106. You're Not Just a Parent - It's Time to Rediscover Who You Truly Are

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Feeling lost now that your nest has emptied? 

You’re not alone—but that silence in your home doesn’t have to be the end of your story. Instead, it can be the opening note to your most authentic chapter yet. 

In this transformative episode, we explore how major life changes—like empty nesting, career shifts, or personal reinvention—are rooted in who we want to become, not just how we’ll do it. 

Through relatable stories like Lisa, who questioned if binge-watching Netflix was her new purpose, and John, who believed he was “too old to start over,” we see how the stories we tell ourselves shape our experiences during these shifts.

What makes this approach different? It’s all about doing the inner work first. Before rushing into activities or projects, we examine the beliefs, fears, and identities that might be keeping us stuck. Guided by Carol Dweck’s research on mindset, we learn to shift from a fixed mindset (“I’m only a parent”) to a growth mindset (“Who can I become now?”).

You’ll get practical prompts to uncover limiting beliefs, embrace vulnerability as your strength, and celebrate small wins that propel you forward. Rediscover passions you shelved, and open the door to unexpected joy and purpose.

Remember George Eliot’s words: "It’s never too late to be what you might have been." Whether you’re navigating an empty nest or other life transitions, this episode will help you move from simply watching life unfold to actively directing your next chapter.

Download the free companion guide at bit.ly/whobeforehow and start your journey of rediscovery today. Your best self is waiting—are you ready to meet them?

Key Highlights & Takeaways:

• True transformation begins within—your beliefs, identity, and emotions set the foundation.
• Your emotional reactions are messages revealing the stories you tell yourself.
• Adopting a growth mindset opens doors to new possibilities.
• Vulnerability is essential—acknowledging fears creates space for growth.
• Small, intentional actions can lead to profound mindset shifts.
• Focus on the "who" before the "how" to build a sustainable, authentic future.
• Reinvention is accessible—anyone willing to believe in their potential.

Take the first step toward your next chapter—download the worksheet and start redefining your story today!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Remember, too, that reinvention isn't just for
special people, it's for anyonewilling to believe in
possibility.
And I truly believe in whatGeorge Eliot said it's never too
late to be what you might havebeen.
So if you're thinking, well,it's too late for me, remind
yourself that it's never toolate, ever.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Welcome to this Empty Nest Life.
Join Jay Ramsden as he leadsyou on a transformative journey
through the uncharted seas ofmidlife and empty nesting.
If you're ready to embark onthis new adventure and redefine
your future, you're in the rightplace.
Here's your host, the EmptyNest Coach, Jay Ramsden.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Hey there, my Empty Nest.
Friends, today we're going toexplore how to navigate life's
big transitions, and if you'realready empty nesting, you know
it's a huge life transition.
With a dash of mindset, ahandful of courage and a whole
lot of reinvention, we might beable to change that for you.
Here's a simple but powerfulidea I want to share with you

(01:06):
today.
Life transitions require us tofocus on the who before the how.
I know, I know what does thateven mean, right?
Well, it's how we go aboutworking on understanding
ourselves first, our beliefs,our identity, our emotions, so
we can move forward with someclarity and confidence in this
next chapter of our lives.
With some clarity andconfidence in this next chapter

(01:27):
of our lives.
Whether you're facing an emptynest, a divorce, a new job or
any other life change, today'sepisode is designed to remind
you that real transformation,real transformation starts from
within.
You can't look externally, notfor validation or help or
support, because the truth islife doesn't pause for us to get
our act together.
It pushes us to grow into newchapters of ourselves, new

(01:51):
versions of ourselves, if we'rewilling to do the inner work.
So let's explore how to do justthat.
You ready?
Let's go.
So in this first step.
We're going to start with astory, maybe something that's
relatable.
I want you to meet Lisa.
She's in her mid-40s, a motherof three whose kids just left

(02:12):
for college, and suddenly herhouse feels empty, seriously
silent.
She finds herselfbinge-watching Netflix, thinking
this this is what my life hasbecome Now.
Lisa's feelings are common.
She's experiencing a huge mixof emotions grief and guilt,
fear, maybe even a little bit ofexcitement, like starting a

(02:35):
brand new chapter, but alsofeeling a little unsure of what
that looks like for her.
Does that sound familiar?
It just might be exactly whatyou've been experiencing, or
perhaps what you might beexperiencing this fall if you're
a new empty nester.
If so, let's take a moment topause for some reflection.
What emotions are youexperiencing as you face your

(02:57):
own transition?
Take a moment to consider.
How does it feel inside of you?
What stories are you tellingyourself about this change?
I know from my own experienceand journey that we can tell
some pretty whopping storiesabout the changes we face in
life, and so often it's not true, but rather the thoughts we're

(03:17):
thinking about the change.
Here's some insight.
Our emotional reactions aremessages from our inner world.
They tell us what our storieswe're holding on to.
Now ask yourself what storiesare you telling yourself that
may be limiting yourself rightnow.
For Lisa it was probably hey,I'm lost without my kids, or I'm

(03:40):
just a part-time mom now.
But here's the key your mindsettotally shapes your experience.
Carol Dweck reminds us that afixed mindset keeps us stuck in
the story of well, I'm only this, while a growth mindset well
that opens the door topossibility, asking who can I

(04:00):
become in this next chapter andsometimes humor helps.
Lisa may joke maybe I shouldstart a Netflix series called
who Am I Now?
And that's a pretty light wayto acknowledge her feelings.
But underneath she's askingherself the big question who am
I now, beyond this role ofparent?
So we start to look at the who,and here's the real secret.

