September 20, 2025 • 41 mins
When life tests us with unimaginable challenges, we discover capacities for strength and resilience we never knew we had. Megan Grau's story embodies this truth in ways that will leave you speechless, inspired, and perhaps forever changed.
On a single day in May 2020, while the world grappled with pandemic uncertainty, Megan's world shattered: her husband Mike was diagnosed with stage four bladder cancer, her brother was hospitalized with kidney failure, and her mother entered hospice care. Within weeks, her mother passed away, and doctors delivered the devastating news that Mike had just six months to a year to live, followed by even more tragedies and loss.
But the Grau family refused to stay down as they pursued every traditional and alternative treatment they could find. Megan boldly advocated for her husband. "I care about saving my husband." She lovingly cared for her family as they faced terrible life events all at the same time.
What makes this story truly remarkable is how Megan found transformation amid tragedy. At 48, she left a 15-year career at a law firm to pursue real estate, studying for exams in hospital waiting rooms while Mike underwent surgeries. Their son Turner's college baseball career became a bright spot through the darkness, with Mike defying his prognosis to attend games throughout Turner's four years at Youngstown State and fifth year at Pitt.
The overwhelming support from their community – 500 people attending a fundraiser, meals delivered for two years, strangers appearing with gifts – reminds us of humanity's capacity for compassion.
Through it all, Megan discovered the power of intentional positivity, manifesting hope even on the hardest days while still allowing space for grief and fear when necessary.
Whatever challenges you're facing, Megan's story serves as a powerful reminder: you are stronger than you think. By sharing her ongoing journey, she offers not just inspiration but practical wisdom for finding purpose, connection, and even joy amid life's most profound difficulties.
The book Megan has now read multiple times is
"Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life" by Roxie Nafousi 👉 thrivingyinzers.com/toolkit.
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👉Atomic Habits by James Clear (paid link)
👉Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck (paid link)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sherry Ehrin (00:00):
Welcome back to This is It! by Thriving Yinzers.
These are heavy times for ourcountry and our world, but while
we all keep searching for abetter way forward, life doesn't
stop throwing challengesindividually.
It still tests families inprofound ways, like cancer, loss
and unthinkable struggles noone should have to endure, and
(00:22):
each of us is learning how tobalance what we carry with the
determination to keep movingforward, with hope for where we
are headed.
That's why today's conversationis so important.
Our guest, Megan Grau, wanted tocome on and share her story,
not because it's easy, butbecause she knows that by
speaking openly about what she'sgone through and continues to
(00:46):
endure, that she might be ableto help someone else who feels
the pain of life's hardestmoments.
Megan's story is a reminderthat you are stronger than you
think.
This is an act of courage andof generosity, and it reminds us
that even in the hardest places, there can be healing, hope and
even growth.
This podcast is about the basicidea that this is it, and we go
(01:11):
through things and sometimes wegrow through things.
Part of our mission is toconnect listeners with resources
and people who may be able tohelp get through harder times
and also share experiences ofpeople who have gone through and
are going through some stuff.
(01:31):
Resilience yeah, our generalcadence is Jodi and I talking
about a certain topic, and thenmaybe a provider, professional
or resource, and also justpeople getting through their
shit.
So we appreciate that youwanted to come on and talk with
us, and so we're going to jumpright in, if you're ready.
(01:51):
Life for everyone changed in2020 in big ways, and while we
were figuring everything out,with the events that we all went
through in 2020, you and yourfamily really went through the
ringer.
Can you paint a picture for us?
Maybe?
What was life like before 2020?
(02:11):
And then we'll get into whathas gone on since.
Megan Grau (02:15):
Well, thanks for having me.
I appreciate it.
I'm excited to kind of give youa overcast of our family and
what we've been through.
So yeah, in 2020, before that,life was great.
Life is still great.
I'm not saying life is notgreat, it was great.
You know, we really really hada life like everybody else did.
Really, we have fantasticfamily and friends.
(02:36):
We entertained our son.
We went to the majority ofevery single sport event that he
ever had football, baseball,basketball.
He graduated in 2019 fromAdmirth High School and ended up
going to Youngstown State forcollege for baseball.
We were really busy with all ofthat and I think it was pretty
normal until it wasn't.
Sherry Ehrin (02:57):
From the outside, it looked picture perfect.
Everything was going reallywell.
Your son, turner, appeared tobe following in his dad's
footsteps.
You mentioned your son's sportshistory, and your husband, Mike
, is also quite the legend whenit comes to his achievements
there.
Megan Grau (03:15):
The number was retired.
There's lots of jerseys on thewall but his number was actually
retired back in 1988.
On senior night we surprisedMike and Turner ran out onto the
field and we unretired hisjersey and I ordered a jersey
for him and it was a reallyspecial evening and he played
under 22 for his senior night atthe home field and that was a
(03:37):
really special moment.
But yeah, he's been retiredsince 1988.
Sherry Ehrin (03:41):
I'm sure that meant so much to you.
Megan Grau (03:43):
It did, it really did, and on the precipice of
what was to happen, it wasreally something special now
looking back at it, even more sothan we thought.
Jodi Chestnut (03:51):
Sure, let's talk about that.
Can you explain how thingsunfolded there?
Megan Grau (03:57):
So one day my husband used the restroom and he
just commented hey, you know, Ithink there's blood in my urine
or no, maybe it's, maybe it'sjust, maybe it's dark, Maybe I'm
dehydrated.
And I said, well, yeah, drinkwater.
We went along with our day Inthe evening.
You know I'm kind of a medicalsavvy person.
I said, hey, let me look.
And I was shocked.
It was completely red and Isaid, well, that's blood.
(04:20):
And I said I'm pretty shockedalso that you're colorblind.
I immediately called our PCP,who I know very well, and he had
Mike go in the next day and,begrudgingly, Mike went.
He thought I was beingovercautious and being Megan and
the doctor said, well, Megan'sreally good at medical stuff, so
let's take a look.
So in fact he did have blood inhis urine.
(04:42):
So the next day he went into itwas two days later he went into
the hospital just to get anultrasound.
They were thinking a stone,they were thinking infection,
bladder UTI, something, eventhough he was having zero
symptoms of any of that.
And that will kind of flow intothat fateful day.
It's COVID.
(05:02):
So obviously I wasn't able tobe with him during this
procedure.
I was at home and the PCPcalled me and said Megan, go to
the emergency room right now.
And I said well, he's, I thinkhe's just done with his
ultrasound and he's going to becoming home.
He said he can't come home,Megan, this isn't good.
We found it's a, it's a mass inhis bladder.
(05:23):
So I had to call him over thephone and tell him he needs to
go to the emergency roomimmediately.
And that's where it all kind ofjust went, pretty chaotic, you
know, throughout that day.
I think it was May 17th, I knewit was in May, but I didn't
know the exact date because it'sjust kind of a blind time for
(05:44):
me.
At the same time I got a phonecall that my mother was also in
the same emergency room.
She had been battling for manyyears a whole host of medical
situations and problems andwhatnot.
So I got on my family threadlike you know, everybody does,
they get on a family thread withmy brothers and we were talking
(06:05):
about mom.
And then we talked about mikebeing in the emergency room and
my brother troy said no, no, no,mike's not in the er.
I am.
Both my brothers said what areyou talking about?
No, mike is in the er.
He said are you kidding me?
He said I'm in the ER as well,I'm at AGH, and Mike and my mom
were at Passavant and and I saidwell, what are you in for?
(06:30):
And he said my kidney failed.
He had a kidney transplant theyear before and he was in dire
straits.
So at that moment, withinprobably 35, 45 minutes, our
entire lives changed, Every oneof us.
A month later, my mom passedaway and my brother lost both
his legs and my husband wasdiagnosed with stage four
(06:53):
bladder cancer.
Sherry Ehrin (07:01):
Jeez, okay, that's more than a lot and just
unfathomable.
.
Megan Grau (07:07):
It was definitely probably the worst day of my
life, quite frankly.
Jodi Chestnut (07:14):
Sure, getting information like that close
together is hard enough - All atthe same day, at the same time
it's hard to wrap your headaround.
Megan Grau (07:20):
uh, yeah, it was very chaotic.
It felt very chaotic at momentswhen it was also super
upsetting because I couldn't beanywhere with any of my family.
It was COVID.
They weren't letting you in, soI just had to sit at home and
wait.
I got updated, so I got newsand, yeah, that was very
difficult, but I have greatfamily as well.
Sherry Ehrin (07:42):
I was going to ask you how, with so much stacked
on top of each other, how youeven take a step forward?
But now that you say it waseven during COVID and to sit in
that stillness is, I don't evenknow how you even do that.
Megan Grau (08:00):
Yeah, covid was obviously awful, but we were
navigating so much during thistime and for the whole many
years still are.
That was one of the hardestthings not to be able to be
there and be supportive andphysically present with your
husband and your mother and yourbrother.
So that was extremely difficult, but it is what it is.
(08:23):
At that point there was nothingI could do, so I just prayed
and I just stayed focused.
Sherry Ehrin (08:35):
then what do you do after that?
Megan Grau Guest - After that,unfortunately, my husband was
set up to a biopsy then , Iguess about a week and a half
later he had it and the doctorcame in and said it didn't look
good.
I was the only one they allowedme into the waiting room for
his procedure for that and thedoctor, just you know we were
trying to figure out why, whythis happened, why him?
