33. Chase the Whisper with Laura Cariello

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How do you know when to pivot? Do you listen to other people or trust your gut? For many we allow outside influences to affect our lives to the point where it affects us in a negative way. Instead, why not focus on what you can do each and every day -- consistently doing all the little things in life -- to “Win the Day.”

In today’s episode, host Jason Ramsden has a conversation with Laura Cariello -- an MS Warrior who is telling her story one candle at a time. Laura has been living, scratch that, thriving in life despite being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis over 20 years ago and in today’s conversation she shares what Follow the Whisper means and how her life has T.A.D.ed -- transformed after diagnosis.

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inner voice that whisper that'stelling you something is right,
telling you to try it, tellingyou to move in the direction.

Jason Ramsden (00:27):
Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden and I believe we can all
work on leading a more positiveand intentional life. And this
show details my journey bysharing my learning stories and
conversations with guests. Ifyou want to lead a more
intentional life, focus on beingthe best you possible. Please
subscribe today. Now, let's getinto today's episode. Hello, my
positivity posse today. I'mexcited to bring you what I hope

(00:49):
is the first of many guestinterviews here on positivity on
fire. My guest today is LauraCarrie yellow was currently the
assistant director of EMRproject management for New York
City Health and Hospitals andsomeone who is just brimming
with positivity. I firstconnected with Laura on Tick
Tock where she is an advocatefor those living with multiple
sclerosis. Laura has lived withMs for the past 20 years and

(01:13):
believes on what he calls Tad'stransformation after diagnosis.
Her story of going from barelybeing able to walk, becoming a
crossfitter and Spartan Racewarrior is inspiration. I
enjoyed our time together andhope you enjoy our conversation
about chasing the whisper.
Without further ado, let's getinto today's episode. I mean,

(01:33):
Laura, I'm super excited.
Because you are a little bit ofan inspiration for me like when
I think it's going on like closeto a year where I found you on
tik tok like found lots ofpeople who are super positive
which is great about it. But Iwould like for you to kind of
introduce yourself to theaudience a little bit and then

(01:53):
if you would share your lifemotto with me.

Laura Cariello (01:56):
Hi everyone, my name is Laura Cariello and yes,
we connected on tik tok. I'mreally an advocate there for
people living their best livesand dreams despite disease and
chronic illness. I was diagnosedwith multiple sclerosis 20 years

(02:18):
ago, August 25, I think so it'salmost exactly 20 years. And
it's been a roller coaster ofdisability. Whereas I went
through my 20s and 30s now in my40s living with this disease and
really my personal motto hasbeen to keep moving forward and

(02:42):
really becoming relentless. Youknow, I choose and we'll get
into it. But Ms doesn't take anydays off. So neither do I. I
love that, oh, we started reallysmall. And we got to where we
are. For me it was reallystruggling to walk. And then pre

(03:03):
COVID getting into triathlonsand Spartans and CrossFit and
changing my body.

Jason Ramsden (03:09):
Absolutely love it like the relentlessness I
really love. Because when if Ihappen to be mindlessly
scrolling Tick tock, which iswhy we all get kind of stuck in
that is that, you know,sometimes you'll pop up on the
feed. Yeah, I complain that myknee hurt today and I couldn't
go out for a walk. What the heckam I doing? Like, here's Laura,
who's like triumphing overeverything that you have going

(03:31):
on in your life. What I wantedto talk about a little bit I
don't know if you know that wehave something in common
recently in the month of June.
Okay, is that was moved. And youdid a video on Tick tock, we
talked about a fresh start andchasing the whisper. Could you
tell me more about I love thatphrase

Laura Cariello (03:52):
Tell me Of course. And I have lived by the
whisper verse, the noise forabout six years now. And the
best way to break it down is thewhisper is really your inner
compass. You're your guide thatinner voice that whisper that's

(04:14):
telling you something is right,telling you to try it telling
you to move in the direction andthen the noise. That's when you
have all of the excuses people'sopinions, different mindsets and
for me I know well and all ofthe excuses especially growing
up and living with a chronicillness and Ms. I have every

