May 10, 2025 • 30 mins
Dan Heffley's journey of recovery and resilience after experiencing a massive stroke at age 31 demonstrates extraordinary courage & determination as he continues to build a fulfilling life despite significant challenges.
• Former Army Ranger who suffered a stroke after a carotid artery tear, affecting the entire left side of his brain
• Lives with apraxia (difficulty coordinating speech muscles) and aphasia (knowing what to say but being unable to form the words)
• Family support played crucial role in his recovery
• Maintains an "A+" attitude despite setbacks, says "it sucks, but oh well"
• Participates in regular speech therapy at Duquesne University for 20+ years
• Discovered painting as a creative outlet & enjoys restoring furniture
• Stays connected with fellow Army Rangers
• Mastered tying his shoes one-handed after persistent practice
• Demonstrates the reality of neuroplasticity through continued improvement over 2 decades
• Lives independently and maintains an active social life in his community
To FOLLOW Dan's continued progress, visit https://www.facebook.com/SupportDanHeffley
Resources to help stroke survivors & Families to heal & rediscover joy after stroke.
American Stroke Association – Recovery Resources for Patients
The "Life After Stroke" guide provides practical strategies to help individuals regain independence and adapt to new routines. Stroke Family Warmline (1-888-4-STROKE) connects survivors & caregivers with trained team members for support and info.
www.stroke.org
Stroke Onward – Emotional Recovery Guide
Focuses on the often-overlooked emotional aspects of stroke recovery, addressing topics such as grieving the loss of one's former self, rebuilding identity, and finding meaning post-stroke. It offers tools and insights to support survivors in navigating the complex emotional landscape of recovery.
Stroke Onward
After Stroke – Peer Support Network
Peer support network that connects stroke survivors & caregivers for emotional support & shared experiences including 1-on-1 peer support both online & in-person support groups
Send us a one way text here! (We can’t see your phone number)
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Books referenced on the podcast.
Atomic Habits by James Clear (paid link)
Atomic Habits for Kindle
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck (paid link)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Some segments of this episode are available on video
at our social media channels atTYPGHPOD, on Instagram or our
Facebook page.
This Is it, the podcast byThriving Yinzers.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hi everyone, welcome back to this.
Is it the podcast by ThrivingYinzers where today we explore
finding your strength to keepgoing and growing through life's
hardest moments?
We are honored to welcome DanHefley, a former Army Ranger
whose life changed forever aftera massive stroke at just 31
years old.
The stroke affected the leftside of his brain, resulting in
(00:39):
significant impairments to theright side of his body, as well
as both apraxia and aphasia.
Despite these obstacles, danhas demonstrated remarkable
resilience in his recoveryjourney over a span of more than
20 years, a testament to hisdetermination.
His stroke may have altered thecourse of his life, but it
never shook his will to keepmoving forward.
(01:00):
Dan Hefley's recovery is apowerful reminder that
resilience is about meetinghardship with grit, giving
yourself grace and making thechoice to start showing up.
So here are the Hefleys and myco-host, jody Good.
Hi, hi.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Dan, how are you?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We're doing good.
Thank you for coming.
Yeah, good, good.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
All right Ready.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
We're ready.
Let's go With Dan's brothers,sean and Patrick.
His family has played a crucialrole in his recovery, ensuring
he was always surrounded byloved ones during the
rehabilitation process.
Some of them are here today toassist Dan.
As Dan does struggle still toarticulate responses due to
apraxia and aphasia, before weget started, can someone explain
(01:44):
apraxia and aphasia Before weget started?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
can someone explain apraxia and aphasia to our
listeners?
Speaker 5 (01:47):
Yeah, so apraxia and aphasia.
It's common for brain injuryfolks to have Apraxia and
aphasia.
Aphasia is you know what youwant to say but you just can't
get the words in.
Your brain's not making thatconnection.
It's like being in a foreignland, not being able to
communicate but knowing what youwant to say.
Apraxia is more to do with thecoordination of your tongue and
(02:09):
moving in your mouth and makingsounds.
That's the real general terms.
I'm not a speech therapist ordoctor so I couldn't explain
beyond that?
Speaker 4 (02:17):
No, that helps.
Thanks for sharing.
That's helpful for thelisteners to know and understand
, so thank you for coming tosupport Dan in this podcast
recording too.
We appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And thank you, dan Well thanks for having us.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
It's a blessing that you guys are doing this.
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
I mean, it's truly an honor.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, we really appreciate your courage to be
open with it and sharing yourjourney.
We know that these experiencesare very personal and we're
really thankful to have you hereto reflect on that journey and
the road you've traveled and toremind us all what finding your
strength can really look like.
And we also just want to thankyou for your service, for the
(02:57):
time that you spent as an ArmyRanger prior to your injury.
Good Thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Hopefully you can inspire other people that are
struggling and aren't able tomaybe stay in the positive space
that you've been in.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Because there's just something about your presence,
Dan, that stays with people, andI would say that it's your
smile, because you have a wintersmile, but it's also it's your
mindset, it's your resilienceand it's the way that you've
kept showing up for life.
You may not have set out toinspire anyone, but you really
have, oh well.
And your strength speaks louderthan.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Words.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Okay, did you catch that?
Just as I was about to say toDan, your strength speaks louder
than words.
He finished my sentence withthe word words in a full circle
moment.
That shows just how far he'scome.
The way that you're showing upevery day for life just really
makes people believe that theycan keep going too, and that's
good stuff, and we want to helppass on that resilient spirit to
(03:56):
even more people.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
All right.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Dan's journey is a story of persistence and the
truth that you never know whoyou're inspiring just by showing
up.
We've talked about two books inprevious podcasts that really
tap into journeys like Dan's.
That explain how your mindsetand daily habits can really
create the change you may tapinto to heal, recover or grow.
While the ideas in the booksare backed in science, dan is
(04:21):
living proof.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
He's a living testament of a lot of the
concepts in all those books.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
What's incredible about Dan's story is that his
mindset didn't come from readingthe right book or quoting the
right research.
He didn't study atomic habitsor neuroplasticity.
He lived it.
The strength was already withinhim and day by day, he let that
strength lead.
And that reminds us you don'tneed to be an expert in personal
development to grow, but you doneed the willingness to try
(04:47):
again.
Today, he really embodies whatJames Clear calls atomic habits
and what Carol Dweck describesas a growth mindset.
We talk about these two books alot, because these two concepts
are a really great foundationfor creating lasting change and
growth which ultimately resultin a better life ahead.
And Dan is living it, despitestill having significant
(05:09):
challenges.