He was 50 years old and inperfect health and never did a
(08:59):
drug, just drank beer.
He was just worked out, he wasepitome of health.
And why all of a sudden?
And he asked me a couple ofquestions about family history
and whatnot, and none of itcorrelated.
And then he just said well,this is going to be a real
crappy thing to say to you, butunfortunately bad things happen
to good people and this is whatis happening right now.
So at that time again, covid.
(09:23):
So I was starting to sign mymother into hospice, in-home
hospice at her home.
So it was my mother and I andmy father and the hospice intern
lady.
We're going through all what itis and my husband called me
kind of out of the blue, becausehe knew I was there.
I was shocked.
He called me and I said, mom, Ihave to answer, excuse me.
(09:44):
And he said I already got theresults back.
They called me and it wentthrough the bladder wall into my
lymph nodes and into certainareas.
So he's like I'm going to losemy entire bladder and it's not
good, as I was signing my motherup for hospice.
Oh no, and it was a veryemotional time.
(10:07):
Obviously.
A mother and my father grew upwith my husband.
He was both my brother's bestfriend growing up and our
families were extremely close,so it was gut-wrenching for them
as well.
And that poor hospice lady waslike a deer in headlights.
I swear yeah, she was.
I'm sure is this reallyhappening.
Megan Grau (10:20):
Yeah.
She said do you want to stopthis?
We can reconvene in a betterday.
And I said no, my mother needsthis right now.
So we're going to go throughwith this and be here for her.
So that's what I did andunfortunately she passed away a
week later, so it didn't seemreal at the time.
Really, I don't even know how Iprocessed my mother's passing
during that time, because shewas such an amazing woman and a
(10:43):
huge, huge part of my life andmy family's lives, obviously.
But I like to tell myself Idon't think she could have bared
seeing what was going on withhim and my brother and
everything that was about tounfold.
So I think she just thoughtI'll be better served up above.
Sherry Ehrin (10:58):
Yeah, we don't understand why sometimes that's
what you have to look for andthat's what you have to hold on
to.
Exactly.
That's heavy, and I am tryingto piece it all together.
Honestly, I really am stilltrying to process just what
you're saying.
Yeah, how do you?
I?
Mean it's been Since 2020.
(11:20):
We're in 2025.
Megan Grau (11:21):
Five years.
Sherry Ehrin (11:21):
Five years.
So in those five years, whathas gone on on the day to day?
Megan Grau (11:27):
On a daily basis.
At first it was extremelyintense and extremely hard.
We just were faithful,extremely positive.
We're just positive people.
At some point, a couple monthslater, he was given six months
to a year to live and we weretold to get our affairs in order
, needed to tell our family andwhatnot that whole conversation
(11:49):
which we weren't reallyexpecting to have, nor did we
want that timeline or want toknow the timeline.
Sure, when that happened, Ithink it's flipped a switch in
us, so to speak, Like noabsolutely not.
You don't know who you'remessing with.
Yeah, we're going to doeverything we can.
We're going to do traditionalmedicine and traditional
(12:10):
treatments, and we did.
We have a fantastic oncologist.
We were starting to come to himwith alternative treatments
that we were researching andthat we wanted to try and one
being the infrared sauna, onebeing RSO and some other
medications from a doctor out inCalifornia and not begrudging
him whatsoever, but he is adoctor.
(12:30):
They're very statistical based.
He was listening and he said Ijust don't know.
We won't know what's working.
Or if anything's working, wedon't know which one it is.
So the statistics will beskewed.
And I just looked at him and Isaid I'm not trying to be rude,
but I don't really care aboutyour statistics.
I care about saving my husbandand it sounds weird, but I
(12:52):
looked him in the face and Isaid you work for us and we're
telling you what we're doing.
You just have to help navigateit with us and we just want to
let you know we're not going totry to hide anything from you,
us and we just want to let youknow we're not going to try to
hide anything from you.
And from that point on he justopened up and really, really
listened to us and then realizedthe type of people that my
husband and I are.
Yeah, that's amazing.
(13:14):
And he worked with us.
The one medication that thedoctor in California put him on.
It didn't work and it almostkilled his liver and he didn't
chastise for it.
All the other things that we'vebeen doing alternatively, in
addition to chemo, radiation,immunotherapy surgery, he now
looks at us like God, you peopleare amazing.
Yeah, is he looking to you foryour?
(13:35):
What's next?
They're actually looking tothey might have already I'm not
sure to purchase the red light,the medical grade red light
infrared sauna that we have thatMike uses every day for
treatment in their wellnesscenter at Hillman.
Oh see.
Jodi Chestnut (13:50):
Wonderful, that's amazing.
So I mean, not only are yousaving your husband, you guys
are giving back.
Everything you're doing is forthe next people right.
Megan Grau (14:06):
Yeah, we talked to so many people at Hillman every
time we're there just to givethem some hope, because it's a
really hopeless feeling whenyou're there, pretty frustrating
feeling.
I get very frustrated when I'mthere At cancer itself not with
people, right, of course.
But yeah, it flipped a switchin us and we found that out and
we said absolutely not, we won'taccept this.
Sherry Ehrin (14:25):
Sure, I was going to ask you what gives you the
strength to keep pushing through, but it sounds like it's just
that's innate in both of you.
Jodi Chestnut (14:34):
Yes, and I'm sure the love, the bond you share,
the family.
I know that you both have beensuper involved with your son and
his activities.
How did you navigate this as amom trying to be strong Because
I'm sure you had to be strongfor your son?
This couldn't have been easyfor him either, and he's in that
transitional age as well.
Megan Grau (14:53):
Yeah, he was 19, just freshman year in college
and a lot of this stuff, sincehe was in baseball and in
college and away.
He wasn't here for it.
So we would just give himtelephone updates.
Once in a while he was able tocome home.
So he lived a bit througheverything we were telling him,
which we were very open with himand honest.
And we had a conversation withhim like how much do you want to
(15:14):
know or do you want us to justhold back a bit?
And he said nope, I want toknow everything.
So whenever we'd getinformation or whatever was
going on, we would just call him.
The day that we found out thathe was given that six months to
a year to live, we couldn't bearto tell him that over the phone
.
So we did drive to school andsurprised him Not a good
(15:36):
surprise, but we surprised him.
And in that time we were justwaiting for him to finish
practice, which we knew hispractice schedule and he wasn't
coming home.
He wasn't coming home, hewasn't coming home.
It was probably almost twohours after practice that he
finally came home and when wefound him he was after practice.
He was.
He had a job to cut otherpeople's fields, you know
(16:00):
baseball fields and whatnot.
So that's what he decided to do.
So then, during that two hourtime in the car was a very, very
, very stressful but loving timethat Mike and I had together in
a very confined space.
We couldn't leave.
It was pouring down rainoutside, the whole thing, and we
really talked about everysingle aspect of it and what we
(16:23):
wanted out of the rest of ourlives, what we wanted to happen
if per se, he were to pass awayall of the things that you want
to say to somebody during thattime.
But some people just don't, wedid that.
Just too hard to say Mm-hmm,did that, yeah.
And then we told him and thatwas obviously hard, but he went
to school for four years atYoungstown and played baseball
(16:45):
and excelled in his scholasticsas well.
It was quite amazing to see himflourish and it was such a
heavy load off our shoulders andit was such a distraction for
us.
Mike went to almost everysingle game.
We went to some away games,sometimes we do, to treatments
or how he was feeling andwhatnot, and surgeries,
(17:07):
certainly a bright spot through.
He was such a bright spotthrough it all and I even
remember his freshman year.
That was 2020.
We were at a playoff game atWright State and we didn't make
it into the second round ofplayoffs.
So you know, everyone was upsetbut we just couldn't help but
think, God, that's probably thelast time he's going to have his
(17:28):
dad here to watch him and itwas gut-wrenching.
And the coaches, let us come onthe field and hug him and you
know, really be in the moment,and it was a really special
moment.
But fast forward.
My husband was able to watchall four years of him play for
Youngstown State and then heended up getting picked up by
Pitt Baseball because he had afifth year of eligibility.
(17:49):
So he played in our hometownand he played for the ACC for
his fifth year for his master'scertificate.
So not only did he not miss ayear, he got it all.
He got it all.
Yeah, it's amazing, it reallyis amazing.
So what we were talking about alittle bit before is what did I
do to be strong?
I knew after a certain time,after my mother passed, I was
(18:12):
kind of going down a path thatwasn't the best.
It was a very upsetting timeand then one day I just stopped
and I sat and I thought aboutwhat am I going to do for my son
?
I know what I can do for myhusband, but what do I need to
do for my son so he can still bea kid and be a college kid and
(18:33):
have this great experience?
So I ended up going alcohol freeimmediately for 14 months
straight and I went into thisworkout program which was super
helpful as well in my garage butyou know, I just did at home
workouts and my body be bangingmy gosh.
I looked good.
I just want to be the bestversion of myself and really
(18:56):
give Turner the time and spaceand the knowledge of knowing
that his mother is going to beokay.
Yeah, if it's all said and done, if this just doesn't work out
for mike, then I wanted him tobe confident in me and him not
to try to take on that role ofprotector and all that.
Sherry Ehrin (19:16):
I wanted him to still be a kid and be in college
and you're giving him thatsense of security, some sense of
security, some sense ofsecurity, some sense of
stability.