(04:38):
excuse in the book what sixseven years ago to have not
gotten out of bed and sometimesthat's exactly what happened and
you have to chase that whisperso when I was in the I'm I work
for in New York City and we hadthe opportunity because of COVID
to work remote and When I gotnotification that my work would

(05:03):
be full time remote, it was thatopportunity. And I heard that
whisper, I knew where I neededto be. And that was closer to
the beach and the ocean and itwasn't going to be easy. And
there were a lot of things goingon. And I have to manage stress.
But that whisper became thepriority. And two months later,

(05:26):
the dust is settling, and Icouldn't be happier.

Jason Ramsden (05:30):
Well, you look at I can see listeners can see on
your Thank you. And and samehere we my wife got a great new
job. It's amazing. We lived inNorth Carolina for 18 years, and
moved to Massachusetts. Andwe're both from the northeast
originally. So moving to NorthCarolina was to raise the kids
and we're near the water. Andthere's just something when you

(05:51):
wake up in the morning and hearseagulls. There's just there's
something about that. Yeah,

Laura Cariello (05:55):
it's it speaks to the whisper it I did that
with a career about 10 years agoas well. I was laid off from a
really cool job. And I thoughtit was the end of end all be all
right. I was laid off. I had mycondo, my mortgage, I had to

(06:16):
foreclose claim bankruptcy, Iwent back with my parents. And
in a really low point when Msdecided to rear its ugly face
and disease started to progress.
I applied to a competitiveteaching program because it was
the whisper and I always wantedto teach. So I got to accept
long story short, I got acceptedbecause I listened to the

(06:41):
whisper and I blocked out thenoise. Teachers don't get paid
enough teachers don't bit andall of that noise about
teaching. I blocked it out wentwith the whisper. And I was
like, Well, what am I going tolose? I don't have a job anyway.
You know, and unfortunately, Idid make a decision to leave the
classroom and then startedteaching executive leadership to

(07:03):
executives. And then I got it. Iwas in healthcare and it and
it's been a winding road. verypurposeful, very amazing. But I
always follow the whisperthrough all of it.

Jason Ramsden (07:19):
I love that. And I love that you had time and edu
ation. Mike, my wife has done tat. We both did it for 30 year
, he's still going on, giveme an opportunity to step away
rom it and do something new,guess chasing my whisper as wel
. Yes. And you mentioned soething about moving on t
teach leadership. There'so many things in the classro
m that lend itself deleted, beause I want to know if there's l

(07:42):
ke one you learned about the clssroom that lends itself to lead

Laura Cariello (07:46):
Everybody wants to be heard. If you are in
kindergarten, or you are runninga hospital,

Jason Ramsden (07:53):
I love that everybody wants to be heard,
which I think is a is a greatsegue because I think you talk
about that your body won't gowhere your mind won't take it.
Right is the whole Yes. YourTad's and so I'll let you talk a
little bit more about what youhad mentioned to me about ta D.
So tell me more about that.
Because I think that's, that'sfascinating.

Laura Cariello (08:17):
Of course, I believe that all of our journeys
on doing anything worthaccomplishing is going to start
in your head. Because, and andit really it's the misconception
is, a lot of people think thatit starts with motivation. And

(08:37):
it does not It starts withaction. And when something
starts with action, you justdon't wake up and do something
great. It's, it sucks. It'sreally uncomfortable, right? And
what you have to for me, I knowwhen I first started, and I
started waking up early, becauselook, we all have lives and

(09:01):
jobs, but I would not makeexcuses and I had to find a time
and that time was 5am. MyCrossFit class started at

5 (09:11):
30am. And I would give myself three seconds to put my feet on
the floor, whether I liked it ornot. And that starts in your
mind. So in three seconds, if myfeet were on the floor, then
maybe I would sit up if I satup, I would get changed because
I put my clothes out the nightbefore and it's breaking it down

(09:34):
so small when you first startdoing something that it has to
be in your mind. You have tobreak the habit because your
mind and your brain wants you tobe comfortable. Of course you're
in this comfortable bed, youknow, why do you want to wake up
and you have to trick your mindto letting those excuses come

(09:56):
in. So giving yourself threeseconds, which is not nearly
enough time for your brain togive it excuses to stay
comfortable. You go. And thenyou start with taking action
after you take action, themotivation comes because you
have all these small wins.

