92. Little Changes, Big Impact: Embracing Your Empty Nest Life

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Join us in this uplifting episode as we explore the transformative journey of empty nesting with our special guest, Jodi Silverman, founder of Moms Who Dare. This vital community is dedicated to supporting mothers as they redefine themselves after their children have left home. Together, we’ll navigate the emotional whirlwind that comes with this life transition and discover how to find joy through intentional changes.

Jodi shares her invaluable insights on stepping outside our comfort zones and how even small actions can lead to profound personal growth. She encourages us to rekindle old hobbies and build connections we may have sidelined—reminding us that it’s never too late to have fun and embrace life fully. Through community and shared experiences, we find strength and inspiration to thrive in this exciting new chapter.

Highlights:

• Insights into the emotional responses many face during the empty nest phase.
• The crucial role of community support for mothers navigating this transition.
• Practical tips for adjusting routines and embracing the empty nest.
• Stories of rediscovering passions and hobbies that bring joy.
• An encouraging approach to living life to its fullest.

Key Takeaways:

• Recognize and embrace the mix of emotions that come with children leaving home.
• Discover the importance of connecting with other moms for shared support.
• Implement small, intentional changes that lead to personal fulfillment.
• Understand that it's never too late to dive into hobbies and fun experiences.

Join us as we celebrate this thrilling chapter of life and encourage each other to rewrite our narratives! Don’t forget to subscribe and share this episode with anyone who might be navigating the journey of empty nesting.

Jodi Silverman Bio
Jodi Silverman helps women embarking on the empty nest and midlife transition rediscover who they are, outside of a mom, daughter, and partner. As a mentor and coach, Jodi provides community, tools, and strategies to increase resilience, find happiness, and discover purpose and FUN!
Jodi is your go-to gal for... navigating life's transitions, fostering meaningful connections and bringing the fun back into your life.

You can find Jodi online: LinkedIn, Instagram,

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Just little steps, littlechanges.
What can you do a little bitdifferently?
You know something you alwayslike to do that maybe you forgot
about.
And just writing a list, andjust little baby steps, and call
a friend to do it with you, sogood.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome to this Empty Nest Life.
Join Jay Ramsden as he leadsyou on a transformative journey
through the uncharted seas ofmidlife and empty nesting.
If you're ready to embark onthis new adventure and redefine
your future, you're in the rightplace.
Here's your host the Empty NestCoach, Jay Ramston, Jodi.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
Silverman, welcome to the show.
So excited Thanks for invitingme.
So excited to have you,especially because you have this
thing called Moms who Dare,which I love.
So tell me a little bit aboutthat, Moms who Dare.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Moms who Dare was established in 2016 as a
community local in my backyardto support empty nest moms, to
provide a platform and a spacefor moms just to get together
and dare to step out of ourcomfort zones and try new things
for ourselves.
As we launch our children tofigure out you know what's next
for us.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
Got it.
So you were like a mom who waslike I need community, Is that?

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Yeah, my community has been a big part of my life
since I was a kid.
I've always had, I've been veryfortunate.
I always have had communitydifferent communities too and I
just knew that if I had beenstepping out of my comfort zone
and reinventing myself while mykids were getting ready to leave
the nest and I was having fun,I was scared.

(01:33):
I was, you know, having fun,and I'm like you know what.
I want my friends, I want othermoms to experience this.
I don't want other moms to sitin bed and not be able to get
out of bed for days and weeks onend.
That there is life after ourkids leave home.
We're always their mom, and yetnow we get to focus on

(01:54):
ourselves, and that's what thedaring is.
So it became like, oh, we'regoing to be moms who dare.
We're going to dare to try newthings together and have a good
time.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
I love that.
It's like have fun, do itscared, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, do have fun, do it scared.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
I think that's what people right you know you do the
same kind of work I do.
It's like people get stuck inthis, like I'm not gonna, yeah,
I don't even know what to do,like I can't try something new.
So what made you do it?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Like, what was the impetus?
Were there, people around you.
You just had like a brilliantmoment One morning.
You needed somebody, like nineto 11 hours a week.
I'm like I'm in, I wanted toget out of my house and I was
sitting there.
It's a very quiet place and Irealized in that moment I
started thinking my daughter'sgraduating, my son's right
behind her, three years rightbehind her, and, you know, is
what I'm doing, what I want tobe doing?