Megan Grau (19:24):
Mm-hmm, and he wrote me a Mother's Day card shortly
thereafter and said I knew youwere strong, mom, but I never
knew you were this strong.
You're doing an amazing job.
Yeah, I saved that card.
Jodi Chestnut (19:35):
That's so important Aw.
Sherry Ehrin (19:39):
Yeah, that's not the typical default when people
are going through hard things.
Yeah, that's not the typicaldefault when people are going
through hard things, we go toour vices that are the least
helpful in the long run.
So you had to find another way,another outlet, which for you
became the working out, thephysical activity.
Megan Grau (19:58):
I read books.
I read inspirational books andmanifesting.
I read this amazing manifestingbook, which I read multiple
times now.
What is the book.
Sherry Ehrin (20:08):
I will link it in the show notes and put it in the
TY toolkit on our website.
It's called manifesting.
I think you said that one ismanifest the seven steps to
living your best life and thatone's by Roxy Nafusi and it's
just stepping into meditationand the meditation practices of
(20:29):
manifesting your life Likepositive energy in and not
focusing on all the negativitybecause it's really really easy
to to get in a downward spiraland stay stuck there and be
stressed and anxiety-riddenwhich, yeah, sure, it was a
(20:50):
stressful and anxiety-riddentime and it still is but you
can't just keep doing that, youcan't be in that space all the
time.
Megan Grau (20:58):
Yeah, that's the frequency you're giving out is
what you're going to receive.
So and I learned that, and so Iyou know I had some good
friends talk to me about certainthings on how to do that, and
you know I still practice it.
Yeah, just daily, more of apurposeful, mindful way of going
about being positive.
I mean, yes, I'm a positiveperson in general, but it is a
(21:22):
very focused mindfulness andpositivity every day, sure it is
helpful.
Jodi Chestnut (21:30):
Yeah, even the most positive of us.
You still have to practice, youstill have to work it just like
any other muscle, right?
Megan Grau (21:37):
It's uncomfortable.
Sometimes you actually feellike you're ridiculous, saying
these things to your head, youknow, but your subconscious
brain doesn't have, doesn't knowjokes, it doesn't know sarcasm,
it doesn't know anything elseother than what you're telling
it.
And if you're telling it allthe time you're stressed, you're
angry, you're bitter, you'rescared, then that's all you're
going to put out.
Yes, that's the shift.
Jodi Chestnut (21:57):
We talk about that a lot, about the
compounding you can compound andgood compound.
The bad compounding you cancompound in good or you can
compound the bad Compound bad.
Sherry Ehrin (22:05):
yeah, but also in that I'm sure have been the
moments, the days where you areon pause or you can't get moving
yet you have those days, youhave those times.
Megan Grau (22:22):
And we've learned that it's okay to be that way,
giving yourself grace.
I mean, we just went through itlast week.
So when we get bad news or weget news that we're blindsided
by, we're deer in headlights,we're feeling all the feels,
we're feeling anxiety-ridden,sad, mad, stressed, all of it,
and just stunted emotionally tothe point where you don't want
(22:44):
to see people.
You don't want to, you justwant to sleep, if you could
sleep.
But I think we've.
We've learned that that's okay.
You know, we've given ourselvessome time to grieve this
process and and typically ittakes the next day we rebound.
So we forced ourselves torebound better than anyone.
Jodi Chestnut (23:03):
You're allowing yourself to feel and process,
which is probably a harder partfor you too, because you are
go-getters, you are, you know,you're vibrant and you're
fighters and I'm sure thatgetting to that space, learning
to get into that space where youcan accept that sometimes
you're going to feel like shitand you're just not going to
want to be that person, I thinkallowing that was probably not
(23:27):
easy.
Megan Grau (23:28):
Yeah, at first we just wanted to try to gloss over
everything.
In fact it was a while that wereally didn't tell a lot of
people.
At first we told the corefamily and the core people, but
we really didn't want it outthere and all the world to know
at first.
But then we said, why not?
You know, people are going topray for us and we have people
that are praying for us all overthe entire country and other
(23:51):
countries.
So at that point, that's when Istarted becoming a little bit
more vocal about it and postingupdates on social media, because
we have so many people that areworried about him and praying
for him and want to know what'sgoing on, who love and care for
you.
Right, our community.
We both grew up together in theAvonworth community.
Like I said, he was both mybrother's best friends.
(24:13):
Our roots run really deep inour community and you know
people love us.
They love both of our families.
So, yeah, I felt reallycompelled and it actually made
me feel stronger.
My husband I'm his PR person.
He calls me because he does alot of social media, so he
typically knows when I postsomething, because people start
(24:34):
reaching out to him or they seehim somewhere and they'll, you
know, mention it or whatever isoccurring at that time.
And he said oh, my wife musthave posted something.
Yeah, I said, yeah, we were soappreciative that she does that
and I've even given tips andhelpful hints about things that
helped Mike through radiationand chemo and immunotherapy and
(24:56):
just some different practicesthat really helped him.
That I felt, well, I'm going toput it out there because
somebody else might be dealingwith this, so you're still
giving back that I felt, well,I'm going to put it out there
because somebody else might bedealing with this.
So you're still giving back, Iguess.
So yeah you're right.
Sherry Ehrin (25:07):
It's also another way to support Mike, so that he
doesn't have to bear that Rightand people are able to show up
in love and support.
Yeah.
Megan Grau (25:18):
And boy they did.
Our community and our familyand our dear, dear friends came
in tenfold when this all cameabout.
We had friends that they wantedto do a fundraiser for us and
they called it the Grau StrongBash that's our last name, graus
and they came to us and askedif we'd be okay with it.
And we said sure, okay, becausewe knew we were going to be up
(25:40):
against some heavy, heavyfinancial burdens.
Yes, and Mike was no longerable to work.
So we agreed.
But we thought literally maybethere'd be maybe 100 people max
at this fundraiser and when weshowed up I think there was 500
(26:01):
people there and baskets uponbaskets.
We were so overwhelmed.
It was such an amazing day andnight that we were actually
really shocked.
I mean, I knew we were loved,but I didn't know we were loved
this much and I could neverrepay all the people that
participated.
And we had other you knowfundraisers GoFundMe pages from
Turner's travel baseball teamput it out there and everyone in
(26:22):
the community.
Just, it was shocking.
Sherry Ehrin (26:24):
Yeah, I've experienced that for my dad as
well, and it's it's somethingthat changes you for forever
forever and it's.
Jodi Chestnut (26:40):
but you are, Sherry you're doing it by what
we're doing right here, andMeg's giving back by what she's
doing, sharing her story,sharing her resources, being
open to talk about the thingsthat you've gone through.
All of those things are givingback in the absolute best way.
Megan Grau (26:58):
When you have people in your lives like that, you're
not just fighting for yourself,you're fighting for everybody.
You know you're fighting foryour life, but you're also
fighting for the life that.
Sherry Ehrin (27:06):
It's like being on a team and you have all these
people on your team.
Megan Grau (27:10):
Yeah, yep, I mean, people came and cleaned our
house.
Good friends own a cleaningcompany.
They cleaned our house once amonth for two years.
We had food donations forprobably two years through the
really, really hard, hard timeswhere it was extremely difficult
.
You know, in the interim of allthat we did, we lost a dear
friend three days after mymother passed away.
(27:32):
I lost a dear friend three daysafter my mother passed away.
We lost my mother-in-law Mike'smom nine months later and
Turner lost one of his dearestfriends two years ago.
Knowing that we had thisstrength behind us, not even
just ourselves, but in ourcommunity and the people that
we've lived with and livedaround and even complete
strangers and lived around andeven complete strangers I can't
(27:58):
tell you how many completestrangers would mail us
something, or even a card, orshow up at the door and just
donate something a dish or youknow things like that Very
humbling, yes, in a good way.
Right, you know Right.
Sherry Ehrin (28:09):
In a very good way , and it's things like that to
remember.
When everything seems so crazyin the world right now, you got
to remember that people are good.
Megan Grau (28:21):
There are so many good people out there.
Yep, everyone focuses on allthe bad stuff, and I get it, but
part of my journey as well thatI no longer really do that.
Yeah, I don't focus that muchon the bad stuff.
I really just purposefully tryto stay on the positive side of
things.
My mother taught us that shedid it through many, many, many
trials and tribulations andhealth issues in her life.
(28:44):
Her mantra was always treatpeople the way you want to be
treated, and that's what I havetaught our son since day one,
mm-hmm, so he knows that.
But it's that rise up feelingin you that when something is
happening, you have two choicesyou can either lay down or you
get up.
You rise up and you do better,you be better Right, give
(29:07):
yourself some space, giveyourself your moments where
you're down, and that'scompletely fine.
But you can't stay in thatspace very long.
Sherry Ehrin (29:15):
Yeah, that's right .
And speaking of that, while allthis was going on, and with the
support of friends and family,you took on something completely
new, completely out of yourelement, and made the bold shift
in your career.
So tell us about that.
(29:36):
And how does that even come tobe with all that you had on your
plate at that time?
Megan Grau (29:41):
I still don't actually know exactly.
I just I know this.
It was New Year's Eve, 2020.
So, heading into 2021.
And at that point, my life thatI knew so much was gone.
It was unrecognizable.
Honestly, the only thing thatwas remaining the same was my
job, and I was unhappy in my jobfor many years.
(30:03):
And I just again I rose up andI said I'm not entering into
2021 in this job.
