also be
your invitation to take a lookinside and see how you want to
grow as a person.
This is the time for that.
Your emptiness years are a timeto grow as a person.
And if you're sitting there andsaying, no way, I am who I am,

(11:30):
there's no chance for me to grow.
You can I've seen it time andtime again.
And if you love who you are now, right now, great.
How can you make it better?
And if you're like the 80% ofpeople age 50 to 64 who are just
satisfied with their lives,even just a little bit, then
what are you going to do aboutit?
What are you going to do aboutit today?

(11:51):
What are you going to do aboutit tomorrow, the next day?
Remember, growth takes patience, it takes compassion and it
takes consistent effort.
And the consistent effort iswhere a lot of people get
tripped up, but also thepatience and compassion in your
own life for yourself is anotherplace people get tripped up.

(12:13):
But again, the most importantthing is to start small and to
celebrate each step.
And here's a little secret themore you lean into discomfort,
knowing it's a sign you'removing forward, the easier it
becomes.
Now, if you're wondering wherethe heck to get started, or if
you'd like some personalizedguidance, I've got something

(12:35):
just for you.
I created a masterclass calledyour Me Era and it's designed
specifically for men and womenlike you who already discover
their purpose and embrace thisnew chapter.
Embrace it fully.
That's the goal Now, this yourMe Era.
It's just a laid-back,practical and focused on helping
you build resilience.

(12:55):
It helps you find passions andcreate your next best chapter,
and it's all built inside of acommunity.
You can check it out atthisemptinesslifecom under the
masterclasses tab.
There is no pressure, it's justa resource when you're ready.
All right, my friends, justanother reminder.
You don't have to go this alone.
It's okay to ask for help.
It's okay to lean on acommunity or to seek support,

(13:16):
whether that's through self-carefriends or professionals.
Lean on a community or to seeksupport, whether that's through
self-care friends orprofessionals.
Every small step you take,every new perspective you adopt
that brings you closer tothriving in your me era.
Okay, thanks for listening.
And remember this is your time.
Embrace it, grow into it andown it.
And until next time, take careof yourselves and know you're
capable of incredible things.
And now is the time to takecare of yourselves and know

(13:38):
you're capable of incrediblethings and now is the time to do
them.
We'll see you next week.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Are you ready to start living and enjoying your
empty nest years?
If so, head over tojasonramsdencom and click work
with me to get the conversationstarted.
This Empty Nest Life is aproduction of Impact One Media
LLC.
All rights reserved.