We're not just highlightingrecovery.
We're also honoring the steady,powerful presence of strength
in the day-to-day stuff.
This is a story of grit, growthand the courage to keep showing
up.
So let's begin.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
We'd like to go back to the moment that changed and
(05:41):
shifted everything for Dan andhis family.
So I'm going to summarize yeah,a tree fell and he jumped out
of the way.
He had a tear in his carotidartery.
That's one of the main arteriesgoing up to your brain on your
left-hand side.
He had a pain in his neck for acouple of days and one morning
I think probably three or fourdays after that, his work found
(06:01):
him on the floor underneath hisdesk and then called the
ambulance, got him to StrickleyValley because he was working in
Coriopolis, and then they gothim to Presby and it's all kind
of like slow and when you have astroke, every minute is
important because they say afterlike a few hours, you're just
slowly, your brain is dying,you're not getting oxygen to
your brain.
By the time they got him downthere, hours have passed.
(06:26):
Ultimately, his whole left sideof his brain is gone, died.
It's just a mass of tissue justreally doing a whole lot.
Looking back at it, I was likewhy did it take so long?
There was no sense of urgencyand with a stroke victim, every
minute counts.
Wasn't getting any.
And then that evening you knowit was we didn't think he was
going to make it through thenight.
The doctor came on and said youknow, basically he may not make
(06:47):
it through the night, he mightdie.
So from Dan's perspective itwas all kind of a blur for us,
but still I remember, we allremember.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You'll never forget.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Never forget.
I'll pause with that.
Pat.
Do you want to add anything tothat?
Well, just like you said, thetime it took from when it
happened I think it was in themorning and yeah to go to to
Swickley and then down toOakland.
I remember being in thehospital at like 10, 11.
That's when they were like wehelped to open that up and
relieve that pressure.
Yeah, and I was at work andthen I got the call and I
(07:19):
actually beat them down, thepresby and he was coming in off
the ambulance and and I was atthe door coming in and Dan
looked at me and he like gave athumbs up.
You know I was like, okay, cool, it could be all right.
That was a very cool hook forthat moment.
And ultimately that night, thatevening, the doctor came in and
basically told us in thewaiting room that he's likely
not to make it through the night.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah, it was and at thatpoint, when you got that news,
the whole family was theretogether, right Like your
parents.
Everybody was there.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
We found out he'd probably die, and then it was a
couple of weeks in the ICU.
My dad spent every night thereholding his hand and we all took
shifts and visiting, so he wasnever alone without a family
member, unless the doctorskicked us out of the room.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah, Wow, yeah, it's devastating.
You mentioned, you remembered,the moment when you knew that
Dan wasn't going to be the samebut that you knew that he was
going to do his best to kick assat this.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Her dad tells a story about how he he squeaked.
Dan squeaked like answered himBecause my dad sang songs to him
all the time and talked all thetime, and Dan started
responding like squeezing hishand and stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
And that gives you that hope that, okay, we're
going to build from here.
And I would imagine that it wasfrom that moment forward that
that uphill journey started, andthat was one that required the
strength of Dan and his familyand support and patience.
And you know it's a tough golike for all of you, and you
(08:51):
know so many people.
It takes you down, but itdidn't.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
And oh no.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Nothing's, nothing's taken.
Dan the man.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
No, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
What was it that helped keep you going, as you
began to understand theseriousness of what happened and
also were you aware of thejourney that lied ahead for you?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
You talk good, but bad as well.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
We know it was bad.
At some point within a coupleof weeks we knew he was going to
live.
It's like, okay, so this isreality.
And then it's like how are wegoing to?
Okay, is he going to be in bedfor the rest of his life?
Is he going to be in awheelchair for the rest of his
life?
Am I going to be wiping Dan?
I've wiped Dan's butt.
That's a very humblingexperience for him.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
But it's, but it shows where he started and how
far back that journey goes.
And look at him now Great.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
I like Good so, but I should show he just, he can do
more.
You don't let him cook.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
But other than cooking he is living
independently From the point.
When you got into the pointwhere it was like, okay, this is
it, this is what's happened tome, and you kind of, obviously
you accepted it.
What was that like for you?
How did you get in that mindsetof what are we going to do now?
What was that journey like,from the transition from the
(10:26):
hospital into the therapies andall the stuff you know?
Is this just you, part of yourtraining, part of who you are?
Or did something just kind ofsnap where you decided I'm going
to kick ass and I'm going toget better?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Dan is kind of a unique individual.
He can't sit still, he'sconstantly just moving, doing
things.
You could see that from theearly on whenever he went in the
shady side and he was in a bedwith a cage around it.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Yeah, he pulled his.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
You know he wanted to get out of that thing.
So bad you could tell, but hecould easily fall and hurt
himself.
He was in the wheelchair.
I remember he was like cruisingaround with his one foot, just
pushing around At the get-go,like you guys were saying he was
ready to go and you could seeit on his face that it wasn't
gonna be like this for himforever.
(11:16):
I felt that just from lookingat him in the way he's been when
growing up.
It was amazing, but it was veryscary at that first few months.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I can't imagine, I really can't.
Speaker 5 (11:34):
But that's who Dan is .
He was an Army Ranger.
He jumped out of airplanes.
He recovered from helicopters.
You know he's always on the goand he's one of those.
What do you say?
You say a plus personality,right, a personality.
That's who he is.
Our dad often says if any ofhis five sons has a stroke like,
dan is the perfect one to havehis church.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
So oh well, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Dan, what advice would you give to somebody else
that's that was struggling tostay positive and stay strong
and keep showing up?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Good, but keep doing me fight.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Acceptance is a big piece of that.
Oh yeah, and then building fromfrom where you are and you know
sucks, yep Me hey, but oh well,right when it sucks suck it up,
he said suck it up better.
Well, it already sucks and youdon't want to make it suck more.
(12:37):
So you make the best of whatyou got and you build and grow
from there, and I think there'sso much to be said for that, and
it's your personaldetermination and your mindset
that is carrying you through.
Can we fast forward to today,because you have come so far?
So you've taken us back to whenthis all happened, how your
journey began and where are wetoday?
(13:00):
What does a typical day looklike, or a typical week?
Duquesne University has been akey component of Dan's journey
over the last 20 years.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
He has a couple of therapies he does every week.
So he does speech therapy ashis main therapies for the last
20-something years, but the lastfive years that's maybe
exclusively.
All he does is speech therapyat the University of Duquesne
where every semester there's astudent that uses him as a
(13:29):
subject for the semester totrain on and teach him how to
work on his speech.
And he's laughing because helikes girls.