In this job, and for years, mycousin, who is now my business
partner, robin Jones, she hadbeen asking me to come along in
her real estate team for PiatSotheby's International Realty
and I never did it.
I was a creature of habit, andthat's another thing that has
(30:26):
seriously changed in my life.
I am not a creature of habitanymore.
Yes, I like certain things, butMore adventurous habit anymore.
Yes, I like certain things, butMore adventurous, yes, way more
adventurous.
We take flights.
Now we go places on vacationwhere my husband and I did not
fly anywhere for probably 20years because we were petrified
of flying.
Actually, we had a phobia, wow.
(30:46):
So now, ever since that, we sayscrew it, we're going what?
Sherry Ehrin (30:50):
was the first flight.
Megan Grau (30:52):
First flight we took was to the Grand Canyon.
We went to the Grand Canyonwith some really really
fantastic friends of ours twoother couples and we saw the
Grand Canyon and we watched thesunset over the Canyon.
It was an amazing, amazing trip.
And Mike was really sick at thetime and I can't believe he was
even able to manage it reallysick at the time and I can't
(31:15):
believe he was even able tomanage it, but he did and we
have such great memories andphotos and laughter and tears,
all the, all the things.
And that's the first place wewent.
So, yeah, I just decided thatnight I'm done and I left my job
.
I walked away from my job of 15years at a law firm and I
immediately started studying formy real estate exams.
(31:36):
So it took me six weeks and,ladies, I'm 48 years old or
whatever, I'm 52 in June.
So I had to study.
I'm studying in the hospital,I'm studying while my husband's
having surgeries in the waitingroom.
I studied for six weeks, solid.
Then I went and took my examsand I passed them immediately,
(31:56):
both of them, and I went to workwith my cousin on the Robin
Jones team in real estate and itis the best decision I've ever
made in my entire life with myjob.
Amazing, it's wonderful.
I'm so happy.
Jodi Chestnut (32:08):
I love helping people and probably a lot less
stressful than your previous job.
Megan Grau (32:13):
Yeah, a lot less stressful.
I'm very flexible in my days,which I really needed, a job
that I could be home with myhusband and my son and to be
present and not be sittingbehind a desk for eight, nine
hours and sitting in traffic andall that jazz.
And I get to spend a lot ofdays with my cousin.
She's like a sister to meIncredible transformation cousin
(32:35):
.
She's like a sister to me.
Incredible transformation.
Yeah, everyone thought I wasinsane.
I get it.
They looked at me like I wasabsolutely lost.
Sherry Ehrin (32:39):
You're like totally taking a leap without
you know.
No, no stability, because atthat point in time Mike was no
longer able to work.
Megan Grau (32:48):
Yeah, and, like I said, the first couple of years
getting in real estate isdifficult, you know, but I had a
great mentor and my cousin andshe's highly successful.
I still learn every day, but itis by far the best decision.
I have a career now.
I didn't have really a careerback then and I don't
necessarily know if I'd havebeen able to make that jump if
my life hadn't been in suchdisarray.
Sherry Ehrin (33:10):
You know, back then I might've just wanted to
stay comfortable and secure andor hemmed and hawed around it
and studied a little bit here orstick your toe in, but you,
just you dove straight in girl.
Megan Grau (33:22):
I dove straight in the next day.
I was like New Year's day, herewe go, here we go.
Sherry Ehrin (33:27):
Okay, and so that's been now four years.
Megan Grau (33:30):
It'll be four years in March.
Wow, yeah, and my husband saysit.
It's actually kind of a truetestament.
He said it to me probably abouta year ago.
He said you know, Bub, that'swhat we call each other Bub.
And he said, Bub, even thoughthis was the most
heart-wrenching and worst timesof our lives in the past five
years, I've seen you so happy.
(33:52):
He's like I've seen atransformation in you that you
haven't had and it's because youdid something for yourself and
changed your career path intosomething that you're good at
and that you love.
So I think that's a really truetestament of how, if you can
say, I'm really happy during allthis time, I think that was a
(34:13):
pretty true testament of it wasthe right choice for me and my
family, I mean.
Jodi Chestnut (34:17):
they say we grow in uncomfortable places, right,
so you're?
A great example of that.
Megan Grau (34:23):
I am.
I was not a person of change.
I didn't love change a lot.
You know, even if I got a newlaptop now, it doesn't even
matter, I just roll with it,yeah.
Sherry Ehrin (34:34):
Ultimate pivots.
That's what happens when yougot out of your comfort zone.
You were thrown way out of it.
That's probably it.
You were thrown so far out ofit that it almost felt that was
the norm is to go do somethingelse out of your comfort zone.
Megan Grau (34:46):
Right, that's what I said.
I said why not I
Sherry Ehrin (34:58):
Well, it worked out.
It worked out.
Yeah, it did.
I'm super happy.
And speaking of happy, there'syour mom, the 3 heart.
Tell us about that.
She left her special symbolthat she always said that when
you talk about her.
Megan Grau (35:13):
Yeah, I have it tattooed on my arm as well,
after she passed.
So, growing up, my brothers andI were always in sports and
whatnot, and sometimes she wouldjust yell I love you from
across the field or somethingyou know if we're walking onto
the bus or whatever and shestarted just to say three, which
means I love you, and she wouldhold three fingers up all the
(35:34):
time and she would scream outall the time three, three, which
means I love you, and she wouldhold three fingers up all the
time and she would scream outall the time three, three, three
.
We have it cemented in ourfamily home in the steps.
We have it cemented in my frontporch now and with our son's
handprint next to it when he waslittle.
So it's been like a mantra forus growing up and then it's just
transferred over to ourchildren.
(35:56):
So her grandchildren and youknow she was constantly saying
three, and any card that you gotshe would have a heart and she
would have a three in it or itwould be in parentheses three.
That was her thing and thatbecame our thing.
Sherry Ehrin (36:08):
Sure, and that's part of what's carried you
through.
It's a big part of what'scarried you through.
Megan Grau (36:14):
Yeah, yeah, her love was.
It was something else, that'sfor sure.
She loved fiercely.
You know if she loved you, youknew it.
I learned that from her.
So when she passed, I got athree.
I actually didn't put thatnumber three because people were
asking me why did she used towrite it out?
No, she never wrote it out.
(36:41):
But my husband, during hisdiagnosis, my niece got a tattoo
of a heart with a 22, likeincorporated.
I immediately, at 48 years old,got my first tattoo with 22 on
it for him.
So I thought, well, if I have athree on my body, people are
going to think what is going onwith her.
So I chose to write it out onmy arm.
But my nieces, hunter, haydenand Harris, they all got tattoos
with my mother's handwritingthat had three with the heart or
all our love three.
So there's four of us with thattattooed on our bodies.
Sherry Ehrin (37:03):
So far legacy for Turner and your loved ones and
the listeners what feels mostimportant to say out loud.
I feel like you've already saidso much.
Megan Grau (37:20):
I said a lot of it, probably, and my mantra, you
know, is treat people the wayyou want to be treated and
understand that everybody'sgoing through some things in
their lives, every single one ofus.
And you might listen to ourstory right now and think, oh my
gosh, but there are otherpeople out there that have it
worse.
Their loved ones are lost,they're gone.
(37:41):
So I try really hard to bemindful of all of that.
Now, if I'm even in a publicplace and just try to be mindful
about your surroundings and whoyou're dealing with, and they
might be grumpy, but they mightbe dealing with a lot of stuff
too.
They might be happy and theymight be dealing with a lot of
stuff too.
Yeah, because you're sure that'sme Right, you don't know what
someone is carrying, but I alsoI surround myself with the
(38:03):
people I know that want the bestfor myself and my son and my
husband and our family.
I don't stress any more aboutpeople that are just negative in
general.
They like to complain, theylike to just oh, my car broke
down, you know, whatever.
I distance myself from that.
I don't have a lot of patiencefor that, and not that I do or
(38:26):
say anything.
I just remove myself from thesituation and live my life and
not worry about it anymore.
Sherry Ehrin (38:32):
Yeah, I recently started practicing.
I can't remember where I heardthe idea, but I was like, oh,
I'll try that you get onecomplaint a day and if you just
think about it and allowyourself, that's my allowance
one complaint a day I feel likeI'm a positive person.
I feel like I'm catching myselfstill wanting to complain about
something that's totallyirrelevant, like really
(38:53):
meaningless.
Megan Grau (38:55):
Right, no, I just think, um, you know hard things.
Yeah, I just think, be the bestperson you can be.
You know, when none of us areperfect, everyone struggles.
It's just how you rise up.
You know also, you're strongerthan you think.
Wherever you are, you'restronger than you think we all
are, we all are, and I wasdefinitely taught that that is
(39:17):
for sure.
Sherry Ehrin (39:18):
That is for sure.
And yes, we all are strongerthan you think.
Thank you for spending thistime with us.
The world may feel heavy rightnow and we're all carrying that
weight together.
But while the bigger pictureunfolds, people are still facing
deeply personal challenges, andthat's why today's conversation
(39:39):
matters.
Megan's willingness to speakopenly about her pain, her
journey and the realities shelives with is a gift.
She reminds us to treat eachother better by giving more
grace.
We just don't know what someoneis facing day after day.
And by sharing her story, sheis helping others who are in
tough places to see that you'renot better by giving more grace.
We just don't know what someoneis facing day after day.