(03:01):
And it was.
It literally was like a voiceinside of me.
It was, if I say like one moretime, it was hell, no, I was.
No, I don't want.
I was selling commercialprinting services, it was my own
business and I say, no, I don'twant to do.
This is not what I feel like Iwant to do, this is not
fulfilling anymore.
And in that quiet space, afterasking myself that question and

(03:26):
allowing it to land and reallysay, no, I want something
different for me.
This was not about not beinghappy in my relationship with my
husband, a great husband notbeing happy with my friends.
I had great friends.
It wasn't about anything else,Jay, other than what do?
I get to do now?
And just by asking thatquestion and answering it,

(03:48):
opportunities started presentingthemselves to me, and I don't
know that I would have beenopened to some of these
opportunities.
And one was a new businessopportunity in the network
marketing industry.
Some people know it as directsales or multi-level marketing.
I don't know that I would havebeen open to sitting down and
seeing what this business wasall about had I not had that
moment in the quiet space.

(04:08):
But I did.
I said yes, and anybody who'sever been in the direct sales
network marketing industry knowsthat along with that comes the
world of personal growth anddevelopment.
You are introduced to all thegood thought leaders, and that's
what really started it all.
I started daring to read reallygood books, you know, from Jim

(04:30):
Rohn and Darren Hardy and Thinkand Grow Rich all the good ones,
and then, more so, the more upto date thought leaders like
Brene Brown, and I mean who else?
There's so many of them, so many, and the books changed my life.
They changed the way I thoughtabout myself.
They changed the way I sawmyself.

(04:52):
It brought to light some fearsand doubt that I had, that I
didn't know, and while I wasdoing that, I was surrounded by
like-minded people and I juststarted saying yes to the
business, saying yes to speakingin front of people.
And one thing led to another andI just yeah, there's more to
life than just being a mom.

(05:13):
And here's the thing I alwayssay we're getting ready, we're
launching our children, we getthem out, we get them prepared
to brave new experiences, learnnew things and meet new people.
So let's do the same thing.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
Yes, right, there's run it in parallel.
I think people have a hard timethinking about that.
It's like you get so wrapped upin your kids' lives, your
identity becomes you know, theidentity of the mom or the dad
or whatever it is and the kidslaunch and you're like I forget
to be curious, right?

(05:47):
We lose ourselves right we loseourselves, yeah, you lose
yourselves.
100, yeah, and I think that'swhere people struggle is.
Like I don't even know likewhat the first step is.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
I was just start saying yes to stuff I, just
right before you hit record,right before we logged on to do
this, I started writing somenotes because everything that
I've been doing has beenfocusing.
It's as we're recording this.
It's the emptiness season, Icall it, and now it's.
How do you find the motivationto step out of your comfort zone

(06:17):
to try new things?

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Because you know the grief is real, the sadness is
real.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
When your kids leave home.
It hits everybody different ithits, I'm sure it hit.
Leave home it hits everybodydifferent it hits.
I'm sure it hit you differentlythan it hit your wife.
It hit me differently than ithit my husband.
And even though I speakspecifically about Moms who Dare
and talk about moms, I knowthat dads get sad as well, and a
lot of these women that jointhe Moms who Dare Facebook group

(06:43):
which, by the way, it's notjust local to my backyard
anymore.
There's over 2,500 women in theFacebook group- it's a good
thing.
Yeah, it's great.
How do you find the motivationto even do something?
Little baby steps, little babysteps, I would say.
My favorite place to start isjust change up one small thing
in your routine.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah, so what's one of those things that you've
changed up?

Speaker 1 (07:05):
Oh, the first one.
I had the hardest time betweenthe hours of three and seven and
more so.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
And my husband traveled a lot.
He doesn't travel as muchanymore.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
So starting at three in the afternoon, I would get
feel like unsettled.
I wouldn't know what to do withmyself or to put myself.
So I decided to step out of myenvironment.
Because at three o'clock iswhen either you were getting
ready to go to watch your kidsplay basketball or soccer, or
they would be coming home tochange before they had to go out

(07:40):
again to go to practice, ormaybe you were preparing for
dinner for everybody.
And that's the biggest timethat I struggled with I just I
was unsettled.
So I changed it up.
I decided, you know what one dayI thought I could go run my
errands.
Everybody's going to be cominghome from work, but I can go run
my errands so I could go to themarket.
I didn't have to go at seven inthe morning anymore, I could go