(04:25):
Before you move outward intowhat to do next, you need to do
the inner work.
You need to do your who work.
Now imagine john.
He's in his late 50s, he'snewly laid off his story I'm too
old to start over and he'sconvinced maybe his best days
are behind him.
What stories would John beholding on to?

(04:45):
What stories are you holding onto that may be keeping you
stuck?
Write down or think about thosebeliefs and how they're shaping
your current experience.
Are they true?
Or are they just stories you'vebeen telling yourself, says you

(05:10):
know, let them see you brave.
This teaches us that small,deliberate actions, like Mel's
five-second rule, candramatically shift your mindset.
Instead of saying in the ideaof I can't, john could start
saying maybe I can try.
So ask yourself what's one smallstep you can take today to feel
more in control of your ownstory.
It could be making a phone callor journaling a new belief or
simply saying I'm capable ofchange.

(05:30):
You know, henry Ford saidwhether you think you can or you
think you can't, you're right.
And here's the key you have tobe vulnerable in this journey.
John admits you know I'm scaredto fail, but he still pushes
forward, and that honestacknowledgement is what makes
his growth possible.
It's what will make your growthpossible as well.

(05:51):
And let's remember, as much aswe focus on the what, the who
must come first, because amindset rooted in possibility
turns every failure into lessons.
Sometimes, sometimes, we jokeabout being Netflix connoisseurs
during tough times.
I know I do, and that's okay.
But if you're ready to step intoa new story, one where you are

(06:14):
the main character, here's spaceto start thinking about what
your next move might be.
Think of it as upgrading frombinge watcher to the director of
your own life movie.
What would your lifetime moviebe?
There's possibilities here.
There's possibilities forreinvention, of course.
Once you've done the emotionaland mindset work, the who worked

(06:35):
it's time to explore theexciting what's next, the
reinvention part.
So meet Susan.
Susan is in her late 50s.
She's recently divorced, herkids are grown and her days,
well, they felt like a quietroutine that she no longer
wanted to hold on to.
Instead of dwelling on what shelost, susan decided to pursue a

(06:56):
passion she had shelved yearsago painting.
She bought a few supplies, sheexperimented with watercolors,
shared her work online andentered into a local art show.
Colors, shared her work onlineand entered into a local art
show.
Her story Well, she'sreinventing herself, discovering
new talents, new passions and anew identity.

(07:16):
Now take a moment to pause andreflect on your own journey.
What new passions or interestsmight you want to emerge?
Even a small step scheduling 10minutes a day to explore can
set you on a whole new path.
Even a small step scheduling 10minutes a day to explore can
set you on a whole new path.
In fact, setting tiny,achievable goals makes
reinvention manageable.
I believe celebrating progress,not perfection, is super

(07:36):
important.
If you want to listen more onthat, go to listen to episode 13
.
It's called Progress, notPerfection.
You can learn a lot there.
Remember, too, that reinventionisn't just for special people.
It's for anyone willing tobelieve in possibility.
And I truly believe in whatGeorge Eliot said it's never too
late to be what you might havebeen.

(07:57):
So if you're thinking, well,it's too late for me, remind
yourself that it's never toolate, ever.
So today I want to invite youinto some action.
I want to leave you with twovery powerful items.
The first is a question who doI want to be in this new chapter
?
And here are some prompts tohelp you work that out.

(08:18):
What beliefs about yourself mayno longer serve you?
What beliefs or stories are youready to rewrite?
What small, brave step can youtake towards this new person in
this new chapter in life?
And what's one thing you can dotoday that aligns with the

(08:41):
person you want to become?
Remember, change begins fromwithin.
When you focus on the whobefore the how, it becomes
clearer, more natural, moreachievable.
And if you're feeling a littleoverwhelmed, that's a really
good sign, because growth startsat the edge of our comfort
zones.
Second, I've created a freedownloadable for you to help

(09:03):
with this episode.
You can grab it from bitlyforward slash who before how?
So, as we wrap up today'sepisode, I want you to hold on
to this.
Your transition, whatever itmay be, is the perfect
opportunity to reinvent yourself, to rediscover the parts of you
that have been waiting to comealive.
Focus first on the who, yourbeliefs, your identity, your

(09:27):
story and the how well that'llstart to fall into place.
And remember the mind iseverything, what you think.
You become Buddha.
Thanks for spending some timewith me today.
I hope you leave here feelingmaybe a little inspired and
equipped and ready to take thatnext brave step.
And until next time, keepmoving forward, because your

(09:49):
best self is waiting just on theother side of this transition.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Are you ready to start living and enjoying your
empty nest years?
If so, head over tojasonramsdencom and click work
with me to get the conversationstarted.
This Empty Nest Life is aproduction of Impact.
One Media LLC.
All rights reserved.