And by sharing her story, sheis helping others who are in
tough places to see that you'renot alone and you are stronger
(40:01):
than you think.
And sometimes speaking our painout loud is not just brave.
It can be a powerful part ofhealing.
Megan, thank you for coming onand sharing your truth with us,
and Mike, we are in all of yourstrength and determination.
Keep going, keep growing, Graustrong.
This podcast is forinformational and entertainment
(40:22):
purposes only.
Nothing shared on this podcastshould be considered
professional advice.
The views expressed by the hostand guests are their own and do
not necessarily reflect thoseof any organizations or
affiliations.
If you or someone you know isin crisis, please reach out to a
(40:44):
trusted professional or crisishotline in your area.
Help is available 24-7.
Thank you 7 crisis interventionand stabilization services to
all Allegheny County residents.
You can reach them by calling1-888-796-8226.
If you are struggling withmental health, addiction, grief
or any other serious personalchallenges, we encourage you to
(41:05):
seek support from a qualifiedprofessional.
Welcome back to This is It! by Thriving Yinzers.
These are heavy times for ourcountry and our world, but while
we all keep searching for abetter way forward, life doesn't
stop throwing challengesindividually.
It still tests families inprofound ways, like cancer, loss
and unthinkable struggles noone should have to endure, and
(00:22):
each of us is learning how tobalance what we carry with the
determination to keep movingforward, with hope for where we
are headed.
That's why today's conversationis so important.
Our guest, Megan Grau, wanted tocome on and share her story,
not because it's easy, butbecause she knows that by
speaking openly about what she'sgone through and continues to
(00:46):
endure, that she might be ableto help someone else who feels
the pain of life's hardestmoments.
Megan's story is a reminderthat you are stronger than you
think.
This is an act of courage andof generosity, and it reminds us
that even in the hardest places, there can be healing, hope and
even growth.
This podcast is about the basicidea that this is it, and we go
(01:11):
through things and sometimes wegrow through things.
Part of our mission is toconnect listeners with resources
and people who may be able tohelp get through harder times
and also share experiences ofpeople who have gone through and
are going through some stuff.
(01:31):
Resilience yeah, our generalcadence is Jodi and I talking
about a certain topic, and thenmaybe a provider, professional
or resource, and also justpeople getting through their
shit.
So we appreciate that youwanted to come on and talk with
us, and so we're going to jumpright in, if you're ready.
(01:51):
Life for everyone changed in2020 in big ways, and while we
were figuring everything out,with the events that we all went
through in 2020, you and yourfamily really went through the
ringer.
Can you paint a picture for us?
Maybe?
What was life like before 2020?
(02:11):
And then we'll get into whathas gone on since.
Megan Grau (02:15):
Well, thanks for having me.
I appreciate it.
I'm excited to kind of give youa overcast of our family and
what we've been through.
So yeah, in 2020, before that,life was great.
Life is still great.
I'm not saying life is notgreat, it was great.
You know, we really really hada life like everybody else did.
Really, we have fantasticfamily and friends.
(02:36):
We entertained our son.
We went to the majority ofevery single sport event that he
ever had football, baseball,basketball.
He graduated in 2019 fromAdmirth High School and ended up
going to Youngstown State forcollege for baseball.
We were really busy with all ofthat and I think it was pretty
normal until it wasn't.
Sherry Ehrin (02:57):
From the outside, it looked picture perfect.
Everything was going reallywell.
Your son, turner, appeared tobe following in his dad's
footsteps.
You mentioned your son's sportshistory, and your husband, Mike
, is also quite the legend whenit comes to his achievements
there.
Megan Grau (03:15):
The number was retired.
There's lots of jerseys on thewall but his number was actually
retired back in 1988.
On senior night we surprisedMike and Turner ran out onto the
field and we unretired hisjersey and I ordered a jersey
for him and it was a reallyspecial evening and he played
under 22 for his senior night atthe home field and that was a
(03:37):
really special moment.
But yeah, he's been retiredsince 1988.
Sherry Ehrin (03:41):
I'm sure that meant so much to you.
Megan Grau (03:43):
It did, it really did, and on the precipice of
what was to happen, it wasreally something special now
looking back at it, even more sothan we thought.
Jodi Chestnut (03:51):
Sure, let's talk about that.
Can you explain how thingsunfolded there?
Megan Grau (03:57):
So one day my husband used the restroom and he
just commented hey, you know, Ithink there's blood in my urine
or no, maybe it's, maybe it'sjust, maybe it's dark, Maybe I'm
dehydrated.
And I said, well, yeah, drinkwater.
We went along with our day Inthe evening.
You know I'm kind of a medicalsavvy person.
I said, hey, let me look.
And I was shocked.
It was completely red and Isaid, well, that's blood.
(04:20):
And I said I'm pretty shockedalso that you're colorblind.
I immediately called our PCP,who I know very well, and he had
Mike go in the next day and,begrudgingly, Mike went.
He thought I was beingovercautious and being Megan and
the doctor said, well, Megan'sreally good at medical stuff, so
let's take a look.
So in fact he did have blood inhis urine.
(04:42):
So the next day he went into itwas two days later he went into
the hospital just to get anultrasound.
They were thinking a stone,they were thinking infection,
bladder UTI, something, eventhough he was having zero
symptoms of any of that.
And that will kind of flow intothat fateful day.
It's COVID.
(05:02):
So obviously I wasn't able tobe with him during this
procedure.
I was at home and the PCPcalled me and said Megan, go to
the emergency room right now.
And I said well, he's, I thinkhe's just done with his
ultrasound and he's going to becoming home.
He said he can't come home,Megan, this isn't good.
We found it's a, it's a mass inhis bladder.
(05:23):
So I had to call him over thephone and tell him he needs to
go to the emergency roomimmediately.
And that's where it all kind ofjust went, pretty chaotic, you
know, throughout that day.
I think it was May 17th, I knewit was in May, but I didn't
know the exact date because it'sjust kind of a blind time for
(05:44):
me.
At the same time I got a phonecall that my mother was also in
the same emergency room.
She had been battling for manyyears a whole host of medical
situations and problems andwhatnot.
So I got on my family threadlike you know, everybody does,
they get on a family thread withmy brothers and we were talking
(06:05):
about mom.
And then we talked about mikebeing in the emergency room and
my brother troy said no, no, no,mike's not in the er.
I am.
Both my brothers said what areyou talking about?
No, mike is in the er.
He said are you kidding me?
He said I'm in the ER as well,I'm at AGH, and Mike and my mom
were at Passavant and and I saidwell, what are you in for?
(06:30):
And he said my kidney failed.
He had a kidney transplant theyear before and he was in dire
straits.
So at that moment, withinprobably 35, 45 minutes, our
entire lives changed, Every oneof us.
A month later, my mom passedaway and my brother lost both
his legs and my husband wasdiagnosed with stage four
(06:53):
bladder cancer.
Sherry Ehrin (07:01):
Jeez, okay, that's more than a lot and just
unfathomable.
.
Megan Grau (07:07):
It was definitely probably the worst day of my
life, quite frankly.
Jodi Chestnut (07:14):
Sure, getting information like that close
together is hard enough - All atthe same day, at the same time
it's hard to wrap your headaround.
Megan Grau (07:20):
uh, yeah, it was very chaotic.
It felt very chaotic at momentswhen it was also super
upsetting because I couldn't beanywhere with any of my family.
It was COVID.
They weren't letting you in, soI just had to sit at home and
wait.
I got updated, so I got newsand, yeah, that was very
difficult, but I have greatfamily as well.
Sherry Ehrin (07:42):
I was going to ask you how, with so much stacked
on top of each other, how youeven take a step forward?
But now that you say it waseven during COVID and to sit in
that stillness is, I don't evenknow how you even do that.
Megan Grau (08:00):
Yeah, covid was obviously awful, but we were
navigating so much during thistime and for the whole many
years still are.
That was one of the hardestthings not to be able to be
there and be supportive andphysically present with your
husband and your mother and yourbrother.
So that was extremely difficult, but it is what it is.
(08:23):
At that point there was nothingI could do, so I just prayed
and I just stayed focused.
Sherry Ehrin (08:35):
then what do you do after that?
Megan Grau Guest - After that,unfortunately, my husband was
set up to a biopsy then , Iguess about a week and a half
later he had it and the doctorcame in and said it didn't look
good.
I was the only one they allowedme into the waiting room for
his procedure for that and thedoctor, just you know we were
trying to figure out why, whythis happened, why him?
He was 50 years old and inperfect health and never did a
(08:59):
drug, just drank beer.
He was just worked out, he wasepitome of health.
And why all of a sudden?
And he asked me a couple ofquestions about family history
and whatnot, and none of itcorrelated.
And then he just said well,this is going to be a real
crappy thing to say to you, butunfortunately bad things happen
to good people and this is whatis happening right now.
So at that time again, covid.
(09:23):
So I was starting to sign mymother into hospice, in-home
hospice at her home.
So it was my mother and I andmy father and the hospice intern
lady.
We're going through all what itis and my husband called me
kind of out of the blue, becausehe knew I was there.
I was shocked.
He called me and I said, mom, Ihave to answer, excuse me.
(09:44):
And he said I already got theresults back.
They called me and it wentthrough the bladder wall into my
lymph nodes and into certainareas.
So he's like I'm going to losemy entire bladder and it's not
good, as I was signing my motherup for hospice.
Oh no, and it was a veryemotional time.