(08:02):
to three, four o'clock in theafternoon.
I could go to the mall and walkaround the mall.
I like window shopping.
I could go, maybe in the winter, put your walking shoes on and
go walking in the mall.
People go exercise walking inthe mall, but for me it was just
doing something different thanI normally would do during that
time and for me it was runningerrands or just enjoying myself

(08:24):
at the mall.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah, hint, folks there.
Like two to three is a greattime to go to the grocery store,
if you can.
So it's also like eight to ninein the morning during carpool,
whenever everybody else isdropping their kids off or
they're sending them on the bus,it's a great time to go.
Yeah, if you get to that point,just switch up that routine.
I literally was just havingconversations with somebody in
DMs about that specifically.

(08:45):
They were like, yeah, it's likefive o'clock, that's when they
would come home from whateverschool.
You know sports.
I'm like, yeah, you got to finda new routine.
What did you have in commonwith that kid Like, who was
always coming home that time?
Oh, we loved you know thiscertain thing to.
I'm great.
What could you build into thatnew routine for that one thing,
whatever it was.
I can't remember what they weretalking about.

(09:06):
It was like find a book on it,like maybe it was the history of
you know whatever baseball.
You guys both love baseball.
That was your thing.
Great, five o'clock, read abook about the history of
baseball.
Right, you still get to havethe same coming home right Time
frame, but just mix it up.
But it's such a great pointit's like flip the switch on

(09:27):
just one little thing.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
One little thing and it goes.
It goes the same if if yournest isn't completely empty, but
maybe your oldest just went offand now you're home with just
one or two other children.
The dynamics do change in thehouse Absolutely, and you know,
the personality of the housechanges.
And so when my daughter left,there's three years in school
difference between my daughterand my son and dinner time is

(09:50):
going to look a lot differentwith my son, with just myself
and him, when my husband wasn'thome and meaning it wasn't going
to be a very long dinner.
The two of us eat super fastand not like my daughter, he
doesn't just sit to talk rightboys are different.
So we came up with our newroutine.
I said let's do our team,because dinner time is very
important to me.

(10:10):
I'm like I still want to havedinner together.
You know, we how can we switchit up?
And we found a show on netflixthat we decided to watch
together.
So good, and so we took, wetook up the cart, you know the
folding tables, and we would eatdinner in front of the TV.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
And yes, we were Somebody said well, you're not
talking, Well, we did.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
We're watching a show together and then talk about
the show a little bit.
But we were there together, wewere in the same room, sharing a
meal, sharing an experiencetogether, and that was on his
terms because he was different.
Just like my daughter would sitand she would, she would refer
to talk with me, so you can dothat with the other children or
child that's left in the housewith you.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
Yeah, I love that and it's such a good point, Jodi is
, I think people always want torun the house Like they always
ran the house right and theroutines.
They expect the routines to bethe same.
But we forget to give our kidswho are still at home, 17, 18
year olds, or 16, 17,.
They want some agency right.
They want some control.
Ask them how they want it tooperate, Like what do you want

(11:10):
dinner to look?
Like, what do you need?
We just all right, let's justkeep rolling, because this is
what we've always done, asopposed to pausing and saying
how could it be different?
So I love that you bring thatup.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
You know, Jay, I love that you brought that whole
topic up, because I grew up.
I was born in the 60s.
I grew up in the 70s and 80s.
70s and 80s were my childhoodand teenage years.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
Welcome to Gen X.
Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
Gen X and you know what.
Sometimes we fall back into howwe were raised and that's our
belief system, and I wasn't.
I was raised by two lovingparents and step parents.
I love them all very much and,with that said, I didn't get to
weigh in on when I wanted tohave dinner.
I think there's a nice happymedium between getting buy-in

(11:57):
with your children, givingchoices not too many choices,
you know, only when you can.
But when it comes to setting anew routine, talk together.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
It's not just about us.
It's not just about what wewant.
It's not just about I want tosit at dinner.
I want to have dinner time withyou and I want to talk and I
want to hear all about your day.
You can't force a kid to dowhat they're not built to do.
Right, so I'm happy you said getbuy-in from your kids.
It's okay to get a thoughts andbuy-in and come to an equal