They're all so pleasant andnice and friendly and they treat
Dan well.
He likes going there, he likesattention.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
So the stroke didn't take away the flirt.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
No, no, I wish, but no, he's a good wingman.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Oh, I bet.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
We try to support as much as we can, but you know we
all have jobs and stuff.
So my mom and dad usually takehim down to Duquesne, or one of
us usually will take him or pickhim up, and other than that he
gets picked up, in the morningwe bring him over to my parents'
house and there's a lot ofthings around the yard.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
They still do the furniture too, right.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
I've seen gorgeous furniture.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
A lot.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
He's constantly working on something, some type
of furniture for somebody.
It takes a lot of time and mydad has to be involved with
getting different things and wehave to be involved, but you
give him something and he goesat it.
There's been a little bit of adelay on furniture for the last
few months just because it takesa lot of time and there's been
some other things going on.
(14:40):
He's done a lot of furniture, alot.
He has a bad thumb, a badshoulder, a bad arm, boom meth
and he likes to go down toDanny's bar right down the
street and he walked, walked,okay, oh yeah, not every night,
but he's a regular there andeverybody, they look out for him
and they all take care of himFascinating.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Right here Beer Deep Danny Bar A little bit, but
Danny Bar yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
What's your favorite beer?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Show him on your prolo ad he said yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
What is?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
that you have there.
It's an app.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Yeah, prone.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
What's it called Pro Prolo?
Speaker 4 (15:22):
With a G-U-E at the end oh Prolo, Okay Prolo.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
We can show you how we can put sentences together.
Like if he wants to order, hewants to say something, he knows
what he wants to say.
He just sometimes just can'tput the words in.
He just sometimes just can'tput the words in.
He can use this app I wantwho's like.
He just hit the button.
It says I want.
I want a Miller Lite or aCorona.
You got a couple of differentfloors in there.
We go to a bar.
I usually already know what toget him.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
He wants to talk to everybody.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
I know, I know, I know and they have no idea he
had a stroke.
They're trying to figure out.
Is this guy messing with us,like what's his deal?
And I get sick of saying, oh,he had a stroke 20 years,
something years ago.
I just let him go.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
sometimes Let it go.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Until eventually, they'll figure it out.
I have to.
It's exhausting sometimes, ohwell, yeah.
And he gets frustrated.
Obviously Want to show them.
Damien wants to show you apainting here Right, see if I'll
be.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Do Something to do, something to do Well, damien
Going.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
Damien, jamie, she got you started.
There's a girl who has helpedhim and spends time and paints
with him.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yes, he's in the painting recently.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Yeah, here yeah yeah, he's been painting for a few
years.
The last few months or so he'sbeen really oh.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
My favorite one.
Some things he needs like thisis the advance for what he does.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yeah, but that's fabulous.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I love it.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
Look he has around the house.
Right here we're at Dan's house.
There's probably like 10, 20,50, there are like 50 little
paintings he's been working onover the last few months.
Someday you'll see him onFacebook.
We'll advertise him a littlebit Good.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
We'll start showing some of that, even the process
of it too.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
Yeah, we've been talking about that.
But he needs to get a couplemore More Canvases, one hovering
, two hovering and we love itbecause, number one, he's doing
a good job, he enjoys it and itoccupies his time because, like
I said, he can't sit still, it'snot like, oh Dan, just go sit
down for two hours and watch TV.
He's up, he's moving, he needsto be doing something.
(17:34):
So anytime he wants to pay himlike this, go, we're going to
dollar tree yeah I think in thelast year or two trying to get
more social media on facebook.
Hey, this is dan and this is howhe's overcome and have people
join the page and kind of seekind of challenges and how he's
been overcoming them.
Well, just in the last couplemonths we put a video up of him
tying his shoe.
(17:54):
Perfect, how do?
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I A little bit hard, one minute, a little bit.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
Well, now he does it real fast.
Years ago I was going to try tolearn how to tie my shoe
one-handed, you know with myleft hand.
I was like I'm going to tryfiguring this out.
He actually learned.
I seen him do it like weekslater after.
I was like I should trylearning how to do this and he
was already doing it.
I was like all right.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, I'll definitely link to that video.
And he said it was hard atfirst but he practiced a little
bit here, a little bit there,and now Dan says it's easy.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Or tried A little bit hard.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
but there's not many people like him.
We all know somebody like thiswho just has the grit, who's
just constantly just driven anddoing things.
That's Dan.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
I did want to talk about the family, because I
think sometimes we forget thathealing it's not a solo journey.
It really takes the support andthe encouragement and often
someone else believing in you,to remind you to believe in
yourself, although I know youhave that from within.
But it comes also from thehelpers in your life.
Can you talk about that?
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Our parents do a lot.
They are both 80.
It kind of evolves.
She takes care of them duringthe day.
We all do different things atdifferent times.
I know, I know You'll betransitioning at some point in
the future.
You'll be transitioning intokind of a new way of life and
who's keeping an eye on him, ifyou will.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
We don't know, we haven't navigated that yet.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
It truly takes the support of the whole family and
also the bigger framily, friendsand other helpers and while
we're on that subject of helpers, friends of Dan Hefley.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
We formed friends of Dan Hefley and we had the golf
fundraiser for like 12 years andwe had a good run, raised a lot
of money.
He needed the money, especiallyin the beginning, because he
had over $30,000 of COBRApayments.
He was going to hyperbaricoxygen therapy, which was
expensive.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, it's effective therapy.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Yeah, it's like you have to have some money to be
able to do that.
It's not like insurance issaying, oh yeah, we're going to
give you hyperbaric oxygentherapy, right.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
He's been doing that for years.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That sucks, but that's the truth.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
Really, yeah, well, so the golf outing stopped, but
he doesn't have the money comingin and so he's not doing that.
We're not doing maybe extratherapies that we otherwise may
be doing, but people can stillfollow the journey and stuff on
the Facebook page, which isCalled Friends of Dan Heffley,
and anybody can join.
It's public, and the last fewyears I've put more posts in
(20:32):
there.
Maybe you should start doingmore of like here.
Here's Dan tying his shoe Withhis left hand Only.
Or here he is, yeah, with thebone in his fire.
He's Always doing his stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Yeah, I want to bring more people to it Because,
seeing that video of him, dan,of you tying your shoe With your
left hand, With quickly.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
It's amazing.
Oh well, more people see that,yeah, we all adapt, and Dan is a
good example of adapting toyour challenges.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yep, is there any advice that you wish that more
doctors or therapists would giveto stroke survivors?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
Yeah, since you said neurodiversity, I'll mention
this.