Jason Ramsden (10:14):
Right? I love that. So how do you do that?
Once it's in the winter of NewYork? How do you get up and get
out go and like when it'sfreezing cold outside,

Laura Cariello (10:24):
it goes back to no date, no days, it sucks. I
mean, it is it is notcomfortable. It's not easy. But
you want to know what having MSis an easy, life isn't easy. A
lot of things are uncomfortable.
My body wants to you know, mybrain wants to protect my body
and stay inside and warm. But Msisn't going to go away cuz it's

(10:49):
snowing, my health isn't goingaway because there's rain. And
of course, I have to considersafety. And I also have to
listen to my I have to listen tomy body more so than most
because it's just wireddifferently. But I don't make
excuses. And if I absolutelycannot do something for safety

(11:15):
or health, I find a differentway to accomplish it. But most
of the time I just go and it'snot fun. New York winter. Well,
I am at the beach now. But NewYork winters were never fun. I
was there six, seven years.

Jason Ramsden (11:32):
Yeah, I went to high school in New York. And so
you want to talk about trying toget out and have to go to school
when you really don't want to goto school anyway, right?

Laura Cariello (11:39):
Yeah, I would show up to a 5:30am CrossFit
class in the dead of winter. Andwe I would walk into a class
there would be, I don't know,maybe five or seven people
there. I don't think any of ussaid a word to one another until
halfway through. You just don'tdo it. And and it's it's because

(12:00):
it's not fun. It's not fun noreasy. But with you want anything
great, you're not going to signup for fun or easy. You're going
to sign up for the little, thelittle piece, the little feather
in your you know, without onesmall step. And if you just do a
lot of little thingsconsistently, like showing up

(12:23):
even if it's really cold anddark, those little things add up
to big goals.

Jason Ramsden (12:31):
I totally agree 100%. I tell my audience that
all the time I talked about likechunking things down. If you
have a really big goal, you gotto chunk it, you got to chunk it
until it's so small that youthink it's too small. And then
you can move forward with it.
You've done a lot your platformis is about kind of showing
people what it is to live withMS and kind of push through. How
did you get involved intriathlons and Spartan event?

(12:54):
What was the motivating factor?

Laura Cariello (12:59):
I started working out in my parents
remember, I had gone bankrupt,they move back home. So I
started working out to homeworkout videos because I was
embarrassed to go to a gym. AndI wound up walking into a gym
one day and it was reallyintimidating and scary. But I

(13:23):
just did it I I got the fear outof my mind. And I signed up and
I worked out in a corner for Idon't know, probably three
months and you know it. It'sthose little things that move me
forward. And when I startedthere, I was stepping. I

(13:43):
couldn't jump on. I don't know,I guess like a weight plate is
probably two inches, right? Icouldn't jump on it. So my coach
at the time was like, Well, canyou jump on the ground and I
couldn't jump at all. Mind you.
I see people jumping on 20 inchboxes, you know, and I can't, I
can't jump. So he drew a line inchalk and said step over that.

(14:08):
And I did in my little cornerand that's what I end from
stepping over a line. Then Istepped on a plate then I jumped
on a plate and eventually I didhit a 20 foot box. 20 foot 20
inch box jump. It took a longtime. But it was so worth it.