(12:29):
like a middle ground onexpectations and when you do
that together then they're goingto show up ready to to be
present in that moment with youit's going to be different.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Right, it's going to be a different vibe and you
talked about like the energychanges and it does change as
kids leave, right, and I thinkit's always good to remind
people too.
Is like when you get to thelast kid at home, remember
they're the last kid at home,because if you don't, then your
attention and your partner'sattention if you have one at
home all of a sudden is likeright on the last kid who's left

(13:02):
, and they feel the weight andpressure of that.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Yes, it's so true, so true.
That's funny, my son's, my sonsaid to my my husband, he said
something about you know, you'relooking forward to Ellie going
off to college and it'll just beyou.
He said no, cause mom'sattention is going to be all
focused on me and he was soworried about that.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
Yeah, he was like no, not going to happen, not going
to happen.
He's like no, not going tohappen, not going to happen.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
It's all about little changes, Jay right.
Just little steps, littlechanges.
What can you do a little bitdifferently?
You know something you alwayslike to do that maybe you forgot
about, and just writing a listand just little baby steps, and
call a friend to do it with you.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Yeah, so good, so good.
I'm curious.
So you, mom Sudear, I think yousaid 2016,.
So eight years now it's beengoing.
What is your biggest motivatorin life right now, either with
Moms who Dare or just in yourpersonal life?

Speaker 1 (13:53):
My biggest motivator in everything that you mean,
what I bring.
Yeah, what's your biggestmotivator?
It's knowing that I can make animpact in another person's life
.
I, when I go in, when I and Isay that because when I was in
my network marketing business, Iwas saying yes to going to
these conferences andmotivational speaking events and

(14:17):
I would sit there and I wouldhear different speakers, male,
female alike, and every event,every speaker said at least one
thing that I was like yeah, orthat's like yes, how they know,
I felt that way and it wouldchange something, shift
something in me, to have me stepout of my comfort zone, to to

(14:42):
release fear and to go forsomething and to be who I was
meant to be.
And I remember sitting one daysaying I want to do that, I want
to do that.
So my biggest motivator isbecause I do a lot of public
speaking.
I do it in person, I do itvirtually, I go live inside my
group all the time to my mom'sand my biggest motivator is if I

(15:02):
can share one thing that I'vedone, that I've learned, that
helped me navigate a lifetransition.
During this Empty Nest Midlifechapter that can help somebody
else pull the trigger on doingsomething really good for them.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yeah.
That's it Right, that's it,that's the best.
I think that's why we both dowhat we do.
Yeah Right, it's just gettingpeople to maybe think a little
bit differently, like you don'thave to make a huge, vast change
in your life, but just to thinka little bit differently.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
Yeah, so, with that like in your, since the kids
have launched for you likewhat's one of the most difficult
decisions you've ever made inyour emptiness life, made in
your emptiness life, god, one ofthe most difficult decisions in
my emptiness life I don't knowif it's necessarily a decision

(15:58):
or I think it's learning how topause before my now adult
children do something or don'tdo something.
That makes me feel sad.
So my kids right now are at 26and 29.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
They're adults living outside of my home.
They both live with their ones,with their fiance ones, with
their girlfriend, and the adultrelationship I love.
However, navigating what I callmidlife motherhood is is hard.
This is another part ofemptiness, and it's learning not
to react and saying why didn'tyou call me or why won't you

(16:30):
meet me for dinner I haven'tseen you in four weeks Pausing
and saying okay, recognize, I'mfeeling sad, I'm feeling hurt,
and how might I be able toapproach this so that I don't
put them on the defensive andmake them feel bad about it?

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Right.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
Versus.
It's like teetering on thatline of I don't want to make
them feel bad and guilty, but inthe same, and yet I get to have
feelings.
And if I'm missing my child,that's what I've come to realize
Like why am I feeling sad?

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Why I?

Speaker 1 (17:00):
miss.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
Ellie or I miss Daniel, so why don't I?

Speaker 1 (17:01):
just call and say hey .
I miss you when so why don't Ijust call and say hey, I miss
you when can we get together?