So in the beginning there wasthis one speech therapist that
Dan was working with Like I'mtalking within the first year
and he said, oh well, danplateaued, he's getting better
and he's gone way past that andI think a lot of that I'm not a
scientist but neuroplasticityand all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I mean he's making new connections all the time,
right, and I think that thatmakes the difference, when you
realize and understand that thattruly is possible.
You don't know where thethreshold is going to be, but
you're open.
You keep trying, you get there.
You get there little by little.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Head Stuckers, woman, man, man.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
He used to do all kinds of different therapy.
My dad took him to everything.
Anything experimental, he wouldtake him to everything.
Anybody who wanted to do astudy on Dan they did.
He was like, yeah, let's do it.
And he's been hooked up todifferent things.
He's a machine that he slippedon his hand like a computer, and
he would twitch a little bitand it would move for him.
And all these different AmazingThey've done everything.
(22:19):
So if you guys want to have anyexperiments, the answer is yes,
yep.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Beyond physical recovery, there's the inner
journey, the mental shifts thatmake healing possible.
Carol Dweck talks about havinga growth mindset, believing you
can grow even through struggle.
She explains howneuroplasticity works in the
brain, allowing us to shift andgrow through all sorts of hard
(22:48):
things.
It's clear that mindset hasshown up in your recovery, dan.
So A+ it all starts with thatmindset shift.
For our listeners, a-plus isone of Dan's favorite phrases,
along with good and beer.
Dan is living proof thatneuroplasticity isn't just a
theory, it's real.
The brain can change, rewireand relearn, and Dan has shown
us that, one patient, step at atime.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Right, a-plus yeah, hey, advice Bye.
What keeps you going?
Speaker 5 (23:17):
Dan is super.
He's a social butterfly.
He has a very strong bond withhis Army Ranger.
Oh, he's big time.
If you meet Dan, one of thefirst things he's going to show
you is his belt buckle thatprobably says Army Ranger on it,
and then his Fernandez died inAfghanistan with his guys he was
hilarious with and he has a lotof pride with that.
So twice a year he goes down.
Sometimes twice a year, he goesdown, sometimes twice a year
(23:38):
down with his ranger buddies for20 plus years and they all go
camping for a weekend.
So you care.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Right, that's a nice approach.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, but Nice woman, I uh Sweet woman.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
Oh, uh, what's his name's wife on?
Um, well, sweet woman.
Oh, what's his name's wife,anne.
We're all here, yeah, fernandez.
Andy Fernandez died inAfghanistan.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
He was a army ranger.
He wasn't servicing.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
He knows his wife.
They have a fundraiser for hiswife, who she comes and brings
the family and they all bond.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Bond.
I like bond Brothers Brothers.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Brothers.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Brothers, but were there times when you didn't
think that you could staypositive?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
No no, no no D, no F, no A, no P, third One no.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Just frustrated.
You might get frustrated andsad for a second Frustrated a
lot.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Sad, but you snap it out.
Yeah, I know you're askinghow's he do it.
I don't know.
He has gotten sad.
I've seen him break down but heovercomes.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
As we start to wrap up, we want to leave space for
reflection and encouragement foranyone on their own tough road.
If someone's listening rightnow in their own uphill climb.
Speaker 5 (25:13):
What would you want to say to them?
Never give up.
You know, like that's, that'sthe thing.
Like Sean said, a plateau.
We're told that he's only goingto be this much or say this
much.
He still comes out with thingsthat we're still like, geez, I
can't believe he's doing that orsaying these words so just
(25:35):
never giving up and having thepush, and you know.
So just never giving up.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
And having the push.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Looking back, what advice would you give to other
families going through a similarcrisis?
How can they be the kind ofhelper someone in recovery needs
?
Is there a message or takeawayyou'd like listeners to remember
from your story?
Speaker 5 (25:57):
To be patient.
People are thinking positivecompared to negatively
Overcoming challenges, and weall have challenges every day we
have to overcome.
Dan is a good testament ofovercoming challenges.
I personally have more of arelationship with God when I
can't control this situation.
And why is all these bad thingshappening?
I'm just going to give it toGod.
I think I can't control this,I'm powerless over.
(26:17):
To give it to God, I think Ican take control of this.
Powerless over.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
And that's working through Dan and also others,
that because of this journeythat he's touching and, dan, I
mentioned this at the beginningI hope that you realize that you
impact so many people that youmay not even be aware of, and
that's kind of.
Another point of the podcast isjust by showing up every day,
(26:41):
you might be changing someone'slife.
You are Well good, yep, and sowe thank you, dan, and your
family, for showing up for ustoday, for our listeners.
Take a minute to remindyourself when you faced
something that felt impossible.
But, showing up again and again, you did see a change over time
(27:02):
.
We all have this type ofstrength within.
Sometimes we need to remindourselves what's there, so we
thank you, dan, for reminding uswhat is possible.
What's even more powerful is theripple effect the way Dan's
courage has inspired people hemay never meet.
You may not even realize howmany people you inspire just by
(27:22):
showing up and doing what you doevery single day.
We never really know who'swatching or who needs the
example we're setting.
Dan, your recovery is a livingmessage of resilience and we're
very grateful you're sharing it.
The world is a better placewith people like you in it.
Always remember that on thehard days and that goes for our
listeners too you never know howyou can impact someone.
(27:44):
So keep showing up.
Someone's counting on it.
What if someone out there iswatching you right now and you
don't even know it?
What would you want them tolearn from how you show up?
Dan couldn't wait to feel ready.
He took the next step and thenthe next, and that's where
progress happens.
That's where healing lives, andit's also where hope grows.
Dan Hefley is living proof thatthe biggest victories often
(28:07):
come from the smallest, mostpersistent steps.
Whether you're rebuilding fromscratch or just trying to make
it through the day, keep goingBecause, like Dan, you might be
someone's reason to believe youmight be changing lives just by
showing up.
Thank you, dan and family, forshowing up for us today.
We will link how you can followDan's continued progress in the
show notes.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
If you're listening right now and struggling with a
life-altering injury or illnessand you're feeling alone, please
know we understand that noteveryone's situation looks the
same.
It can feel incredibly lonely,but even when it's hard to see,
there are helpers out there andyou owe it to yourself to reach
out.
You don't have to do it alone.
We're including links in theshow notes to some helpful
(28:49):
resources.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
This is it Keep going and growing.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
That's it for today.
If something here spoke to you,please take a second to make
sure you are following the showin your favorite podcast
platform.
Leave us a rating or a quickreview and share it with some
friends and family.