(10:07):
Obviously.
A mother and my father grew upwith my husband.
He was both my brother's bestfriend growing up and our
families were extremely close,so it was gut-wrenching for them
as well.
And that poor hospice lady waslike a deer in headlights.
I swear yeah, she was.
I'm sure is this reallyhappening.
Megan Grau (10:20):
Yeah.
She said do you want to stopthis?
We can reconvene in a betterday.
And I said no, my mother needsthis right now.
So we're going to go throughwith this and be here for her.
So that's what I did andunfortunately she passed away a
week later, so it didn't seemreal at the time.
Really, I don't even know how Iprocessed my mother's passing
during that time, because shewas such an amazing woman and a
(10:43):
huge, huge part of my life andmy family's lives, obviously.
But I like to tell myself Idon't think she could have bared
seeing what was going on withhim and my brother and
everything that was about tounfold.
So I think she just thoughtI'll be better served up above.
Sherry Ehrin (10:58):
Yeah, we don't understand why sometimes that's
what you have to look for andthat's what you have to hold on
to.
Exactly.
That's heavy, and I am tryingto piece it all together.
Honestly, I really am stilltrying to process just what
you're saying.
Yeah, how do you?
I?
Mean it's been Since 2020.
(11:20):
We're in 2025.
Megan Grau (11:21):
Five years.
Sherry Ehrin (11:21):
Five years.
So in those five years, whathas gone on on the day to day?
Megan Grau (11:27):
On a daily basis.
At first it was extremelyintense and extremely hard.
We just were faithful,extremely positive.
We're just positive people.
At some point, a couple monthslater, he was given six months
to a year to live and we weretold to get our affairs in order
, needed to tell our family andwhatnot that whole conversation
(11:49):
which we weren't reallyexpecting to have, nor did we
want that timeline or want toknow the timeline.
Sure, when that happened, Ithink it's flipped a switch in
us, so to speak, Like noabsolutely not.
You don't know who you'remessing with.
Yeah, we're going to doeverything we can.
We're going to do traditionalmedicine and traditional
(12:10):
treatments, and we did.
We have a fantastic oncologist.
We were starting to come to himwith alternative treatments
that we were researching andthat we wanted to try and one
being the infrared sauna, onebeing RSO and some other
medications from a doctor out inCalifornia and not begrudging
him whatsoever, but he is adoctor.
(12:30):
They're very statistical based.
He was listening and he said Ijust don't know.
We won't know what's working.
Or if anything's working, wedon't know which one it is.
So the statistics will beskewed.
And I just looked at him and Isaid I'm not trying to be rude,
but I don't really care aboutyour statistics.
I care about saving my husbandand it sounds weird, but I
(12:52):
looked him in the face and Isaid you work for us and we're
telling you what we're doing.
You just have to help navigateit with us and we just want to
let you know we're not going totry to hide anything from you,
us and we just want to let youknow we're not going to try to
hide anything from you.
And from that point on he justopened up and really, really
listened to us and then realizedthe type of people that my
husband and I are.
Yeah, that's amazing.
(13:14):
And he worked with us.
The one medication that thedoctor in California put him on.
It didn't work and it almostkilled his liver and he didn't
chastise for it.
All the other things that we'vebeen doing alternatively, in
addition to chemo, radiation,immunotherapy surgery, he now
looks at us like God, you peopleare amazing.
Yeah, is he looking to you foryour?
(13:35):
What's next?
They're actually looking tothey might have already I'm not
sure to purchase the red light,the medical grade red light
infrared sauna that we have thatMike uses every day for
treatment in their wellnesscenter at Hillman.
Oh see.
Jodi Chestnut (13:50):
Wonderful, that's amazing.
So I mean, not only are yousaving your husband, you guys
are giving back.
Everything you're doing is forthe next people right.
Megan Grau (14:06):
Yeah, we talked to so many people at Hillman every
time we're there just to givethem some hope, because it's a
really hopeless feeling whenyou're there, pretty frustrating
feeling.
I get very frustrated when I'mthere At cancer itself not with
people, right, of course.
But yeah, it flipped a switchin us and we found that out and
we said absolutely not, we won'taccept this.
Sherry Ehrin (14:25):
Sure, I was going to ask you what gives you the
strength to keep pushing through, but it sounds like it's just
that's innate in both of you.
Jodi Chestnut (14:34):
Yes, and I'm sure the love, the bond you share,
the family.
I know that you both have beensuper involved with your son and
his activities.
How did you navigate this as amom trying to be strong Because
I'm sure you had to be strongfor your son?
This couldn't have been easyfor him either, and he's in that
transitional age as well.
Megan Grau (14:53):
Yeah, he was 19, just freshman year in college
and a lot of this stuff, sincehe was in baseball and in
college and away.
He wasn't here for it.
So we would just give himtelephone updates.
Once in a while he was able tocome home.
So he lived a bit througheverything we were telling him,
which we were very open with himand honest.
And we had a conversation withhim like how much do you want to
(15:14):
know or do you want us to justhold back a bit?
And he said nope, I want toknow everything.
So whenever we'd getinformation or whatever was
going on, we would just call him.
The day that we found out thathe was given that six months to
a year to live, we couldn't bearto tell him that over the phone
.
So we did drive to school andsurprised him Not a good
(15:36):
surprise, but we surprised him.
And in that time we were justwaiting for him to finish
practice, which we knew hispractice schedule and he wasn't
coming home.
He wasn't coming home, hewasn't coming home.
It was probably almost twohours after practice that he
finally came home and when wefound him he was after practice.
He was.
He had a job to cut otherpeople's fields, you know
(16:00):
baseball fields and whatnot.
So that's what he decided to do.
So then, during that two hourtime in the car was a very, very
, very stressful but loving timethat Mike and I had together in
a very confined space.
We couldn't leave.
It was pouring down rainoutside, the whole thing, and we
really talked about everysingle aspect of it and what we
(16:23):
wanted out of the rest of ourlives, what we wanted to happen
if per se, he were to pass awayall of the things that you want
to say to somebody during thattime.
But some people just don't, wedid that.
Just too hard to say Mm-hmm,did that, yeah.
And then we told him and thatwas obviously hard, but he went
to school for four years atYoungstown and played baseball
(16:45):
and excelled in his scholasticsas well.
It was quite amazing to see himflourish and it was such a
heavy load off our shoulders andit was such a distraction for
us.
Mike went to almost everysingle game.
We went to some away games,sometimes we do, to treatments
or how he was feeling andwhatnot, and surgeries,
(17:07):
certainly a bright spot through.
He was such a bright spotthrough it all and I even
remember his freshman year.
That was 2020.
We were at a playoff game atWright State and we didn't make
it into the second round ofplayoffs.
So you know, everyone was upsetbut we just couldn't help but
think, God, that's probably thelast time he's going to have his
(17:28):
dad here to watch him and itwas gut-wrenching.
And the coaches, let us come onthe field and hug him and you
know, really be in the moment,and it was a really special
moment.
But fast forward.
My husband was able to watchall four years of him play for
Youngstown State and then heended up getting picked up by
Pitt Baseball because he had afifth year of eligibility.
(17:49):
So he played in our hometownand he played for the ACC for
his fifth year for his master'scertificate.
So not only did he not miss ayear, he got it all.
He got it all.
Yeah, it's amazing, it reallyis amazing.
So what we were talking about alittle bit before is what did I
do to be strong?
I knew after a certain time,after my mother passed, I was
(18:12):
kind of going down a path thatwasn't the best.
It was a very upsetting timeand then one day I just stopped
and I sat and I thought aboutwhat am I going to do for my son
?
I know what I can do for myhusband, but what do I need to
do for my son so he can still bea kid and be a college kid and
(18:33):
have this great experience?
So I ended up going alcohol freeimmediately for 14 months
straight and I went into thisworkout program which was super
helpful as well in my garage butyou know, I just did at home
workouts and my body be bangingmy gosh.
I looked good.
I just want to be the bestversion of myself and really
(18:56):
give Turner the time and spaceand the knowledge of knowing
that his mother is going to beokay.
Yeah, if it's all said and done, if this just doesn't work out
for mike, then I wanted him tobe confident in me and him not
to try to take on that role ofprotector and all that.
Sherry Ehrin (19:16):
I wanted him to still be a kid and be in college
and you're giving him thatsense of security, some sense of
security, some sense ofsecurity, some sense of
stability.
Megan Grau (19:24):
Mm-hmm, and he wrote me a Mother's Day card shortly
thereafter and said I knew youwere strong, mom, but I never
knew you were this strong.
You're doing an amazing job.
Yeah, I saved that card.
Jodi Chestnut (19:35):
That's so important Aw.
Sherry Ehrin (19:39):
Yeah, that's not the typical default when people
are going through hard things.
Yeah, that's not the typicaldefault when people are going
through hard things, we go toour vices that are the least
helpful in the long run.
So you had to find another way,another outlet, which for you
became the working out, thephysical activity.
Megan Grau (19:58):
I read books.
I read inspirational books andmanifesting.
I read this amazing manifestingbook, which I read multiple
times now.
What is the book.
Sherry Ehrin (20:08):
I will link it in the show notes and put it in the
TY toolkit on our website.
It's called manifesting.