Speaker 3 (17:06):
Yeah right, rather than doing it inside, of just
letting it linger.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Yeah, and that's been a big challenge for me during
the empty nest years is taking abeat.
I call it taking a beat topause and really understand what
it is I'm feeling and what I'mabout to react to.
And is there a better way ofexplaining how I'm feeling than

(17:30):
just yelling?
And that's not easy?
There's a book about boundaries.
The author is Anne WeiserCornell and her first chapter.
That's where I learned thetechnique from to pause when
you're feeling something, anemotion.
This is such a great tool, sopay attention everybody.
And I'm feeling angry, I'mfeeling sad, I'm feeling

(17:51):
frustrated, and you pause andyou say to yourself okay, so
something in me feels frustrated.
All of a sudden, you justseparated yourself from the
emotion.
It's creating awareness.
So now I can say, okay,something.
And this is her practice, Ididn't make this up.
This is Anne Weiser Cornell.
She says something in me feelsfrustrated, and I'm going to say

(18:15):
hi to that.
And now it just changes thewhole feeling and now you can
get curious.
Okay, I wonder why I'm feelingfrustrated and frustrated
because I just, you know, Ihaven't spoken to Ellie all week
and I miss her and I feeldisconnected from her because I
don't know what's going on inher life.
Okay, so what can I do?

Speaker 3 (18:32):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
And then I'll.
Then I can approach Ellie in away that's not going to have her
feeling guilty, because she'sshe's not ignoring me.
They're busy.
They're busy in their lives.
You know, she lives with herfiance.
She works all day and comeshome and if she has to call me
and call her friends and callher grandparents, she's never
going to talk to him.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
Right, right, yeah, yeah, it is, it is.
I always tell my, I tell myclients, like, think of it, like
you know, staples, thecommercials.
They have that big easy button,the big red button.
I'm like think of that, likewalk around with that in your
head, but instead of easy, it'spause.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yes, right, so when something comes, up, just hit
the big red easy button to pause, cause you know we're allowed.
We're human beings, just likeour children, and we're allowed
to be sad and angry andfrustrated and it's okay.
I feel, even I can feel leftout of their lives.
I do feel left out, sure you'reallowed to, I'm allowed to.
How we react to that.
Do we make it all aboutourselves?

(19:32):
And is the way I'm about totell if the attitude is and I've
had moms say this to me if yourattitude is I've been their mom
for decades I blood, sweat andtears.
I deserve a phone call everyweek.
Sweat and tears, I deserve aphone call every week.
And if you're going to approachthem from that point of view,
you have to ask if well, are youready for what comes back or
what doesn't?

Speaker 2 (19:50):
So yeah, you deserve it, we all deserve it, every
mother, every father deserves aphone call every week.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
I wish I every week to say hi to me, absolutely.
And yet because I had a friendsay well, shouldn't I just can?
I just call her and tell herthat and I'm like you can.
What's?
What do you think the reactionis going to be?
How would it be for you?
You can do whatever you want,you can say whatever you want.
We're grown.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
That's right.
We all free will.
You can do whatever.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
What's what?
What is your goal?
My goal is that I just missedmy child and I just want to know
what's happening in their lifeor his life.
So maybe, instead of calling onthe you know I'm your mom, you
could call me every once in awhile.
Maybe text say hey, would loveto hear what's going on with
work, what works for you thisweek to talk.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah, again, the agency part right, they're
adults.
Yeah, and I think we forgetthat as parents.
Yeah, but also we used to talkabout this in education all the
time.
You know teachers and kids likethere's a power dynamic there.
Yeah, there's a power dynamicbetween you and your children
and the power dynamic is you'rethe parent, they're the kids.
But when you approach it thatway, then you fill them with the

(20:58):
thoughts of I'm disappointingmy mom or my dad, I'm not doing
what I should be as their child,right?
And is that the end result thatyou want your kids to think?

Speaker 1 (21:07):
So that's my heart, that's my biggest challenge.
Yeah, that really is my biggestchallenge and that challenge
that was challenging when theywent off to college.
I mean, it's a challenge.
It's just take a beat, hit thatpause button right, hit that
big red pause button.
But other than that, you know,finding things to do has been
fun.
I read more I can go walkingany time of the day I want.