Every follow and review helpsus reach more people.
This is it.
Make it happen.
This podcast is a product ofThriving Yenzers LLC, a home
services business that helps youreclaim your time and space.
(29:16):
We conquer overwhelm bytackling your to-do list with
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To learn more, visit us atthrivingyenserscom.
If you or someone you know isin crisis, please reach out to a
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Help is available 24-7nationwide at the
(29:36):
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(29:58):
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Okay, here comes the legalese.
This podcast is forinformational and entertainment
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The content shared is based onpersonal experiences and
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Nothing shared on this podcastshould be considered
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Thriving Answers LLC, its hostsor any associated parties are
(30:20):
not liable for any actions takenor consequences arising from
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This Is it, the podcast byThriving Yinzers.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hi everyone, welcome back to this.
Is it the podcast by ThrivingYinzers where today we explore
finding your strength to keepgoing and growing through life's
hardest moments?
We are honored to welcome DanHefley, a former Army Ranger
whose life changed forever aftera massive stroke at just 31
years old.
The stroke affected the leftside of his brain, resulting in
(00:39):
significant impairments to theright side of his body, as well
as both apraxia and aphasia.
Despite these obstacles, danhas demonstrated remarkable
resilience in his recoveryjourney over a span of more than
20 years, a testament to hisdetermination.
His stroke may have altered thecourse of his life, but it
never shook his will to keepmoving forward.
(01:00):
Dan Hefley's recovery is apowerful reminder that
resilience is about meetinghardship with grit, giving
yourself grace and making thechoice to start showing up.
So here are the Hefleys and myco-host, jody Good.
Hi, hi.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Dan, how are you?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We're doing good.
Thank you for coming.
Yeah, good, good.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
All right Ready.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
We're ready.
Let's go With Dan's brothers,sean and Patrick.
His family has played a crucialrole in his recovery, ensuring
he was always surrounded byloved ones during the
rehabilitation process.
Some of them are here today toassist Dan.
As Dan does struggle still toarticulate responses due to
apraxia and aphasia, before weget started, can someone explain
(01:44):
apraxia and aphasia Before weget started?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
can someone explain apraxia and aphasia to our
listeners?
Speaker 5 (01:47):
Yeah, so apraxia and aphasia.
It's common for brain injuryfolks to have Apraxia and
aphasia.
Aphasia is you know what youwant to say but you just can't
get the words in.
Your brain's not making thatconnection.
It's like being in a foreignland, not being able to
communicate but knowing what youwant to say.
Apraxia is more to do with thecoordination of your tongue and
(02:09):
moving in your mouth and makingsounds.
That's the real general terms.
I'm not a speech therapist ordoctor so I couldn't explain
beyond that?
Speaker 4 (02:17):
No, that helps.
Thanks for sharing.
That's helpful for thelisteners to know and understand
, so thank you for coming tosupport Dan in this podcast
recording too.
We appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And thank you, dan Well thanks for having us.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
It's a blessing that you guys are doing this.
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
I mean, it's truly an honor.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, we really appreciate your courage to be
open with it and sharing yourjourney.
We know that these experiencesare very personal and we're
really thankful to have you hereto reflect on that journey and
the road you've traveled and toremind us all what finding your
strength can really look like.
And we also just want to thankyou for your service, for the
(02:57):
time that you spent as an ArmyRanger prior to your injury.
Good Thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Hopefully you can inspire other people that are
struggling and aren't able tomaybe stay in the positive space
that you've been in.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Because there's just something about your presence,
Dan, that stays with people, andI would say that it's your
smile, because you have a wintersmile, but it's also it's your
mindset, it's your resilienceand it's the way that you've
kept showing up for life.
You may not have set out toinspire anyone, but you really
have, oh well.
And your strength speaks louderthan.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Words.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Okay, did you catch that?
Just as I was about to say toDan, your strength speaks louder
than words.
He finished my sentence withthe word words in a full circle
moment.
That shows just how far he'scome.
The way that you're showing upevery day for life just really
makes people believe that theycan keep going too, and that's
good stuff, and we want to helppass on that resilient spirit to
(03:56):
even more people.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
All right.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Dan's journey is a story of persistence and the
truth that you never know whoyou're inspiring just by showing
up.
We've talked about two books inprevious podcasts that really
tap into journeys like Dan's.
That explain how your mindsetand daily habits can really
create the change you may tapinto to heal, recover or grow.
While the ideas in the booksare backed in science, dan is
(04:21):
living proof.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
He's a living testament of a lot of the
concepts in all those books.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
What's incredible about Dan's story is that his
mindset didn't come from readingthe right book or quoting the
right research.
He didn't study atomic habitsor neuroplasticity.
He lived it.
The strength was already withinhim and day by day, he let that
strength lead.
And that reminds us you don'tneed to be an expert in personal
development to grow, but you doneed the willingness to try
(04:47):
again.
Today, he really embodies whatJames Clear calls atomic habits
and what Carol Dweck describesas a growth mindset.
We talk about these two books alot, because these two concepts
are a really great foundationfor creating lasting change and
growth which ultimately resultin a better life ahead.
And Dan is living it, despitestill having significant
(05:09):
challenges.
We're not just highlightingrecovery.
We're also honoring the steady,powerful presence of strength
in the day-to-day stuff.
This is a story of grit, growthand the courage to keep showing
up.
So let's begin.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
We'd like to go back to the moment that changed and
(05:41):
shifted everything for Dan andhis family.
So I'm going to summarize yeah,a tree fell and he jumped out
of the way.
He had a tear in his carotidartery.
That's one of the main arteriesgoing up to your brain on your
left-hand side.
He had a pain in his neck for acouple of days and one morning
I think probably three or fourdays after that, his work found
(06:01):
him on the floor underneath hisdesk and then called the
ambulance, got him to StrickleyValley because he was working in
Coriopolis, and then they gothim to Presby and it's all kind
of like slow and when you have astroke, every minute is
important because they say afterlike a few hours, you're just
slowly, your brain is dying,you're not getting oxygen to
your brain.
By the time they got him downthere, hours have passed.
(06:26):
Ultimately, his whole left sideof his brain is gone, died.
It's just a mass of tissue justreally doing a whole lot.
Looking back at it, I was likewhy did it take so long?
There was no sense of urgencyand with a stroke victim, every
minute counts.
Wasn't getting any.
And then that evening you knowit was we didn't think he was
going to make it through thenight.
The doctor came on and said youknow, basically he may not make
(06:47):
it through the night, he mightdie.
So from Dan's perspective itwas all kind of a blur for us,
but still I remember, we allremember.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You'll never forget.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Never forget.