I think you said that one ismanifest the seven steps to
living your best life and thatone's by Roxy Nafusi and it's
just stepping into meditationand the meditation practices of
(20:29):
manifesting your life Likepositive energy in and not
focusing on all the negativitybecause it's really really easy
to to get in a downward spiraland stay stuck there and be
stressed and anxiety-riddenwhich, yeah, sure, it was a
(20:50):
stressful and anxiety-riddentime and it still is but you
can't just keep doing that, youcan't be in that space all the
time.
Megan Grau (20:58):
Yeah, that's the frequency you're giving out is
what you're going to receive.
So and I learned that, and so Iyou know I had some good
friends talk to me about certainthings on how to do that, and
you know I still practice it.
Yeah, just daily, more of apurposeful, mindful way of going
about being positive.
I mean, yes, I'm a positiveperson in general, but it is a
(21:22):
very focused mindfulness andpositivity every day, sure it is
helpful.
Jodi Chestnut (21:30):
Yeah, even the most positive of us.
You still have to practice, youstill have to work it just like
any other muscle, right?
Megan Grau (21:37):
It's uncomfortable.
Sometimes you actually feellike you're ridiculous, saying
these things to your head, youknow, but your subconscious
brain doesn't have, doesn't knowjokes, it doesn't know sarcasm,
it doesn't know anything elseother than what you're telling
it.
And if you're telling it allthe time you're stressed, you're
angry, you're bitter, you'rescared, then that's all you're
going to put out.
Yes, that's the shift.
Jodi Chestnut (21:57):
We talk about that a lot, about the
compounding you can compound andgood compound.
The bad compounding you cancompound in good or you can
compound the bad Compound bad.
Sherry Ehrin (22:05):
yeah, but also in that I'm sure have been the
moments, the days where you areon pause or you can't get moving
yet you have those days, youhave those times.
Megan Grau (22:22):
And we've learned that it's okay to be that way,
giving yourself grace.
I mean, we just went through itlast week.
So when we get bad news or weget news that we're blindsided
by, we're deer in headlights,we're feeling all the feels,
we're feeling anxiety-ridden,sad, mad, stressed, all of it,
and just stunted emotionally tothe point where you don't want
(22:44):
to see people.
You don't want to, you justwant to sleep, if you could
sleep.
But I think we've.
We've learned that that's okay.
You know, we've given ourselvessome time to grieve this
process and and typically ittakes the next day we rebound.
So we forced ourselves torebound better than anyone.
Jodi Chestnut (23:03):
You're allowing yourself to feel and process,
which is probably a harder partfor you too, because you are
go-getters, you are, you know,you're vibrant and you're
fighters and I'm sure thatgetting to that space, learning
to get into that space where youcan accept that sometimes
you're going to feel like shitand you're just not going to
want to be that person, I thinkallowing that was probably not
(23:27):
easy.
Megan Grau (23:28):
Yeah, at first we just wanted to try to gloss over
everything.
In fact it was a while that wereally didn't tell a lot of
people.
At first we told the corefamily and the core people, but
we really didn't want it outthere and all the world to know
at first.
But then we said, why not?
You know, people are going topray for us and we have people
that are praying for us all overthe entire country and other
(23:51):
countries.
So at that point, that's when Istarted becoming a little bit
more vocal about it and postingupdates on social media, because
we have so many people that areworried about him and praying
for him and want to know what'sgoing on, who love and care for
you.
Right, our community.
We both grew up together in theAvonworth community.
Like I said, he was both mybrother's best friends.
(24:13):
Our roots run really deep inour community and you know
people love us.
They love both of our families.
So, yeah, I felt reallycompelled and it actually made
me feel stronger.
My husband I'm his PR person.
He calls me because he does alot of social media, so he
typically knows when I postsomething, because people start
(24:34):
reaching out to him or they seehim somewhere and they'll, you
know, mention it or whatever isoccurring at that time.
And he said oh, my wife musthave posted something.
Yeah, I said, yeah, we were soappreciative that she does that
and I've even given tips andhelpful hints about things that
helped Mike through radiationand chemo and immunotherapy and
(24:56):
just some different practicesthat really helped him.
That I felt, well, I'm going toput it out there because
somebody else might be dealingwith this, so you're still
giving back that I felt, well,I'm going to put it out there
because somebody else might bedealing with this.
So you're still giving back, Iguess.
So yeah you're right.
Sherry Ehrin (25:07):
It's also another way to support Mike, so that he
doesn't have to bear that Rightand people are able to show up
in love and support.
Yeah.
Megan Grau (25:18):
And boy they did.
Our community and our familyand our dear, dear friends came
in tenfold when this all cameabout.
We had friends that they wantedto do a fundraiser for us and
they called it the Grau StrongBash that's our last name, graus
and they came to us and askedif we'd be okay with it.
And we said sure, okay, becausewe knew we were going to be up
(25:40):
against some heavy, heavyfinancial burdens.
Yes, and Mike was no longerable to work.
So we agreed.
But we thought literally maybethere'd be maybe 100 people max
at this fundraiser and when weshowed up I think there was 500
(26:01):
people there and baskets uponbaskets.
We were so overwhelmed.
It was such an amazing day andnight that we were actually
really shocked.
I mean, I knew we were loved,but I didn't know we were loved
this much and I could neverrepay all the people that
participated.
And we had other you knowfundraisers GoFundMe pages from
Turner's travel baseball teamput it out there and everyone in
(26:22):
the community.
Just, it was shocking.
Sherry Ehrin (26:24):
Yeah, I've experienced that for my dad as
well, and it's it's somethingthat changes you for forever
forever and it's.
Jodi Chestnut (26:40):
but you are, Sherry you're doing it by what
we're doing right here, andMeg's giving back by what she's
doing, sharing her story,sharing her resources, being
open to talk about the thingsthat you've gone through.
All of those things are givingback in the absolute best way.
Megan Grau (26:58):
When you have people in your lives like that, you're
not just fighting for yourself,you're fighting for everybody.
You know you're fighting foryour life, but you're also
fighting for the life that.
Sherry Ehrin (27:06):
It's like being on a team and you have all these
people on your team.
Megan Grau (27:10):
Yeah, yep, I mean, people came and cleaned our
house.
Good friends own a cleaningcompany.
They cleaned our house once amonth for two years.
We had food donations forprobably two years through the
really, really hard, hard timeswhere it was extremely difficult
.
You know, in the interim of allthat we did, we lost a dear
friend three days after mymother passed away.
(27:32):
I lost a dear friend three daysafter my mother passed away.
We lost my mother-in-law Mike'smom nine months later and
Turner lost one of his dearestfriends two years ago.
Knowing that we had thisstrength behind us, not even
just ourselves, but in ourcommunity and the people that
we've lived with and livedaround and even complete
strangers and lived around andeven complete strangers I can't
(27:58):
tell you how many completestrangers would mail us
something, or even a card, orshow up at the door and just
donate something a dish or youknow things like that Very
humbling, yes, in a good way.
Right, you know Right.
Sherry Ehrin (28:09):
In a very good way , and it's things like that to
remember.
When everything seems so crazyin the world right now, you got
to remember that people are good.
Megan Grau (28:21):
There are so many good people out there.
Yep, everyone focuses on allthe bad stuff, and I get it, but
part of my journey as well thatI no longer really do that.
Yeah, I don't focus that muchon the bad stuff.
I really just purposefully tryto stay on the positive side of
things.
My mother taught us that shedid it through many, many, many
trials and tribulations andhealth issues in her life.
(28:44):
Her mantra was always treatpeople the way you want to be
treated, and that's what I havetaught our son since day one,
mm-hmm, so he knows that.
But it's that rise up feelingin you that when something is
happening, you have two choicesyou can either lay down or you
get up.
You rise up and you do better,you be better Right, give
(29:07):
yourself some space, giveyourself your moments where
you're down, and that'scompletely fine.
But you can't stay in thatspace very long.
Sherry Ehrin (29:15):
Yeah, that's right .
And speaking of that, while allthis was going on, and with the
support of friends and family,you took on something completely
new, completely out of yourelement, and made the bold shift
in your career.
So tell us about that.
(29:36):
And how does that even come tobe with all that you had on your
plate at that time?
Megan Grau (29:41):
I still don't actually know exactly.
I just I know this.
It was New Year's Eve, 2020.
So, heading into 2021.
And at that point, my life thatI knew so much was gone.
It was unrecognizable.
Honestly, the only thing thatwas remaining the same was my
job, and I was unhappy in my jobfor many years.
(30:03):
And I just again I rose up andI said I'm not entering into
2021 in this job.
In this job, and for years, mycousin, who is now my business
partner, robin Jones, she hadbeen asking me to come along in
her real estate team for PiatSotheby's International Realty
and I never did it.
I was a creature of habit, andthat's another thing that has
(30:26):
seriously changed in my life.
I am not a creature of habitanymore.
Yes, I like certain things, butMore adventurous habit anymore.
Yes, I like certain things, butMore adventurous, yes, way more
adventurous.
We take flights.
Now we go places on vacationwhere my husband and I did not
fly anywhere for probably 20years because we were petrified
of flying.
Actually, we had a phobia, wow.
(30:46):
So now, ever since that, we sayscrew it, we're going what?
Sherry Ehrin (30:50):
was the first flight.
Megan Grau (30:52):
First flight we took was to the Grand Canyon.
We went to the Grand Canyonwith some really really
fantastic friends of ours twoother couples and we saw the
Grand Canyon and we watched thesunset over the Canyon.
It was an amazing, amazing trip.