(21:31):
I can go out.
Even if you just walk outsideof your house and go for a walk,
I can call a friend and saylet's start walking every
Tuesday at such and such a time.
One of my favorite things to do.
Jay, I love going to a movie.
Yes, if you have flexibility inyour schedule, if you have

(21:55):
flexibility, if you've nevergone to a 1030 or 11 o'clock in
the morning movie, I love going.
I don't do it all the time, butI love going to the movies by
myself.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
So that's a great point, right?
So that's a great point, right,I think, because when you have
a partner, right, we think wehave to do everything together
when the kids leave, right,because we did everything as a
family we went on vacation, wedid this trip, we went to this
dinner, whatever it may be wealways think we have to do
everything together becausewe're a family, yes, and yeah,
yes, and you still need to dostuff by yourself.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yes, and if you have a significant other in your life
, have a date night, havesomething, but have something
for yourself too.
Try a movie by yourself.
You're sitting in a dark room.
You're not supposed to betalking during the movie anyway,
right?
The only thing you'll miss outon is not having somebody talk
about the movie afterwards,which, honestly, sometimes I

(22:42):
don't even want to.
Right, I just want to see themovie.
Eat my popcorn and leave themovie and have it be done.
So I love try.
And if you don't want to goalone, don't.
But I, I, I always that's oneof my biggest stares is if
you've never gone to a movie byyourself, try it, try it.
It's a lot easier to go to amovie by yourself than it is to

(23:03):
go out to a meal by yourself.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
Yeah, yeah, the fear factor, if you will right, is
different.
The stakes are lower.
Yeah, the stakes are lower.
So you said you tried a lot ofdifferent things.
What's one thing that you'vealways wanted to do but haven't?

Speaker 1 (23:20):
What is something I've always wanted to do that I
haven't done yet?
Oh God, that's a good question.
I zipline.
Zipline was something I wantedto do.
I finally did that.
I've done that a couple oftimes.
You know what?
I want to ride bikes more.
I want to ride a bike on aregular basis.
I want to.
I don't ride my bike and I wantto start riding my bike.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
And I, I start riding my bike.
There you go and I, I I'm in myown way with that.
I actually just need to getmyself a good.
Um, I could go in myneighborhood and do it.
Matter of fact, you know whatI'm gonna bring my bike?
I'm gonna ride myself out,bring my bike up from the
basement.
I'm gonna go out for a bikeride in my neighborhood there
you go, there you go, but ridingyourself, riding a bike I love
that.

Speaker 3 (24:01):
Yeah, it's always.
I think it's curious wherepeople land when I ask that
question is like, what'ssomething you've always wanted
to do that you haven't?
But the point there, I think,jodi which is so great for
people who are listening is likethat's not complicated, no,
right.
People sometimes say, oh,what's one thing you always
wanted to do but you haven't?
And they think, oh, it's gottabe some big, extravagant trip or

(24:21):
someplace I wanted to go.
No, keep it simple, folks.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
Yeah, I want to ride my bike.
I'm going to ride my bike.
Thank you for asking me that.
There you go.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
There you go.
Now you have some clarity onwhat you can do.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
Yeah, it doesn't have to be jumping out of an
airplane, jay, I like that yourecognize that.
Just do something little.
Join a book club, go for a walk, ride a bike, go to a movie,
take a class.
Take an adult.
Every single township that Iknow of, or a community college,
has adult evening education,non-credit classes, and there's
so.
You've never looked at thebrochure.

(25:00):
There's so much offered.
Take a yoga class, go to Pilpilates.
I tried pilates recently forthe first time.
I'm a reformer.
I wanted to try a reformerpilates class.
I went there, did that.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
Yeah, so I'm still trying new things yeah, and
that's the key, right, if peoplewho are listening is like it,
you get out of your own way byactually getting out of your own
way, right?
I tell people like thedifficult part, the most
difficult part of making adecision is actually deciding
that you're going to make thedecision.
Yes, right, you don't staystewing in it.
So it's like do somethingsimple.
I think that's the point ofthis, this whole conversation Do

(25:34):
something simple.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
I'll give you another go-to it's doing, but it's not
like a bike ride or somethinglike that Spend the day smiling
at everybody you see and orgiving out random compliments.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
Because every day, when we're out and about, you're
standing, you're looking andyou're standing at the deli
counter at the market and younotice a woman.
You really like her sweater andyou think, god, that's a nice
sweater.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
Tell her, you make that person's day.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
Tell her.
I saw an older gentleman.
He was in a suit and he had onthis hat.
He looks so smart, smart dress.
You know when they used to usethe term smart for dress?