I'll pause with that.
Pat.
Do you want to add anything tothat?
Well, just like you said, thetime it took from when it
happened I think it was in themorning and yeah to go to to
Swickley and then down toOakland.
I remember being in thehospital at like 10, 11.
That's when they were like wehelped to open that up and
relieve that pressure.
Yeah, and I was at work andthen I got the call and I
(07:19):
actually beat them down, thepresby and he was coming in off
the ambulance and and I was atthe door coming in and Dan
looked at me and he like gave athumbs up.
You know I was like, okay, cool, it could be all right.
That was a very cool hook forthat moment.
And ultimately that night, thatevening, the doctor came in and
basically told us in thewaiting room that he's likely
not to make it through the night.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah, it was and at thatpoint, when you got that news,
the whole family was theretogether, right Like your
parents.
Everybody was there.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
We found out he'd probably die, and then it was a
couple of weeks in the ICU.
My dad spent every night thereholding his hand and we all took
shifts and visiting, so he wasnever alone without a family
member, unless the doctorskicked us out of the room.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah, Wow, yeah, it's devastating.
You mentioned, you remembered,the moment when you knew that
Dan wasn't going to be the samebut that you knew that he was
going to do his best to kick assat this.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Her dad tells a story about how he he squeaked.
Dan squeaked like answered himBecause my dad sang songs to him
all the time and talked all thetime, and Dan started
responding like squeezing hishand and stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
And that gives you that hope that, okay, we're
going to build from here.
And I would imagine that it wasfrom that moment forward that
that uphill journey started, andthat was one that required the
strength of Dan and his familyand support and patience.
And you know it's a tough golike for all of you, and you
(08:51):
know so many people.
It takes you down, but itdidn't.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
And oh no.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Nothing's, nothing's taken.
Dan the man.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
No, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
What was it that helped keep you going, as you
began to understand theseriousness of what happened and
also were you aware of thejourney that lied ahead for you?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
You talk good, but bad as well.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
We know it was bad.
At some point within a coupleof weeks we knew he was going to
live.
It's like, okay, so this isreality.
And then it's like how are wegoing to?
Okay, is he going to be in bedfor the rest of his life?
Is he going to be in awheelchair for the rest of his
life?
Am I going to be wiping Dan?
I've wiped Dan's butt.
That's a very humblingexperience for him.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
But it's, but it shows where he started and how
far back that journey goes.
And look at him now Great.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
I like Good so, but I should show he just, he can do
more.
You don't let him cook.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
But other than cooking he is living
independently From the point.
When you got into the pointwhere it was like, okay, this is
it, this is what's happened tome, and you kind of, obviously
you accepted it.
What was that like for you?
How did you get in that mindsetof what are we going to do now?
What was that journey like,from the transition from the
(10:26):
hospital into the therapies andall the stuff you know?
Is this just you, part of yourtraining, part of who you are?
Or did something just kind ofsnap where you decided I'm going
to kick ass and I'm going toget better?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Dan is kind of a unique individual.
He can't sit still, he'sconstantly just moving, doing
things.
You could see that from theearly on whenever he went in the
shady side and he was in a bedwith a cage around it.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Yeah, he pulled his.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
You know he wanted to get out of that thing.
So bad you could tell, but hecould easily fall and hurt
himself.
He was in the wheelchair.
I remember he was like cruisingaround with his one foot, just
pushing around At the get-go,like you guys were saying he was
ready to go and you could seeit on his face that it wasn't
gonna be like this for himforever.
(11:16):
I felt that just from lookingat him in the way he's been when
growing up.
It was amazing, but it was veryscary at that first few months.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I can't imagine, I really can't.
Speaker 5 (11:34):
But that's who Dan is .
He was an Army Ranger.
He jumped out of airplanes.
He recovered from helicopters.
You know he's always on the goand he's one of those.
What do you say?
You say a plus personality,right, a personality.
That's who he is.
Our dad often says if any ofhis five sons has a stroke like,
dan is the perfect one to havehis church.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
So oh well, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Dan, what advice would you give to somebody else
that's that was struggling tostay positive and stay strong
and keep showing up?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Good, but keep doing me fight.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Acceptance is a big piece of that.
Oh yeah, and then building fromfrom where you are and you know
sucks, yep Me hey, but oh well,right when it sucks suck it up,
he said suck it up better.
Well, it already sucks and youdon't want to make it suck more.
(12:37):
So you make the best of whatyou got and you build and grow
from there, and I think there'sso much to be said for that, and
it's your personaldetermination and your mindset
that is carrying you through.
Can we fast forward to today,because you have come so far?
So you've taken us back to whenthis all happened, how your
journey began and where are wetoday?
(13:00):
What does a typical day looklike, or a typical week?
Duquesne University has been akey component of Dan's journey
over the last 20 years.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
He has a couple of therapies he does every week.
So he does speech therapy ashis main therapies for the last
20-something years, but the lastfive years that's maybe
exclusively.
All he does is speech therapyat the University of Duquesne
where every semester there's astudent that uses him as a
(13:29):
subject for the semester totrain on and teach him how to
work on his speech.
And he's laughing because helikes girls.
They're all so pleasant andnice and friendly and they treat
Dan well.
He likes going there, he likesattention.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
So the stroke didn't take away the flirt.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
No, no, I wish, but no, he's a good wingman.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Oh, I bet.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
We try to support as much as we can, but you know we
all have jobs and stuff.
So my mom and dad usually takehim down to Duquesne, or one of
us usually will take him or pickhim up, and other than that he
gets picked up, in the morningwe bring him over to my parents'
house and there's a lot ofthings around the yard.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
They still do the furniture too, right.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
I've seen gorgeous furniture.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
A lot.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
He's constantly working on something, some type
of furniture for somebody.
It takes a lot of time and mydad has to be involved with
getting different things and wehave to be involved, but you
give him something and he goesat it.
There's been a little bit of adelay on furniture for the last
few months just because it takesa lot of time and there's been
some other things going on.
(14:40):
He's done a lot of furniture, alot.
He has a bad thumb, a badshoulder, a bad arm, boom meth
and he likes to go down toDanny's bar right down the
street and he walked, walked,okay, oh yeah, not every night,
but he's a regular there andeverybody, they look out for him
and they all take care of himFascinating.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Right here Beer Deep Danny Bar A little bit, but
Danny Bar yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
What's your favorite beer?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Show him on your prolo ad he said yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
What is?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
that you have there.
It's an app.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Yeah, prone.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
What's it called Pro Prolo?