And Mike was really sick at thetime and I can't believe he was
even able to manage it reallysick at the time and I can't
(31:15):
believe he was even able tomanage it, but he did and we
have such great memories andphotos and laughter and tears,
all the, all the things.
And that's the first place wewent.
So, yeah, I just decided thatnight I'm done and I left my job
.
I walked away from my job of 15years at a law firm and I
immediately started studying formy real estate exams.
(31:36):
So it took me six weeks and,ladies, I'm 48 years old or
whatever, I'm 52 in June.
So I had to study.
I'm studying in the hospital,I'm studying while my husband's
having surgeries in the waitingroom.
I studied for six weeks, solid.
Then I went and took my examsand I passed them immediately,
(31:56):
both of them, and I went to workwith my cousin on the Robin
Jones team in real estate and itis the best decision I've ever
made in my entire life with myjob.
Amazing, it's wonderful.
I'm so happy.
Jodi Chestnut (32:08):
I love helping people and probably a lot less
stressful than your previous job.
Megan Grau (32:13):
Yeah, a lot less stressful.
I'm very flexible in my days,which I really needed, a job
that I could be home with myhusband and my son and to be
present and not be sittingbehind a desk for eight, nine
hours and sitting in traffic andall that jazz.
And I get to spend a lot ofdays with my cousin.
She's like a sister to meIncredible transformation cousin
(32:35):
.
She's like a sister to me.
Incredible transformation.
Yeah, everyone thought I wasinsane.
I get it.
They looked at me like I wasabsolutely lost.
Sherry Ehrin (32:39):
You're like totally taking a leap without
you know.
No, no stability, because atthat point in time Mike was no
longer able to work.
Megan Grau (32:48):
Yeah, and, like I said, the first couple of years
getting in real estate isdifficult, you know, but I had a
great mentor and my cousin andshe's highly successful.
I still learn every day, but itis by far the best decision.
I have a career now.
I didn't have really a careerback then and I don't
necessarily know if I'd havebeen able to make that jump if
my life hadn't been in suchdisarray.
Sherry Ehrin (33:10):
You know, back then I might've just wanted to
stay comfortable and secure andor hemmed and hawed around it
and studied a little bit here orstick your toe in, but you,
just you dove straight in girl.
Megan Grau (33:22):
I dove straight in the next day.
I was like New Year's day, herewe go, here we go.
Sherry Ehrin (33:27):
Okay, and so that's been now four years.
Megan Grau (33:30):
It'll be four years in March.
Wow, yeah, and my husband saysit.
It's actually kind of a truetestament.
He said it to me probably abouta year ago.
He said you know, Bub, that'swhat we call each other Bub.
And he said, Bub, even thoughthis was the most
heart-wrenching and worst timesof our lives in the past five
years, I've seen you so happy.
(33:52):
He's like I've seen atransformation in you that you
haven't had and it's because youdid something for yourself and
changed your career path intosomething that you're good at
and that you love.
So I think that's a really truetestament of how, if you can
say, I'm really happy during allthis time, I think that was a
(34:13):
pretty true testament of it wasthe right choice for me and my
family, I mean.
Jodi Chestnut (34:17):
they say we grow in uncomfortable places, right,
so you're?
A great example of that.
Megan Grau (34:23):
I am.
I was not a person of change.
I didn't love change a lot.
You know, even if I got a newlaptop now, it doesn't even
matter, I just roll with it,yeah.
Sherry Ehrin (34:34):
Ultimate pivots.
That's what happens when yougot out of your comfort zone.
You were thrown way out of it.
That's probably it.
You were thrown so far out ofit that it almost felt that was
the norm is to go do somethingelse out of your comfort zone.
Megan Grau (34:46):
Right, that's what I said.
I said why not I
Sherry Ehrin (34:58):
Well, it worked out.
It worked out.
Yeah, it did.
I'm super happy.
And speaking of happy, there'syour mom, the 3 heart.
Tell us about that.
She left her special symbolthat she always said that when
you talk about her.
Megan Grau (35:13):
Yeah, I have it tattooed on my arm as well,
after she passed.
So, growing up, my brothers andI were always in sports and
whatnot, and sometimes she wouldjust yell I love you from
across the field or somethingyou know if we're walking onto
the bus or whatever and shestarted just to say three, which
means I love you, and she wouldhold three fingers up all the
(35:34):
time and she would scream outall the time three, three, which
means I love you, and she wouldhold three fingers up all the
time and she would scream outall the time three, three, three
.
We have it cemented in ourfamily home in the steps.
We have it cemented in my frontporch now and with our son's
handprint next to it when he waslittle.
So it's been like a mantra forus growing up and then it's just
transferred over to ourchildren.
(35:56):
So her grandchildren and youknow she was constantly saying
three, and any card that you gotshe would have a heart and she
would have a three in it or itwould be in parentheses three.
That was her thing and thatbecame our thing.
Sherry Ehrin (36:08):
Sure, and that's part of what's carried you
through.
It's a big part of what'scarried you through.
Megan Grau (36:14):
Yeah, yeah, her love was.
It was something else, that'sfor sure.
She loved fiercely.
You know if she loved you, youknew it.
I learned that from her.
So when she passed, I got athree.
I actually didn't put thatnumber three because people were
asking me why did she used towrite it out?
No, she never wrote it out.
(36:41):
But my husband, during hisdiagnosis, my niece got a tattoo
of a heart with a 22, likeincorporated.
I immediately, at 48 years old,got my first tattoo with 22 on
it for him.
So I thought, well, if I have athree on my body, people are
going to think what is going onwith her.
So I chose to write it out onmy arm.
But my nieces, hunter, haydenand Harris, they all got tattoos
with my mother's handwritingthat had three with the heart or
all our love three.
So there's four of us with thattattooed on our bodies.
Sherry Ehrin (37:03):
So far legacy for Turner and your loved ones and
the listeners what feels mostimportant to say out loud.
I feel like you've already saidso much.
Megan Grau (37:20):
I said a lot of it, probably, and my mantra, you
know, is treat people the wayyou want to be treated and
understand that everybody'sgoing through some things in
their lives, every single one ofus.
And you might listen to ourstory right now and think, oh my
gosh, but there are otherpeople out there that have it
worse.
Their loved ones are lost,they're gone.
(37:41):
So I try really hard to bemindful of all of that.
Now, if I'm even in a publicplace and just try to be mindful
about your surroundings and whoyou're dealing with, and they
might be grumpy, but they mightbe dealing with a lot of stuff
too.
They might be happy and theymight be dealing with a lot of
stuff too.
Yeah, because you're sure that'sme Right, you don't know what
someone is carrying, but I alsoI surround myself with the
(38:03):
people I know that want the bestfor myself and my son and my
husband and our family.
I don't stress any more aboutpeople that are just negative in
general.
They like to complain, theylike to just oh, my car broke
down, you know, whatever.
I distance myself from that.
I don't have a lot of patiencefor that, and not that I do or
(38:26):
say anything.
I just remove myself from thesituation and live my life and
not worry about it anymore.
Sherry Ehrin (38:32):
Yeah, I recently started practicing.
I can't remember where I heardthe idea, but I was like, oh,
I'll try that you get onecomplaint a day and if you just
think about it and allowyourself, that's my allowance
one complaint a day I feel likeI'm a positive person.
I feel like I'm catching myselfstill wanting to complain about
something that's totallyirrelevant, like really
(38:53):
meaningless.
Megan Grau (38:55):
Right, no, I just think, um, you know hard things.
Yeah, I just think, be the bestperson you can be.
You know, when none of us areperfect, everyone struggles.
It's just how you rise up.
You know also, you're strongerthan you think.
Wherever you are, you'restronger than you think we all
are, we all are, and I wasdefinitely taught that that is
(39:17):
for sure.
Sherry Ehrin (39:18):
That is for sure.
And yes, we all are strongerthan you think.
Thank you for spending thistime with us.
The world may feel heavy rightnow and we're all carrying that
weight together.
But while the bigger pictureunfolds, people are still facing
deeply personal challenges, andthat's why today's conversation
(39:39):
matters.
Megan's willingness to speakopenly about her pain, her
journey and the realities shelives with is a gift.
She reminds us to treat eachother better by giving more
grace.
We just don't know what someoneis facing day after day.
And by sharing her story, sheis helping others who are in
tough places to see that you'renot better by giving more grace.
We just don't know what someoneis facing day after day.
And by sharing her story, sheis helping others who are in
tough places to see that you'renot alone and you are stronger
(40:01):
than you think.
And sometimes speaking our painout loud is not just brave.
It can be a powerful part ofhealing.
Megan, thank you for coming onand sharing your truth with us,
and Mike, we are in all of yourstrength and determination.
Keep going, keep growing, Graustrong.
This podcast is forinformational and entertainment
(40:22):
purposes only.
Nothing shared on this podcastshould be considered
professional advice.
The views expressed by the hostand guests are their own and do
not necessarily reflect thoseof any organizations or
affiliations.
If you or someone you know isin crisis, please reach out to a
(40:44):
trusted professional or crisishotline in your area.
Help is available 24-7.
Thank you 7 crisis interventionand stabilization services to
all Allegheny County residents.
You can reach them by calling1-888-796-8226.
If you are struggling withmental health, addiction, grief
or any other serious personalchallenges, we encourage you to
(41:05):
seek support from a qualifiedprofessional.
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