Speaker 3 (26:10):
Yes and I looked at.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
I go oh, do you look sharp?
I go, you look smart, sharp.
And he's like, oh, thank you.
But either spend a day smilingand we're giving out random
compliments and people say, well, what does that do for me?
It gets you out of yourthinking, out of your head, out
of the whole why you know you'reout of your head and into your

(26:32):
heart, into your heart.
Because when you're giving outrandom compliments to other
people, or whether you're justsmiling at other people, it's a
boomerang effect on you, butyou're making an impact on
somebody else's day.
You're not even thinking aboutit and it'll come back to you.
It's gratitude, it's reallysimply it's gratitude.

Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah, and plus the ripple effect, because if they
see you doing it, they mightvery well go and do that for
somebody else as well.
I love it.
I love everything that we'vebeen talking about.
I think, like the show has beena little bit about like just
keep it as simple, right.
This episode is like just keepeverything simple, Think of
small things, take that one step.
You know, I try and tell peoplelike every step has purpose.
You know people think we needto leap from where we are now to
like where we need to be.

Speaker 1 (27:14):
No no, no, we don't.
I didn't.
I didn't start my podcast theday I said is this enough?
Is it, is what I'm doing,enough?
I didn't become a publicspeaker, I didn't become a life
coach.
I just said this is not enoughfor me, and I don't know what it
is.
but I knew there was somethingelse I was meant to do and I had
no idea.
I just got done telling mydaughter this you don't have to

(27:35):
know the how, the how you'regoing to achieve X or the how
you're going to get X.
You just start with a list.
Just start with the things thatsound good to you, that feel
good to try.
You don't have to know the how.
Put it on a vision board, makea list.
The list can be your visionboard.
You don't have to know the how,just having, like you said, jay

(27:59):
, deciding, deciding.
I'm ready for something new.
I'm going to make a list.
I don't know how I'm going todo this, but I'm going to put it
on my list anyway.
I promise you that how willreveal itself.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
It will.
It will definitely a hundredpercent Love it All right.
So to kind of just to wrap upthe show like empty nesting
happiness in your emptiness lifeis what Happiness in your
emptiness life.
Happiness in your emptinesslife is what happiness in your
emptiness life.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Happiness in your happiness in your emptiness.
Life is fill in the blank.
Oh my god, it's a good one.
Oh my happiness in my emptiness.
Life is having fun, it's havingfun having fun having fun.
If it's not fun, I don't wantto go out there.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
All right, what did you?
What did you do?
What was?
What was something you did?

Speaker 1 (28:49):
fun in the last 30 days oh well, making a fire pit
on my, on my patio, to me that'sfun.
To sit with family around afire pit is fun.
I've done that.
We did that recently.
Um, I recently, last minute,just invited another couple over
for a Friday night dinner.
That that's fun to me.
That's fun, things that fillfill my heart.

Speaker 3 (29:13):
That's good yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Happiness in my life is just having fun, and fun is
defined by spending time doingthings that light me up inside.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
Oh good, and next week it'll be riding a bike.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
There you go Riding a bike.
I'll be.
I will update you on that.

Speaker 3 (29:29):
Keep me updated on that.
Jodi, where can people find youonline?

Speaker 1 (29:33):
Well, for any of the moms out there, the Facebook
group on Facebook is a privategroup called Moms who Dare Find
it.
Ask to join.
You're in Everything about me,from the Facebook group to the
podcast, to anything else youwant to know is at
jodysilvermancom, and you canget to my social from there as
well.
That's the best.
The starting point isjodysilvermancom.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
Perfect, yeah, and we'll throw that in the show
notes so people can find it sogood to see you and so good to
have you here.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
I love what you're doing.
I love the Emptiness Life theshow.
I love the title and what itall means.
The Emptiness Life it's as itshould be Embrace it, dare to
live it.
And I love what you're doing,jay.
Your show is impactful foranybody who hears it.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
Thank you, jodi, as is yours, and as is the things
that you're doing for moms right, getting them to get out of
their comfort zone zone and dareto do something different.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
So good.
Thanks again for being here.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Are you ready to start living and enjoying your
empty nest years?
If so, head over tojasonramsdencom and click work
with me to get the conversationstarted.
This empty nest life is aproduction of impact.
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