Speaker 4 (15:22):
With a G-U-E at the end oh Prolo, Okay Prolo.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
We can show you how we can put sentences together.
Like if he wants to order, hewants to say something, he knows
what he wants to say.
He just sometimes just can'tput the words in.
He just sometimes just can'tput the words in.
He can use this app I wantwho's like.
He just hit the button.
It says I want.
I want a Miller Lite or aCorona.
You got a couple of differentfloors in there.
We go to a bar.
I usually already know what toget him.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
He wants to talk to everybody.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
I know, I know, I know and they have no idea he
had a stroke.
They're trying to figure out.
Is this guy messing with us,like what's his deal?
And I get sick of saying, oh,he had a stroke 20 years,
something years ago.
I just let him go.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
sometimes Let it go.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Until eventually, they'll figure it out.
I have to.
It's exhausting sometimes, ohwell, yeah.
And he gets frustrated.
Obviously Want to show them.
Damien wants to show you apainting here Right, see if I'll
be.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Do Something to do, something to do Well, damien
Going.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
Damien, jamie, she got you started.
There's a girl who has helpedhim and spends time and paints
with him.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yes, he's in the painting recently.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Yeah, here yeah yeah, he's been painting for a few
years.
The last few months or so he'sbeen really oh.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
My favorite one.
Some things he needs like thisis the advance for what he does.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yeah, but that's fabulous.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I love it.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
Look he has around the house.
Right here we're at Dan's house.
There's probably like 10, 20,50, there are like 50 little
paintings he's been working onover the last few months.
Someday you'll see him onFacebook.
We'll advertise him a littlebit Good.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
We'll start showing some of that, even the process
of it too.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
Yeah, we've been talking about that.
But he needs to get a couplemore More Canvases, one hovering
, two hovering and we love itbecause, number one, he's doing
a good job, he enjoys it and itoccupies his time because, like
I said, he can't sit still, it'snot like, oh Dan, just go sit
down for two hours and watch TV.
He's up, he's moving, he needsto be doing something.
(17:34):
So anytime he wants to pay himlike this, go, we're going to
dollar tree yeah I think in thelast year or two trying to get
more social media on facebook.
Hey, this is dan and this is howhe's overcome and have people
join the page and kind of seekind of challenges and how he's
been overcoming them.
Well, just in the last couplemonths we put a video up of him
tying his shoe.
(17:54):
Perfect, how do?
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I A little bit hard, one minute, a little bit.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
Well, now he does it real fast.
Years ago I was going to try tolearn how to tie my shoe
one-handed, you know with myleft hand.
I was like I'm going to tryfiguring this out.
He actually learned.
I seen him do it like weekslater after.
I was like I should trylearning how to do this and he
was already doing it.
I was like all right.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, I'll definitely link to that video.
And he said it was hard atfirst but he practiced a little
bit here, a little bit there,and now Dan says it's easy.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Or tried A little bit hard.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
but there's not many people like him.
We all know somebody like thiswho just has the grit, who's
just constantly just driven anddoing things.
That's Dan.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
I did want to talk about the family, because I
think sometimes we forget thathealing it's not a solo journey.
It really takes the support andthe encouragement and often
someone else believing in you,to remind you to believe in
yourself, although I know youhave that from within.
But it comes also from thehelpers in your life.
Can you talk about that?
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Our parents do a lot.
They are both 80.
It kind of evolves.
She takes care of them duringthe day.
We all do different things atdifferent times.
I know, I know You'll betransitioning at some point in
the future.
You'll be transitioning intokind of a new way of life and
who's keeping an eye on him, ifyou will.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
We don't know, we haven't navigated that yet.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
It truly takes the support of the whole family and
also the bigger framily, friendsand other helpers and while
we're on that subject of helpers, friends of Dan Hefley.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
We formed friends of Dan Hefley and we had the golf
fundraiser for like 12 years andwe had a good run, raised a lot
of money.
He needed the money, especiallyin the beginning, because he
had over $30,000 of COBRApayments.
He was going to hyperbaricoxygen therapy, which was
expensive.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, it's effective therapy.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Yeah, it's like you have to have some money to be
able to do that.
It's not like insurance issaying, oh yeah, we're going to
give you hyperbaric oxygentherapy, right.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
He's been doing that for years.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That sucks, but that's the truth.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
Really, yeah, well, so the golf outing stopped, but
he doesn't have the money comingin and so he's not doing that.
We're not doing maybe extratherapies that we otherwise may
be doing, but people can stillfollow the journey and stuff on
the Facebook page, which isCalled Friends of Dan Heffley,
and anybody can join.
It's public, and the last fewyears I've put more posts in
(20:32):
there.
Maybe you should start doingmore of like here.
Here's Dan tying his shoe Withhis left hand Only.
Or here he is, yeah, with thebone in his fire.
He's Always doing his stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Yeah, I want to bring more people to it Because,
seeing that video of him, dan,of you tying your shoe With your
left hand, With quickly.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
It's amazing.
Oh well, more people see that,yeah, we all adapt, and Dan is a
good example of adapting toyour challenges.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yep, is there any advice that you wish that more
doctors or therapists would giveto stroke survivors?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
Yeah, since you said neurodiversity, I'll mention
this.
So in the beginning there wasthis one speech therapist that
Dan was working with Like I'mtalking within the first year
and he said, oh well, danplateaued, he's getting better
and he's gone way past that andI think a lot of that I'm not a
scientist but neuroplasticityand all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I mean he's making new connections all the time,
right, and I think that thatmakes the difference, when you
realize and understand that thattruly is possible.
You don't know where thethreshold is going to be, but
you're open.
You keep trying, you get there.
You get there little by little.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Head Stuckers, woman, man, man.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
He used to do all kinds of different therapy.
My dad took him to everything.
Anything experimental, he wouldtake him to everything.
Anybody who wanted to do astudy on Dan they did.
He was like, yeah, let's do it.
And he's been hooked up todifferent things.
He's a machine that he slippedon his hand like a computer, and
he would twitch a little bitand it would move for him.
And all these different AmazingThey've done everything.
(22:19):
So if you guys want to have anyexperiments, the answer is yes,
yep.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Beyond physical recovery, there's the inner
journey, the mental shifts thatmake healing possible.
Carol Dweck talks about havinga growth mindset, believing you
can grow even through struggle.
She explains howneuroplasticity works in the
brain, allowing us to shift andgrow through all sorts of hard
(22:48):
things.
It's clear that mindset hasshown up in your recovery, dan.
So A+ it all starts with thatmindset shift.
For our listeners, a-plus isone of Dan's favorite phrases,
along with good and beer.