Jason Ramsden (14:32):
I love that one.
That's great. I think that's afantastic takeaway one step at a
time. And people say that allthe time. They talked about you
Well, you just have to take onestep at a time. And you
literally took one

Laura Cariello (14:45):
litter literally Yeah. You know something I live
by and you probably can't seeit. It's on the chalkboard. So
there's Andy for Sela I don'tknow if you guys have heard of
him or watch him or Follow him,I highly recommend I recommend
it. Andy for sell, I juststarted 75 hard, actually,

(15:08):
however, so back there on thechalkboard, it says win the day.
And he always says, win the day.
And when we have these hugefeats ahead of us, all I have to
do is win today, I just have towin today. And, you know, he
speaks about that a lot in thework he's doing and powering and

(15:29):
motivating others to just winentrepreneurship and other
things. And Tim Grover, he hasan old book, which is amazing,
relentless, and you find whatworks for you and the people who
speak to your whisper, and yousee what they're doing, and you
try and replicate it in your ownway. Of course, you know,

(15:50):
they're very strong. You don'thave to win the whole program,
you have to win today,

Jason Ramsden (16:00):
win win today.
Now, I'm glad that you pointedout because I did see it when
you popped on camera. And I wasgonna ask you about it. So Oh,
but I want to know, like, Whatdoes win the day mean to you in
any given day, what is when theday mean?

Laura Cariello (16:14):
It means looking at the next step ahead of me.
The day I'll sometimes breakdown the day into smaller when
the morning or when the aftereach little thing. Because when
you think about it as a whole,it's defeating when you think

(16:35):
about it as little pieces. Sowinning the day are all the
little pieces to the puzzle forthe day. And each day is that
one piece, whereas it'llcomplete the puzzle. But you
don't know what the puzzle is,when you first open the box.
It's just a bunch of mess. Andas you go and you win the day

(16:58):
and you win each piece of thatpuzzle, you put it in there, and
it starts to take shape andform. And then once you get
going, you're moving you havethe momentum, the motivation and
you can move forward. But in thebeginning, it's just the messy
box of cardboard

Jason Ramsden (17:15):
boxes like I love that that you say you just put
it together that's such a greatmetaphor with the puzzle. what's
what's what's the biggestmotivator in your life right now

Laura Cariello (17:24):
and to be better than I was yesterday. And, and
that's that consistency. Andevery single person that lives
with a challenge motivates me.
And I knew that that was true.
And I had a mother reach out tome and I had a mother reach out
to me on social media. And shesaid, You know, my daughter is

(17:49):
young and was diagnosed withmultiple sclerosis. And I
couldn't show her anything thatwasn't upsetting or scary. And I
came across your page, and Ifinally had a sigh of relief.
And I smiled and I said, I'll dothis for the rest of my days,
hands down. And every finishline that I cross every walk or

(18:11):
jog or workout I take all ofthat inspiration with me. And
that is what fuels my day. Andthat that means everything
everyone who reaches out to meon a daily basis. And it's a
scary to be diagnosed withanything that's life changing.

(18:32):
And when you stare death in yourmortality in the face, and you
have to really look at that andlook really close and take a
really good look. It's not anit's not an easy feat. And every
message I take with me everyday, and that motivates me to
just keep going.

Jason Ramsden (18:51):
So I'm a big believer in impact one or impact
1 million, there's nodifference. That's really kind
of how I've started to live mylife. No, you're positive. Like
if you just impact one person,if you make a difference in just
one person's life by what you'redoing. It makes everything else
worthwhile. It

Laura Cariello (19:11):
makes it absolutely, absolutely. And you
know what I've learned inspeaking about now, I kept MSS
secret for a very long time,probably almost 10 years. I
didn't talk about it. And thatweighed on me. I think it
actually was a disease as wellliving inside me not speaking

(19:33):
about it. And it just festeredin there. And I want to
encourage other people that itis okay to talk about it in a
safe space. And I tell anybody,if you don't have anybody to
talk to you absolutely canmessage me. I know what it's
like to feel different. And it'sfrustrating and challenging

(19:57):
because all you want is yourbody to work and it's really
Really waging a war againstitself, and you have no control
over it whatsoever.