Dan is living proof thatneuroplasticity isn't just a
theory, it's real.
The brain can change, rewireand relearn, and Dan has shown
us that, one patient, step at atime.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Right, a-plus yeah, hey, advice Bye.
What keeps you going?
Speaker 5 (23:17):
Dan is super.
He's a social butterfly.
He has a very strong bond withhis Army Ranger.
Oh, he's big time.
If you meet Dan, one of thefirst things he's going to show
you is his belt buckle thatprobably says Army Ranger on it,
and then his Fernandez died inAfghanistan with his guys he was
hilarious with and he has a lotof pride with that.
So twice a year he goes down.
Sometimes twice a year, he goesdown, sometimes twice a year
(23:38):
down with his ranger buddies for20 plus years and they all go
camping for a weekend.
So you care.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Right, that's a nice approach.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, but Nice woman, I uh Sweet woman.
Speaker 5 (23:57):
Oh, uh, what's his name's wife on?
Um, well, sweet woman.
Oh, what's his name's wife,anne.
We're all here, yeah, fernandez.
Andy Fernandez died inAfghanistan.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
He was a army ranger.
He wasn't servicing.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
He knows his wife.
They have a fundraiser for hiswife, who she comes and brings
the family and they all bond.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Bond.
I like bond Brothers Brothers.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Brothers.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Brothers, but were there times when you didn't
think that you could staypositive?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
No no, no no D, no F, no A, no P, third One no.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Just frustrated.
You might get frustrated andsad for a second Frustrated a
lot.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Sad, but you snap it out.
Yeah, I know you're askinghow's he do it.
I don't know.
He has gotten sad.
I've seen him break down but heovercomes.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
As we start to wrap up, we want to leave space for
reflection and encouragement foranyone on their own tough road.
If someone's listening rightnow in their own uphill climb.
Speaker 5 (25:13):
What would you want to say to them?
Never give up.
You know, like that's, that'sthe thing.
Like Sean said, a plateau.
We're told that he's only goingto be this much or say this
much.
He still comes out with thingsthat we're still like, geez, I
can't believe he's doing that orsaying these words so just
(25:35):
never giving up and having thepush, and you know.
So just never giving up.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
And having the push.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Looking back, what advice would you give to other
families going through a similarcrisis?
How can they be the kind ofhelper someone in recovery needs
?
Is there a message or takeawayyou'd like listeners to remember
from your story?
Speaker 5 (25:57):
To be patient.
People are thinking positivecompared to negatively
Overcoming challenges, and weall have challenges every day we
have to overcome.
Dan is a good testament ofovercoming challenges.
I personally have more of arelationship with God when I
can't control this situation.
And why is all these bad thingshappening?
I'm just going to give it toGod.
I think I can't control this,I'm powerless over.
(26:17):
To give it to God, I think Ican take control of this.
Powerless over.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
And that's working through Dan and also others,
that because of this journeythat he's touching and, dan, I
mentioned this at the beginningI hope that you realize that you
impact so many people that youmay not even be aware of, and
that's kind of.
Another point of the podcast isjust by showing up every day,
(26:41):
you might be changing someone'slife.
You are Well good, yep, and sowe thank you, dan, and your
family, for showing up for ustoday, for our listeners.
Take a minute to remindyourself when you faced
something that felt impossible.
But, showing up again and again, you did see a change over time
(27:02):
.
We all have this type ofstrength within.
Sometimes we need to remindourselves what's there, so we
thank you, dan, for reminding uswhat is possible.
What's even more powerful is theripple effect the way Dan's
courage has inspired people hemay never meet.
You may not even realize howmany people you inspire just by
(27:22):
showing up and doing what you doevery single day.
We never really know who'swatching or who needs the
example we're setting.
Dan, your recovery is a livingmessage of resilience and we're
very grateful you're sharing it.
The world is a better placewith people like you in it.
Always remember that on thehard days and that goes for our
listeners too you never know howyou can impact someone.
(27:44):
So keep showing up.
Someone's counting on it.
What if someone out there iswatching you right now and you
don't even know it?
What would you want them tolearn from how you show up?
Dan couldn't wait to feel ready.
He took the next step and thenthe next, and that's where
progress happens.
That's where healing lives, andit's also where hope grows.
Dan Hefley is living proof thatthe biggest victories often
(28:07):
come from the smallest, mostpersistent steps.
Whether you're rebuilding fromscratch or just trying to make
it through the day, keep goingBecause, like Dan, you might be
someone's reason to believe youmight be changing lives just by
showing up.
Thank you, dan and family, forshowing up for us today.
We will link how you can followDan's continued progress in the
show notes.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
If you're listening right now and struggling with a
life-altering injury or illnessand you're feeling alone, please
know we understand that noteveryone's situation looks the
same.
It can feel incredibly lonely,but even when it's hard to see,
there are helpers out there andyou owe it to yourself to reach
out.
You don't have to do it alone.
We're including links in theshow notes to some helpful
(28:49):
resources.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
This is it Keep going and growing.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
That's it for today.
If something here spoke to you,please take a second to make
sure you are following the showin your favorite podcast
platform.
Leave us a rating or a quickreview and share it with some
friends and family.
Every follow and review helpsus reach more people.
This is it.
Make it happen.
This podcast is a product ofThriving Yenzers LLC, a home
services business that helps youreclaim your time and space.
(29:16):
We conquer overwhelm bytackling your to-do list with
services like organizationalcoaching, home decluttering,
in-home laundry service andpersonalized lifestyle
assistance.
To learn more, visit us atthrivingyenserscom.
If you or someone you know isin crisis, please reach out to a
trusted professional or crisishotline in your area.
Help is available 24-7nationwide at the
(29:36):
988-SUICIDE-IN-CRISIS lifelineDial 988 to connect with the
trained crisis counselor forfree and confidential support.
If you are local to thePittsburgh area, resolve Crisis
Services offer 24-7 crisisintervention and stabilization
services to all Allegheny Countyresidents.
You can reach them by calling1-888-796-8226.
(29:58):
If you are struggling withmental health, addiction, grief
or any other serious personalchallenges, we encourage you to
seek support from a qualifiedprofessional.
Okay, here comes the legalese.
This podcast is forinformational and entertainment
purposes only.
The content shared is based onpersonal experiences and
perspectives.
Nothing shared on this podcastshould be considered
professional advice.
Thriving Answers LLC, its hostsor any associated parties are
(30:20):
not liable for any actions takenor consequences arising from
the information provided.
The views expressed by thehosts and guests are their own
and do not necessarily reflectthose of any organizations or
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