Jason Ramsden (20:06):
If you could sum up like just in one sentence, a
wish that you had for yourfuture self, what would it be?

Laura Cariello (20:13):
That's a really good question, a wish for my
future self. keep taking action,do something, do something every
single day that moves in thedirection of your dreams every
day, whether you feel like it ornot, and what's your dream, My
dream is to inspire anyoneliving with them. anyone living

(20:37):
with a chronic illness, anyoneliving with a disease, anyone
who is trying to overcome achallenge having a hardship a
hard time, I want them to see myface and say, I have another
day, I have another minute inthe eye, I can do this dream, it
may not look like the samedream. But I can get it done.

(20:59):
And and I want my voice to be inthat ear in their ear saying
that they can do that. And thatwhisper is very real. I want to
be the world's whisper tocrushing their goals

Jason Ramsden (21:14):
of that. And that and the truth is or a year. It's
more than just for people withchronic illness. I know that's
Yeah, of course you come. Butyou motivate a lot of people who
don't have chronic illness toYeah, look themselves in the
mirror and say, What am I doinglike I should really be pushing
forward there have zero excuses,or has a ton. But she doesn't,

(21:38):
at all ever, and keeps movingforward each day.

Laura Cariello (21:41):
And not every day is positive. And not every
day is easy. And life isn'teasy, right? And I had a good
friend say to me not that longago. She said, Well, you're just
made different. I saidabsolutely not. No, I'm not. I'm
not I am not made any differentthan anybody out. It is such a

(22:01):
misconception. And what peoplesee right now is the successful
war. What I wish I could showwas the Laura on the couch. The
Laura, who had the foot brace,who still sometimes wears it,
the Laura, who was who lookedgray. And I wish I had that to

(22:29):
say, look, we are one in thesame. The only difference is
that I put my feet on the groundevery morning. That's it? What
if I if I told you, hey Jay, youcan completely changed your
entire life. If you put yourfeet on the ground every morning
when you didn't want to? wouldyou do it? Of course, what if

(22:52):
you could have a milliondollars, if you want a million
dollars, all you have to do isput your feet on the ground and
tie your shoelaces every morningfor six months, six months, give
it six months, would you putyour feet on the ground? And
when you think about it thatway, it is not that we're not
motivated to do it. We're makingexcuses for ourselves. And

(23:15):
that's the only difference.

Jason Ramsden (23:18):
I love that much.
What I think is is important andI'd love to like encourage you.
You said I wish people knew thelower when like a book to me. Oh
yeah, I could definitely write abook. But I'm waiting for that
book to come out. Because I doknow, because everybody does
like nobody's a successovernight. Nobody has achieved

(23:41):
whatever it is they've achievedwhat people see right now. It's
all their history. Right. So oneof the things I like to tell
people is who you are today isdefined by your past. What you
do today finds who you'll betomorrow. Yeah, though, I think
that well with your just takethe ones just take them. Yeah,

Laura Cariello (24:01):
just just take.
And it's funny, so many people,they want to know exactly how.
But my path is. So Ms isdifferent. My path is different.
It's in your mind, because everysingle person's body is
different. You have to think ofyour end goal, and I'm not going
to tell you how to do it. ButI'll help you paint a picture of

(24:23):
where you're going.

Jason Ramsden (24:27):
Destination may be the same but how we get there
for each of us of Yeah, totally,totally different. A lot o
us are coming out of COVID tellme what was the most defining m
ment in your life this pa

Laura Cariello (24:41):
I am very proud of my work. I am part of the New
York City Health and Hospitalsteam. And we worked through
COVID to ensure that you know wewere we were going and that was
us. Every time and the work thatwe did was pretty incredible.

(25:03):
And it was an incredible team.
And it was exhausting. And Ican't say that we were all rays
of sunshine. I mean, it was notthat, but I, that's the I'm
proud of that work. And thencoming out of that, coming out
of that work and going intostabilization, it was very

(25:24):
depressing for me COVIDhappened. And then I just
worked, I didn't reallyunderstand. I mean, I
understood, of course, I was apart of it every day. But you
were really in that reactivemode. And when the dust settled,
I was, it was pretty sad, youknow, and I took the time to

(25:47):
figure it out for myself. Andyou know, that also during that
period, I decided to go to thebeach. So you know, we have bad
days, sometimes we have badweeks, and we're sad or whatever
emotion and we have to feel thatemotion and let it run through

(26:08):
us and not keep it inside of usand and fester. And it's okay to
be sad. You just can't staythere for ever or too long. You
know, you have to have thesethings and feel them and then
get uncomfortable. I agree.

Jason Ramsden (26:31):
Probably one of my favorite audios that floats
around tic toc is that samething. And that basically tells
you it's okay to be sad. It'sokay to be down. But don't stay
there for too long. Get up. Andyeah,

Laura Cariello (26:42):
yeah. And if you notice that it is too long, seek
out people that support you. Andthey can help because sometimes
it's too much for us to helpourselves. And I recognize that
I completely recognize that. Andwhen it's too much for you to
help yourself, reach out. Andit's hard to do that. Because

(27:04):
when you're in the middle of it,you know, it's really hard. But
sometimes we can't do that forourselves, but we can seek to
others and the right people thatcan help us as well.

Jason Ramsden (27:16):
I think that's that's important. You can't
always go it alone. I have twokinds of closing questions for
you. One is to get to know you alittle bit better. So what's
what's something most peopledon't know about you?

Laura Cariello (27:29):
I was a teacher.
I have my I have my Master's inspecial ed. It was. It was my
graduate work. I loved it. And Idid it for about five years.

Jason Ramsden (27:41):
So it's definitely a passion and a
calling. Of course, you'retelling me this too. As we wrap
up, I always like to ask myguests to kind of finish with
this question. Happiness is amindset is a mind happiness is a
mindset, a state of mind of it.
Yeah. You don't live in New Yorkanymore. So you're not in the
New York state of mind.

Laura Cariello (28:02):
No, no, I needed the calm jersey beach state of
mind now. Now I have the oceansin the background.

Jason Ramsden (28:13):
And there's nothing like that sound. up in
the morning, Laura, this hasbeen fantastic. I really
appreciate you reaching out andcoming on the show. Where can
people find you online? Like ifthey want to connect with you
learn a little bit more aboutyour story. Where can they find
you?

Laura Cariello (28:29):
You can find me on tik tok and Instagram.
They're both the same handle.
It's at Laura underscore, Ms.
Strong So Laura underscore lauramsstrong. Laura and that strong

Jason Ramsden (28:44):
I love that. And for those listening, I'll
definitely put that into theshow notes that you all have it
you can find it easily. It hasbeen a pleasure talking. Thank
you for having me. Laura has anawesome outlook on life. And I
know I learned a lot from thisepisode myself. Here are my
three key takeaways. Otherpeople's opinions should not

(29:06):
affect your mindset to the pointof making excuses for yourself
to when getting up to tackle theday. If you only give yourself
three seconds with your feet onthe floor each morning, your
brain doesn't have a chance tomake excuses. And three, if you
want anything great in life,you're not going to sign up for
the fun or easy to have to dothe hard stuff, my friends, that

(29:29):
puts another episode ofpositivity and fire in the
books. thank you as always forbeing here today. Your gift of
time listening to the show doesmean the world to me. And as
always, please remember be wellbe happy be you until the next
time may your quest forpositivity begin today.

Laura Cariello (29:50):
When you have 20 years of disability and you've
done so much I wanted to focussome of my thoughts to really
Drive the message both of ourmessages.

Jason Ramsden (30:05):
For more on my positivity quest follow me at
underscore j y Ramsden onInstagram Tick Tock and Twitter.
If you like today's episode,please give us a five star
rating and review on yourfavorite podcast app or visit
chaser.com and search forpositivity on fire. Positivity
on fire is a production ofimpact one media LLC All rights

(30:27):
reserved.